Disclaimer: I own nothing.
CH 19
CPOV
The weeks leading up to our family's arrival in town were interesting. Since I had known Edward, he had never appeared uneasy or nervous. Though slightly aloof, he had always been self-assured and calm. He had a knack for self-blame and tended towards the pessimistic side of all things, but I supposed that came with knowing the innermost thoughts of the world.
I had worked my whole existence to continue to see the good in the world-the things worth fighting for. It made me beyond proud to see my family follow in my footsteps, though I was aware it was harder for some of them than others. For Jasper, it was a matter of adaptation. The desire to do right was always there, but it was marred by his lack of control around human blood. The progress he had made in the years with us was astounding, but still was a point of shame for him.
Edward, on the other hand, was the paragon of self-control. Since he was made new, his entire being was under control. The "rebellious phase" he liked to refer to was due to him extraordinary ability to read minds. He could hear the thoughts of the worst of humanity and had taken matters into his own hands. For him, it hadn't been about the blood. It had been about the righteous part of him that longed for a better world. He had admitted to Esme and myself when he finally returned to us that this life led him to understand that he was no better, taking their lives for himself like some angry avenger.
Again, this was Edward's view. The two of us just wanted him back, with no conditions. Our family was incomplete without him, which explained our current situation. Esme couldn't bear to be apart from him. Though we loved our children immensley, Esme and Edward had always had a bond slightly deeper than that of the others. I knew her happiness, and therefore my happiness, depended on making sure he was alright.
While it had been a relief to be around him again, and see him making plans and attempting to live, it was also very painful to witness. The entire aftermath of Bella's accident was one of the worst things to have happened to our family. Bella had made a mistake, we had all made a mistake, and Edward had decided for us all that he alone would shoulder the blame. For months, we didn't hear from him. During this time, Bella was completely unreachable. Without Edward to pull her out of it, she remained catatonic and lifeless. Despite our family's best efforts, she wasted away. She wouldn't eat, move, or talk. Even Jasper's gift couldn't sense anything. It was almost as if she had ceased to exist.
Once she began to emerge from whatever it was that held her back, I could feel our family also respond. I knew Esme was growing increassingly uneasy without Edward and let our children know we needed to see him. While angry, they understood. We had kept in touch and I could tell Bella was continuing to make progress. Edward never mentioned Rosalie's messages, but I could see a change in him as well. With every piece of good news, he brightened. The warring emotions that played across his face while he listened to the voicemails was hard to reconcile.
When Esme and I learned of their plan to meet us here in Ithaca and all enroll in colleges in the area, I couldn't help but feel immense relief. Esme was a little hurt they had decided not to live at home-she loved her family and thrived off of the seven of us being together. But I understood what they were doing and I would support them through it all.
The biggest role I had to play was to ensure Edward didn't sabotage himself before their arrival. He was prone to over-thinking, so Esme and I kept a close eye on him in the weeks leading up to the big day. He had, of course, read into our ulterior motives for being around him constantly in those weeks but graciously allowed us to care for him.
His uneasiness grew with each passing day. The day before their arrival, my calm, self-assured son was nowhere to be found. He was restless, anxious and agitated. We tried to support from afar that day, as his uncharacteristics snaps at us only added to his guilt.
Whatever was to come, we would be there for him. In my heart, I knew he could handle this and that he was worthy of a happy ending. Esme and I thought this on a constant loop through the day in an effort to steel him and to let him build up the confidence to tackle whatever happened next.
The next morning, Alice arrived on our doorstep with Jasper. Esme pulled them both into tight embraces, which made my heart swell. I quickly gleaned that Bella, Rosalie and Emmett were not with them, however, I could smell their scents all over them. They had clearly just been together. I heard Edward breathe a sigh of relief behind me as he read my thoughts. Thought he was anxious to see her, his fears were strong.
Alice walked over to him and hugged him tightly while whispering in his ear. I saw him nod and hug her back. The rest of us moved around the two of them, ready to help our family come through this.