"I'm bloody aware," Claire cursed before slamming the door behind her. Jamie stood from the radio and walked over to the window to see Claire storming down the sidewalk with her purse in hand.
"Ye should no' speak to a woman like that," Jamie said glancing at Frank. "especially one with child."
Frank sighed turning the page in his book, "I don't need you to tell me how to speak to my wife, Highlander."
Jamie rolled his eyes and went back to his spot by the radio. He absolutely loved the little magic box. When he and Jenny were wee bairns, they would listen to their mother sing as she did her duties around the estate. Their mother always had a smile on her face and a song in her heart. After her death, music had virtually disappeared from Lallybroch. No one else knew how to carry a tune as well as the Lady so the only songs belted were by drunken men. It was the reason Jamie requested that Claire sing to him, she always said she couldn't sing, but Jamie swore she sounded like an angel. That was his favorite part of this new world; being wrapped in a thick blanket while his wife sang him songs, many of which had words he'd never heard before, but he enjoyed them, nonetheless.
Thinking of his sister broke his heart even more. He wondered more about Jenny than anyone else. Jenny was… had, Jamie kept reminding himself, been a strong-willed woman. She was more than capable of taking care of herself and from what Mrs. Graham had told them the region around Lallybroch had faired quite nicely after the uprising with Claire's warning. That knowledge gave him peace but didn't quench his need for knowledge. He'd asked Mrs. Graham for help tracking down his family in Gaelic when Claire hadn't been paying attention.
She'd agreed to help, but the next time they met informed him that the Reverend– Frank's friend – while a kind man refused to help with any research on his behalf out of loyalty to Frank. She wasn't able to get his books to look for him. Claire understood his need for answers, she wanted them too, but told him it was dangerous to 'chase ghosts'. She thought it was better to let the past stay behind them so they could thrive in the present. He loved Claire with all his heart and would do anything for her– but not this. He couldn't let it go.
He wanted, no needed, to know what happened to his family and friends. The only fate he truly knew of was the death of Dougal and this he only knew because he'd been his uncle's killer. Jamie thought the best place to start would be with Jenny and Ian. Since he'd passed on ownership of Lallybroch to Little Jamie, it should have stayed in the family and avoided tenure by the British. They should have been left alone and the land would've been passed down the generations, as Jamie intended.
He hadn't planned to leave, on the contrary, he was actually waiting for Claire to return home from shopping. He'd been developing his argument for days on why they should go to Lallybroch together and see what had become of their family estate. But with Frank so engrossed in his book Jamie couldn't ignore his moment. He slowly stood from his seat and walked right out the door, Frank didn't acknowledge him at all.
Jamie bounded down the stairs and began walking in the opposite direction that Claire had gone in. If he could just find the fountain that marked the middle of the city, he could orient himself from there and make it to Lallybroch.
Claire fell onto one of the public benches as another search for Jamie ended with no results. They'd made copies of Frank's reward poster and asked everyone they passed on the street if they'd seen him, but no one had. It was like Jamie had simply vanished into thin air. Against her better judgment, and with no sign of Jamie after a full day, Claire let Frank report Jamie as missing to the police hoping they'd aid in the search for him. The inspector assured them if they found anything regarding Jamie they would call immediately. Unable to be alone with Frank, Mrs. Graham followed them on their search.
They'd gone to every spot Jamie knew in town, hoping that they'd find him, but they never did. Claire's anxiety grew with every hour that passed without news of him. Jamie had no way of contacting her should he need or want to. She hadn't gotten around to teaching Jamie how to use the phone and even if she had he wouldn't know their number. He'd be stuck wherever he was until she found him. She just hoped he'd stay in one place.
"He'll be all right, deary," Mrs. Graham assured taking Claire's hands in hers and rubbing them together for warmth. "He's a strong man, a Scottish warrior, don't forget. I'm sure he went off looking for you, took a wrong turn, and simply lost his way."
"No," Claire shook her head. "Jamie's been to the market with me, he knew that's where I was going."
"Claire!" Frank ran across the street to them. "I just got a call from the police, a farmer right outside of town just reported that yesterday one of his horses went missing; stolen by a man resembling Jamie."
"He stole a damn horse?" Claire couldn't believe it.
"Faster than walking, and he does hate cars." Mrs. Graham supplied.
"Still," Frank shoved his hands in his trousers. "even if he is mobile he won't make it far. Horses need rest and water; he'll have to stop somewhere to recharge."
"Where is he planning to go if he felt the need for a horse?" Mrs. Graham asked.
"He's going home. He's going to Lallybroch." Claire kicked herself for not thinking of it sooner.
"If we leave now, we could catch him on the road, might even beat him there." Frank said opening the car door for Claire, "Well, c'mon." he added at her hesitance.
"No," Claire replied. "I'm not going anywhere with you."
"I'll take ye, Claire." Mrs. Graham told her.
"I guess I'm following," Frank mumbled slamming the car door shut.
The road to Lallybroch was one he didn't recognize. Jamie thought getting to his ancestral home would be easy, he knew the land and could get there from anywhere in Scotland. He assumed starting from the fountain would give him the greatest advantage, after all, Lallybroch wasn't far from Inverness. Two days if he walked quickly and only stopped if necessary, Jamie knew from what Claire told him that a car would be fastest but he had no desire to be in one again, so he walked. He followed the road but always at a distance, he didn't want to chance getting hit again.
The idea hit him as night began to fall. If Claire was with him he wouldn't admit it, but to himself he could, he was lost. He thought the journey to Lallybroch would be the same; the same rivers, hills, roads, trees… but they were different. Where he was expecting to find a river he found a dried-up patch of dirt. Buildings covered once open fields and hills had been flattened. He had no way to guide himself except to trust his instinct.
The moment his eyes found the animal Jamie felt happier than he had in days. Jamie quickly made his way towards the animal but slowed to a brisk walk as he neared the horse to keep from spooking it. Jamie clicked his tongue as he got closer to command the animal's attention. The horse was magnificent; a warm chestnut color with a black mane. The horse didn't back away from him and Jamie was easily able to touch it.
"Aye, y'er a beautiful thing." Jamie stroked its muzzle. "How would you like to come wi' me? I promise I'll return ye…" Jamie looked around and frowned when noticed how far they were to the main home. Horses should always be near the house, they were essential to everyday life and needed to be kept close, just in case. His shoulder's sagged when Jamie remembered that with the invention of cars horses weren't as needed. They were little more than pets these days.
Jamie ducked low as he made his way towards the farmhouse. He found what he was looking for as soon as he walked inside; Jamie grabbed a saddle and lead off the wall. He had the horse saddled up in minutes and had barely hoisted himself up when a shot rang out. Turns out the sound of gunfire hadn't changed in two centuries.
Jamie rode all night, only stopping a few times for the horse to drink and rest. They made it to Lallybroch faster than Jamie had hoped. The guilt of leaving without telling Claire lessened the moment he saw the building in the distance. Jamie didn't know what he was expecting; he knew it was foolish to ride up and see his sister or one of his nieces and nephews playing outside, but he certainly wasn't expecting the building to look at it did. It seemed time and age had been no friend to Lallybroch.
The outside stones were covered in cracks and green mildew. The roof seemed to have caved in and the windows were all shattered. Jamie tied the horse to one of the posts and slowly walked up the crumbling steps. He squinted his eyes at the sign hanging on the door: Derelict. Danger. Do not enter. Jamie ripped down the paper and threw it to the side. The door was just as solid as he remembered, it took several rounds of him slamming his entire body against it before it budged opened. The house was empty. What furniture remained Jamie could barely recognize with all the dust. The air smelled of mold and dirt floated through the air.
The more Jamie took in the place the heavier his heart became. The house had clearly been abandoned some time ago, it looked like no one had been here for years– possibly decades. The beautiful wallpaper his mother had picked out was well worn by time and weather. He couldn't make out the patterns anymore but Jamie knew flowers had once been visible. He carefully made his way up the creaking stairs and ran his hand along the wall. When he reached the landing he noticed that his mother's paintings were gone; he hoped they had been taken by a Fraser or Murray and not by some looter.
He paused at the threshold of the room just down the hall. Unlike the downstairs this room was completely void; it held nothing but decaying walls and warped floorboards. Jamie couldn't believe that this was the room he'd snuck into as a lad to play with his father's sword; the room he shared with Claire. This room was proof enough that his family no longer called Lallybroch their home. He had no desire to be in the house any longer and he stormed outside, wiping away the tears from his eyes.
"Dammit, Jenny!" He yelled into the air, "How could ye do this? Abandon our home?"
Jamie had no proof of course that this had been Jenny's doing, that Lallybroch fell into such a state of disrepair because of her. Maybe she and her family had been forced to flee or lost control of the property due to hardship. He only knew one thing; Lallybroch was gone. Destroyed with the rest of his memories.
Jamie walked up the weed-covered hill and gave a watery smile at the scene before him, "At least y'er still here Mam." He placed his hand on the stone. Whatever or whoever happened to his home had left the graveyard untouched by everything except time. The grass went up to his knees and the trees were overgrown. Jamie might not have been able to read the stones anymore but he knew who each headstone belonged to. His hand was on his mother's, to her left was Willie's and to the right was his father's. His grandmother was in the row above his da and his uncle Irving was next to her. But the stone five feet behind him… Jamie didn't recognize. He pulled up the grass to read the stone. He collapsed after reading the name: Ian Alastair Robert MacLeod Murray.
"Jamie!" Claire yelled opening the car door and stepping outside. "The door," Claire pointed at the entrance of the house. "he's here, Jamie!" She ran inside.
"Claire, be careful!" Mrs. Graham called rushing in after her.
Frank moved to follow them but stopped when he noticed a gate swinging with the wind. Curious, Frank thought to himself. He walked through the gate and up the small hill before coming to a landing covered in weeds and stones; gravestones by the shape of them. The Frasers, like many during their time, had used the land behind their estate to bury their dead. Part of him was curious, graveyards always had been interesting to Frank. What better way to learn of history than from the stones of those who had died from it?
Frank noticed him immediately. Jamie's body was too large to be hidden by the decaying stones and his hair currently reflecting the sun was a beacon. Frank walked over and nudged the man with his foot.
"Highlander," Frank said. "get up you neanderthal." With another nudge from Frank's foot, Jamie began to stir. "Friend of yours?" Frank asked nodding to the stone Jamie's hand was on.
"Aye," Jamie nodded sitting up and rubbing the dirt off his face. "my brother-in-law."
"Ian Murray," Frank squatted and read the stone. "says here he died in 1778. I wonder what from." Frank stood.
"Does it matter?"
"No," Frank shrugged. "perhaps not. You truly don't wonder what happened to your family?"
"O'course I wonder," Jamie glared at him. "but y'er reverend friend won't help from loyalty to ye."
"Ah."
"I wonder every day," Jamie said breaking the silence that had fallen between them, "I miss my sister, my nephews, nieces, Christ, I never thought I would miss my uncles."
"Do you want to go back?"
"I do," Their eyes met across the weeds. "will ye take me?"
"Take you?"
Jamie stood from the ground and stopped in front of Frank. "If ye give me y'er word that ye'll take care of Claire and the bairn, I'll go. We both ken I dinna belong here. Claire… is too stubborn no' tae see otherwise."
"She is," Frank nodded. "you'll truly go?"
"Upon y'er word that ye'll care for them. Love them."
Frank extended his hand, "You have it."
"Then ye have my word, Frank Randall, I shall go."