Present

Chapter Six: Moral Dilemma

Perhaps in an alternate universe, Kakashi would have liked to believe that his father's name would have been etched on the Senju's equivalent of the memorial stone. Too bad he wasn't living in the other universe.

His father's name wasn't etched on this memorial stone, or any memorial stone, but Kakashi liked to imagine that his father's name was there, located at the end of the list in the fifth column. Four more columns trailed after. In total, the names hardly occupied half of the space on the stone slab.

Just another reminder of how many more names, that didn't belong, could fit on the memorial stone. They belonged in this universe, not merely reduced to a pile of ashes and a name on a stone.

But this was war.

Even though there wasn't a trace of his father's presence anywhere on the Uchiha territory, Kakashi always found the memorial stone to be a good place to speak to his father in absence of access to his actual grave. There wouldn't be any sign from nature that his father had heard him, unlike when Kakashi last visited his grave site, but the memorial stone served to help calm him, clearing his mind of any inner turmoil.

Since arriving at the memorial stone, Kakashi felt a fraction of the heavy weight on his heart lighten.

For the entire hour before he was supposed to leave for his mission, Kakashi simply stood there. Eyes glued to the memorial stone, slowly reading all of the names once, before he allowed himself to stare at the spot where he imagined his father's name to be. Recollections of the conversation with Itachi floated to his mind, but Kakashi shoved those to the back of his mind.

When his troubles and frustrations emerged from the depths of his memories, Kakashi filtered them away, until he was left with an empty mind. A clear mind. A peaceful mind. A natural state that even he couldn't achieve in his sleep, not with his worries plaguing his dreams.

Kakashi wished it could stay like this forever.

The sun was up. Kakashi lazily opened his eyes, holding a hand in front to shield his eyes from the morning rays. With one last glance at the memorial stone, Kakashi turned to leave.

In his haste to arrive at the village gates, Kakashi ended up making it there five minutes earlier than anticipated. He was greeted with an empty site, devoid of any human life except for the guards that hid in the trees outside of the gates. Glancing up at the sky, Kakashi gauged the sun's position and concluded that the medic wasn't late yet. He would wait, but if the medic was late, then he would leave.

Kakashi didn't tolerate tardiness from anyone other than Obito.

Leaning against the wall next to the entrance, Kakashi crossed his arms before tipping his head downwards, closing his eyes. While to anyone who passed by, he might have seemed relaxed, but in reality, he had his senses honed to alert him of changes.

He could feel the steady hum of four different chakra signatures outside of the gates. Two of them were closer to the entrance, while the other two seemed to be at least ten meters further out. A fifth chakra signature appeared, moving rapidly towards the entrance. Kakashi tracked that chakra signature, noting that the fifth person had made contact with the fourth. Judging from the lack of chakra spike, he concluded that the fifth person was a comrade.

Kakashi's eyes snapped open just as the fifth chakra signature emerged from the trees, landing deftly on his feet at the front gates. Walking past him, Kakashi honed in on the red and white symbol stitched at the back of his shirt.

He tipped his head upward, glancing at the sun once more.

Five more minutes.

With the tip of his sandal, he scuffed at the dirt beneath him, absently writing the kanji for "peace" over and over again. His foot paused, halfway through tracing the kanji for the sixth time when he felt a sixth chakra signature.

A familiar chakra signature.

His eyes squinted as he tried to make the figure that was running towards him, but he couldn't see much beyond the silhouette due to the glare of the sun. The figure slowed to a walk as she neared the gates.

Rin.

An unsettling feeling washed over him.

"Sorry I'm late!" Rin fervently apologized once she was within earshot. Stopping right in front of him, Kakashi watched as she slightly keeled over, breathing heavily to catch her breath. Her entire face was flushed red, stray pieces of brown hair sticking to the side of her face.

"You're the medic that's supposed to go with me?"

Rin nodded. "It was supposed to be someone else, but she asked me to go instead. You don't mind, do you?"

An uncomfortable feeling crawled up his spine when he saw that Rin was peering curiously at him.

"Doesn't matter to me. You have everything? The mission scroll?"

Rin nodded, shifting the backpack on her shoulders. Kakashi frowned.

"What are you bringing in that backpack?"

"First aid kit just in case, some food and water, and a lot of storage scrolls."

Kakashi didn't know why, but he felt the urge to laugh at her naivety. Perhaps it had been too long since he had been in the presence of a newbie, that he would find rookie mistakes to be amusing rather than irritating.

His right hand reached into his weapons pouch, rummaging around until his fingers touched the scroll. He pulled it out, laying it in the palm of his hand.

"You know it's a storage scroll, right? You can seal all of the scrolls inside one another."

The bottom of her lip jutted upwards. "I knew that. I just…"

Rin didn't bother to finish the end of her sentence and Kakashi didn't press her any further. Instead he busied himself with untying the kunai holster around his right leg, tugging it free before handing it to Rin.

"We shouldn't meet any trouble along the way, but just in case, you should have some weapons so you can defend yourself. You know how to use a kunai, right?"

Rin stared at the kunai holster for a few moments, before she hesitantly accepted the holster. "If you give me this, then what about you?"

Kakashi shrugged, jutting his head towards the sword strapped on his back. "I'll be fine. Give me your backpack."

Rin lifted her head up, having just finished tying the holster to her leg. While wearing a confused look on her face, Rin did as he asked, shrugging the backpack off of her shoulders before handing it over to him. Kakashi swung it over his shoulders, slightly surprised as it was a bit heavier than he had expected.

"You don't have to bother; I can carry it myself," Rin insisted. Kakashi shot her a skeptical look.

"Sure you can. We have a three hour run before we get to Oto; I don't need you to tire out before then."

With that, Kakashi took off towards the trees. Rin followed. He toned down his pace in the beginning so that Rin wouldn't lag behind, but began to speed up when he felt that she had gotten used to tree hopping.

A blur of green and brown surrounded him. The forest remained relatively quiet save for the sound of the feet making contact with each branch. The travel was so mind numbing that Kakashi could have done it with his eyes closed, so he allowed himself to get lost in his own thoughts.

To sort out the thoughts that had been nagging at him from the moment he realized Rin was the one going on the mission with him. Of all the people, why was it her? A coincidence? Did the reason even matter?

In all of the plans that Kakashi created, killing her on a mission hadn't been one of them, but his other plans were half assed and hardly feasible to begin with. Logically, the mission was the perfect time: they were alone, she was practically defenseless, and no one would notice her missing until tomorrow.

Most importantly, Rin trusted him enough that she was at ease. Her guard was let down. She wouldn't expect it if he suddenly turned around, with a Chidori fired up in his right hand. All he would need was the courage to ram it straight through her heart. Five seconds, that was all it would take.

The Uchiha's most skilled medic would be dead. The Senjus would gain the upper hand. Maybe the war would end sooner.

His fingers twitched.

If he killed her today, someone would notice her missing by tomorrow. Even if he got rid of the body, they would suspect that she was dead. The person who passed her the mission would know that Rin had gone on this mission. They could easily piece together that Kakashi had gone on this mission with her.

He would turn into the biggest suspect.

Either he would have to leave or feign ignorance. If he left, the Senjus would lose an important source of information. As far as he knew, among the spies, he had the highest ranking; therefore, the most valuable information. If he stayed and feigned ignorance, what was the likelihood that they would believe him? Even with all of his feats as a shinobi, he still remained an easy scapegoat without the backbone of an entire clan. Not to mention, Itachi already seemed to be suspicious of him.

Kakashi shook his head. No, no he couldn't kill her just yet. It would be better to wait; he needed Minato sensei's guidance.

Or that was what he convinced himself when he didn't make a move, despite the numerous occasions when her defenses were down.

"You shouldn't let your guard down on a mission." Kakashi wasn't sure what possessed him to make those words come out of his mouth. Rin emitted a noise from the back of her throat, proving that she was just as confused as he was. But since he already started it, Kakashi continued.

"If an enemy were to attack us, you would be dead before you can react. Stay on your guard at all times, even when you think it's safe." Kakashi couldn't see Rin's face, but if he could, he was willing to bet that there was a confused frown on her face.

"This is my first mission," Rin uttered quietly. "So I don't really know the protocol."

"Ever?" Kakashi was in complete disbelief; he figured that she would have been sent to the outposts at some point before he remembered that Obito had once mentioned that she was needed at the hospital.

Rin hummed in confirmation. "I haven't been outside of the village much. They keep me at the hospital."

"Would you rather be at the outposts instead?"

"I don't know. I just feel that I can save more lives if I am out on the field. The time that it takes for someone to get brought back to the village, they're either dead or too far gone to be saved."

"If you don't have field training, it'll be dangerous to go to the outposts. A lot of medics have died in ambushes or if they're out on the field."

Rin stayed quiet for a few moments. "I have been training."

So she wasn't completely defenseless.

When Kakashi turned to look over his shoulder, he noted that Rin was starting to lag behind a bit. He slowed down his pace, allowing her to catch up to him while he searched for a place to stop. Just a bit further ahead, his ears picked up the sound of flowing water. Veering off to the left, Kakashi hopped down from the trees, settling near the river.

"We'll take a break," Kakashi announced, plopping down on the grass. Pulling the backpack off of his shoulders, he unzipped it, rummaged through the contents before his fingers touched the metal flask. Retrieving the item, he tossed it to Rin.

"We don't have to. I can keep going."

Kakashi could hardly take her seriously when Rin was chugging at least half of the water in the container in under half a minute.

"Know your limits. That's the first step to being a shinobi."

Rin rolled her eyes. "Yeah, like any of you listen to avoid strenuous activity after you get discharged from the hospital."

Rin plopped down next to him, crossing her legs. Kakashi tipped his head backwards, taking a large sip from his flask.

"I've been injured enough times to know my limit. As much as I love training, I wouldn't overdo it to the point where I end in the hospital again."

"Maybe you don't, but there's plenty of shinobis who end up there because they don't listen."

Kakashi scoffed. "They're idiots then. Why anyone would voluntarily put themselves in that place is beyond me." Even just thinking about the hospital made him shudder.

"The hospital isn't that bad…" The lack of conviction in her statement only solidified Kakashi's point.

A few moments of silence lapsed between them. Kakashi took two more sips before he screwed the cap back on his flask.

"Eh, Kakashi san, can I ask you a question?"

"Just Kakashi is fine."

Rin nodded, swallowing thickly. "You're not from a clan, right? I'm just curious because I know most of the smaller clans are allied with the Senjus so it's strange that there's someone else like me, much less someone of such high rank."

"Yes. It's a long story, but to put it simply, my family was allied with the Senjus once. They betrayed us, so I left."

"Oh." Rin looked disappointed. "I always thought that the Senjus were nicer. Less strict."

"Why would you think that? You're working for the Uchihas."

"I know, but that's because as far as I remember, I have been with the Uchihas. I guess I wonder what it would be like if I were on the Senju side instead."

Upon seeing Kakashi's skeptical look, Rin began to backtrack. "Not to say that I would betray the Uchihas because I won't. It's just I'm curious what life is like in other places. The books that I read describe all these different landscapes and I just wish that I could see them in person."

"Even when you were younger you never left the village?"

Rin frowned. "I don't really know. My memories of when I was young are kind of hazy."

Hazy? Kakashi wasn't sure what to think of it since he still remembered his childhood with clarity. However, it could be chalked up to the trauma associated with it.

"That's why I've been trying to train. Hopefully, I'll be able to go on more missions then."

"Self taught?"

Rin nodded. "Obito taught me some things too, but he's been away. He was the one who taught me how to throw a kunai and shuriken. I've been reading some theories on ninjutsu and genjutsu. Also been working on my taijutsu but it's hard to improve when I don't have someone to spar with."

"You know how to make a shadow clone?" Rin nodded. "You can spar with your clone if you can't find anyone else."

"I know, but my clone is only as good as I am, so I can't really improve unless I fight against someone stronger than I am."

"I'll train with you." The words left Kakashi's mouth before his brain even had the chance to process what he was offering. His lips parted, on the verge to amend his previous statement, but the words remained lodged in the back of his throat when he saw the hope and joy shimmering in her eyes.

"Really?"

Kakashi forced himself to nod.

A huge smile stretched across her face. "I promise that I'll work really hard!"

"We should get going." Without waiting for Rin's response, Kakashi took off towards the trees. The entire time, he mentally berated himself.

What was wrong with him?

Kakashi was supposed to kill her, not teach her how to defend herself. A small voice in the back of his mind argued that it was an opportunity for him to get closer to her.

Earn her trust and she'll let down her guard around you, the voice argued.

That sounded perfect in theory, but Kakashi was afraid.

Afraid that he would get attached.

Oto was a small village located three hours south of their border. Located at the heart of the Land of the Grass, Kakashi would have assumed that Oto would be a farming village, taking advantage of its grassy terrain and plentiful rain.

Kakashi was wrong.

Oto seemed to be more like a shinobi village.

The first sign had been when two shinobis met them at the village gates, demanding to know their business in the village. After handing over their mission scrolls, the two guards checked the contents, then eyed them intently as if trying to peer into their soul, before they allowed them into the village.

They tried to be discreet, but Kakashi picked up the faint hum of their chakra signatures as they tailed them through the village. Tugging on Rin's sleeve, Kakashi pulled her closer to him, positioning her so that she was walking slightly in front of him. A look of confusion morphed on her features, but she didn't ask.

He could feel dozens of chakra signatures buzzing around him, far too developed to belong to a civilian.

A shinobi town with an alliance with the Uchihas to the extent of only supply trading? Perhaps they didn't want to get involved in the fighting or...perhaps they were the Uchiha's trump card. A shinobi force that the Senjus wouldn't be expecting.

Kakashi needed to inform Minato sensei.

When the two of them reached the entrance to a cave, a teenage boy stepped in front of the entrance, arms splayed outwards.

His eyes narrowed. "What's your business here?"

Kakashi grabbed the mission scroll from his weapons pouch, tossing it to the silver haired boy. The boy caught it, eyes skimming through its contents. Once he had finished, the boy's hand moved to push the bridge of his glasses upwards.

"Follow me. I'll take you to Orochimaru sama."

Orochimaru…that was a familiar name. If his memory served to be correct, then Orochimaru was one of three legendary shinobis, earning his fame from a display of his prowess on the battlefield in one of the previous wars. That had been when he was still loyal to the Senjus. No one really knew what had happened to him in the recent decade, but Kakashi hadn't expected to see him here.

Now working for the other side.

Kakashi was vaguely aware that the boy was leading them on a long, roundabout path to meet Orochimaru, but he didn't comment on it. Instead, he pretended to be completely oblivious as he followed him, passing by the same door for the third time. Although the entire structure of the layout was mirrors of itself, Kakashi knew. There was a nick on the door, in the upper right corner. Barely noticeable.

The end of the third loop led them to a plain looking door, a carbon copy of all of the others that they had passed. The boy knocked twice.

"Guests from the Uchihas are here to retrieve the supplies, Orochimaru sama."

The door swung open, revealing a pale man with long, dark hair with piercing, yellow eyes. He looked eerily...like a snake.

"Kabuto, take the medic to get the medical supplies. The other, come with me."

Separating wasn't in the plans, but Kakashi could do nothing more than watch as Rin followed Kabuto down a separate hallway, the shadows obscuring their presence. He followed Orochimaru, who had proceeded to walk in the opposite direction.

The entire trip was silent. Orochimaru continued to speed up his pace, almost like he was in a hurry to finish. They stopped in front of another plain looking door. Orochimaru grasped the handle, pushing down on it before he swung the door open.

His yellow eyes slid to meet Kakashi's gaze. A sinister smile formed on his face, tongue extending outward to lick his bottom lip.

"Please." Orochimaru bowed slightly, a finger pointing in the direction of the room. Kakashi walked inside, feeling a chill wrack his body as he passed by Orochimaru. Goosebumps formed all along the length of his arm.

"This should be everything. Twenty minutes and I'll come get you."

The door slammed loudly behind him.

Kakashi moved to grab his storage scroll when his fingers brushed against the bottom of Rin's backpack. Rin's backpack. All of her storage scrolls were with him.

Using a kunai, Kakashi nicked the pad of his thumb before he performed the hand sequence, then slammed his hand on the ground. When the smoke cleared, a small pug was sitting in front of him, eyes drooping. Kakashi pulled the backpack off of his shoulders.

"Oi Kakashi." Pakkun dipped his head, sniffing at the backpack.

"Who's the girl?"

"Partner for the mission. I forgot to return her scroll. Can you track her scent and find her?"

Pakkun nodded, opening his mouth to accept the scroll. His teeth clamped down on the scroll, tail wagging as he bounded towards the door. Kakashi opened the door; Pakkun slipped through the crack and disappeared down the hall.

Unzipping Rin's backpack, Kakashi went to work.

Surprisingly, Kabuto knew a lot more medical knowledge than she had expected. Along the way, Kabuto roped her into a conversation, impressing her with his display of knowledge. Yet Rin found it unsettling that most of Kabuto's inquiries centered around the shut down of a human body. It almost seemed like he was fishing for information on more ways to kill someone.

Maybe he could tell that she was uncomfortable with that particular topic or he had exhausted all of his questions, Kabuto switched to a different topic: poison. It had seemed normal enough, until Rin noticed a glint of interest in his eyes as she described one of the nastiest poisons she had encountered, including foaming at the mouth and the corrosion of all of their internal organs.

Kabuto didn't look much older than sixteen. Why was he so fascinated with death?

Rin didn't want to know.

A wave of relief washed through her when Kabuto finally announced that they had arrived. In the corner of the room, crates of medical supplies were stacked against each other. Rin thanked him for his assistance, hand reaching behind her and grasped air. Eyes wide, Rin glanced over her shoulder.

Her backpack wasn't with her. She had forgotten to get it back from Kakashi.

"Kabuto san, I need to go back. Kakashi has my backpack."

Kabuto frowned. "Well I'm afraid I don't know where Orochimaru sama took him."

Rin sidestepped around Kabuto, stepping outside of the room and ready to take off back in the direction where they had come from when she saw a small pug bounding towards her. The pug stopped at the tip of her feet, mouth opening to deposit a scroll.

"You're Kakashi's teammate, right? He wanted me to deliver this scroll to you."

Rin nodded her thanks, bending down to grab the scroll, still completely in awe that the dog could speak. She was aware that shinobis often had talking summons, but she had never seen one in person. It was so fascinating.

"I see that you got what you needed," Kabuto commented. "Now if you don't mind, I will be working on an experiment while you check the supplies."

Rin nodded, heading to the corner of the room with the dog at her heels. The two of them worked in silence.

Kakashi's summon was content in lying on top of one of the crates, eyes sweeping her every move. Rin hated to admit that she was bothered by a summon, but she wished that the dog would stop looking at her.

Her wish was granted when the summon lost interest in her and decided to observe Kabuto instead.

Kabuto took her back to where she had parted ways with Kakashi once she was finished. The summon had been too lazy to walk on his own and decided to rest on her shoulder on the trip back, but once he spotted Kakashi, he immediately jumped down and moved to his owner's side.

"Tell Itachi that I expect him to fulfill the deal on his end," Orochimaru ordered, directing the statement at Kakashi. He nodded.

Orochimaru's eyes slid onto her. His hand slipped into his pocket, pulling out two vials, one containing liquid of a brownish color, with a purple hue. The other was a yellowish liquid. He handed the vials over to her and Rin accepted them.

"Poison?" Rin questioned.

Orochimaru smirked. "You have a sharp mind. An offering in the hopes that our alliance can continue in the future. If you can figure out the components of the poison, you'll be able to use it against the Senjus. It will certainly catch them off guard."

It would certainly catch them off guard as the components weren't ones that Rin was used to using. The problem was that they didn't even have the components to create the poison in the first place and Orochimaru knew it.

Rin didn't mention it. Instead, she thanked him for the gift.

Kabuto escorted them all the way to the village gates and stood there to watch them leave. She felt infinitely better when she could no longer feel the weight of Kabuto's stare on her back.

"Didn't you find them strange?"

"Orochimaru has always been an eccentric figure," was Kakashi's response.

Rin frowned. "Yeah but why did he give me this poison? I'm almost positive one of the components is snake venom, which we don't have. Only they would have that kind of venom…"

Rin paused as a fleeting thought came to mind. Kakashi glanced over at her.

"You figured it out?"

"Orochimaru...he wants the alliance to be more than just supply trading? Maybe he wants to be involved in the war?"

"Ah. Or he wants the Uchihas to be more dependent upon him, so he has more bargaining power over him. That's not our problem; I'll mention it to Itachi san and see what he says."

Rin didn't know much about this Orochimaru character, but even she had gotten terrible vibes from him. She could almost imagine how uncomfortable she would feel if she had to work with him or Kabuto or any of them.

All of those thoughts were shoved to the back of her mind as Kakashi began to lecture her on the importance of being aware of her surroundings during a mission.

A/N: Hi again!

Fun fact: the mission to Oto wasn't planned in the original draft, but I figured since I gave cameos to Jiraiya and Tsunade, the third of their trio deserves some screentime too lol. And it kind of turned into an important subplot for the future. :)

Also, sorry that I had to do it: reference how Rin died in canon lol. To be clear, Kakashi doesn't have the Sharingan so he can't effectively use Chidori but he figured that Rin is pretty unaware anyways so he could get away with using his signature jutsu.

Next 2 chapters will be Kakashi's backstory, the beginning of how Kakashi ended up with the Uchihas. Hope you'll enjoy it.

Thank you for reading! Until next time.

-MM