Note:
HeroPT, Lorgar50 and snapping tiger, thank you for following the story! Lorgar50, thank you, also, for the favorite! Thanks to Tigersflame for adding me to your community, A Tiger's Flames! And thank you as always, une-papillon-de-nuit, for reviewing!
And thank everyone for your remarkable consistency and support! I cannot believe that after just one week of writing I already have over 150 readers! It's impossible to put to words how happy you all make me! Seriously, every single one of you is so amazing. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.
Sorry again about the irregular update time—I was outlining this chapter and realized that I needed to watch The Prisoner of Azkaban again in order to really get a sense of what was going on for those already at Hogwarts. So that accounts for two or so hours of the delay!
In this chapter, I've bought into the theory that Remus can perform Legilimency. It's not that heated of a debate as far as I know, so I think I'm safe with this choice... besides, he doesn't use it for a bad reason.
There are some scenes pulled directly from the films in this chapter, and so some characters may say lines that are close (if not identical) to what is said in the films. I didn't re-watch any scenes for reference, but I'm confident that I got most of the dialogue right.
Please review! I would love to know what you think about the story!
Disclaimer: All recognizable characters herein are the property of J.K. Rowling the Utmost Venerable.
Chapter Seven Totally Optional Cast (in order of appearance)
Anya Taylor-Joy . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Alice
Jack Gleeson . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Fynn Malfoy
Alan Rickman . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Severus Snape
Tom Felton . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Draco Malfoy
Daniel Radcliffe . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Harry Potter
Rupert Grint . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Ronald Weasley
Emma Watson . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Hermione Granger
David Thewlis / Domhnall Gleeson . . . . . . Remus Lupin
Sir Michael Gambon . . . . . . . . . . . . Albus Dumbledore
Maggie Smith . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Minerva McGonagall
VII | Wolves
Winter Holidays, 1993-1994
Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry
Over the course of the train ride, Alice comes down with a cold: her body is exhausted, but sensing safety not too far away, her immune system lets down its defenses. By the time the Hogwarts Express blows its whistle and pulls into the station at Hogsmeade, she feels dizzy and on the cusp of a coughing fit. She waits until the train has come to an absolute stop before gathering Fynn up from the padded compartment bench, and carrying him on her hip up the train to the nearest door.
The platform is freezing from the season, and the thick white steam from the train billows around her like clouds as she steps down from the train, shivering instantly from the cold and tightening her grip around Fynn's small body. For a moment her mind is as occluded as her vision, but then she walks forward carefully, with one hand stretched out in front of her, the other wrapped securely around the boy—step by step, until the freezing steam thins, and she can see clearly.
And just in time, too, for standing one step in front of her is a tall, grave man in pitch black robes—whom she would have walked into if a breeze had blown the steam just slightly forward. But today is a windless day, so she stops just short of his chest, and looks up at him: hair as black as his robes, a thin pale face, his dark, sad gaze trained towards her down his long nose.
"Alice, I presume," Severus Snape says, his bass voice gloomily smooth. "I am here to receive you at the behest of Mr. Malfoy." He looks down at her and a somehow sad smirk twists the corner of his mouth painfully. "Follow me," he says, his eyes flickering to the little boy in Alice's arms, before turning on his heel with a swish of his black cloak, and striding down the platform.
At the end, they stand waiting, partially hidden by a black, weather-wettened tree trunk, as a series of black horseless carriages arrive at the station: robed students in droves, lugging trunks behind them, getting out and heading to the platform, on their way home for the winter holidays. Once the space has been cleared, avoiding attention, the man in all black starts for the nearest carriage, stepping up into it and beckoning for Alice to come, with a melancholy glare.
"What pulls them?" she asks, still standing in the snow, packed down by the shoes of the departing students, and looking curiously at the empty space in front of the carriage.
"Camouflage pixies," answers the dark-clothed man with a sarcastic sneer. "Get in."
The entry hall of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry is warm compared with the frigid, snowy outdoors, and a red flush comes into Alice's cheeks suddenly upon stepping inside, her nose starting to run. The black-robed wizard turns to her, his austere nature emanating from his every movement as he looks between the face of the girl and Fynn Malfoy.
"I will be close by," Snape warns, his voice low and quiet, forcing her to listen, "keeping an eye on you. It would be folly, on your part, to forget it." And then, with a rippling of his black cape, he turns and hurries down an adjacent corridor. Alice feels an unpleasant chill dig itself into the place between her shoulder blades at the mysterious wizard's words, but, along with it, comes a forgiving dose of relief.
She looks up at the stone soldiers lining the walls of the entryway, candles floating high above her head, and is comforted by the familiarity of the castle she has entered upon, a safe refuge. Fynn, himself, has never before been in Hogwarts, and looks up with his eyes sparkling in wonder. "Wait until you see the great hall," says Alice to him quietly, her voice stuffy from the insistent running of her nose.
As though having entered upon a holy temple, she keeps her footsteps as soft as possible as she approaches the great hall, knowing that Harry and his friends are bound to be within. When she reaches the entryway, however, she hesitates at the sight of a tall, thin boy with profoundly white hair and sore-looking blue eyes on his way out. He, too, notices her, and stops at the sight of the child in her arms.
Fynn, himself, starts to squirm a bit against Alice's chest at the sight of his older brother, and, quickly putting the pieces together, Alice lets the boy down onto the floor—at which point he hurries to his surprised-looking sibling, hugging him around the leg, as he comes only up to his waist.
Draco almost smiles at the sight of his little brother, placing his hand on the back of the younger boy's curly blonde head, but then quickly represses the instinct, looking back up at the girl—two years his senior—standing across the space.
"So, then," he says to her, his posture and cold tone a pale imitation of his father's. "You're the help, are you?"
Alice doesn't let his words get to her—and they would be hard pressed to do so, anyways, after coping with months of his father's far superior verbal and physical assaults. She knows that she will have to earn the boy's trust, that she must do so as soon as possible, and is immediately sure of how to do it, too.
Protecting his fragile pride, she looks around quickly, ensuring that they are alone and out of earshot before walking up to him. She maintains a proper distance, but looks directly into his eyes, attempting to channel all the support under the sun through her gaze as she speaks quietly but firmly. "It is my hope that we will become partners in arms," she begins, "but in order for that to happen, it will be necessary for both of us to show each other a certain amount of respect."
She can tell immediately that Draco knows what she's talking about—she can see something register behind his eyes. And without saying anything in direct response to her words, he nods his head up and down slightly, in discreet agreement. Then, he removes Fynn's arms from around his leg, saying, "Go along, Fynn," and then, to Alice, more quietly, "Find me soon," before hurrying up the stairs and out of sight, as though frightened by the intimacy of the interaction.
But a weight has been lifted from Alice's chest after finally meeting Fynn's older brother, and she is pleasantly surprised by the ease with which she'd found common ground with him. Fynn looks after Draco for a time, before turning back around, and looking forward into the great hall, his eyes shining with amazement. A small, long-lost smile appears on Alice's lips, and she takes the child's hand, leading him forward into the warm, cavernous space.
The four long tables are still dominated by the colorful breakfast feast which had been laid out that morning, and some of the students remaining for the Holidays are still working away at platefuls of food, scavenging through the leftovers. Alice spots Ron Weasley before the others: creeping around the Hufflepuff table and waiting until none of them are looking his way before taking an entire angel food cake under his arm and sneaking it back over to the Gryffindor table.
"Ronald!" Alice hears Hermione say in exasperation, and her smile grows wider.
Harry is the first to notice her, glancing up from a piece of pumpkin pie and grinning in pleasant surprise, beckoning her over to the table. All three are delighted to see her, and curious about the identity of the little boy accompanying her, but something in her eyes must deter them from asking questions. Ron quickly takes it upon himself to pile a plate of food high for her, and Fynn eagerly grabs a cinnamon bun, eager to devour something sweet after the long, boring train ride.
On seeing Harry for the first time in so long, Alice is suddenly struck by a terrible feeling of guilt: she'd neglected to write him as much as she should have throughout the summer. "How was your summer, Harry?" she says casually, so as not to let the others in on the fact that she hadn't been on Privet Drive, but lacing her voice with meaning intended just for Harry.
"It went alright," he says, communicating to her with his eyes that, though he'd felt slightly abandoned, he'd understood. And Alice feels a bit comforted, sure that, probably, he had survived on letters from Ron and Hermione throughout the boring months of summer vacation.
"Tell her about Marge, Harry!" prompts Ron through a mouthful of half-chicken wing, half-biscuit.
"Ronald, don't talk until you've swallowed your food," growls Hermione hopelessly, earning a combative expression from Ron.
Harry commences to tell the story of how his miserable aunt had come at the end of the summer, and how he'd accidentally blown her up—which Alice initially takes to mean 'exploded.' But he quickly explains himself, and by the end of the story, she can't help but giggle a little at the absurdity of it all—though still understanding Harry's struggle to control his powers on a deeper level.
The three of them then catch her up on the events of the first term: the hilarious but worrisome premonitions of the Divination teacher Trelawney, Hagrid's trials regarding Buckbeak, Boggarts with Professor Lupin, Hogsmeade, and Sirius Black.
But, eventually, the inevitably question comes, from Ron, about where Alice had been over the school year, and why she wasn't attending Hogwarts, like everyone else their age. Alice, knowing that it would be better in the long run to tell them the truth, hesitates for only a moment before saying that she'd been at the Malfoy Manor, acting as caretaker to Fynn, who withers slightly under the three pairs of startled, judgmental eyes.
"Blimey," says Ron. "I didn't know Malfoy had a kid brother."
Alice feels an urge to correct Ron, to say that his name is Draco, not Malfoy, but she bites her tongue, knowing now to be the wrong time. It's abundantly clear to her from Harry, Ron and Hermione's faces that Draco has served as an adequate extension of his father's mannerisms, and it seems that their dislike towards Draco is not something they can be reasoned out of, at least not now.
"You look awfully tired from the train," says Hermione, effectively protecting Alice from the barrage of accusations or further questions that were bound to follow the revelation of where she'd been all year. "Why don't you go up to Gryffindor tower and get a bath? We aren't going anywhere, and nobody will rush you."
"I think I will," says Alice, casting the other witch a grateful glance.
Fynn yawns widely, his eyelids starting to droop, so she picks him up and, bidding the other three goodbye, starts out of the great hall towards the stairs. Just before she reaches the corridor, she overhears Ron, behind her, remarking: "Why's she working for the bloody Malfoys?" and she realizes with a pang of disappointment, that it may be harder than she'd thought to maintain strong relationships with Harry, Ron and Hermione, while still trying to kindle a new camaraderie with Draco.
But all her worries slip away at the very moment she lowers her bruised body into the warm, soapy bathtub. Fynn sits outside the bathroom door, and they sing his favorite nursery rhyme to each other while she washes herself, feeling cleaner than she has in a very long time.
Later that afternoon, Alice, yearning to spend some time away from the others before reincorporating herself into social habits, takes Fynn on an exploration of the castle. Most of the floors and stairways she knows like the back of her hand, after spending so many months there without any other students, and there's a certain peace that comes with rediscovering the old routes through the cool, mostly empty corridors, now. Fynn looks around in wonder, but is still remarkably drained from the train ride, and so she carries him, her arms never too weak to keep him up—her saving grace throughout any trial.
It is by accident that she happens upon the stairway to Dumbledore's office—whose location always seems to shift from one place to another, depending on the whim of the magical spirit of Hogwarts Castle on any given day. She recognizes the griffin sculpture, its wings open as though for an embrace, and smiles at the memory of finally meeting Dumbledore for the first time, after only having ever seen him from far away.
Suddenly, though, the stone staircase starts to shift into motion, as though someone had just uttered the password—though she hadn't even tried to do it on purpose. Fynn gasps in excitement, and Alice, having an inkling that Dumbledore might have sensed her presence, and caused the stairway to move, himself, as a signal for her to join him, hurries forward, stepping onto one of the stairs and letting the spiral carry her upwards.
Immediately upon her arrival in the doorway, Fynn quiet against her side, she spots Dumbledore and Remus, both standing near the wintery window, which they seem to have been just looking out. The warm, eccentric nature of the office is almost foreign after so many months of the Malfoy Manor's strict, dark and austere interior.
"Alice," says Albus in greeting, "how wonderful of you to join us." And he grants her a secret wink, confirming her previous suspicions that the staircase had moved on purpose.
Remus puts his hands in his pockets and looks over at Alice happily. Dumbledore has watched him become quite gaunt over the course of the first term, but suddenly, at the sight of the girl, Lupin brightens, becoming almost immediately healthier, the color returning to his cheeks, and a glimmer of happiness appearing in his tired heart. Alice, seeing the wizard for the first time after learning of his other secret nature, suddenly understands the implications of the scars on his cheek, the quiet way he has, the reason why he always seems to keep a certain distance. She smiles right back at him, not frightened in the slightest.
"Ah," says Dumbledore with a friendly lilt in his voice, turning his warm gaze on the young Fynn. "This must be the newest addition to the Malfoy family." And the headmaster smiles gently beneath his beard, his eyes shining behind his spectacles as he makes a little square of chocolate float from the bowl of candies on his desk over to the boy, who catches it in his palm and laughs with glee, immediately taken in by the old wizard. Alice lets out a gleaming smile of her own at the memory of how Dumbledore had first enchanted her in the same way, on that night on Privet Drive.
"Professor Lupin and I were just looking out the window and thinking how pleasant a winter walk around the grounds would be, today. I fear my bones are too old for the temperature, but I will be so bold as to suggest that you," he directs his warm gaze upon Alice "might accompany him. It would be my great pleasure to entertain the youngest Mr. Malfoy until your return."
Fynn beams, his cheek puffed out from the chocolate inside his mouth, his eyes bright at the prospect of time on his own with this captivating old wizard. Alice is slightly nervous about leaving the boy, as it will be the first time she's been separated from him since meeting him months before. But she trust Dumbledore, and something inside of her is burning to walk alone with Remus, to experience that quiet companionship that his presence never fails to provide, so she agrees to the headmaster's suggestion.
Just minutes later, clad in many layers with the added protection of a warming charm, Alice and Remus step out into the frosty air of the courtyard, and start across the front of the castle towards the cleared walking path around Long Lake.
Suddenly, she feels strange about the presence of his body beside hers. He is tall and, though thin, stronger than she, and while there is something about him that is a pillar of safety, there is also a certain masculine danger that she detects for the first time, now—almost on instinct. And she is wary whenever a wavering step in the snow brings her stumbling too close to him.
Remus senses immediately that something is awry, that something had gone wrong over her time at the Manor. "Have you been treated well, these past months?" is the way he poses his question, at last, after minutes of silence, perpetuated by the cold stillness of the air.
After a moment, she turns from him, coming to a standstill on the path, her body hunching over instinctively. Tears brim at the corners of her eyes, stinging as the moisture meets the cold—and she fights to keep them from falling, but is afraid that if they stay in her eyes too long, they'll freeze.
Remus looks down wat her in the deepest concern, but not quite shock, having sensed something direly wrong, before. He tries to touch her shoulder, but she flinches away at his touch, prompting him to kneel down on the stone pathway to make himself less intimidating as he looks up at her, convincing her to tell him what the trouble is.
"I want to tell you," she says in a trembling whisper, her voice made higher and more quiet by the cold. "But I can't put it into words."
The wizard looks down at the path briefly, deliberating the moral implications of a possible solution. After coming to an answer within himself, he looks back up at her, saying, "I have a proposition for you, in that case. It's entirely optional: I could look inside of your mind, and see it for myself. It would cause a minor headache, but, afterward, I'll have a square of chocolate for you. Or an entire bar, if you'd like."
The girl almost steps back, started at his offer, and slightly frightened by the idea of having him probing around in her mind—especially for information of such sensitivity. But, with a sob, she realizes that there is no other way at present to tell him what is eating her up inside, and so she nods her head up and down, consenting to the plan.
"Open your mind to me," he constructs gently.
Slowly, Alice manages to do so, more tears flooding her eyes as the memories of the past months gain further color, and painful clarity, moving into the forefront of her mind.
"Legilimens," Lupin mutters.
Soon after, she feels a presence inside of her skull; something physical, and not her own, but not threatening, either. A slight pulse, slowly making room for itself in her mind, and moving about gently from side to side, as it seeks out its desired information.
And all too soon, he finds it. Remus sees and feels it all: every time she was thrown to the floor, every time her bones seemed about to shatter from the force of her body jolting against the edge of a desk, the way her lungs froze completely after a minute of being suffocated against a bed...
After just a few seconds, he can't bear it anymore, and recedes from the girl's head, trembling, his hands seeking support from the freezing stone pathway. Alice, herself, feels her heart cave in around itself, a headache promptly blooming out inside of her skull, a wave of shame and devastation taking over her as she realizes what Remus had just seen. Will he think that she'd been weak? Will he be embarrassed and never look at her again? Will he detest her for not telling him what had been going on, sooner?
Unable to balance all the sudden emotions, Alice starts to sob, the tears offending her at first—but then, Remus gathers himself up from the ground, and something in his eyes and his stance gives her permission to release the emotion by any means necessary. Magically, he extends a layer of warmth to her body, to serve as a surrogate for his arms, as he's afraid—after seeing what she'd experienced—to lay hands on her, even in a comforting gesture.
But, contrary to his expectations, Alice instead walks forward, arms wrapped around herself, placing her body against his, nestling her head into his chest as she shakes violently with her deep cries. Remus hesitates for a second, caught off guard by the sudden feeling of her on the other side of his coat, but then embraces her. Alice cries harder, but something inside of her loosens—his arms are safe around her.
Remus, his stare reaching a thousand miles away as he looks over her small, trembling shoulder, is suddenly brought back to the present by the sudden appearance of color close by. At the edge of the path, some of the snow has suddenly been banished by the strength of Alice's emotion, and from the exposed ground, a patch of Lily of the Valley suddenly grows. After a few moments, he shifts himself slightly away from her, leaning down to pluck them from the ground, collecting them in a small bouquet in his hand, holding it up for her tearful inspection.
Back in his office—dust covering an old gramophone, winter light slanting through the windows bordering one wall, a strange, scarred cabinet standing in the center-they unearth themselves from their layers of coats, and remove the warming spells to keep from burning up. Remus walks down the aisle between desks and then ascends a small stairway into his personal office beyond where, on his desk, sits a vase of autumnal flowers.
He'd collected them months before on one of his frequent off-day walks on the highlands and along the lake path. But he'd loved them so much, that he'd simply had to preserve them. But now, he removes them from the vase, considering them briefly before vanishing, and replacing them with Alice's new white flowers, filling the vase with fresh water and casting a preservation charm over them.
After admiring them momentarily, allowing his mind to float away from the troubles at hand if only for a second, Remus turns and leans back against his desk, not knowing what else to do, as the girl watches him discreetly from the doorway. She looks at the flowers, and nods at them, incapable of looking him straight in the eyes.
He is seized by a sudden fear that she might regret revealing her mind to him, but, shuffling around the real cause of the silence, he swallows and says, "I'm sorry to ask this of you, but you really mustn't tell Harry what I told you about Sirius Black."
But the girl isn't interested in listening to extraneousness. She walks forward meekly, the wet bottoms of her shoes making slight sounds against the floor as she comes to stand next to him, looking up into his face, but not at his eyes, her gaze tracing the scars along his cheek. And then, quite suddenly, she strains upward, standing on the tops of her toes, and kisses him.
For a second he freezes: her lips are paralyzed against his, and he has to keep himself from trembling, or tracing her jaw with his fingers, as his instincts tell him to do at the feeling of a kiss: unfamiliar and resurgent, after so many years. Instead, he quickly obtains control from some steadfast part of himself, and draws backward slightly, though not violently, as to avoid offending the confused girl.
Her heels sink slowly back to the floor—now, she looks directly into his eyes, hers filled with a chaos of pain and confusion at her own actions.
"You don't have to do that for me to protect you," Remus says after a moment, still quite befuddled.
But Alice shakes her head, putting the back of her hand to her mouth, shocked at what she'd just done, and, stumbling, she turns and flees.
"Alice!" he calls after her apologetically, hurrying to the doorway of his office. But she has already disappeared.
After recovering from this encounter, Remus goes directly to Dumbledore's office, on the cusp of a fit of anger. Albus senses his near-rage before he even enters by the way of the stone staircase, but when he does enter upon the office, his hair disheveled by the violence of his apparation, his eyes glaring towards the headmaster, Dumbledore is taken aback.
"I'm not going to tell it to you," Remus says with a quiet hatred, his stillness menacing. "You're going to have to suffer through seeing it for yourself."
Dumbledore nods, keeping his well-practiced composure and raising a hand calmly as he begins to skim across the surface of the newest Professor's mind. It takes a moment for the borrowed memories to surface, but when they do, Albus quickly withdraws, more horrified than he has been in recent memory, and winded, stumbles down into his chair.
Remus watches, some hateful, angry part of him glad to see the headmaster's horror written so clearly on his face. But just a moment later, the gratification fades: Albus's hand has begun to tremble, and his eyes stare with a far-off shame behind his dull spectacles.
Inside of Dumbledore's own mind, a terrible admission is being made: he's made a grave mistake, one of the gravest of his lifetime, and soon, he becomes quite upset at himself for underestimating Lucius—or, rather, for overestimating him. He truly had thought that the wizard might have changed, and had never known him to be capable of something of this caliber of wickedness in the first place.
Remus Lupin's posture slumps and his eyes widen as the headmaster's great magic causes the pages of a few open books around his office to turn and flap rapidly, as though caught in a violent wind. Dumbledore turns to the younger wizard at length, both their faces deeply troubled, and Albus thinks, for a moment, that he detects a faint spark of something deeper beneath the ire in Lupin's eyes... perhaps an underlying emotion for the girl...
"You see, now, don't you?" says Remus after a few stretched moments, wanting to fill his voice with hatred for the headmaster's decision—but there's something in Dumbledore's face that keeps him from doing so.
Albus gets up very slowly from his chair, his body suddenly feeling much older than it had just seconds before. He looks out the window, steadying himself with a hand on the cold, ancient frame. Suddenly, the white world outside seems menacing and trapping—a cage from which he doesn't know whether he can escape. For a long time, he stares out at the white blanketing the hills, and the frozen grey surface of the lake, searching for an answer in the land—but it offers none. Now, he has been left alone with his own morals, which threaten to fall and twist, as it is.
"You understand that it would be impossible to rescue her immediately," he says to Remus at great length, choosing his words carefully. "She must return with the child at the end of the holidays, or the consequences upon all of us would be very dire. What we are capable of, is tying together a network to get her out by the early spring."
"Why does everything have to take time!" Remus shouts, a number of precious artefacts around the office ringing and shuddering slightly at the sound of undiluted anger and consternation. "Why won't you immediately ensure her protection, when you are capable of doing so! Send the child back to London alone, if you must—he is no longer of our concern!"
Dumbledore tries to look at the younger wizard calmly, but a part of him coils in self-loathing at the truth in his impassioned words. The headmaster knows that Remus is at his strongest peak on the month calendar, knows that he would be even more emotional if the day was closer to the full moon, but that, even so, it will be nearly impossible to reason with him, now.
"I will equip the girl with every possible defense-" he starts, trying to justify his decision to himself, just as much as he is trying to justify it to Remus.
But Remus refuses to hear it. He knows that there is no way he can really change the headmaster's mind at this point, unless he were to retreat and compile an argument. But all of this he knows only in the back of his mind—the forefront is crowded with unbridled hatred. His hands clench and unclench quickly, and in a moment of reason, to keep from exploding, Remus turns and storms out of the office. He nearly falls on the stairs as they surge into motion, more distraught than he can remember being since learning of Peter Pettigrew's betrayal of Sirius Black, and holds his breath to keep the tears in his eyes from falling.
Alice attempts to regain a sense of normalcy after her embarrassing actions in Remus's office, though she is constantly aware of how quickly time is getting away from her. It is easy to avoid Lupin, who seems to be trying to avoid her just as much as she is trying to avoid him, out of his own shame, perhaps. But much harder to avoid is the knowledge that she will inevitably have to go back to the manor.
She tries every day to kindle a relationship with Draco. At the start, after walking around the grounds a number of times, she approaches him at the Slytherin table when the rest of the great hall is nearly empty, and asks him quietly if his father ever hurt him.
Immediately, his eyes become defensive and he reverts to his superior posture as though to protect himself from the insinuations behind her question. "My father wouldn't lay a finger on me," he argues coldly. Alice looks down at the surface of the table, wishing she'd said something different, thinking it might be best for her to just stand up and leave the hall.
But something in the older girl's eyes makes Draco shrink slightly, and before he knows it, he's saying, quietly, his voice barely retaining its habitual bitterness: "Of course he doesn't touch me. He doesn't even look at me."
Likewise, the next time they are together, she tries to pose a gentle question about his mother, but he becomes quickly defensive yet again, telling her sharply not to mention his mother before turning and hurrying away towards some secret hiding place she knows not of.
She feels as though she should win an award for stupidity after asking personal questions so soon, and knows it is completely her fault that they got off on the wrong foot. But, soon, it is actually Draco who comes to approach her of his own volition. Despite his defenses, the boy has come to trust her, and after another few days of warming the ice, they start to take morning walks around the grounds along with Fynn, on which Draco confesses to Alice how much he misses his mother, and misses the man his father had been before her death.
Alice listens to his every words, and responds when appropriate—but most of the time she comes to feel a great and terrible conflict in her heart, as the boy talks about who his father had once been. It seems impossible that he could have changed so much, and there is something unforgivable tied up with Lucius in her eyes that makes it difficult to look at Draco without feeling some measure of pity...
But, luckily, she does find a respite from these conflicting emotions, in her friendships with Harry, Ron, and Hermione, which are certainly warmer than her emerging relationship with Draco—though she only engages with them if she is confident she has left Draco and Fynn together on a positive note.
A conflict has arisen for Harry Potter surrounding his inability to accompany Ron and Hermione to Hogsmeade, lacking a guardian-signed permission form. Alice finds the situation entirely unfair, and so keeps Harry company while he's stuck in the school, both of them watching the melancholy snow fall past the windows while Fynn chases a magically animated toy Pegasus up and down the hallway.
"You're good," Harry says on one particular afternoon, referring to her magical ability. "How did you learn, in the first place, anyway?"
"Professor Lupin," she says, sticking to the simplest answer and turning her face away so that Harry won't be privy to the embarrassment she feels at the mention of Remus.
"Really?" exclaims Harry, not having noticed anything.
"During last year, he stayed at Ms. Figg's house with us, and helped me to find... control."
"Cool," Harry says absentmindedly, looking longingly out the window, the footsteps of the other students slowly filling up with snow in the courtyard.
Suddenly, something occurs to her. "Harry," she exclaims, feeling daft for not thinking of this further. "Your Invisibility Cloak."
The younger boy turns to her with a broad grin breaking across his face, and he stands up with a start from the windowsill in which they'd been sitting. "Alice, you're brilliant! I'll come right back!" He excitedly hugs her and then runs down the corridor towards the Gryffindor dormitories, Alice incapable of holding back a smile of her own.
Just minutes later, she watches from the clock tower while Harry's footprints appear one after the other on the fresh carpet of snow in the courtyard below. But her excitement quickly turns to dismay as the two older Weasley twins appear in his path, and quickly realize what is happening, taking him by the (invisible) arms and leading him back towards the castle, their plan foiled.
Alice huffs in disappointment, hoping that, given the twins' playful nature, she might be able to convince them not to interfere with Harry's wishes, as she gathers up Fynn in her arms and hurries down the stairs to confront them.
But instead of trying to keep Harry behind, it turns out that Fred and George had only stopped him to give him something that might help him along in his endeavor. It's the Marauders' Map, and they'd found it in Filch's office during a detention in their first year. Alice looks on in excitement and curiosity as they show Harry how to use it, and then send him off towards a secret tunnel that leads directly into the basement of a Hogsmeade shop from the castle.
Alice waves Harry off with a smile, but something inside of her regretting that she will remain stuck at Hogwarts alone, now. But Harry turns around suddenly after a moment, seeming to have read her thoughts, and offers to let her come with him under the cloak. Fred and George promptly offer themselves up as temporary caretakers to Fynn and, trusting them and excited to explore as much of Harry's world as possible, Alice leaves the youngest Malfoy behind (the boy already happy to be with the two red-haired jokesters) and sneaks out of the castle with her friend.
Their excursion into Hogsmeade turns out to be... eventful, to say the least.
They find Ron and Hermione looking over a fence in the direction of a narrow, broken down shack, and Harry is about to approach them and make him aware of his presence in some amusing way, when Draco and his two accomplices appear from behind the nearby trees. Alice looks on in a sad disappointment as she and Harry stand back, watching the three of them taunt and intimidate Ron and Hermione with threats and cruel jokes at their expense. Soon, Harry begins to throw snowballs at the three accusers, until they run back through the snowy woods in the direction of the castle. Harry reveals their presence by tugging on the tassels of Ron's hat, and fiddling with Hermione's scarf, before pulling the invisibility cloak off. Alice is happy to see Ron and Hermione, but she has to work to hide her sudden disappointment in the way Draco had taken out his sadness and anger.
It becomes easier to suppress her emotion, though, as the four of them walk back through Hogsmeade, the cloak covering herself and Harry once again. They walk through the streets, Harry maneuvering expertly when a group of unaware students almost bumps into them, the two of them sharing a box of Bertie Bott's Every-Flavor Beans under the cloak. But the fun is quickly spoiled when a carriage bearing Professor McGonagall, the minister of magic, and Hagrid appears in the street outside of a nearby pub, and Harry, Ron, Hermione and Alice all stop in the center of the street, listening in to a conversation in progress between McGonagall, the minister and the bartender, who has come out of the pub to receive them.
"...thing that might bring Sirius Black, here, into Hogsmeade," the professor is saying.
"What would that be, Minerva?" questions the Minister.
"Harry Potter, of course."
Alice has no choice but to stumble alongside Harry as he hurries into the pub, leaving Ron and Hermione in the street, going after McGonagall and the other two for all he's worth, slipping through the door just a split second before it slams closed against the winter day.
They go as silently as possible up the stairs, following the adults into a secret room, again slipping through the door just in time. Alice and Harry linger silently in the corner, nearly being found out by the minister, who seems to sense an odd presence in front of him, before turning away and joining Minerva by the fireplace. Both of them, concealed by the cloak, listen with rapt attention, their faces slowly falling as the conversation begins to unfold.
Alice feels her heart break quietly at the look on Harry's face when he discovers through their words that Sirius Black had been his parents' friend, and had betrayed them to the Dark Lord at the end of the first war. A pang of guilt shudders through her chest as she realizes she might have told him earlier, but had felt a sense of loyalty towards Remus's request that she not disclose anything to Harry.
But then, just as soon her own emotions are overshadowed yet again by a glaring shock upon hearing what McGonagall says next: "Sirius Black has always been, and remains to this day, Harry Potter's godfather..."
Before she knows it, she is stumbling alongside Harry beneath the cloak, out of the shop and into the woods again, desperate to make sense of what had just been said, herself. Harry sobs for a long time, insistent upon her silence though he says nothing to her. It's as though she isn't there, and for a few minutes, Alice questions whether she exists at all, her entire body hollowed out and then poured full of distress and sadness.
Hermione and Ron find the two of them there, Hermione gently pulling away the cloak of invisibility. But Harry is no better for their presence, and, his tears quickly abating and shifting into a glare of pure vengeance, his body trembling as he breathes in and out, he vows that he will be ready when Sirius Black finds him—that he will be ready to kill him.
When the two of them reenter Hogwarts through the secret passageway, Alice is too exhausted to fight Harry as he takes off with the invisibility cloak, leaving her in the entryway of the tunnel and hurrying off, probably to scream into his pillow, in the direction of the boys' dormitory. She stands there for a few moments, seeping in her guilt and wondering what she should do next, before deciding to go out in search of Fred and George.
But she finds Fynn with Draco, instead, the younger boy playing with a white bird that Draco had seemingly conjured for his brother's delight. Upon noticing Alice, though, Draco quickly whips his wand in the direction of the magical animal, vanishing it with an agitated flick. He tries to be angrier than he really is when he says, "You left him with the bloody Weasleys?" disgust marring his face.
Alice looks at him for a moment before stepping forwards, ignoring the younger boy's sudden flinch at her closeness, and says simply, "Draco, you don't have to hate them. You don't have to hate anybody."
After a second of held breath, the floodgates break open, as though her words had been a key, some sort of long-awaited permission to be human, and Draco slumps forward, embracing the older girl like a sister. Startled by his older brother's show of emotion, Fynn makes his way over to them, and hugs Draco's leg carefully, warmly. In midair, the little white bird reappears of its own accord, the cold corridor promptly filled with the sounds of its flapping wings, its high, hopeful song.
The next evening, Harry and Alice find themselves alone in the great hall, Ron and Hermione off somewhere together, the two of them having stayed after the evening meal to catch their breath. Alice is plagued by a need to tell him what she knows about Sirius Black, but knows that to do so—especially at this sensitive time—would only backfire. So, she remains silent. And eventually it is Harry who speaks first.
"There's something I've got to tell somebody, but you have to promise not to tell Ron and Hermione," he says. "I don't want them to have another reason to think I'm... different... from them."
"I promise," Alice says, nodding her head—and sincerely, too, now understanding on a new level the true commitment that a promise demands.
Harry leans closer to her, though the only others in the great hall are house elves. "Professor Lupin," he whispers. "He taught me a new sort of magic. It's called a Patronus, and... and it's for the Dementors."
Alice listens with rapt attention as her friend goes on to recount the day of learning the new spell, and by the time Harry excuses himself to go find Hermione and Ron for something, Alice has decided that this would be the best possible way to regain Remus's trust.
It's clear to the girl that he has been upset with her, for it's been more than a week and still he hasn't even happened upon her once in the corridors or the courtyard. Sure, she'd been trying to avoid him, too, but she cats a sensation that the avoidance hadn't been limited only to her own evasive tactics.
Fynn safe with Draco elsewhere in the castle, Alice slowly ascends the changing staircases and wanders the corridors until she locates Professor Lupin's classroom. She has to gather up all the bravery in her body—severely depleted after her extended stay at the Malfoy Manor—before she can bear to step across the threshold and into the room. But she convinces herself, in the end, that she must do so, and so, she does.
Remus is busy grading papers in his office as she goes silently down the aisle between the students' desks, and plants herself in the doorway. She goes unnoticed at first, as the wizard is extremely focused on deciphering one of his students' abysmal handwriting, and she has to say, "Will you teach me, too?" before he registers her presence, and looks up.
"Harry let slip about the Patronus charm, I take it?" he says at length, surprised to see her there of her own free will, after how embarrassed she must have been last time, and how terribly he'd managed to avoid her for so many days afterward.
"Teach me," she repeats, becoming more insistent with every moment she stands there.
He considers her for a moment before setting down his papers and standing up from his desk. "Alright," he says, "as long as you don't tell anyone. I'm technically not supposed to teach magic to non-students." He breathes in sharply, closing his eyes in disappointment at himself, realizing what he'd said. "I'm sorry..." he starts, but the girl quickly shakes her head, pardoning him.
"I taught Harry about it because of the immediate threat of the Dementors, but the magic is useful in many other situations, too. It may be conjured in dark times, to provide solace for whoever casts it. It can also, in rare cases, be used as a messenger between individuals. It may be corporeal or not—a corporeal Patronus takes the shape of a specific creature that coincides with a witch or wizard's innermost being. The spell is 'Expecto Patronum,' which means-"
"I expect a guardian," interjects Alice, easily piecing the Latin together with a small smile.
"Yes," says Remus, returning her expression, "and it can only work if you hold your happiest memory in your mind, as you deliver the incantation."
Alice nods her head, though something in her jolts unpleasantly at the task of selecting a memory—how will she ever be able to know which is the right one? And in the greyness of her past, how should she distinguish between normal memories, and happy ones? How can she know if a memory is happy, at all?
"Since it would be unreasonable," continues Remus, distracting her from her anxieties for the time being by leading her down into the classroom, where a mysteriously rattling cupboard stands, "to use a real Dementor, we will use a Boggart." Alice's face falls slightly, as she recollects the magical term from one of her textbooks: an object which takes the form of the greatest fear of whoever is in its presence. "Your Patronus will force it back into the cupboard."
Alice finds her fingers to shake slightly as she looks towards the cabinet, wondering what the boggart will take the shape of when the door is opened. Remus, sensing her fear, says, "Often, our true fears are not capable of being put into a physical form. So, the boggart will only imitate the physical thing, or person, that you are most scared of at this particular time in your life. It could be practically anything. Given that, at present..." he pauses, deliberating before deciding that the girl ought to be as prepared as possible, ahead of time. "...I think you might reasonably expect it to take the form of Lucius Malfoy."
Alice swallows, and feels some of the blood drain from her face, sensing that Remus is correct—but she nods her head despite her fear, and squares herself before the cabinet. "I'm ready," she says to him, forcing the words out before her rational mind can convince her otherwise.
"Prepare a happy memory," he instructs gently, taking the handle of the cabinet and readying himself to open it.
"I'm ready," the girl repeats, scrambling through the files of her mind, until she lands on the moment when she'd first seen true wand-magic: when Dumbledore had stood on Privet Drive blow and sent her up a lemon drop.
Nodding his head, Remus opens the cabinet, allowing the door to creak open as Alice raises her wand, preparing himself. Lucius Malfoy steps out of the cabinet and quickly Alice calls out the spell, but the memory of Dumbledore and the taste of the candy on her tongue becomes too quickly jumbled, the images turning grey and then black, falling out of order as she is overtaken by the menacing form of the wicked, white-haired wizard coming towards her, his serpent-head cane clicking against the floor with every other step. The girl considers trying to cast the spell again, but instead her recently-acquired instincts take over, and she cowers away as Lucius grows closer and closer...
Remus acts quickly, sending the boggart back into the cupboard, where it commences to rattle around angrily.
"Why did you do that?" Alice says, struggling to keep her voice from quaking as she draws herself back up to her full height, ashamed of how she'd reacted to the sight of Lucius Malfoy—and not even the real him.
"I think," says Remus sympathetically, "you need a different memory."
"Do it again," she says quickly. "I have it," upset at herself for reacting in such an immature way and determined, now, to succeed and get it all over with as fast as possible.
"Are you sure you have it?" he asks.
"Yes," she insists.
"So be it," Remus mutters as he opens the cupboard once again.
This time, no memory comes to her at all, and when she does try to fall back on that night with Dumbledore and the lemon drop, it is too late. Again, and again, she tries, each time her determination—but also her exhaustion—growing, as the boggart's deadly-accurate imitation of Lucius Malfoy's ice-cold eyes overtakes her again and again.
Until, finally, on the fourteenth try, a new memory comes to her suddenly, filling and warming her mind of its own accord: the evening in the garden behind Ms. Figg's house, when she'd made Remus's water glass shatter, and he'd mended it with his wand, smiling at her—a feeling of companionship and forgiveness that she'd never felt before he'd come along.
"Expecto Patronum!" Alice calls out, seizing the moment for all she's worth.
A beam of white light shoots out of her wand suddenly in response to the joy contained in the memory, and the strength of the incantation, and promptly it morphs into the shape of a wolf, charging directly at Lucius. The boggart collapses on itself and flies backward with astounding speed into the cupboard as Alice's Patronus dissipates. The cupboard itself falls over backward onto the classroom floor with a deafening sound, which suddenly gives way to a great silence, just moments later, the boggart no longer rattling around within.
Alice, winded and spent, stumbles backward, sitting down on the floor with her spinning head between her knees as she catches her breath. Remus, astounded by the force of the girl's Patronus, crosses towards the cabinet, and opens the door warily. But when he does so, he discovers that the cabinet is entirely empty—the boggart isn't inside, at all. She's completely destroyed it.
The wizard laughs happily, impressed and startled by her accomplishment, and he hurries over to the dizzy young witch, extending a hand for her to take, and helping her back to her feet as he congratulates her and leads her to a nearby chair.
"That was excellent!" he says happily, kneeling down in front of her and handing her an entire bar of chocolate from his pocket. "Eat some, it'll help your head."
She nods, an exhausted smile tugging at the corners of her mouth as she takes a delicious bite. But soon, something in Remus twists uncomfortably, as the past minute replays itself inside of his mind, and he realizes that her Patronus had been a wolf... the same as his own.
"What was your memory?" he asks after a moment, not revealing the full depth of his curiosity.
She flushes, and without really thinking, tells him the not-quite-truth, using the original memory which had failed, where Dumbledore had first showed her magic on Privet Drive. Remus nods, not picking up on her dishonesty, and tells himself that maybe, their Patronuses are only identical because they are similar individuals, trying to put the alternative out of his mind.
Despite her decision not to tell him the truth about the memory, though, Alice is still compelled to tell the wizard what she's found out about him—to tell him that she knows why, in just a few days time, he will seemingly disappear from the castle and grounds for the night of the full moon. But she keeps her tongue still, distracting herself with the taste of the chocolate, not wanting to risk ruining what fragile ground she seems to have regained from the success of this impromptu lesson.
Remus sends her off a few minutes later with a second bar of chocolate to serve as a parting reward. When Alice returns to the hallway, something inside of her soars, but something else is left empty: the price she assumes must be paid for such powerful magic. Remus remains behind in his office, quite troubled, thinking hard. Perhaps the girl's sudden actions the week before, when she'd kissed him so blatantly, may have been more than some strange, confused, hormonal instinct. But the wizard has to deny it, shaking his head to himself at the thought, hoping with all his might that this is not the case... for the sake of the girl's own safety, and for his own.
Alice has taken to passing her nights in the Gryffindor common room before the fireplace, incapable of sleeping in the same dormitory as Hermione, too accustomed to being alone and too afraid that she might wake suddenly from an unpleasant nightmare and be forced to explain herself. Tonight, Fynn has joined her on the couch before the gentle orange flames, and he breathes in and out steadily against her neck.
It is nearly midnight when Alice's body shifts, and she stands up—but not consciously; at least, not quite. A sleepy disorientation clings to her moving body, and she sleepwalks across the room towards the entrance, leaving Fynn on the cushions alone, something inside of her telling her that she must get to someone, or something, before it is too late.
She has no light, so the paintings aren't disturbed by the sleepwalker in their midst as she meanders through the corridors.
But before too long, a light does appear, and soon afterward, Harry Potter, holding aloft the marauders' map without his invisibility cloak, his eyes wide and full of anxiety and determination behind his glinting glasses. He notices his friend from down the hall, and calls out her name in an earnest stage whisper. His voice wakes her up all the way, though the sight of his wand's light had already banished some of her disorientation, beforehand.
The girl notices that she must have been sleepwalking, and quickly shakes off the odd sensation from her shoulders, her body and her mind syncing slowly. "What are you doing?" she asks Harry, in the same urgent quiet voice he'd used a moment before.
He doesn't answer her, staring down with wide eyes at the map in his hand, and suddenly saying, "Behind you!"
Alice turns around, but there's only blackness there, thick and secretive. She hurries up to Harry and stands at his side, looking down at the map, which shows footsteps labeled with a banner reading 'Peter Pettigrew' in their immediate vicinity... and grown closer by the second. But though she and Harry continually look around in urgency for the man himself, the light of his wand only extends so far into the darkness. And even when the map shows the footsteps to be passing right beside them, they can see nothing.
"Do you think something's wrong with it?" Alice says with a partly relieved exhale, once the footsteps are shown turning around a corner far down the hallway, past them.
"Put that bloody light out!" exclaims one of the paintings nearby, blinking against the light from Harry's wand.
"Sorry-" Harry starts, but then, quickly, Alice catches sight of Severus Snape approaching on the map, and points, putting a warning finger to her lips. "Mischief managed," Harry whispers under his breath, quickly shoving the map into the pocket of his sweater, and putting the light at the tip of his wand out with a shaky, "Nox," both he and Alice growing as silent as possible, huddling closer to each other in the tense darkness.
But just as soon as Harry has extinguished his own wand, Professor Snape illuminates his, and appears suddenly before the two perpetrators of the curfew, intimidating in his usual black robes, towering over them both.
"Mr. Potter," he says in his sharp drawl, and then looks sideways at Alice who, intimidated, steps a bit closer to Harry. "I'm sure," Snape says to her with a frigid amusement, "that Lucius Malfoy would be comforted to know that his youngest son has been left sleeping alone, in the dead of night. And with such... foul individuals lurking about."
"Light!" complains another of the paintings, finding nothing serious about these mortals' petty trials, but the request is thoroughly ignored.
Harry's jaw tenses at the implications of Snape's words, and Alice looks down in shame and fear that word might get back to Lucius about her sleepwalking.
"Turn out your pockets," Snape demands of Harry, smirking darkly. The boy starts to protest, but Snape wins in the end, and Harry does so, holding out the map: now disguised as a regular piece of folded parchment. But the professor is not fooled, and, touching the tip of his wand to the parchment, he intones "Reveal your secrets," in his slow and dangerous voice.
Alice tenses and shivers against Harry as the ink starts to spread magically over the map. But then her nerves fade as an unexpected message appears on the map's cover. "Read it," Snape says coldly, and Harry obliges, reading the message which seems to have been written in a sarcastic, teenaged hand, some years ago.
"Messrs. Moony, Wormtail Padfoot and Prongs, kindly request..."
"Go on," prompts Snape.
Harry conceals an amused and spiteful smile of his own as he goes on: "Kindly request that Severus Snape keep his abnormally large nose out of other peoples' business."
"You impudent little-" hisses the professor, raising his wand.
But just then, Lupin, in a tweed jacket, steps forward. Harry and Alice's eyes widen in equal parts relief and shame as the light from Snape's wand reveals his shadowy form to them. Snape turns around, following their gazes, his shoulders squaring at the sight of the other professor.
"Ah. Lupin. Out for a walk... in the moonlight... are we?"
The implications of his words aren't lost on Alice, and she has to fight hard to keep an expression of disgust at the black-clothed professor from taking control of her face.
"What seems to be the matter, Severus?" asks Remus. Whatever reaction he may have had to the other professor's words, he keeps it hidden masterfully inside.
"These two are in possession of some sort of dark magic," Snape says, turning a hard, dark gaze on Harry and Alice.
Lupin leans forward and takes the map from Harry, chuckling to himself as he reads the message on the parchment. "I think, professor, that it's quite harmless—merely a trick parchment, meant to insult anyone who touches it. Likely, Mr. Potter found it at a joke shop. But-" he places the map against his chest, tucking it inside of his sweater "-I will certainly take it back to my office for further investigation. And I will handle these two, from here, as well."
Harry and Alice look at each other quietly, Snape's face becoming dark and almost haunted as Remus turns and beckons for the two youngsters to follow him. They do so quickly, relieved to have escaped Professor Snape, but they both know that they are far from the end of their troubles for the night.
Back in the Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom, Alice lingers in the corner while Remus rebukes Harry for not turning in the map sooner. The girl flinches when he tells the boy that he's done his parents' memory a disservice by putting his life in danger in such a way, wandering around the castle in the middle of the night, with Sirius Black on the loose. But a certain tension lifts when Remus straightens up again, his voice becoming gentler, but still stern, Harry shrunken slightly from the pain his favorite professor's disappointment has caused his pride to suffer.
"Now, Harry," Lupin says, "I refuse to cover up for you, again. You're going to go back to bed, and stay there. And if you don't..." he makes a motion indicating the magical map, "I shall know."
"Professor, I should tell you," Harry says before turning away, "earlier, in the corridor, the map said that Peter Pettigrew was in the castle. So, I think it may be a bit faulty."
"That's impossible," says Remus dismissively, though Alice can detect something else behind his eyes when he speaks. "Go back to your common room, and check on the young Mr. Malfoy before you go up to bed."
"Yes, sir. Good night," says Harry apologetically, leaving Alice with a look of nervous camaraderie before returning to the corridor from the classroom.
Remus lets out an inaudible sigh, his shoulders deflating slightly as he sits down on a nearby chair, illuminated by the cold moonlight slanting through the window. The scars on his cheek are black and menacing in the lighting, as he puts the map down on his knees and mutters with a sad smile on his mouth, "I solemnly swear that I am up to no good," causing Alcie's eyes to widen as the ink returns to the map, and Remus unfolds it, doing just as he'd promised, tracing Harry's path through the castle back to Gryffindor Tower.
"No, I haven't forgotten you're there," he says to Alice at length. "Sit down."
"How did you know how to unlock it?" she asks as she does so.
Remus looks up, and points to the cover of the map. "I'm Moony," he says. "Or... I used to be. Now, tell me what you were doing tonight."
"I was sleepwalking."
"Surely."
"I'm not lying," she protests, in earnest.
He looks at her seriously for a moment, and Alice fears that he might look into her mind again, but he doesn't do any such thing. "Alright," he says, seconds later, choosing to believe her.
Unable to contain herself, the girl stands up again. "Harry found out that Sirius Black is his Godfather when we were in Hogsmeade, the other day."
Remus raises his eyebrows, knowing that for the two of them to be in Hogsmeade would constitute illicit behavior, but staying silent, for the moment.
"Why didn't you tell Harry yourself?" Alice asks, pained by the knowledge of how her friend had been tortured by finding out the news so suddenly. "And why won't you let me tell him that he's actually innocent?"
"You'll do no such thing," Remus demands, standing up, something about his voice making her recoil, startled by the sudden shift in his manner. He calms himself, and sits down again quickly. "It was my mistake, in the first place, but I can't allow you to perpetuate it. I shouldn't have given you such sensitive information in the first place."
Part of her wants to argue with him, to accuse him of underestimating her, but she mutes the combative part of herself, and asks instead: "Why did the map show Peter Pettigrew in the castle? It said he was right in front of us, but we didn't see him. He walked right by."
"I couldn't tell you," says Remus, furrowing his eyebrows, and looking back down at the map. "I don't know."
Alice knows from his tone that he has an inkling as to what the truth might be, a vague suspicion at the very least. But she also knows that getting him to tell her would be impossible—and something inside of her is wary of how near to the Full Moon they are, and the threatening way the light falls across his dark scars. So she turns with a bitter, "Good night, Professor," leaving him sitting there in the cold moonlight, poring worriedly over the hauntingly familiar parchment in his hands.
Christmas passes in a blur of glittering disbelief, and on the third of January, the day after his transformation, and the day the students will be returning, and Alice going back to London, Remus Lupin picks himself up and limps to Dumbledore's office.
The headmaster, himself, has been pacing in circles around the room, attempting to dull his anxiety with lemon drop upon lemon drop, but finding no success. So, he is partly relieved when Remus enters, though he knows he will have to be the bearer of bad news, if Remus intends to ask what Albus suspects he does.
And sure enough, the expected question arrives soon after, before Remus has even sat down: a request that Dumbledore reconsider keeping Alice at Hogwarts.
The careworn headmaster shakes his head in the negative direction, but raises a finger of hope. "Cecelia Puttock, for one, has already agreed to take young Alice into her house, as soon as February."
Remus feels his heart sink at the headmaster's words, but only slightly—he'd been careful not to keep his hopes up.
"I must say," Dumbledore continues, taking yet another Lemon Drop out of his candy bowl and placing it on his tongue, "I've noticed a quite palpable change in young Draco over the past weeks. I believe our Mr. Malfoy has gotten far more than he bargained for in a caretaker for his sons."
"Thank you headmaster," Remus managing, poorly shielding his great disappointment as he turns away, not seeing any point in remaining in the office for longer than he must, now that his original hopes have been denied.
But when he has almost reached the Griffin staircase, something tugs at his heart, and bids him turn around. He does so, and walks slowly up the stairs to the upper level of the office, Dumbledore looking at him openly from behind his half-moon spectacles.
"Her Patronus..." he confesses cautiously, trusting that the headmaster will understand his concern, "is a wolf."
Dumbledore remains silent for so long that Remus fears he might be upset with him for teaching her how to perform such powerful magic. But instead, the headmaster nods his head up and down, slowly, pensively, seeming to understand the entirety of the situation and the younger wizard's struggle, from just those few words. "Remus," he says after a long moment, "you've been alone too long. It is my belief that you ought to open yourself to whatever possibilities arrive in your hands. Especially when they arrive naturally. Understanding, sometimes, must come second."
"Thank you, Albus," Remus says, concealing his confusion, and turning, going back down the stairs and making headway towards his own classroom. On the way, he puzzles over Dumbledore's words—surely the old wizard hadn't had a perfect grasp on the issue, in order to offer such unwieldy and enigmatic advice. But something about what he'd said resonates deeply within Remus; and he both longs to see Alice again as soon as possible, and to avoid her for as long as he can.
But he soon discovers that the choice between the two has been made for him: upon entering his classroom, he finds Alice already there, waiting for him, in tears.
She'd been packing her and Fynn's things into their trunks for the return journey on the Hogwarts Express, when it had truly struck her what she was going to have to go back to. And so soon, too: it is already half past eleven in the morning, and the train is set to leave at quarter past noon. Not knowing what else to do, she'd left Fynn in the common room, and had fled to Remus's office, terrified by the prospect of having to be subjected to such horrors—both physical and psychological—again (and especially after experiencing the warm freedom of Hogwarts over the Holidays).
The girl crumbles into his arms, now, upon his arrival, sobbing and begging him almost unintelligibly through her tears, to rescue her. "Don't let me go back," she says, her entire body trembling violently, set upon a blade's edge between sanity and chaos. "Keep me here, even if I have to hide under the floorboards. Don't let him have Fynn back, and Draco..."
Her words dissolve again into meaningless warbles of grief and fear, her arms constricting Remus's lungs almost to n unbearable degree. But he finds it hard to breathe, anyway, as he tries desperately to figure out what to say in response, tempted beyond imagination to deny Dumbledore and keep her in the castle—in the dungeons, if that was how it had to be. Anything to keep her from going back.
But the opportunity to speak is swept out from under his feet by the sudden entrance of Fynn. "Mama?" he says to Alice, concerned, standing in the doorway, having followed her through the corridors from Gryffindor Tower.
"Oh-" the girl says, gasping against the tweed material of Remus's jacket, and wiping hastily at her red face in a futile effort to hide her distress from the child, before turning and picking up the boy, hugging him tightly to her chest while she continues to push down her tears.
Using more power than she's ever used in controlling or producing magic, she pulls herself up again, and speaks to Remus over Fynn's shoulder in a measured voice. "Thank you for your help. I have to go, now. There's our trunks to gather, and goodbyes to make. We can't miss the train."
"Your safety will be ensured, soon," Remus interjects quickly, before she can turn. "By spring."
But though she nods her head, her face—still unseen by Fynn-is blank, and he knows she doesn't believe him. "I really have to go," she says quietly, and then turns away from him, straining to keep in the sobs as she walks down the length of the classroom and towards the corridor.
She's almost at the door, when he stops her yet again. For a moment the girl considers pretending that she hadn't heard him, and continuing to escape down the corridor before she can break down. But her feet won't allow her to do so, and instead she turns halfway around.
"Remember," Remus says urgently. "Remember, in dark times, what I taught you."
"I will," she says, remembering her Patronus, and remembering the memory that had strengthened it, almost smiling before she remembers herself, and straightens her face again. "I was wondering... What shape does yours take?" she asks in parting.
Lupin's mouth lifts in a half-smile. "That, I will have to keep a secret," he answers, "until the right time arrives."
Before departing for the Hogsmeade station, Alice gathers her luggage, finding Harry, Ron and Hermione in the common room and giving them farewell embraces, letting Fynn say his own goodbyes, too, before descending to the main floor.
Draco is lingering just outside of the great hall, waiting for her, when she arrives. "Stay strong," she whispers to him, and he hugs Fynn tightly before stepping back, and letting them go.
Just then, Professor Snape appears behind them, a grim expression on his face. "I've been looking all over the castle for you," he says to Alice sternly. "It's time to leave. You'll be late if you tarry a moment longer, and the train won't be delayed."
On the carriage ride into Hogsmeade, she thinks hard. She thinks of Harry, and sees someone who is always being rescued. And she thinks of herself, and sees with a startling knife of pain in her chest, that she will have to rescue herself. Not even Remus is capable of it—not even Dumbledore.
On the platform, Snape's robes billow out behind him. "Have a safe journey back. Send Mr. Malfoy my best wishes," he says, his voice dark, a terrible smirk twisting his lips as he looks at her: knowingly, and without pity.
"You can be sure that I will," Alice responds, her voice level, before boarding the train.
Spells used in this chapter:
1. "Legilimens" the 'mind-reading' spell
2. "Expecto Patronum," the spell that produces a Patronus. In Latin, it means "I expect a guardian," which I think is poetic and beautiful
3. "Nox," the wand-extinguishing charm, the opposite of "Lumos"
Alright, this update came very late, and I'm frankly disappointed in how long it took me to write it. I had the morning off, today, and finishing this chapter was my first priority. At first, I considered cutting it in half, but then decided against it. Trust me: I was quite productive when I actually had time to sit down and work during this two-day gap, but I only had a few brief moments that were truly free and in settings conducive to the writing process (I am totally incapable of writing fanfiction when sitting in a classroom with people behind me), so it has been difficult. Unfortunately, I do have an excruciatingly busy two weeks ahead (I'm performing in a play this week, and next, I will be hard at work on some very important essays), so this sort of gap between updates may happen a few more times. But once November arrives, a lot of free time is going to open up for me, and I will be able to write and post more frequently!
I'm sorry to confess this, but through writing this fanfic so far, I've really had to come to grips with Dumbledore's real humanness in some matters. We would like to think of him as a divine, godlike wizard who can make no mistakes—indeed, that is how Harry sees him throughout most of the books. But Dumbledore is very much capable of error; there are many plots he concocts and engages in, even within canon, that are quite dangerous to the individuals he mentors (particularly Harry). And though I still adore Dumbledore, I just can't pretend that he's innocent of making some very bad mistakes—even though he always has the best intentions of those depending on him at heart. I don't consider this to be Dumbledore bashing, just a realistic representation of the pressures his character is under. Yes, his role in this story is quite ridiculous for the moment, and he seems to be the main cause of Alice's troubles—but things will even out in due time. It's all a part of the plan, however twisted and meandering the plan may look, at present.
In the same vein, don't be too worried about Snape... he is going to even out soon enough, and Alice will be privy to facets of his character that were always kept away from Harry (until it was too late).
I wrote the bit with Draco's little breakdown right around midnight—I was absolutely bawling, and it wasn't even that poignant. It would totally make me feel better if I knew I wasn't the only one shedding tears. (Hint... hint... please review... please?)
I have to take a moment to laugh at myself when I make these plugs trying to glean reviews out of you guys! But I really would love to hear from you. ;)
I appreciate you all!
Thank you for not plagiarizing my writing!
On_Errand_Bad
13,069 words
Wednesday, 21 October 2020