And now, after an unintentionally long delay, comes our demonic duo tearing up even more asphalt but now with the occasional bout of sex! And yet somehow I feel that's one of the tamest things I've done so far...
One of the benefits of being a demonic being in the mortal realm, as the intrepid and insane duo of Demencia and Cherri Bomb knew now more than ever, was having unlimited stamina. They needed no rest and only stopped their chaotic mayhem when they genuinely wanted a moment. This never-ending energy also meant that any time they ate or drank was purely for pleasure rather than a biological need.
This same ability also meant that they made love for twelve hours straight. Even in the middle of a battlefield surrounded by rotting corpses, the newfound lovers did not let their handiwork disturb them as they did every filthy thing they could think of and then some. Considering one had taught a literal porn star everything he knew, Cherri had an enormous well to draw from.
Once they were finally done putting orgies to shame, Demencia pulled out a pack of cigarettes and decided to follow the age-old cliché of smoking after sex. She did break the mold, however, by lighting it with her finger.
"Aaaaaaaahhhh…" swooned the draconic girl as she took a puff, "That was…wooooow…"
Cherri just snickered at her. "Well, it's nice to know I haven't lost my touch."
"When's the last time you had sex?"
"Three weeks ago. But even for me, that was pretty incredible!" The cyclops then pulled out a bottle of wine from her hammerspace boobs and let the gentle buzz wash over her, getting an odd look from her partner in the process.
"You…drinking something other than hard liquor?"
"What? Every now and again I like to have some class! Plus, I've never seen you smoke anything less than hardcore drugs before! Where'd you even get a pack to begin with?"
"I've been saving this…"
"Saving for…Wait, no way! You…a virgin?!"
"What can I say? I was never interested in anyone but Black Hat until now…"
"Soooo…Does that mean you don't lov-"
Cherri only got that far when Demencia shot her with a sawed-off shotgun straight in the eye. While the damage was quickly reversed, the answer was clear.
"Dumb question, then," she continued, "So, why are suddenly into me?"
"Well, actual friends are hard to come by as a villain. Plus, while Black Hat is the single greatest abomination the universe has ever known…I know I couldn't do half the shit I've done here around him without pissing him off. And while I'm every flavor of crazy, I know better than anyone that when he's genuinely pissed you run."
"I know the pain, sister."
"So, having someone who's not only super crazy and evil, but you can also be yourself around is… really nice. Plus, you are drop-dead gorgeous so it wasn't hard for me to get the hots for you considering that I already liked you as a friend."
"It's so weird hearing you actually make sense…but hey, given the crowd I hang with, I'm no stranger to weird sex. I mean, who knew you could do so much kinky shit with a tail?"
Demencia giggled as she swished her new appendage. Despite having it for less than a day, she proved how versatile it could be. Before the two could start banging again, though, she noticed the PDA they received laying on the ground a few feet away. After taking one last puff and discarding her cigarette, she walked over and activated the device to find a prerecorded message from their new ally Tom Sheldon.
"Hola, amigas! Sorry to run off on ya like that, but I wanted to give y'all some space while ya…work out yer differences, so to speak!"
A few seconds of him chuckling got Cherri's attention. She finished her wine and stood next to her new girlfriend for the rest of the message.
"So, once you got your buns in gear again, I'll be waitin' to show ya to where I've set up a new base on Panau thanks to the Agency. The coordinates'll come up as soon as the message is done, so hop to it!"
Sure enough, a GPS program opened up with directions pointing towards a spot on the west coast of Panau's main island.
"Well, looks like it finally time to get back to business," sighed Cherri as she launched a grapping hook at the ground, "Let's go see what our new partner has for us!"
Demencia revealed her dragon wings, now conveniently matching the rest of her green-scaled body, and took to the skies as Cherri catapulted herself forward with her hooks. After one of their more orderly trips across Panau, meaning they only got in a firefight once or twice as opposed to once every ten minutes, they arrived at a two-story brick house sitting on a pristine view of the ocean and the western half of the island in the distance.
"What is this place, his vacation home?" asked Demencia as she walked up to the last thing she ever expected to see in Panau; a green and white RV parked around the back of the house.
"One second, ladies! Gotta get some refreshments for the guests!" said Tom from the recreational vehicle. He emerged with a silver platters with two margaritas on it.
"Welcome to my little slice o' heaven, amigas! Glad you could make it!"
Each of the girls took a cocktail from his tray and eyed them curiously.
"What? Are we gonna blow up a dictator or invite him over for a cocktail party?" asked Cherri sarcastically.
"Take a little sip o' that before you judge!"
Both of the ladies complied and were quickly hit by a massive wave of energy far beyond what even the strongest of mixed drinks could pull off.
"HOLY FUCKING SHIT!" exclaimed Demencia as she slammed the rest of the drink down in one gulp, "What's in this stuff?! Raw gasoline and ecstasy?!"
"A little stimulant drug that's been outlawed since the '40s, but I happen to know the right partner in the business to get some! Thought I'd give you girls a little taste of what your rewards will be with this good ol' boy as your supplier!"
"Gramps, I could almost blow you for this because HOT DAMN!" shouted Cherri as she enjoyed the rush for herself. Once the two finally calmed down, they were surprised when he pulled a pair of handheld grenade launchers for the two of them.
"And I got gifts too! These puppies can hold eight grenades at a time, but just one o' these shots should blow any group of baddies you meet higher than a fighter jet trying to reach the moon!"
"Sweeeeet!" She picked up the weapon for herself and admired it for a moment before shoving it down her cleavage to join the rest of her cache.
"So now that I've proven I can get the goods, I wanna get some intel on who I'm workin' with. Tell me your story."
And so the duo actually recalled everything from the moment when Cherri was accidentally summoned by Black Hat's latest product. From there, the two realized how quickly they went from literally at each other's throats to best friends to something more just recently. By the end of it all, Tom was taking a sip of beer as he processed everything.
"Sweet Jesus in a Cadillac, that's nuts," he chuckled, "Pretty sure you two would be all the rage state-side! Course, every Christian in the world would either try burnin' ya at the stake or claiming everything they know is a lie…"
"I'd pay to see that!" laughed Cherri.
"But all in all, you two've done a mighty fine job breaking Panay's regime. Right now, I'd say you're about halfway done."
"Awwww! But there's so many more things to make go ka-blammo!" whined Demencia as she started sucking on a beer bottle of her own like an infant.
"Don't worry, y'all still have plenty of chaos to cause! Plus now you got lil' old me to bring whatever toys you want! Just use that PDA o' yours to ring me up and I'll bring the party favors!"
"While I don't mind having more partners-in-crime, what's in all this for you?" asked Cherri as she casually started rummaging around her cleavage for a vial of meth.
"What, can't a red-blooded American just wanna defend the principles of democracy and all that jazz?"
Both demons stopped what they were doing and just stared at him with the most disbelieving expression they could make.
"Okay, the sooner Panay's out of power, the sooner I can go back to eatin' cheeseburgers and bass fishing instead of working on some totalitarian island in the middle of the Indian Ocean."
Both ladies nodded, much happier with this explanation than the altruistic shite he tried to feed them. Tom then stood up and headed towards his RV.
"Alright then, chicitas, the house is yours if you wanna rest or you can get out there or you can skedaddle and start wiping Baby's ass some more, I'm gonna leave that to you. I'm gonna turn in for the night, but I've still got ya covered!"
And with that, the American agent shut the door leaving the demonic duo to their own devices. Demencia then revealed her wings as she looked out to the water.
"What're you so eager to fly for?" asked Cherri.
"I want a boat. We've stolen a lot of cars and a few choppers, but not a boat."
"Why a boat now?"
"Do we really need a reason at this point?"
Cherri just chuckled at that as she grabbed a hold of Demencia's waist as her partner took off looking for a boat to steal for fun. They were soon rewarded when they saw a speedy green motorboat with a machine gun mounted behind the driver. Both of the men onboard were wearing red vests and had yet to notice the pair flying overhead.
Their poor eyesight would soon be their downfall as Cherri dropped on board with a steel javelin in her hands which she wasted no time gutting the gunner with. Before the driver had a chance to retaliate, she sent a lightning bolt straight at his head. She then calmly strode to the front of the vessel while Demencia landed and began cooking the gunner's arm with her flames.
"There. Now we have a boat to fuck around with, so now what?" asked Cherri as she steered them down a river.
"What else?! We blow more shit up!"
And from there, the two spent the night running their seaworthy tool ragged as they tore up the coastline. Whether it was with the onboard machine gun or with the stockpile of heavy weapons they had on hand, they happily sunk any boat in their path with any other Panauan navy ship being demolished thanks to their fire and lightning. Sure, there were several fishing vessels lost in the process, but at least they were not the idiotic government troops who blew up their own boats by driving straight onto land. They got several laughs watching the crashes, though!
Their fun only continued when they ended up finding an oil rig far away just as the clock hit midnight. Drooling at the kind of havoc they could wreak there, the two abandoned their boat once it finally ran out of gas, and then promptly blowing it up with grenades for good measure, and made their way to the massive metallic structure. The two landed on the catwalk just above the water and were quickly spotted by an elite guard doing his rounds.
"Hey, stop right there!" he said pointing his assault rifle at them.
Instead of a verbal response, Demencia just charged at him with her claws bared. She was hit by several dozen bullets, but those barely tickled her before the damage was healed over. When she finally reached him, she whipped him with her tail right in the privates. With him now crying as he tried to squeak out a plea for help, Cherri finished him with a revolver shot to the head.
As the gunfire rang out into the night, they knew whatever cover they had was gone and the fun was truly about to begin. The two climbed the staircases up to the main platform even as more troops tried shooting them down. Only one of them was smart enough to try retreating as he watched the demonesses slice and shoot his comrades to unrecognizable bits. Just as he got to the top of the stairs, though, a grappling hook was sunk into his back. He got one high-pitched scream out before Cherri reeled him in and silenced him with dagger to the throat.
This quickly got the guards on the platform on their guard. Having just witnessed what looked like a scene straight from a horror movie, they actually showed a modicum of strategy and pointing their guns at whatever just dragged a man to his doom. Instead of a monster emerging, though, they heard what sounds like giggling and the sounds of a couple kissing.
"Fuck me, woman, you are insatiable!" spoke Cherri, completely bewildering all the guards, "Can't we wait until we're done here before we do that?"
"What? I thought you liked getting freaky in places like this!" pouted Demencia, "We spent half a day fucking in the middle of a battlefield, right?"
"Yeah, but even I know that business and pleasure are two separate things! I may be a slut of the highest caliber, but I'm also a slut who understands there's work to be done first. Priorities, you know?"
"Fiiiiiiiine…But when we're done, you are gonna do that swirly thing with your tongue again! I never knew you could see colors without drugs!"
"Whatever you say, psycho. Now then, I think there's some maggots listening in on us. Want to teach them not to eavesdrop?"
"Absolutely!"
And with that cheery send-off, Demencia flew out into the open with a shotgun in her hands and her signature mace held by her tail. Those who avoided being blasted into giblets got smashed through by her medieval melee weapon until the resemble jelly more than human beings. When Cherri strolled on deck, having slashed the throats of the few soldiers trying to run for cover, she placed a finger on her chin and inspected the gruesome scene before her.
"Hmmmmm, impressive work, but there's still something missing…"
"Confetti and a beer bong?" asked Demencia as she casually started juggling grenades.
"Tempting, but no…"
Cherri looked to the top of the rig where a massive drilling tower stood like a beacon in the middle of the ocean. She grappled her way up, electrocuting and shooting several guards she passed on the different levels of the rig, and took out several triggered explosives from her bottomless cleavage space.
"Would you kindly do the honors?" she asked sweetly. Demencia was all too quick to comply.
"My base instincts approve! BOOM-BOOM!"
One push of the detonator later and several explosions took out the tower's legs and sent the whole metal construct crashing down. The civilian workers panicked and ran for cover while the remaining soldiers aimed their guns at Cherri who was busy admiring her handiwork.
"Let me guess…I'm under arrest?" she cheekily asked the guards.
Several bullets already flying at her was all the answer she needed as she leapt down to their level with a pair of trench knives already in hand. Not wanting to be left out of the action, Demencia lobbed fireballs from above and sent many incoming enemies to a painful, burning death.
"Well, that was a fun way to spend the morning!" remarked Cherri as she picked the firearms off several of the fallen Panauan forces.
"Does this mean more sexy fun times?"
"Later, you pervert, but what you said about boats got me thinking something…"
"About how convoluted it is that a dictator who acquired power so suddenly has such a level of military power that multiple global superpowers are getting involved in a struggle for oil?"
"No, I've just come accept that weirdness. I was thinking we haven't hijacked any planes either…"
"Deal! Let's fly!"
"Not quite…" said Demencia as she pulled out the PDA she received from Tom, "I'm curious to try out our new friend's services on the way."
One quick call later and the two had a bright red, top-of-the-line speedboat at their disposal with along with a brand new pack of C4 to go with it. Cherri noticed on the climb up the rig how there were gas tanks all over the walls apparently there for filling. Seeing such potential destruction left undone would have brought a tear to her blood-red eye so she left behind a parting gift. With one final push, all ten of the fuel tanks along the rig exploded in one final blaze of glory while Demencia steered them back towards the mainland.
When they arrived on the beach, ramming their shiny new boat into the sand at top speed so it exploded on impact, the two took a brief moment to do a few rows of coke and make out on the sand before flying off to the nearest military airport. One trip on stolen motorcycles later, the two arrived at the entrance to a complex with several hangers, multiple huge runways and several cinderblock buildings in between. They also noticed another colonel wearing the same special red armor as the last one along with a squad of elite soldiers wearing special blue berets.
"Hm, we need something to make this feel special…," thought Demencia, "I don't want President Pussy to see us as predictable."
"What, we should just walk in and ask for a plane?" asked Demencia as she hanged from the fence near the entrance upside-down.
Cherri, much to her surprise, decided to take the suggestion seriously and just casually walked in unarmed. She walked into the nearest hangar where several guards were overseeing a small jet plane off. She waltzed right up to one of them and asked with all the politeness she could muster if she could momentarily borrow the plane for a quick jaunt around the countryside with the promise that the craft would be in showroom condition when she returned it.
The guard then had the brilliant idea to give her access to the plane in exchange if she followed him back to his bunker to look at his "prized sword."
"Okay, three problems with that. One, I've polished enough swords in my lifetime that I can tell just by looking at you you're nothing special. Two, I'm actually in a committed relationship right now so I'd need to ask my girlfriend first. And three…"
A bowie knife emerged from her shin and she slashed the guard in the throat so fast he did not have time to even say ouch.
"…I don't do necrophilia. Now, you got some BDSM stuff, call me!"
The other guards opened fire, but that meant little as she sent ran helter-skelter shooting off sparks of lightning in one hand while stabbing schmucks with the other until she was alone with the plane. The pilot was the only one smart enough to realize the literal demon might just be dangerous. Cherri happily leaped into the cockpit, fired up the thrusters and made her way onto the runway. After a brief few seconds taking off she was quickly ascending into the sky until she noticed several bullets trying to take her down courtesy of the colonel and his boys.
Thankfully, Demencia was already on the case and was not about to let them ruin her girlfriend's fun. After setting one on fire from a distance, she quickly got their full attention. The colonel and three remaining berets turned their assault rifles on her, which as per the norm, meant jack-all to her as her body healed the damage instantly. She hooked her tail around the neck of the colonel as she flew by and used him as a blunt weapon against his own men, beating them with his own body until his neck snapped from the force.
The berets were stunned by the loss of their superior officer, but they could not dwell on it for long before Demencia slashed two of them to pieces with her claws and the third was killed by a burst of fire breath.
It was not long after she was done with them that a massive crash rang throughout the base as Cherri's plane barreled straight into the runway. When Demencia flew over to the new crater, she found her lover none the worse for wear even with fifteen guys shooting her in the back.
"Hey babe, turns out I fucking suck at flying planes!" she chuckled as a bullet burst her eye.
"Huh, who knew? You did try flying sober, right?"
"Fuck no! Where's the fun in that? I took a few shots of tequila before taking off!"
Demencia actually placed her hands on hips and looked skeptical. "Really?"
"Okay, I downed the entire bottle in one go!"
"Oh, thank goodness! For a second there, I was worried you were getting depressed, not drinking like you should. You need some help with those guys still trying to shoot you?"
"Yeah, this is getting old."
The two quickly pulled out machine guns of their own and quickly took down five of them. When the rest tried to scatter, the two charged in with the cyclops slashing them apart with a massive medieval claymore while the dragoness settled for getting headshots with a submachine gun.
The two then found another hanger where a full-fledged fighter jet was just gearing up for takeoff. Before it could get onto the runway, though, he was stopped by Demencia yanking open the hatch and dropping him on the tarmac. Cherri grappled onto the plane as her lover hit the ignition and quickly took to the skies at ridiculous speeds.
The two then spent the next several hours playing with their latest toy. They were extremely happy to find that the plane was not only equipped with two bottomless machine guns, but also a pair of rocket launchers with endless ammunition! Many people on the ground were wondering why a military aircraft was doing loops and spelling out curse words in contrails, but frankly it was an improvement in their eyes.
The hell-spawn finally ran the plane out of fuel so they made a landing at an air base in the middle of a desert. Given that they were flying a million-dollar piece of military hardware, they figured there was only one way to properly land the jet: holding down the triggers for the rockets and Gatling guns while flying straight towards a massive communications tower and give the latest batch of unlucky droogs an unforgettable welcome!
After they reformed from their latest kaboom, the two freefell to the ground letting off as much fire and lightning as they could. Several soldiers who had the surprisingly component idea to shoot them out of the air were quickly incinerated and/or electrocuted into unrecognizable piles. Once they landed at terminal velocity and shook off the damage, they immediately found themselves back-to-back surrounded by armed soldiers.
"Demencia, I'm been curious about something," asked Cherri conversationally.
"Why they sell hot dogs in packs of ten, but sell hot dog buns in packs of eight?"
"No, that's just a con like those Nigerian prince scams. I was wondering with how many powers we both have now why not try combining them?"
The draconic girl got a horrifying smile on her face as she turned around and picked up Cherri by her legs and spun her around as fast as she could while the cyclops focused on the black bands around her wrists. The grappling hooks came out as per the norm, but then she actually concentrated on them and was rewarded when several small metal blades emerged on the lines turning them into whip-swords.
This new combination proved deadly for the horde of soldiers around as no matter how many bullets they fired, the tornado of death expanded and quickly began shredding all of them to pieces. Demencia even started spinning on her heels and moving them around in a wider circle until the fifty soldiers around them were sliced to meaty chunks.
Once they finally stopped spinning, the two casually strolled through the base finishing off the last few soldiers until they found a surprisingly comfortable lounge with a velvet couch and a bottle of imported whiskey on a table.
"You know that whole combo thing you brought up just gave me a great idea…" said Demencia with a lecherous grin. The two wasted no time liquoring themselves up, yanking off each other's clothes and seeing how many ways heat and electricity could improve sex. Granted, there were a handful of times they would get carried away and let loose a full-on fireball or lightning bolt. They were naturally fine, but the building looked more like a war had come through rather than two immortal demons looking for ways to spice up their sex life. They eventually fell asleep on each other, for once letting all the excitement of the day tire them out and enjoying a rare moment of tranquility in the wake of their rampage.
With the girls now having tackled land, air, and sea, next time Tom calls them in for a big job! Tune in to see another round of insane demons versus a military full of disposal goons!