Miralinda: Glad you liked it. And happy I successfully managed to break a few hearts with Alex.
Anonymousow: I think I'd die for a g/f like Remy. Haha. Olivia pwns.
WrongObsession: Haha. I think I got jealous of Cameron while writing last chapter. This chapter might make you feel even worse for Remy. -shiftyeyes- Oh...and sorry if you didn't pick up the hint on Cam being pregnant. I guess I was rather vague.
FocusFire: I love that I wrote the 'Mommy' part effectively enough to touch all of you. -smile-
Theorangegirlxx: You're not horrible. And now you've reviewed, so you're epically great!
Tortall101: Glad you like my Remy/Cam.
Nameless: Alex is definitely adorable. I got very attached to him while writing him. Kinda thrilled I'm actually making people tear up with this. I was afraid things wouldn't come across as powerful as I want them to. - I told my dad. He apparently knew and so he pretty much just shrugged it off as w/e. He's gay, so it's not really a big deal for my dads and older brother. My dad won't let me tell the rest of my family until they got home and I can email them about it. -headdesk-
Amazon Life: I didn't expect him to have so many fans! I'm glad he's coming across as cute as I wanted him to be. Remy hasn't really...I dunno. There's too much going on to really process Cam being pregnant. It woulda been TOO much drama to make her flip out over it, y'know?
Ina: Like I said to Amazon Life, it woulda been too much drama at the moment to scare her away. Too much other stuff happening. Glad you liked the chapter!
Cameron had gone to take a shower after dinner as Thirteen focused on cleaning everything up. Everything was almost put away when the pill bottle on the countertop stole her attention. She leaned with her elbows on the counter, taking the object in - from its orange color to the way it felt to the shape and size of the pills inside. House said it was promising but any trust she had for House (which wasn't much to begin with) was thrown out the window after he told her Alex had hope when he didn't. She read the label multiple times, scanning but not really comprehending the directions, side-effects, and other information about the medication.
What if it didn't work? She tried to swallow but her saliva felt too thick to go down her constricting throat. She knew what would happen if it didn't. She'd avoid Cameron at all costs while trying to keep her dignity as long as possible. Her life would be in disarray, muddled with sex, drugs, and alcohol until suicide or worse - the disease progressing. The thought was sickening and it made her feel weak in the knees.
Leaving the pill bottle on the counter, she trudged over to a chair at the kitchen table and slowly took a seat before her legs had a chance to give out from under her. It wasn't even nine o'clock, but she suddenly felt exhausted. Letting her eyes flutter closed, she lowered her head to her hands and slid her fingers into her hair. Everything felt so surreal like she was watching everything from space and in a minute she'd hear her name and wake up.
She thought about Alex back at the hospital and felt sick wondering what was going to happen. It was almost like she was losing her own kid. She didn't want to think about it, but now she couldn't seem to get her mind off of it. She just wanted to bring him home and keep him safe and far away from death. She wanted to dissolve into her fairytale and have a happily-ever-after with Cameron and Alex.
It was another ten minutes or so before Cameron got out of the bathroom. She found Thirteen in the same position at the table and for a moment thought she had fallen asleep like that. It took a moment of standing in the doorway to realize her breathing was slightly erratic. "You okay?" She walked over to her then stood behind her and stroked her hair a few times before letting one hand rest on her back while her other hand fiddled with a pen that was on the table.
Thirteen drew in a breath and nodded. "Yeah." She lifted her head and pushed her hair out of her eyes then crossed her arms on the table and put her head down.
Cameron didn't push it. Her phone vibrated in her pocket and she pulled it out then held it to her ear as her fingers began to trace invisible designs on Thirteen's back. "What do you want, House?"
"I hope I'm not interrupting hot, lesbian sex," House answered. "Oh, wait, yes, I do."
She rolled her eyes. "You're disgusting. Is that the only reason you called?"
"It was the only reason I wanted to call," House answered. "Cuddy told me to call as a reminder for Thirteen. She didn't answer her phone so I called yours. I wouldn't have bothered, but Cuddy is standing next to me giving me her usual evil death glare."
"Thanks," Cameron said, "I think." Thirteen turned sideways in her chair and lifted her head so it was resting against Cameron's side. Cameron turned so Thirteen's head was against her stomach instead and slipped a hand under the back of her shirt.
Thirteen tuned out their conversation. She focused on breathing, trying not to think about death. She could almost hear the flat line on a heart monitor and her stomach rolled. "I'm not okay," she whispered suddenly, changing her mind.
"House, I have to go." Cameron snapped her phone shut and shoved it back in her pocket. "You could have said that to begin with." It wasn't accusing - simply a calm statement. She eased Thirteen back so she wasn't leaning against her then crouched down. "What's going on?"
Thirteen sat determinedly focused on her own breathing, the color slowly draining from her face. "I don't feel so good." It came crashing down on her that she was trying to start a relationship at the worst moment possible, not that there would ever be a better time. "What am I doing here?" she whispered, mainly to herself.
Cameron looked taken aback, misunderstanding the question. She pressed the back of her hand to Thirteen's forehead, expecting a fever. Instead, her skin was cool and clammy. "Remy," she said slowly. "You don't feel good because you're nervous." She glanced at the pill bottle then looked at Thirteen again. "It's okay to be scared, but this isn't the way to deal with it."
"I'm not scared." Those three words were quite possibly one of the biggest lies she had ever told in her entire life. The more she thought about having Huntington's and nothing to at least slow down the symptoms, the more terrified she became. "I think I'm going to be sick." She felt fused to her seat.
"Come on." Cameron slid Thirteen's arm around her neck then wrapped an arm around her waist as she helped her to her feet. She led her out of the kitchen and into the bathroom then helped her to the floor.
It was hard to breathe. Thirteen leaned forward on her knees, elbows on either side of the toilet as she supported her head with her hands. She could feel Cameron pulling her hair back away from her face but didn't have time to plead with her to leave. Her stomach muscles contracted painfully and she dry heaved multiple times before expelling the contents of her stomach.
Cameron tried to soothe her with a plethora of calming words. It hurt to watch her feel so miserable. When the vomiting eased, she gave her a rag to wipe her mouth off with then got to her feet. She got a cup of water from the sink as Thirteen sat back against the wall. "Take a few sips," she said as she handed it to her.
Thirteen obliged. With shaky hands, she took the water and hesitantly took a few, small swallows. "I'm going to go home."
"Right." Cameron shook her head. "You just got sick. The only place you're going is to lie down on the couch. I need to call House back." She flushed the toilet then reached both hands down to help Thirteen to her feet.
After taking a few more sips of water, Thirteen put the cup down then took Cameron's hands and got to her feet. She didn't put up an argument as the blonde led her from the bathroom to the couch. She laid down on her side and buried her face against her arm.
Cameron pulled the blanket off the back of the couch and covered her up with it. "Close your eyes." She pulled her phone out of her pocket and walked into the hall. After a glance toward Thirteen to make sure she wasn't going anywhere, she walked into her bedroom and called House back.
"House's house of complaining," House spoke into the phone. "State your complaint."
"I'm not calling to complain," Cameron said. She sat down on the edge of her bed and chewed on her pinky nail for a moment and leaned forward with her elbows on her knees. "I just called to talk."
House groaned. "Call someone else. Talk to Thirteen."
"She's sick," Cameron replied. "I think she's freaking out."
"Thirteen doesn't freak out," House answered simply.
"Which is why she's sick," Cameron said, rolling her eyes. "Maybe she needs to freak out."
"I know you're rolling your eyes," House commented.
Cameron frowned. "What do I do? If I let her take the medicine on an empty stomach, it won't even matter because she'll be throwing up all night long anyway."
"One, this conversation is annoying," House said. "Two, the logical thing to do would either be feed her or not let her take the medicine. Three, call someone else next time."
Cameron cringed as he hung up on her. She tossed her phone onto the bed then got to her feet and walked into the living room again. Thirteen was still on her couch but had her back to her. She walked over and sat down beside her, leaning over her so she could see her face. "I'm not going to talk to the back of your head, Remy," she said when Thirteen turned away. "Talk to me."
"There's nothing to talk about," Thirteen mumbled into the couch cushion. "I'm tired."
"I don't blame you." Cameron ran her fingers through her hair. God, she was stubborn. "How about this," she suggested. She leaned down so her chin was resting on Thirteen's shoulder. "Get up and take your medicine while I make us some toast and tea or something." She put her hand on Thirteen's and played with her fingers. "We'll eat again then go to bed. I'm tired too." She sat up and patted her arm.
Thirteen nodded and sat up too. "Sorry for ruining your night."
"You didn't ruin my night," Cameron replied as she led her into the kitchen. There was silence between them for a moment. "The pill bottle is still on the counter," she said finally. "I'll dig out the toaster."
"Right." Thirteen left it at that and walked numbly to the kitchen counter. She just stared at the bottle up until Cameron had toast in the toaster and water for tea in mugs in the microwave. She finally took one of the pills and swallowed it without anything to drink. It was going to be a long night.
-----
They both fell asleep on opposite sides of Cameron's bed. Cameron hadn't even bothered to change into her pajamas. She sprawled out on top of her blankets and was asleep before Thirteen was. She was out cold for almost a full three hours before something woke her up. At first, she wasn't sure why she was awake but then she felt the bed almost vibrating. She yawned and rolled onto her back then glanced at Thirteen. Thirteen was sitting against the backboard with her knees pulled close to her chest, shaking. "You're having a bad night, aren't you?" Cameron whispered.
Thirteen shook her head and lowered her face to her hands. Her breaths came in short, raspy gasps that occasionally mixed with choked back sobs.
"Hey." Cameron sat up and rubbed her eyes. "Why are you crying? You're not feeling sick again, are you?" She placed a hand tentatively on her shoulder.
Thirteen flinched under her touch. "I'm not crying," she denied it in a muffled, teary voice.
"Remy, you're shaking like a leaf." Cameron moved so she was kneeling in front of her, putting her other hand on Thirteen's other shoulder. "Take a few deep breaths."
"I can't," she whispered. She choked on a few more sobs. "It hurts to breathe." She shivered and tried to ignore the beads of sweat forming on her forehead. The room was spinning in circles and she couldn't stop crying or trembling.
"You're having a panic attack." Cameron gently pried Thirteen's hands away from her face. "You're not going to be able to breath with your hands covering your nose."
"I h-have as-asthma," Thirteen explained in between gasps. The oxygen in the room felt like it was running low and an overwhelming sense of dread washed over her.
"You're not wheezing." Cameron listening carefully to her breaths just to make sure. She placed her arm on Thirteen's knees and rested her chin on it, looking up at her. "Breathe in your nose and out your mouth. Slowly." She gently stroked her arm.
"You're making it harder to breathe!" Thirteen snapped and tried to push her away. "I look at you and I can't even - I can't, I can't…" She had no idea what she was even trying to say. "I can't. I can't. Damnit!" She scrunched up her face and smacked her head against the backboard of the bed a few times.
Cameron's eyes went wide and also filled with tears. She placed her hand behind Thirteen's head so she couldn't hit it and moved so she was sitting beside her. "Honey, stop." She pulled her to her lap, in between her legs and held her there. "Shhh, I have you."
"I don't want to die," she whispered. It felt good to say it out loud. "I don't want Alex to die. I don't want to die." Being that close to Cameron seemed to wash away the dread. It became easier to get air. She felt Cameron propping up pillows then leaning back against them. Thirteen leaned sideways, resting her head against Cameron's shoulder. She shuddered and gripped her shirt.
Cameron glanced down at Thirteen's hand. "I'm not going anywhere, Sweetheart," she assured her. She unclenched Thirteen's fingers from her shirt and brought her hand up to her lips. "It's my house. Where would I go?'
"I should move to the couch," Thirteen whispered finally. She gently pulled her hand away and sat up.
Cameron eased her back down. "We're both exhausted. Just let me take care of you. We can forget this ever even happened in the morning, if you want. Just close your eyes."
Thirteen nodded. She shuddered again then sighed and closed her eyes, curling up closer to Cameron as she tugged the blanket up over them.
Cameron sighed and also shut her eyes, both surprised and content Thirteen was letting her in past the walls she'd built up.