Chapter 6- There You Are

There was something that was almost fun about decorating a house instead of an apartment. Since she had first moved out on her own, she had always had tiny spaces to decorate, and it had always been all about functionality. Really, if she was being honest, she wasn't sure she really had a sense of style when it came to her homes. But now she had a two bedroom house with a cute little living room with a fireplace and a newly renovated kitchen that she actually loved. The house was older, apparently one of the older homes in Oakbrook Falls, but the newest owners had done an amazing job renovating. They were renting out the home for now, but they had told her there was a chance they would sell it and Meredith was really trying not to think about that right now.

She had been in Oakbrook Falls for two weeks now, and she was falling madly in love with the little life she was building and the house she was decorating. Lexie and Hillary had come into town for the first few days but now the rest of it was all up to her. The living room felt warm and comfortable, and she really did like her new bedroom. It had her furniture from her apartment but it felt different somehow. She couldn't really put it into words, but she really was starting to feel at home in the little house, even if it wasn't completely done. She had ordered a lot of things from Amazon and it was all finally starting to get here, which meant she could focus on putting the finishing touches on the place she had decided would be home for at least the next few months.

The second bedroom was at the far end of the hallway, facing a fenced in backyard, and she wasn't sure what to do with it yet. If she stayed here after the baby came, then it would have to be a nursery, at least until she went back to Manhattan. It was a choice she was going to have to make at some point, but right now she was just enjoying setting up her own place to live. Today was all about setting up her bathroom and finishing off her kitchen and then probably getting started on the piece she had been assigned by a small online outlet that celebrated women. It wasn't exactly what she had dreamed of writing while she was here, but she was getting paid and a little bit of extra money wasn't a bad thing.

After she finished her house, she needed to order maternity clothes, if only because the only thing she could really wear right now was leggings and oversized sweaters, which she didn't actually hate. She didn't know a lot about small towns, but she did know that they would probably gossip about the pregnant single woman who had just rented a house and she wasn't ready to talk about it yet. She really didn't go out very much and when she did, it was usually to run to get something quick. She kept telling herself it was just because she was trying to build up her house first, but she was twenty-one weeks pregnant and she wasn't sure how well her sweaters were going to hide it right now. She knew at some point she would have to be more open about it, she wasn't stupid, but she just…she wasn't actually sure what it mattered if the town knew but she wasn't ready.

The little butterfly wings were getting stronger every day, still not actual kicks, but still insistent enough that she couldn't really ignore that her baby was really growing inside her. She was planning on going to Syracuse next week for her first appointment since her first one and she was pretty sure they were going to lecture her for being the worst mom ever. She really didn't want them to think that, not at all, but this was all so scary. She was pregnant, she was going to be a single mom, and while she still had a lot to figure out, she was really trying to be better. She was still terrified, but the little butterfly wings were sometimes really soothing. She was pretty sure it meant she was doing a good job, even if it wasn't great.

She grabbed the shower caddy she had ordered from Amazon and walked back to her bathroom, humming slightly under her breath. Once she was done with the house set up, she would feel more at home and things would start to settle into place. She loved how peaceful Oakbrook Falls was, and she didn't think she would ever get tired of the waterfalls. Right now, every inch of the town was decorated for Halloween and it all just seemed so…perfect somehow. She climbed up onto the edge the tub, trying to balance herself against the wall as she leaned towards the shower head to hang up the caddy. She almost had it, it was so close, but her head suddenly spun and before she could pull back, she felt herself falling as her hands flailed out. The fall probably only took a couple seconds, but it felt like it took an eternity before she sat up slowly in the tub, vaguely aware of her throbbing wrist and smarting ankle. "Crap," she breathed as she started to stand, balancing herself against the wall. 'Crap. Crap…oh god…" She whispered as her hand fell to her curved stomach, where she could feel tiny butterfly wings fluttering intensely.

She had fallen. She had actually fallen and she didn't know a lot about pregnancy but she knew something like this could be really bad. She had no idea if she had actually hit her stomach or if that even mattered but she had actually fallen and suddenly the pain in her ankle didn't matter. "Shit," she whimpered as she climbed out of the tub and reached for her phone. Everything in her told her to call 911 but she wasn't in New York and the nearest hospital was an hour away. But she had fallen and she had a tiny baby inside her who moved and now something could be wrong and it would be her fault. "Fuck," she gasped, cradling her tiny bump for a second. There was another few flutters and maybe it was in her head but she really wondered if they were weaker somehow. "Please be okay," she whispered. "Please please be okay."

There was a doctor in town, she knew that. She hadn't seen him yet, but she knew there was a doctor in town and his office wasn't very far from her new house. He probably wasn't an OBGYN, but maybe he could at least call someone in an emergency if something was wrong, or at least tell her if anything was wrong. She grabbed her wallet and began limping out of her house and then down the street, trying to just keep breathing. It had to be okay. Her whole life had been turned upside down by this pregnancy and she really hadn't been sure she had wanted it but it was starting to feel like a good thing. She was starting to get used to her growing belly and to the little flutters, and she was actually starting to think of the curve as a real baby. So it just had to be okay because she could already feel the panic and sadness growing inside her as she fought through the pain in her ankle.

It was going to be okay. She had to believe that one stupid mistake wouldn't ruin something actually reasonably good in her life. Nothing about the pregnancy or the baby had seemed good at first but it was and she had to believe life wouldn't fuck her over like this. She was unemployed and unemployable and she didn't want to lose her baby just because she had been stupid enough to try to hang up a shower caddy. She hadn't even thought about falling or losing her balance and now it was….she shook her head, struggling to take a deep breath as she tried to limp faster towards the Oakbrook Falls Medical Center.

It wasn't a huge building and she wasn't even sure it should be called a medical center, but it was the best she had and she just had to get seen by a doctor. There were a ton of people in the waiting room, a few kids playing with toys in a giant toy box, and Meredith took a deep breath as she walked towards the receptionist desk. "Good morning," the receptionist smiled at her. "Did you make an appointment?"

"No," Meredith swallowed heavily as she looked around the busy waiting room. "But I need to see the doctor."

"If you want to sign in here, I can put you on the walk in appointment list," the receptionist smiled as she tapped a sign in sheet.

"No," she repeated. "I…I fell in the shower and I really need to see the doctor."

"Did you hit your head?" The receptionist asked as she typed into her computer. "Blurred vision, vomiting…"

"I didn't…I'm pregnant," Meredith whispered. "I'm pregnant and I fell in the shower and I need to see a doctor, please."

"Oh…" the receptionist paused as she looked up at Meredith. "How far along are you?"

"Twenty-one weeks," she answered.

"Okay," the receptionist stood up quickly. "Stay right there and I'll be right back with Patty, our head nurse."

"Okay," Meredith whispered, shifting her weight slightly from her ankle. Her wrist was killing her too but all she could think about was the little butterfly wings that she hadn't felt in a few minutes. It made her eyes burn and she took a slow breath just as the office door opened and a tall, dark-skinned woman came out in bright pink scrubs.

"Hi, honey, I'm Patty," the nurse came forward to shake her hand. "What's your name?"

"Meredith," she answered, her voice shaking slightly. "Meredith Grey."

"And you're twenty-one weeks pregnant?" Patty asked as Meredith nodded in confirmation. "You fell in the shower? When?"

"Just a few minutes ago," Meredith whispered. "I was trying to hang up my shower caddy and I…I don't know…I think I got dizzy and I fell."

"Okay," Patty nodded as she rubbed Meredith's arm. "Come on back and let's take a look at you and baby to make sure you're both okay."

"Patty," a woman sitting by the door groaned as the nurse grabbed Meredith's arm to lead her back to the exam area, "I've been waiting for two hours and I really would like to see Dr. Shepherd today."

"Pamela, if you needed to see the doctor, that would be one thing," Patty stated, "but thinking you take the place of an emergency when you just want to flirt with him is a whole other. You know very well he won't close the office until he's seen everyone so you can just be patient."

"I…sorry," Meredith whispered to the nurse. "I didn't know how busy you guys would be and I just…I couldn't call 911."

"There is nothing to apologize for," Patty shook her head. "Do we need to call your husband?"

"I…I don't have a husband," she whispered.

"Boyfriend?'

"No…I…there's no one," she said, glancing down at the curve that was hidden underneath her sweater.

"Okay, that's all right," Patty assured her. "Any cramping or bleeding?"

"No," she shook her head quickly.

"Is Baby moving?"

"I…I don't know," Meredith breathed as tears gathered in her eyes. "I haven't actually…I mean, butterfly wings. There are a lot of butterfly wings but not kicking or…there were flutters right after but not recently or…"

"Take a deep breath, honey," Patty squeezed her hand.. "Baby might just be napping and there's no reason to panic. Was everything okay during your last check up?"

"Oh...I...I haven't been...I mean, everything was good when I went at ten weeks," Meredith whispered as she felt her cheeks heat. "And I know that makes me a terrible mom but I swear I can explain."

"That doesn't make you anything," Patty frowned as she looked up from the chart. "Honey, I've been a nurse for a long time and all I ever think about my patients is that they're doing the best they can with what the Lord has given them. That's it. You're doing the best you can. Anything else, we can deal with."

"Okay..." Meredith took a deep breath as she wiped her cheeks.

"Now, what we're going to do today is make sure you two are in perfect shape," Patty stated. "The first step of that is you stepping on that scale so we can start a chart for you and Baby."

"I can do that," Meredith agreed as she stepped on the scale, her ankle protesting. Patty played with it slightly and Meredith's eyes widened when she realized she had actually gained twelve pounds already. Her pants weren't fitting and she had noticed her hips were bigger but she really had hadn't known how it would all translate in terms of weight gain.

"Okay, step down," Patty smiled before gently grabbing her arm. "We're going to go into the room just behind me. Still no cramps?"

"No cramps," she replied, glancing down at her stomach.

"Good," the nurse smiled warmly as she opened the door and Meredith limped into a small but strangely cozy exam room. "There's a gown on the chair there for you to change into. Dr. Shepherd is going to do a full exam today so I'm afraid the gown is mandatory. You can just step behind the screen there."

"Thanks," Meredith whispered as she grabbed the gown from the chair and limped to the privacy screen that was up. Her mind was racing and she was just trying to stay calm. There wasn't any cramping, which had to be a good sign and there wasn't any blood on her underwear. That had to mean good things for the baby.

"How old are you, honey?" Patty called.

"Thirty eight," Meredith replied as she gently ran her hand over the curve of her stomach. It was rounder now, still small but rounder, and she almost wished she could actually look at it now instead of trying to hide it.

"And you're twenty-one weeks, which puts you due sometime in late February."

"February twenty-third," she nodded, clutching the robe around her as she limped back towards the exam table.

"And your last appointment confirmed a single baby with a heartbeat?" Patty asked as she helped her onto the table.

"Yeah," Meredith breathed.

"Okay," Patty murmured as she gently rubbed Meredith's back. "When did you move here, honey?"

"Two weeks ago," Meredith whispered. "From Manhattan."

"Well, welcome to Oakbrook Falls," Patty grinned before she turned to grab a blood pressure cuff. "Now, here's what I think is going to happen today, which can absolutely change based on the doctor's findings. But, he'll come in, examine you and Baby for any injuries from the fall. Once he's satisfied everything is ok, he'll order a whole round of tests for you. So we'll be getting blood and urine from you today until Dr. Shepherd is happy that you and Baby are both healthy."

"Is Dr. Shepherd an OBGYN?" Meredith asked softly as the blood pressure cuff closed around her upper arm and Patty went silent for a moment before taking the cuff off.

"He's a bit of everything in this town," Patty laughed softly. "He's a damn fine doctor and he usually takes care of the pregnant women in town before sending them out to Syracuse when the time gets closer. As long as their pregnancies are uncomplicated, of course. He knows what he's looking for and he'll take good of you two."

"Us two," Meredith breathed, resting her hand on the small curve of her stomach that could not be hidden by the paper gown as it seemed to frame the bump, pulling across it.

"I'll be right back with him," Patty assured her. "Sit tight. It should only be a minute or two."

"Thanks, Patty," Meredith sighed heavily before falling back against the table, her hand still resting on the tiny bump. She was an idiot and she wasn't even sure she had been doing her best. She was five months pregnant, she definitely shouldn't have been trying to hang a stupid shower caddy by herself, especially by balancing on the tub. Patty was probably telling the doctor that she didn't even care about the baby and there was a lot of judging going on, which she deserved. She should have gone to the doctor months ago, she should have gone every month, but now there was a chance it was going to be gone before she ever really came around to it. She took a deep breath, fighting the hot tears in her eyes, and then sat up as there was a knock on the door, it opened, and Meredith's jaw dropped.

Of all the things she had assumed about Oakbrook Falls, the idea that their doctor was an old man had been pretty high on her list. Instead, the man standing in front of her in jeans, a button down, and a white lab coat was...he was gorgeous. He wasn't really tall, but he was lean and muscular and...his hair. His hair was a gorgeous dark brown that was beginning to go gray which was especially noticeable when he walked closer to her, the light catching the specks of gray in his barely managed curls. And then there were his bright blue eyes, a little too close together in his face but the blue was so clear that for a minute, Meredith couldn't focus on anything else. "Hi, Meredith," he smiled at her and she swore her body was melting under his gaze, "I'm Derek Shepherd."

"Derek...Dr. Shepherd," she breathed as she shook his offered hand. A shiver went through every inch of her body and she looked up at him just as he cocked his head to the side, his lips opening slightly as his brow furrowed. "Hi."

"Hi," Dr. Shepherd whispered back before shaking his head and dropping her hand. "And Derek is fine."

"Derek, right," she nodded as she took a deep breath. She could not fuck the town doctor. She was five months pregnant and she could not have sex with the town's doctor no matter how gorgeous he was.

"Patty tells me you fell in the shower," Derek stated as he turned to wash his hands at the sink. "And that you're worried about your baby."

"I did," she sighed heavily. "I...falling can be bad for pregnancy, right?"

"It can be," Derek agreed before turning back to her. "How did you fall?"

"I um...it was stupid and I shouldn't have done it. I mean, I'm not even...but I was trying to hang my shower caddy and I was balancing on the tub and I just got dizzy," she explained, trying desperately to look anywhere but Derek's blue eyes because she was pretty sure she could drown in them or something.

"Well, the dizziness was probably from your blood pressure," Derek explained as the door opened again and Patty wheeled in an ultrasound machine. "It's a little low, which is pretty common at this point in the second trimester. Your blood vessels are a little constricted and your blood is working to support the baby. Unfortunately, it can lead to falls."

"Oh," she breathed.

"Did you land on your stomach?"

"I...I don't think so," she shook her head. "Maybe? It happened really fast."

"No bleeding or cramping?" He asked as he shined a light in her eyes.

"None," she confirmed. "I just…I want to know everything is okay."

"I know you do," he smiled at her in a way that made her heart pound slightly. Hormones. It had to be hormones that was making her want to have sex with this man right now because her brain was going to really inappropriate thoughts and that was really bad when she was wondering if her baby had survived a stupid mistake. "We're going to take a look and everything will be okay."

"Lay back, honey," Patty advised her as she adjust the back of the exam table so that Meredith was lying back on an angle. The nurse draped a blanket over her lap and knees and then pushed the gown up to just under her breasts, exposing her rounded abdomen. She closed her eyes for a second, trying to take a deep breath and then opened them, glancing down at her changing body just as Patty squeezed her arm.

"I want to do a pelvic first," Derek explained to her as he pulled a stool forward. "I just want to make sure your cervix isn't dilating or thinning out and then we'll take a look at the baby. Are you okay?"

"Yeah…yeah…" she breathed even as she felt hot tears fill her eyes again. "Sorry, I just…this is…"

"Take a deep breath and let it out slowly," Derek advised as he made eye contact with Patty who immediately grabbed Meredith's hand and squeezed tight. "I'm going to tell you everything I'm doing and everything I see, okay?"

"Okay," she breathed as she closed her eyes.

"Okay," he echoed as he gently placed her feet into the stirrups. He was wearing gloves now but his touch was somehow a weird combination of light and firm and she really wasn't sure why she was noticing that right now. "Cervix looks good. No dilation or effacement. I'm not seeing any blood at all." Meredith shifted slightly at the uncomfortable feeling of his fingers inside her and he smiled at her before taking off his gloves. "Worst part is over, breathe."

"I mean, what if the ultrasound…"

"Breathe, honey, let's take this one step at a time," Patty whispered to her as she squeezed her hand. "I'm right here."

"I'm going to measure your uterus now," Derek said as he gently spread a measuring tape over her belly. "Fundal height is just shy of twenty-two centimeters, which is perfect for twenty-one weeks, Meredith."

"Baby is growing nice and big," Patty smiled at her. "Good job, mama."

"Oh…" Meredith gasped, a hot tear falling down her cheek. Mama. She was a mama and her baby was growing well and her brain was starting to do that swimming thing it did every time she actually took a second to think about the baby.

"Have you felt any movement yet?" Derek asked as he stood up to bring the ultrasound closer.

"Yeah…I…butterfly wings," she answered. "It feels like fluttering wings."

"That's a good start," he smiled at her. "I'm going to spread some gel over your belly, it will be cold at first. The first thing I'm going to do is listen for your baby's heartbeat."

"To make sure it's…I mean, that it didn't…" Meredith swallowed heavily.

"Let's listen in," Derek murmured, squeezing her shoulder. "Right now, there's more amniotic fluid than baby in your uterus, which protects your baby." He turned to the machine, blocking the screen from view, which really was unnecessary because Meredith's eyes were closed and all she could focus on was Patty's dry hand in hers as Derek pressed the wand against her belly. It took a second, the longest second of all time, but then suddenly she heard the sound of the baby's heartbeat, loud and fast. "Hey there, Baby Grey," Derek's voice joined the sound and Meredith felt her shoulders shake for a second.

"That…it's okay? It's alive and it's okay and…" she sucked in a deep breath.

"A strong heartbeat at one hundred and fifty two beats a minute," Derek replied, a grin growing on his face, which only made the lines around his blue eyes crinkle. "Do you want to see?"

"See…see the baby?" She whispered as she stared at him. "I mean, when they…the baby was small and it had…I mean a head and legs and arms but it was small and…"

"Your baby has grown a bit since ten weeks, honey," Patty laughed softly. "Just take a look."

"Take a look," Meredith whispered as Derek stepped aside, closer to her but at least letting her focus on the ultrasound screen. It was a profile shot, a profile shot of the baby growing inside her, and Meredith gasped at how much bigger the baby had actually gotten. Before, it had been a blurry picture that she had really had to focus on. But now, the baby looked bigger and longer and its little feet were moving and her eyes watched as the baby lifted its little hand to its lips and then moved it back down.

"Looks like baby is blowing kisses at mama," Patty whispered and Meredith choked on a sob that rocked her entire body. She hadn't expected this, she really hadn't known what this would be like but she was staring at the little person inside her and it seemed weird that all she felt were butterfly wings when its little feet were kicking like that. "Take a deep breath, honey."

Meredith tried to follow the nurse's order but she didn't think she could. It just all felt so overwhelming and big and she didn't know how to put any of that into words. Then she felt Derek's hand on her arm and she looked up at him through her tears, her chest heaving slightly. "Take a deep breath," he murmured as he gently rubbed her skin. "Listen to my voice and take a deep breath, okay?" His voice was really calming, she couldn't deny that as she sucked in a shaky breath. "Good. You're okay. Everything is okay. Just focus on your breathing for a second and then I'll tell you about your baby."

"My…my baby," Meredith whimpered as Derek's hand closed around her wrist and he squeezed gently. His fingers were slightly callused but his touch was gentle and soothing and she found herself breathing easier as he massaged her wrist.

"Better?" He smiled at her.

"I…yeah…I…" she nodded quickly, turning to look back at the machine. It was a grainy black and white image but she could practically trace the lines of her baby's body, from its cute little round head down to its tiny little toes and she didn't know how to describe the feeling that was rushing through her right now.

"I'm going to do an anatomy scan," Derek explained softly to her, his hand still putting just the slightest bit of pressure on her wrist. "Patty said you haven't had a prenatal check up since ten weeks so I just want to do a full scan of the baby's body to make sure everything is developing on track. I'll keep talking you through every step, okay?"

"Okay," she whispered as she took another slow breath. "I don't…I can explain…"

"No one is blaming you or needing you to explain anything,' Derek shook his head as he smiled at her. "I do have a really important question for you though."

"You do?" She whispered.

"Do you want to know if you're having a boy or a girl?"

"You can tell that?" She asked as her eyes went wide.

"Well, if baby is cooperating, then yeah I can," Derek grinned. "Sometimes people want to be surprised."

"No, no," Meredith shook her head. "This…my whole life has been one big surprise the last five months and I just…no more surprises. I want to know."

"Okay, then," Derek nodded as he turned back to the screen and moved the wand a little. If Meredith was being honest with herself, she would have to admit that she really hadn't thought of the baby as being any specific gender. For the last few months, it had just been the baby and that was it. And even right now, things felt too big for her to focus on the thought of what she actually wanted. "So first, we have your baby's head. The skull and brain are perfectly developed, no abnormalities that I can see."

"That's really, really good," Meredith whispered, watching Derek's finger move along the screen. He was pointing as he talked, running his finger along the baby's tiny spine that looked like a string of pearls, circling the baby's heart and the four chambers, and then directing her attention to each organ. The baby, her baby, looked so small but so like a little person that it made her head swim. For the last five months, her body had done this. It had grown this little tiny person, this person who hadn't been wanted or expected, and now it had a brain, spine, heart, stomach, lungs…and fingers and toes. Derek counted each finger and toe for her and her vision was really starting to blur as Patty squeezed her hand.

"And now…" Derek finally smiled after he had gone over what seemed like every organ in her baby's body, "let's see here…" He moved the probe slightly, exerting just the slightest bit of pressure on her belly and the baby suddenly stretched on the screen, its little fingers going up and over its eyes. "There we go. Baby Girl Grey was trying to be shy for a second."

"Baby…baby girl?" Meredith gasped as she stared at the screen. "Baby…are you…you're sure? You're sure it's a girl?"

"I am," Derek murmured. "You're having a very healthy, nearly eleven inches and a little under thirteen ounces baby girl. Though, she'll definitely get bigger before you meet her."

"I…a girl," Meredith breathed as her brain swirled and her chest tightened. A girl. She was growing a little baby girl, a tiny little baby girl. The baby wasn't an it, she was a she and that was…a girl. She was having a baby girl. A baby girl whose father wanted nothing to do with her and whose mom had been too freaked out to actually take good care of her and no matter what she did, Meredith couldn't stop the sobs that wracked her body. A girl. She was having a baby girl.

"Oh, honey," Patty whispered next to her before pulling her into a quick hug. Meredith hung onto the nurse as she cried for the first time in she wasn't even sure how long. She was pregnant with a tiny little baby girl who needed her, who would depend on her, and she wasn't sure what she could even remotely offer the baby right now. She had done this all wrong and her daughter deserved more. Her daughter had to have more.

She felt Derek lift the probe from her belly and she shook her head desperately, her eyes wide and wet as she turned towards him. "No…no…I want…"

"It's okay," Derek assured her. "I'm printing some pictures for you."

"Is…is…she…" Meredith heaved as Patty rubbed her back.

"She's doing great," Derek murmured. "She's healthy and strong and she's going to have a lot more growing to do."

"Y-yeah?"

"Yeah," he nodded as he sat down on his stool next to her. "I guarantee you that very soon she's going to give you a nice big kick just to say hi."

"Right now…right now she's just…butterfly," she hiccuped as she wiped her eyes. Derek seemed to glance over her head and Meredith felt Patty shift away from her.

"I'm going to get you some water, honey," Patty whispered in her hair. "And maybe a cookie or two to eat. Just keep breathing, okay?"

"Okay," she confirmed as the nurse left the room. She wiped her eyes frantically and tried to calm her breathing, but the words Baby Girl Grey were all she could really process and it just made her want to cry all over again. She didn't want her daughter to ever feel even an ounce of the pain she had felt growing up, but she honestly wasn't sure if there was any way to prevent it when things were still messy. Her breath stuttered in her chest and she tried to breathe again, tried to calm her heart just as she felt a tissue being pressed into her hand.

"You're okay," Derek whispered to her, his eyes dark with concern. "You're okay."

"S-sorry, I don't usually…I'm not a crier," she insisted as she wiped her eyes.

"It's okay," he shrugged. "Hormones and babies have a tendency to do that. You're not the first person to cry in here."

"I know but…" she sucked in a deep breath.

"It's okay," he repeated as he reached behind him for an ultrasound picture and handed it to her. "Patty said you just moved here two weeks ago."

"I…yeah," she whispered as her eyes immediately went to the picture of her daughter. "From Manhattan."

"She also said you're alone," he said gently.

"Oh," she breathed as panic settled right in her chest. "I…the father…yeah, I'm…I'm alone."

"Keep breathing," he ordered, scooting closer to her so that all she could smell was a woodsy scent that had to be him. "I'm guessing Baby Girl Grey wasn't in the plans?"

"Not…not at all," she laughed harshly. "I'm a journalist. Or was. I was…I mean, I still am but I don't have an actual job or…and now she's…"

"Look at me," he ordered gently as he grabbed her hand. A shock seemed to go through them and she looked up at him just in time to see his eyes darken and his face go blank for the shortest of seconds. His hand dropped from hers but he kept eye contact as they both took a slow and steady breath together. "Good," he whispered in a voice that sounded almost strained. "Just focus on your breathing."

"I don't know what to do," she whispered as she stared into his blue eyes. "I haven't…I don't know how to do this."

"It's…it's easy to avoid when big things happen without you planning them," he stated as he ran a shaking hand through his hair. "But, Meredith, this is happening. Your baby girl is growing inside in you. She's healthy and she's strong so you've been doing something right. You're over halfway through this pregnancy and the changes are going to keep happening. There's going to be a growth spurt pretty soon, a big one, and I really don't think she's going to keep feeling like butterfly wings for much longer. Your baby girl is going to make sure you know she's coming."

"I know," she whispered as she swallowed against the feelings of guilt and shame that rushed through her.

"I don't know what happened before you came here," he shook his head. "You did your best and that's pretty obvious. But now…now you can stop avoiding, okay?"

"Okay," she agreed softly, her hand falling to the spot where her daughter was growing. "She's really okay?"

"She's perfect," the doctor smiled at her as he pointed to the picture in her hand. "That's a very healthy baby."

"Good," she whispered, staring at the tiny fingers and toes in the picture.

"Do you have any questions about what's been going on?" Derek asked as he scooted back from her and stood.

"I don't think so," she shook her head. "I…my sister was pregnant a couple of years ago and I feel like this is going a lot like hers did."

"Well, you have a couple of options here," he started as he leaned against the sink, "you can use me as your doctor for the rest of your pregnancy and I can suggest an OB in Syracuse around thirty-four weeks or I can make a call to that OB now."

"Patty said you take care of most women in town with uncomplicated pregnancies," she nodded as she sat up more, scooting forward to the end of the exam table.

"I do," he nodded as his hand moved through his hair again. "I even deliver a few of them when they decide to do a home birth or forget that Syracuse is an hour away.'

"So my pregnancy is uncomplicated?" She asked.

"For now," he assured her. "I'm going to send your blood and urine to a lab in Syracuse and once we get the all clear there, we'll just keep an eye on you."

"I…okay," she took a deep breath. "I want to stay here in Oakbrook Falls."

"We can make that the plan," he murmured, picking up her chart and making a note. "For now, I want to get back to the fall. Does anything else hurt?"

"Oh," Meredith blinked as the pain in her ankle and wrist suddenly registered in her mind again. "My wrist and ankle. I think I landed on my wrist."

"Let's take a look," he nodded as he stepped forward again and picked up her offered right hand. The shock thing happened again and Derek's fingers seemed to pause against her skin, his head cocking to the side as he froze. It lasted a second but Meredith couldn't help but wonder if he was feeling it too, or if she was just experiencing a weird hormonal surge around the first man she had been attracted to in months. "I think this is just sprained," he murmured as Patty walked in with a bottle of water and some cookies.

"Okay," she whispered just as the sound of an alarm filled the room and Derek froze for a second, his eyes flying to his watch.

"Your lunch is in your office for when you're done here, Derek," Patty told him, her voice light as she unscrewed the lid of the water and turned to Meredith. "Take slow sips of this, honey. Let me know how they sit and then you can have these chocolate chip cookies."

"Lunch, okay," Derek murmured under his breath and then leaned down to lift Meredith's ankle. He turned it in a couple of directions and she winced at the feeling before deciding to focus on his dark hair. It really was amazing and messy in a way that looked purposeful. She had no idea what he was doing here in this tiny town, but she wasn't going to question it right now. "Twisted," he concluded as he looked at Patty. "We'll wrap both for six weeks and then it's just all about RICE."

"RICE?" Meredith asked.

"Rest, ice, compress, and elevate," Patty answered as she turned to grab a couple of ACE bandages out of the cabinet. "You'll be slowed down for a couple of weeks and I wouldn't recommend any hikes to go up to the falls, but you'll be good as new soon."

"Oh," Meredith sighed heavily. "I've really enjoyed hiking up to the falls."

"It's an incredible hike," Derek smiled gently. "I go every Saturday."

"The guy who owns the coffee shop…I…Chris?" Meredith glanced at him for confirmation before he nodded. "He told me about Watkins's Trail. It was actually…that's where she first moved."

"Hmmm…" Derek smiled. "Chris loves it up there. He proposed to his wife there."

"Really?"

"Yeah,' Derek nodded as he wrapped her wrist in the ACE bandage. "He tells everyone to go there, he swear it's magical."

"Do you go there?" She asked.

"Sometimes," he replied. "I'm not sure about magic but…it's beautiful."

"Yeah, it is," she agreed, wincing slightly as he moved back to her ankle. "You're the Doc."

"Sorry?" He looked up at her, his brow furrowed.

"The doc. Doc's table. He never lets me sit there but I've never seen you and I was starting…but you're the doc."

"Oh," Derek laughed softly, shaking his head. "It's the best table."

"I figured it had to be," she grinned, wiggling her toes against his palm. "I thought maybe it was magical or something."

"Not magical," he shook his head as his cheeks turned pink. "I just…that's where I sit."

"Okay,' she whispered as he smoothed his hand over her bandaged ankle and then stood slowly.

"You're all set," he told her as he turned to grab a pad of paper off the counter top. "This is my personal number. If you start feeling any contractions or start bleeding or notice the baby isn't moving, then call me at any time. That goes for any blurred vision or headaches or vomiting, too."

"Any time?" She frowned as she took the piece of paper from him.

"Benefits of a small town," he smiled at her. "The doctor makes house calls."

"Oh," she whispered, her free hand creeping over her stomach. "Should I…I mean, she was okay."

"It's a precaution, Meredith," he assured her softly as he reached out to squeeze the hand that was resting over her baby. "You're both doing great. And we're going to keep it that way. Just…no more hanging up shower caddies. And definitely no ladders or step stools."

"Okay," she agreed softly as her fingers suddenly became laced with his. It was only a second, probably not even a whole second, but Derek's eyes met hers and she could swear he looked so confused that it almost broke her heart.

"It was nice meeting you," Derek murmured as he pulled his hand back. "And Baby Girl Grey."

"You, too," she whispered. "Thank you."

"Hmmm…" he smiled before turning to walk out of the room, his hand flexing slightly by his side. Meredith took another deep breath and looked down at her own hand against her belly. It was shaking slightly and she honestly wasn't sure if it was from the adrenaline of her afternoon or from the way Derek's skin seemed to just make her shake.

"Okay, honey," Patty smiled widely, "I'm going to need a urine sample and we're going to take some blood. You can get dressed first, I know those gowns aren't comfortable."

"Oh, okay," Meredith nodded as she eased off the table.

"I'll be just outside, take your time," the nurse murmured and Meredith nodded again before turning to her clothes that were folded on the chair. She put the ultrasound picture down on top of them and then let the paper gown drop to the floor before pausing. She was standing naked in the exam room now and for the first time in months, she really let herself look down at her changing body. Her boobs were bigger, her hips were rounder, but she just wanted to examine her belly for a second. It didn't even seem that big. It was going to get bigger, but somehow, inside of that curve, was a tiny little girl who moved and kicked and had ten fingers and ten toes.

She brushed her fingernails over the curve before cupping the bottom of the swell, her thumb lightly resting against the stretched skin. Her daughter. Her daughter was inside her right now. She was going to be a mama in a few months and her little girl was growing and moving. "Hey, baby girl," she whispered as her other hand moved to the top of the curve. "It's me. I'm…well, I'm your mom. And I know I haven't done…I don't know if you've heard me or noticed but…I'm going to do better. I'm going to do better and you just have to keep doing your thing, okay? You just have to grow and kick and just…do whatever fetuses do. Not that…I mean, fetuses sounds technical but you get what I mean. Just keep doing whatever you need to do and I'll figure everything out on this end. I swear I will." She meant it, too. No matter what, Meredith had to do better for her tiny little girl with ten fingers and ten toes. And probably the first step of that was not thinking about the town doctor in sexy terms. It was time for her to turn over a new leaf and start thinking of her future with her tiny baby girl.

Gimme something that'll haunt me when you're not around

'Cause I see, sparks fly, whenever you smile