Disclaimer: I do not own IT or any of the characters. That all belongs to the awesome and talented Stephen King. I only own my OC and other characters I make up along the way.
A/N: Here's the waited chapter that basically concludes the movies plot for IT: Chapter One. The Blood Oath scene. However, as I mentioned before I plan to update one more time before heading into the plot for IT:Chapter Two. That chapter will take place during Gwen's Senior year when she graduates. Look forward for that. Although I ain't gonna lie it's going to be angsty. I apologize now for that. I also wanted to let you guys know, if it feels like I am leaving out some information, let it be known I am doing that on purpose. For instance, I didn't really explain the aftermath with Henry, nor if the bodies of Victor and Belch, and Henry's father were discovered. Or what happened to Beverly's father after he was knocked out by her because of what he tried to do. Some people say he died, while others say he survived the hit. The movie didn't really clear that up. Obviously none of us will know until IT:Chapter Two. That means I am going to get into all that once we get into IT:Chapter Two. I also didn't mention the aftermath of the kids leaving the sewers, nor of Gwen and Richie's parents reactions when they see the state they are in. I want to add all that in IT:Chapter Two in a flashback scene. I just want to see how the movie explains things before I try to include it in my story. Hope that clears things up.
Anyways...I haven't heard any new updates for IT:Chapter Two. I just keep hearing that a trailer or teaser is supposedly going to drop sometime in April. I have no idea if this is true but it makes sense because the re-adaptation for Pet Sematary is coming out in April. We'll just have to wait and see for ourselves. I am excited to see the re-adaptation for Pet Sematary. It's one of my favorite Stephen King works, the others being IT, Carrie, Misery and The Mist. Another one of his works that being turned into a movie is his novel Doctor Sleep, which is a sequel to The Shining. But we all know that IT:Chapter Two is what we're all waiting for. I know I am.
I don't know exactly when I'll update the next chapter before I head into IT:Chapter Two but I'll to update as soon as possible. I am graduating in May and I'm just super paranoid that if I slack off in my classes I won't walk. I don't wanna get stuck with Senioritis, not when I am finally going to finish college. That would be such a bummer. Anyways...I'll end my author's note here. Enjoy!
Oh...but do enjoy the small Cujo reference in this chapter. There will be another reference/Easter egg in the next chapter for another Stephen King novel. Care to guess which one it will be?
"But all fairy-tales have rules, and perhaps it's their rules that actually distinguish one fairy-tale from the other. These rules never need to be understood. They only need to be followed. If not, what they promise won't come true." ― Jostein Gaarder
Chapter 25: Blood Oath
September, 1989
There was something beautiful about this day. Beautiful yet melancholic.
That's what Gwen Tozier thought as she and the Losers were sitting around the field in front of the kissing bridge. Despite the intensity from all their individual emotions mixing together, all eight of them felt strangely at peace.
The group of friends were sitting on logs, forming a circle. Gwen herself was sat down between Richie and Bill. Across from her view was Stan and Ben. Eddie and Mike were in front of Beverly who in return sat down between Bill and Ben.
Birds chirping could be heard all around the open field, adding to the serenity that surrounded them. That sense of peace they had briefly felt faltered as soon as Beverly began telling them about what she experienced when under ITs influence. How she fell under that catatonic state (the same one Ben was able to get her out of) because of ITs dreaded deadlights.
"I can only remember parts, but…I thought I was dead." Beverly emotionally started telling her friends. Gwen in particular listened with great interest because of her own experience with ITs deadlights. Or better yet what she was lucky enough not to experience for herself. She also listened closely because before today Beverly hadn't told any of them anything about that experience with ITs deadlights.
Gwen herself had right away told the others (once leaving the sewers and the Neibolt House) about her experience with IT. Well, not her whole experience. She didn't tell them everything IT had done to her when she had been brutally pinned down on the sewer floor. She did mention how the deadlights for some reason didn't have any affect on her, and how that just ended backfiring because that infuriated IT.
Which resulted in her gaining an angry bite that now permanently resided on her right shoulder. A bite wound that Gwen would lie for sometime (and soon that lie would then turn into a distant memory), about how it had been a dog that bit her. Some would ask what kind of dog was it? To which the Tozier girl would respond that it was a big dog. An angry big dog.
Speaking of rather large animals...Gwen also didn't mention the Turtle she had encountered when unconscious. The reason why was because she couldn't exactly remember seeing a large Turtle. Not anymore that is. Her memory of seeing an actual Turtle was hazy. All Gwen could recall when passed out was the benevolent voice she heard. And all she could remember from that alone was her unfortunate luck when it came to love. Those words that were told remained with her and they were messing with her.
That was more emotional pain than physical pain, but it was emotional pain she spared her friends from hearing. Therefore, the Tozier girl made sure to tell them about the experience she did want them to know. The pain she felt from the all injuries IT caused her. Gwen had even told them about the fight she had gotten with Henry before being captured by IT. And Victor's sad fate when he got Henry off of her.
Gwen told them everything minus the pain that came from below. Even after escaping the sewers, Gwen sometimes would feel the burn between her legs. It was obvious the first few days. No matter how many times she had showered and scrubbed herself, the pain was there. However, she liked to think that pain was more psychosomatic.
That's at least what she would tell herself at night when she laid in bed. It's what helped her fall asleep. Not that she got much sleep the first few days after her experience with IT. Though she supposed none of them really did. Despite IT being gone, Gwen didn't feel secure...not one hundred percent. That's why she couldn't judge Beverly for making them wait. Each of them had gone through something personal with IT. The evil entity knew how to get under their skin, and they each reacted in their own way.
But now the eight of them were here...together.
Beverly took a pause with what she was about to say. She felt as if she had lost her voice but then regained strength when she caught Gwen's gaze. The older girl gave her a nod, encouraging her to go on. There was a new sense of trust and understanding between them. Beverly was the only one out of the Losers to truly know what Gwen had gone through when in the sewers with IT. Not only that, but Beverly had openly told Gwen the truth about her father, and how she had to fight him off. Their friendship had gotten stronger, if that were even possible. Which Gwen was going to have trouble dealing with after Beverly's departure from Derry.
Beverly had returned the nod before continuing. "That's what it felt like. I saw us, saw us together back in the cistern, but we were older…I mean, our parents ages."
All the Losers looked at one another after hearing that. Bill was the first to speak at such a confession. He gave the red haired girl a look of puzzlement. "W-w-what were we all doing there?"
Beverly shook her head, unable to fully answer his question. Her eyes lowered down a bit. "I just remembered how we felt, how scared we were, I don't think I can ever forget that."
All the Losers remained quiet after that. Each of them processing what Beverly said. For Gwen she kept trying to picture herself as an adult...back in the sewers again...with IT. The thought of returning to the sewers made the bite mark that was on her right shoulder sting. She kept her face neutral as she let the pain pass. It was sad to admit but she was getting used to the pain the bite mark would cause her every now and then. It was pain she'd rather feel than the one she felt from below. That one was thankfully starting to disappear as the days went by...and hopefully the shoulder pain would go away soon. Though she had a feeling the bite mark would never go away.
None of the Losers knew how much time had gone by before the silence was broken. Bill's gaze landed on a piece of a broken bottle. Shortly after this discovery his eyes hardened with a new set of determination. Bill grabbed the piece of broken bottle as he stood up, his gaze now going over each of his friends. "Swear." He earnestly told them. The grip he had on the broken bottle piece tightened. His stutter was nowhere in existence as he now spoke. "Swear if IT isn't dead...if IT ever comes back, we'll come back too."
Gwen closed her eyes briefly before taking action. With an exhale she stood up and looked directly into Bill's eyes. "I swear." The dark haired girl told him with an unreadable expression. Her voice, however, was a different story. The resolute her voice held at the moment let Bill and the others know that she definitely meant what she just said. This was not an empty promise on her end.
The other Losers followed in her and Bill's steps. Each of them then silently watched as Bill cut his palm. When it was Gwen's turn she bit the bottom of her lip. In her head she kept telling herself that this small cut was nothing compared to what she had gone through. The next person was Richie. Gwen comforted her younger brother when he grimaced at the feeling of his palm being cut. The Tozier siblings then comforted Eddie when it was his turn.
Out of all of them Eddie was the most nervous. However, Gwen was proud at the smaller boy because despite being nervous he still let it happen. The Eddie she had known before the events that happened that summer would have never allowed that to occur. He'd probably run off or ramble about how many germs and diseases one could get from a dirty broken piece of bottle. None of that ended up happening because Eddie wasn't necessarily the same person. He wasn't that timid, hypochondriac boy anymore. And as his watch kept beeping, and he made no action of taking his "medication", Gwen knew that Eddie had finally stood up to his overbearing mother. She gave the smaller boy a smile, and it remained longer than she had intended when she saw his cast again. The LOSER that was there now read LOVER. Gwen felt a rare happiness that he had taken her advice.
Gwen let her gaze go to each of her friends as Bill cut their palms. She sent each of them a look of comfort when it was there turn. Her breathing picked up a bit (as did her heartbeat) when Bill stood in front of Stan. Stan made eye contact with Gwen and looked at her when Bill gently cut his palm. Stan grimaced an closed his eyes. And just like Gwen (not that he knew what she had been thinking), he told himself this small cut on his palm was nothing compared to the injury he got on his face. When he opened his eyes again the first thing he saw was Gwen. That instantly made him relaxed and he no longer could feel any pain on his palm.
After Stan it didn't take long for Bill to finish cutting the remaining Losers' palms. Bill then went back to stand in his place after finishing cutting their palms. The broken piece of bottle now thrown to the side. The Denbrough boy stuck out both of his hands. The one with the cut palm was closer to Gwen. The Tozier girl didn't hesitate, and gladly took hold of Bill's hand. Gwen stuck out her hand, the one that had the blood running down the cut was closest to Richie. Her younger brother with utter carefulness took hold of her hand. He gave Gwen's hand a squeeze before offering his own cut palm to Eddie. With a deep breath the smaller boy took hold of Richie's hand. Eddie then offered his hand to Mike, to which he accepted and that continued to happen until they were all holding hands.
The blood from the cuts on their palms dripped down onto the grass, and even though that was probably a weird image to picture from an outsiders perspective, none of the Losers were the least bit disturbed. This was an important moment for all of them. This was moment was signifying their friendship and the strength that was created from the bond they had with one another. A bond none of them were going to be able to feel with other people that would enter and leave their lives as the years passed. There was a power growing between all of them...a power that wasn't corruptible or could be mimicked. This feeling they were experiencing at the moment was something they were only going to be able to experience with each other.
Gwen Tozier didn't want this moment to end. They were all together...and dare she say...they were happy. She felt like she was a kid again. As if her innocence was still there. She could tell she wasn't the only one feeling this way. The peaceful expressions the Losers had proved that to her. They were truly at peace right in this moment as they each held hands.
Unfortunately, the moment needed to come to an end. However, the moment ended way to soon in Gwen's opinion. As they each began to let go, Gwen mentally told herself to never forget this moment. This moment which was one of the few happier moment she had with her friends during the summer of 1989. A moment she sadly would end up forgetting as she got older. A moment all the Losers would forget, and wouldn't remember even with the scar that remained from the cut that signified their promise.
"I gotta go." Stan suddenly announced. Everyone in the friend group turned to look at him. As they each stared at him, Stan's light brown were focused on Bill. "I hate you." He evenly spoke causing the Denbrough boy and the others to frown concurrently.
There was silence around the field but the awkwardness of what was just said didn't last very long.
The first to laugh was Stan. His laughter let the others know his declaration had been a fake one. Eddie was the next to burst into laughter, followed by Richie, Gwen, and then the rest of the Losers. When the laughter eventually stopped, Stan shyly made eye contact with Gwen. Her dark eyes stared into his light brown eyes. Although Stan was quiet, his expression said a thousand things.
Gwen contemplated on what to do. She had yet to bring up the emotional encounter they had in the sewers. They had each said I love you to each other. It was a big deal...Gwen knew that. The L word was always a big deal and Gwen had never said I love you out aloud. Well, she had said aloud but only to her family. Except the love she had for Stan was in no way the same love she had for her family or the love she had for the other Losers. She really was in love with Stan. Gwen knew she couldn't keep quiet on the matter anymore. Stan and her needed to talk...even if it was going to cause some heartbreaking results. Something she was dreading but knew it would eventually happen.
Gwen tried her best to ignore her own heartbreak as she spoke. "Can I walk you home?" She softly asked Stan, inwardly hoping he would say no and that she could prolong this even more. That didn't end up being the case.
Stan nodded his head without hesitation.
The other Losers watched as Stan made his way closer to Gwen. Somehow they each had a feeling something was about to happen between them. Except they didn't know it was going to be more heartbreaking than heartwarming. Before leaving, Stan and Gwen each said their goodbyes to the rest of the Losers. None of them knew this was the last time all eight would be together as a group for awhile. Twenty-seven years to be exact. If Gwen had known that she would have made her goodbye more meaningful than the casual "catch you guys on the flip side." Gwen though didn't know...and once looking at this exact moment again as an adult (once regaining her childhood memories), she was going to hate herself for not being more earnest.
Gwen soon found herself walking alongside Stan. She had felt a bit awkward at first now that it was just the two of them. Neither of them said a word as they walked to Stan's house. Gwen knew the purpose of this walk but she had yet to say something that hinted to that reason. She just wasn't looking forward to what was soon about to happen. She let out a sigh as she inwardly argued with herself.
Say something. You can't keep pushing this away. This needs to be done. You know that it does.
"You know I've always liked your curls." Gwen finally said, breaking the silence. Immediately she wanted to slap herself. That was not what she had intended to say. What the hell was wrong with her? She was just making this more difficult on herself and was going to cause Stan more pain.
Stan glanced at her as they kept walking. He became sheepish at her endearment towards him. "Even with these bandages on my face?" He asked feeling insecure.
"Even with the bandages." Gwen softly reassured him. She didn't care whether or not his face was going to have permanent scaring from the bites he had received from IT. The same way he hadn't cared about her own appearance when going up against Henry and IT. For Gwen, Stan was still the cute, bird loving, boy from before. The same boy with OCD tendencies and the boy who seemed to love her despite her own faults. His love for her was strong as the love she had for him...which only made what was about to happen even more devastating.
Stan finally released a smile and felt a very familiar warmth rise to his cheeks. Maybe it was because of her compliment, or perhaps it was because he was done acting like a coward, but Stan grabbed Gwen's hand. He didn't care that it was the one with the cut on her palm. He gently took hold of her hand and intertwined their fingers.
Gwen almost came to a complete stop when that happened. She should have came to a halt and let go...told Stan that this was not right...even though it sure felt like it was. Gwen knew this was just gonna cause more pain as well...but she didn't stop such an action. She let it go on and she hated herself for doing that to Stan. It wasn't like she didn't like holding hands because she did. She loved holding Stan's hand but it was something that she knew wouldn't happen again. Not in a romantic way at least. Gwen wanted to cry right then and there. She didn't though. No...she'd wait until she got home.
Speaking of home...they had ended up reaching Stan's home a lot faster than Gwen thought they would. She didn't know whether to be sad or happy about that. Now that the walk had ended, Gwen knew she needed to get through with what she had intended. Gwen gently let go of Stan's hand and moved to give him some space. The curly haired boy saw nothing wrong with that, figuring she was about to say her own goodbye before heading back to her own home. However, he had something to say to her now that it was just the two of them. Stan probably should have brought this up when they had been walking but he had been too happy with holding her hand.
"I guess me denying I like you would be futile now, huh?" Stan told her. He felt his stomach do nervous twists but he continued talking. As he had said, lying would be pointless. Besides he wanted her to know now. "Well, the truth is I do like you...no, I love you."
Gwen's heart ached when she heard him say this. "Stan..." She whispered. Her he was confessing to her again about how he loved her. This only made her want to burst into tears. She wanted to say it back...oh how much she wanted to...but she fought herself on doing that. She thought back to Chase and Victor. How they died because of her. The images of their deaths entered her mind. Victor's especially. His death got to her the most because she had been there when it happened. She shuttered even more when imaging Stan suffering a familiar fate like Victor's or Chase's.
"And I know you love me too because you said it back...when we were in the sewers."
Gwen didn't fight him on that. "I know I did."
"And you're wearing the ring I gave you...on your wedding finger."
Damn her. Gwen was such an idiot. She shouldn't have put on the ring Stan had given her. But ever since her Turtle necklace had been destroyed in the battle against IT, and ever since she'd been reunited with the ring (thanks to Richie), it had become her new comfort item. It helped even more that Stan had given it to her. But perhaps wearing the ring at this exact moment wasn't helping things. What Stan said left her in a slight daze. Was she really wearing the ring he gave on her wedding finger? She gazed down at her hand and was left even more shocked. Stan was right...she was wearing the ring on her wedding finger. Her heart fluttered. Why hadn't she realized this before?
Gwen fought against her daze and shook her head. She looked away from her ring.
"I can't." Gwen told him in a weak voice.
Stan felt her heart race but not in a good way this time. It was more out of nervousness than from happiness. "What?"
"I can't do this." Gwen now gestured between the two of them. She hoped that made things more clear.
In a way it did. However, Stan was too shocked to figure out the exact reason why she had said this. He decided to go with the most logical choice. "Is it because you're older than me?" Stan sadly asked. He never really gave much thought on their age difference. Even though he was thirteen and she was fifteen, that never bothered him. If anything his mature personality made up those for those two missing years. Besides in his opinion, Stan acted more mature than most fifteen year old boys that were in Gwen's class.
Gwen's expression fell when Stan asked that. "Oh, Stan, it's not because of our age difference. I mean, sure two years to some is a lot and to others it's not. I just don't see you in that way." What a huge lie that was. Not to mention it hurt a lot to even say that. The truth was she did see him in that way but she knew she shouldn't. "Not after everything we've been through. With the memories I have."
"What do you mean?" Stan questioned, his voice rising. "You said you love me."
Gwen fought harder to stop her tears from escaping. "I know I did...and I do love you." She shakily said to him. "But I..."
"You what?" Stan urged her to finish her sentence.
"It's like I'm cursed." Gwen confided in him. "The first boy I truly liked died and the other one...Victor... who I was beginning to grow close to ended up meeting the same awful fate. You see my dilemma? Every person I've wanted to become emotionally close to in that way or might have in the future, dies. "
Stan was quick to dispute this. "But that was because of IT...and ITs dead, you don't have to worry anymore."
Gwen gave him a sad look. The bite on her right shoulder began to sting again as she thought of IT. She knew despite the wound healing a scar of the bite would forever be there. A scar that would be a terrible reminder of what happened during the summer of 1989. "We don't know that for sure and I'm not willing to risk it. Especially if it involves your life."
"So you're just never going to be with anyone?" Stan inquired with a frown.
The heartbreaking truth the benevolent voice had told her briefly entered her mind.
You'll find love but not the kind of love you wish to have. For the love you want will never last.
Gwen knew what that meant. Love–the kind she read in passionate romance novels and saw in movies–was something she was never going to experience. Although she did find a different kind of love. She found love with her friends. To her it was way more meaningful but she had to admit it left a empty feeling within her at how she wasn't ever going to experience the amorous type of love. She wanted to shed tears at how lonely her future was going to be. Except even now after everything that had happened, she knew being without a romantic partner would be for the better... since every time she came close to forming some type of ardent relationship it always came to an end too fast. First with Chase and then surprisingly with Victor. Unlike with Chase–who she knew she cared for a lot–Gwen didn't know for sure what she felt for Victor. They kissed but that action alone didn't mean she loved him...at least not yet. Their friendship was just beginning to grow and maybe through that friendship their feelings would have expanded. But now she'd never know. Victor was gone just like Chase. And that made her want to break down.
The truth broke her but she tried managing the pain IT had caused.
Gwen's eyes were crestfallen. "Apparently so."
Stan didn't like that answer. His face slightly became one of anger. "That's stupid."
"No, that's smart and aren't you one for logic?" Gwen heatedly questioned.
This time Stan was unresponsive. She got him there but after everything they've gone through logic now at the moment seemed pointless. "You're gonna be unhappy." He managed to tell to her, his voice low with emotion.
"The price to pay for being me, I suppose." Gwen answered back. She looked desolated.
Stan softened his eyes. "I want you to be happy. And I want to be the one that makes you happy." He slowly reached for one of her hands again. This time it was the one which had the ring he had given her. With much love, he intertwined their fingers together again and gave a soft squeeze. It was definitely a move that was supposed to be comforting.
For Gwen there was no comfort. It just made her even more sad. She didn't let go of his hand, rather just continued holding it. What she was about to say to him wasn't going to be easy but it had to be said. "You're a great guy, Stan. You're gonna make some girl happy, but that girl is not going to be me."
And that was somewhat true. Stan was going to make some other girl (woman) happy. Years from now when he was grown up and far from Derry, Stan would meet and then shortly after marry a woman named Patricia "Patty" Blum in his college years. A woman who came from the same religious background as him. Patty would catch his interest because of her dark brown eyes and matching colored hair (at the time) that reminded Stan of someone he once knew. However, by then his memories were a haze, so he had no idea who Patty (somewhat) resembled but it had been enough to lure him into marrying her. And although he cared dearly for Patty, as the years passed by with their marriage (a marriage one would describe as nice but bland), Stan couldn't help but feel as if his feelings for Patty weren't right. He wouldn't know why that was until twenty-seven years from now when that triggering phone call from Mike Hanlon would bring back all of his memories. The bad and the good ones. And it wouldn't be until then that his love for Gwen Tozier would come up to the surface again. His first and only real love.
Gwen's eyes glistened as did Stan's. "I'm sorry." Her voice broke as she told him this. She tried blinking back the tears that were close from escaping. I don't deserve someone like you. Please don't hate me, Stan. I'm doing this for you. I can't let you suffer the same fate that Chase and Victor did...please understand that.
As she looked into his eyes, Gwen kept being emotionally stirred by his sadness. She couldn't be with him, so the least she could do was give him something that she knew would not only be meaningful for him but for her as well. Something they would keep not only in their memories but in their hearts too.
And so she did the one thing Stan himself had been dreaming of doing...she kissed him. On the lips. It was a light gentle kiss but it had been a kiss nonetheless. His first kiss and it had been with his first crush. The girl he loved so dearly now with all his heart. He cherished the kiss. Once it was over, Gwen leaned away and gave him a smile. But to Stan it appeared sad and not at all there. He saw tears run down her cheeks.
"Goodbye, Stanley."
Gwen whispered to him before walking away.
Stan was left there even more confused and heartbroken than ever before. He knew it wasn't a permanent goodbye from her, so why did it feel like it was?
As he thought this, Stan felt his own tears run down his face.