Hello everybody, I am back with another update. This one again took more time to write out and I'm sorry for the wait. This chapter will be focused around (3x23) after the battle with Savitar leading to the finale. It's a little out there but I thought it could work. Hope you all enjoy this chapter.

Write-To-You: Yeah I think the main focus was to build the three of them in Season 1 but now it is more building on each one of them separately which is a bummer cause I would love to return to Season 1 vibes. Thank you for the review.

Feel free to write a review on your thoughts.

P.S. What did you guys think about Danielle's directed episode this week? I really liked it. I found some moments between Lia and Nora to be a little weird but overall it was a solid episode. So many good one on one moments: Iris/Nora, Nora/Barry, Barry/Thawne and my god Barry's video for Nora had me crying. Hope to see more of Godspeed in Season 6 since he has an interesting back story.

Chapter 13: My Penance, My Redemption

"Cisco, let me go." Caitlin asked gently. Not wanting to make the conversation anymore harder than it already was. This may very well be the last time she ever speaks or see her best friends and that kills a part of her. But better kill a part of her than having a part of her kill them. Luckily for Caitlin, Frost seems to have calmed down a bit but who knows when her bad streak will come back. Best for her to leave while she still has her reason before anyone else gets hurt. Of course, that was easier said than done especially when her logical brain questioned her every move. Where are you going to go? Back to mom's? Are you going to get another job? Are you moving? Why don't you stay? But for once, she is going to let her heart decide and she knows that she can't misuse her friend's loyalty to her to correct her mistakes. No, she needs to do this all on her own.

Barry watched as Caitlin turned away and everything within screamed how wrong this was. This will not be how they part if he had anything to do with it and before anyone could notice. He flashed grabbed Caitlin and raced her to somewhere private. Both had some air to clear between them and there is no better time to do so then now. His speed force has been sending warning signals to him ever since they stopped Savitar. Barry was no fool and he knows that something is going to happen soon that will change the course of his life. He wants to settle his arrangements while he still can.

Caitlin stumbled a little when Barry stopped running and she peered at Barry with confusion. This was the last thing that she expected Barry to do and she wasn't sure what was going on. Barry flashed off quickly before she could clarify her confusion, so Caitlin could only look around her surroundings as she waited, hoping that Barry was coming back. Barry seems to have brought her to the beach, water was moving peacefully to her left as the air smelt salty. Caitlin sat down on the sand as she let the sounds of the waves calm her. The silence interrupted by Barry flashing in as his halt showered sand on her.

"Oh shoot, sorry Caitlin."

Caitlin laughed; her laugh sounded foreign to her after not laughing for some time. "No worries, probably deserved it." Caitlin commented as she dusted the sand off. "Barry, why did you bring me here? If you're trying to stop me then -"

"-I'm not trying to convince you to stay. I just thought that we could use a little peace after today's events, and we have an elephant in the room that we need to acknowledge. I couldn't let you leave before we sort out everything that happened between us." Barry said as he sat next to Caitlin and handed her a cup of Jitters. "Plus, you didn't think I would let you leave without one last coffee from Jitters."

Caitlin took the cup from Barry. "I hope you didn't get any sand in here."

Barry's eyes widened with panic as he quickly looked down at their cups. "Oh shoot."

Caitlin took a sip from the cup. "I think it's fine, Barry."

"You sure? I could go get another one if you want. I'm sorry." Barry said as he reached for Caitlin's to go cup.

"It's okay." Caitlin reassured.

A comfortable silence shrouded them as they watched the waves crashing down, slowly creeping closer towards their feet. It was hard to imagine that less than 24 hours has passed since they stood on opposite ends. But at the end of the day, underneath it all, they were Barry and Caitlin. Despite their alter egos they were best friends.

"I'm sorry." Barry spoke up first, breaking the silence.

Caitlin who was struggling to approach the conversation glanced at Barry with confusion. "Why are you apologizing? You didn't do anything wrong. I was the one who messed up."

"You give me too much credit, Caitlin. Then again you always tend to look at the best of me. I was far from perfect this year and I have made my fair share of mistakes. Neglecting being your best friend stands as one of my greater blunders this year." Barry voiced as he took a sip of his coffee.

"Last I checked you didn't place an icicle spear into my leg, or willingly plot to murder someone, or turn your back on your family." Caitlin said, her voice filled with remorse.

"Well I wouldn't completely agree with the last point. I did turn my back on my family, in fact I have been doing it all year. You know it is a weird thing to be in love. For one it is one of the greatest feeling that I have experienced yet on the other hand it feels as great of a responsibility as being the Flash and mixing the two of the them had been a challenge. Iris and I have known each other since I can remember but this dating thing is new to me and the ticking grenade on her life brought out a side of me that I didn't know that I had and would rather not see again."

"Your actions were understandable Barry."

Barry shook his head in disagreement. "No, they weren't. I couldn't think of anything else but to save Iris. It became almost obsessive at one point where it didn't matter what I sacrificed; I was willing to do it if it meant Iris' survival. Go back in time again to get Snart for help, check. Breaking in ARGUS, like the people I have been trying to stop, for tech, check. Lying to my girlfriend about why I proposed to her, check. Forcing my best friend into a situation which I knew she was uncomfortable with, check." Barry looked up at Caitlin at the last one.

"That was the only situation at the time, and I wasn't going to let Iris die." Caitlin attempted at reasoning.

"It's not like I gave you much of a choice. What were you going to do while I stared at you all puppy dog like?"

"Your puppy dog eyes are pretty hard to ignore." Caitlin responded and both smiled at that.

"I'm sorry for forcing you into a situation when I knew that you feared becoming Killer Frost because it benefited me. I'm sorry for turning my back on you when you lost control after Kadabra and not attempting to help you when you needed my help. I'm so sorry Caitlin." Barry said apologetically.

"You tried talking to me, I just didn't care to listen."

"I should have tried harder."

"Honestly, I don't think it would have worked. When these powers first arose, I felt so out of control. Every part of me was on high alert and I was scared. I don't know if this is a good explanation but becoming full blown Killer Frost and siding with Savitar made me feel like I had control over my life. That I didn't have to sit like a duck and let all these bad things happen to me and instead fight it on my own. It made me feel powerful and I enjoyed it. Maybe it was because of Savitar's promising words of salvation, maybe it was my internal greed, but I did whatever was required to keep this control. Being Caitlin is exhausting and frankly a part of me was tired of being her. The person who must do right, who must do no harm. Good daughter, good friend, good girlfriend. I didn't want to be the woman who had to be "fixed" according to Julian and Killer Frost took all those internal desires and forced any reason out. It's no excuse for doing what I did but it was how I felt at the time."

Barry crossed his legs and placed his coffee cup down. "In a weird way, maybe it is what we needed to go through to reach this point of thinking. Maybe we needed to make these mistakes to become better people in the long run. To understand that after all, we are human, and we will make misjudgements."

Caitlin turned to face Barry. "I'm sorry for placing the blame on you even though I know you wouldn't have wanted these end results with Dante and me. I'm sorry for steering any responsibility I had over my actions as your fault. I'm sorry for plotting to kill Iris and above all else. I'm so sorry for hurting you, Barry."

"Apology accepted Caitlin. I'm sorry as well." Barry said with a wide smile.

Caitlin felt a weight lifted off her shoulders and responded with a beaming smile. "Apology accepted Barry."

"Where are you going to go?" Barry asked, now that the elephant had been cleared.

Caitlin thought about it and responded honestly. "I don't know."

Barry nodded, respecting Caitlin's response knowing that what Caitlin needed was to go and have some time to think on her own. "Just know that no matter what, you will always have a spot and home in Star Labs. No questions asked."

"Thank you."

"Anytime." The comfortable silence returned before Barry spoke up again. "Caitlin, can you promise me one thing?"

"What is it?"

Barry fiddled with the top of his coffee cup. "Theoretically, if something were to happen to me, can you check in with Central City and make sure that everything is okay?"

Caitlin straightened with alarm. "What? What do you mean by that Barry? Is something going to happen to you?"

"Theoretical. Categorize it as me being a worry wart but just promise me that you will have Central City's back." Barry said, doing his best to act nonchalant.

Caitlin didn't buy Barry's excuse for one second. Something else was going on more than Barry was letting on, but this is her best friend and she couldn't deny his request. "Okay Barry. I promise."

Barry sighed with relief.

"Nothing is going to happen to you."

Barry stood up as his phone pinged in his pocket. "Just a precaution. I need to get going and help with the rest of HR's funeral."

Caitlin nodded and stood up as well while brushing off any sand that stuck on her clothes. Barry folded his arms around Caitlin and pulled her close for a hug. "Be careful Cait."

Caitlin's throat tightened with emotions before she placed her arms around Barry's waist. "Stay safe Barry."

"I'll try but you know me. I can't help running into danger." Barry muttered.

Caitlin shook her head with amusement. "Good thing you heal fast."

Both released each other from their embrace and Barry quickly flashed both closer to the city before saying his goodbye. "Bye Caitlin."

"Bye Barry." Caitlin said as she watched Barry race off.

Caitlin arrived at the bus station and bought a ticket to Coast City. It wasn't anywhere far but at least it would give her some distance from the city to think about what she wanted to do. She knew she didn't want to go to her mother even though they had left on somewhat good terms. She didn't feel comfortable with her mom and the thought of going back made her insides curl. She didn't have a plan on what she will do once she reached Coast City, but she will take it one step at a time. Her thoughts were distracted by her phone buzzing in her pocket and she hesitated as she saw Cisco's name popping up requesting a call. Caitlin paused for a moment, sighed, and answered Cisco's call.

"Hello?" Caitlin asked quietly.

"Seriously, how come Barry gets a conversation but I don't get one. I'm your best friend too." Cisco complained, sounding close to a whiny child.

Caitlin let out a small chuckle. "Well he didn't really give me a choice when he whisked me away."

"Excuses. Fine, I guess you get away with it this time, but I want to be included next time...so…where are you right now?" Cisco asked hoping to gain some information on Caitlin's whereabouts. Barry wasn't helpful with that when they spoke.

"Nice try Cisco but like I told you back at the graveyard, I need to do this on my own."

"Can't you do this on your own but still keep me in the loop?" Cisco grumbled.

"As if you would leave me alone if I told you where I was heading." Caitlin stated bluntly knowing Cisco's habits.

Cisco attempted a counter argument. "Pffshh..nooo..I would…pffssh…. Okay fine, yes I wouldn't but that's because you're my best friend and I don't like not having you around."

"Cisco, I need this. I need to do this for myself. Okay?"

Cisco heard the seriousness in his friend's voice and refrained his complains and wishes. "Okay."

"Thank you."

"Thank you for not killing me." Cisco said with a grateful tone.

Caitlin swallowed at the memory of Savitar preparing to kill Cisco in front of her. The one action that pulled her reason back to her. "Thank you for believing in me."

"No big."

Caitlin smiled at that. Cisco always had a way of making the worse situations seem okay. A gift that Caitlin will always be grateful for. His unrelenting belief in his friends was something that she admired.

"I know Barry probably said something similar but know that you are always welcome here and I have an extra guest room if you wanted an impromptu sleepover if you ever miss yours truly." Caitlin rolled her eyes at that. "Take all the time you need my Disney Frozen Queen to do what you need, and I will be here when you're back."

Caitlin didn't know when or if she will be coming back to Central City and held back telling that to Cisco, but she was glad for the support. "Think you can hold the fort down till I get back?"

"Of course. This isn't my first-time taking care of Star Labs. Remember when you and Ronnie took that weekend off for a small getaway and Dr. Wells/Thawne went to New York for that conference at the same time. Star Labs still remained strong."

"Hmm, that's weird because I distinctly remember receiving an emergency call from the fire department notifying me what happened. Mr. Let me try to do some personal experimenting and causing a fire during the process."

Caitlin was only greeted with silence on the other end before a meek voice responded. "I didn't know you knew about that. Damn fire department."

"That's what you get for creating a safety hazard." Caitlin scolded as she tried to hold back her laughter.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. It won't happen again. I won't be alone this time." Cisco said in attempt to change the conversation.

"Thank goodness for that."

"Haha, you're so funny. Well I should probably let you go now. Don't do anything stupid. Be safe." Cisco said with seriousness.

"That applies more for you doesn't it?" Cisco's only response was a grumble. "Oh and don't you dare Vibe me or track my phone or anything like that while I'm gone. Do you understand Francisco Ramon?" Caitlin said in a warning tone.

"Dang it, okay." Cisco conceded. "...I'll miss you."

Caitlin smiled. "I'll miss you too."

"Bye Caitlin."

"Bye Cisco."

Caitlin sat on a bench inside the station waiting for her boarding time when she noticed the screen that had the bus schedule was flickering on and off. At the same time, the lights in the station begin to flicker as well and Caitlin glanced around in confusion. A loud sound from outside caught Caitlin's attention as she looked outside to see bolts of sporadic lightning hitting the ground. After a while, the lightning stopped but thunder rumbles echoed from a distance. Caitlin quickly stepped outside to see what was going on. The streets were empty as most people had ducked inside for cover.

"Excuse me, do you happen to know what is going on?" Caitlin asked as she approached a bus driver.

"Sorry miss, I don't know much. I was just notified by the police to make sure to get anybody under shelter due to a random lightning storm that came out of nowhere. It seems the clouds are more centered in one area so the buses should be up and running soon. For your own safety, please head back inside till the buses are ready to head off to their destinations."

"Of course, one more question. Do you happen to know where the clouds are centered around?"

The bus driver looked at Caitlin with confusion, unsure why she would have such interest in the storm.

"I have some family living here in the city, so I want to make sure that they weren't affected too greatly by the storm." Caitlin clarified.

He nodded. "It seems to be around Interstate 5 and the main river that runs through the city. The only big destination around there is Star Labs so your family should be okay."

Caitlin swallowed. "Thank you." Caitlin stepped into the station and sat down on a nearby bench.

There was no question that something was going on with the team but what exactly could have triggered the lightning storm. Caitlin's mind went back to the conversation that she had earlier with Barry. "Theoretically, if something were to happen to me." What's going on? Her mind racing to form some sort of conclusion before realizing that Jay Garrick was at the final confrontation with Savitar and not in the speed force. Lightning. Near Star Labs. Barry's words. The speed force must be unstable because Savitar's prison remains empty and in order to stabilize it-. Caitlin's eyes widened. Barry. No. She stood up and neared the window. Barry, that's suicide. You wouldn't do that, would you? "I can't help running into danger." Caitlin groaned. Of course, he would. He's Barry Allen, the Flash.

"Miss?" A voice broke Caitlin's thought process as she glanced upwards to see a toll booth worker approaching her.

"Yes?"

"Buses are now boarding."

"Oh, thank you." Caitlin said as she walked towards the buses. However, before she could step onto the bus, Barry's voice spoke in her mind. "Promise me that you will have Central City's back."

"Miss? Are you boarding?"

Caitlin thought for a moment before apologizing to the driver. "I'm sorry but I have changed my mind about going. Sorry to have kept you waiting. Have a good evening."

The bus driver nodded and gave her a parting wish before closing the door. Caitlin headed back towards the city unsure of where she would be going from here, but she knew one thing. She would be keeping her promise to Barry.

That's a wrap on this chapter.

-V