What was said to me was just...blah. I'm tired. This is my fic. I'll write how I want and respond to people how I want. So...here goes! - Also. I just woke up and have already misspelled a billion review replies...you all probably already saw that. So...excuse any misspellings. I was going to wait until morning to update...but I'm bored out of my mind!
Eva: Thanks so much for reviewing! I think I might abandon my own ship if it ended up being 200 chapters though. Ha.
Sunny: Thanks so much for reviewing!
Melissa: I'm happy I'm managing to work in interactions. I have a new secret weapon when it comes to displaying emotions though show not tell...and it looks like it's working! So glad I found it. Secret weapons make me feel dark. Baha. I think Remy would disagree about the Batman thing. She might lose a few fingers if she squeezes him. xDDD Cam would agree though. Ha. I've been told I write pretty cute kids whether she is or isn't.
Setyourself: Thank you so much. Even though you're online...that whole "-wiggles eyebrows-" was super adorable. Hehe.
Kirei: Eh. It was some stuff that was said. Thank you so much for reviewing!
Kj: Thank you so much for reviewing!
Audio: Thanks for reviewing! I'm glad you like it. Despite that I have the last chapter all planned out...I think I'll be continuing for quite sometime.
Roronoa: I do know the end of the story. And also major events between now and the end. I'm just going chapter by chapter...not really know what the next chapter will be about until I hit a major event. But I'm enjoying doing it that way. Despite writers block, it seems to be working out just fine. It is fanfic, after all. It's not like I'm worried about getting it published or something. Wilson is my new best friend. He'll probably be appearing more often. I like ending things on a darker not. It inspires me to write the next chapter.
Foolishgames: Thanks so much for taking the time to review my story. It means a lot to me. I'm not good at shoving everything together quickly. It ends up being awkward. Heh.
Nijram: Thank you so much. I plan on continuing it for quite awhile.
Potion: Happiness is so overrated. "Happily ever after" is just a myth. I don't think I could write more than a oneshot without angst and drama. I'd like to hear some of your ideas. So far, everyone generally has the same idea from what I've heard.
Murmurs: Thanks so much!
Ina: Yes, well, I have to allow you some moments of joy. I could (and would prefer sometimes) to torture you all mercilessly...but...!
Twampy: Making my readers cry is sooo -win-. Haha. Glad you like Batman. He makes me happy to write. Especially when he's a "jerk". Teehee.
Nameless: Remy/Wilson always feels awkward to write...and if House would have showed up, he would have made things purposely even more awkward. Ha. It was better to have Kutner and Taub. Oh...yes...the end will definitely be to /my/ liking. I'm just gonna leave that sentence how it is. -snickers- I like going in depth with characters other people created. Everyone always tells me they're going to ship me off the work for LOST or House bc I'm always grumbling about how I would have done things.
Voldemort: So...I don't watch Harry Potter. But I have these two friends that listen to Potter Puppet Pals and go around singing. Now...my brain keeps repeating, "Voldemort. Voldemort. Ooh Volde-Volde-Volde-Volde-Voldemort!" Now I have to sit here bc it's hard to take anything seriously. Hahaha. - This fic could be 87+ chapt depending what happens. Cameron might confess her feelings...eventually. She's taking her time. She was actually supposed to do that last chapter...but it didn't happen. Thanks so much for reviewing!
Lessthan13: Who cares about readers? -hesitantly raises hand- You guys are too awesome for me to not care about! Gravity is just a myth invented to make people think they have to stay on Earth (and to watch them injure themselves!). Ha.
Ilessthree: If you want Batman, you'll have to fight Cameron for him. And you be able to get to Cameron, you'll have to go through Remy. I don't think it'd be worth it! Me + Happy times = Ahahahahahaha.
Sara: Thanks so much for reviewing! Glad you like it!
Ilive: Thanks so much. I always feel like I'm missing out on things important to the character when my chapters are too short. If they were shorted, I'd end up cutting out the little bits of fluff I actually have. Batman, Wilson, and Kutner would be missed...by me at least.
JB: Yeah...a bad review is close enough to what happened. I think it's okay now. I asked for my fic to be left alone. I'll write it how I want it. I might be a little slower at updating. School is gonna be starting soon and updating takes a lot of thought and time. I will be pumping out oneshots when I have writers block for SF though! I'm impulsive too. I actually thought about deleting everything. But I know I'd back it all up first on my computer bc I can't let go of things. I like making people understand what I'm writing and why...and occasionally joking around up here. -snickers- It's also easier than responding to a million PMs. I'd get panicky I might accidentally forget people. Poor Kutner and Taub. Lol. They're sticking around for awhile at least bc they're fun to write. Hm. I never thought of Batman being dog-napped. o_o The rape will definitely come up if they start being intimate. No getting around it.
Tortured: Thank you so much for reviewing!
Jess: Don't apologize for not reviewing more often. Point is...I don't want anyone to feel like they have to. Bc they don't. I'm glad you like Wilson! Fairytale Wars was the only game I could think of bc I really wanted to play it at the moment. Ha. It's a hilarious game! I play it with my two brothers all the time. Unfortunately, Remy having Huntington's has to be brought up eventually. Death isn't really something you can skip around.
YDPP: Wow. Killing everyone off and having freaky happenings actually sounds like something I would even do. Lol. But...I don't plan on killing /everyone/ off! I have to remind myself this isn't LOST when I get in the mood to kill people off. Lol.
Amazon: Yes. Cam is back with Remy and now I can go have Chase for myself. And I will make sure he never ever ever cuts his hair again!!! D= Stupid guy. When are my chapters /ever/ light-hearted?! Haha. I feel really bad about falling asleep PMing you! I don't even remember closing my eyes! Next thing I knew, I woke up and was all, "Oh my gosh, it's 4am!!!! DDDD=". I didn't even know I was tired. Huh.
Final: Baha. I'm not going to call you names for not reviewing! Like I said...reviewing is optional. As impossible as this may sound...my life will go on without reviews. -gasp- Thanks for taking the time to review though. xD
Anonymous: I was actually wondering where you were. Haha. I'm glad you like it. Thanks so much!
Shan: You can just call me 'R' or 'Ra', if you want. Rabidnar is an acronym and it feels weird seeing 'Rab'. Haha. Or you can call me 13 or Richard (which is what the 'R' stands for). It's just something that was said to me that made me feel like I owed apologies. But I realize now that the person was wrong and I need to just go about doing things my own way. Not all about puppies and rainbows? That cracked me up. I'm writing a Fem// fic with a puppy named Batman. Their life literally /is/ all about puppies and rainbows!!! xDDDD
Anyway. After the latest House...Wilson is so my new best friend! I used to wish House was my partner in crime...but now it's all about Wilson. I was literally rofl and hyperventilating! And did anyone else thing Thirteen was even cuter than usual? I didn't even know she could get any cuter until last episode. And next episode...omgosh. Obviously (especially if you've read Somewhere A Clock Is Ticking), I have a major thing for torturing Remy and psychopaths...and now I have both in the same episode!!!
And thanks to WrongObsession who is now helping me edit SF.
Oh. And I got one song request for a oneshot that I'm looking into doing...which reminds me if anyone has any oneshot requests, feel free to throw them at me! I can't make promises about writing them, but something might inspire me!
Thirteen's POV:
You have to remind yourself that smalls steps are your best option. Long, drawn out conversations will only upset you both. At least you got her to agree to take the test. It put you a little bit more at ease, but you're still nervous. What if the test ends up being positive? You're already not sure if you have a chance of being with her, but if she's pregnant, then that ruins whatever possibility you might have. You're dying. You remember what it was like to be a kid and watch your own mother die. There's little point in letting a kid get attached to you when your life will soon be over. Even worse, you'll go through hell before you die. That's another reason you can add to the endless list working against you and your chances with Cameron. You can't put her through that.
You lean sideways against the back of the couch, resting your head against your arm as you watch her. She stares downward and sways slowly back and forth, appearing deep in thought. You glance down at her foot as she taps it nervously on the ground, the movement practically vibrating the couch. You've discussed the chance that she's pregnant. She doesn't need to stay fixated on it. "I think," you say slowly, pausing to figure out a suggestion to get her mind off things, "that a vacation day warrants pajamas and hot chocolate."
She stops moving for a moment before glancing up at you. "It's the middle of the day and you want to wear pajamas?" she questions, her tone unreadable. "My pajamas are at Chase's house."
"You have what I gave you to wear to bed last night," you answer with a shrug. "Christmas is over. I think we can do without the reindeer." You try to lighten the mood but your words trickle off and you feel directionless. "I'll even let you kick my ass at a video game?"
Cameron gives a half-hearted shrug. "I'm going to call my mom first," she answers quietly and gets to her feet. She digs through her pocket for her cell phone and walks toward the kitchen.
"Alright." You turn to face the TV and contemplate turning it on to play the X-box. You don't get very far past consideration. Pursing your lips together, you tap your fingers on your knee and glance around the living room. Batman is sitting a few feet away from the couch and you sigh and look over at him. "Want to go for a walk?"
Batman stares at you for a moment before getting to his feet and following Cameron into the kitchen.
"Okay," you say slowly, drawing out the 'kay'. It's hard to figure out how your apartment suddenly managed to become so lonely and boring even with Cameron and Batman there. You get up and walk back to the bedroom, determined to finish out your vacation day the way you planned it. If Cameron doesn't want to wear pajamas and drink hot chocolate, then she's missing out and that's her problem.
Your mind travels to work as you strip down to your underwear then put your nightgown back on. It would be so easy to just grab your car keys and drive to the hospital. If House doesn't have a case, he's always willing to hand over his clinic duty. It would be something to keep you occupied and take your mind off everything. Leaving Cameron home alone doesn't seem like the best idea though.
Adjusting one of the straps on your nightgown, you turn to look at yourself in the mirror. The bags under your eyes and how thin you've become causes you to wrinkle your nose in disgust. You've managec to look better than this even after long, sleepless nights at clubs and bars. Helping Cameron is taking its toll, but you know you wouldn't give it up. Because of her, you don't feel so empty anymore.
A deep sigh escapes your lips and you rub at your eyes with the palms of your hands. It would be so nice to return to earlier when you were on the couch with your head resting on Cameron's lap. It's selfish to want attention, but it's also human nature. You're tired and lying next to Cameron is the most comfortable place you can think of to relax. You slide your hands from your eyes up into your hair and continue to stare at yourself in the mirror. In the reflection, you can see Cameron walking into the room behind you. She flips her cell phone shut and forces a smile.
"Decide to join me?" you ask, watching her through the reflection in the mirror for a second before turning around to face her. "You didn't talk very long."
"I wanted to be with you," she answers quietly with a shrug. It takes her a moment of glancing around the room before she finds where she dropped the t-shirt and sweatpants she had been wearing the night before. They're folded neatly beside your crumpled pile of laundry. She walks over to the clothes and stops in front of them. After a moment of hesitation, she pulls her shirt up over her head.
Your mouth suddenly feels dry as you stare at her bare back. Her body is forbidden territory, you remind yourself. She's hurt and she's straight. The room seems to lack oxygen and you find yourself breathing through your mouth. She doesn't put her shirt on before she takes off her pants too. You watch as she bends over in her underwear to pick up the clothes she's going to wear. Using every ounce of self-control you can possibly find in yourself, you look away. "I'm going to be in the living room." Your words are rushed and are more just a slur of sounds, rather than a sentence that's understandable. Not waiting for her response, you drag yourself from the room.
Thinking she's teasing you is illogical but sometimes it's like she pretends she just doesn't see you there, even though she knows you're watching. It makes you angry at yourself to realize you look at her that way you do. She's more than just a friend and different than any girl you've ever picked up before. Cameron is someone you could potentially fall in love with if you let yourself, and that thought alone is terrifying. Love is painful. It's not supposed to be, but it always seems to cause more hurt than pleasure.
You walk into the living room and kneel down by your X-box. It takes a moment, but after some debate, you decide to pug in a second controller just incase she wants to play. There's nothing like mindlessly killing gingerbread men and beavers to get your mind off the stuff you should be thinking about. You think about buying an extra steering wheel controller so the two of you can play racing games together, but realize it would be easier just to borrow Kutner's. You make a mental note to ask him for it tomorrow at work.
"We should take down the Christmas decorations," Cameron comments hesitantly, walking into the room. She wanders over to the tree and takes one of the candy canes.
"We'll do that on New Years," you answer, trying to sound like you're just lazy. In truth, you like looking at the decorations. You'll have to find another constant reminder of Cameron once you take them down. Everything on the X-box is ready to go so you turn on the TV then stand up. "Do you want some hot chocolate?"
"I'll make it." She stands by the tree for a moment longer, focused on getting the plastic off the candy cane. Once she gets it open, she crumples the plastic in her hand and puts the candy cane in her mouth. "Milk or water?"
"Didn't your mom ever teach you not to talk with your mouth full?" you tease her, smirking in amusement as she tries to keep the candy cane in her mouth and speak at the same time, causing her voice to slur a bit.
"Nope," she answers, not removing the candy from her mouth. "But she did teach me if you don't have something nice to say, don't say anything at all." She pokes your side as she walks past, causing you to grin. "Now answer the question." She walks into the kitchen and toward the cupboard to get mugs.
"What was the question?" you ask in an innocent voice, following a few steps behind her.
She sighs deeply and pulls down two mugs. "Milk or water?" she repeats slowly, the candy still slurring her voice.
"Milf or wawer?" you mock her, trying to keep a straight face. Stopping beside her, you bump shoulders with her. "I don'f know. You telf me."
Cameron pulls the candy cane out of her mouth and spins around, pointing it at your face. "Are you five?" she asks, smirking and raising an eyebrow at you.
You cross your eyes to look at the candy cane. It's about a centimeter away from stabbing you in the nose. "Nope," you answer confidently with a grin. "But I spend time with House and Kutner, so what do you expect?" You lift your hand and push her makeshift weapon away, ensuring she isn't going to accidentally jab you in the face with it.
"True," she sighs, trying to sound exasperated but failing. She puts the candy back in her mouth then grabs the mugs and walks over to the refrigerator.
Allowing her to make the hot chocolate, you pull a chair out from under the table and collapse onto it. "Kutner has been really happy lately," you muse, resting your elbow on the table and your head against your hand. "Do you think I should ask him out?" You really aren't attracted to him, but you need a better distraction from Cameron than Rebecca can provide.
Cameron slams the microwave door loudly once she puts the mugs inside, causing you to look up. "Do you think I should ask Wilson out?" she retorts, hitting the buttons on the microwave and not turning to look at you.
"No." Your tone is a tad harsh and the word escapes your mouth much too quickly. Frowning, you look away from her again and scrunch up your face in disgust. Cameron and Wilson would not make a good couple, you tell yourself, despite their obvious chemistry. You and Cam-You remind yourself not to think that way. "The microwave is going to go-"
The microwave beeps and Cameron jumps at the sudden noise. She glances down and rubs her arm then wraps her arms around herself.
"…off," you finish, getting to your feet. "It startles me too sometimes," you lie, walking over and opening the microwave door.
"Sorry," she murmurs then puts her candy cane back in her mouth.
"There's nothing to be sorry about," you assure her. You're beginning to get tired of hearing the word 'sorry'. You pull out the two mugs and take a sip from one of the warm cups of milk, then set them both down on the counter. "Do you like Wilson?" you ask, trying to sound casual as you pull two packets of hot chocolate down from the cupboard.
"Wilson is my friend," she answers, walking over and taking one of the packets from you. "I was making a point."
"You don't want me dating Kutner so you threaten to date Wilson? Why?" you ask, trying to understand her point. You take a step back and open the drawer you're standing in front of to get two spoons. She stares at you with an sullen look on her face then takes one of the spoons and sets to stirring her hot chocolate in silence. You take a sip of your hot chocolate after mixing it then lick your lips, getting the hint you should shut up before you say something really stupid.
"I'm going to play with the X-box," you inform her, watching her take the candy cane out of her mouth and swirl it around in the hot chocolate a few times before dropping it in. "You're more than welcome to join me."
"How do you manage to play with your wrist wrapped?" she asks, following you into the living room. "You should really let me check that later."
"My wrist is fine," you reply quickly, glancing down at it. There was no intense pain or excessive swelling, only sore cuts you had put there purposely. You take another sip of your drink then put the mug on the coffee table and collapse back onto the couch. Playing videos games with only one hand was definitely not easy and you already know she's going to beat you. You lean forward and pick up the two controllers then hand her one. "Good luck," you say an overconfident grin. "You're going to need it."
"I'm not the one who can barely hold the controller," she reminds you, settling back against the couch. "Just because-" Her voice comes to a halt as the sound of her ringtone can be heard coming from back in the bedroom. She glances back toward to room then sighs and puts her controller down beside her. "I'll be right back."
"I'll be here," you answer, propping your feet up on the table. You glance at her and smirks as she starts toward her phone. "Maybe I'll hit play and get a head start."
"You're such a cheater!" she calls to you once she gets to the bedroom.
You chuckle softly and set the controller down beside you. "Bring your phone out here," you call to her. "If you play while you're on the phone, maybe I'll have a fair chance!" You wait for her to respond, but glance at Batman when there's silence. He stares back at you and cocks his head to the side. "I guess she doesn't like cheaters," you tell him, rolling your eyes with a smirk.
You slap your hands down on your knees and pretend to be making an advance toward the dog. He leaps to his feet and growls at you. "I didn't know cotton balls could be so ferocious," you say sarcastically. You get to your feet and walk back to the bedroom, curious to see who Cameron is talking to. You're shocked to see her sitting on your side of the bed, hugging one of your pillows as she holds the phone to her ear. She's staring straight ahead with a blank, unreadable expression.
"Is that him?" you ask, clenching your fists. She looks up at you with wide eyes, almost staring right through you. "Allison, is that him on the phone?" you repeat firmly although you're already sure of the answer. You slowly crawl up onto the bed, kneeling in an unbalanced manner beside her. You put your injured hand on her shoulder to keep yourself up right then snatch the phone from her.
"Remy!" she cries, snapping back to reality. Her eyes go even wider and she grabs for the phone but you hold it away from her. "What are you doing?!"
"Who the hell is this?" you ask, pressing the phone to your ear.
"Well, I was wondering when you and I would get a chance to chat," the voice over the phone sneers. "I knew eventually someone would try to stick up for her. I was just hoping it'd be her pathetic excuse for a boyfriend."
"You listen," you snap, not really caring for a conversation if it won't get you any answers. "Stop calling," you warn him. Cameron has started shaking so you sit down and pull her closer to you. "You better keep over five hundred thousand miles away from her, do you understand?"
"Or what?" he asks in an amused tone. "You'll go to the police? They're already looking for me. Do you have a backup plan?"
"I'm not screwing around with you," you snarl, your nostrils flaring as you take deep breaths. "I will find you if I have to." Eyes fixated angrily on the wall, you try to remain calm and not go into a blind rage. Cameron is attempting to hide against you, her face buried against your bare shoulder. You place your hand on the back of her head and snap the phone shut then throw it toward the end of the bed. "He's just trying to get a rise out of you, Allison," you tell her, clenching your jaw. "He wants you to get all worked up." You hate how every time she starts feeling okay, he shoves her right back down. "What did he say to you?" you ask, feeling her warm tears falling onto your shoulder.
She wraps her arms around you like a little kid that needs reassurance she's safe and protected. Her breath starts hitching in her throat and she can't seem to get close enough to you. "He said he'll see me soon," she whimpers.