Of Fae, Faith and Fated Children
All children, except one, grow up. That one is old, as I'm sure you know. But do you really?
Peter ran from his mom when he was very little, and by some reason, and that it's not coincidence's work, I checked. When Tink found Peter on Kensington gardens he wasn't more than a giant of a fairy. He didn't have wings, but she knew, inside all of her at once, that he could fly. The poor thing just needed a push and some happy thoughts. There was something in him, she just couldn't put the right finger on it... but he was, she knew he was! Look at him, a son of sun and moon and stars, made from song and dance, fruit of promises and sweet lies, she bet... yes... he was a little fae child, bet he was. And those are always meant for things big, be them terrible or wonderful they were always great things. Peter Pan's thing was Never Land.
But that came after, before, the boy lived from fairy food, sleeping under bushes and on top of trees, sometimes under tree roots, if they fit him. And it didn't take long for Peter to discover he quiet liked mothers. No, he didn't hate them mind you, even though he would say so himself. The heart has a way of telling his own lies. And Peter liked even more mothers that told stories. He kind of lost his when he ran away, and that left a need behind, a need he denied and that in return mauled him. A need his little fellas couldn't satisfy. Faeries, as you may know are quiet simple things, they have rules sure, and their little houses and little stories too, but they are too small to have too complex feelings. Theirs's came one at a time, and that doesn't leave space for mixing, nor transformation, nor growing. That's why they are born and die the same. Thats why they are not mother or child. And that's why Peter stayed, cause he himself longed to always be the same as well.
The thing is, Peter was fae but not fairy... he had plenty space for a great number of feelings. And mixing. And transformation. Thats why the day he wanted to look farther he grew taller. And the day he wanted to fly faster he grew stronger. And Peter wanted so much now he was even more a giant of a faery. Still a boy of course, cause he didn't have feelings THAT big. At least not yet.
Well, it came the day that Peter started wandering outside the faerie's custody. And outside he found many mothers with their children, and many stories. Those stories grew on him as they grow in every boys' minds. But Peter's mind was not just of a normal boy, he was a special boy, that he was. And from stories, hearts and fae boy's mind it came Never Land.
Never Land, as you all know was a creation of great wonder. As were its habitants, pirates and Indians and mermaids. But not the fairies, no. And not the lost boys, of course. Faery beings and kidnapped and abandoned kids, those didn't come from the boy but with him. They were not a part of Peters, but his family, in different degrees per say. Some were found and some were stolen. How did the saying go? "something old, something new, something borrowed and something blue"... nah, forget that, my mistake. No one is getting married in this story.
But yes, I think you are ready now. You got the setting, "Second star to the right and straight on 'til morning", we've got the villain, put there, hook, mustache an breeches, to make its creator's glory as it was in every great story. We've got the hero and soon we'll have the damsel, Wendy, sweet Wendy. But not in distress, no. Wendy had all that Pan liked in boys and in mothers. And she had so many stories.
He found her by chance, or so he thought. A faint cry of joy carried by the wind, a merry lot behind closed windows. A girl with stories like mothers and smiles like boys.
When Wendy told stories Peter's heart ran leaps insides his chest. There were fights and blood and sweet victory. And there were strong girls just like boys. It was all just so delightful. Wendy's eyes shone like gems and it came the day he couldn't fight it no more. He would be the father and she shall be the mother, their kids already waiting, having heard of the mother that had adventures dripping from the tip of her tongue every night.
He didn't see it, no one did. But he changed some more, right there.
The thing is, as much as Peter Pan was and adored to be a boy, he longed to be and was, in certain ways, a man. Although childhood is a time to be cherished and lived to its full extent, it is also a transitioning moment in a person's life. As are all the other moments. Peter, as you already know, had plenty space for transformation inside of him, for he was man's child as much as fae's. He was a being of fear, of juvenile fury, of eternal delight and of a constant and constantly denied longing to live... because as fun as eternal childhood might be, you can't stay there for as long as he did and leave Never Land as much as he did, and hear stories told by strong pretty girls as much as he did, without noticing that, yes... your desires might not be as simple as they were for so long. And not as pure as the ones from short lived childhoods.
Love... so simply put by a sharp tongue and blue searching eyes. Peter would never ever admit it out loud, but that word made his heart run leaps as much as Wendy's stories. It was such a grown-up word. He feared it, he feared that he felt it.
Wendy...
She had no idea what she was mingling with awakening such a felling in a halfling's heart.
Oh Wendy...
Why did she have to? Why did she have to say it out loud? To crush the delicate reality of being without acknowledging it... Wendy... with enchanting stories and regular mother stiches, sharp boy swords and a pretty girl mouth. She was the perfect mother for Peter's father. He may not have known it at the time, or maybe just have feared it, but it was his, her kiss, the one hidden in the right corner of her mouth. As they were hers, his feelings, all fae, boy and man ones.
Oh, poor little Pan. He was a funny creature. As a lost boy himself, he longed for a mother. As a fae offspring he longed for their eternal simple childlike innocence and freedom. But as a child of man he longed for living the men's life... And Wendy made all of him feel satisfied and completely vulnerable at the same time.
The day she went away, Pan, as the hero he was, not just let her go but took her back to her house, mother and father. He was so proud of himself, so selfless.
Shame it didn't last long. He often forgot people that didn't really matter to him. That's the nature of simple free minds. What he hasn't noticed before letting her go is that his mind would never again be free of Wendy. Sometimes he would be fighting hook, because hook is and always will be there, and he would remember her, and Hook as much part of Peter as the rest of neverland, would remember too. And Oh, he could be so nasty! In those moments Peter fled as fast as possible. From Hook, Wendy and himself. You sure know how well that went...
And so, Peter looked for Wendy again. He just couldn't help it- Oh, don't blame him! As you might have noticed, Peter was both a being of desire. And evolving. Peter desired Wendy and that transformed him once again. So, when he met her again, on the same window, in the same London, Wendy wasn't the same Wendy, but neither was Peter the same Peter. It happened almost exactly like the first time. He flew in, they exchanged pleasantries. He whispered sweet nothings in her ear and Wendy, so infatuated by him and so much afraid of growing up herself, once again put her hand in his.
It didn't take long for them to noticed each other's changes. So, nature, very much the same in Never Land as out of it when it came to these matters, followed it's rhythm.
He was so uncertain... there was never a moment, after or before, when Peter was so exactly in between man and boy. His fingers trembled and vis voice broke. His eyes shinned and his tongue dried. And Wendy... all soft curves, shy chest, pink cheeks, short boyish locks and daring, amazed smiles. She was so much braver than him. When they found what went where, Peter was sure a part of him was forever lost inside of her. She gasped and bled, but didn't shed a tear. He was worried and hesitant, poorly holding back anguished cries and trying not to drown in his own breath or feelings. But she wouldn't give him time, nudging and grabbing him. It was awkward and fast. In the end his whole body tied and went loose in the most disconcerting manner. He looked at her from the nest of her breasts through frightened and adoring blown pupils, face red, just like when she gave him that first thimble. He looked like a new hatchling for her. She was warm and still wanting, and so much in love with him.
On a second thought, I may have lied earlier, it was as much a wedding as real weddings goes. Peter, much older than his child soul will ever be; a brand-new thimble Wendy had never given; Wendy herself, borrowed from her home never to be returned and her blue shinning eyes, just like all those years before, branded forever on his memory.
And just like that, everything fit into perfect harmony and Peter felt deficient no more. Wendy was his woman, his mother and drenched forever in his magic, now the first lost girl... From that point on, the only new additions or subtractions in Never land was the eternal procession of lost boys. Little sacrifices for an intoxicated eternity sustained for the lovers.
If by any chance you are asking yourself: no, this is not a happy love story. This is a story of a conflicted selfish entity, that fell in love with a kid he lured and kidnapped. You may say Wendy chose that path for herself...But have you ever looked into a fae's eyes and said no?...
Author note: This came from a conversation I had some time ago in witch the idea that Peter Pan was actually some sort of god that kidnapped kids came up. It's tragic, but makes sense. Hope I didn't spoile anyone's childhood.
See ya!