Disclaimer: I do not own IT or any of the characters. That all belongs to the awesome and talented Stephen King. I only own my OC and other characters I make up along the way.
A/N: Guys, I saw the movie and I still can't get over my happiness and sadness. It was an amazing movie and there were a lot of heartfelt, funny, and scary moments. Obviously I'm gonna have to change a few things with my story and add my own twist to things but rest assured I'll follow the second part of the story as best as I can. This chapter focuses on Gwen getting ready to leave Derry and trying to remember stuff about her childhood with the Losers. The next chapter will be about her leaving, and returning to Derry...dun dun dun.
Before I get more into the movie and head into spoiler territory, can I just say how amazing the adult cast was? Like Bill Hader, WOW. Not that I was expecting anything dull because he is a talented actor. Have you seen his show Barry? If not go do yourself a favor and watch it. But his scenes in the movie were my favorite. Like I've said in the past, Bill Hader is adult Richie Tozier. Jessica Chastain was wonderful was an adult Beverly Marsh, like I was able to feel her pain. James Mcavoy as Bill Denbrough...oh man, you feel for him, you really do. Especially after that hall of mirrors scene. Shit, man.
James Ransone was great as adult Eddie Kapsbrak. Not only was the facial similarities were there, but he was able to convince me that he was adult Eddie by his acting. Amazing actor. Jay Ryan as Ben Hanscom, I think is also one of my favorite adult Losers. I mean, how can you not love Ben? He deserves to be loved. Isaiah Mustafa as adult Mike Hanlon was great as well. I am happy Mike got a way bigger role in the second part. But that's how it was in the novel. I loved all the Bill and Mike scenes though. And I feel from what we were given with Andy Bean as Stanley Uris in the movie was good enough. Obviously adult Stan has a bigger role in my version of the story.
*Warning do not read if you don't want the movie to be spoiled for you.*
I do wanna include everything in my story that happened in the movie. I'll need to make a few adjustments. For example, since Stan is alive I'm gonna add more scenes with him. I want him to have as much time/attention as the other Losers do in the movie. Also I know from what we saw in the movie Patty has blue eyes but in my story let's go with her having dark brown eyes. I figured if they got Andy Bean to play Stan Uris, despite him having a different eye color than Wyatt Oleff , than I can get away with that little detail. Also, in chapter 28 it is mentioned that Patty has blonde hair now instead of dark brown hair compared to when Stan first met her. It's important to know that because it makes more sense as to why Stan ended up with her during the twenty-seven years he hadn't seen/been with any of the Losers, specifically Gwen. It's obvious that in my version that Stan stuck with Patty because she reminded him of Gwen in someway. And that was enough...for a while. You can't just base off a marriage on some sort of resemblance. You need the real thing, as Stan is going to find out when he reunites with Gwen again.
I loved the all the flashbacks they showed us. Especially the one with Losers in the clubhouse. Now in order to include the clubhouse scene in the Barrens (because why wouldn't I include it?) I'm going to go back to chapter 14 and add a few details that would link back to the flashback I plan to have later on. Also during Richie's flashback with the Bowers Gang at the arcade, I just wanna point out that Victor wouldn't be there in my version because he was instead with Gwen. So it would just be Belch and Henry and Henry's cousin who would be there. Meaning that whole the Paul Bunyan Statue scene took place when Gwen was getting drunk and had her first kiss with Victor. Richie will eventually explain why he didn't tell her about what happened to him at the arcade and then his encounter with the Paul Bunyan statue. I plan on them having a serious/heart-to-heart brother and sister moment because they have a lot of things to discuss.
Speaking of Richie, I loved how the movie mentioned his struggles regarding his sexuality. It wasn't fully thrown at your face. It was subtle and I appreciated that. I know there's debate on whether Richie is gay or bisexual but in my opinion (based on the novel and what I got from the 2017 and 2019 redaptation of IT) I think he's bisexual. In the novel you can clearly read a whole chapter (when he invites Ben and Beverly to the movies) from his point of view with how he finds Beverly to be pretty and as an adult he's even been in a few relationships with women. The one that left the most lasting impression was the relationship he had with a woman name Sandy.
However, his relationship with Sandy and any other ones he had failed but it had more to do with work and him not taking the relationships seriously. I mean, he did but he wasn't serious enough for them. I think they wanted him to change who he was and well that simply could not do. Also even though Richie says he's not a romantic, I think we can all agree that he is...in his own way. Richie does care he just has a lousy way of showing it at times. Don't get me wrong, he's probably one of the most selfless people there is and that's something Gwen will point out when they see each other again during their brother and sister moment. But his love comes off as teasing/harsh jokes and not everyone likes that. I believe that was the reason why his relationship with Sandy ended in the book...or at least one of the main reasons. Now I also think his struggles with liking guys too played into that. Basically what I think is that Richie was confused for a very long time because he liked girls but he started to feel the same way towards guys. As a kid he was able to bury those feelings because he wasn't mature enough to accept them yet. He'd just tells jokes and was his usual Trashmouth self.
However, I can see him wanting to tell Gwen later on when they're older but by the time he came to almost to admitting those feelings out loud, Gwen and him were already quite distant from each other. And Richie was scared that because they were no longer close that she wouldn't accept him, which is funny because we all know how supportive Gwen is with the LGBT community. Not to mention when everyone thought Gwen was a lesbian, Richie was there for her, which is something I am going to bring up later on. Still, it was that doubt and his own insecurities that made Richie keep quiet. The thought of his sister rejecting him and cutting all ties with him permanently made him not say anything regarding his inner struggles. Not to mention he was also worried how everyone else would view him once they discovered his "secret".
Now do I think Richie had feelings for Eddie? Yeah, I think he did in his own "Richie Tozier" way, especially when they were kids. As you can tell those feelings in IT:Chapter One they weren't as obvious as in IT:Chapter Two. The reason why is because I think Richie didn't fully understand his feelings towards Eddie yet/he didn't want to admit those feelings out loud. Which was somewhat the same yet different with the way Stan handled/admitted his feelings for Gwen. Plus Richie's not big on romance (or he says xD). And anyways Richie would have been confused because he liked a boy (that's also one of his best friends), while he also found girls attractive. And at thirteen that can be very confusing, especially when dealing with IT.
Also as kids Richie and Eddie were the best of friends and bantered a lot but that was their thing. Except we all know none of the Losers were close to one another anymore after the summer of 1989. Those feelings remained but were buried...until they reunited. Even then though Richie didn't ended up finally admitting to himself that he really liked Eddie in that way until the very end and we know why :/ Gosh that scene got to me. Those who have seen the movie know what I am talking about. I think the last thing Eddie said to Richie was fitting considering the type of banter he and Richie had as kids, and as adults. Still...it hurts to think about that scene, and it's gonna hurt even more when writing it and having to include Gwen there :( After all, Eddie and her were great friends. Ahhhh...let's just take it one step at a time.
Speaking of Eddie and Gwen, I feel the need to point out that even though Eddie had a crush on her, it never really caused any issues or sparked jealousy from Richie. For one, Gwen was such an oblivious person when it came to someone liking her during her youth, and secondly, Richie thought (as it will be mentioned later on in the story) that the person Gwen would end up with was Stan. Just as Eddie thought. Remember he basically friend-zoned her when she bumped into him outside the pharmacy after admitting his crush on her. He told her Stan was the one she should be with. So there was never any reason for Richie to get jealous whenever Eddie and Gwen interacted with one another. Not even as adults. Which is something that wiill be read when they reunite. I do plan on Eddie and Gwen having a lot of scenes together as they did when they were younger. And of course Richie will be included. Expect a lot of bantering between Richie and Eddie and Gwen being thrown in the middle, having to witness it all xD I mean, we gotta enjoy the lightheartedness while we can.
Now we can talk about something I totally want to discuss? That's right the The Ritual of Chüd. I am beyond happy that they were able to include it in the movie. I was sad when they didn't include it in IT:Chapter One but we got it now and I think it was done as well as possible when when bringing it on the big screen. I am rather disappointed that the Turtle wasn't included. However, for my story the Turtle will very much be included, especially when the Losers perform The Ritual of Chüd. As you can imagine Gwen's personal test of courage is gonna be intense, given what IT did to her during her youth.
And man was I shocked but also not shocked (if that makes sense) when we got to see ITs spider form during the final battle. Like damn. I know technically that's not ITs "true form" the deadlights are, but the spider form is ITs true form while on earth. I can already imagine that scene play out with Gwen there when it comes to that point. She won't have a good reaction (who the hell would?) considering how much she HATES spiders. But IT already knew that...just like IT already knew a lot about her. Her fears and insecurities. That's one huge reason why I loved IT:Chapter Two because IT went after the Losers insecurities as adults, and they all had insecurities.
Also, since Stan is alive in my story his personal artifact is gonna differ from the one that was shown in the movie since he (just like the rest of the Losers) is gonna explore the town of Derry on his own. The artifact will be something meaningful that he cherished during his youth.
Anyways...I also want to say to you readers, expect a lot of protective Richie and Stan when it comes to Gwen for this half of the story. Or actually, just protective Losers in general, but you'll see more of that with Richie and Stan, especially after Gwen tells all of the Losers about what IT did to her when she was held captive in the sewers.
But on a brighter side of things, I was relieved to know that the Losers in this readaptation will remember each other after they leave Derry again. In the novel they actually loses their memories again as adults after killing IT for good but in this movie that doesn't happen. Which I am all for. Let the remainder Losers be happy please, and stay friends. This also works wonderfully for me because that'll go with my Doctor Sleep spin-off. Which probably won't come out for a while. I still have to finish this story, and then watch Doctor Sleep in November. Just know there's a story in the works. Of course Gwen will be involved, as well as her daughter...that's right...I wrote that...HER DAUGHTER. HA. Not much of a spoiler if you follow me on Tumblr. If you do follow me you would also know she's not the only kid *cough cough there's more cough cough*
Wow, that's a long ass author's note. One more thing though...I also do not own the song used in this chapter. Now enjoy!
"This is part of what a family is about, not just love. It's knowing that your family will be there watching out for you. Nothing else will give you that. Not money. Not fame. Not work." ― Mitch Albom, Tuesdays with Morrie
Chapter 29: A family emergency
Gwen ended up booking a flight to Bangor, Maine since it was the closest to the town of Derry. She was surprised but also glad the next flight to Bangor was scheduled to leave London in the next eight hours. In her mind though eight hours seemed like such a short amount of time. Especially since she was returning to her hometown. Her hometown that she hadn't been to in years. Hence why she was hurriedly packing as if there was no tomorrow. For all she knew there could be no tomorrow.
Gwen was all over the place as she was practically throwing her clothes into her suitcase. She needed to get ready now. The forty-two year old woman didn't care how disorderly she looked...even in front of her personal assistant.
Jeanne Grant had practically raced to her boss' apartment in Brighton from London after she called her saying she was leaving to Derry, Maine of all places. The call had been so random and fast that Jeanne knew she needed to get Gwen's apartment as soon as possible. Now she was watching her boss pack, trying to understand what the hell was going on.
Jeanne watched with furrowed eyebrows as Gwen opened and closed one of her clothing drawers. The auburn haired woman found it odd how she was packing a new suitcase despite already having a packed suitcase from her last trip. Jeanne reasoned that maybe the clothes she had taken to Los Angeles didn't match the occasion she was going to Maine for. Except that reason quickly left with how all over the damn place Gwen was and also because of the clothes she was packing. None of them went together, meaning she was packing clothes that were both for winter and summer. That didn't sit well with Jeanne. The need to help Gwen organize her clothing properly almost won over, but she instead asked something she wanted (well, needed) to know.
"But what about the meet and greet you're supposed to do?"
Gwen's answer was short and it was obvious that her attention was elsewhere. "I can't do it." She answered after throwing another pair of jeans into her suitcase.
"And the Las Vegas performance? Will you be back in time for that?" Jeanne asked, and she only grew more impatient with Gwen's lack of an answer. The dark haired woman was now inside her closet taking clothes off from her hangers. Jeanne let out a sigh. "Gwen." She stressed out, causing the forty-two year old woman to finally answer. Her this time reply wasn't in the same distracted tone from before.
"I don't know! Okay?" Gwen shouted, sparing Jeanne a look from inside her closet.
Her "little" outburst didn't bother Jeanne in the slightest. She'd witnessed way worse. Not directed onto her but to other people who either annoyed Gwen, or people she just didn't plain like. The most recent one being with that rude paparazzi guy that had followed them around in Los Angeles the first few hours they arrived in the city. The paparazzi guy kept badgering Gwen with personal questions. The older woman had been doing fine with ignoring his questions (questions that were very intrusive), until he had brought up her brother Richie. The guy had said, "Your brother isn't even that funny." Jeanne remembered the look of anger that appeared on Gwen's face when she heard the guy say that, and her reply that came soon after.
"Fuck you, you asshat. What do you know about being funny? You're just some paparazzi guy. Why don't you do all of us a favor and shove that camera down your throat until you're shitting it out."
The guy stopped following them after that. Jeanne knew the annoyance from all the questions before the comment about her brother played a role in her outburst, but nonetheless the outburst was just more evidence that showed how much she cared for her bother. Except as much as Jeanne found the memory of Gwen cussing out the paparazzi guy to be amusing (and even heartwarming), she was still bothered. The memory, however, had nothing to do with that. She was bothered by the lack of detailed answers she was receiving with what was currently happening. And there was a reason for that. "What am I supposed to tell Cynthia?"
Gwen took a deep breath before answering her again. She walked out of her closet with a bunch of blouses and jackets in hand. "Tell her that I have an emergency." She said as she threw all the clothes she was carrying into her suitcase. Gwen grew quiet before she found her voice again. Her dark eyes connected with Jeanne's own eyes. "Actually say it's a family emergency." She hurriedly told her. She didn't feel bad for saying that (or anything close to guilt) because it wasn't technically a lie. In her mind it was the truth. Gwen considered the Losers to be her family...and Richie would be there and he was her family by blood.
A family you forgot and you've been ignoring.
The negative thought entered Gwen's head. She knew that last part was aimed more towards Richie and that left her feeling quite shitty. She did her absolute best to keep it together.
"I'm going to my hometown." Gwen spoke evenly as she stared at Jeanne. Her stare did not lower with what she said next. "I'm needed there."
That made Jeanne frown, and she looked at the older woman with utter confusion. "Your mother doesn't even live in Derry anymore." The auburn hair woman pointed out. "Your brother's in Los Angeles, and from you told me before you have no ties to that town. Why are you going?"
What Jeanne said wasn't a lie. Gwen had told her all that when she started working for her. As her personal assistant Jeanne needed to know pretty much everything about Gwen, and that included her background. Gwen told her everything...well, almost everything. For obvious reasons somethings were not said because either Gwen didn't want to say anything or because she simply forgot. However, Gwen really thought it was the truth when she told Jeanne she didn't have any ties to her hometown. Now she knew that it hadn't been.
"Well, I was wrong because I do have some ties there." Gwen by now was packing again. She opened another one of her clothing drawers and pulled out a bunch of socks, bras, and pairs of underwear. "I have to go. I can't explain it, not to you." Gwen gave her a rushed apologetic look. She spoke calmly now. "I'm sorry. But believe me when I say I have to go."
Jeanne now looked at Gwen as if had completely lost it. It didn't take her outburst to get her to think this way. Nor was it the sight of her holding a bunch of socks in one hand and bras and pairs of underwear in the other hand. Actually, if it weren't for the intense moment Jeanne might have found that sight to be comical. But no, the reason why she was staring at Gwen as if she had lost it was because of the way she answered so calmly right now. She had been frantic with all her movements not that long ago and now she she wasn't? Perhaps it was her ADHD getting the better of her...but Jeanne found herself disregarding that thought. She focused on another thought. Maybe Gwen had lost it...for real.
The auburn haired woman never told her this (and never would) but she often wondered if Gwen had more than just depression and ADHD. Sometimes she wondered if she was Bipolar too. Jeanne knew all about Bipolar Disorder because her cousin Wendy was diagnosed with the disorder. Her cousin suffered through manic episodes before finally being diagnosed by a doctor. Luckily the medication she was now taking helped out but Jeanne had witnessed a few of those manic episodes and she couldn't help but compare Gwen's current actions as one going through a manic episode. Just like she thought so in the past for different situations. She'd been working for Gwen for a while now she'd witnessed a lot, and by a lot she meant she had witnessed crying, yelling, laughing, partying, drinking, the random guys Gwen got with, and Gwen not wanting to get out of bed because she wasn't feeling good with herself. Not to mention the Vicodin problem Gwen had gone through.
There'd been many times when Jeanne called Gwen out. For instance as she told Gwen before, she wasn't a babysitter...but it sure felt like she was. Not that Jeanne hated watching over her...she did care for her. In a way Gwen was like a sibling to her. The sibling she never got to have. Jeanne was an only child and her parents divorced when she was eight years old. Neither of them had anymore more kids when they remarried. So her childhood was pretty lonely with the exception of her cousins, especially her cousin Wendy. Gwen actually reminded her of Wendy. The auburn haired woman didn't know if that was necessarily good or bad all things considered. However, with that reasoning Jeanne figured that was why she didn't mind all the shit she had to do for Gwen, because deep down she enjoyed helping her. That didn't mean she liked watching Gwen suffer because when she suffered it was usually during her lowest moments, and once again those could be seen as her having a manic episode. Except as far as Jeanne was made aware of the singer wasn't Bipolar. Still, Jeanne couldn't help but wonder.
"Is this serious?" Jeanne now asked, sounding concerned. She saw how Gwen hurriedly stuffed her undergarments into her suitcase. Not even the hilarity of that sight got her voice to stop trembling with what she asked next. Which was out of character because Jeanne was usually pretty well composed. That only showed how worried she was for the Tozier woman. "Like life and death serious?"
"I don't know." Gwen answered once again, only this time it was more grimly. "I guess I won't know until I get there."
Jeanne's eyes widened. "Shit, Gwen. You're not in some kind of illegal trouble are you? If you are―"
Gwen shook her head, interrupting the auburn haired woman. "No, it's not like that, I swear." She gave her an earnest look. "Jeanne, I just have to go."
Jeanne silently stared at her. She still wanted to keep asking questions, wanted to know exactly what was going on. She had a right to know considering how close Gwen and her were. They had built a friendship over the years together and Jeanne liked to think that meant something meaningful. However, deep down she knew she wouldn't get the exact answers she wanted.
As Gwen just told her she wouldn't know how serious the situation was until she got to her hometown. All Jeanne knew was that whatever ties she had at her hometown must be very important if it had her boss frantically getting ready to leave. At least Gwen reassured her it wasn't anything illegal. Knowing that made the concern she had for her boss lower a little. Although it wasn't fully gone, Jeanne knew the concern that was there wasn't enough to cause her any upcoming sleepless nights. A few more seconds of silence passed and before Jeanne knew it she was back to her usual cool-headed self. "You know Cynthia isn't going to be happy about this."
"I'll deal with her when the time comes."
Yet another thing that had her lowering the concern she was feeling. Jeanne let out a sigh. Not that all of that was out of the way, she was no longer able to contain the need to ask if she could help with packing her clothes, correctly that is. "Do you at least want me to help you pack? You're all over the place with your wardrobe."
Gwen looked at her suitcase that was on her bed and her eyes widened, dumbfounded by what she saw. The inside of her suitcase was a complete mess. She was now realizing just how unorganized her packing had been. A sheepish expression appeared when she looked at Jeanne again. "Shit, I didn't even notice."
Jeanne walked closer to where her suitcase was. "If you're going to Maine take clothes that fit the weather over there." She finished saying as she pulled out two sweaters Gwen had packed. "It's summer time right now, so you won't need these."
Gwen right away set the sweaters to the side. She did the same with a few jackets that were definitely more for the winter time. Gwen wanted to face palm herself for even packing those in the first place.
Jeanne didn't grab the next articles of clothing, rather just pointed to them. "I also think you over did it with the socks, bras, and pairs of underwear."
Now that was embarrassing. She really did overdue it with her undergarments. Gwen tried her best to not let that embarrassment show. She shrugged her shoulders. "Well, I don't know how long I'm gonna be gone."
The reminder that Gwen didn't know just when she was returning made Jeanne frown. She quickly got rid of the frown when she saw Gwen start to notice. "Let's just keep it simple then." She suggested, trying to remain helpful. "Take a few blouses, jeans, and appropriate summer jackets. For shoe wear I say take a pair or two. Besides if you run out of anything you can always purchase stuff over there. Same could be said about your undergarments...but I believe you won't have any issues there."
Jeanne added that last part with a smile and she was relieved when Gwen's features somewhat softened with the low laugh she released.
"You know what..." Gwen suddenly drawled making Jeanne narrow her gaze as she patiently waited to hear what she had to say. "I'm okay now. I can handle packing. Can you actually do me a favor and go get a refill for my prescriptions, please?" Gwen asked her. "I can't leave without them."
The Tozier woman knew that leaving without her antidepressant and her ADHD pills would not be a good thing. She had no idea how long she was going to be gone and she didn't want to fall down a hole of nothingness or get way too hyperactive while she with her old friends. Gwen needed her antidepressants (which was Prozac because it didn't bother her ADHD) and her ADHD pills.
Although she wanted to continue helping her pack, Jeanne knew getting her prescriptions was way more important. Plus she had faith now that Gwen was well enough to pack accordingly for her trip. She nodded her head. "Alright, I'll be right back."
"Jeanne?" Gwen called out before the younger woman stepped out of her bedroom.
Jeanne turned around to look at her. "Yes?"
"Thank you." Gwen softly told her. She'd thanked her a bunch of times before in the past but this time it felt different. Her thank you sounded way more profound. Her personal assistant really was a good person for always being there for her. Especially now when she was being extremely weird with her sudden trip to her hometown.
Jeanne didn't up saying anything to Gwen. She instead gave have another nod, with her lips going upwards in the slightest way before finally making her way out.
Gwen didn't move from where she was standing until she heard the front door of her apartment open and then close. She'd get to packing (as she told Jeanne) but first she wanted to do something else. Well, there were two things she wanted to do now that she was alone. The first was to (finally) call her brother back. Despite the massive nerves she had festering inside of her she knew that it was time for her to do so. It seemed that Mike's call was the push she'd been needing this whole time. Soon enough she was going to see her brother in person. She hadn't seen him since their argument. Gwen hoped more good would come out of the call she was about to make.
Gwen reached for her cellphone that was on her bedside counter and without letting any negative thoughts stop her from making the call (as they've done in the past), she speed dialed her brother's number. She then went to sit on the edge of her bed, her stomach filled with nerves. Those nerves didn't go away when the call went to her brother's voicemail. Gwen was not at all surprised. She was most definitely sad but not surprised. After all she'd been doing the exact same thing for quite some time now.
A taste of your own medicine, Gwen thought somberly. Despite her brother not answering her call, she listened to her brother's voicemail with a sad smile. It was the type of sad smile that if anyone else where to see they'd think it was more of a grimace.
"You've reached the voicemail of Richie Tozier. I'm not here right now because I have a life. So leave me a message and I'll get back to you as soon as possible. Well, maybe, I don't know. Like I said, I have a life. Bye!"
Gwen waited until the beep ended before she started speaking.
"Usually I'm the one who doesn't pick up. Now I'm leaving a voicemail. Funny, huh?" Gwen paused and then awkwardly cleared her throat. "Okay, not funny." She became serious, trying her best to keep her voice steady. "Richie, Mike called me. But you already know that because you gave him my number. But...listen, I'm going to Derry. So, I'll be seeing you and the others real soon." As much as she tried to keep her composure, it ended up faltering with what she said next. "I know that we're not in the best of terms right now, and that's my fault, but I...I just don't want us not to yell once we see each other." Her voice lowered, the guilt she had was coming out to the surface. "Not that I don't deserve it because I do. But can that wait until it's just the two of us? For the sake of the others, okay? Once we're alone you can unleash hell on me if you want. I won't say anything this time. I shouldn't even have said anything last time. And speaking of last time, what I said to you...I...I wish I could take it back. I really do." Gwen hadn't realized she had been crying until her tears reached the bottom of her cheeks. She quickly used her free hand to wipe those tears away. "Anyways..." Gwen said, once she was well enough to speak again. "I'll see you soon, little brother. Love you."
Gwen set aside her cellphone back on her bedside counter once she ended the call. Her face was clean from her tears but she was able to feel how her eyes were still watery. The Tozier woman didn't feel right crying. She was the one who'd been practically ignoring her brother. Richie had every right to treat her the same way she'd been treating him.
There was no denying it still hurt. That made Gwen feel worse because that's exactly how her brother felt when she had been ignoring him.
You deserve the silent treatment he's giving you, you piece of shit, Gwen thought and she didn't find herself turning away from the thought.
Not wanting to let her tears escape (tears that she thought were not real enough to be released), Gwen focused onto the second thing she wanted to do. She got up and went to her closet. Mike's call made her think about a certain small wooden box she had in there. It was a box she hadn't opened in years. Gwen had no idea why she even kept the box...but she had. Before Mike's call she never gave it much thought. It was just storage, hidden away in her closet, never seeing the light of day. Until today that is.
It didn't take long for Gwen to find the small wooden box. Said item had been sitting on the top shelf of her closet, huddled with other forgotten items up there. Dust had been covering the small wooden box causing Gwen to sneeze a few times. After giving it a good clean, Gwen walked back to sit on the edge of her bed with the small wooden box on her lap. She stared intently at the item before she just gave up with the staring and opened it.
Honestly, because it had been so long since she'd even opened the box, Gwen forgot what exactly was inside of it. Her lips, however, twitched upwards when she caught sight of a few photos. They were family photos. Gwen began looking through them, feeling quite nostalgic. There weren't baby photos or anything like that. They were photos that were already well into her teens, as well as Richie's. Photos during the holidays, and special events. When she looked at the photos, Gwen was even able to remember the days that they took place.
One photo in particular stood out more than the others. It was one with her mother, father, brother, and her. They were all dressed up quite nicely, and they were standing outside in front of some beautiful looking fountain. Gwen right away knew where that photo had taken place. It was during the summer of 1991. A year before she graduated high school and left for college.
Her family and her had gone to one of her mother's close friend's weddings and it was at some fancy smancy restaurant in Bar Harbor. Gwen had made a face when she saw the awful dress her younger self was wearing in the photo. Yikes, peach was not her color. She remembered how her mother made her wear that dress just as she made Richie's wear that ridiculous teal suit he had on. Her father, on the other hand, looked handsome, and her mother was quite beautiful in the photo. That wasn't much of a shock though. Gwen had always thought that her mother was more on the glamorous side. Unlike Gwen, and even Richie...and they made that known in the photo. Hence why Gwen found herself having such fondness for the photo.
In the photo her mother and father were looking right at the camera, smiling those charming smiles of theirs. While Richie and her were not. In the photo one was able to see how Richie had on an expression that looked as if he were about to sneeze. Gwen remembered he hadn't actually sneezed. Right as the camera man had been counting down from three, Richie was able to get Gwen's attention and had made that face for her. Gwen lost it and let out a loud laugh, eyes closed with her head thrown back. Which is exactly what the photo captured.
Needless to say Maggie hadn't been happy with their behavior. After giving a short lecture on acting proper for the camera, she was able to convince the camera man for another redo. She got her redo and the perfect photo she wanted...but Gwen had kept the copy of the first photo. And that was thanks to her father. Looking at the photo again, Gwen was able to remember an earlier memory from that same day.
...
"Dad, this the third time you've gone down this street." Gwen told her father after letting out a sigh.
The trio that included Gwen, Richie, and Wentworth were currently inside Wenthworth's car. Gwen was sitting in the back passenger seat, while her dad sat in the driver's seat and Richie was in the front passenger seat. Gwen had let him ride shotgun because she knew how very unhappy he was with the teal suit their mother had made him wear.
Despite not liking her own outfit, Gwen decided to forget her own dislike and instead focused on making the day a little less shitty for her brother. Even if it was with a small gesture. That meant giving up the front passenger seat for him, something that he'd been happy about and had thanked Gwen.
For the past twenty minutes or so though they'd been trying to find the damn location on where the weddings guests were supposed to meet with the bride and groom for pictures. Maggie had told Gwen, her brother, and father that was she going to meet them there and had written them directions on where to go. However, her mother wrote the directions down in cursive. Now usually her mother nice hand writing but cursive was never really her style.
"The directions your mother gave me said to turn left on this light." Wentworth replied as he kept his eyes on the road. Gwen from the back was able to see him holding said paper with the directions in one hand. "I think..." He quietly added that last part.
"Maybe we're stuck in some endless time loop, like in the Twilight Zone." Richie lightheartedly added, chuckling. Gwen able to tell he said that as a way to lessen the frustration her dad was releasing from being lost.
Right after he said this, Wentworth pulled the car over to the side of the road. Gwen and Richie now had on bemused expressions. Both Tozier siblings were able to see how intently their father was looking at the paper with the directions.
"Can you read this?" Wentworth suddenly asked as he showed the paper to Richie.
Richie adjusted his glasses, took one look at the paper, and then shrugged his shoulders. "No. Gwen?"
Gwen grabbed the paper and stared at it...really stared at it. "Is this even English?" She finally said, and gave the paper back to Richie who then gave it to Wentworth.
"Screw this." Wentworth muttered before crumpling up the paper and throwing it on the car floor. "I saw a burger place over there." He told his kids as he gave a quick glance behind him. "You guys up for some burgers?"
Richie's eyes behind his glasses widened more with excitement. "Seriously?"
"Wait, what about mom?" Gwen asked, slightly nervous with how her mother would react. "She'll be pissed that we went to eat instead of meeting up with her and the others to take pictures."
Wentworth waved off her concern so nonchalantly that it blew Gwen away.
"Don't worry, I'll handle her." Wentworth told his daughter. "Besides, I'm starving and I can not wait until the reception to eat. Can you?"
Gwen didn't have to take long to think about that. No, she couldn't. She was pretty hungry herself. Plus she really wasn't looking forward to the fancy meal they were going to get at the wedding reception. She'd rather eat something simple. "Can we get milkshakes too?" Gwen found herself asking her dad. She was hoping that he'd say yes...and he did.
"Sure."
Richie cheered. "This so far is the best wedding I've ever been to. Well, it'd be better if I wasn't wearing this ridiculous suit, but we're getting burgers and milkshakes...so, yay!"
Wentworth smiled at his son. He glanced at his review mirror and made eye contact with his daughter. In those brief seconds of eye contact he gave her a smile as well.
Gwen smiled back.
...
Gwen put the photo inside the small wooden box again. She remembered how funny it had been walking inside that burger joint while they were all dressed up so nicely. She remembered the stares they received from the workers and customers and how much she didn't care. She remembered how happy Richie was to get his burger and milkshake despite the suit he had on. She remembered how happy she was too. Happy because she was spending time with not only her brother, but also her father...her father who usually liked spending time alone, away from Richie and her. Not in that moment though. In that moment her father was not his usual hermit crab self.
They certainly had a lot more fun in that burger joint than at the wedding reception.
Too lost in her thoughts, the balance Gwen had on the small wooden box on her lap faltered. She winced when it fell to the floor. The photos that had been inside were now all over the floor. Gwen began to pick up the photos and right when she picked up the last photo, something shiny caught her attention. It was a ring, a diamond ring. Gwen gently took hold of the ring, and stared at the piece of jewelry with an awed and confused expression. Was this in the box? It had to have been because it wasn't there on the floor before. Despite her bedroom being a current clothes disaster zone, Gwen knew how to keep her jewelry organized. All the jewelry pieces she did own were kept in safe places. Not that she owned a lot but with the amount she had she was able to recognize all her pieces. Which made this find really usual. Gwen did not recognize the diamond ring, at least not right away. She concluded that the ring must have came out hiding when her small wooden box fell.
However, Gwen had no idea where she'd got the ring from. She looked at it, trying her best to remember anything about it. Except no memory came whatsoever. Gwen frowned.
What the...?
The ring must have had some important backstory because the moment she took hold of it something warm spread through her. Her heartbeat went berserk and the tips of her ears and her cheeks became warm. She was flushed, like really flushed. Gwen hardly every got that much flushed anymore. If there was no meaning to the ring why did she have that reaction? She tried so hard to remember but her mind was blank. Just as it had been blank when it came her friends. The Losers.
Gwen's eyes widened. Did the ring have something to do with the Losers? Did it? Gwen felt like crying out from frustration. She hated not being able to remember them fully. She hated herself for even forgetting them in the first place. It caused her such great distress. Why was she able to remember somethings from her childhood but not everything? Why couldn't she remember the good memories she had with the Losers? She knew there had to have been good memories with them...they were her friends after all. Her best friends. However, she had a feeling there was also bad memories...and even though she wanted to remember everything, Gwen couldn't help but be afraid of those bad memories that were probably there...waiting to be remembered by her.
Gwen looked at the ring she had in her hand. Despite her emotions being all over the place, she stared a the ring with a soft expression. Just as she was about to try on the ring, her cellphone vibrating caught her attention. Gwen immediately went to her bedside counter and looked at the caller ID.
It was her brother.
Gwen took a deep breath, preparing herself. The ring was still in her hand (the same hand that had the cut on her palm) as she answered the call. She took a seat on her bed again knowing standing would just add to her nerves.
There was silence before Gwen finally said something. "Richie?" She called out, surprised her voice didn't waver.
"You know there are a lot of things I want to say to you right now." Her brother spoke, skipping pleasantries. Once again she wasn't surprised. She wasn't expecting an actual hello from him. Not after all the missed calls and gathered voicemails.
Gwen felt her stomach twist. She enclosed the ring that was in her hand and she had no idea why, but that gave her the strength to find her voice again. "There's a lot things I want to say to you to." I'm sorry being the main one. "But, uh, I can't seem to find the words to put a sentence together." Gwen replied in a slightly whimsical way.
"You just did." Richie simply told her.
Gwen let out a sigh. "You know what I mean."
There was a pause, and then Richie spoke again. "You and I have a lot to talk about." He said, sounding downright serious.
Her younger brother was in many ways still quite the jokester. However, Gwen had witnessed a more serious side to Richie over the years. Despite that, it was still so odd hearing her brother sound so serious. She knew better than to play it off whenever Richie was serious though. And besides...he was right.
"I know we do." Gwen cleared her throat. "And we will. But can we call a momentary truce, please?" She asked her brother. "At least when in front of the others. Like I said, you can unleash hell on me if you want once it's just the two of us. Yell at me all you want. It's just that...our personal problems shouldn't affect them. I have a feeling this get together is already going to be intense enough."
"Alright." Richie finally said.
"Okay." Gwen quietly answered.
"I don't want to yell at you." Richie suddenly said causing Gwen to furrow her eyebrows. His tone sounded somewhat sheepish.
"What?"
"What you said about me yelling at you, I don't want to do that."
"You don't?" Gwen breathed out, her voice shaking a bit. When her brother spoke again his voice was much softer, kinder even. For a moment there, Gwen thought it was a younger Richie she was speaking to.
"I am agitated, there's no denying that...but more than anything I just wanna see you." Richie let out a sigh. "Like I said, I miss you."
Hearing her brother say that he misses her (again) made Gwen want to cry...but she stopped herself. She needed a few seconds of silence to compose herself. "I miss you too." She felt somewhat better after saying that but in her mind she still thought she deserved to get yelled at by him. She also knew nothing would truly be resolved between them until she properly apologized to him...but that needed to be done in person, not through the phone.
"But we will have to talk things out." Richie added, his even tone returning. "No matter how much of a sappy moment it's gonna be."
"It'll be one those Hallmark family card moments, huh?" Gwen blurted out without thinking.
"What?" Richie questioned, and Gwen right away imagined the puzzled expression he must have had on. "Hallmark family card moments...why did you say that?"
Gwen fumbled and she had to give the ring in her hand another squeeze before she found her voice again. "I don't know...it just felt like the right thing to say. Is that...is that something I used to say, as a kid?"
Richie was quiet for a few seconds there. "I think so. I don't really remember."
"It's so weird, Richie." Gwen began saying, opening up to her brother. "Ever since Mike called, I've been trying to remember things from my childhood but I can't. Not everything. Not when comes to you and the others...not when we were kids." Gwen slowly inhaled and then exhaled. "Are you having the same problem?"
"Yeah, I am." Richie solemnly admitted. "I can't seem to remember anything during the summer of 1989. I mean, I have little pieces of information in my head, but not enough for a full memory."
"Yes, exactly! The summer of 1989! " Gwen exclaimed, extremely relieved that her brother was able to understand. "Everything's so foggy...and I don't know why."
"Maybe we'll remember better once everyone's together." Richie suggested but Gwen could tell he wasn't so sure about that by his tone.
Rather than letting her negative thoughts get to her, Gwen tried to remain optimistic. "Yeah, once we're together maybe things will clear up. With all eight of us there."
"Lucky eight." Richie said causing Gwen to frown a little.
"I thought the saying is the lucky seven?"
"There's eight of us...so, we're the lucky eight." Richie earnestly told her. Gwen couldn't help but smile a little. Her smile didn't last long though.
"Richie?" Gwen quietly said. She had said his name so quietly she worried he hadn't heard her...but he did.
"Yeah?"
"I..." Love you, little brother is what Gwen wanted to say because she wanted him to know she still cared. However, she instead said..."I'll see you in Derry." There was another pause, and then Richie ended up saying the same thing in a tone that was more towards discontent before he hung up. Gwen felt like such an idiot. She wasn't big on the word love but this was her brother she was talking to. Her family. She said she loved her brother when leaving a voicemail, why couldn't she say it again now that she was actually talking to him?
Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. You can say I miss you to him but not I love you? You only make things harder on yourself.
At least the call wasn't a total bust. Richie and her had agreed on a momentary truce...at least when in front of the others. So...that was something. They were going to have to talk things out though. Which was something Gwen was dreading, no matter how much it needed to be done.
After she let out a sigh, and giving her hand another squeeze, Gwen suddenly remembered the ring she had inside her hand. The Tozier woman stared at the ring again. This time there was nothing from stopping her from trying it on. So that's what she did. Without properly thinking, Gwen put the ring on her fourth finger that was on her left hand. The ring fit perfectly. She smiled but then her smile faltered a bit with what happened next.
It was the strangest thing but not long after she put on the ring a flash of light brown eyes and curly hair entered her mind. Gwen gasped a little. Was that...was that a memory?
If it was a memory then it was very vague. How many people did she know that had light brown eyes and curly hair? A lot. Except these particular pair of light brown eyes seemed familiar. Real familiar. The curly hair too. It then dawned on Gwen that Stan had light brown eyes and his hair was really curly as a kid. Did he have something to do with the ring? Gwen felt as if her heart rate was speeding up. Had he given her the ring?
Gwen found herself hoping that he did. She decided to keep the ring on, in hopes that she would be able to remember more of her childhood...remember more of Stan.
Now that she had done those two things, Gwen focused on her packing again. Except before doing so, Gwen put her small wooden box that had photos of just a small portion of her youth on top her bedside counter. She no longer wanted to hide those memories she did have the fortune of remembering. She then connected her Spotify that was on her cellphone to her Amazon Echo that was in her bedroom.
Perhaps listening to music would keep her calm. Gwen though had her music playlist on shuffle play, so she didn't even look at the song that was about to play as she went back to her suitcase.
He said to lose my life or lose my love
That's the nightmare I've been running from
So let me hold you in my arms a while
I was always careless as a child
The lyrics finally hit her just as she was taking out the wrong set of clothes from her suitcase. Gwen had frozen in pace, her eyes slightly wide. She'd listened to that song by the White Lies a number of times in the past but never had it made her feel as if she were about to be sick to her stomach. Her breathing was picking up, and she felt a chill go down her back. The song kept going but the next lyrics made the dread that was already growing inside of her triple.
Let's grow old together and die at the same time
The lyrics were about to repeat but Gwen hurriedly stopped the song from playing.
With her right hand, Gwen reached for the ring she was wearing. The feeling of the cool diamond made her breathing even out, calming her down somewhat. Despite calming down, the Tozier woman had a feeling that things were just going to get weirder from here on out.
And how right she was about that feeling.
A/N: Ahh, I hope this was a good enough chapter for you guys. I'll admit I wanted to laugh when I was writing the part when Gwen was packing and she's being all frantic and serious telling Jeanne she has to go even though she has her bras and pairs of underwear in her hand XD It was just such as Gwen Tozier thing that I had to include it despite how serious the scene was supposed to be. You guys are probably going to see a lot of that within the story. Lighthearted/humor like moments as the story continues. I mean you gotta have some sort of comedy when it comes to Gwen, and especially once she reunites with Richie and the others. Don't let that fool you though, the angst will still be there.
Just a fun fact. That whole flashback scene with Wentworth, Gwen, and Richie was based off an experience I had as a kid. For one my cousin's weddings my second older brother, his kids, and me had trouble finding the location to take pictures with the bride and groom. After a while we just gave up and my older brother took us to Mcdonald's to go eat. It was pretty funny since we were all dressed up in our formal wear. Still, that's such a good memory and I wanted to include that in this story. That's just one of the many flashbacks Gwen is going to have. Some of course won't be as fun to remember.