Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Chapter 27

BPOV

Edward and I had continued our sexual escapades well into the next morning. Somehow we had ended up laying on the rug in front of the fireplace. In the middle of the night, the fire Edward had lit when we arrived had gone out. Sensing it, he had carried me downstairs, laid me on the rug, restarted the fire and resumed his attention to my body. Though we didn't need the warmth, the atmosphere of the fire crackling next to us made me feel safe and loved.

We were laying side by side, legs entwined, my head resting on my chest when I broke the comfortable silence.

"Is this normal?"

Edward's finger had been idly circling my back, making small patterns. His finger stopped at my question.

"Is what normal?" he asked in a slightly concerned tone.

I propped myself on my elbow to gain a better view of his face.

"This", I paused, kissing his cheek and nuzzling my face against his before pulling back to look at his eyes. "How fast I've fallen in love with you?"

His eyes lit with a gorgeous sparkle.

"Well, considering I've never been in love before you, I can't say", he said as he brushed my hair away from my face, tucking the loose strands behind my ear. "Did Rose, Alice or Esme talk with you about any of this?"

I looked away from him and shrugged. I didn't want to ruin the moment by bringing up the past, but I had to admit that I was a little worried we had skipped a few steps. Two days ago, I didn't even know if he would be able to stand being around me for the entire afternoon so I could get my answers and now we'd not only pushed our physical relationship to the farthest level. I knew I was in love with him and yet, I barely knew him. In my heart, I knew we belonged together but my logical mind couldn't connect the dots as to how we had gotten there so fast. I was scared I had pushed us too far.

After realizing I had gotten stuck in my own head for a moment to long, I sighed and turned back to Edward.

"They explained a little to me. I obviously saw the three of them with Emmett, Jasper and Carlisle. To be honest, I know far too much about their private relationships", I rasped out with a dry laugh.

Edward looked at me with an eyebrow raised, "you know I can read minds, right? Imagine the things I've heard in the past century living with three pairs of mated vampires."

My expression must have registered the appropriate amount of disgust because Edward started chuckling.

"Yes, that face is exactly right. You have no idea how hard it was to deal with that alone."

I rested my head back down on his chest, his arm resuming its gentle tracing on my back.

"Right. Well, anyways, I suppose they tried to tell me what they could about the whole "vampire mating thing" without talking about you directly." I hesitated a moment, unsure how much I wanted to disclose to him. "I couldn't hear your name for a long time, Edward. They all learned pretty quickly that, despite my progress, any talk of you could and usually would set me back. That is, until I decided to stop running away from everything and chose to face things instead. Obviously you can see how that turned out" I finished lamely, looking back up at him.

His face looked pained as his other hand reached across his chest and began lightly touching my face.

"Bella-I don't think I'll ever be able to properly apologize for the damage I've done to you. I truly believed I was a harm to your well-being. I thought my presence was detrimental to your health. First, I had turned you against your will and doomed you to this life without your permission. I was drawn to you as a human-not only your blood, but your soul as well. It was like fate was trying to show me just how important you'd end up being to me." He dragged his hand away from my face and ran it through his hair, looking up at the ceiling. "I knew it was unfair of me to put that pressure on you-we barely knew each other-and yet that pull to you only grew stronger as you changed. When you opened your eyes after those three agonizing days, I knew I couldn't be without you. I hoped you'd eventually grow to feel the same.

Those thoughts and feelings had me out of control that day. I made my second mistake in allowing us to go hunting for the first time alone. I should have known I'd be consumed with my feelings for you, but I'm a bit stubborn", he looked down at me with a wry smile. "My family knew I wouldn't allow them to hunt with us that first time. I selfishly wanted you for myself and you ultimately ended up paying the price for my carelessness."

I disentangled myself from his body, fully facing him on my side, resting my head on my arms folded underneath me. Edward moved to mirror my position, looking at me with such pain.

"If that's true, Edward, then the rest of your family is just as easy to blame. And if that's all that had happened, it still would've been something I would have had a hard time handling. I killed someone, after all. It took me a very long time to forgive myself for that, but I did. And I forgave your family for their part in all this as well. I could have easily forgiven you too. What I am having a really hard time getting past is the fact that you left."

It was really hard for me to be vulnerable and admit this to him so I told him that. He nodded solemnly.

"I mean, how did you even have the strength to leave me? If you are feeling what I'm feeling now, I just don't understand. Was it really that easy for you to walk away? Not only that, but to stay away for so long?" I asked finally, allowing the hurt and anger to flood my face.

He reached between us for my hand, eyes blazing, and said, "it was the hardest thing I've ever done, Bella. Every fiber of my being rebelled against being away from you. I wasn't really living...I was simply existing. Hearing Rosalie's voicemails was the other tether to you-its all that kept me afloat. I listened to every single one. At first, when you weren't making progress, I had to fight every second not to run back to you. I had really convinced myself it was for the best. Then, as you starting coming around, I took that as confirmation that I had done the right thing. You didn't need me in your life and were improving more and more every day.

When Carlisle and Esme got here, I finally realized how empty my life had become. Having them near me again was a small comfort, but they both knew I was just biding my time, distracting myself with the prospect of college. They both tried talking sense into me, but...you know...stubborn."

I nodded, a small smirk appearing on my lips despite the heavy topic.

Edward continued, "I was completely caught off guard when I spoke to Rosalie and she told me you wanted to see me. I was in such a dark place, I couldn't possibly fathom we would end up here. I don't think I let my heart even think of it. Once I saw you again, I knew I wouldn't survive leaving you again. No matter how things had turned out that day, I knew I'd spend the rest of my life begging your forgiveness." He caressed my cheek and moved his forehead until it was resting against mine, looking deep into my eyes. "The fact that you've not only forgiven me, but allowed me in-allowed me to express just how much you mean to me means more than I can say. That you feel the same for me is beyond anything I could have dreamed." He leaned in to kiss me, whispering "I don't deserve you" against my lips.

I pulled back slightly, moving my hand to trace his face as he had done to mine.

"Yes you do. I just need you to get that through your stubborn head so you stop making stupid decisions that wreck both of our lives unnecessarily".

He looked back at me with a chagrined expression. "I promise to spend the rest of my existence making it up to you, love"

My heart swelled at the term of endearment, bringing my mind back to my initial question.

"Speaking of love, you never really answered me", I teased.

A low laugh grumbled from his chest as he readjusted us back to our comfortable cuddling position.

"I suppose you're right. I got off track." He looked down as me with a sarcastic expression as he tapped the tip of my nose. "I don't think there are rules for this sort of thing. You know as a vampire that all feelings are heightened. The same goes for when we love. Its even more exaggerated with mated pairs. Rose and Emmett were immediately intimate within hours after he transitioned. Please don't ask me how I know this..."

I had to stifle a giggle.

"It was a chore to be around the two of them at first. They were like that for a solid decade, often choosing to live alone. They are still the most physically affectionate of the three. Carlisle and Esme had a connection before she was changed." He looked down at me and asked, "Has Esme shared her story with you?"

"Yes-its so...tragic."

"It is. But I'm sure she told you that she has no regrets. Her life is full. Like I said, their connection was there when Esme was human. Once Carlisle changed her, there was no hesitation. It was as if they had always been together that way." He paused for a second, a faraway looking sweeping over his face. "Despite this, they never made me feel unwanted. I'm just now grasping how hard it probably was for them to be a newly mated vampire couple with a third wheel..." he trailed off, lost in thought a moment before locking eyes with me again and smiling.

"Alice and Jasper-well, I'm sure you've been told that story" he said with a chuckle.

I laughed. "Yes, she likes to tell it often, no matter how many times we've all heard it", I replied.

I could feel Edward's body shake with silent laughter at Alice's antics before I sat up in shock, embarrassment washing over me.

Edward sat up in an instant, his hands on my shoulder. His voice tinged with worry as he prompted, "Bella, whats wrong? What happened?"

I was hiding behind my hands.

"She saw this whole thing!" I said, utterly willing to die from mortification. "She saw us..." I motioned between us. "Well, you know! Oh my God! The whole family knows! Agghh!"

Edward let out the loudest guffaw I'd ever heard, causing me to smack his arm.

"Its not funny!" I yelled back, incredulous at his laughter.

Once he calmed himself, he apologized.

"Sorry, love. Payback and all that" he shrugged with a crooked grin. "In a family of mated vampires, modesty and privacy are rare luxuries. In fact, I'm kind of shocked she gave us the whole weekend. I guess we should use our time alone wisely."

Edward's words had my skin on fire once again, but this time not in shame or embarrassment. My desire hit me full force as he pinned me beneath him once more.