Chapter 10:
It had been over a week since Hogan died, and everyone's mood was down on the lowest of levels. Prisoners hardly left their barracks, guards almost did nothing if one of their captives was trying to get on their nerves, and Klink's roll calls were as short as his name. No long winded speeches, no bragging or boasting about Germany or the Third Reich, just 'all were present' and off everyone went. The whole camp seemed to be grim and cloudy, only adding to the depressing and colder weather slowly settling in.
In barracks two, Kinch sat in Hogan's spot at the table with an envelope in his hand, while Kalina sat on the left side of him silently, hugging Hogan's cap against her chest as she stared ahead of her at nothing. Neither one of them said a word to each other, Kalina lost in a state of despondence, while Kinch mentally debated whether to open the envelope or put it off for another day. An envelope that held the last orders Colonel Robert Hogan would ever give. Not only was he weary of what the orders might be, but the fact that it would be the last orders he and his friends ever got from Hogan. The only thing he could do at the moment was read the same words written on the front he had been staring at for days now: 'My boys and little Kalina: Open only in case of my death'.
Kinch let out a heavy breath of air as he briefly took his cap off, ran his hand across his hair, then put it back on and threw the envelope in front of him, still not ready to face what it said inside. "Aw kiddo," he said, not particularly looking at Kalina. "What do you think; should I open it or not?"
He received no answer in return. Just mere silence as Kalina continued to stare at nothing as if she were in some sort of catatonic state. Something she had been experiencing ever since Hogan's memorial service. Though they were all concerned about her, the boys had come to an agreement that it was probably her mind's way of coping with the grief for now. If she was not in her catatonic silent state, she was sobbing her eyes out and yearning for Hogan to come back to her. She would cry and cry and cry until she could not feel anything anymore, then she returned to her silent state, and thus the cycle repeated itself.
Kinch frowned seeing her so heartbroken, and he stuck out his hand to grab one of Kalina's and squeezed it. "He wouldn't want you to be so sad for him, Kalina. He'd want you to smile whenever you thought of him."
Again, Kinch got no answer. The closest thing he got was tears streaming down Kalina's face as she hung her head and hugged Hogan's cap even tighter, shuddering a bit as the grief wracked her body. When she sniffled a couple times, Kinch rubbed her arm for comfort.
"I know, kiddo...I know...I miss him, too."
Kalina sniffled again and buried her face into Hogan's cap, letting out soft weeps every now and then as the door to barracks two opened, and Newkirk, LeBeau, and Carter made their way inside. They spotted the scene at the table, and their low moods sunk even lower. LeBeau let out a sigh and shook his head, while Carter turned his eyes to the ground and stuffed his hands into his jacket pockets.
"I got a feelin' you two are upset for the same reason we are," Newkirk answered, trying to make an attempt at any sort of a conversation.
"Well it sure ain't because I miss the taste of Coca-Cola," Kinch said, hoping it would get a smile out of any of them. He was expectedly disappointed.
"Have you...have you opened the envelope yet?" Carter asked hesitantly.
Kinch let out a heavy breath of air and shook his head. "No, Andrew...I haven't. I can't get myself to do anything other than stare at it."
LeBeau swallowed a lump down his throat and cautiously looked at the sealed white paper lying in the middle of the table. "I wonder what it says inside," he said, particularly to no one.
Kinch grabbed the envelope and fumbled with it for a few moments, slapping it in one of his hand palms. He again shook his head. "I'm not even sure if I want to know what it says inside...I was hoping I'd never have to open it."
Carter sniffled and wiped away the unshed tears threatening to spill over his eyes. "I just...I just can't believe he's gone...We're never gonna see him or hear his voice again." He whimpered.
It was then little Kalina could no longer stay silent. She began to break down and sob uncontrollably, hugging Hogan's cap as tight as her arms possibly could.
Newkirk frowned at the little girl and made his way over to her side. "Come here, little mate," he said, kneeling down on her right and taking her into his arms. He knew it was not the same as one of Hogan's hugs, but he was hoping she could find even the tiniest bit of solace from it.
"Colonel Hogan…" She sobbed violently. "I want Colonel Hogan!"
"I know. I know, little mate, I know...And I'd give him back to you if I could," he told her, tears streaming down his own face.
LeBeau buried his face into his hands, turned around to the bunk bed in front of him, then leaned his forehead against it and cried a bit himself.
Kinch looked back at Hogan's envelope and let out another deep breath of air. He knew he had to open it. The sooner they did, the sooner they could start recovering from their incredible loss. And if he could not do it for himself, then he had to do it for Hogan. He would have wanted them to know his final orders. He would have wanted them to heal as quickly as possible. He would have wanted them to be strong and go on as best as they could without him.
With one last deep breath to ease his nerves, the radioman tore open the envelope, pulled out the rice paper with blue ink written on it, then unfolded the letter, and began reading out loud for all five of them to hear.
"To my boys and my little Kalina, If you're reading this letter, then I want to first start off by telling you do not grieve or cry for me too long. I know it won't be easy, but I know the five of you are strong enough to get through this difficult time. You guys can handle anything as a whole. Pull each other up when one falls, be kind to one another even in stressful times such as this one, and protect each other with your lives. I'll be with you every step of the way, and I'll always be looking out for all of you.
"With that being said, I, Colonel Robert Edward Hogan, leave the following orders to be carried out in the event of my death." Kinch was about to continue reading, when the door to the barracks again opened, and Schultz silently made his way inside. The fluffy sergeant saw all of them in mourning and hated to disrupt their time of grieving, but he still had to follow Klink's orders even in such hard times. He cleared his throat softly, causing Hogan's men and Kalina to all turn their gaze to him. He let out a soft sigh and frowned.
"I'm sorry to disturb you at this time, but Kommandant Klink ordered for a special roll call in five minutes," he said sincerely.
"Roll call!" LeBeau exclaimed.
"The bloody hell he want a roll call for at a bloomin' time like this," Newkirk demanded.
"He says it is very important," Schultz said.
Kinch let out some air through his nose and nodded. "Alright, Schultz," he answered. "We'll be out in a little bit...Just give us a minute."
Schultz nodded and headed for the door, when he paused and turned around to look at them once more. "I am...very, very sorry, Sergeant," he said sincerely.
"Thank you, Schultz," Kinch said.
Schultz sniffled a few times, wiped a few tears away with his finger, then left barracks two without another word, leaving Hogan's men and Kalina in a room filled with brief silence. It was Carter who finally broke it.
"What...what do you think Klink wants?" He asked curiously.
"One way of finding out," Kinch answered, putting Hogan's letter down on the table. He was somewhat relieved to put off reading it for a little longer. He rose to his feet. "Come on, guys. The sooner we get out there, the sooner this roll call will be done and over with."
Everyone followed Kinch's lead and left barracks two in a single file line. When all fourteen men and Kalina were in the compound, no one stirred a single move. No one said a single word. Hogan's men stood in their place of the two lines, and Kalina stood beside Schultz, somewhat using him as a post to keep herself from falling down. But no one had long to wait, when the door to the kommandantur closed, and Klink quietly made his way towards everybody. He exchanged salutes with Schultz and did not even have to give his command. His senior sergeant nodded.
"All present and accounted for, Herr Kommandant," Schultz said somberly.
Klink gave a barely noticeable nod for a response, then turned to the remaining men of barracks two and sighed, not looking forward to this message anymore than Hogan's men and Kalina were. But it had to be addressed. Life at Stalag 13 had to go on, and the death of his Senior POW and dear friend had to be confronted if any of them wanted to move past this rough patch in the road. Wallowing and standing there in sorrow would not bring Hogan back, and Klink had to be the one to remind all of them of that aspect.
The kommandant cleared his throat, closed his eyes for a moment to keep himself together, then began his speech slowly. "Gentlemen...my sweet Kalina...these last ten days have been probably the worst pain imaginable. It's never easy to say 'goodbye' to someone we love so dearly...But I know the last thing Colonel Hogan would've wanted to see was all of you suffer so much. He would have wanted us to remember him with a smile or a laugh...It will take time for that, though...and it will take time to get used to living a life without him here."
Klink paused for a moment to give some of Hogan's men time to collect themselves. Some hung their heads in silence, others tried their best to fight back crying, but failed miserably. Little Kalina buried her teary-eyed face into Hogan's hat and shook her head, feeling one of Schultz's large hands gently pat her shoulder for comfort.
Klink thought on his next words carefully and licked his lips before resuming his speech. "No one will ever take Colonel Hogan's place. Not tonight, nor tomorrow...but Stalag 13 must continue to function even at the tiniest bit...The position of Senior POW Officer must be filled eventually. It is inevitable...so I have come to a decision that will fulfill that issue and possibly...give you men some comfort and even a sense of closure...I have asked General Burkhalter to sift through several oflags to find qualified Allied officers and have them come here for several recruitment interviews to become the new Senior POW of Stalag 13...I want all of you to conduct those interviews and select the officer you come to like most...I know none of them will ever be Colonel Hogan...but perhaps by putting all of you in charge of this project, maybe it will bring some ease to everyone instead of me just placing a random officer upon you."
Though Hogan's men stiffened and shifted on their feet uncomfortably, it was Kalina that had the breakdown. She screamed and sobbed rampantly, darting back inside barracks two with the door slamming shut behind her.
Forgetting all about the prisoners, Klink left his post and went after his daughter, Kinch and the rest of Hogan's core unit following him from behind. When they reached the door and stepped into the threshold, they found Klink rocking his daughter from side to side, kissing the top of her head as she cried vehemently and clutched Hogan's hat against her chest.
Kinch knelt down beside Kalina's left, placed a hand on one of her arms, and rubbed it, causing the little teenager to lift her eyes up to him. She watched him shake his head and wipe some of her tears away with his thumb. "Colonel Hogan wouldn't want you to cry for him, kiddo," he told her softly. "He'd want us to do this."
Kalina continued to cry and shook her head, her father never letting go of her for a second. "No," she sobbed. "No, he'll think we're replacing him. Getting a new officer means we'll forget he ever existed. I don't wanna forget Colonel Hogan. I don't want another officer other than Colonel Hogan."
"No one will ever replace Colonel Hogan," LeBeau told her affirmatively.
"We couldn't forget the Gov'nor even if we tried to, little mate," Newkirk added. "He was the best colonel in the whole wide world; no new officer can take that away from us."
"Colonel Hogan will always be with us. He's looking out for us like he said in his letter, remember?" Kinch reminded her. "He's gonna make sure we get through this. He'll never be gone...you just have to think about him, and he'll be right there with you in an instant."
More tears flooded Kalina's eyes, and she again began to cry, Klink giving her another kiss on the head as he gently rocked her from side to side. "I miss him, Kinch." She wept.
"I know...I know...We always will, kiddo."
As Kalina continued to sob, Klink continued to rock his daughter and faintly remembered an American song he heard on the radio a couple years ago. He felt it was the right fit for this awful situation and always sang to Kalina when she was sad or scared. He closed his eyes, and with a single tear streaming down his face, he began singing the German version of 'Baby Mine', Hogan's men soon joining him.