Past

Chapter Six: Simmering Resentment

The tingling excitement that lingered in the vicinity of their camp brought a sense of contentment that Sakumo Hatake hadn't felt for a long time.

Victory was on the horizon. And every shinobi knew it too.

Three months of slow, but steady advances beginning from no man's land to steadily encroaching on the Uchiha territory. For all the territory that they lost, they would regain it twofold, thanks to Shikaku's brilliant tactical mind.

Checkmate on Kyoshi Pass, the Uchiha's most fortified outpost. Overtaking the pass would give the Senjus access to the Uchiha's critical supply lines and cut off access for reinforcements to head out to the outposts located on the outer edges of the Uchiha territory. Kyoshi Pass, that was their key to victory and finally end the war for once and for all.

While the rest of the camp celebrated their impending victory, substituting alcohol with canteens of water, Sakumo gazed blissfully at the scene. When the shinobi in the camp began to holler out the things that they were looking forward to doing when they finally went home, Sakumo didn't say anything aloud. Yet his heart knew exactly what he wanted to do.

Spend more time with Kakashi.

Jiraiya plopped down on the grass next to him, handing him a canteen full of water. Sakumo accepted the canteen with a nod of thanks, sloshing the water around the edges of the container before tipping his head back and taking a large gulp.

"What are you doing here brooding by yourself?" Jiraiya questioned.

"Not brooding," Sakumo corrected. "Just thinking."

Jiraiya nodded in understanding. "About the ambush later tonight? Don't worry about it, the Nara may seem lazy but his strategy is practically foolproof. Take it from a war hawk like me."

Sakumo pressed his lips together, suppressing a laugh. "You make yourself sound so old. You're not that much older than me."

"You're the one that's old," Jiraiya argued. "Having a kid sucks all of the youth out of you."

Sakumo openly laughed, donning a wistful expression. "Yeah, but I wouldn't trade Kakashi for anything else in the world."

"How long has it been since you've seen him?"

"Three months or so." One glance at Sakumo's face told it all, Jiraiya could see the longing in his friend's eyes. His sense of duty was what kept him grounded here.

"Don't worry, he's in good hands," Jiraiya said, in an attempt to placate him. "If Minato doesn't take good care of him, you can always sic Kushina on him." It was Jiraiya who burst out laughing at his own suggestion, much to Sakumo's amusement.

Sakumo's eyes flickered to the setting sun, already so low that it was no longer visible, except for the last rays of sunlight it was emitting.

"Come on," Sakumo said, standing up. Jiraiya quickly sobered up when his tone became serious. "It's time to get ready."

Darkness swallowed them from all sides. Distinctly, Sakumo was aware the rest of the team that made up the ambush team was hiding several meters behind him, awaiting his signal. He crept forward, his eyes fixated on the flickering tail end of the campfire in the distance.

There was no one in sight, but Sakumo wasn't one to take chances. After all, this was unknown territory; their intelligence had no idea of the scope of the Uchiha surveillance.

Sakumo held a hand up, motioning for his team to wait. He continued forward, masking the sound of his footsteps with the persistent buzzing noise that emitted through the silence.

A rustling noise off to the right caught his attention. Immediately pressing his back against the nearest tree, Sakumo quickly masked his chakra, while his head stretched outwards, trying to get a glimpse at the newcomer.

In the darkness, Sakumo could see nothing.

His fingers still brushed the hilt of his tanto as Sakumo continued to glance around for any sign of life. Perhaps he had been paranoid and it had been a stray animal.

Right as he was about to relax his guard, Sakumo detected a flare of chakra to his left. Pulling out his tanto from its sheath at lightning speed, Sakumo had the tip of the blade jammed under the intruder's throat. The person halted, hands falling limply to his sides. The moonlight gleamed against the shiny metal of the intruder's own tanto.

Sakumo's gaze slid upwards to the person's face.

A boy, who couldn't have been any older than Kakashi, donning features that were typical of the Uchiha clan. The blade dug into his skin, nicking the skin. A trickle of blood streamed down the boy's throat, disappearing into the collar of his shirt.

Sakumo simply stared at the boy, his features illuminated in the moonlight. The cheek fat that the boy hadn't a chance to lose, the startling absence of an Adam's apple at his throat, the tainting innocence that shone in his black eyes.

He wasn't much older than Kakashi.

Sakumo's resolve wavered. An image of Kakashi flashed through his mind. An image of Kakashi, being sent on a simple supplies delivery mission. A supposedly safe mission for shinobis of his age. Of him, running into enemy shinobi and being held at blade point. Of the enemy shinobi, ruthlessly slicing his throat. Of Kakashi's limp and bloodied body as he collapses onto the ground. Of his body, to never be returned.

The boy was someone's son too. Someone would weep for him, weep for another young life lost.

But this was war.

The boy made up Sakumo's mind for him. His moment of hesitation had been enough for the boy to react. Swinging his tanto upwards while he backed up, his tanto came up just in time to block Sakumo's tanto. By the time Sakumo had gathered his wits to react to the sudden move, the boy had already hastily retreated, flickering out of sight.

Teleportation…

Sakumo ears picked up on footsteps against the soft grass. Out of the corner of his eye, he spotted the outline of Arata's familiar silhouette.

"I felt a burst of chakra," Arata whispered frantically. "What happened?"

Sakumo was grateful that Arata wouldn't be able to see the guilt written all over his face in the darkness. "A scout. He got away."

"He got away?" Arata hissed. "Why didn't you kill him?"

In all honesty, Sakumo didn't have a good enough explanation for him. "We should retreat."

"What? No," Arata insisted. His expression hardened. "The plan will continue."

"The Uchiha is aware of our presence," Sakumo shot back. "We will lose the element of surprise for an ambush. If we go charging in there right now, we'll die!"

Jiraiya had said Shikaku's plan was practically foolproof, yet Sakumo was sure that Shikaku hadn't planned for Sakumo to mess up and allow a scout to get away.

"This is our chance to end the damned war. If you won't make the call, then I will!" Arata didn't even wait to hear Sakumo's response. He stormed back to where the rest of the team was waiting.

While Sakumo fumbled around in his weapons pouch to send a signal to Jiraiya to stop the plan, it was too late. He felt his heart drop when he saw the flare go into the night sky, the agreed upon signal for the plan to commence. It felt like he was watching in slow motion as he watched Arata give the signal, two fingers pointing towards the direction of the camp, to proceed.

His entire team poured out from the bushes, leaping across the grass towards the Uchiha outpost. Sakumo wanted to yell at them to stand back, but he found the words were stuck in the back of his throat.

Holding his blade firmly in his right hand, Sakumo darted out from his hiding position, running to catch up to the rest of his team.

His entire being was filled with dread as he registered a group of Uchihas, waiting for them. By the time that Arata had given the command to halt, it had been too late. The Uchiha finished the last seal to their trademark technique, the fireball jutsu.

Sakumo ducked out of the way, grabbing two of his comrades by the collar of their shirt along with him. Beads of sweat formed all along his forehead from the intensity of the heat. The three of them tumbled into the grass, but Sakumo was on his feet a second later, tanto raised to block the kunai from the enemy Uchiha.

The redness of the Sharingan pierced the darkness, its tomoe spinning relentlessly as Sakumo continued to exchange blows with him.

By the time Sakumo had killed the fifth enemy shinobi, his eyes briefly flickered around the battlefield, surveying the damage. They had lost just as many shinobis as they did, if not more. Sakumo was forced to jerk his eyes away as a sixth enemy shinobi found him and engaged in battle.

Sakumo was forced to back up, even at some point almost tripping over a body, but he saved himself by ducking to the side at the last minute, rolling on the grass before picking himself back up. Sending a fireball jutsu in the enemy's direction, Sakumo tore off across the field, ready to dive in to help his surrounded comrades.

Out of the corner of his eye, Sakumo spotted the boy. He stood still; his black eyes fixated on the body that laid at his feet. A lone tear slid down his cheek, followed by multiple drops. His black eyes bled red, the three tomoes spinning rapidly, forming into a pinwheel pattern, in the shape of a shuriken.

The boy looked up, staring right at Sakumo.

In the next second, the boy had tore his eyes away from Sakumo, teleported a few meters across the battlefield and jammed his tanto into the backside of one of Sakumo's unsuspecting comrades. Blood spilt on his hands. The boy hardly batted an eye as he yanked the tanto out of the man's torso, letting him fall to his feet.

Sakumo had made a grave mistake.

He wasn't a boy. He was a soldier.

The ambush had failed.

Kakashi was ten years old, but he wasn't a fool. When he had gotten back from a week long supply delivery mission, he had taken towards the rooftops to Hiruzen sama's office. It was when his feet touched down at the front door did Kakashi notice something was wrong.

It first started with the guard at the front door, exchanging glances with the other. When Kakashi attempted to make eye contact, the first guard quickly averted his gaze.

On his way to the office, Kakashi passed by two older shinobis. Although he didn't recognize them, he gave them a nod out of courtesy. The female returned the greeting although there was hesitation in her movements, while her male companion pretended to not see him. Once they were further away, Kakashi at the front of Hiruzen's office and the two shinobis at the end of the hall, he could hear their whispers.

The pair exited the building before Kakashi was able to make out a single word.

Two knocks on the door, permission was granted to enter the room. Kakashi bowed in respect, before he left his mission report on Hiruzen's desk. The entire encounter proceeded as normal, except for the pensive look on Hiruzen's face.

Kakashi felt like it wasn't his place to pry and quietly left.

He wasn't in the mood to deal with villagers' gossip, so Kakashi took towards the rooftops once more.

At his front door, Kakashi felt a familiar flicker of his father's chakra inside the house. His mood was lifted as Kakashi quickly slid the front door open, stepping out of his shinobi sandals. He arranged them neatly by the door before he padded lightly across the wooden floor, to his father's bedroom.

Perhaps that was why there had been whispers; they knew his father had come back after so many months on the battlefield.

Sakumo's door was slightly ajar, highly uncharacteristic of his father. Frowning, Kakashi approached his father's room, knocking lightly on the door. He received no response. Pressing his hand against the door, he pushed the door open lightly. The creak permeated through the silence.

His father was lying flat on his back on the bed, with fingers locked together, hands placed behind the back of his head. His eyes were wide open, staring blankly up at the ceiling. The ends of his feet dangled off of the bed. A blanket had been haphazardly pulled over his body, covering only his stomach.

"Tou san?"

There was no response. Kakashi crossed the distance between the door to his father's bedside. He leaned over his father, face blocking Sakumo's view of the ceiling. Sakumo blinked.

"Kakashi," Sakumo murmured. "You're back."

Kakashi removed his face from his father's view, flipping his body around so that he sat on the edge of his father's bed.

"I should be saying that," Kakashi said, a bit petulant. How long had it been since he last saw his father? Kakashi had begun to lose count of the days.

"Forgive me." The apathy in his voice had been concerning, even more so than the half hearted request.

"What's wrong?" Kakashi demanded.

"It's nothing. I'm just tired. Let me be alone for a little while, will you?"

As the last two members of the Hatake clan, the two of them had no other family other than themselves. That meant Kakashi had seen his father in all sorts of states of mind, including when he was boned tired.

Sakumo was certainly not tired. It was something else, something that he had never seen before, but Kakashi heeded to his father's request anyways and quietly exited the room. Perhaps, in a couple of hours, his father would be better.

Kakashi didn't count on it however.

He left the house once more, with a couple destinations in mind. The first had been the local bookstore, but the man Kakashi wanted to see wasn't present, so he moved on to the bathhouses, where Jiraiya was notoriously known for being present to peek at women. The entire vicinity was devoid of the Toad Sannin.

Puzzled, Kakashi wandered back to town, perhaps just foolishly hoping he would somehow run into Jiraiya. As he wandered down the street, the stares, the whispers, the pointing became so noticeable that even a civilian would have to be blind to not pick up on it. At this point, he was convinced that something was thoroughly wrong, but Kakashi hadn't been able to make out anything substantial other than the fact that it had to do with his father.

Then he spotted him, Arata Sarutobi, a frequent teammate of his father's. At the same time, Arata broke away from the conversation with the Yamanaka besides him, who had pointed in his direction. Kakashi didn't shy away from his staredown; in fact, he held his gaze until Arata crossed the distance between the two of them. The Yamanaka had followed, but lingered slightly behind.

Arata gripped the front of Kakashi's shirt, lifting him so that his feet no longer touched the ground. Over Arata's shoulder, Kakashi could see that the Yamanaka was conflicted; he had reached out to stop Arata but eventually retracted his hand.

Arata and Kakashi were eye level.

"Listen here brat, tell that disgrace of your father to go to hell!" Arata spat in his face. The cloth of his mask soaked up the spit. Arata released him; Kakashi landed nimbly on his feet.

"You can go tell him yourself," Kakashi replied evenly. "I'm not your messenger." Kakashi didn't ask what his father did; he wanted to hear from his father, himself. He turned to leave.

"Do you know what your father did?" Arata called after him. His footsteps halted. Kakashi slowly turned around, facing Arata and the Yamanaka once more.

"Should I?" Kakashi questioned, a lilt of challenge in his voice.

Arata scoffed. "Of course you should. We could have won the war if it wasn't for his mistake. You know, he took pity on an enemy and allowed him to escape and inform the Uchiha camp that we were coming. It's all his fault that we weren't able to take the outpost. It's his fault that we lost half of our squad! Sakumo wasn't worthy to be a captain, what an utter disgrace to the Senju army!"

This time the Yamanaka didn't hesitate in putting a hand on Arata's shoulder, reining him in a bit. Kakashi didn't pick up on what the Yamanaka said to Arata, but it somehow loosened some of the tension in his shoulders.

"Your father has too much of a bleeding heart," Arata said, this time more calmly. "If you know what's good for you, you'll learn from his mistakes."

"I'm sure he had his reasons," Kakashi murmured, as his mind whirled as it tried to comprehend what Arata had just said. There was no reason for Arata to lie on the matter, but Kakashi had trouble coming up with a plausible explanation for why his father had let the enemy go.

Arata scoffed. "His reasons, sure. What reason could he possibly have to let an informant get away and alert the Uchihas of an impending ambush? And can you believe he tried to get us to retreat, as if this wasn't the best chance we had to end the war in so many years?"

"He had his reasons," Kakashi repeated. He turned away, leaving the scene before Arata could say something else to convince him otherwise. At this point, Kakashi was torn in whether to wholeheartedly believe in his father or Arata's recount of the event.

And suddenly, it dawned on Kakashi what was wrong with his father.

He was wallowing in guilt. And that image was branded perpetually in Kakashi's mind.

Kakashi hurried down the street, trying his best to block out everyone else, yet the incessant whispering, the glares, the stares, the pointing, the accusatory looks, the pained looks was quickly overwhelming him. He could hardly breathe under the weight of their condemnation.

When Kakashi saw the disapproving look on his father's favorite shopkeeper's face, that had been the last straw. Kakashi turned sharply, down a narrow alleyway and scaled the side of the building in a matter of seconds. Once on the rooftops, he leapt from rooftop to rooftop, letting the gust of the wind sweep his tears away.

Aside from the tears, Kakashi tried to put up an impassive front, yet turmoil wracked him from the inside. Arata's words replayed in his mind like a broken tape record and each time he heard the echo of the word "disgrace," his heart clenched, a fresh wave of tears brimmed in his eyes, and something was lodged in the back of his throat: an explanation to defend his father that didn't exist.

Kakashi found solace in his favorite hiding spot, in the tree that stood tall in front of the Academy. From his vantage point, he could see the young kids doing target practice or running through the Academy style katas. Somehow, that always seemed to calm him; in the few hours that Kakashi watched, the tears slowly ebbed away, the turmoil in his mind faded away. Perhaps, it was their innocence.

The kids wouldn't attack him for his father's wrongdoing.

Even when the kids were long gone after the Academy was let out for the day, Kakashi continued to linger in the tree, staring absently out into the distance. He barely moved when a figure landed on the branch next to him.

"Figures you would be here."

"Sensei," Kakashi greeted. He shifted his body so that he could face Minato. "Why?"

Kakashi didn't even know what he was asking the question for. Why was his sensei here? Why did the entire village hate his father so much? Why had his father let the enemy get away? Why was there war in the first place?

"I was worried about you," Minato confessed. "Jiraiya told me the entire story and after hearing some of the things going around in the village…"

"I'm okay."

"You don't have to pretend to be strong and lie to me," Minato pleaded. "It's okay if you're hurt."

"I don't know what I'm feeling." And that was the truth; his emotions were all over the place. "Is it true? Did he do it?"

A flash of sympathy crossed Minato's face before he nodded. Kakashi turned away, staring down at the ground.

"I see."

"Talk to me, Kakashi. It's not good to keep your feelings bottled up inside."

"I'm okay. You should be more concerned about my father."

Minato brushed aside his deflection. "Jiraiya is with him right now. If there's anyone who can talk some sense into him, it'll be him. I'm more concerned about you, right now. Have the villagers been giving you any trouble?"

"Nothing that I can't handle."

"You would tell me if it gets too much, right?"

"Yes."

Minato sighed. "I know you're not too good at expressing your feelings, but if you ever need anyone, I'm here for you, alright?"

"I know. Thank you, Minato sensei."

"Tell me, how are you feeling right now?"

He knew if he continued to refuse to say anything, his sensei would persist with his questioning, so Kakashi threw out a response just to satisfy him. "Confused."

"I'm sure Sakumo san had his reasons," Minato tried to placate him.

Kakashi hummed in agreement. At least someone else seemed to agree with him.

"Except in every logical scenario I can come up with, he would have killed him."

"Kakashi…"

"Minato sensei, really, I'm fine. I just need some time to process this." Funny, how his father had said the same thing to get rid of him. With that, Kakashi flash stepped away from the area and headed off to somewhere where his sensei wouldn't think of to search for him.

He just needed time to process this. He was fine. His father would be fine. The anger will diminish as more time passes. This was temporary.

Everything was fine.

Or so he deluded himself.

A/N: Hi again!

Fun fact: I originally wanted to mirror canon and create a situation where Sakumo chooses his friends over the mission/war, but then I thought about tackling it from a different angle - a father's love for his son. I'm uncertain if it was plausible enough to justify why Sakumo would make that mistake (considering he is a seasoned shinobi), so let me know your thoughts.

Also as far as I'm aware, it was never really shown in canon whether the villager's condemnation of Sakumo extended to Kakashi, so I made my own assumptions that they would also scorn Kakashi by association.

Not sure if it was super clear, but the boy that Sakumo spared was Shisui! I tried to hint at it by saying he was an Uchiha and mentioning the teleportation and also there was a tiny scene in there where Shisui unlocks the Mangekyo Sharingan. The entire story would have turned out quite different if he wasn't spared. :)

And yup! I actually never thought about the Rasengan being similar to Chidori until you mentioned it...but I guess it is what it is.

Thanks for reading!

-MM