Get ready to strap into this rollercoaster ride. I think I hurt my own feelings writing this and the next few chapters.

There was a nervous quality to her touch and Soul tried to blame it on the proposal, not on the fear that he should be hoping he'd struck into her the night before. It lingered between them throughout the morning and into the afternoon, from the office to the subway that delved them deeper into the center of the city where skyscrapers were the norm. It was one such tower that housed Eibon, an office with a cloud view that made Soul's stomach churn almost as much as the fact that as they were walking into the office he still didn't have a solid plan.

That in itself was a complete oddity for Soul, but Maka had, of course, thrown a wrench in the works with the night before by giving him a literal taste of what he truly wanted. Now stealing glances at her was a new kind of agony because he knew what her hair looked like lingering across his pillow or how easily those perfect lips became even poutier after the pressure of his kiss. Worse yet, holding her hand or even touching her was off-limits, a treasure that was only safe to experience in the safety of the apartment. How much did he wish he could keep them trapped there in some kind of timeless enjoyment?

He almost groaned at the thought but trapped it behind his lip as they sat in the waiting room of Eibon's office, the receptionist already having scurried away behind the oversized office doors.

"Try to breathe," Maka murmured half for him but should have taken her own advice as she found herself gasping for air just from that desperate look in his eyes. I wonder if it's this or it's us because I honestly can't find the seam between the two right now myself.

"It'll be fine," his voice was strangely toneless, leaving her with only a modicum of assurance. There was no more time to cultivate more as the receptionist returned to wave them towards a separate hallway. They fell into their usual pattern, Maka walking first and Soul following close behind as they headed down the hallway until a quick left took them into a conference room.

"There are instructions on how to hook up your computer on the table. Mr. Eibon will be with you in a moment." Those words sounded like they'd come from her mouth a million times and she disappeared without any unscripted additions.

Soul followed the simplistic directions and once again anxiously rearranged the order of his demo tabs as Maka tried not to pace from her side of the table. It was five minutes that felt more like hours before Eibon let himself in the conference room. His clothing still seemed out of place, a haori-like coat that gave him the air of some Heian Era shogunate, but his face struck Maka with some kind of familiarity. She couldn't place it but she scrutinized the thin, gaunt cheekbones, the short ebony hair that he slicked back away from his forehead. "Begin," he shot out without introduction as he dropped into the seat at the head of the table.

Maka nodded to Soul and the first of the designs dominated the screen. Her words were well-rehearsed, her voice never droning but vibrantly alive with inflection as she went over each point. Soul kept up with her in perfect time, demoing details as Maka spoke to them in perfect sync. As far as Soul could tell, their work was impeccable as always which meant there was no slick way to ease them to failure.

As they inched towards the end, Soul still oscillating in his mind as he watched Maka's lips move, Eibon's voice broke her flow. "Ms. Albarn, if you wouldn't mind…"

"Sir?" Maka was trying not to let her eyebrows explode off the top of her head at the interruption.

"I think you've shown me more than enough," Eibon leaned back in his chair, tenting his fingers as his elbows rested on the arms. "But I'd like to request to talk to Mr. Evans alone."

Soul's spine would never thaw at the thought, but Maka was unphased, looking less concerned at that request than the breaking of her flow. "Of course, sir." Maka sent a sweet smile Soul's way, making his gut scream traitor before she was even out the door.

"Sir-" Soul started but one of Eibon's fingers raised from their joined position.

When the door closed and there was nothing left of Maka's receding footsteps, Eibon turned icy blue eyes to him. "What was your intention when you mentioned my wife?"

This is it, any chance I have is now, and… what chance am I taking? "With all due respect, sir, I think you're making a mistake."

"When someone starts with that phrase, it rarely comes with respect," Eibon snapped back quickly. "And your presumption that I'm making a mistake is a dangerous one."

"I know that, sir." Soul let his jaw grind shut for a breath. "And I know I can say I assure you it comes with respect and understanding, but you can just go right on and assume it's bullshit." His toe was achingly prodding that line as he watched Eibon's eyebrows fuze together with a knot between them. "You asked her if I lost someone, right? If I knew what that was like?"

"A man your age-"

"Yeah, I get it," Soul cut into his words without hesitation. "I'm too young to lose a wife, so I don't have exactly your experience, but I lost the only person who ever loved me. I lost her without warning, without a goodbye, and without knowing how the fuck to handle it. Because nobody teaches you that, right? There's no class in school, and with shit parents, all I got was the talk that 'she's in a better place' and that was supposed to be that. Anybody tell you how to mourn your wife, sir?"

Eibon's brow was untangling as he was leaning forward. "No."

"But I bet I can guess how you are mourning her." Soul leaned back as if needing his space as Eibon moved forward but instead it was to give himself room to start the task of rolling up his sleeves. "First few weeks, you're lost. You don't know your head from your ass and eating, sleeping, and cleaning yourself is about as easy as advanced calculus. After you finally get back into the swing of actually living, you decide that nothing about you is right anymore. Nothing about your world makes sense so a remix is the only option." Soul displayed his arms. "You grasp onto whatever extreme makes you feel alive. Make yourself a new person that's unrecognizable to what you were because without them, who the fuck are you anyway?"

Eibon let an anemic smile toy at his lips. "Are you suggesting tattoos?"

"I'm showing you the route I went," Soul shrugged. "But you're throwing out a perfectly good company for representation and making absurd requests of possible new companies just to make your world make sense again."

Eibon's eyebrows raised as his head tilted slightly to the side, "Are you suggesting I not give you the job?"

Soul's lip quivered and regardless of his years of perfecting the ability to keep those emotional tidal waves from taking him, the tears started to burn his eyes. No matter what, it's ruined, everything is ruined, but… I'm not sure I can look her in the eye ever again because this is hers just as much as it's mine. "Look, I said good, not great. Let me make you a second pitch." He drew his attention back to his laptop, opening one of his minimized windows before clicking through. "These are the problems I see with your current set-up and I'll show you the changes I've demoed." Soul paused to wait for the interruption, Eibon slowing his roll, but when he risked a glance the man was still leaning close, eyes intent on the screen.

"So you created two different presentations?" Eibon let the question linger after Soul had finally finished his rundown, his face leaving Soul with nothing to read.

"I did," Soul nodded.

"Your partner, did she know?"

Soul cleared his throat, "No. I… don't take that as a reflection on her. Hell, you could call her in now and tell her, show her, and she'd probably jump right on board."

Eibon raised an eyebrow, "Then why keep it from her?"

"You got a few hours?" Soul sighed as he ran a hand through his hair. "It's complicated, sir, and if you need the boiled down version it's because I'm an asshole."

An amused smile was starting to pull at the side of his lips, "I never would have imagined that first night that you'd show yourself to be a vulgar, tattooed man."

The sweat was pooling in the curve of his lower back. "That a bad thing?"

"You're interesting," Eibon finally let the grin explode on his face. "And so is your partner. You trust each other, and I like that."

Oh, you don't know the fucking half of it. "Then you'll consider working with us?"

"You'll have your answer by the end of the week." Eibon eased slowly to his feet, extending a hand towards Soul. "But I would suggest holding off on taking any other projects for the time being. When I do hire people, I require a lot of attention and pampering."

"Yes, sir," Soul shook his hand firmly. As soon as they released, Soul went about the task of rolling his sleeves back down as Eibon opened the door and exited.

By the time he got one arm covered, Maka was back in the doorway. "Are you alright?"

Not 'how did it go?' or 'did you fuck it up?' but just how I am. This fucking girl. "I think he liked it."

"I knew you could do it," Maka gushed as she hurried the rest of the way into the room. There was a full breath's worth of hesitation before she threw caution to the wind, her arms wrapping around his neck to pull him close.

Soul sighed as he let one hand run down her hair and trail her spine. "We did it, OK? I wasn't even sure my bullshit was going to work."

"You're right, it's a we." She released him slowly but Soul's hand lingered across her lower back and on to her hip. "You can say 'no' because I know we're supposed to be careful but can we… celebrate tonight? Just to that bar you like, the safe zone, nowhere else and I promise-"

"Alright," he cut her off and reveled in that dazzling smile he got in reply. Because right now, it's just a week of limbo. No formal announcement for a week means… at least I can have a taste of living. "Just to the bar. Only for a little while." He looked towards the door for a moment, accessing the probability of nosy ears other than their own. Just in case he leaned closer, watching as a preemptive blush colored her cheeks. "And I think afterward, we can have that talk you wanted. You get a free pass to ask me what you want." Because I have to get you ready for what the next week's going to bring.

Time was eking by at a snail's pace, only made slower by the fact that Maka was putting effort into getting ready for the evening which left Soul puttering around his room. His current work was on the guilt of knowing there was a potential fight coming. He could guess she wouldn't be pleased about the lateness of his admission but at least he could temper that with the choice he'd made that was also part of his current agonizing. Again he found himself marking the week on his mental calendar, trying to prepare himself for the shit hitting the fan. He was so caught up that when Maka put her hands on his back Soul was about to scale the walls, a gasp of air rocketing down his throat.

"You would think a guy like you would be hard to sneak up on," Maka murmured as her hands drifted down his spine.

"Well, technically, I trust you, so my guard's a little down," he grumbled but had to break for another gasp that he attempted to hide behind a clearing of his throat. Other than that first night at the club, Maka usually went the cute rather than sexy route, not to say that those honestly weren't interchangeable for him when it came to her. Instead he was turning to see a dress that was actually skin-tight in a deep purple that was almost black unless the light caught it just right. The cut of the neck wasn't too low nor was the hem too high but it left the perfect mix of cream-colored skin that drew his eyes in to the point where he knew he was bordering on lecherous.

He waited for admonishment but instead she was quiet and he caught a blush on her cheeks that urged him forward, his head craning just as he cupped her cheeks. That was enough encouragement for Maka to meet him there, giving him the added joy of pressing her curves into his to give him a taste of whatever the dress left a mystery. Fuck, does she know what she's doing? Does she know how much this just leaves me full of an ache that can't be fucking fixed? "You ready?" he panted across her lips as it took all his composure to ease her away.

"Always ready."

Soul grunted a laugh in reply as he started to guide her out of the apartment, this time his hand coming to hers without any of the old hesitation but a new kind of worry that came with the time limit in his head. He thought about memorizing the way her fingertips felt tapping over his knuckles or the smoothness of her palm. It had to all be committed to memory because that was going to be the only eventuality. With that terrifying idea drifting through his brain, they hit the street and headed for the bar.

For once, Maka mirrored him in her silence, an act of being well-behaved rather than of being lost in her own thoughts because while Soul was one to worry, Maka was ready just to embrace the night for what it was - an actual date. It's not going to be that flustered mess because I know he wants me, wants this, and there's not going to be a fight. Only truth and comfort tonight. Those pleasant thoughts brought Maka to the bar, amplified by the charming surprise on Clay's face.

"Oh, Maka, welcome back," he dared a quick eyebrow raise at Soul. "What a pleasant surprise."

"It is," Maka chimed while Soul simply sent a frown in reply. "Could I have a gin and tonic please?"

"Coming right up," Clay's smile shined almost as much as the words before he turned to his work.

"Get rid of the sour face," Maka nudged Soul before taking a seat at the bar, this time on the side that would allow for the comfortable lean he'd done the first night.

Soul chuckled as he sat, instantly moving closer to her so his lips were next to her ear. "Don't boss me around."

A coy little smile pulled at the corner of her mouth, "You like it." Maka tentatively leaned back, meeting his chest as his hand came to her arm. She waited for his smart remark or at least the start of his musical analysis but Soul seemed elsewhere as his fingers traced gentle lines from her shoulder to her elbow. He should know better, silence only buys him a question. "The first night, what were you really going to ask me?"

Soul turned his head and he tried in vain to clear the nervous tension from his throat. You've already kissed her, idiot. What does it matter? "If I could kiss you."

Even though Maka was enjoying the contact she straightened her spine so she could turn her head and read those red eyes. "You were going to ask?"

"Why wouldn't I?" Soul raised his eyebrows at her as a playful smirk hit his lips. "You want some guy just kissing you out of nowhere?"

She rolled her eyes before huffing, "You're not just some guy."

"Thanks," he laughed.

Maka couldn't help but echo his chuckle, the thrill of the idea brushing away anything else. "But here, at the bar, you were going to kiss me? Mr. Never-Anything-in-Public."

"I hold your hand in public," he balked.

"That took work," Maka shot back.

He attempted to scoff but the smile he received from her in reply made it drivel into nothing. "Alright, fine," he grumbled. "Maybe it was more about just knowing that you… that you wouldn't punch me in the face for trying."

"I hit you once! And you asked for it," Maka complained.

"Technically, twice," he laughed, "but both times I did ask for it. Can't blame a guy for being scared though. You're…" His hand drifted up her arm until hitting the honey curls of her hair and let a finger tangle around a strand. "You're too beautiful and too damn smart. Doesn't seem right to waste it on me."

"Keep talking like that and I might hit you," Maka murmured as her eyes narrowed.

"What? I can't compliment you?" His eyes fell on her again just in time to catch the precious pout of her lip. It was almost enough to make him damn the never in public clause.

"Not when you're putting yourself down at the same time." He couldn't help the grin even if it cost him more of her annoyance. "Why are you smiling like that?"

Soul snorted out a laugh before shaking his head, "Forget it. It's kind of stupid."

"Tell me," she urged as she turned enough towards him that she could put a hand to his chest.

That's how she sucks the truth right out of you, and her touch did manage to steal any information necessary from his mouth, this moment included. "Well, guess it's…" his sigh was wistful even in the face of his own feelings of stupidity, "You always make it seem like I'm passable for human. Like underneath all of it, maybe I am just a guy."

"You're not just anything," Maka traced the buttons on his shirt.

"I wasn't insulting myself," he chuckled as he grabbed her busy hand. "You give me what I wanted, Maka. To feel normal. To feel like… I belong with someone."

He had expected her soft voice to say his name next but it was Clay behind him. "Soul…"

Soul turned his head quickly, the tight-lipped frown on Clay's face making his gut shrivel. "What is it?"

"Black Star's on the phone for you." Clay motioned towards the end of the bar, a phone tucked in the corner but off the hook on the counter.

"Soul-" This time it was Maka but he didn't hesitate to get from his seat and move towards the black analog phone.

This isn't right. Black Star knows, he knows… Soul picked up the receiver quickly. "What's wrong?"

The line hissed, crackled, and for a second Soul was sure it was dead but the foul toxin of her voice trickled out instead. "You know what will happen, don't you, Soul? You know how I'd love to tear her apart, kicking, screaming, slowly. And I'll make sure you watch because half the fun is how much you'll suffer. Because you need to learn, darling. You need to know your place. You need to remember that I am the one who really takes care of you-"

"Soul, dude, are you there?" Black Star's voice raked him out of the trance of the whisper.

That wasn't real. It can't be real. The goosebumps clung to his arms and the chill to his neck. "I'm here. What's wrong?"

"I was telling you, but you zoned out. Tell me you haven't been drinking," Black Star huffed.

"No, I'm sober. Just fucking spit it out."

"Good, because I need you. Shit's fucked and I've got faith in nobody else but you."

"I'm out," Soul hissed.

There was a pause filled with a few sighs and the slam of a car door. "Look, I know that. I wasn't even thinking about asking but Boss said to call you. Said you'd fucked up your deal. Did you forget to pay her?"

She knows. She knows already. How the fuck does she know already? All the dreams of an entire week were ash slipping between his fingers. "No. It's… the thing with Maka."

"Fuck," Black Star spit the word out a few times. "Then this… this is supposed to make it even, man."

Soul grit his teeth as he tensed his fingers around the receiver. "Medusa said that?"

"I wish I wasn't saying this, but yeah. Went so far as to promise you'd be off the hook for the money, too." Black Star barely sucked in a second breath before continuing. "But isn't that too fucking easy?"

"What's the job?" Soul muttered.

"Soul, seriously, I don't-"

"What is it?" He snapped.

Black Star gripped the wheel, hearing the vinyl creak unwillingly under his fingers. "Nothing we haven't done before just… about to start some serious shit with Noah and I don't need someone who's going to fuck this up."

Soul pushed a desperate hand through his hair as he tried to bring in the breath he needed. "OK. Meet me at the apartment. Give me thirty minutes." He didn't wait for the argument or alternative, slamming the phone back down against the counter. How he was going to look her in the face was beyond him and he kept his eyes to the floor as he made it back to her. "We have to go," he murmured as he managed to bring his eyes to hers. "Please, Maka."

"Alright…" All the playfulness was gone and while he could see the questions on her face, her lips stayed pursed together. Maka fell into step with him quickly, letting him force her forward with hurried steps on the darkened streets. It was painful to bite her tongue but there was no choice, the absolute terror she read in his eyes making her sure that prodding in the open wasn't possible. So she was biding her time, waiting for the door of the apartment to shut behind them. "Is it Franken?" was the first worried message to pass as soon as he was no longer pushing, allowing for her to block him in the hallway.

"No," Soul murmured. His fingers felt undeserving as he let them travel down her arms to grasp her hands. "I have to do something with Black Star."

"Do something?" Maka echoed. "That sounds like-"

"Just what it is," Soul tried to make that the last word, to take his hands away and turn but Maka refused to let him go, yanking him off his trajectory.

Her eyes were frantic but her mouth was twisted into a frown, "You said you were out."

"Trying to be out," Soul tried not to have it snap from his tongue but the words were still biting. "And right now, I can't say no."

Maka was digging in her heels, her fingers tightening on his arms to keep him in place. "If you're doing this for me-"

"For us," he corrected quickly.

"If it's for us, then why am I not included in the decision?" She was tugging on more than just his arm, practically pulling his heart out through his throat.

"What decision?" Soul hissed. "You think I'd be doing this if there was another way?" He ripped her hand from his arm, allowing him the space to turn and start for the door. He could feel the panic risking a push into useless yelling. "I have to go."

"Soul, stop-"

"There's no choice!" He felt the tug at the back of his shirt but he was already opening the door.

"Soul, if you leave-"

"What?" Soul couldn't stop the words from spewing, feeling it hit like bile at the back of his throat. "If I go, you'll leave me? You'll hate me? You don't think I've thought of all that too? But here is it, Maka. Is this a risk you're willing to take? Is this the life you could live because this is what trying to be out looks like. I told you I'd fight for you, and that's what I'm doing, and if you can't stomach that, maybe… maybe you have more to think about."