Disclaimer: I own nothing

Ch 12

RPOV

Months passed. Our lives were disrupted even further with Carlisle and Esme gone. I was still very angry at Edward and had not given up on my phone messages, though I had lessened the frequency. Bella had melded perfectly with our family and, while I was loath to admit it, seemed as if she really had belonged with us all along. If only my pig-headed brother could see this and understand that he was now the missing piece. I certainly wouldn't be the one to share this with him—he deserved to suffer a bit more for his ridiculousness. I did feel bad for Bella, though, and wanted her to be happy. She didn't actually know Edward and his penchant for being the most melodramatic depressive in the history of vampire kind but still couldn't bear to hear his name.

I thought back to when I had found Emmett. What if he had left me? What if he had blamed me for changing him instead of completely embracing this life as soon as he realized what had happened? Would there have been anything in the world powerful enough to keep us apart? I then thought back to Edward. There really was nothing more powerful than Edward's self-loathing so apparently that was the answer.

I was jostled from my thoughts from Bella entering my room.

"I think I need a hobby" she said in a deadpan tone.

"Are you bored? I mean, you never want to leave the house so that kind of limits us" I poked back.

She smiled at me and said, "I know. And I'm really scared but I also feel like I can't hide here forever. And I really do mean forever…" she trailed off. Her eyes took on a dreamy quality as if she were trying to imagine the weight of her statement.

"Well, for me, I had to find some passions and go through with them. There's a reason all of us have multiple degrees and we have various homes around the world. Eternity can get a bit repetitive."

Bella nodded quietly next to me.

"Have you thought of something you'd like to do…or even just try?" I asked.

She paused, seeming to take her time thinking.

"I've always loved reading. But I don't know what I would do with that. I didn't even get to finish high school".

I could sense that she was slipping into dangerous territory so I put my arm around her and told her that we could get creative and figure things out.

Alice bounded into the room at that point, "I have an idea!"

Bella and I glanced at each other with knowing smirks.

"I think we should go to college! I really don't want to go back to high school again and with Bella, it'll be like being a freshman all over again! Plus, we can share dorm rooms and go to parties and have fun!"

Suddenly I heard Emmett's voice shout from downstairs. "We're in!" I assumed he meant that Jasper was with him and they both had eavesdropped on our conversation.

I looked at Bella, trying to gauge her reaction. Since Alice had suggested it, I was pretty certain it was already going to happen but I wanted to give my new sister a chance to decide for herself.

"Can we really do that? I don't have a diploma? I would only have been a senior this year so how does that work? And where would we go? We can't be around people…I can't be around people." Bella mused aloud.

Jasper had slipped into my room with Emmett trailing after him, grinning.

"Let me take care of the "how", Bella. And no pressure. We can always go somewhere you want to go and you can let us know when you feel ready to enroll."

Jasper's excitement was contagious, as usual, and we all seemed to agree on the plan.

Putting the plan into motion is where each of us shined. Emmett called Carlisle and Esme to tell them of what we were thinking. They were supportive and asked if we would consider the northern east coast to be near them.

With a general location as our starting point, we all worked together to get the pieces stacked for our totally legitimate entrance into the upcoming freshman class. With majors picked out for each of us and dorms decided, we were all looking forward to a fresh start. Bella was naturally nervous and extremely hesitant to start this new adventure in the fall without testing herself. So began our trials of seeing what she could handle.

At first, we started really slow. Simply having her breathe in the scents from the clothes we wore around humans. Though she had mastered acting like a human with our lessons, she still felt she wasn't fully in control. This was hard for me to understand, as I had always been able to decide. I guess some would call it stubbornness, but I liked to think of it as determination. Whatever I wanted, I usually got. Aside from Carlisle, I was the only one who had never tasted human blood. I was very proud of this fact and felt certain I could help Bella learn.

We had all summer to push her. I was feeling more confident with every success she had. She had completed every task we set for her with relative ease. I think she even surprised herself with the amount of control she now possessed.

One night, we decided to challenge her further by going to a restaurant. Naturally, we wouldn't be eating but it was still a major milestone for her. To be in such close proximity to humans while also focusing on blending in was a difficult task. We needed to be sure she could handle it before school.

Alice, Bella and I looked like three friends out to dinner. Though I could feel the stares from other patrons, Alice and I focused on our sister. She seemed nervous, but in control. We were talking about plans for the upcoming year and getting excited about the classes we each had chosen when I suddenly heard Bella take in a sharp breath. Thinking there was danger or she was about to lose control, I quickly grabbed her hand.

Alice, being Alice, knew exactly what happened and consoled her.

"Its not him, don't worry. We wouldn't do that to you."

Sometimes, the mental advantages my siblings had got very annoying. I was always playing catch up. Because of this, I had gotten very good at context clues. I followed Bella's gaze and saw a tall man with red hair and a young girl with dark features being seated by the hostess. It clicked together fairly quickly for me that Bella had thought it was Edward. My heart broke for her.

She nodded but pulled into herself for the rest of the meal. When these episodes happened, it was almost as if she turned off a switch. Bella was no longer with us, only a shell of who she was. Every single time it terrified me because I thought back to how she had been all those months after he left. I felt my anger rise.

"That asshole is nowhere near here. We don't even actually need to see him ever again if you don't want to. We love you and are here for you. Please come back to us, Bella," I pleaded.

She slowly brought her eyes to me with the saddest expression I had seen from her in a long time.

"Thanks, Rose. I know you do." She paused. "But what if I want to see him?"

She looked down hastily, sensing my anger.

Alice jumped in, thankfully. I wasn't sure I could play nice.

"What do you mean?"

She took a minute to gather her thoughts.

"Well, I have been thinking a lot. I just feel like I need to know. It kills me that he left. I have no answers, no idea what happened. I think back to that day all the time. It used to be unbearable but now I'm just frustrated. Who does this to a person? I think I need to know…" she trailed off.

It did make sense. I wanted some answers too.

Alice's eyes glazed over as she scanned through this new possibility in her head. Bella's decision had obviously opened some new paths that Alice was just now seeing.

"I can't see what will happen.," she concluded. "I can't see beyond when you two finally are together again. Like some major decision has to happen that is blocking anything from moving forward".

"I don't know if this is a good idea, Bella," I warned.

"Why not?"

"We all saw what he did to you. We all had to help you pick up the pieces and bring you back to life. You just gotten comfortable, good even, at this life. But Bella, you still can't even bring yourself to say his name or hunt. That's a big deal. I don't know if you are ready."

I would protect her at all costs and it honestly hurt me that she would be willing to put herself in that position to get hurt again. I didn't know if I could live through the pain of seeing her in a haze again. I didn't know if our family could survive it.

She seemed to take what I said to heart and leaned over to rest her head on my shoulder. In my peripheral vision, I could see Alice still scanning through her head. She would be busy for a while. I moved to call the server over to get the check. We needed to get out of here and figure this out with the boys. It was going to be a long night.