I have very little to say up here today.
1. The rest of this fic will go unbeta-ed. One of my betas jumped ship due to length and I didn't want to inconvenience the other one. I made them feel under-appreciated, and I am very sorry. I apologize for any mistakes to come because no one will be editing this fic. They did an amazing job beta-ing my things and I really am very thankful for them.
2. I apologize for the length of this fic. I'm used to my fav LOST fics being 200,000+ words. One of my very favorites is 87 chapters. I will continue this fic until I feel like ending it, but feel free to jump ship if you feel it's getting too long. I didn't realize writing for a new genre came with different rules. I should have looked into what I was getting myself into before I started writing House.
3. I'm sorry for the amount of drama in my fics. I like drama/angst. I'm not very good at writing fluff...and I really just don't enjoy it. So feel free to jump ship if you don't like the amount of drama or if my characters get too ooc. [Just a warning...I tend to struggle a lot with ooc-ness.]
4: I apologize to all of you for making you feel under-appreciated and obligated to review. I was trying to be nice by making conversation and in no way wanted to make any of you feel like you must review. My motive was to let you know that I enjoyed your comments, but I guess that didn't come across the way I wanted it to. I enjoyed getting to know you and chatting with you. Thank you so so so much for taking time to read and review my writing. I won't be continuing conversations up here because I don't want to make you feel like you must read/review.
Cameron's POV:
Cringing, you wipe at the thick trail of dog saliva on your cheek and roll over to bury your face in a pillow. "Go back to bed," you mumble as the ball of fur clambers over you and shoves its nose between the pillow and your face. The warm breaths against your face tickle and you finally crack a smile, rolling over slightly and gathering Batman in your arms. "Can I help you?" you question, slowly opening your eyes.
Batman stares at you for a moment as you speak then squirms away from your grasp and begins running in circles on the bed. His legs get tangled in the blankets and he falls over then quickly scrambles to get back up.
"Come here, Silly." You pull him over to you and nuzzle your face against his, placing a kiss on his muzzle. "Where's Remy at?" You stretch out on your stomach then prop yourself up on your arms, glancing around the bedroom. All of yesterday and last night is a blur. You fell asleep in the car and woke up on the couch then ate dinner and went to bed. Neither of you spoke much because you had been exhausted and rather out of it. Both of you had been relatively calm. There was obvious tension, but you spent the moments you were awake getting used to each other outside of the hospital again. Needless to say, you were a bit more awake now.
The clock says it's nearly noon and you consider just staying there for another hour, or maybe all day. Remy's bed is warm and cozy and everything smells like her. Finally feeling like you're able to breathe easy, you'd have no desire to be anywhere else if Remy was in bed too. "Let's go find her," you tell Batman.
Batman trots to the bottom of the bed and stares at the floor. He lowers his front and keeps his back end in the air then stands and does the same thing at a different spot. Whimpering, he glances back at you.
"What? Remy put you on the bed so you couldn't get down and bug her?" you chuckle, getting up. You tug down the t-shirt you're wearing and absentmindedly scratch your arm then lift him up and place him on the floor.
Wagging his stubby, little tail, Batman runs in a circle then bounds toward the living room.
You run your fingers through your hair to push it out of your face and follow him. Seeing Remy asleep on the couch makes you quirk your eyebrows in amusement. She's lying on her stomach, clinging tightly to an X-box controller. You're not sure what she was playing, but her character is repeatedly running into a wall. "Shhh," you tell Batman as he jumps up on the couch by her feet.
You approach her and carefully remove the control from her hand then toss it on the coffee table. She looks tired and you bite down on your lip as you watch her in guilt. She's probably been getting as much sleep as you have, but she seems better at hiding the exhaustion. Now that you're getting a good look at her, you notice the circles under her eyes and that you're not the only one who's lost a few pounds. The way she's using your hoodie (which is technically hers) and her arm for a pillow doesn't even look at all comfortable. "Rem," you say softly, rubbing her arm. "Sit up for a second."
"Why?" she mumbles, rubbing at her face. Not waiting for an answer, she stretches and yawns then slowly sits up and slouches sideways against the back of the couch. With a half-asleep groan, she buries her face against the couch cushion and curls an arm up over her head.
You sit down and place the hoodie on your lap then reach over and side your arm between her and the couch. "Lay back down," you instruct, easing her back down.
She freezes up and opens her eyes, moving to slowly sit back up. "I'm awake," she murmurs, stifling another yawn.
"No, you're not," you answer, watching her. "Go back to sleep for awhile. It's fine."
She sits there stubbornly, crossing her arms and leaning against the couch cushion. "I'm up," she assures you in a groggy voice.
"Don't be like that," you answer, a frown tugging at the corner of your lips. "Go back to sleep."
She hesitates then slowly lowers herself back down and curls up on her side so she's facing you, shifting until she finds a comfortable spot on your lap to rest her head before drifting off again.
Tilting your head back against the couch cushion and staring at the ceiling through half-closed eyes, you drape an arm over her and delicately rub small circles between her shoulder blades. Being with her makes you feel so much safer than being with Chase does, even while she's sleeping and seems rather fragile. You've never been attracted to another woman before, but you're finding yourself having deeper feelings for her than you did even for House or Chase. It scares you to think you're falling for her. Even worse is that you're afraid to tell her because she probably doesn't feel the same. You inhale deeply through your nose then puff out your cheeks as you exhale through your mouth, deciding you don't want to think about it right now.
The 'oof' sound the videogame is making every time the character hits the wall is getting tedious to listen to. You glance at the TV then lean forward and grab the controller from the table. It takes a moment for you to learn which button does what, but soon you're passing through obstacles and fighting off bad guys with increasing skill.
-----
"Ha!" you announce thirty minutes later after you beat yet another level. Batman perks up at your sudden exclamation and wags his tail furiously, lifting his head from where it was resting on Remy's leg. "See that, Batman?" you ask with a grin, nodding toward the TV.
"What are you doing?" Remy mumbles, her voice muffled by her arm. Stretching out her legs, she rolls onto her back and drapes her arm over her eyes.
"Playing your game." You toss the controller beside you on the couch and look down at her. "Comfortable?" you ask with an amused smile, resting a hand on her stomach.
She presses her lips together and breathes a small chuckle then nods once. "Very." Lifting her arm away from her face, she turns her head to glance at the TV then lowers her hand and rests it overtop of yours. "What time is it?" she asks, absently playing with your fingers.
You lean forward a bit and squint your eyes to look at the numbers on the DVD player. "About twelve-thirty," you answer then lean back again and brush her hair away from her face. "I'm getting hungry." It feels good to be craving food instead of the thought of eating making you feel sick.
"Wilson thought we should go to his house for lunch around one-thirty," she says, stifling a yawn. "He called earlier to see how you were and offered to cook. I thought you might like that."
Whatever little friendship you've developed with Wilson warms your heart. He's a great guy and you wonder why you never bothered to hang out with him before. "We should probably get ready," you muse, stroking Remy's hair a few times.
"You can borrow some of my clothes," Remy says, making no move to get up. Instead, she sighs and relaxes further against you. "If we don't get your clothes back from Chase, we can go back to your apartment."
"Well, I have a sweater on your floor," you state, tilting your head to the side. "Why is my sweater on your floor?"
"Batman was chewing on it," she answers and frowns. "I tried to get it back, but he wouldn't let me. He doesn't like me."
"Maybe you should be nicer to him," you tease, twisting a lock of her hair around your finger. "You do call him 'Dog', after all."
"Bringing him home wasn't nice enough?" she huffs, lacing your fingers. "He's manipulating you. He acts sweet when you're around, then he's a jerk when you leave."
"He's a dog, Rem," you chuckle, shaking your head. You decide you enjoy calling her that.
"Which is why I call him that, Allie." She rolls her eyes, pursing her lips together to suppress a smile.
Your stomach flutters and your cheeks feel rather warm. "Come on, Lazy, get up. We need to get dressed." You try to push her into a sitting position but she becomes dead weight and refuses to move.
"What if I don't want to get up?" she asks with a brightened countenance, cuddling against you.
"Well, you don't have to get up," you inform her, smirking and giving her a challenging look. "I already learned how to make you move though." You think back to Christmas when you woke her up.
"Yeah?" she asks, arching a brow. "Go ahead and make me move."
"If you're sure," you answer in a sing-song voice. You grin and tickle her side.
"Allison!" She gasps and grabs your hand, going rigid. "That's cheating," she huffs, narrowing her eyes.
"No," you argue playfully. "This would be cheating. You only have one working hand." You start tickling her with your other hand, chuckling as she laughs and squirms to sit up. Batman leaps off the couch and begins howling at the two of you.
"Stop!" she pleads, trying to push you away. She stops and squeezes her eyes shut while trying to prevent herself from laughing. Her strength lasts about two seconds before she cracks up again and finally manages to sit up. "Allison! I'm up! Allison Cameron, stop!" she begs, gasping with laughter between each word.
You stop tickling and grin at her as she struggles to catch her breath. "You asked for it," you remind her, leaning your head back against the couch.
"That was before I realized how mean you were!" she exclaims with a wide grin, rubbing at her sides. She collapses back down across your lap and covers her sides. "We can get up in a minute."
-----
"Did you have to bring the dog?" Remy asks as the two of you walk up to Wilson's door. "He would have been fine at home."
"He would have been lonely," you reply, clutching Batman protectively to your chest. He squirms excitedly in your arms, wildly sniffing at the air. "He won't get hungry now."
"That's what his dog food is for." She knocks on the door then takes a step back and crosses her arms loosely across her chest. "You'll make him sick if you feed him people food."
"I'm just going to give him some." You grin at Batman then glance up at Wilson opens the door. He looks humorous wearing an apron and an oven mitt and you bite down on your lip to keep from giggling. Remy snorts and you nudge her ankle with your foot. "Thanks for inviting us over," you tell him.
"It's better than eating lunch with House." He smiles at the two of you and steps aside so you can come in. "I'm making lasagna."
"It smells great," you comment, sniffing the air as you walk inside. The smell of food causes your stomach to growl. You lean down and place Batman on the floor then shut the door behind you.
"Batman, right?" Wilson asks, kneeling to pet the dog.
"Yeah." Remy nods and glances around a bit awkwardly. She slides her injured hand in the pocket of her hoodie and hooks the thumb on her good hand through her belt loop. A sigh escapes her lips and she glances at the ground, rocking back on her heels.
You link arms with her and follow Wilson into the kitchen once he stops petting Batman. "I hope you didn't have to reschedule any of your patients to make lunch for us," you comment.
"Just one," Wilson replies. "He was fine with it though. How is your vacation day?"
"I hope the ER isn't missing me too much," you answer, feeling a bit guilty about taking a day off. You planned on taking a few days off to visit your parents though and by the looks of things, that isn't going to happen. You make a mental note to call them and tell them you won't be able to make it. A long drive wouldn't exactly be the most comfortable with some guy after you. "I haven't heard from House all day though."
"Not hearing from House is always a plus," Remy adds, glancing down at Batman as he runs in circles around her feet. She smirks and nudges him teasingly with her toes, dragging her foot back quickly when he tries to bite her shoe.
"I'm shocked he hasn't shown up here." Wilson walks over to the oven and opens it. He stares inside for a moment before adjusting his oven mitt and pulling out the lasagna.
"You told him we were coming?" Remy asks, glancing toward the door. "If you told him we were going to be here, it's probably only a matter of time."
"He asked what we were eating for lunch and I told him I was coming home for lunch," Wilson replies. "I didn't tell him I was inviting you two."
"He'll figure it out eventually," you remind them, eyeing the food. It looks delicious and your mouth begins to water. "He figures everything out."
"Did you just…?" Remy's voice trails off and she points slightly toward the window, tilting her head to the side. She draws her brows together and unlinks arms with you to scratch her cheek.
You and Wilson both look toward the open window. "I don't see anything," you comment, glancing over at her and raising your eyebrows.
"Huh," she murmurs, resting her arm on your shoulder. "I think I'm still tired." She shakes her head and turns to face Wilson as he gets three plates down from the cupboard.
There's a crash outside and the three of you jump and rush toward the window. You and Remy get there first and lift it open then peer down at Kutner lying on a bush and Taub kneeling next to him with a guilty look on his face.
"What are you doing?" Remy hisses at them, crossing her arms tightly across her chest.
"House sent us to-," Kutner starts but Taub cuts him off.
"You don't have to give it away," Taub whispers, staring at him. "You could have made something up."
"What was I supposed to say?" Kutner asks. "That I enjoy crushing my co-workers garden gnomes?"
"You crushed my garden gnomes?!" Wilson exclaimes, inching himself in front of you so he can look out the window also.
"And half your bush," Kutner replies. He gets to his feet and brushes off his back then glances at Taub as he gets to his feet too. "House thought you'd be eating lunch with Cameron. You are eating lunch with Cameron. Thirteen too! Hey." He nods his head. "I didn't really fall into the bush. Taub shoved me."
"You fell," Taub states. "She thinks you're awkward. Get over it."
Somehow, you're not shocked by them being there. You wouldn't even be surprised if Remy planned this so she wouldn't have to eat with Wilson. The two of them didn't quite seem to know how to handle each other. You take a step back as Remy grabs Kutner's hand and helps him in through the window then helps Taub in too.
"There's enough for all of us," Wilson says after a moment. He pauses. "Unless House comes." He shuts the window and gets a few more plates down.
"So have you kissed yet?" Kutner blurts, glancing at you and Remy. Your cheeks start burning and you wrap your arms around yourself, narrowing your eyes at him.
"Kutner," Taub scolds him with a frown.
"What?" Kutner asks, trying to play innocent. "House said they were dating. I was just asking."
"Do you always believe everything House says?" Remy asks, looking slightly amused. "I kicked ass on your Fairytale Wars game. I thought you said it was hard."
Huh. So that's what you were playing. You knew it looked rather weird to be beating up gingerbread men and giant beavers. Playing as Snow White should have given it away. "You didn't have to cross this lava river thing," you point out to her. "That took me almost ten minutes."
Leaving them to discuss House and video games, you walk over to Wilson and help him gather silverware to put on the table. "Sorry about Kutner and Taub," you apologize, giving him a sad sort of smile. "House was bound to show up somehow though."
"The more, the merrier," Wilson answers with a shrug. He takes the lasagna to the table as you take over the plates and forks. "Let's eat."
-----
"That wasn't too bad, was it?" you question, standing out of Remy's apartment building. "I got to eat with Wilson and you got to eat with Kutner and Taub."
"I eat with Kutner and Taub every day," she points out, rubbing her hand up and down her arm. "I got to eat with you."
Despite the freezing weather, you suddenly feel warm. You glance over her and smile, watching snow flurries land in her hair and on her jacket. Her words sounded hesitant though and you feel guilty that you hurt her so much she's nervous to tell you something as simple as she likes having lunch with you. "Are you cold?" you ask, watching the fog form in front of your face as you speak.
"It is fifteen degrees." She wraps her arms around herself and faces Batman as he romps around in the snow. He's stalling when it comes to going to the bathroom so you can take them in, but there's really nothing either of you can do about it. She sniffles and rocks from her heels to her toes, gripping the sides of her jacket.
Moving so you're in front of her, you close the space between you and wrap your arms around her shoulders. "Better?" you question through chattering teeth, keeping an eye on Batman.
"Yeah," she breathes with a smile, huddling closer to you. "You're sure you're staying here?" she asks after a moment, glancing at you.
You nod and rest your head against hers, watching the dog out of the corner of your eye. After a moment of hesitation, you glance up at her. "I think I'm going to break it off with Chase."
She looks at you with an incredulous stare. "You don't have to do that just to stay here," she reassures you, shaking her head.
"It turns out I don't like him as much as I thought I did." You swallow and glance toward the ground, kicking at the snow. You do like Chase. That's an understatement. You love Chase. He's been one of your best friends for a few years. What you're doing is going to more than likely ruin that, but being with him when you don't love him like that isn't fair to either of you.
"I'm sorry." She uncrosses her arms and wraps them around you, drawing you even closer. She sighs in relief as Batman finally decides to stop screwing around and do his business.
"It's okay," you assure her, resting your head against her shoulder. "We'll both move on." I like you more than I ever liked him anyway. You pull away when Batman runs toward you and lift him up. "Ready to go in?" you coo, snuggling him to warm him up.
"I feel like I bought you a kid," Remy comments, opening the door for you then following you in. She places a hand on your lower back as the two of you walk toward her apartment door. "That reminds me, I think we should talk."
"About Batman?" you ask, your heart dropping slightly. "You don't really want him, do you?"
"What?" she asks, moving her hand from your back and pulling out her keys. "No, it's not that," she replies quickly, shaking her head. "It's not about Batman. I bought him for you. He's part of the family now."
"Good." You breathe a sigh of relief. For a moment, you were nervous she was going to ask you to give him up because he annoys her. You grin and give him a butterfly kiss, walking inside after she opens the door. "What do we need to talk about?"
She shuts the door then pulls her jacket up over her head and tosses it on the back of a chair. "Allison, you never took an ECP," she reminds you slowly. "I think you should take a blood test."
"I told you I didn't want an ECP." You grind your teeth, unable to believe you never even thought about being pregnant. The chances were slim. The chances of being pregnant with Chase's kid were even more likely than being pregnant with the guy who raped you. "I don't want to talk about this." You place Batman on the floor and walk over to the couch.
"We don't want to talk about things and then we explode on each other, Allison!" Remy replies, her voice sincere and going up an octave before softening again. "I just think you should get a blood test. That's it. If it comes up negative, we'll never have to talk about it again."
You collapse down onto the couch and rest sideways against the back cushions. Sighing, you tuck your hair behind your ear and glance over at her. "The answer is going to be the same either way," you state matter-of-factly, fear welling up inside of you. "Taking a test won't change it."
"No," she agrees, walking over to the couch. "But at least you'll know the answer and it won't come as a shock if it's positive." She sits so she's facing you and curls her legs up under her. "Just take the test."
"What happens if it's positive?" you ask. Your lips make a straight line and you look away from her, afraid of the answer. There was no way you could push a kid off on her. It was bad enough she had to deal with you acting the way you were.
"I don't know," she admits quietly, staring at you for a moment before looking down at her lap. "If it's positive, you'll have nine months to get yourself back together."
Leaning forward, you place your elbows on your legs and rest your chin against your closed fists. "Who's going to help me raise a kid?" you ask, expecting her to remind you that you should have thought about that when you refused the ECP. If you were pregnant, abortion is out of the question. Why kill something as innocent as a baby? It never asked for all of this to happen. Chances are, you're not pregnant though.
"I can't help you with that, Allison," she says in a somber voice. "You really want someone who's going to be dead in the next ten to twenty years helping you with some kid?"
"You're on meds," you murmur with a pain expression on your face. "I saw it in your medicine cabinet. Have you had any tremors?"
"We're not making this about me," she answers. It's impossible to read the emotion in her voice. "Just take the test."
"It's still too early," you reply. Even if the uncertainty is painful and you don't want to think about the big issues, you want to be honest with each other. "I'll take it in a few days." You shift so one of your feet is on the floor and tap it against the carpet several times. It suddenly feels too late to tell her how much you like her.