Anonymousow: I do enjoy posting posting posting. Haha. It's such a bad habit. -lacks any sort of patience/selfcontrol- /fail Glad you're still enjoying it.
Nameless: I must say this. I love your reviews. Haha. I may wait more anxiously for your reviews than you do for my updates. xD Questions will be answered relatively soon. Don't worry. And I posted /part/ of my picture on my profile page. I actually have a whole picture...but yeah. Red Bandit Remy is sooo my new love! I've found it's great to daydream about during Western Civ. -snickers- I love the "You always stop at the same part" line in the movie too. -hearts-
Wesley: Admit it...It's great that I "always stop at the same part. When it's the best part." -wink- Haha.
Amazon Life: Glad I managed to make Alex so cute. =] He totally owns a piece of my heart. Also glad I've managed to keep them in character so far at least. And I refuse to answer envelope questions, 'cause the answer shows up somewhere in one of these next few chapters.
Ina: Don't worry too much about Cam. She'll be fine...uh...for now. -cough-

So like...I was actually going to wait two more days to update. I'm busy with schoolwork and stuff...but I couldn't. After tonight's episode, I -at least- need a bit of humor. Seriously. I cried after tonight's episode. I knew what was coming...but still pathetically snapped. And not like...just shed a few tears. More like cried until my stomach hurt and all I could do was wonder how the hell I managed to get so attached to a fictional character. And yes...I do realize how stupid that is. -facepalm-
And...not that you care about my personal life, I'm in panic-mode. This novel is officially my baby...and bc of my growing love for Cadley, I've been encouraged to come out about being bi to my family during Thanksgiving break.
So...humor. It's necessary. I hope you find this chapter as funny as I did while writing it. I had a blast with it.
I don't know if there'll be another update this week bc not only am I sulking about House shattering my pitiful heart...I also have to write a fable for Lit...and have no idea what I'm doing with it yet...and I'm obsessing over being in enough panic-mode to seriously be rambling in the notes of my fanfic to people I don't even know. /fail
Review? -puppyeyes-

"You've been drinking," House stated not even five seconds after he opened his front door. "I can smell it on your breath."

"How else am I supposed to deal with you sanely?" Thirteen stepped inside and glanced around. "Can we get this over with? If we're here too late, I'm going to go into work tired in the morning. Then you're going to be angry and Dr. Cuddy will accuse me of being hung over."

"You probably will be hung over, so it won't be a false accusation." House shut the door behind her and grabbed his cane from where it was leaning against the wall. He walked over to his coffee table where he had two outfits laid out.

"I haven't had that much to drink," Thirteen argued, "Just enough to cloud my judgment and clear my conscious from doing this to your neighbors." She followed him to the coffee table and looked at the dark black shirts, pants, shoes, and makeup that were laid out. "House, you have got to be kidding me. There is no way I'm putting that crap on."

"You don't want them to see you, do you?" House hissed. "I checked the sizes of the clothes in your locker. Everything should fit. Bathroom is to the left, unless you want to change in the living room." He pulled off his shirt and grabbed one of the black ones from the table.

"In your dreams." She snatched the clothes he had got for her to wear and made her way to the bathroom. The only thing keeping her there was the constant reminder that her career was on the line and House could do whatever he wanted. "This isn't fair!" she called from the bathroom. She changed her shirt and pants then frowned. There was even a black beanie. With a groan, she slid it over her head.

"Hey, hey, hey!" House called back. "If you wanted fair, you chose the wrong job, the wrong profession…You picked the wrong species!" He fixed the hat on his head then picked up the black face paint. He made a line on either of his cheeks.

Thirteen emerged from the bathroom and walked back into the living room. "Is this how you amuse yourself?" she asked. "Because if so, you should really get an X-box." She grabbed the face paint from him and marked her cheeks too. "Why don't you just walk next door and politely ask them to not play their music that late at night anymore?"

"Because I'm a jerk," House answered. "And I already did. They wouldn't listen."

"Maybe you should have asked politely." Thirteen tossed the face paint back onto the coffee table.

"Maybe they should pick appropriate hours of the day to practice," House suggested. "Like any hour I'm at work."

"Can we just get this over with?" She slid on the black shoes then watched him put his shoes on also. "What? You're not going to take a black cane with you?"

"Almost forgot." House leaned his cane against the couch and limped to the closet. He opened the door and pulled out a new, black cane. "Special for the occasion."

She rolled her eyes. "Right. Great. Let's go." She waved him toward the door impatiently.

"I'm crippled. Sorry if my walking slow bothers you." House walked even slower just to bug her until he got to the door. He grabbed a flashlight from the stand beside the door then walked out into the hall, followed by Thirteen. "You know how to pick a lock, right?"

"What?" Thirteen shut his door behind them. "You want me to pick the lock to their basement?"

"How else do you expect us to get in? I put a little something in the pocket of your pants. Figured it'd be good enough to get us in."

She patted the side of her pants then reached in her pocket and pulled out the thing metal stick. "You're going to get us in trouble," she hissed. Trying to be quiet, she followed him down the stairs then across the small yard to his neighbor's house. "House, the lights are on."

"Well, obviously!" He whispered back. "If they had no power, this would be completely stupid."

"It's already completely stupid." She ducked under a window and got down on her hands and knees as he crouched and inched over to the basement door. "You didn't tell me it was right under the window."

"I thought it would have made you nervous," He answered. "I was doing you a favor." He balanced himself with his cane. "Do your best work."

"Do you have any idea how much I hate you right now?" She crawled across the grass then knelt on the two metal basement doors that led into the ground. "Ok," she whispered, mainly to herself. She lifted the lock and looked it over before taking the stick and placing it in the hole.

"That looks really dirty," House commented as he watched her wiggle the stick in the hole of the lock. "It looks like…"

"House," Thirteen cut him off. She glared at him. "Do you want me to do this or not?"

"I'll be quiet," House replied with a smirk. He turned and faced forward. After a second, he began humming the tune to Jeopardy.

She ignored him and just focused on the lock. It finally made a popping noise and the top came open. "Yes! Got it!" She whispered. "There." She pulled the lock from the door and tossed it in the grass then slowly opened one of the doors. Fortunately, it didn't make any creaking noises. "Well oiled," she commented in a mutter as she slid down onto the top step.

"Find the fuse box." House followed her into the basement. He flipped his flashlight on and shined it in front of them. He glanced around the basement. It was filled with old furniture and boxes and smelled of dust bunnies and mold. He took a step forward into the darkness and put his hand on Thirteen.

Thirteen jumped a few inches in the air. "House!" She spun around and swatted his hand away from her butt.

"I was making sure I didn't lose you," He defended.

"By putting your hand on my ass?" Thirteen snapped. "Next time, try my shoulder. Or here's a thought, don't touch me at all. I'm right in front of you." She groaned and turned around again, trying to stay a few inches in front of him. "God, just rape me in the basement, why don't you?" she muttered under his breath.

"What was that?" House took a few steps forward so he could hear her better.

"I said, I think this is a great basement, don't you?" She covered for herself. Before he could make any sort of remark, she rushed forward. "Found the fuse box!"

Just as she reached it, she could hear someone begin hitting the drums above the basement. It was too faint to tell whether they were good at it or not. "They're not that loud," she commented. A strum on a guitar practically shook the entire building, causing Thirteen to jump.

"Nah," House agreed. "They're actually really quiet compared to the quartet of old men that sometimes play in the park down the street."

"Okay, I get the picture." She placed her hand on her chest until her heart slowed down to its normal pace. Another strum on the guitar made her cringe. She opened the door to the fuse box and stared at the lever for a moment. "Ready?" She whispered.

"Ready." House nodded and shined the light from his flashlight at the lever. "Let's kick this."

After giving him a weird look, she turned around and pulled the lever. Just as she pulled it, House's flashlight went out. The noise from the floor above stopped and there was complete silence. "House?" she whispered, reaching out her hands to try and find him. "Come on, House , this isn't funny. We're going to get caught."

"I think it's funny." House turned on the flashlight from the other side of her.

Gasping, Thirteen spun around and accidentally knocked the flashlight from his hand. It clattered to the ground somewhere and shut off. "Shit."

"Now, that wasn't funny. Find it."

"What do you mean find it? I can't see anything." She got to her hands and knees, feeling the ground.

"Which is precisely why you need to find it. We have to leave. I'll look for the stairs." House limped forward. Not realizing she was on the ground, he tripped over her and crashed into a box of packing peanuts. "You didn't have to trip me."

"Ow, Damn it! I didn't trip you! You fell over me." Thirteen rubbed her side for a moment then continued to feel around for their only light. "I knew this was a bad idea." The faint sound of voices made her freeze.

"Hey, I think someone went down there and hit the fuse." The voice was male and getting closer. "Hurry up, Moonman, you're so slow!"

Thirteen could feel her heart beating up into her throat. "Hide," she hissed, unsure of where House even was. She crawled quickly across the floor, trying not to make any noise as footsteps began on the stairs. It was impossible to see where she was, but she found a stack of boxes that would surround her on three sides. It seemed like as good as it was gonna get. She wiggled herself into the space between them and crouched down then closed her eyes for a second. "Breathe, Remy," she mouthed silently.

"Fabian, you probably just left the door open last time you were down here. Who would want to go in our basement with the cockroach problem?"

Thirteen's eyes widened. She closed her eyes again and let a string of curses about House go through her head. She hoped they caught him and forced him to listen to their music or something. Opening her eyes once more, she tilted her head downward and looked at the ground. From around the corner, she could see a faint light coming from a flashlight. Holding her breath, she dug her nails into the palms of her hands. The light got closer and closer until it was pointing directly in front of her feet. She expected to look up and see some teenager staring at her with raised eyebrows. Instead, she looked up and saw a man with a thick, black mask and black and neon, purple hair that stuck out in thick spikes from his head. "Oh, fuck." Startled, she got to her feet and attempted to move backwards. The boxes behind her fell and she tripped over them, landing on her back with the back of her head smacking the ground with a quiet crack.

Her vision went blurry for a moment, but that could have simply been because the creepy, masked man decided to shine the flashlight in her eyes. "What the hell are you?!" she exclaimed.

"My name's Moonman," he answered. He reached a hand down to help her up.

"I didn't ask who you were." Thirteen stared up at him, trying to squint past the light. "I asked what you were. God, you're scary looking." She paused and realized she had just said that out loud. "Shit. I'm sorry. I didn't mean…"

Another man walked over and shoved Moonman away from her. "I told you your mask scares people!" He was dressed in a white and black suit that was complimented with white gloves that had finger holes. He ran a hand over his slicked back blond hair and grabbed the flashlight. "What are you doing in our basement?" He reached his hand down to help her up, keeping Moonman out of the way.

Thirteen took his hand and let him pull her to her feet. The world spun and she put her hand on the back of her aching head. "Ow."

"You okay?" Fabian looked concerned as he asked. It was impossible to see Moonman's expression while he had the mask on.

"Just peachy," Thirteen answered. She took the flashlight from his hand and shined it around the basement. "House? Where the hell are you?"

"Good job, Thirteen." House slid out from under an old couch and used his cane to help him get to his feet. "I told you this was a bad idea."

Her eyes widened. "You told me this was a bad idea?" She huffed and took a few angry steps toward him, but Fabian grabbed her arms and held her back.

"You're the one who got us caught," House answered, taking a step forward.

"I'm calling the police." Moonman pulled a cell phone from his pocket.

"What?" Thirteen turned to face the man in the mask. "Wait. This is all a big misunderstanding. I can explain."

"Good for you. That'll help when you're explaining it to the cops." Moonman nodded and dialed the police.

-----

House was led back into the jail cell by a man in uniform. "I heard this saying once," he said as he took a seat beside Thirteen. "A friend will come bail you out of jail. A best friend will be sitting beside you saying, 'Damn, that was awesome.' Does this make us best friends?" He feigned excitement.

Thirteen slowly lifted her head from her hands and stared at him in silence for a moment. "You have no idea how much I hate you right now." She nodded slowly then lowered her head to her hands again.

"I guess that makes us like best enemies or something." House tapped his cane on the ground and stared through the bars of the cell.

"God, you're so annoying!" Thirteen exclaimed. She rubbed her face which caused the black makeup on her cheeks to smear. "Can't you ever just not say something sarcastic?"

"I don't know," House answered. "I've never tried."

She groaned and got to her feet. After walking to the front of the cell, she rested her head forward against two of the bars. "You called someone to come get us out, right?"

"Should be here any minute." House turned and propped his leg up on the seat Thirteen had been sitting on.

"Who did you…" The door opened and the police officer stood from his seat. Thirteen's eyes widened and she slowly turned to face House. "Oh my God. Of all people, you called Cameron?" She tried to keep her voice low as Cameron and the police officer approached.

"Well, I wasn't going to call Cuddy," House answered. "And Wilson wouldn't answer the phone. Who else was I supposed to call?"

"I don't know," Thirteen answered, "Foreman? Kutner? Anyone!"

"What happened to you guys?" Cameron stopped a few feet away from the cell as the guard unlocked it to let them out.

Thirteen brought her hands to her forehead. This had to be one of her worst nightmares come true.

"Thirteen broke into some guys' basement," House replied. He whispered but made sure he was loud enough for Thirteen to hear. "Then she freaked out and got us caught."

"Dr. Hadley…" Cameron looked shocked.

"Do you really believe what he just said was the truth?" Thirteen lowered her hands and looked at Cameron, equally in shock. "He's lying to you."

"It wasn't a lie," House answered. "It just wasn't the whole truth."

"Can we not talk about it and leave?" Thirteen asked. "I'd like to go home."

"That's a shock." House followed Cameron as she began to lead them to her car. "I figured you'd like to go to the bar."

Thirteen opened her mouth to retaliate but realized it was useless. She pressed her hand to the back of her head again and trailed behind the other two in silence. She couldn't believe House would humiliate her and call Cameron to bail them out - oh, wait, yes, she could. When House got in the back of the car, she made the decision to sit up front. If it hadn't been Cameron's car, she probably would have slammed the door shut after getting in.

House told their adventure in the basement to Cameron with enthusiasm, making sure to put emphasis on everything he thought might get a reaction from Thirteen. But he couldn't. Thirteen sat in silence, listening to House's and Cameron's voices blend together until they finally pulled up to his house and let him out. An awkward silence filled the car.

"You okay?" Cameron was beginning to shift uncomfortably as she drove, glancing over at Thirteen every couple of seconds.

"I think I cracked my ego," Thirteen muttered. She yanked the hat from her head and threw it down by her feet then gently pressed her fingers to where her head hurt the worse. Her hair was wet. Hitting the light above her head with one hand, Thirteen took her fingers from her head and looked at them. "Damn it," she whispered.

Cameron glanced up at the light then at Thirteen's hand. Her eyes widened and she looked at the road before glancing back at her. "You're bleeding."

"No shit, Sherlock. Great observation." Thirteen took a slow breath and put her hand on her head again. She turned and rested her face against the car window. "You're like a fucking detective or something."

"Hey." Trying not to seem offended, Cameron took one hand off the steering wheel and rested it on Thirteen's shoulder. "Relax, okay?"

The fluttering returned to Thirteen's stomach as Cameron put her hand on her shoulder. She closed her eyes as her focus was pulled completely to the way Cameron's fingers rubbed small circles against her shirt. "Sorry." She wasn't sure if Cameron heard. If she did, she didn't answer. The car pulled into her driveway and Cameron stopped rubbing her shoulder. She slowly lifted her head from the window and opened her door. "Thanks."

"Do you need me to look at your head?" Cameron asked, watching her get out of the car.

"It's okay. I can handle it." Thirteen forced a smile then turned and got out of the car. "See you tomorrow?" she asked, about to the shut the door.

"I have off all day for once," Cameron replied. "Day after that though. Are you sure you're okay? I could come in and -"

"I'm fine." Thirteen tried not to seem disappointed in Cameron having the day off and in herself for not allowing Cameron to help. "Good night, Dr. Cameron."

"Sleep tight, Thirteen."