Seventh: This chapter shows a bit of what's wrong.
YDPP: I figured I'd destroy her stuff as punishment for existing. Heh. And, yeah, Remy is lonely. Hope you had power all day! And wrapping paper is so overrated!
Eva: Batman is totally cute. Hehehe.
Ilessthree: Your Christmas mood was blue? I don't even know if they're going to move in together yet.
Kj: I don't remember insisting on killing anyone…but I have no plans to kill Chase. Lol. None yet anyway.
JB: I was looking at pics of them and thought the white ones were the cutest. I haven't even decided whether Cam is going back to her place or not yet.
Less than 13: It was either Batman or Batdog…but since I call my own dog Batdog (she has ears that look like wings), I figured I'd go with the former. I want 13 to go…but convincing her is another story. And the three hours…er…sat on the couch. Which is why I didn't type much about it. Ha.
Wonderous: Well...knowing me, there'll prolly be intense arguments in the future. Heh.
Ina: I'm always protective of my characters. Lol. Whyyy do you want her? o_o Are you sure you wanna get to know her? Haha. She's kinda...er...dull. But, fiiiiiine. Here. Take her. Just make sure to give her back! Unharmed. Physically and mentally. Yeah, she has a hard time trusting Cameron...bc Cameron is potentially going to leave.
Dae: Thank you!
Somuch: Ha. Lighter for /now/. If I don't give you all some 'lighter' stuff, you'll all leave...so enjoy it while you have it!
Wesley: It's okay. And I wish I had something to do other than lie around and read (er...well...write in my case) fanfic! Batman'll totally keep Cameron safe. Now, Remy, on the other hand...-snickers-
Nameless: Huh...Batman or a taser. Good thing the gift was for Cam, cause I totally woulda chose the taser. Bahahaha. I'm just waiting for my Frosty/suspenders poem!
Amazon: Why do you all think I'm going to kill people?! Hahaha. I'm like...best friends with my defibrillator on my new surgeon game. I can keep people alive! I'm definitely not killing House. He's the safest out of...all the characters, minus Batman. Batman has a guaranteed life too. Chase will be back next chapter. And...at least it was cold water and not pure icecubes. I got a few cubes of ice stored away.
Agajda: Ahhh. Ok. I'm happy I understand your name now. It was bugging me trying to figure it out. Ha. And, yeah, that's me...the secret spy. Haha. I'm not much of a spy person. That'd be too one-person focused. I'm much more of a world-domination person, y'know?
So...I was half asleep typing those replies. I don't think I missed anyone...but sorry for typos.
So...I have a scene planned out...for like...forever from now. Which not only means this fic will be very long...but also that I really have no life to be planning out random scenes.
Thirteen's POV:
"Remy!"
You wake up for the second time in two hours to Cameron screaming your name and crying in her sleep. The first time you soothed her back to a peaceful sleep without waking her but she wasn't curled up at your side shaking like she is now. "Hey," you whisper, rubbing your hand up and down her back.
"No," she sobs and curls up closer to you, gripping the fabric of your nightgown. "No. Remy, help. Remy!"
"I'm right here." You sit up, pulling her up with you. Propping yourself up against the backboard of your bed, you cradle her on your lap. She's drenched in sweat but you hold her close anyway. "Allison, wake up."
"Please, get off," she pleads, twisting in your arms then curling up closer to you. She crosses her legs and squeezes them together, placing her hands down there to restrict access to beneath her pants. "S-stop! I w-want R-Remy!"
"Allison!" Sliding your injured arm around her to support her, you ignore the pain suddenly shooting up through your wrist. Using your good hand, you shake her shoulder.
"No!" Her eyes open and she jerks away from you but doesn't managed to escape your tight grip on her. It doesn't take you reassuring her for her to realize it's you holding her. In a matter of milliseconds, she has a death-grip on the back of your nightgown and is trying to hide her face between your neck and shoulder.
"It was just a dream," you try to soothe her, rubbing the spot between her shoulder blades. "You're safe. I have you."
"I was…He did…and just…I…" She mumbles, warm tears running down her cheeks and falling onto your bare shoulder, sliding down your skin until they soak into your nightgown. "A-and y-you…I th-thought…"
"Shhh. Allison, I can't understand you when you're crying." You wonder if she even knows what she's saying to begin with. "Let's lay back down, okay? You need to go back to sleep."
"I can't!" She sniffles and shakes her head. She lets go of your nightgown with one hand. "I can't. It hurts."
Exhausted, you hold back an exasperated sigh and remind yourself she's obviously as tired as you are and probably just as frustrated. "What hurts?" You stop rubbing her shoulders and place your hand on the back of her head, contemplating trying to rock her back to sleep. When she doesn't answer your question, you close your eyes and try to think but end up focusing on yawning. "Listen," you mumble, turning your head so your face is buried against her hair. "I'm not going to play guessing games with you at four-thirty in the morning. If something hurts, you need to tell me what it is."
"I can't…" She shakes her head, trembling with silent sobs. Her hand slips down to between her legs and she starts rubbing the inside of one of her thighs where you know she has bruises. "It hurts."
"You had your legs crossed too tight. It'll stop, but rubbing isn't going to help." You take her hand and lace your fingers. "Do you want ice or pain medicine or something?" Thinking about them makes your wrist ache more and you realize you need something for yourself too.
Nodding, she tightens her grip on you for a moment before slowly pulling back. "Please."
"Alright." You move from behind her and stand beside the bed, stroking her back with your fingertips. "Lay down. I'll be right back." You wait until she curls up on her side then cover her up with the blankets. "The dog probably needs to go out too." Walking over to the closet, you grab one of your sweatshirts then toss it on the bed, watching her as she grabs it and hugs it close.
Despite it being winter, you slip on flip-flops before you leave the bedroom and shut the door behind you. About two feet down the hall, you trip over something but manage to stay upright. Scowling, you glance down at one of your sneakers that now has teeth marks in it. "You stupid dog," you hiss. "You better be hiding with your tail between your legs."
Stopping in the living room, you glance around for Batman. He's sitting beside the door, wagging his tail. Narrowing your eyes, you keep your gaze fixed on him as you walk over to the couch and fold the blanket on it. You had been sleeping there until Cameron had started crying the first time. "What are you looking at?" you ask the puppy, placing the folded blanket on the back of the couch. "Do you need to go out?"
Batman stands and runs in a circle then presses his nose to the corner of the door and barks.
"Be quiet," you whisper. "If you're noisy, you'll keep Allison up." His leash is hanging on a hook by the door and you grab it and straighten it out. "Come here."
Batman lowers the front half of himself to the floor, holding his behind in the air and wiggling it playfully. He growls at you then lets his tongue hang out of the side of his mouth, drool leaving a small puddle on your floor.
"Yeah, grrr," you growl back half-heartedly. "Come on." You take a step toward him and lean down to hook the leash on his collar.
Batman barks then darts past the leash and between your legs. He leaps up onto the couch then turns to face you and growls again.
Spinning around, you narrow your eyes at him. "I'm not screwing around, Dog," you whisper. "Come here. Now."
Batman jumps off the couch and rushes toward you. He runs in a circle around your legs then starts nipping at your feet.
"Ow! Damn it!" You lift your foot as he bites one of your toes and jump up and down a few times. "No, bad dog. I can take you back. I'll sell you to the Chinese restaurant down the street."
Being scolded and threatened doesn't seem to faze him. He grabs your sneaker he hasn't chewed and drags it across the floor, eyeing you carefully.
"You think this is funny? I'll give you back to Rebecca. Then you'll wish I gave you to the Chinese restaurant." Running your fingers through your hair, you close your eyes to ward off a headache. These past few days have been even more exhausting than the hell House tends to put you through. Opening your eyes again, you find him sitting at your feet. Reaching down, you scoop him up just as he's about to dart away.
Batman squirms in your arms and makes it nearly impossible to hook his leash. He nuzzles his face against your shoulder, licking the area Cameron's tears were landing on.
"You're lucky you're cute," you mumble, finally getting the leash on him. "Let's make this walk quick. Just remember, if you get loose, there is no way in hell I'm running down the street yelling your name." You place him on the ground and wrap the leash a few times around your wrist, hoping Cameron will be sleeping again by the time you return.
You open the door and take a few steps into the hall, tripping over a giant box in front of your door. Trying not to fall on your face, you jump a few times but only manage to get tangled in Batman's leash and fall on your butt.
"Graceful," Rebecca comments, arching a brow at you as she walks down the hall. "The clubs were all empty, but I think you just made my night. Nice underwear, by the way. They're sexy even though I'd prefer you without them."
Groaning, you yank your nightgown down and hit the back of your head against the wall. "Why the hell is there a box in front of my door?"
"I dunno." She sticks a piece of gum in her mouth and leans against the wall, not bothering to help you up. "Bought a new outfit. What do you think?"
"You might as well just have gone out naked," you answer, looking her over. Her shirt is more like a bra and her skirt barely covers her thighs.
"Wouldn't have bothered you if I came home that way." She smirks and winks at you. "You busy?"
"Yes," you answer, not missing a beat. "I need to walk the dog, open this damn box, then take care of Cameron."
"Well, just look at all that responsibility you're taking on." Rebecca walks over to you and kneels in front of you. "You don't need a quick break?"
Gripping Batman's leash tighter, you draw in a sharp breath as her hands find your chest. "I don't have time. The dog is here."
"He'd be lucky to watch." She kisses your earlobe and slides a hand under your nightgown, causing you to arch your back.
"I can't," you manage, pushing her away. "Not right now."
Pulling back, she seems to study you for a moment. "Too bad," she comments, getting to her feet. "Maybe tonight?"
"Maybe," you say. Swallowing hard, you sink back against the wall as she walks down the hall and to her apartment. You feel almost like you're cheating on Cameron. One look at Rebecca's ass though makes you regret your decision, but it's too late now. You're dying and will live how you want without anyone holding you back.
Getting to your knees, you kneel in front of the cardboard box and glance it over. It's held together with flimsy tape and you open it by sliding your fingernail down the middle of it. Pulling the flaps open, you think it's empty until you notice the dead robin in the corner. Swearing under your breath, you quickly get to your feet and kick the box to the side. Seeming to pick up on your fright, Batman starts growling at the box.
Disgusted, you cross your arms for a moment and just stare. It had to have come from the same person who wrote on you're wall, whom you suspect is the same person who hurt Cameron. After shutting your door and locking it, you kick the box down the hall and outside with your foot. It makes you nervous to be outside alone at night now, wondering if the guy could possibly hurt you too. You put the box beside the trashcan and smirk as Batman decides to pee on it. "Good boy."
Batman wags his tail at the praise and sniffs around for a few moments before dragging you back inside. He stops at each door on the way to your apartment, sniffing under the cracks and refusing to budge until you practically drag him down the hall.
"Dog, you are getting on my last nerve," you warn him as you unlock your door then go inside. You wait until the door is shut behind you to take him off the leash. He runs circles around your legs as you relock the door and hang the leash on the wall. "Don't you ever get tired?"
Barking, he darts down the hall and toward your bedroom.
"Of course," you mumble and rub your forehead. Walking into the kitchen, you glance at the clock. It's going on five and you have to get up at eight. You consider calling in sick, but you know you won't, especially since Cameron has to go into work too. It takes a moment of going through your medicine cabinet to find pain medicine. You take two of the pills yourself then empty one out on your palm for Cameron before getting a glass of water and an icepack.
When you get back to the bedroom, she's still awake. Batman is resting beside her and she's running her fingers through his fur. "Did you take him out?" she asks, glancing at you.
"Yeah." You don't tell her about the box or Rebecca. "Here, sit up." You take a seat on your side of the bed and hold out the pill and water.
"Thanks." She slowly pushes herself up then takes the medicine, drinking all the water and placing the empty glass on the nightstand. Glancing away in shame, she takes the icepack from you and hesitates a moment before placing it between her thighs. "You're not going back out to the couch are you?" She gives you a pleading look for you to stay.
"Not if you don't want me to," you answer. The couch hurts your back and you'd much rather be with her anyway. "Do you need me to hold you for awhile?" When she gives a small nod, you lie down on your side and pat the spot in front of you. She curls up with her back against your chest and you wrap an arm around her, holding her tightly.
"I'm scared to sleep," she whispers quietly, gripping your arm where it isn't injured. "I don't want anymore dreams."
"I know, but we both need to sleep." You close your eyes but try to stay awake. "I'm right here, okay?" You feel her relax and sink back against you.
-----
A knock on the door wakes you up at six. If it's whoever's after Cameron, you add this to all of your reasons to kill him. If it's anyone else, you plan on making a new list of reasons to kill whoever it is.
Groaning, you slowly open your eyes and are relieved to see Cameron is fast asleep with Batman snuggled against her. Being careful not to wake her, you ease yourself off the bed then tiptoe out of the room. Not bothering to look through the peephole, you grab an umbrella with a pointy end and swing the door open.
"Watch it!" Kutner stumbles back, staring in horror at the umbrella.
"What are you doing here?" You glare at him, clutching the doorknob with the hand that isn't holding the umbrella. It sends pain up your arm but you ignore it. "It's six in the morning."
"Well, it looks like I'm about to get impaled," he replies, eyeing the umbrella even as you toss it on the floor. "You didn't get House's page? We have a patient. I thought I'd bring you coffee. It's decaf."
You don't even know where you pager is right now. "Thanks," you mutter, taking one of the coffee cups he's holding. Stepping aside, you let him in. "You couldn't have taken it to the hospital?"
"It would have gotten cold," he answers. "You look like you just got out of bed."
"You woke me up." You take a few sips of the coffee, glancing toward the hall as Cameron and Batman suddenly appear near the edge of the living room. She rubs at her eyes, looking even more tired than you feel. "Go back to bed," you tell her. "I'll call you off."
"Do you have to go in early?" she asks, eyeing Kutner before looking at you. "I can just sleep in the lounge until my shift starts."
"You're not sleeping in the lounge." You switch the coffee cup from one hand to the other as it starts to burn your hand. Frowning, you watch Kutner fiddle with the dog leash. "Don't touch that," you warn, swatting at his hand. "Or anything else. If you plan on waiting, just…stand there."
"Okay," he says cheerfully. He shoves his hands in his pockets. "I'll just stand here."
Out of the corner of your eye, you see Cameron smirk and your cheeks start burning. Reassuring yourself Kutner does not have a crush on you, you take a few more sips of coffee then walk toward the hall. "Go back to bed," you tell Cameron, stopping beside her.
"I don't need to go back to bed," she replies, shaking her head. She crosses her arms across her chest. "I'm going to get dressed then makes us breakfast quick. Waffles sound okay?"
"Yeah. I'm going to get a shower." And you're going back to bed when you're done making breakfast. Your sneaker trips you again as you start walking. "Damn it." You pick it up and glare at it.
"Is she having a bad day?" Kutner whispers.
"I'm not having a bad day." Turning around, you throw your sneaker at him. It misses by an inch because he jumps out of the way. The two of them snicker as you walk the rest of the way back to the bathroom.
Trying not to burn your mouth and throat, you gulp down the rest of the coffee and shut the bathroom door behind you. You toss the empty cup in the paper can then pull of your nightgown and let it drop to the floor. The door nudges open while you're pulling off your panties and a little, black nose pokes its way into the bathroom. Groaning, you slowly shut the door again. "Go away." Putting your foot in front of the door, you unwrap your wrist and place the cloth on the sink.
Eyeing the door, you turn on the water and place your hand under the spray as you wait for it to get relatively hot. "Dog, I swear," you warn as the door opens again. You push it closed and move the paper can in front of it to keep it that way. After retrieving one of your razors from their current hiding spot, you hop in the shower and stand directly under the water.
It only takes a moment to wash off then you stare at the razor, debating. The pain might wake you up a bit. Watching your own blood flow might drain you of loneliness and the fear Cameron is going to hurt you by leaving. There doesn't seem like any reasons not to do it. One option would be to numb your emotions by turning them into physical pain while the other option would be to hold them back until you explode. You pick a place on your injured arm where Frosty already left several slices. That way, Cameron won't notice because you doubt she counted how many cuts are there.
Holding your arm under the shower spray, you slide the razor smoothly across your skin. It takes a moment of feeling nothing before the stinging starts and the blood runs from the cut. It feels good but you immediately regret it, just like you always do. The regret makes you want to do it again as punishment and you press the blade closer to your wrist. It's a little closer to your wrist than where you normally choose to cut, but there are already so many cuts on that arm. Just as your about to press the blade harder, there's a loud thump that causes you to drop the razor in shock.
Peeking around the curtain, you notice your paper can on its side and Batman trotting into the bathroom. He glances at you and wags his tail then walks over to the shower and stands so his front paws are on the edge.
"Allison!" you call, using your foot to push him back down. "Come get your mutt!"
"I can't!" she replies. "I'm busy!"
You glare at Batman as he puts his paws on the edge again and sticks his head under the shower spray. It takes him a moment to realize he's getting wet and he whimpers then darts from the bathroom.
Rolling your eyes, you pick up the razor and rinse off the blood. Grabbing a dark washrag, you press it to the cut until it stops bleeding and it's only stinging. Tears well up in your eyes but you bite them back, not allowing yourself the comfort of crying. Exhaustion makes it harder than usual to hold back but reminding yourself Cameron might go all comforting on you if she thinks you've been crying helps. A role reversal with her holding you for once doesn't seem all that bad but you're not going to damage your tough-guy look for it. Not only do you not want to seem vulnerable, you have to seem like you're a reliable person to Cameron. Your normal self-destructive ways of drinking, drugs, and women will have to change to something more hidden like cutting for the time being.
After turning off the water, you wrap yourself in a towel and set to cleaning up the bathroom. The razor gets hidden again and you put your paper can back in its normal spot, reminding yourself to get the door fixed so it can't be pushed open if it isn't locked. You rewrap your wrist, trying not to flinch at how much it hurts.
Batman is sulking in the hall as you walk out of the bathroom. He's rubbing his wet fur with his paws and trying to rub his face across the floor.
"See, that's what happens when you're bad." You consider drying him off but he'll be dry soon enough. Leaving him to pout, you walk into the bedroom and change into jeans and long-sleeved grey shirt. The bed is calling to you but you know you'll fall asleep if you rest for even a second. You grab a light jacket from your closet then the hoodie off your bed and walk to the kitchen.
Kutner and Cameron are standing several feet away from each other eating waffles. You grab the waffle you suppose is your own and hold it with your mouth as she slides on the jacket. "We should eat while we go," you mumble through the food, tossing Cameron the hoodie.
"You can't wear that," she comments, putting her waffle down then sliding the sweatshirt over her head. "You'll freeze."
"I won't freeze," you argue, pulling the waffle from your mouth. You take a bite of it then nod at the hoodie you gave her. "That's light too."
"No, it isn't. What you're wearing was made for spring. It's the middle of winter." Frowning, she picks her waffle up again. "You need something heavier or you'll get sick."
"I'm not going to get sick. Like I said, your hoodie isn't heavy either." You glance at Kutner because he's arching an eyebrow at you. You realize what Cameron is wearing is just fine but you want to prolong the argument so you can feel cared about.
Finishing her waffle, she tugs at the sleeve of the hoodie and looks it over. "Yes, it is," she argues. Seeming to be getting upset, she wraps her arms around herself. "It's like ten degrees out. You need a real jacket."
"I didn't even wear a jacket while I was walking the dog," you reply. Taking another bite of your waffle, you glance out the window. "It's warmer than ten degrees and we're only going to the car."
"You went outside in your nightgown?" Furrowing her brows, she gives you a worried look. "It's cold out, Remy. Please, put another jacket on."
"I'm not putting another jacket on. We need to leave before House comes and gets us himself." Grabbing your keys, you walk to the door and slip on your shoes, glad to have a pair that hasn't been chewed. "Are you coming or are you going back to bed? I'll put on a better jacket if you go back to bed."
Opening the door, Kutner makes a hissing noise at the two of you then steps out into the hall.
"Why do you have to be like that?" Cameron asks you, ignoring Kutner. "If you would tell me what's wrong…"
"There's nothing wrong." You follow her into the hall then shut and lock your door. "I'm fine. You're the one getting all worked up." The concerned look she's giving you makes you feel guilty but at the same time provides some sort of satisfaction. "I'm fine," you repeat.
"I know you're lying to me," she replies, following Kutner until you're all outside. She seems to almost debate with herself for a moment before going with you to your car. "What's wrong, Remy? Are you still upset over yesterday?" She opens the passenger's side door once you unlock the car and gets in.
"There isn't anything wrong." You walk to the driver's side and get in. You wonder if you push her away if it'll hurt less when she leaves. Knowing you should soak up the time you have with her is logical but also ends the worst way. Shutting your door, you jam your key into the ignition and drive in silence to the hospital.