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EPOV

She was amazing. Incredible. As frustratingly fascinating as ever and I was feeling such forceful mixed emotions about it all. I didn't even know how I was functioning with the war raging inside of me.

On one hand, I was absolutely and utterly elated. She was glorious and she could be mine. I had been alone, surrounded by three pairs of perfect matches, for an endless amount of time. I wasn't the only family member who had the word "finally" playing on repeat in my head.

She was beautiful and I couldn't take my eyes off of her. As I brought her downstairs take her to hunt, my family's excitement was through the roof. Jasper was beaming—how could he not—but I was surprised to see Rose smiling as well. It felt like things were falling into place.

As perfect as things seemed, I couldn't fight the tragedy and magnitude of what I'd done to Bella. I was simultaneously rising in my joy and conversely drowning in my guilt. What had I done to this girl? Would she ever be able to forgive me—much less love me—after what I did?

She was wholly focused on the hunt so I tried to be in the moment with her. She deserved my presence in the here and now.

I modeled for her how to hunt but I should've known that she didn't need me. I simply told her, "trust your instincts" and she was off. She was wild and sensuous and I couldn't look away.

I had felt many things through the minds of those surrounding me for the many years but I had never felt what I was feeling for Bella now. She was all that mattered and I could quite literally feel my heart being anchored to her, as if there was no other option but to be near her. I felt love, devotion, lust, passion and concern for someone for the first time in a way that wasn't focused on my family or blood.

It was a powerful feeling and it intensified as I fed. I tried to focus on my meal so I wouldn't put any unsolicited attention on her. It was enough dealing with the end of her human life and the dawn of her life as a vampire—she didn't need to deal with my infatuation at the same time. I could wait.

When she finished, she was a mess. Her clothing was ripped and she had blood stains on her shirt, hands and face. I motioned for her to wipe her mouth—it was far too distracting to try and talk to her when I wanted to pin her beneath me while slowly and sensuously licking off each drop. I really needed to keep these impulses under control.

We tore off after the remaining deer after she indicated that she was still hungry. Of course she would be. She was, after all, a newborn vampire with an insatiable thirst for blood at the peak of its desperation. She would need a lot more than one deer.

We were running fast and she was able to keep pace with me, which said a lot. I was by far the fastest in the family. It looked like her newborn strength translated into newborn speed as well. I relished in the feeling of being able to run side by side with this wonderful person.

We would never get tired, never grow old, and never grow sick. Vampire were set in stone not only in appearance but in personalities and thought patterns as well. Rare occasions, such as finding one's mate, changed us forever. I was feeling things I had never experienced before and I wanted things that had never even crossed my mind previously. I had to take this logically and think of all the signs that seemed to be pointing to one thing—Bella was my mate.

I had thought of this life as a curse for a very, very long time. Being alone while surrounded by utter devotion and fulfillment through the couples in my family was beyond difficult at times. I had ventured out on my own, but this existence is impossible without someone to be there to help you through. Being with my family was infinitely better than being without them—though I felt the weight of their love every single day.

With the possibility of Bella being that person for me, my views had shifted. This life was made for finding my other half. The epic love stories written by Shakespeare had no match for the endless love of a vampire and his mate. We had eternity to be together and I was feeling desperate to start. I had waited so long for her, but I needed her to want this. I had to tell myself again—I could wait.

We were closing in on another herd of deer when Bella suddenly switched directions and ran south. I knew immediately what was happening as the sharp scent of human blood hit me. My worst fears hit me all at once as I bolted after her. I had to stop her.

It seemed that she was just playing before as we ran—she was impossibly fast. I had outrun every vampire I had ever come across in my life and now the one time I absolutely needed to catch one, I couldn't. She was over a football field away from me and the distance between us was lengthening. A ball of apprehension was rolling in my stomach and I feared for the worst. I could hear my cellphone ringing and I knew it was Alice—she had foreseen what was about to happen, of course, but I didn't have the time to talk to her now.

I lost visual contact of Bella and panicked further. Luckily, I was still able to follow her scent and track her but my hopes of intervening before she did something unfathomable were dwindling. How could I be so stupid hunting so close to humans? I should've known better than to go with just Bella but I had been selfish—I wanted her first hunting experience to be with me and me alone.

I smelled the blood before I reached them. I knew that a human was bleeding and it was a serious injury with a lot of blood if I could smell it all the way from here. As I drew closer, I knew that it wasn't an accidental blood loss. Bella's scent was mixed thoroughly with the human's and I knew.

I entered the patch of forest near a tree stand and froze. A hunter, who had been camped out in full camouflage, was in Bella's arms. She was crouched over him and growling at me. He was dead.

"Bella, no!" I cried, defeated.

The ferocity in her eyes diminished the smallest amount as recognition grew. She slowly moved away from the body and backed away from me, looking at her hands, now stained a violent red from the hunter's blood. I could see her mind working to catch up with the attack as she slowly returned to herself.

My phone was still ringing nonstop in my pocket so I finally took it out and threw it to the nearest tree, where it smashed into pieces. I was beyond angry at myself. This human was dead because of me. The guilt that was beginning to cloud Bella's features would be there for an eternity because of me.

She sank to the ground three feet from the man, her own body shuddering and shaking. I knew that if she had been human she would be in a full on melt down. I felt my heart break for her.

She slowly crawled to the man, who laid lifeless and ghostly pale, and began whispering apologies over and over.

I couldn't stay here. I was toxic to this girl. Ever since she had entered my life she had been constantly thrust into danger. I thought saving her from the truck was the right choice but I was wrong. To live with me for eternity would be a hell on earth that no creature should endure. I turned on my heel and ran away. I ran away from my life, away from my family, away from my guilt—away from her. I would allow my family to find her and care for her in a way I would never be able to by removing my cursed existence from them. She could become something better, something more, if I were far away. I tried to comfort myself with the thought that she would be better off as I left everything I had ever known behind me. I would not be found.