SUMMARY
Oikawa Tooru has always wanted to find his soulmate. It's just so unfortunate that his soulmate wants nothing to do with him.
"I want to be your soulmate, even if I don't believe in them."
― Colleen Hoover
Oikawa Tooru has always wanted to find his soulmate. He's a romantic after all, despite what most think, and he has seen how his parents are so in love with each other. Who wouldn't want something like that?
And so, every day, he would stare at the words written on his skin, those that tell him what his soulmate will first say to him.
'Hey, you! Grand King! Why don't you aim for me?!' it's a weird phrase, but not nearly as weird as he has seen on other's skin, like Iwaizumi's. After all, what kind of person tells someone 'Oi, I'll let you know that grilled mackerel is fantastic' when they first meet?
Well, maybe it's more weird because Iwaizumi absolutely despises mackerel on principle, but that's besides the point.
But back on topic, Tooru has put a lot of thought into his soulmate. He has no idea who they are, of course, but they are supposed to complete him, so Tooru can only say they are perfect, since he has, admittedly, more than a few flaws.
Not that he will ever admit that out loud, of course, but he knows.
And a lot of people are like him too! It's not like he's some kind of weirdo who's obsessed with the idea of soulmates. It's a frequent topic of discussion, whether that be in between classes, or hanging out at a cafe, or while the team changes before and after practice.
So Tooru has more than enough reason to be surprised when he actually meets his soulmate.
It happens, like most of this things do, by accident. He's on his last year of high school, so as much as he would like to try and find his better half, Tooru admits he has a lot of other things to do, like being a good Captain for his volleyball team, practice so he can finally beat Ushijima and go to Nationals, study because he wants to get into a good university next year, and while a sports scholarship would be great, he likes to have back ups and second options in case those offers aren't of his liking, and of course keeping up with his social life.
So no, unfortunately Tooru does not have the time to look for his soulmate, especially when he knows the meeting will happen no matter what he does.
What Tooru does have time for though, is for finding out where Kageyama Tobio is going for high school. It isn't particularly hard, Kindaichi and Kunimi are a great help, and then he doesn't even have to do anything before Karasuno is calling for a practice match! Tooru does ask their coach to ask for a condition, but otherwise it seems like the universe wants him to get his way.
It's all the aliens' doing, he's sure of it.
Of course, nothing ever goes Oikawa Tooru's way. There's always something, a little thing that drags him down. This time, it's his forgotten appointment with the doctor for his knee. He dislocated it during the match against Shiratorizawa last tournament, and it's pretty much healed now, but the doctor still wants to make sure before clearing him for anything that resorts to jumping or running, so he's been forced to work only on the upper half of his body for months now.
Tooru has been expecting this appointment for a while, actually. This is his last one, if everything goes well, and this time Tooru - Iwaizumi - has made sure his knee is in perfect condition. He doesn't want something like a dislocation ruin his chances of ever playing volleyball professionally.
And he's an organized person. He keeps everything of importance annotated on his calendar, puts on alarms and reminders so he doesn't forget to do things, and has an overall great time management.
So of course, when he finds out the practice match against Karasuno is on the same day of his doctor's appointment, of course he blames Kageyama. It has to be his fault, somehow.
Oh well, nothing he can do about it. Tooru can only hope he makes it on time for at least part of the game, but he doesn't get his hopes up. From what he knows, Karasuno isn't an outstanding team or anything, and the only reason he encouraged their coaches to agree to the practice match is because of Kageyama, so he wouldn't be surprise if the match doesn't go into a third set. Either way, if he doesn't make it, he can always make fun of little Tobio-chan for losing even when he wasn't playing on the court, that should be satisfying enough.
Except apparently he underestimated Karasuno's abilities this year. Of course, Kageyama is an annoyance as always, that little brat, but there are other good players. A little rough around the edges, that's for sure, though nothing that practice can't polish. But that small middle blocker…
There's something enthralling about the way he moves around the court, claiming his attention, demanding it. Even as he stretches, Tooru just can't seem to look away. How he jumps, how he spikes, how his eyes shine with joy at every single toss that comes his way. Even with the ton of mistakes he makes, and his obvious lack of form, Tooru can't help but think 'I want to toss for him'.
But he's from Karasuno, he remembers himself as he stands up, stretches ready, Tobio-chan already got to him.
It settles something bitter on the pit of his stomach, knowing that Kageyama beat him to something else. It brings back memories he would like forgotten, but just can't seem to let go of.
Tooru goes in as a pinch server, since he got in so late. The score is 20-24 in Karasuno's favour, but he's confident he can change that around with his serves. His pride and joy, the fruit of constant hardwork and effort. Tooru does not believe in natural talent, and everything he has accomplished has been because he earned it fair and square.
His eyes scan Karasuno's team, looking for the weakest link. There's the small redhead, but he is upfront, so he is of no use right now. The other two at the back are the captain and their number three, and for what Tooru has seen, their the best receivers on the court. The blonde on the other hand… yes, that one should work quite nicely. For good measure, since he's feeling nice - he's not - Tooru points at the blonde with his finger, giving him a warning. Not that it matters either way.
The first serve is an ace. Tooru expects it, of course, and so does his team. Karasuno looks affronted, taken aback by the sheer strength with which the ball breezed past them. Tooru's lips tug into a smug smile. The second and third ones go by in a similar fashion, and he basks under his team's cheers for a second, relishing on the frustrated expression that adorns the blonde's face.
Tooru is going for the fourth serve, just one more to tie, when he hears it.
"Hey, you! Grand King! Why don't you aim for me?! I can take it!" whatever else the little redhead says is lost to his ears, and the only thing Tooru can think of is the tattoo on his arm that says exactly the same, scratchy handwriting painting the words on his skin with black.
His soulmate… that rambunctious middle blocker is his soulmate. A small smile - a genuine one - appears on his lips. His soulmate.
Iwaizumi has to yell at him to get out of the clouds, and Tooru breaks his eyes away from Karasuno's number five, turning to look at his best friend for a second before shacking his head and getting back into the game.
In the time when he'd been day dreaming, Karasuno has formed a new strategy, letting their captain take most of the receiving space. But that's nothing Tooru can't get past of, he just needs to take a bit of the strength to increase the accuracy.
He goes for a fourth serve, careful with his strength, and he tsks when the blonde receives the ball semi-decently. Seems like he took out too much strength, he needs to work on that. But it doesn't matter, since the ball is coming right back at him.
Tooru receives the ball effortlessly, sending it directly for Yahaba to set. Their reserve setter choses Kindaichi, and Tooru is already preparing himself for a deuce when a flash of red catches his eyes.
It's his soulmate, he realises with a gasp. In a matter of seconds, he clears half of the court and jumps, catching up with Kindaichi and touching the ball as he spikes.
Tooru doesn't have time to think about it, because as soon as the redhead touches the floor, he's running to the other side of the court, fast as lightning like it's nothing. He goes for the jump again, and as he waits for the ball to land on his hand, Tooru's eyes widen when he sees the middle blocker looking directly at him. His breath hitches as the ball breezes past him, hitting the floor next to his feet, and ending the match.
He's just too marveled to even care about the loss.
After all the formalities are over, Tooru goes to wait for his soulmate outside. He would prefer if they were alone, as much as he acts like he enjoys attention he likes his private life to stay private, but he's also been waiting for his moment ever since he learnt what the mark on his arm means, so Tooru decides it's worth the audience.
He rests his back against a pillar outside of the school building, near the entrance. Tooru hears them talking before he sees them, and the captain is talking about all the things they need to improve on if they want to beat them - smart choice, Tooru will give him that, but it's impossible to build a good receive in so little time - so he straightens up and turns to look at them.
"Very well said captain. That's surprisingly astute," he says putting on that smile he knows will piss them off.
The reaction is immediate. The bald one, followed by his tiny little soulmate, look at him like he just said they were mere bugs or something - he would never, his soulmate could never be a bug, bugs were horrible! The rest of his team though… - and he waves them off.
"Oh, don't get so flustered," he tells them, and then turns to his soulmate. "Those jumps were amazing, and your spikes too. You should be proud," he tells him, face unconsciously softening as he looks to the one meant to complete him.
Tooru expects some shocked eyes, mouth open wide and stuttering, once the middle blocker realises Tooru is his soulmate.
What he gets is a bit different.
His eyes widen, yes, and his mouth opens, but his complexion pales at least a few tones, and his figure turns to stone. When he opens his mouth, it is not a stutter what comes out.
"No." the word is dry, terminant, and for a moment Tooru doesn't know what it means. Karasuno is looking confused too, obviously missing a huge chunk of the exchange.
"W-What do you mean 'no'?" Tooru has to ask, because if it means what he thinks it means… but that's not possible. Right?
"I know what you want, I'm not an idiot. No. I don't need a soulmate, and I most definitely don't want one. So, no." he then keeps walking, not caring that he's leaving his team behind, that he's leaving Tooru behind before he even introduced himself.
Something inside of him breaks.
There's no such thing as soulmate rejection. Firstly because it doesn't work like that, two people are bonded forever and that's not something anyone can change. But also, why would anyone want to? Tooru has never met someone like this before. Sure, platonic soulmates exist, and the pair usually becomes really close friends, or are already family by blood, but that still requires both parties to… you know, accept the other's existence.
It figures his own soulmate wouldn't want him. After all, nothing ever works his way.
Tooru leaves Karasuno's team, all former ideas in his head of issuing a formal challenge to Kageyama forgotten. He goes back to the gym, where he helps cleaning up in silence, and doesn't even complain when Iwaizumi calls him an idiot and to stop being so quiet, it's creeping me out.
On the way home, he doesn't speak. Iwaizumi does all the talking, at first trying to get him to tell him what is wrong, and then just filling the silence until they break apart, houses merely seven and a half meters from each other - they have measured it before, so he's sure - and tells him he'll see him tomorrow.
Tooru's house is empty. His father is off working, and his mother has gone to see his sister, so both won't be coming home until later. He calls out a greeting purely because of habit, and after taking his shoes off, he goes to his room, full of volleyball posters, collectible alien figurines, textbooks, and the complete collection of the X-Files.
His body hits the mattress of his bed with an empty thud, and Tooru doesn't move, doesn't do anything.
It figures his own soulmate wouldn't want him. After all, nothing ever works his way.
But, he thinks, a small smirk tugging on the edge of his lips, that doesn't meant I'm not going to work hard for what I want. That's how I've done things all my life, after all.
Finding out his soulmates name is surprisingly easy, given that Tooru doesn't really know anything about him except that his hair is orange, has brown eyes, is tiny, can jump ridiculously high, and apparently does not need nor want a soulmate. His words, not Tooru's.
But after asking sweet innocent Kindaichi if he knows who that small middle blocker from Karasuno is, the first year tells him he heard Kageyama call him Hinata.
After that, it's as simple as to look up the prefecture's oficial registry, which is of public access on the internet. Even with the amount of Hinatas out there, there's no way Tooru could ever mistake that fluffy orange hair.
Hinata Shouyou, age fifteen, borned an raised in Miyagi. Tooru decides not to look more further than that, since it would be weird, but he does look up how to get to Karasuno High School, just for future reference.
He has to tell Iwaizumi. Or more, Iwaizumi gets tired of his fidgeting and spacing out, and forces him to tell him what's got his panties on a twist. After that, it's just too easy for the words to fall from his mouth, spilling like one big waterfall.
His best friend listens, a single eyebrow raised the whole time as Tooru talks about how incredible Hinata's jumps were, and did you see how his whole face lit up when he spiked? He also listens when Tooru, in more hushed tones, sulkily tells him about what his soulmate said to him before leaving, and how he doesn't understand, did I do something wrong?
Iwaizumi's face scrunches at that, as if the thought were forheing.
"I… no. You did nothing wrong Tooru. He probably has some problems of his own with the topic, but that's not your fault," he says, and something in Tooru's chest lightens, like a weight he hadn't known about before now lifted.
"Oh. Thanks Iwa-chan."
"Whatever. Come on, let's clean up and go home, it's late."
He waits a week, since any less would be kind of pushy, but Tooru is riding the train next Friday after school, foregoing training in favour of going to see his soulmate. The train ride is a bit long too, so he should arrive just after Karasuno is done with their own training, and if not… well, he certainly wouldn't mind the time to calm his nerves.
The truth is, Tooru has no idea what to do. This is the first time he has ever heard of a person not wanting a soulmate, refusing to even talk to them even after they've already met. This— this situation is unknown territory for him, and honestly? He's more than a little scared. What if Hinata really doesn't want anything to do with him? What if he doesn't give Tooru a chance? No matter how much he wants it, if Hinata doesn't, then… then what can he do? Tooru won't force him, he could never, but… then what would that mean?
His thoughts eat him alive as he waits just outside of Karasuno High School. It's already getting dark, and judging by the time and the other groups of students leaving after their own practice, Tooru suspects they're about to be done shortly. His palms are sweaty, and his heart rate picks up by the second, beating loudly in his ears. He doesn't know why he's so nervous, Tooru isn't like this. He's composed and suave, confident on himself and his own abilities. He has never before feared his soulmate wouldn't swoon at the sight of him.
Then again, his soulmate did flip him off before he could even tell him his name, so maybe his fear is justified.
Which is why, when instead of Hinata, is Sugawara Koushi who spots him and approaches him, waving away the rest of the team, Tooru freezes up.
Sugawara doesn't look at him with any kind of resentment, or judgement. He just smiles, that pleasant smiles of him, and asks him a question.
"Hello. Is there something I can help you with?" it's a straightforward question, something Tooru should have been able to answer without problems, but suddenly his mouth is dry, and his throat closes painfully.
"I-I… I just wanted to talk with H-Hinata? If that's okay?" he doesn't like how his voice is coming out, nervous and insecure. Tooru has always portrayed himself as a strong individual, who fights for what he wants and takes pride on his own accomplishments. He doesn't do anything like nervousness.
"He's staying for some extra practice with Kageyama." the thought of Kageyama, that menace, staying alone with his soulmate, makes Tooru's blood boil. Not only because he is possessive, but because it's Tobio-chan, of all people, and that pisses him off. Why can't Hinata practice some more with Tooru? "Is it because of what he said the other day?" Sugawara is nice enough to fill in the spot for him, and Tooru, still not really over the knowledge of his soulmate staying late with his annoying kohai, nods hesitantly, albeit grateful. "Well, he did seem shaken up after that, and he didn't talk to anyone of what happened after that. I'm guessing you two are soulmates?" another nod, less hesitant this time.
"But he… well you saw it. He didn't even let me tell him my name," he sounds more dejected that he would have liked, but Tooru keeps going either way. "I guess I came here to talk to him, but I won't interrupt him if he's busy, I don't want to give him another reason to hate me," the words spill out before Tooru can stop them. It's true though. He isn't sure if it's wise to try and talk to him right now, not with Kageyama listening, and not when he's practicing. But maybe… Tooru looks at Sugawara, still smiling kindly at him, and an idea pops into his mind. "But could you… tell him I was here? And that I want to talk with him?"
Sugawara takes a long look at him, as if to make sure his intentions are pure and that he can trust him with the first year, before his expression softens again and he nods.
"Of course. I can't make any promises, but if you give me your number, I can give it to him," he offers, and while normally Tooru would make a joke about how much of a strange way of asking for his number this is, he just nods gratefully, if only a bit too excited, and takes Sugawara's offered phone to put in his contact information.
"Thank you Sugawara. I just… I don't know, I want to know why he doesn't even want to get to know me, you know?" because even if his reputation may have reached his ears - though he really hopes it hasn't - Hinata's words seem to go far more deep than some unsavory comments about him.
They part ways shortly after that, Tooru making his way back to the train station, hands shoved on his pockets, and Sugawara joining the rest of his team, that's talking animatedly in front of a convenience store, eating what seems to be steam buns.
The days that follow are a mix of nervousness, anxiety, and trying to balance that with his daily life. He needs to finish that essay for his History class that's due in three days, Coach Irihata wants him to check on the different lineups they have for the Qualifiers, his sister asked him to watch over Takeru for the evenings that week since she and her husband have to go to Tokyo for some wedding, and his mother wants him to go grocery shopping.
Hinata hasn't called.
That's fine, Tooru thinks as he holds two different avocados with his hands, trying to figure out which one is more mature. He's at the store, picking up those groceries his mother wants. He's giving the two avocados a light squeeze when a when a flash of orange catches his eyes, and he turns around just to see Hinata looking him like a deer caught in headlights.
After a moment of shock, Tooru drops the avocados back with the others at the stall, and starts walking towards his soulmate just when the other turns around and starts walking away.
Oh, no, he thinks as he goes after Hinata, not again. Not without letting me talk first.
"Wait! Please, just hear me out for a second!" Tooru calls out to his soulmate, and after a few seconds, the redhead stops, but doesn't turn around. "Your name is Hinata Shouyou, right? I-I asked around, since I never caught it during the practice match." Tooru almost cringes at how insecure he sounds, and only imagines how worse he must look. Ugh, why can't he just act cool and collected like he always does?
"Yes." he still hasn't turned around, and his answer is cutting if not apathetic. But it's the first answer he's gotten from him that isn't an outright negative, so Tooru will take it.
He takes a few more steps, enough so he can turn around and look at his soulmate face to face.
He's really small, at the most 165 centimeters of height, and now that he's off the court he doesn't look as imposing and intense. But Tooru marvels all the same, because this person is meant to complete him, and just that is enough to make him perfect in his eyes.
His lips are dry, and he nervously passes his tongue across them to try and wet them. Hinata looks less than impressed, and even a bit apprehensive.
"My name is Oikawa Tooru, I'm not sure if you know?" the deadpan expression of the redhead doesn't change, and Tooru struggles on how to follow. "I, um, came to see you at your school the other day, but you were still practicing, so I asked Sugawara Koushi if—"
"I know. He gave me your number."
"O-Oh." so that means he hasn't called on purpose. "So, about what you said that day…"
Hinata's eyes harden at the mention of that conversation - if that exchange of words can be considered a conversation, that is - and Tooru almost regrets ever talking to his soulmate. Almost.
"I don't want a soulmate, Oikawa. I don't need that kind of thing, not now, not ever." he sounds terminant, and his chocolate eyes meet Tooru's hazel ones. "I'm sorry if you expected anything else, but that's just how it is. Have a good day," the boy then turns around, leaving Tooru standing there, heart a little bit more broken, and hopes definitely more crushed.
When he gets home, grocery-less, and eyes glassy with unspilled tears, his mother asks him what happened. Tooru doesn't know how to tell her his soulmate just rejected him for a second time back at the store, so he just shakes his head and heads back to his room. His mother lets him.
Tooru goes directly to his window, opening it and taking the pair of paper cups full of drawings, united with a string of thin rope, and throws one of the cups through Iwaizumi's own open window.
He only has to wait for a minute or two before Iwaizumi appears on the window's frame, brow raised before he notices Tooru's face, at what he picks up the paper cup and tugs so the rope tenses and they can talk. They've had the same pair of makeshift phones ever since they were seven, when they decided they needed to have a way to communicate in case of an alien invasion.
It doesn't matter that they both have phones, and literally live seven and a half meters away from each other. The cups are always used when they need to talk about really important things, if they're not in the same room to begin with.
Iwaizumi raises the cup to his mouth, and Tooru puts his own cup near his ear.
"What happened?" his voice still holds the gruff of Iwaizumi's usual tone of voice, but it's softer somehow, like he's going the extra mile for his best friend.
"I talked to him today. And he said he doesn't want a soulmate. Ever," there's a slight quiver on his voice, and Tooru has to swallow the lump on his throat, trying in vain to hold the tears from spilling.
"Do you want me to come over?"
"Yes." his voice finally breaks, and Iwaizumi lets go of the paper cup, getting out of his room, and then his house, practically bursting into Tooru's room less than a minute after that.
Iwaizumi Hajime isn't one to usually show affection. He scoffs at Tooru's flirtatious ways, and prefers to focus on things that matter, like volleyball, school, and his single mother. But Iwaizumi Hajime is also a good friend, so Tooru isn't surprised when his childhood best friend takes a single look at him before enveloping him in a hug, letting him rest his head against his chest so he can cry his eyes out.
And maybe… maybe that's what he needs, Tooru muses as his tears stain Iwaizumi's hoodie. After all, if his soulmate really doesn't want anything to do with him, it's not like Tooru can force him to do anything.
His chest constricts painfully either way.
Tooru decides to let the matter go. He tried, and he failed, there's nothing else he can do. Hinata obviously has no care for him, and Tooru does know how to take social cues, despite what many may think.
It still hurts, sometimes, especially when he looks at his wrist and sees the words written on his skill with that scratchy handwriting, reminding him of how he felt when he heard them, when he saw Hinata soaring on the court.
His team worries about him. He knows. They're not really that subtle as they go ask Iwaizumi what's up with him, why does he gets caught up on his own thoughts more often than not during practice, and how he keeps looking at a specific part of the gym sometimes. Tooru pretends not to notice, because it's easier to play dumb and have Iwaizumi deflect the questions than to come clean and have them asking questions to him instead.
At least, this way he gets to think of his soulmate unbothered.
Matsukawa and Hanamaki are a bit harder to shake off. Unlike the rest of the team, they are not afraid to push his buttons, and try to sneak in comments to make him spill whatever it is he's hiding from them. Tooru knows he should tell them soon, if only because they are really close friends, but… well, he really, really doesn't want to.
His parents ask him too. When his father brings up the topic during dinner one night, Tooru stiffens, and chokes out a small 'I really don't want to talk about it'. And when his mother asks him to go grab groceries, he bullshits some excuse of being busy with an essay he already finished two days ago, because he doesn't want to go back in the off chance of seeing his soulmate again.
But those are just moments, and all in all, Tooru thinks he's doing okay. Or well, as okay as he can be when his soulmate doesn't want to see his face. He's getting over it, which is what matters, and that's the end of it. Hopefully, there will be no more mopping around - not that he mopes, that's just Iwa-chan being mean as always - and he will be back at his feet by the time the Qualifiers are here, when Tooru is sure to bump into the redhead. Not like he plans to see him before that, really.
Which is why, when he actually does, it takes a moment to process, and then another more for good measure.
He's walking back home, alone for the first time in months. Iwaizumi is sick, so he's back at home, and Tooru plans on visiting him to hand him his notes for the day and see how he's holding up. Iwaizumi doesn't get sick often, but when he does, it's pretty bad, so Tooru worries.
The path from school to his neighborhood includes walking behind a small bridge. It's nothing fancy, and there isn't even water under the bridge. It's a shortcut, one he and Iwazumi found during their first year of high school. It's a lot faster than to go over the rode, where they have all the traffic lights to worry about.
Tooru hums a nonsensical melody, not really knowing where it's coming from, but willing to make use of it to fill the silence. Said humming stops when he sees a figure against the wall under the bridge. It's a strange sight, since no one is ever there, but then he sees that distinguishable mop of fluffy orange hair, and his brain stops for a moment.
What is he doing here? Least to say, this is no normal place for anyone to be at, especially when it's already so late there's barely any light left.
"Hinata?" he asks hesitantly as he approaches the boy, and he stops when Hinata's head whips around to look at his direction, tensing when he sees it's Tooru. He keeps moving though, when the redhead huffs and turns around again. "Are you okay? What are you doing out here so late?"
"None of your business." the words sting, even as Tooru tries to convince himself that it's okay. After all, he's right. There's nothing going on between them, right?
"I just want to know if you are okay, you don't need to worry about any of the soulmate stuff. If you don't want it, that's fine but… well, it's really late, and I didn't peg you for the type to go sleeping under bridges, you know?" that gets him a reaction. Hinata looks at him again, a critical air around him, as if to try and decide if he is being genuine or if it is a trick to make him more receptive to the soulmate thingy.
"It's nothing. Just… nothing," he doesn't make a move to leave, though, so Tooru takes that as an invitation to sit down with him. When he takes the space next to the redhead, he looks at him surprised, and a little bit suspicious. "What are you doing?"
"Well, it doesn't really sound like nothing, but I'm not going to force you to tell me anything. I don't want to leave you here alone though, so I'll make you company and then I can take you home."
"I'm not coming home tonight, so don't bother," the words seem to slip out of him before he can stop them, accompanied with a scoff and a hardened expression.
That's when Tooru notices something on his left cheek. The lack of light hadn't let him see it, but now that he's close enough, Tooru can see the mix of purple and blue painting Hinata's face. His face hardens when he notices the bruice is hand-shaped, like a slap.
"Who did that to you?" his voice comes out harsh and cold, laced with worry, and Hinata stiffens, slowly looking back at his soulmate.
"Do what?" Hinata's words are careful, as if he were trying to play innocent but knowing full well what's going on.
"Don't play dumb, you know what I'm talking about. Your cheek. Who did it?"
"It's nothing."
"Nothing? Shouyou, that looks like someone slapped you really hard," Tooru doesn't even dwell on the sudden use of his soulmate's given name, more preoccupied with the dark bruise. "Who did this?"
"I don't want to talk about it," he then looks at Tooru's face, and a small sigh escapes his lips. "Look, it really is nothing. I'm okay."
"Does it have something to do with why you're not going home tonight?"
"No." Tooru knows immediately that Hinata is lying, but looking at how the redhead holds himself, he decides not to touch the topic right now.
"... Alright. You can stay at my house for the night. My parents won't mind, and you can use the futon," he finds himself saying, and for a moment Tooru has no idea what possesses him to offer, especially knowing how averse Hinata is of his company and overall existence, but he doesn't take it back.
"That's—"
"Or maybe you want me to call one of your teammates to tell them where you are and that someone obviously slapped you hard enough to leave a bruise?" Hinata doesn't say anything, but Tooru knows his answer either way. "That settles it then. Come on, I don't live far."
Hinata doesn't put much resistance after that, sighing and trailing behind him. Tooru keeps an eye on him either way, as if scared the boy would ditch him as soon as he could. But he doesn't and both of them arrive to the Oikawa household without any incidents.
"Pardon the intrusion," Tooru hears him say as they both get in and he calls for anyone home. His mother appears from the kitchen moments later, not even questioning Hinata's presence as she introduces herself as Oikawa Minami, and asks if he's staying for dinner.
"Actually, Okaa-san. Can Shou-chan stay here tonight?" he asks, smiling slightly at the squeak Hinata does when he hears the nickname, and his mother turns to look at him. Her smile is still present, but her eyes have narrowed slightly. She's not a fool, and she has of course noticed the bruise in Hinata's cheek. She's just polite enough not to mention it, but now that her son is asking if the boy can stay the night…
"Of course! You two go upstairs and take out the futon, and I'll call when dinner is ready, alright?" she says brightly, and Hinata blushes if only slightly as he thanks her before Tooru directs him to his room.
Hinata has no bag, or anything with him, so Tooru figures he just got out of his house without anything else than what he had on at the moment. The brunet frowns at the thought, but tells Hinata to wait there as he goes for the futon.
When he gets back, also with an ice packet for Hinata's cheek, the redhead is sitting on the edge of Tooru's bed, looking curiously but cautious around himself.
Tooru's room is full of alien references, the ceiling has glowing-in-the-dark-starts that he and Iwaizumi put there when they were eight, walls covered by volleyball posters. There are a few volleyballs, textbooks, his laptop, the entire collection of the X-Files, and a telescope. All in all, Tooru supposes there are weirder things to find in a room.
"Here," he says, handing him the ice pack as he leaves the futon on a corner for later use. "It should help with the swelling. I think I have some ointment for that too, but lets see how it does with the ice first, okay?"
"Why are you helping me?" he asks instead, and Tooru has to stop for a second to look at him.
"What do you mean?"
"I mean, are you trying to convince me of going along with this soulmate stuff? Because as much as I appreciate this, I won't."
"No, I— I wasn't thinking of that. I'm actually just concerned for your safety, that's all," he says, and a part of him, the petty one, relishes on the guilty expression that washes over Hinata's face. He pushes those thoughts down.
"Oh," he says it like he finds it shocking, which is actually concerning. "Thank you."
"You're welcome," he says, a soft smile that he rarely uses on his lips. "And for the record… if you ever need somewhere to stay, you can just come here. And that's not because we're soulmates."
"... Okay."
After that event Hinata seems to grow less wary of him. Turns out, they live pretty close. When Tooru asks him why does he attend Karasuno when Aoba Johsai is so much closer, the redhead surprises him when he says he is willing to do the thirty minute trip back and forth on his bike by the mountains because of the Small Giant, something Tooru finds both endearing and manic. There's a part of him that wonders, dreams of what could have happened of Hinata had gone to Aoba Johsai instead, if they had had another first meeting, hopefully one where Hinata didn't hate his guts. The other part tries to shut those dreams down, because they hurt and they only get his hopes up.
They do bump into each other fairly often though, as if that, now that they know they don't live far, it's impossible to ignore each other's presence. It's not like Hinata looks excited to see him, but he waves, and smiles, and they strike conversation until their paths divert again. During one of those times, Tooru hits the jackpot and manages to get the boy's phone number, and since then the two start texting about anything that comes to mind.
(His chest bubbles with giddiness when he finds out Hinata saved his contact information when Sugawara gave it to him, and he can't help but laugh happily every time he sees the contact 'Shou-chan 3' saved on his phone.)
Then, it's just too easy for them to schedule a meeting at the public courts, where they spend evenings turned nights, Tooru setting the ball, and Hinata spiking it every time. It feels as good as Tooru thought it would the first time he saw his soulmate soaring in the air, ball coming to his palm like it was a magnet. Tooru relishes in the thought, because he now tosses to this boy regularly, and that's something even Kageyama can't take away from him.
Tooru has to tell Iwaizumi of this new development. Or more, Iwaizumi notices he's not mopping anymore, and forces him to tell him what happened, so Tooru is forced to confess. You know, the usual.
At first, Iwaizumi is reluctant, more out of concern for his best friend than anything, but in the end he relents and even comes by while Hinata is staying over to say hi. To say Hinata is surprised the first time it happens is an understatement.
Hinata does come back to his house again, sometimes telling him beforehand through text, and sometimes knocking on the door unannounced because he doesn't have his phone with him. Tooru always asks who is it, but when Hinata says he doesn't want to talk about it, he leaves the topic alone. Hinata will tell him, one day, when he feels comfortable enough. For now, all he can do is treat the bruises with ice and ointment, and hope that whatever it is that's happening to him, it's nothing too bad.
That is, until Tooru sees blood.
He's up in his bedroom, racking his brain for some words to bullshit his Literature project with, eyes constantly going back to the pile of DVDs he just got to review the matches of the last Spring Tournament's Qualifiers, when his phone pings, alerting him of a new message.
It's pretty late, so Tooru guesses it could be either Iwaizumi, Hanamaki being little shit and sending him memes, or maybe Kunimi, his fellow insomniac. Either way, all options are more important than his project (they're not, Tooru just wants a distraction and he just got one), so he picks up his phone. Instead of his previous guesses, his phones lights up and a message from 'Shou-chan 3'pops in on the screen.
That's weird. Hinata doesn't text this late. He doesn't question it though, and opens the chat.
Shou-chan 3: hey can i come over?
Oikawa-san: sure u dont have to ask u know?
Oikawa-san: are u far? my parents are sleeping so i dont wanna wake them
Shou-chan 3: five mins?
Oikawa-san: kay
Tooru takes his phone with him as he goes to wait downstairs. True to his word, five minutes later there's a soft knock on the door, and Tooru goes to open it.
Out of habit, he examins Hinata from top to bottom as soon as he steps in, murmuring something for the intrusion as he always does, and leaving his shoes by the door.
His face is bruised near his scalp, and his lip is busted. It doesn't look like someone did it, but Tooru can never know, so he tells the redhead to go upstairs and wait for him while he goes to get the futon and some ice.
"I left some clothes for you to change into, alright? They're in my bed. I'll be back in a second," Hinata nods, and Tooru leaves him to look for what he needs.
When he comes back, futon in hand and a bowl with two ice packs and a towel, he almost drops everything when he sees Hinata. He's changing, and his chest is exposed. When Tooru sees the bruised skin, his eyes widen, because it's never been this bad, and then he sees the gash near his ribcage, and he almost loses it.
"Oh my God, what happened to you?" he says as he hurries inside the room, closing the door behind him and leaving everything by the bed.
"I fell down the stairs," Hinata says, and he sounds truthful, but… Tooru examines his face, trying not to look too much at his bleeding lip, and focusing on his eyes. He can always tell when Hinata is hiding something from his eyes.
He is telling the truth. He did fall from the stairs. But as clumsy as Hinata can be sometimes, Tooru being a witness of that many times while on the court or shopping groceries, or knocking down a book… he would never fall from the stairs. His reflexes are too good for that. So that means…
"Did someone push you down the stairs?" his voice is low, and there's an edge of fury that he has to push down so he doesn't scare the small redhead in front of him. Hinata shrinks anyways, trying to make himself small and breaking eye contact with Tooru. That's enough for him to know he's correct.
Tooru wants to shout. He wants to break something, someone, whoever did this to his soulmate. If he has been mad about the bruises, now he's sure he could go and beat the one responsible to a pulp right now.
But he doesn't want to scare Hinata, and his soulmate comes first. He needs to take care of that gash to see if it's something too serious, make sure he doesn't have to take Hinata to the hospital, and prevent it from getting infected. So he takes a deep breath, and focuses.
The gash itself isn't that bad, but it's not a clean cut, so his skin probably got caught in something. Tooru tells Hinata to wait for him a moment, going to the bathroom to fill the bowl with water and take the first aid kit. Tooru doesn't think the cut needs stitches or anything like that, but he feels safer disinfecting it than only cleaning it with water.
When he comes back, Hinata is still shirtless, and Tooru notices a patch of skin on his arm full of black spots. His soul mark, no doubt. Tooru looks away.
Sitting next to him on the bed, Tooru grabs the towel and puts it in the water-filled bowl, squeezing the excess of water once it's wet. Silently, he looks at Hinata, who's looking at the water.
"Can I?" he asks, and hesitantly, Hinata nods.
Gently, Tooru carefully cleans the blood from Hinata's busted lip from his face with small touches, and then he cleans the towel with the water in the bowl before doing the same with the gash on his side.
After the blood is gone, Tooru admits that the gash is a lot less terrifying, and a few touches of disinfectant are enough to clean the would and put a bandage on it so no germs get in.
"Is there blood anywhere else?" after a shake of Hinata's head, Tooru goes to empty the bowl at the bathroom, leaving there everything but the ice packs. When he gets back, Hinata already has one of his alien shirts on, and is unrolling the futon. "Let me do that, don't strain yourself."
"I'm not invalid," Hinata mutters, and Tooru turns around sharply.
"Someone pushed you down the stairs Shouyou, I'm actually surprised you got off this easy. So if I say you won't strain yourself, you won't." Hinata doesn't say anything, just looking at him. He's been really quiet ever since he arrived, actually. But taking the circumstances into consideration, Tooru doesn't blame him for not being particularly chatty. Sighing, he finishes with the futon, and sits down on it. "You can take my bed, I don't mind."
"What? No, I'm already freeloading here, I won't take your bed," Tooru would have smiled, because this is more like the Hinata he knows, but the bruises he can still see on his face and neck chase away any fun he may have.
"You're not— freeloading, Shou-chan. I offered to let you stay every time you needed, and now you certainly do. Someone, and I have my suspisions as of who, has been beating you every other day, and now they pushed you down the fucking stairs. That's. That's not normal, Shouyou, and it needs to stop. I need you to tell me who did this," Tooru looks at his soulmate, who has become more than a mere fantasy living in his mind. Hinata is, in one word, perfect. Or well, perfect for Tooru. The redhead is loud, and sometimes he talks too much, and he gets too excited about things. He's hotheaded, and doesn't think things through. But that's exactly what Tooru needs, because he's also considerate, and funny, and so passionate about what he loves. He works hard, he's no genius, and he still thrives. He makes Tooru feel like he doesn't need to pretend to be anything other than himself.
There's a beat of silence, when none of them says anything. For a moment, Tooru thinks Hinata won't say anything, or worse, will tell him he doesn't want to talk about it like every other time he has asked. But then the redhead opens his mouth, and he finally speaks.
"It… it's not normal?" and he looks so tiny, so broken, like his world has just shattered into millions of pieces. Tooru's heart clenches painfully as he sees Hinata curl up in a ball, brown eyes staring back at him, begging for an answer.
Whoever did this to him, whoever dared to make Hinata believe it's normal to be beaten black and blue every day, is going to pay. Because Hinata is the most precious to him, and Tooru would die before seeing him like this— small, broken, scared again.
"It's not, Shouyou. I promise you, it's not," he whispers back, holding back the tears when he sees Hinata's eyes watering at the revelation.
"... My dad." Tooru almost doesn't hear the whisper, but he does, and it's enough. Moments later, he's wrapping his arms around his tiny soulmate, resting his chin against the top of his fluffy orange hair, his heart breaking when he feels Hinata's trembling body against him. Tooru holds him near him, combing his hair with one hand in a soothing manner as he keeps his own trembling in check, until Hinata all but melts against his chest, heartbeat no longer beating loudly and fast.
Tooru's mind is going overdrive too, thinking of how to keep his soulmate safe. He doesn't like that he's scared, can't bear the sight of his terrified frame. All he wants to do is keep him close to him, far away from the person that is harming him. His own father, God.
And Tooru can. He can, and he will.
"You are not coming back to that house, alright? You'll be staying here," Tooru tells him trying to reassure him, but the redhead pulls apart at those words, eyes blown wide and head shaking in negation.
"No, I can't leave! I… I have a little sister, Natsu, and my mom. I can't just leave them with him, you can't, you can't force me to stay while they are still with him, you can't—" Hinata starts going faster, breaths more superficial, repeating himself in a spiral of panic, and nothing Tooru tells him seems to work. He's too scared to understand any of it, so Tooru does the only thing he thinks of.
He kisses Hinata on the lips.
It's just lips pressing against lips. No moving, no tongue, no nothing. There are no fireworks like the stories describe it, and Tooru doesn't really feel anything different. But Hinata freezes up just the same, and then pulls apart. Before he can start freaking out again, Tooru puts a hand against his mouth.
"I'm sorry, you were panicking and I couldn't think of anything else," he says, smiling apologetically as he lets his hand leave Hinata's mouth in hopes of earning his soulmate's forgiveness.
"Y-You… you kissed me."
"I did."
Hinata looks at him directly in the eye, as if he were searching something. Tooru holds his breath, not really knowing why but not able to not do it either. This feels important, for some reason, lIke it will define whatever happens next. Hinata seems to find what he's looking for, whatever that is, because he sighs, breathless and expectant, and speaks again.
"Do it again."
Hinata Shouyou has never wanted to meet his soulmate. Or well, most of his life, he hasn't.
There was a time, once, when he dreamed of his other half. Of someone who would complete him, make him better.
But then his father started beating his mother, and the feeling faded.
Why would he ever want a soulmate if they hurt him? Shouyou doesn't want someone that'll make him feel pain. He doesn't like the pain, he doesn't like how his mother sobs silently after a kick on her stomach, slowly standing up to go clean whatever mess his drunk of a father made that time, or how Natsu cries in fear each time he steps between her and their father.
Is that what love is? Pain?
Well, if that's the case, he doesn't want it.
Shouyou always tries to ignore the words written on his skin, that beautiful handwriting so different from his own. 'Those jumps were amazing, and your spikes too. You should be proud.' Those words are one of the reasons he got into volleyball, as much as he doesn't like to admit it. Hinata doesn't regret it. Volleyball is his passion, his reason to pull through and work hard. If he does, and he goes pro, then he can get his mother out, he can get his sister out. Anything to get them away from that monster he calls his father.
But when he hears those words, those same words he has memorized from time and time again of looking at them when he can't sleep, hating the feeling of reassurance he always gets from them, his world stops. He freezes, for a second, because the person in front of him is no other than Oikawa Tooru, Aoba Johsai's Volleyball Captain. This man is supposed to be his soulmate? This guy, who is supposed to be an amazing setter, even better than Kageyama. This man, who made Captain. This man, who lightened up the mood of his team with one phrase.
Shouyou feels like he could vomit.
His father used to be amazing like that too. It's a faint memory, from before he started drinking, from before his temper stopped being a fleeting, unusual thing and became a raging inferno awaiting for its pray every day.
If he can become a monster, then why can't Oikawa Tooru?
Shouyou ignores the hurt expression he sees when he rejects him. Monsters aren't always visible, monsters can appear beautiful too. Monsters come in all forms and shapes, just like the bruises do.
He tries to ignore the nagging feeling at the pit of his stomach that tells him to go back, to call for his soulmate and ask for forgiveness. His mother has asked forgiveness for things she shouldn't have. Look at where that has gotten her.
He hears from his soulmate a week later. He came to see him last Friday, Sugawara tells him, but left when he was told Shouyou was still practicing. He did ask for Sugawara to pass him his phone number.
"Hinata, I don't know why you don't want to associate yourself with him, but Oikawa looked pretty sad the other day. Just think about it," says his Vice Captain, a gentle smile gracing his lips as usual.
Shouyou thanks him, even though he wants to scowl. Why would he want that man's phone number?
He saves the contact information anyways.
Shouyou avoids any kind of soulmate talk for a few weeks. Sugawara tries to talk to him once, but Shouyou is skilled in avoiding topics he doesn't want to discuss, so the setter ultimately leaves him alone.
He comes in late for morning practice once, because his father kicked him in the ribs the night before in a fit of anger, and Shouyou finds he can't bike to school that day, so he has to take the train. When Kageyama asks - yells, at which he carefully doesn't flinch - why he's late, Shouyou only says he slept through his alarm. Better than that say he had to make sure that bastard hadn't touched Natsu before he passed out in the living room from alcohol intake.
Then, after a torturous day of practicing with the feeling of his bruised skin stretching painfully every time he spikes, jumps, or breathes, going to class, being pushed by Kageyama while they raced to the clubroom, and practicing some more, he sees a text from his mother asking for some groceries.
Oh well, it's not that bad. Or at least he thinks it's not until he finds Oikawa again, at the store. Shouyou feels like dying for a moment. He really doesn't want to speak to him in a good day, let alone right now when he only wants to crash on his bed and die until the next day. His ribs hurt, and only years of experience with misplaced kicks keep him from whimpering in pain.
"Wait! Please, just hear me out for a second!" when Oikawa calls for him, Hinata stops despite wanting to leave. "Your name is Hinata Shouyou, right? I-I asked around, since I never caught it during the practice match." Oikawa sounds weird, like he's scared, but Shouyou knows better. Acts can be put up easily, just like they can break.
For some reason, he still feels compelled to answer, even if it's just a short answer.
"Yes." his chest hurts less after he says it, as if his heart needed him to speak to his soulmate. Shouyou scowls, he doesn't need a soulmate. He doesn't need the hurting, the toxic dependence.
Oikawa keeps going, walking until they are face to face. Shouyou makes everything in his power to keep his expression straight. He doesn't want to give this guy any ideas. But his face falters when he sees the pure look of adoration in Oikawa's eyes. Is this some kind of trick? Another plan to make him fall, now that the usual method didn't work?
Shouyou tries to keep his beating heart in check, blood pumping loudly in his ears. He tries to keep his face as expressionless as he can, and he thinks he succeeds.
"My name is Oikawa Tooru, I'm not sure if you know?" he does, but Shouyou won't tell him that. "I, um, came to see you at your school the other day, but you were still practicing, so I asked Sugawara Koushi if—"
"I know. He gave your number."
"O-Oh." the kicked puppy look in his face almost makes Shouyou feel guilty. Almost. "So, about what you said that day…"
Shouyou glowers at his words. Of course this is the only thing he wants. He's not even being subtle about it. Doesn't he understand that he has no interest in him? Or maybe he does but doesn't care.
"I don't want a soulmate, Oikawa. I don't need that kind of thing, not now, not ever." when his eyes meet Oikawa's, he has to concentrate so he doesn't drown in that pool of hazel. "I'm sorry if you expected anything else, but that's just how it is. Have a good day," then, he turns around, bolting before those eyes and broken expression convince him to come back and ask for his forgiveness. Shouyou has nothing to feel sorry about, no matter how heartbroken his soulmate looks as he leaves.
He still has to push down the guilt building in the pit of his stomach.
Shouyou doesn't know why he's feeling like this. Why does he keep remembering Oikawa's face, how hurt he had looked when Shouyou turned him down? Why does he want to go find him and tell him he didn't mean it, that he does want to be with him and spend their lives together?
Shouyou doesn't regret it, he stands by his desitions. Soulmates are hurtful, they cause pain and suffering. Soulmates are selfish.
So why, why does his heart keep aching so much?
He finds the answer one day, when he's sitting under a bridge as the night falls. His father is being especially vicious today, and Shouyou can't take it anymore. So after making sure Natsu's bedroom door is locked from the inside, and stroking his sister's hair until she falls asleep, Shouyou gets out of the house from the window. He needs to clear his head, because his thoughts overwhelm him and it makes him question everything he knows.
Throughout his life, there have been a few constants. Soulmates were bad, because they hurt. Volleyball was the best thing that could have ever happened to him. His mother, once a strong woman, is now too weak to fight back, so he has to fight for her. His sister is the most precious to him, and he's willing to do anything for her.
But when his soulmate, someone Shouyou has rejected time and time again, takes him to his house because he finds him sitting under a bridge, doesn't push him when he express his discomfort, and gives him an ice pack and some bruise ointment just because he worries… Shouyou doesn't know what to think anymore.
His father is a piece of shit. He yells, and rages and consumes everything in his path until there's nothing more than broken pieces and shells of what used to be people. But Oikawa… he doesn't behave like his father. Shouyou doesn't know if he's just waiting until the redhead is within his clutches before letting out his true personality, if he really is a monster like his father, or… or if he's being genuine, and he cares.
Caring. How long has it been since someone has genuinely cared?
His father is out of the cuestion, that man is too worried with his bottles full of alcohol and his rage to give a damn about him if he's not there to relieve him from his pent up anger. His mother is too far gone into a cycle of abuse, a toxic relationship she can no longer escape. Natsu cares, of course, but she doesn't take care of him. She's too young, too naïve to understand what's really going on.
His teammates care, he knows, but there's still that wariness when one of them is being a bit too rough, or when in the middle of the silence they yell too loud. His mind immediately goes back to beer bottles shattering against the wall behind him, flinching at the little shards of glass that embed themselves in the arm he uses to shield his face. It's not really their fault, and Shouyou is loud too, most of the time. It helps drowning the thoughts in his head. But sometimes it just becomes too much.
But Oikawa… he cares. He really does care, and he's always so careful, trying not to make him feel uncomfortable. And even when he's not hurt, and they are just talking, he always listens to him, and when Hinata tells him he's bothered by something, he does everything in his power to make it better.
Somehow, he finds himself feeling more comfortable around Oikawa. It's just too easy to talk with him about whatever crosses his mind, no matter how fleeting the thought is, or how deep. Oikawa listens, and puts his input, and makes him feel wanted, important.
So when he falls down the stairs - pushed by his father while on a blind rage - he immediately asks his soulmate if he can stay the night at his house.
Maybe Oikawa is a monster. Maybe he's a predator, waiting until he's weakened by his charms to strike and leave him a mere echo of what he is now. Maybe Hinata is being a fool, just like his mother was, letting himself be caught in the honeytrap of Oikawa's attention, willingly caging himself for the rest of his life until there's nothing left of him to be saved. Maybe Shouyou shouldn't trust him.
But he does, and it doesn't hurt. It doesn't hurt, because it feels so right. The laughs are so genuine, and Oikawa's dorky comments about aliens make him look more human. His drive, his dedication, and his effort to better himself as a volleyball player. How he helps him study for exams without asking for anything in return so he doesn't have to attend remedial classes. The texts here and there, asking about his day and how he's feeling. Oikawa is just exactly what Shouyou has needed his whole life. And for that same reason, when Oikawa kisses him, not because he's taking advantage of him but because he cares and he worries, he asks him to do it again.