Disclaimer: I own nothing.

CH 17

JPOV

Trepidation was the name of the game as Bella and I left the house for her hunting experiment. Unease was rolling off her and I was struggling to combat it with waves of calm and self-confidence. Alice had seen that Bella was getting in her own way, as usual. She needed to know she could do this.

We ran in silence all the way to the Olympic National Park away from the popular spots. I figured the beautiful scenery would be an added bonus to her finally realizing she was a fully functional vampire.

A herd was relatively close by when we slowed. She looked at me nervously, clearly thinking back to the last time she was in this position. I sent another round of calm towards her along with a little determination. Before she let go, I did a wide sweep of the area to make sure there were no humans around. I didn't want to set her up for failure like Edward. It wasn't his fault really—he had been completely enamored with her and was not thinking straight. We were all too excited to think about the negative consequences of letting a newborn hunt with only one backup. Especially a backup who was thinking more about his new mate than whether there were people around.

As I circled back around, I gave Bella the nod and let her go. She was a natural. It made me sad to think she had spent so many months thinking she was less-than because of a careless mistake on all our parts. After getting to know my new sister, it was clear that her heart was pure and her mind was sharp. If ever there was a perfect match for Edward, she was it. I was still sometimes angry at him for what he did to her but also in awe at his strength. No matter what happened, I didn't think I would ever be able to separate myself from Alice. To think that thought was unbearable and Edward had been away from Bella for months.

I heard Bella's teeth slice easily into the neck of one of the herd and it made me thirsty. I quickly caught one for myself so I could be present with her when she finished.

She was clearly new at this as was a mess when she came back to me. Her clothes were ripped and she had blood on her hands and face, but all in all, she did well. She shrugged at the state of herself but was feeling good. Her pride was rippling off her in waves. I sent it right back to her. She did wonderfully well.

"I can't believe I let my fear keep me from doing that."

"Fear is a powerful thing, Bella. So is guilt."

She looked at me, knowing that I felt her constant guilt. It wasn't loud and abrasive like Edward's, but more present and dull, like terrible background music. It tinged every emotion she had.

"I think I could be good at this eventually. I wish I had started sooner."

"The point is that you are starting now. You're lucky we love you—no one else has ever gotten deer via bottle service in the Cullen household. Guess you're a VIP member." I joked with her.

She smiled at that. I cherished her smiles, as they were rare. Real true smiles. Not the ones she gave frequently for the show she put on for the others to convince them she was okay. She thought she was a good actor, but she really wasn't. We all knew she wasn't growing like she should. When she finally admitted she needed Edward, I was relieved.

I was also excited about seeing Edward and having the whole family back together.

"Do you think I'm an idiot, Jazz?"

"Why would I ever think that, Bella?" I responded, genuinely curious.

"Because I want to see him. I'm considering talking with him and more than that…I want to forgive him. I want things to be okay again. I'm not okay," she admitted.

She started shuddering as if she was crying and I knew this was something brought over from her human life. Not being able to cry was a cruel thing for us.

"Bella, please. I think we can all understand your feelings towards Edward are complicated. You need to be able to explore that without wondering what the rest of us are thinking. We are doing this for you. We are with you 100%. You don't have to worry about anything as far as that goes. No matter what happens between you two, you'll always be our sister."

She looked up at me again with a confused expression.

"What do you think will happen?"

"Honestly, I have no idea. You are both very quick to self-blame and jump to the wrong conclusions. But I felt what you both were feeling that day and I can say that it was powerful. And that was when you barely knew him. Imagine if you let yourself get to know him and think about where that could take you?"

I could feel her cycling through every emotion that had hit her that day. I wasn't surprised there was fear, anger, confusion, worry, awe, fascination, adoration, care, and hunger. The hunger lasted longer in her mind and shifted to a more lust-filled hunger. She immediately shut it down with a sharp hit of embarrassment and disgust. She wouldn't look at me.

"Hey—don't be embarrassed. You've been living with two mated vampire pairs. I've felt it all and absolutely nothing you feel could ever shock or surprise me. Its natural."

She was still looking away, rolling in waves of embarrassment when Alice called my phone.

"Hi. Can you bring Bella home? I have news. And it's good, Jazz. It's so good!"

I smiled as Bella's eyes snapped up to mine. We nodded to each other as I confirmed to Alice that we were on our way, told I loved her, and hung up the phone. The next thing I knew, we were flying home.