Somuch: Bahaha. I was thinking about what would happen if he got loose and Remy running down the street yelling, "Batman!" with people staring at her. Apparently she doesn't think it's as funny as I do. They have a lovely love/hate relationship.
Nameless: Yay for cheesy poems! That was great. Bahahaha. "Such a bad idea to climb the tree with no ladder. Then believing Kutner could catch you? Even sadder." That was the best part. -rofl- Yus, bad things are going to happen. -evillaugh-
Wesley: -gives you a bandaid for your heart- You'll be fine! Aw. No never ending rant? I like those. Haha. I have no ending even in store for this fic yet bc I plan on it lasting several months. It's going to be long...or at least that's what I'm thinking now. So I can't tell you if the ending will be happy or sad.
YDPP: Haha. Your self/weather chart reminds me of House's House/God chart. Glad you loved it!
Ina: Just...keep an eye on her. She tends to escape and get into trouble. Lock her up or something. Lol. And Cameron isn't like that...but throw this chapter into the picture and...-explosion!-
Ilessthree: Aw. Why was your Christmas blue??? And...aw. Nothing major is going to happen between Remy and Kutner so just enjoy him. He's fun. Lol.
JB: Well, given the choice between angst or sex...it's gonna have to be angst for the time being. And what's your version of angsty angst?
WrongObsession: Glad you like Rebecca. And Batman! I really wanted some kind of superhero name...and Batman totally fit. No, they don't really know. But likelihood is the guy who hurt Cam.
Less than 13: I have no clue how I came up with the robin idea. It just floated into my head. Like most of this stuff. And awww...like I said, just enjoy Kutner. Nothing major will happen between then and he's fun.
My goal was to make you cry with this chapter. How well did I do? Ha.
Cameron's POV:
Wondering why it has to be now the ER is slow enough that you can't seem to get lost in your work, you find yourself walking back from the lounge with your second cup of coffee in the last hour. You managed to sleep for thirty minutes once you got to the hospital then spent an hour and a half treating patients and doing paperwork. Now, you're waiting for the next car to crash on the highway or man to fall off his roof while removing Christmas lights. While you don't want to see anyone injured (Because who really wants to see anyone hurting? Except maybe House.), you need something to occupy your time. You need something to occupy your thoughts.
'Don't think about Remy. Don't think about Remy. Don't think about Remy.' doesn't seem to be helping you not think about Remy. She makes it hard to concentrate. You want to know what's going on inside her head but she's hard for you to read. She puzzles you in a way different and stronger than even House manages to. Would it have been that hard to put on a heavier jacket? Or did she want to argue with you? Don't think about Remy. Don't think about Remy.
"Damn it," Wilson mutters to himself as you walk by his office. He's standing in front of a mirror tying, untying, then retying his tie, not seeming to be able to get it just right.
"Morning," you comment, stopping in the doorway. You take a sip of your coffee then tilt your head to the side and watch him. "Need help?"
"Morning," he replies, glancing at you through the reflection on the mirror. "You don't have to." He shakes his head. "There's just something about this tie."
You walk inside and set your coffee mug down on his desk. "Here, turn around," you tell him, doing a circular motion with your hand. You hesitate being this close to someone, but it feels like a giant accomplishment. Your heart is pounding in your chest like he's suddenly going to attack you. You remind yourself this is Wilson and he's as capable of hurting someone as you are.
"Well, this is embarrassing," he comments, turning to face you. He unties the knot he made and lets both ends of the tie hang around his neck. "This is why people don't wear the ties they get for Christmas."
"At least it doesn't have some weird pattern," you comment with a smirk, taking the ends of the black tie. "Could you imagine if someone like House got you a tie?"
"He did three years ago," Wilson replies. "That one stays in the very back of my closet." He glances down to watch you tie it but his chin gets in the way and he looks up again. "I heard Thirteen got you a dog. The Hulk or something."
"Batman," you correct him with a grin and take a step back to admire how well you tied his tie. "Her landlord named him and it stuck. He's great. Did House get you anything this year?" Picking your mug up, you watch as Wilson gathers a few files together.
"He got me a shirt," Wilson answers, rubbing his forehead. He makes an exasperated groan and shakes his head.
"A shirt?" you question, raising your eyebrows. You walk toward the hall with him.
"Yeah," he replies. "It says 'I have a PhD.' and then under it in parenthesis, it says 'Pretty Huge Dick'. He says Cuddy bought it for him and I guess he didn't want it."
You choke on your coffee and nearly drop the mug. By Cuddy, you assume that really means Remy, Kutner, and Taub. "Did you hear what he bought her in return?"
"Well, he denies it, but she's claiming he bought her a shirt too." Wilson shrugs. "Apparently it says, 'Dear Santa, this year I want bigger boobs.' or something. You look like you know something."
"What?" you try to play innocent and wipe the guilty look from your face. You're never letting Remy, Kutner, and Taub go shopping together ever again.
"His team actually went out and bought gag gifts, didn't they?" Wilson asks, grinning. "I didn't think they'd do it."
You smirk. "You didn't think they'd really -"
"Cameron!" Chase jogs to catch up with you. "I've been looking for you."
You find yourself subconsciously inching closer to Wilson. "I've been busy," you answer.
"I have a patient," Wilson says, not seeming to notice your apprehension. "I'll catch up with you later though. We can meet for lunch or something."
"Alright." Your voice suddenly sounds choked. "I'm meeting Remy too."
"Who?" Wilson asks, walking backwards so he can face you as he heads toward his patient.
"Thirteen," you reply. "You can eat with us." Crossing your arms protectively across your chest, you watch as he nods then turns and walks away.
"So you call her Remy now?" Chase asks, shoving his hands in his pockets. He stands shoulder to shoulder with you, almost touching you.
"Well, that is her name," you answer, glancing down at the floor. "I have to get back to the ER. I'll see you later though, okay?"
"I don't like you staying with her," Chase comments, stepping in front of you. "You're even eating lunch with her now? You used to eat with me."
"You can join us if you want." The walls feel like they're closing in on your and it gets harder to breathe.
"I don't want to join you," Chase answers, frowning at you. "I want to eat with you and only you."
"Remy and I already planned to eat together though," you reply. "It's just lunch."
"Exactly," Chase says. "It's just lunch. So tell her you changed your plans."
"Okay." You don't want to fight with him. It's hard enough just to talk to him without fighting. Shifting uncomfortably from one foot to the other, you count your breaths and try to focus on them.
"I have something for you." Chase reaches in his pocket and pulls out a key then holds it flat on his palm.
"What is that?" you ask, your eyes going wide. "That's not -"
"It's my apartment key," he confirms your fears. "If you need to stay with someone, I want you to stay with me."
Swallowing hard, you just stare at the key. "I'm okay staying with Remy," you assure him. "I feel safe there."
"Sure, you feel safe there," Chase says. "Because she babies you. Look at you, Cameron. You barely even let people stand within a foot of you because she comes to your rescue every time you jump. What's she really going to do to protect you if that guy comes back though? Drug him up then seduce him while you escape?"
"Don't talk about her like that," you hiss, narrowing your eyes at him. "You don't know anything about her. And she doesn't baby me. If she did, she'd be here kicking your ass."
"Oh, sorry," Chase says. "I forgot she seems to be more interested in women then men. So, I guess you're screwed living with her. You do remember you have a boyfriend while you're with her though, right?" He holds out the key for you to take.
"Are you jealous?" you ask. He seems to want to be your knight in shining armor, but in reality, you think he just wants Remy out of the picture. Out of guilt, you take the key. Even if it is because Remy has been protecting you, you can't deny you have some sort of attraction toward her.
"How does moving in today after work sound?" he asks, shoving his hands in his pocket.
"I need time to pack my stuff," you answer, not taking your eyes off the floor tiles. You need time to figure out how to get out of what you just got yourself into. "What about my dog?"
"Since when do you have a dog?" Chase asks. "Leave him with Thirteen. Tomorrow after work is fine too."
"I don't want to leave him," you reply, rocking back and forth on your heels. Your palms feel sweaty and you shakily rub them against your shirt sleeves. "I love him."
"Don't be a baby, Cameron. It's a dog." He shakes his head. "I'll get you a goldfish or something if you want a pet. Tomorrow after work it is. I'll see you at lunch."
-----
You don't go to lunch. A few patients come into the ER and you try to concentrate on them but you can't stop thinking you may be spending tomorrow night without Remy. You still need her. Nervousness makes you feel sick to your stomach and you end up curled up on the couch in the lounge, trying with everything you have to hold back tears.
"I had to eat lunch with Wilson," Remy comments, walking into the lounge about a twenty minutes after you get there. "Wilson of all people. What the hell are Wilson and I supposed to talk about? We discussed the weather, very awkwardly." She takes a seat beside you and rests her arm on your side. "Why aren't you eating, Allison?" she asks in a serious tone.
"I'm not hungry." Refusing to look at her, you pull at the fabric on the couch cushion. She doesn't want to tell you her issues, so why tell her yours?
"A waffle isn't going to cut it for the day." She lifts her arm from your side and sits up straight as you push her away from you.
"How does it feel to worry?" you ask, sitting up and scooting away from her. "This morning, I asked you to put on a different jacket because it was cold out. Now, you're sitting here telling me to eat because you dislike my eating habits. Think of it as the same thing."
"It isn't the same thing," she argues, sounding seriously concerned. "Do you know how much damage you could do to yourself not eating? You're going to make yourself sick."
"I don't care," you whisper. Clenching your jaw, you wrap your arms around yourself. "I already feel sick."
"Because you're getting yourself worked up over something." She glances at the clock. "I have fifteen minutes before I need to go prep a guy for surgery. You have the ER you need to get back to. We can't do this kind of stuff at work. We're eating a big dinner when we get home if you don't go eat lunch. Are you going to be okay until we leave?"
"I have to get to the ER." You press the palms of your hands to your eyes for a moment then get to your feet, leaving her sitting on the couch as you walk out.
-----
Remy meets you in the locker room when her shift is over. "I got a new jacket," she comments with a smile, spinning around once to show off the hoodie she's wearing. "I stole it from Kutner because after the Frosty incident, he deserves to freeze."
You realize she's trying to apologize to you for earlier that morning but you don't have anything to say. After pulling your own sweatshirt on, you shove your things into your locker then shut it and lock it. Placing your hands in your front pocket, you tilt your head down slightly and walk toward the door.
"You're not really angry, are you?" she asks, following you. "If this is about this morning, I'm sorry. If it's about the eating thing, I'm sorry that cafeteria food tastes like paper."
Little realizations like that this will be the last time you go home with her start to sink in. Clasping your hands together in your pocket, you dig your nails into your palm to distract yourself with a new kind of pain. She's rambling on awkwardly and you assume she's attempting to fix things between the two of you.
"You're not really the silent treatment kind of person," she comments when you get to the car. "You're too nice for that."
"Do you think I'm a baby?" you ask quietly, opening the passenger's side door and getting in. You glance at her as she walks around the car then turn to look out the window once she gets in.
"No offense, but you're at least thirty," she responds with a smirk. "You're far from being a baby."
"Do you think I act like a baby?" you rephrase the question. Not expecting the car to start, you jump at the noise. Pinching the bridge of your nose in frustration, you lean your forehead against the window and watch things pass by as she drives from the parking lot.
"You don't act like a baby," she assures you. "But even after all you've been through, you still have this sort of innocence to you. It's cute. Who told you that you act like a baby?"
"No one," you lie then breathe on the window you make it foggy. "I was just wondering." You draw a stick figure in the clouded part of the window and label it 'Chase' then swipe your hand over it.
"Drawing voodoo dolls?" she asks with a smirk, glancing over at what you're doing for a second.
"Yes." You also smirk then quickly feel guilty about it. You blow on the window again then draw another stick figure and label it 'Remy'. You draw Batman beside her chewing on what's supposed to be the jacket she was wearing that morning.
"Hey," she whines, glancing over again. "I don't know what that is, but it's not very nice."
Managing a slight smile, you draw yourself beside her. "How about that?"
"That's a little better." She pulls up to her apartment and turns off the car. "Let's go see what chaos your dog caused."
Your smile wavers because you're already attached to him and now you have to leave him with Remy. "Okay." You lift your hand to wipe the fading picture from the window then change your mind and open the door. "Do you think he ate all of our stuff?"
"I think he ate all my stuff," she mutters, getting out of the car. She walks to your side then waits for you before heading inside.
"He just likes you," you tell her, following her to her apartment.
"No," she disagrees. "He just likes the taste of my shoes apparently." She unlocks the door and walks in to a surprisingly clean house. "What did you do?" she asks Batman straight off. He's sitting on the couch, wagging his tail.
"Don't be so accusing." You hesitate before going inside. If it was possible to stop time and just stand in the hall forever with her, you would. "Come here, Batman." You lean down and pat your legs then scoop him up once he runs to you.
"Of course he obeys you," she mumbles, ushering the two of you in further so she can shut the door. "I tell him to come and he bites me."
"He doesn't bite." You cuddle him and ruffle his hair. "You don't bite, do you? No." He licks your nose and nuzzles his face against yours. Your heart physically aches as you snuggle with him and you don't want to put him down. You think back to that morning when you were snuggled in bed with him and Remy and know you're going to be miserable at night now without the two of them. You realize you'll probably feel miserable a lot for awhile because Chase doesn't tune into you like she does, and you don't even want him to.
"House had a case today," Remy says, kicking her shoes off. "He was being an ass and wouldn't let me do anything except prep the guy for surgery, so I was doing a lot of thinking." She turns to face you and wraps her arms loosely around your neck, looking hesitant. "I want to talk to you."
"Yeah?" You hug Batman and step closer to her. It's not only at night you like snuggling with her. "What do you want to talk about?" you ask slowly.
"I, um…" She glances down at the ground for a second before looking at you again. "I was thinking maybe you could stay here for awhile. You know, a few weeks or, uh, months."
Your heart implodes and drops from your chest to your stomach. Tears fill your eyes and your chin starts trembling. "R-Remy, I-"
"I know it's really soon to ask something like that," she cuts you off. "You seem to like it here though. I really like you here. I really like you. I've never had a friend like you before." She looks proud of herself for having said all that out loud but it seems to fade after a moment of staring at you. "What's wrong?"
"I…" You ball your hand into a fist and hold it to your mouth as you try to think of what to say. Tears start overflowing and you can't look at her. "I'm leaving," you choke in a whisper. She stares at you dumbstruck and you slowly move her arms from around you. "I'm going tomorrow."
A brief flash of pain crosses her features and she looks like she wants to take her words back. "Where are you going?" She takes a slight step back and tries to look you in the eye.
Taking shaky breaths through your mouth, you put Batman down then reach in your pants pocket and pull out the key to Chase's apartment. "Chase wants me to move in with him."
She makes an "oh" sound like she forgot Chase even existed. "I should have kept my mouth shut." Emotion fades from her voice and expression.
"Remy, I'm so sorry." You squeeze your eyes shut and wipe at the tears on your face. You feel like you validated her desire to avoid connecting with people and remain cynical. "I am so sorry."
"It's fine." She seems to be building her walls back up.
Opening your eyes, you watch her shove her hands in her pockets and walk into the kitchen. "Remy…" She ignores you and you suddenly need to find something to occupy yourself with. Covering your face with your hands, you start sobbing and walk hastily to the bedroom. Your suitcase is in the corner and instead of packing, you kick it. Then you kick it a few more times before you turn away from it and hit the wall.
Everything is ruined. You want to go back to loving Chase so this all will be easier, but you don't feel anything for him anymore. Sure, he's handsome, but he doesn't make you feel good. He has a habit of making everything worse for you.
Some of your clothes are on the floor so you nudge them into a pile with your foot. You plan on taking Remy's hoodie with you whether she likes it or not. You need it. Getting to your knees, you shove things inside your suitcase. It doesn't matter if you forget anything. Grabbing Remy's hoodie, you bring it to your face and inhale her scent because you got used to it as a source of comfort.
Batman approaches you and you push him away gently. He'll have to adjust to living with just Remy, if she even decides to keep him. He tucks his tail between his legs and sulks from the room. She has to keep him, you decide. The two of you are his family and he can't just go back to the shelter. She doesn't seem to like him very much though.
Shrinking in the corner, you pull your knees to your chest and curl your arms up over your head. It hurts to breathe and all you can do is choke for air. Just when you thought things were getting better, it hurts to live again. Everything is being turned upside down once more and you don't want to move from your hiding spot against the wall.