November Challenge for FallenClan
Be sure to review and let me know what you think!
- Misty
(Song for reading: Silent Darkness (Smothered Life) by Wrathchild America)
The path led deep into the woods, darkened by the thick trees blocking out the sky. Ghostly trails of mist wound among the tree trunks, wetting every leaf, bough, and flower with its touch. It was a path that led away from the light and into blackness, away from silver birch trees and bright berry bushes to looming willow trees, slimy roots, and rotten leaves.
It was ugly.
No StarClan cat ever strayed onto the path, satisfied by the sparkling joys of the afterlife. No more starvation, no more leafbares. No more battles, pain, or unnecessary restraints. It was a peaceful life that no one wished to abandon for trivial exploration. They had better things to do.
The first Dark Forest cat opened her eyes. She had never expected to wake up at all, yet here she was, laying on her side, surrounded by damp soil and crunchy leaves. She had mixed feelings- she certainly hadn't wanted to die, but she had already made up her mind upon her death that her life was finished. Though she hadn't achieved all of her ambitions, her time was up. Now here she was, awakened yet again, in a gloomy forest.
Running Hare didn't believe the elder's tales of the cats in the stars, who came so long ago during the First Battle to hold the warring cats accountable for the great bloodshed. The dead were dead, and even if they did live in the afterlife, they couldn't be bothered with the lives of the living. The clans could solve their own problems.
So was she dead? She was no longer on the moors, running with WindClan. Like a creeper, her memories were slowly trickling back. One memory broke the surface of her amnesia: her death wound. Paws squishing on the peat, she searched for a stream or puddle, so she could view her reflection. She came across a dirty stream, moving sluggishly on its course. Though she could barely make it out, she could see well enough the wound that ran across her throat. She reached up and felt it with a paw, numb to any pain.
It came back black with dried blood.
A more potent piece of memory consumed her senses.
The searing pain as Windstar slashes her claws across her throat. Blood bubbling in her mouth, she falls to the ground, twitching violently as she feels only one emotion before she's gone: pure rage.
"I trusted you." Windstar hisses in her ear as her vision goes black. Out of the corner of her eye she sees Gorse Fur breathing heavily, score marks on his flank from her murderous claws. Deputy by favoritism only. Couldn't Windstar see that her mate was weak?
Blinking, the memory faded, and Running Hare returned to her present situation. It was odd- she wasn't hungry at all, or thirsty, as if her stomach was nonexistent. There were no enemies to fight, no other souls to speak to, just the empty forest. She narrowed her eyes, staring into the gloom. Glancing one more time at the stream, she began to walk forward, exploring her new home.
Running Hare wasn't sure how much time had passed since she'd first arrived in The Place of No Stars, as she began to call it in her mind. The eternal night sky showed in some places through the trees, but not a single star glowed there, and the moon was absent. It was blacker than the most vile heart. Sometimes she heard voices, whispering and wailing in the darkness, but she never saw anything other than a flicker of movement, which was quickly concealed in the shadows. If there were more cats like her, who had been banished here, they must not wish to see what other unsavory creatures shared this place. Running Hare couldn't blame them. She had no desire to see them either.
Strolling through the unholy dark, she looked around for her markers. Glowing mushrooms weren't suitable replacements for the moon and stars, but they were useful for navigation. Smashing them into dust, Running Hare would smear the glowing green spores onto landmarks, like the giant cypress tree, or the trees beside the stream, or the nearly bare bushes surrounding a nearly inescapable patch of swamp. Her sole purpose now was to continue mapping out the forest, and keep replacing the mushroom markers. There was no use for regular scent markers anymore. There were no enemies.
Pinning a large mushroom between her claws, she was reminded of one particular night.
"Close your eyes," Her father whispers, his breath tickling her tiny kit ears. "And imagine where you wish to be."
Running Hare squeezes her eyes shut, concentrating very hard. Her shivering body fights to keep warm in the cold nursery, and she presses close to her father's flank. It is the harshest leafbare anyone in the clan can remember, and Gorse Fur had been saying for ages now that it would be best to move into the tunnels, to shelter from the snow that would arrive soon.
"On the sunny moor, running." Running Hare says finally, opening her blue eyes, though soon they will be green. "With mama."
"Imagine that then." He father says, sadness tainting every word. "Imagine that you're with your mama."
Later that night, as her eyes refuse to shut from the cold, Running Hare sees tiny white flakes trailing down from the sky.
"What is that?" She whispers, causing her father to stir. His breath fogs up the air as he exhales sharply.
"It's snowing." He replies.
They both watch the white flakes trail down, covering the spot in the middle of camp where the freshkill pile had been, spotting the pelts of the clan with white.
There were other kits beside Running Hare at the time, her littermates, but she hadn't known that they were all dead, frozen to death because of Windstar's stubborn refusal to move out of camp.
Out of all her littermates, only Running Hare had survived.
Running Hare found a part of The Place of No Stars that she'd never encountered before. Unlike the dark browns and grays of the rest of the forest, this part was bathed in an eerie white glow. The mist was wraithlike as it danced in the half-light, innocently spinning, expanding, contracting.
Concealing.
Running Hare was overcome with the desire to see what was past the wall of mist, but after walking along its border, she could find no clear path leading into it. After waiting a moment, she hurled herself forward, pressing into the mist.
The mist was no longer innocent. Instead of dancing, it squeezed and choked, as if a cat were wrapping its paws around her neck. Vapor stung in her eyes, and pushed itself up her nose, making her gag. As her mouth opened immediately the mist shoved its way in. She let out another wet gag, collapsing onto the ground, paws on her throat. Her vision started to go black around the edges. There were a few moments of panic as she tried in vain to overcome the mist.
Groaning, she rolled over, forcing herself to stand up. She wasn't going to get stuck here. Step by step, one paw in front of the other. Push through the mist.
With a gasp, she surged forward with all her strength, and the mist parted, letting her fall onto the slimy ground of The Place of No Stars. She breathed heavily, unable to do anything but try to catch her breath.
The golden tabby tom writhes underneath her paws, wheezing. Instead of letting go, Running Hare pushes harder, left paw on his throat.
"Running Hare! What are you doing?" Comes a shout from behind her. Looking around, she sees Gorse Fur sprinting towards her. The tom chooses this moment of distraction to struggle free, running back in the direction of ShadowClan territory. She hisses in the tom's direction before turning back to face Gorse Fur with a scowl.
He scowls back, narrowing his eyes at her. "You could have killed him! We don't need to kill to win our battles."
Running Hare doesn't respond, instead continuing to glare defiantly into Gorse Fur's furious green eyes.
"What's going on?" An authoritative voice meows. Windstar. The wiry brown she-cat looks from Gorse Fur to Running Hare, tail flicking gently back and forth. "Tell me."
"Running Hare nearly killed a ShadowClan warrior." Gorse Fur answers, tail lashing furiously. "After all I've taught you as your mentor, I'd have thought that by now you'd-"
"I'll deal with this, Gorse Fur." Windstar interrupts, silencing her deputy. "Have a few cats mark the new boundary line."
"But-"
"Go."
Nodding respectfully, Gorse Fur finally obeys, leaving Windstar alone with Running Hare.
"I know what's going on." Windstar says simply. Running Hare still doesn't answer, but she can't help but start to tremble with fury. She grits her teeth, telling herself not to cry.
Windstar narrows her eyes, anger creeping into her voice. "I know what ShadowClan did to your father, Running Hare." She glances in the direction of the last fleeing ShadowClan warriors. "I know that you feel like they deserve to pay."
Running Hare manages to nod, swallowing.
But Windstar gestures with her tail to the surrounding moor, standing taller with satisfaction. "But is this not suitable revenge? We've taken a huge swath of territory away from those cats who lurk in the darkness. Ravenstar better watch his tail."
Running Hare nods, but then glances briefly in Gorse Fur's direction, being discrete, but making sure Windstar noticed it. "He doesn't understand, does he?" She mews softly, making her voice break at her next words. "This rage I have, day after day." She spins around, locking eyes with Windstar. "Do you know how many times I stop myself from ripping every ShadowClan warrior's throat out? From screeching my agony out onto the moors? They killed my father. Why should I not kill them in return?" Her final words become a screech, and she collapses on the ground, while Windstar gently runs her tail over her flank.
Running Hare tried many more times to penetrate the wall of mist. It mocked her with its impenetrable whiteness. Every time was the same. The mist would choke her, forcing her to escape, and every time she would end up on the side she had started from. Even if she pushed as hard as she could, and was sure she was moving forward, somehow the mist spun her around.
So after one more failure, she just stopped. Stopped caring. She no longer renewed her mushroom markers, instead letting herself wander the forest, getting lost. She no longer knew where she was, but it didn't matter. None of it really did, anyway. She was already dead. Doomed to wander alone in that star-forsaken place for all eternity.
Her mind slowly began to leave her over the moons and seasons and lifetimes of her solitary existence. Her steps used to be carried by memories, and on occasion she'd fall into their comforting embrace, hoping that one day, she'd never have to leave them. Almost all of her memories were painful, but they were still better than the reality she faced at all other times.
But soon those too faded away, and she was left an empty shell of her former self, wandering the Dark Forest.
Many lifetimes later, she made what should have been the discovery of a lifetime. She saw others. Like herself, banished to those woods. Her paws were hesitant. Should she approach one of them? The tortoiseshell she-cat with the wound in her heart? The dark brown and white tom with the icy blue eyes and hole in his throat? The flat-faced tom with the broken tail? Or the one who seemed to lead them all, the huge dark brown tabby tom with haunting amber eyes?
Her question ended up being answered for her, when a young tom ran straight past her, not even glancing in her direction. Or when a she-cat seemed to look right through her.
Of course. Slowly, her paws only skimming the ground, she made her way to the dark stream in which she'd viewed herself her very first day arriving. Lowering her head over the sluggishly moving water, her eyes skimmed the surface. She saw no reflection. She stared down at her ghostly paws, down her transparent flank, to the tip of her nearly imperceivable tail.
I'm almost gone. Probably forgotten. She'd heard the Dark Forest cats talk. When a cat was no longer remembered, when they faded from the memories of the living, they too faded in the afterlife. She could barely remember who she was. Or had been.
Then suddenly, the cats of the Dark Forest left. They'd been talking for moons about their invasion of the clans, which she could care less about. But still, she awaited their triumphant return, for there was nothing better for her to do.
So, sitting in the middle of the clearing, transparent tail wrapped around her nearly nonexistent paws, she waited. And waited.
Moons passed before she finally decided that they weren't coming back. She stood up and stretched, pacing around in the circle in the dank soil. They had been her only source of entertainment for so long now, what was she to do now?
She let her paws guide her, passing patches of glowing green mushrooms, looming cypress and willow trees with slimy bark, past open clearings where if she looked up she could see the starless sky. The murky darkness lightened, and she faced a wall of white.
Her old enemy. The mist.
She stared it up and down, eyes calming gliding like raptors along its surface. After a few moments she began to walk along its edge, scanning the wall carefully. All white, blank, swirling, nothingness.
"We're the same now," She meowed softly, her voice sounding as if it were coming from far away. She continued her walk, not sure exactly what she was searching for, but she knew that she'd know what it was once she found it.
She almost missed it once she found it, but her eyes were sharp, and she detected the abnormality in the barrier at once. Unlike the rest of the mist, this part shifted uncertainly, as if it were trying to conceal its tiny weakness. She padded forward, until the mist touched her nose. She stared blankly ahead, then began to walk down the path through the mist.
The path was long, but time no longer held much meaning to her now. It was different than anything she'd ever encountered in several lifetimes. The air in the path was cool and loose, a far cry from the malicious tightness of the rest of the wall. And it was bathed in gray shadows, softer than the shadows of The Place of No Stars.
As she walked, the shadows grew lighter and lighter, until they barely were even there. And then the path ended. She was greeted by dazzling starlight, silver birch trees and lush green berry bushes, moonlight dappling their leaves. It was a land bathed in mist and shadows, but they could barely be called shadows, mere impressions in comparison to the ones in The Place of No Stars. Eyes adjusting to the startling brightness, she looked around, realizing that not all of the stars were just part of the mist.
They were actual cats. Creatures that sparkled beyond comprehension, laughing to one another as they frolic through pristine green fields, shining forests, and clear bubbling rivers. The overwhelming scent of prey filled her nostrils, and she wished dearly that her dead stomach would rumble, and that her paws would itch to give chase.
But instead of the thrill of the hunt, she felt a quiet rage build within her, a dangerous fire burning in her paling chest. So this was what she'd been doomed to never see. The mist and its cruel dancing, laughing with amusement as she'd tried many times to pass through. Such beauty that it had been concealing! And such bitterness that plagued her soul.
She'd tried forgetting.
She'd tried to believe that an ancient spirit like her could be amused by the petty revenge of the Dark Forest cats.
She'd tried to fade away, but yet a ghost of her still remained.
Now she was here, the very source of her hatred.
Everything that had kept her buried and bound was here.
Waiting for her.
Her paws floating above the soft green grass, she walked past many cats, all blind to her presence. Her faded appearance hadn't failed her. She passed sparkling ponds surrounded by softly swaying reeds, silvery fish swimming in their depths. Past large gray stones that reflected the moonlight, where many starry cats slept, pressed close to a companion, or stretched out alone in comfort. She traveled across a moor bathed in starshine, rabbits and hares swarming past her in herds.
One rabbit was slower than the others, and a wiry brown she-cat took advantage of this, running as swift as the wind. With a leap that was the envy of the most nimble of deer, the she-cat pounced on the rabbit, killing it with a clean bite to the neck.
Then she saw her.
"Oh! I didn't see you." Windstar meowed, yellow eyes widening. She dropped the rabbit at her paws. She purred with amusement. "Very ancient, I see. Not many can see you, am I right?"
She didn't answer, only continuing to stare.
"I mean, I can see you." Windstar continued after a pause. "You see, most likely, I know you. I'll bet we may have even met each other in life."
She stepped closer, until she was nose to nose with Windstar. "I think we have."
The curious gleam in Windstar's eyes faded, and she stepped back.
"Who…" Recognition ignited in Windstar's eyes. "Running Hare?" Windstar's expression turned to one of fury. "What- what are you doing here? Why are you here? How dare you come! I thought-"
But Running Hare didn't answer. Hearing her name sparked a memory, and just like that, it came flowing into her mind like the swiftest river. She was washed away into the past.
Running Hare eyes Gorse Fur from the other side of camp, carefully watching the spiky furred tom's movements. All the patrols are sent off, and only a few stragglers remain in camp, including herself. After waiting a few more moments, Running Hare calls out to Gorse Fur.
"Gorse Fur! May I speak to you?"
The gray deputy looks over, whiskers twitching with curiosity. "Yes, Running Hare? What do you need?"
"I need to show you something I found the other day." Running Hare keeps her voice light, as if it is a trivial matter. "A little ways outside of camp."
Gorse Fur checks to see if there's anything left to be done in the camp, then turns back to Running Hare and nods. "Alright. Show me."
She leads the deputy a decent distance out of camp, out of the path of any returning patrols. She knows where they were sent today: all in opposite directions. Gorse Fur is patiently waiting behind her. He twitches an ear expectantly.
Running Hare bares her teeth, and before Gorse Fur can react she's on top of him, tearing into his flesh. Her paws burn with heat, and her chest rumbles with rage as she bites down on his shoulder. She relishes his pained screech.
"What are you doing?" Gorse Fur howls, his green eyes pleading for an explanation.
Running Hare likes watching the pathetic tom beg. She doesn't answer, instead driving her claws in deeper, listening to the echo of Gorse Fur's tortured cries. Finally, she prepares to lunge for his throat for the killing bite.
Until Gorse Fur sees an opening, and thrusts his hind paws upward, hitting Running Hare's belly. She falls off of him, air whooshing out of her chest.
Gorse Fur aims a few blows at her while she's down. "Traitor!" He hisses, slicing a cut into Running Hare's ear. She scrambles to her feet, determined not to let her quarry escape. With a blood curdling screech, she launches herself toward Gorse Fur yet again, overpowering the tom easily. Her rage is just too potent- fueling her every move, sharpening her teeth and claws.
Her claws sink into Gorse Fur's throat, and blood bubbles up beneath her paws. Gorse Fur struggles violently, gurgling, but his movements begin to weaken as his airways are blocked and he loses more blood. He's finally starting to become still when Running Hare hears an enraged yowl behind her.
"Gorse Fur! No!" It's Windstar. In moments Running Hare is torn off of Gorse Fur, and the leader tends to her mate and deputy, frantically checking to see if he's still breathing. She seems relieved, and she turns away from him to face Running Hare, emotions playing across her face as fast as the beat of a hummingbird's wing. From fear to shock to anger.
"Running Hare…" Windstar gasps, then her eyes narrow. "You- you tried to kill him! Your deputy! My mate!" With a battle cry of vengeance, she attacks Running Hare, who parries with her blow for blow. Windstar manages to rip some fur off of Running Hare's shoulder, while Running Hare scores a cut in Windstar's left ear.
All Running Hare can see is red, and she comes harder, thrusting Windstar back with a good shove of her forepaws. Windstar staggers, and this is exactly what Running Hare has been waiting for, and she leaps onto Windstar's back, sinking her fangs into the leader's scruff.
Windstar roars with pain, and rolls, squishing Running Hare beneath her. The leader scrambles off of her, and Running Hare springs to her paws, ready. She stands there facing Windstar, whose eyes glimmer oddly in the fading light.
Then Windstar's claws flash across Running Hare's throat, and the first thing she does is look down, watching bright red blood splatter onto the ground. Her blood. She stares up at Windstar, not comprehending.
Windstar shakes her head, trembling as her breath comes in gasps. "Running Hare. You were like another daughter to me. I took you in after your father's death, gave you Gorse Fur as a mentor…" Her voice breaks. "And this- this is how you repay me? By trying to kill not only Gorse Fur, but your own leader?" She steps back, and Running Hare falls to the ground, eyes glazing over.
"I trusted you."
"You don't belong here." Windstar growled, bristling as she faced Running Hare. "You were sentenced to the Dark Forest." She lifted her head haughtily. "You should have died with the rest of the Dark Forest cats, fighting in that hopeless battle against the clans. I don't know how you survived, but…" Windstar trailed off, staring at Running Hare. Analyzing. "Have you come to try your luck again? Have you come to kill me?" She scoffed.
Running Hare didn't answer. She could. She imagined sinking her claws into Windstar's pelt, ripping out her throat. Clawing out her eyes, slicing open her stomach. Watching her intestines spill out, blood gushing onto the ground.
The rage growled within her, urging her to unsheathe her claws, and finish the job. Finally get her revenge. Finally be satisfied.
But she silenced it, letting her shoulders slump.
"No, I haven't." She meowed, something in her voice making Windstar's face slacken with surprise. "All these moons… lifetimes…" She trailed off, staring sadly into Windstar's eyes. "I've had time to reflect. I was stupid Windstar. Not only that, but I let myself become tortured by the tragedy in my life. I was consumed by ambition, rage, the need for revenge… when I should have seen what was right in front of me." Her eyes glistened. "You were always there for me Windstar. Through all my pain, sadness, you and Gorse Fur were the only ones who believed in me after my father died. I should have never betrayed you."
She finally let the tears come, shaking with sobs, nearly invisible tears landing onto the ground like tiny shards of ice. She didn't know how long it was until she felt a gentle tail being laid on her shoulders. Startled, she looked up into Windstar's yellow eyes, which looked uncertain, but they held a hint of hope.
"Do you… really mean that?" Windstar meowed incredulously.
Running Hare could only bear to nod, returning Windstar's gaze hesitantly.
Windstar voice was soft. "I… I forgive you, Running Hare." Her face lost its tight look as well, and she nuzzled Running Hare's cheek. "I can't believe it. You've come back to us."
Yes. Running Hare couldn't help but feel surprised. Windstar had believed her words.
Although, she had almost believed them herself.
That was only thing they had in common.
One moment, they were pressed together.
Reconciled.
The next, Windstar stumbled back, staring in shock at the gaping hole in her chest.
Running Hare stepped away, left paw dripping with blood.
Windstar's eyes went impossibly wide.
She tried to form a word, anything at all, but nothing came.
There were no words for this.
Fool me one, damn you.
Fool me twice, I be damned.
A tingle went up Running Hare's spine as she watched Windstar crumple to the ground. Darkness crowded her vision, smothering like the mist, but instead wreathing around her, it accompanied her, like a friend. It had always been her constant companion for all these years. As Windstar began to grow still, Running Hare consoled the beast inside of her, reveling in its malicious satisfaction. It was done.
She wondered briefly if she should give Windstar a few parting words, poetry for the journey into the dimensions beyond StarClan. But that wasn't true to her nature. She'd always been the silent one. Any words that she had wished to say were buried with the maggots to feast upon long ago. With her light. Joy. And guilt.
And she walked back across the starry moors, Running Hare felt the presence of time. All these moons, time had stood still for her. It had stopped at sunset of the day she'd left the living world. The sun had been trapped, already sinking, but it could not sink any further. The skies were eternally bathed in an orange glow, resembling the fire that had been burning with Running Hare for as long as she could remember. A rage that kept her from fading from memory long ago.
She found the misty path that led back into The Place of No Stars, trading light for darkness.
She no longer felt the burning rage as she had before. It was replaced by a chilling numbness, a grim cold satisfaction that could only come from the promise of many more years of hell to come.