Hello everyone, life has been busy but I'm back with an update. For this update, I wanted to write a chapter that was not situated in Season 4. This chapter will be focused on the finale of Season 2 (2x23) right before Barry went back in time. This chapter will have more Caitlin and Barry and less Cisco. I am thinking of writing a future chapter that has more Cisco and Barry to even things out. It just felt appropriate since I always wished Caitlin and Barry talked more about this topic together. I also took a little more creative freedom with this chapter.

I would also like to thank those of you who are supporting this fic.

stars90: Thank you for the kind words, I'm glad you liked the Babel protocol part.

MirandaAnnette144: Your review made me blush, thank you so much. I completely agree with you about Ralph, sad to see him gone and I'm excited on how the show is going to approach Caitlin's character. We got the answer about Cisco and the Breacher. I was kind of surprised that they ended Gypsy and Cisco's relationship, but I would be very surprised if that was the last time we see her.

ShanouNash: I'm definitely thinking about writing a chapter revolved around 4x18.

PurpleYin: Thank you for the support. I'm glad that you liked the little details I put in.

All characters, story plot lines to the writers, producers of The Flash and The CW. Some characters and plot lines also belong to the writers, producers of Arrow. I do not own the rights to any of them just the idea is my own.

Note: Italicized words are flashbacks.

Feel free to write a review on your thoughts

P.S. I'm super excited about this week's episode (4x22). Hopefully we get to see some long awaited OTF interactions. Fingers crossed

Chapter 4: Some Peace

Iris hesitantly made her way back into her father's home unsure if she should really leave Barry in this state. She took a quick glance at Barry before she made up her mind to give Barry some space. As she closed the door she noticed Caitlin making her way towards the door.

"Hey, I'm just going to check up on Barry." said Caitlin.

Part of Iris wanted to stop Caitlin and give Barry some peace but Barry losing himself to grief won't help him. As much as Iris wanted to be the one to support Barry, she knew that she couldn't fully be that for Barry. She never experienced what Barry went through. Yes, her own mom just passed a couple of months ago, but she never had that close of a bond with her mom in the first place. Joe had been the only parent she ever known, and he till this day remains as one of her biggest support in her life. Caitlin was different, she too had helplessly watched her father fade away in front of her. In some way Iris hoped that horrible shared experience could help Barry. Iris nodded and stepped away from the door wishing a mental good luck to Caitlin.

Barry found his mind racing into a dark pit. No matter what Barry tried to do, he couldn't find the strength to lift his mood. The line between sorrow and rage was small both blurring into one another. Is this what he needed to sacrifice to be The Flash? Why were his loved ones always at risk? Why were they always taken away from him? He remember a conversation he had with Felicity.

"Felicity, it's nice to hear from you and all but I don't remember signing up to be your relationship counsellor." Barry teased.

"Well since you're not actually here in Starling City, you might actually be able to provide me a greater perspective. I don't know I guess I'm desperate." replied Felicity. Barry could hear the anxiousness in her voice.

"Okay, lay it on me." Barry said as he raised his feet on a coffee table to be more comfortable.

"Well Oliver kissed me and then I was like oh my god he kissed me, and I should be ecstatic, but I wasn't because I'm like what the heck, why did he kiss me?" Felicity muttered quickly even for Barry's fast abilities.

"Wow…Oliver kissed you...so…wait kissing is not a good thing? I thought you guys had like a thing. Hell, the guy was ready to plunge me with an arrow just for being a little jealous." Barry raised his eyebrow in confusion.

"I don't know I mean I guess there was always something there, but Oliver is Oliver. Anything that seems too dangerous for those he cares for, he instantly steps back. I don't think I can be with a guy who would leave because of that. I'm done with maybes." Barry could hear her heels clicking through the phone signalling that she was pacing.

"Felicity, that's not a sure thing." said Barry.

"No Barry, he told me just a while back that because of the life that he leads, he didn't want to be with someone who he could really care about. So, what now? Did that change? Or is he still going to live by that motto?"

At the time Barry thought Oliver was a little ridiculous. He didn't think a chance at happiness or love should be sacrificed because after all there is only one chance at life. But now, Barry could see reason behind Oliver's words. He brings instant danger to his friends and family because he is the Flash. His mom, his dad, Eddie, and Ronnie. They were all connected to him and they died for that. Perhaps it would be best for Barry while he's ahead to leave those he cares about out of his life. Before he could continue to dawdle on the idea, he heard the door opening behind him and Caitlin stepped out.

"Caitlin, I don't really feel like talking right now."

"Barry, can you take me to the park beside the aquarium?" Caitlin said as she ignored Barry's words.

"Wait what?" Barry stuttered.

Caitlin motioned with her hands for Barry to carry her. "Come on, let's go."

Too tired to argue, Barry lifted Caitlin and ran with her to the park. "Well here you go weirdo. Now are you going to tell me what we are doing here?" Barry asked as he set Caitlin down.

Caitlin walked forward. "I don't think I can ever try to pretend to know what you're feeling and what you must be thinking. However, from personal experience I know that sometimes avoiding everybody and just not talking can do more destruction than anything. As your friend, I want to offer to be that person who you can talk to about this even if it may not seem possible."

Barry followed Caitlin as she walked closer to a secluded area. "As much as I appreciate the notion, I don't think I can bear to…" Caitlin raised a hand and interrupted him before he could finish. Barry noticed that Caitlin had led him to a bench that was surrounded by trees. Structurally wise, it seemed incredibly out of place to have a bench there. Caitlin sat down and patted the bench next to her. Barry sat down next to her and both remained silent for what felt like hours.

"When I was younger I was bullied a lot. Lexi was the worse, but almost everybody in my grade made fun of me. I didn't talk a lot and for them it was easy to tease me because I never fought back. My mom was always busy even back then and my dad was honestly my only friend. For the longest time, I never told him that I hated being in school or how I ate my lunch alone. I didn't want him to worry about me. But, one day Lexi told me that my mom probably regretted giving birth to me and it hit a chord within me. My mom was always there but to me it felt like it was an obligation for her to be there not a choice. When Lexi said that, every doubt I had about our relationship rose to the surface and I ran away. That day I forgot I had a dentist appointment and my dad came early to pick me up. He found me at the back of the school bawling. On that day, he cancelled my appointment and took me to a nearby park. He took me to a bench that steered clear from the public and it was there that I told him everything about Lexi and all the times I felt angry or upset about my mom. He listened, we talked it out and it felt so good. Over the years, we would get coffee or brought some sandwiches to that bench and talked till the sky went dark. That was our own little haven away from the outside. I cried on that bench for hours when he died. When I moved to Central City, I lost my safe place. I found myself desperately seeking a place when Ronnie died and somehow, I stumbled across this bench here. It has been my makeshift replacement and whenever I missed my dad or Ronnie, I would come here and just relax. I've brought Cisco here before too when you were still in a coma after the particle accelerator exploded to talk about our fears for our future careers. Barry, I hope I can offer this place to you to think and talk with no judgement." Caitlin declared as she stared up at the sky.

Barry started to twiddle his fingers and spoke hesitantly at first. "I remember being super excited when I first started elementary school. I had this uh…red backpack that was way too big for me and I was ready to start a new adventure. Unknown to my younger self that I would meet one of my greatest nemesis on that very same day."

"Tony?" asked Caitlin as she brought her knees towards her chest.

"Yup, he was much larger than me and he took my red backpack and flung it on the ground. He then proceeded to trip me and told me that he didn't like me because I had a red backpack and that he hated the colour red. I wound up getting a cut on my lower lip and my mom was livid when she saw me. When I told her what happened, she was ready to declare war on Tony." Barry smiled at that. "As she headed out the door, she ran into my dad who just got off work and told him all about it." Barry paused as his voice began to falter. Caitlin smiled at him trying to assure him. "My da—dd went to get a first aid kit to clean my wound and he told me that I was brave that day. My parents went to the school the next day but that never stopped Tony. My parents offered me a chance to change schools, but I was adamant at staying and told them that I didn't want a bully to be the reason that I ran away. They both stood by my decision and stated that they couldn't be prouder."

"I'm sure they are proud of you right now." Caitlin whispered.

Barry smiled slightly. "I hope so."

"Definitely, you're a kind-hearted guy who loves fully and does everything with passion and dedication. My dad would have loved you. I wish he had the chance to meet you."

"My mom would have loved you too, she always had a soft spot for doctors." Barry's smiled dropped. "…. I've lost both of them." Barry's eyes darkened instantly at the realization and he grasped at his heart for it felt as though his heart was being crushed.

Caitlin glanced at Barry not knowing how she could comfort Barry.

"Caitlin, does the pain ever go away for you?"

Caitlin let out a shaky breath. "There are good and bad days. Some days I almost forget but there are others where memories hit me like a brick wall."

"What do I do Caitlin?" Barry glanced at Caitlin with hope as though she could relieve him of all his pain.

Caitlin laid her head on his shoulder and wrapped her arm around his arm. "I wish I had the answer you are looking for. I wish I could numb you from what you're feeling but all I can offer you is my support. Barry if it is possible, I wish you could take this chance to grieve. Let whatever you're feeling out whether it be anger or sorrow."

Caitlin's words were the final key to Barry's gate on his emotions. With the last of his control gone, Barry began to sob crying out for his parents. Caitlin's grasp on his arm tightened and she felt her heart breaking with each of Barry's wails. Both wept for their lost parents, for their lost friends, for everything that was taken from them too soon.

Unknown amount of time passed as their tears dried. Barry had placed his head gently on top of Caitlin's and both found comfort in the silence. No words were needed for that moment and the weight they held on their shoulders felt a little lighter.

The peaceful silence however was broken by a loud whoosh behind them both and an equally loud groan followed.

"My god is that painful. This actually tops the one and only time I went to a freshman party and drank way over my limits."

Caitlin and Barry glanced behind them greeted by Cisco crouched down with both hands on his head.

"Did you just breach yourself here?" Caitlin questioned with a little awe in her voice.

"Yup, definitely need to work on that."

Barry stood and offered a hand to Cisco. "How did you know we would be here?"

"This is Caitlin's spot, I figured she brought you here after Iris noticed the both of you had disappeared." Cisco replied nonchalantly as though it was common knowledge. Cisco glanced at the two of them, the redness of their eyes didn't escape his observation.

Cisco placed his hand on Barry's shoulder and reached out for Caitlin's hand. Caitlin lifted her hand to meet his and placed her other hand on Barry's other shoulder. "We're here for you man whenever you need it." Caitlin nodded in agreement.

Barry looked at the two of them feeling warmth and comfort from their touch. Although so much had been taken away from him due to his powers. It also brought Cisco and Caitlin into his life and for that Barry couldn't be more grateful. "Caitlin, Cisco, thank you."

Both grinned widely.

For Barry's and Cisco's sake, the three of them decided to take their time going back to the West household. For a moment, it seemed like everything would be okay as long as they had each other but everything was not okay. Barry had tried to be okay, but he could only feel regret as his friends continued to support him. Both had suffered thanks to Barry, yet both remained loyal anyways.

"Hey, you two go ahead inside, I just want a moment to sit here." Barry said as they reached Joe's house.

Caitlin and Cisco glanced at one another and nodded. "Okay Barry, take as much time as you need." Caitlin voiced reassuringly.

Barry watched as they stepped inside and joined in with the conversation with Joe, Iris, and Wally. "I'm so sorry but I have to do this." Barry whispered as he took one last glance at them before speeding off.

He can fix this, no one has to die because of him. His friends and family deserve better and he can give them back a better life. A happier life. He can fix this.

That's a wrap on this chapter. I hope you all like it.

-V