Past

Chapter Four: Day and Night

It was three o'clock in the afternoon. Daisuke was always a man of routine; at this time, he would always be sitting in the break room, either hosting guests or in absence of guests, sipping on some tea by himself while one of the guards updated him on the current state of the village. If there were no guests, then at four o'clock, Daisuke would retreat to his room to take an afternoon nap.

Promptly, at six o'clock, Daisuke Uchiha would emerge from his room for dinner.

After overhearing two of the guard's gossiping that Fugaku Uchiha's visit to the Feudal Lord had been postponed, Rin knew that Daisuke would be occupied for the next three hours, taking his usual afternoon tea and getting his afternoon nap. It was simply that which convinced her that now was the opportune time to sneak in another visit to the library.

Often, Kurenai came with her to the library and Rin admitted that she felt marginally better having another pair of ears to detect if anyone was coming. However, Kurenai had been feeling a bit under the weather all day and had chosen to lie in bed for the better part of the day, while Rin went off to do their chores and secure their lunch.

When Rin returned to the room after another round of chores, she found Kurenai sleeping on her side, legs curled up to her chest. The blanket had been tossed to the side, laying haphazardly on the floor.

Rin sat down on the floor, reaching to feel Kurenai's temperature. The palm of her hand pressed against the girl's forehead, while her other hand rested on her own forehead. Hot. Kurenai's temperature was definitely warmer than her own. Frowning at the turn of events - Kurenai had been fine this morning, just tired - Rin left the room once more, heading to the supply closet to steal some rags.

She went to the nearest bathroom and ran the rags under the tap water. As she was leaving, she felt the presence of a guard and took another roundabout path to get back to her room simply for the sake of avoiding said guard. By the time Rin made it back to the room, a good fifteen minutes had already passed and Kurenai was in no better shape than when Rin left her.

Kneeling down by the ailing girl, Rin grasped her shoulders gently, rolling Kurenai back onto her backside. Grabbing the blanket, she pulled it over Kurenai's body, tucking the blanket underneath her arms and leaving her feet uncovered. With one of the rags, she folded it up into a neat rectangle, placing it across Kurenai's forehead.

Kurenai hardly stirred throughout the entire process, but continued to mutter incomprehensible nonsense.

"I'm going to make a trip to the library," Rin told her, even though it was likely that Kurenai was too out of it to register anything that she was saying. "I'll be back for dinner."

With that, Rin left the extra rag by her bedside and stood up, brushing the dust off of her pants before leaving the room again. Once confirming that there were no guards around, Rin all but bolted to the library, her safe haven, her solace. Once there, Rin picked up a book on poisons and continued where she left off last time.

After all, she had just enough time to finish it before dinner time.

Reading was her solace. Though she had long accepted that this was the reality that she had to live in, that didn't mean she couldn't escape from the reality for a little bit. Reading helped her to do that, helped her to immerse herself so deeply into the contents of the book that she could momentarily forget where she was.

In the current section that she was reading, it broke down some of the most commonly used plant ingredients found in poison based on regions. As she read, she absorbed all of the information and did her best to formulate an image of the location in her mind.

And what type of environment was she living in? Rin could hardly remember since it had been so long since she had gone outside.

Letting out a long sigh, Rin continued to flip through the pages of the textbook.

Fifty pages later, a brief thought crossed her mind that she should go back to check up on Kurenai before dinner time. With that thought in mind, she resolved to go after she finished reading this particular section.

Her hand froze when she heard the familiar sound of the knob on the door turning. Snapping the book shut, Rin shoved it on one of the nearby shelves, not even bothering to place it in its proper position before darting to the very corner of the library, wedging herself in between the wall and the edge of the bookshelf.

Footsteps entered the room. Rin squeezed her eyes shut, holding her breath and praying that whoever it was would quickly leave. Never in her three years of sneaking around did Rin come close to being caught; she had always been extremely careful, yet she had been reckless this time. Too engrossed to have picked up on the approaching chakra signatures.

Rin worked to suppress her chakra signature as much as she possibly could, just like the books had taught her. In her ears, all she could hear was the sound of her pounding rapidly. Her fingers curled around the bottom of the shirt, the cotton soaking up some of the sweat on her hands.

Oh Kami, oh Kami, please don't notice the misplaced book…!

"Which book were you looking for?" A male's voice, one that she didn't recognize.

"One on sword fighting techniques," came the response. Upon hearing that voice, Rin really wanted to shrivel up and die. Daisuke's voice. If she was caught, she certainly would be dead. At least if it was a guard, then perhaps she could get away with a beating.

But no, definitely not if it was Daisuke.

There were some sounds of rummaging, but with every second that the pair lingered in the library, the more that her heart threatened to pound out of her ribcage.

The sound of a book falling onto the ground made her flinch, but luckily she was able to rein in her reaction a bit so that she didn't knock anything over. Still, it had been a close one as Rin spotted a textbook teetering off the edge of the shelf.

"This book is out of place."

Rin felt her heart stop as she held her breath, hoping that neither of them would suspect anything.

"The servants have been slacking it seems. Find out who is in charge of keeping this place tidy," came Daisuke's orders. It could have been worse, Rin reasoned in the back of her mind, but it still would fall back onto her. But at least, she wasn't likely to get a death sentence that way.

Rin wasn't out of danger yet. Not when she heard footsteps making their way closer to her. Based on her memory of the layout of the library and judging from the volume of the sound, Rin concluded that they were one shelf away from reaching the one where she was hiding. She desperately hoped that they would find the book that they were looking for and leave soon.

Book on sword fighting techniques.

If it was possible, Rin could have died out of shock right there. The very book that they needed was also the same book that she almost knocked over. The same book that was within arms reach. The same book that was barely a foot away from her.

She was screwed.

She racked her mind for all of the ways that she could possibly leave this place undetected, but if the two of them came to her aisle and found that book, there was no way they wouldn't see her. Rin contemplated grabbing the book and slipping it onto the shelf where they were currently browsing, but there was no way that she would get by unnoticed. If she stole the book and hid it, that wouldn't keep them away.

What if she moved the book further down the shelf?

With that in mind, Rin reached over and snatched the book off of the shelf. Worming her way through the backside of the shelf, with just barely enough space for her to fit without scraping against the wall, she slowly made her way to the front end of the shelf. Footsteps could be heard again. A feel for their chakra signatures indicated that they were at the end of the other shelf and were now making their way back to check her row.

A sense of urgency welled in her chest, all of her instincts were screaming at her to hide. Leaving the book on the shelf, at about the halfway point of the shelf, Rin began to scramble back to her hiding spot as quickly as she could, while trying to not trip over her own two feet.

At one point, Rin stumbled but her hand shot out to catch herself against the wall, and she had to stop herself from emitting a strangled cry from her voice as she realized that action had made a sound. She halted her movements altogether, listening for the duo, trying to get a gauge on their current location.

There was nothing but silence.

Then she heard it. The sound of breathing, so close to her ear. Slowly, she craned her head to face the bookshelf, only to make eye contact with Daisuke, who was peering at her through the cracks between the books. Her body jerked backwards, her back hitting the wall, palms pressed flat against the wall, as if putting more distance between her and Daisuke would save her.

The other male, who turned out to be a guard, had rounded the bookshelf and gripped on her arm. Placing so much pressure on her arm that would surely leave bruises, the guard forcibly dragged her out of hiding. Rin hardly bothered to resist, knowing that it would only make it worse for herself if she did.

But what was worse than death?

Torture before death?

The guard pulled her small body in front of him. Raising his left foot, the sole of his shoe connected against her backside, shoving the young girl to her knees. Her head was bowed to the ground, forehead making contact with the wooden floor. Her hands were splayed out on both sides of her.

It was an uncomfortable position to be in, but Rin hardly dared to move, much less breathe.

"Why are you here?"

"I'm in charge of cleaning the library, Uchiha sama," Rin murmured, her voice reverberating against the wood.

"Is that so? Then where are the cleaning supplies?"

"I was rearranging the books on the shelves." Rin had never been more glad for her quick thinking than right then.

"Then why did you hide when you heard us?"

"I was frightened," Rin admitted. "Usually, no one approaches the library so it was unsettling to hear someone come into the room. I acted on instinct and hid."

"And why did you not come out after you were aware that we were only here to find a book and assist us?"

"I did? I tried to move the book closer to the front…"

That had been the wrong thing to say as Rin felt the bottom of the guard's shoe collide with the right side of her face. Her head jerked to the side, slamming against the wooden floor from the impact. Black spots danced around in her vision as she shakily pushed herself back up and resumed her bowing position.

Her head hurt like a bitch, but Rin didn't dare to utter a single indication of her pain.

"How old are you?"

"Thirteen, Uchiha sama."

"Too young for your liking?" Rin knew that wasn't directed at her, but rather at the guard who was standing behind, no doubt ready to strike her again if she went out of bounds.

"I don't believe that you were simply cleaning, servant," Daisuke said. "Take her to the dungeons. See to it that she doesn't get out until after Fugaku's visit."

Rin felt her heart drop. The dungeons. The place that she heard so many rumors about. It was as good as a death sentence, but she didn't have any energy within her to fight back as the guard hauled her to her feet by the collar of her shirt. Jabbing her backside with the hilt of his sword, the guard prodded her forward, guiding her out of the library.

She went through a series of twists and turns that she tried to memorize, but eventually gave up. There was no way that she was going to escape from the dungeons, so there wasn't any point in memorizing the route. Instead she focused on putting one foot in front of the other, trying to resist the urge to cry. She fought to keep her tears at bay, while she silently apologized to Kurenai for not being able to say goodbye.

At least Kurenai was safe. At least she hadn't come with her like she usually did. Rin silently prayed for Kurenai's safety and hoped that the girl would never come looking for her.

When the guard guided her down a set of stairs, a heavy feeling weighed on Rin's heart. That heavy feeling, stemming from the fact that she would most likely never see daylight again.

At the end of their descent, there was a gate, locked with a padlock. Nudging Rin aside, the guard grabbed a key from his belt and twisted the padlock open. The creaky gate swung open and Rin stepped through it without even being prodded.

There was hardly any light in the dungeons, save for a dim light on the wall. Rin continued to step forward into the unknown, taking in comfort from the familiar jabs on her back. At least, she wasn't here all alone.

At some point, the guard stopped her. Rin could make out the outline of metal bars. The jingling of keys informed her that there was another lock. A warm hand gripped on her arm, pulling her forward before she felt a hand push her back, shoving her into the darkness. Rin let out a noise as she crashed face first into the concrete ground, scraping her knees and palms against the concrete.

The loud slam of the metal door closing on her echoed throughout the dungeon.

Rin scrambled to her feet and reached the front of her cell, her scratched palms wrapping themselves around the cool metal bars. In the dim lighting, she could see that the guard was leaving, going back the way that they had come from. Rin wanted to yell at him, to beg him to not leave, but even on the brink of death, Rin wanted to retain a single shred of dignity.

Tears sliding down her cheeks, Rin released her grip on the metal bars and sank down on the floor. Pressing her back against the wall, she retracted her legs, wrapping her arms around them and burying her face into her knees.

No one could see her crying in the dark anyways.

The logical side of her brain told her that crying was only going to dehydrate her and make her die faster, but Rin didn't care. After all of the shit she had been through, she deserved to have a breakdown.

Sobs wracked her body, before slowly ebbing away into hiccups and sniffles. At some point, she fell asleep, only to be jerked away by every little sound including the sound of water dripping from somewhere and the sound of a creature scurrying across the floor. Rin suspected it was a rat, but what she couldn't see, she couldn't be afraid of.

Rin promptly fell back to sleep.

The days began to bleed together. Without being able to see the sunlight, Rin wasn't sure when it was day or when it was night. It was hard to tell how much time had passed; for all she knew, she could have slept for many hours or for ten minutes. The only constant in her life was the food and water delivery, once a day. Or at least, what she assumed was once a day.

It was hardly enough to fill her up, but at least it helped to mitigate some of her hunger. The amount of water was only enough to keep her alive, but her mouth constantly still felt dry, her throat felt scratchy and her voice sounded hoarse when she tried speaking. Rin was hyper aware that it was most likely Daisuke's plan, to keep her alive so that he could torture her even more by stringing her along, but Rin couldn't resist the temptation. Not when food and water were sitting at the front of her cell, within reach.

At some point, Rin became convinced that she was hearing things. There were two voices in her head, one telling her to escape, while the other countered that she couldn't. The two voices continued to squabble back and forth, increasing in intensity until they broke out into a shouting match.

It was grating on Rin's nerves and she just wanted both of them to go away. Her hands clutched the sides of her head, attempting to shake out the voices, but to no avail. At one point, Rin had even taken to banging her head against the concrete, but that had done nothing except causing her forehead to bleed. It wasn't until Rin screamed out her frustration with her parched throat did it finally cease.

It was silent once more. Rin healed the wound on her forehead and went back to sleep.

It was a blur of red and white on every one of their backs. She always noted that the coloring was a stark contrast compared to the various shades of black, gray, and navy blue that the Uchiha clan often wore. To them, the Uchiwa fan was a symbol of pride. A symbol of their loyalty. A symbol of their identity.

To her, it was a symbol of her greatest nightmare.

It didn't matter where she went. Every corner she turned, there would be a giant Uchiwa fan painted on the walls of the castle. Every road she walked, there would be Uchiwa fans present on the flaps of each of the vendor stalls. Everyone she saw either had a Uchiwa fan on the back of their shirts or present on the armband that they wore on their sleeves.

It was everywhere. There was nowhere she could run or hide to avoid it. The only comfort she received was associated with nightfall, where the Uchihas were off to bed, where it was too dark for her to see the symbol glaring back at her. Too bad the symbol was burned into her mind and came to haunt her every time she closed her eyes.

Such a symbol she had learned to associate with power. Authority. Fear.

Even when her eyes snapped open in the pitch black darkness, she could practically see the Uchiha symbol burned into the wall across from her. Everywhere she looked, there would be a Uchiwa fan there. Even on each individual metal bar, all five of them.

She was convinced that she was slowly going insane. Or was she already?

Her eyes slid open when she heard footsteps approaching her cell. Her delivery had already come, so Rin had no doubt whoever it was, was here to toy with her. Or maybe to finally kill her for once and all. Yet she made no move to get up. Instead, she continued to lifelessly lay on the ground as she spotted a beam of light emitting from the flashlight. Her glassy eyes barely glanced up to take in the newcomer's appearance.

Rin wished she could say that she didn't feel an ounce of pain as the guards had their fun in torturing her, but she felt every hit. The guards had taken to kicking her around the cell like a ragdoll and all she could do was curl up and wrap her arms around her head in an attempt to protect it. Their laughter grated on her nerves, but her annoyance quickly fleeted as the next kick came.

She was only half awake when one of the guards lifted her off of the floor by the collar of her shirt, propping her upwards by hooking his arms underneath her armpits. As far as she could tell through her bleary vision and dazed mind, the different guards took turns treating her like a punching bag, like they had some personal vendetta against her.

Rin could finally understand what it meant to have the living daylights punched out of her. She blacked out in the middle of it, so she wasn't aware of what came afterwards.

All she knew when she came to was that her body was hurting all over and she had been bleeding in a couple places. It had taken entirely too much effort to begin channelling a bit of medical ninjutsu, starting from her hands and working up to her arms, then her torso, and down her legs. She ran out of chakra in the middle of healing and was knocked out once more. When she came to her senses again, she continued the healing process.

In her current state of health, her chakra reserves were abysmal. Rin wasn't sure how many times she had passed out in the middle of healing, but at least she finally finished healing her entire body. At least it gave her something to do, even if she hated feeling like she had been stomped all over by a horse.

To be honest, she might have preferred that to mercilessly beating by the guards.

She was completely healed only for them to come and beat her all over again.

The cycle continued. Rin wasn't sure how many days elapsed in between each of the guard's visits, but she would take advantage of the time interval to heal herself. After their latest visit, Rin didn't even bother to heal herself.

She laid there, letting her wounds slowly bleed out, letting her body ache with every movement, letting herself feel a stabbing pain each time she accidentally irritated her broken rib. She could heal it, make the pain go away, but what was the point? What was the point when she would hurt all over again?

When she closed her eyes, she witnessed her worst nightmare. When her eyes were opened, she lived in her nightmare. It was a never ending cycle, haunting her everywhere.

Most of her thoughts were incomprehensible, full of nonsense. Yet there was one that rang loud and clear.

She wanted to die.

A/N: Hi again!

Sorry for the cliffhanger, but I think you'll find that cliffhangers will reoccur throughout this story (somewhat). The good news is that you know what happens in the present, so you know she's not dead haha.

There's quite a bit of OCs in this story, so much that I ended up making a character bio for them because sometimes I forgot what their names were too lol. At some point, I can definitely make a list to refresh your memory, but most of them are inconsequential and exist for the sake of the plot.

Anyways, no worries! This story will be finished. I have a habit of abandoning stories so I typically write 2/3 (if not more) of the story before I even think about posting cause at that point I know I won't abandon. :) Hence also the reason I can do weekly updates since I'm not that impressive to write that much in one week. :P

Thanks for reading! Until next time!

-MM