Oh, my goodness. An update? Is it possible? Yes. Before I knew it, this year had slipped away from me and it has almost been a year since I updated this story. Thank you for those that continue to read my stories despite my very irregular updates. Now on with the chapter. This chapter is centered around episode (6x03) after Barry notifies the team that he needs to die in Crisis. As always CW likes to kind of skip the details, I wish they would indulge in a bit more but more storytelling inspiration for me.. As usual, I hope this is a pleasant read for you all.

stars90: Thank you!

paige: Thank you for the review. I personally liked Bloodwork, but Eva feels a bit off. I don't really know her motive.

Teasilie-Teasing: Hi. Thank you for the review, it means a lot. Hope you enjoy this chapter.

All characters, story, plot lines belong to the writers, producers of The Flash and The CW. I do not own the rights to any of them, just the idea of this story is my own.

Feel free to write a review on your thoughts.

P.S. This year has been a strange one (understatement). Hopefully everyone is safe out there. Any hopes for Season 7? How do you think they will handle Ralph's character? Hopefully they will have a satisfying /better arc for Godspeed.

Chapter 19: Go on Without Me

"So what? That's it?"

"Cisco—" Barry started.

"—No, we're just supposed to take this stranger's words for it. That what he is saying is the absolute and only truth? We don't even know this guy. Who is this guy? A seer? A deity? A god? The freaking Oracle?" Cisco said incredulously.

"Cisco—"

"Why are you trusting him, Barry?"

"I don't. I didn't. I trust what I saw from those billion of outcomes. You think it's fun to watch you guys die and be helpless in preventing it? In varying ways, I might add! Out of the billion outcomes: I saw only one where it was the lesser evil of the two. If my loved ones can live in place of my death, then I am happy to oblige."

"You thought you saw Iris die all those years ago with Savitar. How can you be so sure that what you saw in the future will play out exactly like it seems? Even if that was the case, we altered the future and now Iris is standing here with us." Cisco argued as he gestured to Iris.

"H.R. still died. We didn't come out unscathed just because Iris came out of it alive. What do you propose then? I just resist whatever this is, tuck it under the rug and forget about it? I can't do that, Cisco. The threat is real. Regardless if it comes into fruition or not. I have to act like it will be and be prepared for it." Barry countered.

"So, what do you propose then? I just stand back and watch as my friend, my best friend just throws his life away for a premonition? Just turn a blind eye and pretend that everything is okay? How is that okay?" Cisco retorted with frustration.

"Uh, Cisco, I don't think you're helping things." Hartley stepped in, hoping to diffuse the tension.

"You're right. I guess I'm not." Cisco said as a final word before storming back inside.

The group looked at each other awkwardly. "Well I guess the party is over." Frost mumbled.

Barry looked at Frost sheepishly. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to bring the mood down."

Frost placed a hand on Barry's shoulder. "Honestly, you've done more than enough for me today. Thank you for the party. I'll go talk to Cisco."

Barry directed a grateful smile at Frost as she walked back inside.

Ralph placed his hands into his pockets and shrugged. "Well I better meander my way home at get some beauty sleep. We'll continue this tomorrow?"

Barry nodded. "See you tomorrow."

Iris wrapped her arms around Barry's torso after the two were left alone. "Well that could have gone worse." She offered as a bright side.

Barry rested his chin on Iris's head. "Not sure about that."

"Cisco will come around." Iris said reassuringly.

"Like you did?" Barry questioned knowing the answer to his question. He himself was barely coming around to the idea of his death.

Iris tensed in his arms as she tried her utmost to remain supportive. All she could do in response was push herself closer into Barry's embrace as she sent a silent prayer in hopes that for once the world would give Barry a break.

Cisco panted heavily as he glanced around his lab. His equipment now laid scattered around him on the ground and for the first time, he found that he didn't care if he had broken anything in his moment of rage.

"I've got to say. Not your finest work." Frost spoke up from behind as she analyzed the mess.

Cisco groaned in annoyance. "Leave me alone. I'm not in the mood."

"You know you're going to have to clean this up. Seems counterproductive." Frost stated as she leaned against the doorway with her arms crossed.

"Get. Out. Frost." Cisco emphasized.

Frost rolled her eyes. "Are you done with your little temper tantrum?"

Cisco rolled his eyes and raised his arms in defeat as he bent down to gather the loose paper from the ground.

"You know acting this way isn't going to help the situation." Frost stepped closer to Cisco.

"You know what? You don't know how I am feeling, so why don't you just shut up."

"Okay, then why don't you drop the brat act and tell me how you feel?"

Cisco scoffed. "What? You're picking up some counselling on the side now?"

Frost shrugged. "I've got to pay the bills somehow. Ralph likes to call me Frosty Oprah."

"You can do that better than that nickname."

"I'm open to suggestions. Since you're a friend: your first session is free."

"Hmm. How generous of you."

"I try." Frost said with a smirk and moved around the mess before sitting down on a stool.

For a while, Frost just sat there and watched as Cisco tidied up. She stood to play a round of pinball and decided to wait for him to speak rather than pushing him to talk knowing from experience that Cisco will open up when he was ready to.

"I can't do it." Frost stopped playing and turned around to a slouched Cisco.

She raised an eyebrow. "Can't do what?"

"I can't just sit back and not do anything? Can you?" Cisco questioned.

Frost neared him and pushed herself up to sit on top of the lab table. "I don't think we really have a choice in the matter." Frost admitted.

Cisco leaned his weight into the table. "We can fight this. We can research. We have friends who are powerful and are in high places. Surely there's a solution somewhere out there; somewhere in the multiverse that can fix this."

"Barry saw billions of outcomes."

"That doesn't mean he saw them all. That doesn't mean that he has seen the absolute future." Cisco interjected.

"It means that he has seen a pretty good percentage. The probability-"

"-No." Cisco refused to stand down.

"Cisco- "

"NO!" Cisco shouted silencing Frost. She stood still as Cisco smashed his fist against the lab table. "You don't understand."

"Make me understand then."

Cisco took a deep breath to recollect himself. "I don't know how much Caitlin have told you, but I don't think it takes a wise guy to know that I don't have a lot of friends. I have no childhood friends, no college friends. None of my family have really seen eye to eye with me. But then I came to Star Labs: I met Caitlin, I met Ronnie, I met Barry and suddenly I have this entire family who not only gets me but makes me believe in myself. What Barry is asking of me is to deny everything that I am. I can't watch him die knowing that I didn't try everything that I could to stop it. It's not who I am. I don't abandon my family. I won't abandon Barry. I didn't when everyone thought he died in the Speed force; I won't do it now."

"No one is asking you to, but don't you think denying his wishes is in a way abandoning him too?" Cisco directed his glance away from Frost. "Death is not something I handle too well. I have always tried to persevere at any chance I get even if my actions weren't the purest. I think Barry running towards his death rather than away from it is the greatest act of courage one can demonstrate. Barry is not asking you to give up on him. He's asking you to be with him. Through those times, he will need all the support that he can manage. No one wants to say goodbye to their loved ones, Barry is no exception to that." Frost sat up straighter and crossed her leg over the other. "I don't know what I would do if some ancient being came to me and prophesized that I need to die in order to save the universe. Maybe shoot an icicle spear through their face or try to." Frost joked but then quickly turned serious. "But I do know that I would want those who I care for to be with me."

Cisco clenched his jaws as he continued to look down at the ground.

"Just maybe ease up a bit, Barry is trying the best that he can." Frost hopped off the lab table and patted Cisco's shoulder before exiting out of the lab.

"That doesn't mean that I don't give my best shot as well." Cisco whispered back to himself. Letting Barry die was not an option.

Frost arrived back at the lounge to find that everybody had already left, and the lounge was cleaned spotlessly. "Damn, you move fast Barry."

Barry turned around after he finished rearranging the couch and took a curtsey. "I aim to please."

"You would be every stay at home parent's dream." Frost stated and brought her phone up to her ear. "Hello, I would like to request for a Flash cleaning."

Barry snickered before frowning. "How was Cisco?"

"May have to replace a couple lab equipment." Frost said as she shrugged nonchalantly.

Barry ran his hand through his hair. "I can pay for it."

"It's not your fault."

Barry tilted his head to the right. "Kind of think it is."

"Cisco will come around."

Barry's posture drooped. "I don't know, I don't think he will ever be on board with this."

"Yes, he will. He's your best friend. It just may take some time." Frost assured.

"Oh good, I have an everlasting amount of that." Barry muttered sarcastically.

"Barry." Frost directed a pointed look at Barry.

"I'm sorry. It's just been a stressful time."

Frost offered a supporting smile. "I can imagine."

Barry returned her smile. "Thank you for trying to help with Cisco."

"All in a day's work."

"I appreciate it." Barry scanned the room to see if there was anything else to clean up before grabbing his jacket. "Okay, I think I'm going to call it a day and head home. Good night Frost."

Frost grabs onto Barry's arm before he could leave. "Hold on soldier, there's something you need to deal with first."

Barry gave a confused look. "What?"

"Good luck, Barry."

Before Barry could retort to Frost's statement, Frost transformed in front of him and in her place, he found a teary Caitlin. "Frost, now is not a good time, I haven't begun to proce—oh damn it Frost!"

Barry fished out a handkerchief from his back pocket and handed it to Caitlin. "Here."

Caitlin released a small giggle. "You still carry one around with you?"

"You laugh at this grandpa, but it never hurts to have one on me at all times."

"Well the sentiment is appreciated." Caitlin smiled as she dried her tears.

"You up for some coffee? A late night walk?

"That sounds great." Barry smiled in response and offered his arm out which Caitlin happily linked her own arm through.

*After a quick trip to CC Jitters*

"Did you see the look on her face when you had to, oh so politely, turn down her invitation for a drink out?" Caitlin asked in between her laughs.

"I guess my wedding ring wasn't enough of a deterrent for her, but she was not subtle whatsoever. I had to throw out her number twice."

"Seems like a third time judging by your cup sleeve." Caitlin gestured to the phone number written on Barry's coffee cup.

"Wow, she's persistent. She makes me miss Kendra or where was Natalie tonight?"

"Heard she's on a date with Chester." Caitlin mentioned in response.

"Good for him, bad for me."

Caitlin smirked. "You could take it as a compliment for your dashing good looks." Caitlin teased as she winked at Barry.

"You know you could have helped back there."

"And miss the entertaining show starring Bumbling Barry? No way. I haven't been amused that much in a while."

"Yeah, well don't go looking out for an encore." Both smiled at that and continued to walk along the path in the nearby park as they sipped their coffees.

"Hey, thanks for throwing Frost a birthday party. It made her day."

Barry shrugged. "It was my pleasure. She mentioned that she wants to go white-water rafting next year."

The mood sobered from lighthearted to serious instantly. Caitlin stiffened and stopped in place.

"Caitlin?" Barry questioned and turned around.

"Right…next year…us all together white-water rafting." Caitlin said softly as she hung her head down.

"I think it would be really fun. You think Ralph could inflate out into a boat like Elastigirl did in The Incredibles? Now how hilarious would that be? Plus, if anything were to go wrong, Frost could always use her powers to freeze the waves." Barry said in an amused tone as he cracked a grin at Caitlin.

Caitlin remained silent and gave a somber look.

Barry sighed and stepped nearer towards Caitlin. "Come on, lighten up."

"It's not funny." Caitlin whispered sadly.

"Cait."

"This shouldn't be happening. I don't understand. Why you?"

Barry shrugged. "That's the hand I was given."

Caitlin shook her head. "No this isn't fair. You deserve better."

Barry rubbed his hands together. "Can't say we weren't warned about it, we knew this was coming."

"Not like this. We thought we had more time." Caitlin insisted. "This isn't…I just…it shouldn't...what will we; what will Central City do without you?"

"Central City has more than one protector. I haven't been protecting Central City all this time on my own. I wasn't present for a couple of months after Savitar and we didn't know if that was going to be permanent or not. I have the highest faith in all of you that you will continue to protect Central City when I'm gone." Barry said sincerely.

Caitlin avoided Barry's eyes and swallowed deeply. "I…." Caitlin took a deep breath. "I will gladly trade places with you if it means you get to live." Caitlin whispered.

Barry eyes widened at Caitlin's implication. "How could you even- "

"-Everything would be better if that was the case." Caitlin interjected as her eyes watered.

"No, it would not!" Barry shouted furiously. "My life. Does Not. Hold greater value than yours. Do you understand?" Barry emphasized. "I'm not going along with this just for the heck of it. Yes, it's my duty to protect the world when I hear my calling, but you better believe that I'm not so unselfish that I wouldn't place those who I value most in my life first. Whatever this is. Whatever I have to do to see this through. I will for you guys. First and foremost. This world where I won't be a part of is one where I want to see you live in."

Caitlin's bottom lip quivered as she tried to grasp the fact that in order for the world to be saved, they would have to lose Barry. "Why did it have to be like this?" Caitlin whispered heartbreakingly.

"It's okay." Barry said comfortingly as he pulled Caitlin closer to his chest and wrapped both his arms snuggly around her. "It's okay." Caitlin pressed herself closer to Barry and gripped his shirt as she cried into it. Barry rubbed his hand up and down Caitlin's back to calm her while occasionally whispering "It's okay"

Both chose to remain silent even after breaking their embrace. They continued walking along the waterfront and drank their coffee. It was comfortable, peaceful, and both just focused on enjoying the moment. They stopped to lean against a railing and looked out at the water.

"You know when the time comes." Caitlin turned her gaze towards Barry who continued to look out at the scenery. "I hope you will be there with me."

"Without question." Caitlin answered immediately. A wide grin spread on Barry's face and Caitlin returned to taking in the view with a smile. Caitlin wasn't sure she would ever be ready to say goodbye to Barry, but she would be there for Barry. Whenever the time comes. Always.

That's a wrap on this chapter. I hope you like it.

-V