Disclaimer: I don't own RvB.
Episode 21: Capture the... Sniper?
Flowdie couldn't help wondering... "What the heck is with Blue Team?" Marley couldn't help but laugh.
"The same thing that's wrong with the rest of us Flowdie!"
"Yeah but... a love triangle with a tank, an android, and a human? That's just... that's messed up."
"Why do you think Tucker described it as 'disgusting?'" Marley inquired, far too cherry in Flowdie's opinion. Then something from down in the canyon caught his attention.
"Wait... what did Caboose just wail?"
"'Shelia~! Come back to me~! I made you a muffin~!'" Marley parroted with a grin before falling backwards in laughter.
"Yeah but... how would a tank eat a muffin?" Flowdie asked, extremely perplexed by Caboose's outcry.
"Not a clue!" Marley sang gleefully. A moment later and Sheila declared that she and Lopez were forming a robot army and would no longer serve the humans. This caused a rather amusing reaction in Flowdie.
"AHH! The machine overlords cometh!" he cried, leaping behind his chair. Marley cackled, then sobered and said, very seriously,
"Technically, it's one overlord and one overlady. Get your terms straight."
"Overlady isn't even a word!" Flowdie countered, pointing the Finger of Doom at the love of his life.
"Sure it is. I used it."
"GAH! You made me miss the rest of what Tucker said!"
"Winning~!"
/*/
On top of Red Base, Sarge was attempting to form a plan of attack. Or, rather, 'rescue' as they were attempting to steal back Lopez. Who, incidentally, held 'orders from Command!' Rick, Dex, and Eagle had a bet going on if those 'orders' would be 'try to win!' 'attack the Blues!' or, Dex's personal favorite and his bet, 'try to do better!' "It's very simple. We'll use a flea flicker maneuver with a running gun two-by-two approach. Tactical Ops will be... aw heck, who am I kiddin'? Grif, Eagle, just go stand in the way of their bullets while me and Simmons the Mechanic sneak around back to grab Lopez," Sarge said, slumping with a sigh at the end. Rick and Dex shared a look. They'd used those very same maneuver names on various missions.
'I wonder why he's still pretending,' Rick signed to Dex.
'Because he hates my guts and thinks you're a talentless Yes Man,' Dex signed back. Rick sighed. Dex was probably right. He was often right.
"Sounds like a plan!" Eagle cheered overly happy. Even as Dex turned to him with a sharp,
"No it doesn't," he had to wonder if this was just Eagle's brand of sarcasm and he was going to follow up with something biting before he got cut off. "How about this time, we try something that doesn't involve me getting shot at or run over," Dex added.
"Would electrified be okay?" Rick asked 'helpfully.'
"NO!" Dex said sharply.
"Well, I'm out of ideas," Rick said, turning back to Sarge.
"Look. Instead of just running straight into enemy gunfire like we usually do, why don't we try some reconnaissance this time?" Dex offered sensibly.
"You mean like spy stuff?! That would be cool! I could wear, a spy tuxedo!" Eagle enthused.
"No," Sarge interjected gruffly, though Eagle seemed quite content to ignore his CO.
"With a hidden spy camera," Eagle went on, once again ignoring the 'no' he got, this time from Rick, "inside a tiny spy bowtie!" Dex decided, it was his turn to give the excitable soldier a flat 'no.' "Or! I could wear a flower on my lapel..."
"I said no!" Sarge tried, but was denied yet again as Eagle could not be stopped.
"... the sprays water in people's faces!" the sniper continued with a laugh.
"Shut up Eagle Eye!" Rick ground out, fingers twitching toward his knife.
"No," Eagle said, turning to him before continuing with his little spy fantasy, though Rick was sure the idgit was grinning under his helmet. Evil little prankster! "Secret spy liquid! That would be awesome!" Eagle said, laughing as he finally finished.
"NO!" Sarge and Rick both yelled while Dex said,
"Maybe!" There was a moment of stunned silence before he said, "Uh... I mean 'noo~.'"
"Oh come on! I could be Double O Doughnut!"
"You mean Dooughnut?" Rick asked, emphasizing the 'oo' sound.
"With a license to thrill! Or be thrilled!" Eagle said, skillfully ignoring Rick. It was a talent that all Blood Gulcher's honed to a fine art... toward pretty much everything.
"Alright. Since you're both so into the idea; Grif, Eagle, you're on Recon. Find us a way to break into their base and report back on the double," Sarge said. Dex groaned, though he was grinning behind his helmet.
"Great. More time alone with the idiot," he groused. Eagle all-too-easily played along.
"Grif Grif Grif! Let's pretend we're wearing super spy jet packs!" he said excitedly. Dex sighed gustily, only for Eagle to correct his 'jet pack sound effect.' Yeah. It was gong to be a long five minutes. Once they were out of sight of the Red Base, Dex switched to Agent Mode, Eagle all too happy to follow his lead. "Yyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyeeeeeeeeeeeesssssssssssssssss~!" the now burgundy soldier hissed, barely refraining from jumping for joy, "I'm freeeeeeeee~!"
"You're welcome. Now come on, help me find a way past these guys so we can get our crazy robot back so we can get those oh-so-secret secret plans and possibly prevent Sarge from having a full on mental breakdown resulting in all of us dying. Likely horribly. In a hail of bullets. Poorly aimed bullets," Dex said. Frank sighed, unlimbering his rifle.
"Yeah yeah, rain on my parade why don't you," he said, looking out toward the Blue base.
"It's part of the job description. 'Rain on everyone's parade,'" Dex quipped, causing the burgundy Agent to snort.
"And which job is that? Weapons expert, Senior Red Agent, or lazy idiot?" Frank asked. Dex cuffed him lightly.
"Agent Daddy. Now, since you're better at sneaking around, leave me your rifle and see if you can't find us a way in," he said before pushing the younger man further along the canyon wall. Frank shook his head at his partner, but handed over the gun and moved along.
"Agent Daddy my Betty," he muttered, referring to the rifle Marley had given him, which was a good deal better than the one he was currently leaving with Dex.
"I heard that!" Dex shouted back.
"Hawk eared crazy man," Frank whispered.
"I do not have hawk ears!"
"THEN HOW THE HECK DO YOU KEEP HEARING ME!?"
"We have helmet mics idiot. Read the manual."
"... There's a manual?"
"Just... find us an opening!"
/*/
"Wait... Caboose has gotten his head stuck in the freezer before?" Flowdie remarked from where he'd been watching the Blue Team. Again.
"It's Caboose. In all the time we've been observing Blood Gulch, I would have thought that you would have learned that with Caboose, stupid stuff is an everyday occurrence and stupid insanity is a given," Marley remarked dryly, finalizing a mission report.
"Alright alright! Then what about the 'robot army?'" Marley paused and looked up, a look of concentration on her face, before nodding with a hum.
"... Plot point. Pretty sure it's a plot point."
"Really?" Flowdie asked, puzzled. Marley turned to him with furrowed brow.
"Hey. You ever heard of a Freelancer who had to deal with a robot uprising between a tank and a repair droid?" she asked.
"Fair point. But... how is it a plot point?" Flowdie countered, crossing his arms. Marley sighed and turned to face him fully, crossing her own arms and leaning back in her seat.
"Well, Reggie and O'Malley use the 'robot army' mentality of Lopez to their advantage. And... well... a lot of stuff happens. Didn't I tell you about all this?" she told him, gesturing and sitting forward as she got more animated.
"Um... most of it, yeah. But hearing you talk about it and seeing it play out are two different things."
"Fair point, fair point. Let us watch on!"
"Let's."
/*/
Meanwhile, Doc was arguing with the voice in his head. "Ya know, I really think we should try a non-violent approach to resolve this," he pleaded, then The Other took over and spoke through him.
"I agree, except replace the word 'non' with 'extremely' and after the word 'violent' include the phrase 'blood explosion extraordinaire!'" he said, laughing evilly at the end. Eagle, who was circling around to try and find a way into Blue Base undetected, heard the laughter and stealthily crept closer.
"We can't so this!" Doc protested, not noticing the approaching Agent, "they're gonna find out! They'll find out about us! The machines! Everything!" By now, Eagle was highly curious about what Doc was whining about. He was glad he had already activated his armor's Agent Mode. It would save a few questions should Doc see him. The Other laughed manically while Eagle frowned, thinking that Doc was acting rather suspicious.
"I will rip out their guts and feast on their entrails!" The sniper's eyes went wide as he thought,
'That doesn't sound like the Purple Mouse at all! What is going on here?!'
"But I'm a vegetarian!" Doc protested. He seemed to be doing that a lot lately. The Other simply laughed his evil laugh. "Look, we can't just sabotage their equipment! That's rude!"
'Sabotage?! That's certainly not Doc's idea. But who's he arguing with?' Eagle wondered, staring wide eyed at the one-man drama playing out below his current position.
"I will devour their hearts and crap out their souls!"
'That... isn't physically possible. And sounds even worse than sabotage. Doc... what's going on with you? And does Marley know about this? So many questions, so little answers~! And perhaps... too little time. This isn't good, no sir, not good at all,' Eagle mused, beginning to creep away.
"They will all taste oblivion!"
'No thanks~!' the Agent thought, still slowly backing away.
"Which tastes just like Red Bull!"
'I like Red Bull! It give you wings.'
"Which is disgusting!" The Other spit out.
'Hey!'
"All will perish!" The Other said, then proceeded to laugh some more.
'All? Wait... that includes me! Oh man, I have to report this to Marley!' Eagle realized, turning back and jogging away. He was too late to see Doc turn around, fear in every line of his body and call out in a weak voice,
"Hello? Who's there? Please help me! I'm scared of myself!" If he had... this might have been a rather different story.
/*/
As Eagle neared the cave system's exit, he shifted back to Standard mode, planning to run back to base. Only, what he saw was... "Wait... this is Blue Base!" he remarked, staring at the base in surprise.
"Eagle... How did you get over there?" Dex asked over the radio.
"Ya know... the caves are a strange place, my orange friend," Eagle replied, staring at the enemy base. "I really wish I had a cloaking unit," he muttered to himself.
"I'll bet you do," Tucker's voice said behind him.
"Oh no," Eagle groaned as he turned to see Tucker and Caboose behind him, guns aimed at his center mass.
"Oh yeah," Tucker drawled.
"Ha! You owe me fifty bucks!" crowed Dex. Eagle snarled, backing away.
"Now is not the time to be collecting bet money, Dex!" he hissed.
"Who are you talking to?" Tucker asked, poking him with his gun.
"On your own man. Aloha!" Dex said, cutting the connection.
"Traitor," Eagle hissed before Caboose managed to knock him out.
/*/
"Wow. Caboose actually knocked Eagle out. I didn't know he had it in him," Marley remarked. Flowdie was off to the side, laughing maniacally.
"Soon. Soon my Blues shall take over the world! Yes, soon, my minions, soon our time shall come!" he cackled. Marley just shook her head at the man.
"The Blood Gulch madness has truly taken hold of you," she said sadly.
/*/
Back in the gulch, Eagle was waking up to an odd situation. "So, they sent a female assassin to try and kill us. Very clever, not not clever enough. We're immune to your feminine wiles. Unless you want to date one of us," Tucker said. Eagle blinked.
"Female? I'm not a girl. I just have light red armor!" he denied.
"How is that pink armor anyway? Looks comfortable~!" Caboose said.
'I can have fun with this,' Eagle thought, then grinned under his helmet before replying, "I used to really hate it, but it's kinda grown on me. My old armor chafed my thighs something awful."
/*/
Meanwhile, Dex had informed the rest of the Reds what had happened to their sniper. "How could this happen?!" Sarge lamented. Rick and Dex shared a look.
"Should we keep the illusion up?" Dex asked. Rick shrugged.
"The only thing holding it now is our armor," he said. Sarge frowned, though his soldiers couldn't see it.
"What in Sam Hill are you two yammering about?" he asked. Rick and Dex shared a nod.
"Nothing sir! Just quoting a show we saw the other day," Dex answered, the two Agents having agreed to maintain the illusion, just in case Sarge wasn't Red. As unlikely as that was. The man hummed, then seemed to just brush it off. Rick and Dex looked at each other again, then shrugged. They had been victims of 'Blood Gulch vision' for years, so their Sargent being a victim as well, wasn't outside the realms of possibility. Sure Blood Gulch itself was close to being outside the realms of possibility, but still.
"Now. How could this happen?!" Sarge cried once more.
"Meh, it's okay sir. It was a strong plan, Eagle's just bad with directions," Rick answered. Dex snorted.
"Yeah. Remember his first day here?" he asked. Rick chuckled.
"Poor idiot couldn't tell which way our base was... even after we had just turned up!" he said.
"Yeah, or that other time? With the bandolier?"
"Ha! That one was priceless!"
"Settle down ladies!" Sarge cut in, not following the conversation at all, "we need a new strategy and we need it fast!"
"Eh, Eagle's tougher than you think Sarge. I doubt anything the Blues can do could manage to break him," Rick said with a shrug while Dex chuckled.
"He thrives on the misery of others and lives to make everyone around him as uncomfortable as possible. And that pink armor? A deadly weapon of underestimation. We don't have a thing to worry about, Sarge," he said.
"He's far to young and naïve to last for long!" Sarge said, apparently ignoring Dex.
"It's the armor, isn't it? I knew I should have pushed for the pruce!" the ignored soldier lamented. Rick shook his head, but reiterated what Dex had said.
"The boy doesn't even see the entertainment value in being tortured! Oh these kids today!" Sarge shouted.
"Do you think he's suffering from neurosis or something? Maybe we should have our friend in the sky run a brain scan," Dex asked Rick, who just shook his head at his teammates. 'My life man. My life.'
/*/
Eagle was having fun, talking with Caboose and running verbal circles around Tucker. He heard the cyan soldier talking with Church. "So how's it going Tucker. Got anything useful out of the prisoner?" Church asked.
"I figured he was here to steal back Lopez, but he won't give us anything... except a list of crock pot recipes. Could that be useful?"
'You have no idea, Blue,' Eagle thought with a grin, remembering cozy Sunday afternoons back on the farm. His grandmother's crock pot recipes were pure gold!
"Do we have a crock pot?" asked Church
"No. Caboose made a trade with that annoying guy from Blue Command. He swapped it for a mystery box," Tucker said, sounding a little defeated.
'Well that was stupid,' Eagle thought to himself, mentally shaking his head at the folly of the man in front of him. 'Crock pots are way better than mystery boxes.'
"What was in the mystery box?" Church wanted to know. So did Eagle, so he listened carefully.
"A hundred and forty jars of mayonnaise."
'WHY WOULD ANYONE NEED THAT MUCH MAYO?!' the sniper wondered, eyes going wide behind the orange visor of his helmet.
"Well that's a good trade."
'NO IT'S NOT!' Eagle raged. Why would anyone want a whole bunch of mayonnaise when they could have a crock pot?
"Yeah, doubles as great sun screen," Tucker said.
"How did you...? Never mind."
'My thoughts exactly, Church. My thoughts exactly.'
"Listen, I think I've come up with a plan for Lopez and our new prisoner, to get an upper hand on the Reds," Church continued. Eagle narrowed his eyes. That didn't sound good for him, or his fun at Blue Base. "The plan does not involve mayonnaise."
'Wait. What?' Eagle wondered, bamboozled by the oddity of the Blues. 'Sure the Reds aren't much better, but hey! It's the crazy I know.'
"Dang it! I knew there would be a catch!" Tucker remarked. Eagle shook his head slightly and focused back on his game with Caboose.
"That was fun!" the soldier said. "Okay, okay, your turn. Truth, or dare?"
"Hummm... truth," Eagle said.
"Okay. Tell me all of the Reds' secret plans!" Caboose said. Eagle blinked.
"Aww~! You tricked me!" he said, mildly impressed despite himself. Caboose was a simple soul, but he could be sneaky when he wanted to be, using a game to get information. "You Blue guys are so smart!" Eagle said, playing along and developing his cover just a little more. Apparently, it was hard to hear sarcasm in his voice. Of course, this was milked for all it was worth. "Okay, now listen closely. Our biggest secret is..." he said, planning on revealing that they played Black Jack for Oreoes and root beer when he suddenly felt really weird, like something was taking control of his body, spreading from the very back of his mind. He considered fighting it, but then noticed it wasn't shifting through his memories, in fact it seemed to be studiously avoiding his memories. He wasn't sure how he could tell, but he could. Noticing that, he decided to just let it go. If he wasn't in control, they couldn't question him and if they couldn't question him, they essentially got nothing. If whatever was controlling him started doing something he really didn't like, he'd fight for control. But not before.
/*/
Dex was on sentry duty when he saw the Blue team running toward the base in plain view... with Eagle Eye. Unbound. He shook his head. "Do they really think that'll work?" he asked Rick. The maroon solider looked out, saw what Dex had, then shook his head at them.
"Sad thing is... they probably do," he said.
"Think they stripped Eagle and wore his armor?"
"Nah. Weird thing is... I can see all the living members... wait. You don't think that thing about the ghost was true... do you?" Dex stared out at the approaching soldiers, studying how Eagle was moving, then sighed.
"Ya know... I think the ghost thing might be true after all. Drat. That means I owe Burgundy ten dollars," he said.
"Hello inferior Red Squad!" called Tucker.
"We would like to talk to you about," 'Eagle' began before Caboose popped up in front of him, shouting something that sounded like 'heckstack!'
"What is a 'heckstack?'" Dex asked Rick. The other soldier shrugged, shaking his head.
"No clue."
"Huh. I thought you might have one," Dex said, then shrugged. That was when Sarge came up on base.
"What the? Eagle! What is this?!" Sarge yelled.
"Shush! You'll confuse them!" Rick hissed.
"Yeah, they're hard enough to understand without you making them confused," Dex added, and was ignored by default.
"We... I mean they... would like to negotiate a surrender... to us. No wait! To them!" 'Eagle' yelled. Dex shook his head.
"Ghosts. Why did it have to be ghosts?" he muttered.
"What's this business? The Blues are giving up?" Sarge asked, understandably confused. "I smell a trap. Or a rat. Or a rat and a trap. Don't accept it Simmons!"
"Wasn't gonna," the maroon soldier muttered, then stepped up to the edge of the base and called out, "you can't surrender Blues! We haven't attacked you yet! Go home and wait for us to attack, then you can surrender!"
"Wait, if we accept, that would mean we have two surrenders and they would have none. That means we win!" Dex said. Rick blinked.
"Win what?" he asked. Dex faltered, having lost track of his train of thought.
"I... I don't know. The war? Or something... right?"
"Sometimes, you can be a right idiot," Rick said, shaking his head at the other man.
"But I can be a genius at others!" Dex countered with a hidden grin. Rick just sighed, shaking his head, and turned his attention back to what was happening. It appeared that whoever was in control of Eagle's armor was having trouble with his pronouns and couldn't order his thoughts properly because of it. They watched as the cyan solider slowly turned to 'Eagle.' Dex swore he heard the man ask, 'Are you becoming retarded?' It was nearly too much and Dex was sent into a minor coughing fit trying to keep the chuckles down.
"What should we do sir?" Rick asked, ignoring the wheezing Dex beside him and focusing on the main point of 'Eagle's rambling. 'Accept the surrender and you get back the robot and your sniper.'
"I'm torn between my intense distrust of the blue team, and the plans stored in my favorite robotic creation!" Sarge said in his usual rough voice, which was halfway between yelling and speaking.
"Hey! Eagle left his sniper rifle with me. Rick! Take it and shoot at the Blues! Then they'll be under attack, and can surrender!" Dex said, tossing the aforementioned rifle to his teammate.
"Why not shoot yourself?" Rick asked. The pair ignored Sarge's chuckle and following 'there's an idea! Good thinking Simmons!'
"Because, Sarge is so into the Blood Gulch illusion, even if I came up with the most amazing plan ever, of all time, he'd still say I was an idiot. But if you propose the same plan, Sarge will accept it. So, if you would?" Dex said, motioning toward the Blues, a might bit impatient. Rick shrugged, brought the rifle up, and shot.
"OW! Mother of Fudge!" they heard Tucker scream, indicating a direct hit.
"Okay. Now you're under attack. Go ahead and surrender Blue," Rick said, still sighting down the rifle.
"Good thinking Simmons!" Sarge praised.
"See? Sarge never takes me or my ideas seriously," Dex said, crossing his arms. Rick sighed.
"Yeah. Duly noted Grif. Duly noted," he said, feeling for his brother-in-arms.
"They surrender!" 'Eagle' yelled. The Red's, however, saw the cyan soldier readying his gun and could just pick out, or perhaps Marley was re-routing audio from The Ghost to their helmets, the man saying, 'Fudge this, I'm pissed. Let's fight.' Dex began to shake ever so slightly while Rick smirked dangerously, reaching down with one hand to finger a knife belted to his thigh.
"Let them come. There is one soldier yet in Red Base that still draws blood," the IT wizard muttered darkly.
"Really? You're using modified LotR quotes now?" Dex asked, pulling out his favorite pistol. Rick shrugged.
"Just relieving tension, Orange. Just relieving tension," he said.
"Now that you have been thoroughly humiliated by our superior military strategy, we demand the return of our robot and our pink private!" Sarge called out to the Blues, skillfully ignoring his other two privates.
"Okay, but there's one catch!" 'Eagle' called back.
"Oh what now?" Dex moaned.
"Sarge, they want you to build two robots for their team. One for each prisoner they're releasing," 'Eagle' finished.
"Hey! That wasn't part of the agreement!" Rick yelled back angrily.
"Hey, calm down there Double Dutch. Let's consider this carefully. Anyone else wondering why we're negotiating with Eagle Eye? An unbound Eagle Eye?" Dex said curiously.
"Hey yeah. Sarge, isn't it odd that we're negotiating with an unbound Eagle Eye? Or, ya know, Eagle in general?" Rick said, turning to Sarge, who had once again 'not heard' Dex. The older soldier hummed, mulling it over, then shrugged.
"They must have made it clear it was in his best interest to play along," he said. Dex sighed and tapped out, 'Ask him if he's going to build the robots,' against his thigh. Rick rolled his eyes, but understood Dex not wanting to waste his breath on someone who didn't care to listen.
"You gonna build the robots?"
"Hum. I don't know. I don't like this."
"Neither do we... er. I. But... what could they want two robots for? If I'm right... they should only need one," Rick said, watching Dex's fingers carefully.
"What kind of model did you have in mind!" Sarge yelled toward the Blues.
"Sarge?"
"It can't hurt to have information, Simmons."
"I guess make them just like Lopez, only just a shell, no intelligence," the 'Eagle' called back. "Oh and no Spanish! And a bigger switch!"
"Okay!" Sarge called back while Dex and Rick shared a look, signing to each other.
'Why would he want a bigger switch?' they asked as one.
'No clue man,' they again signed as one, grinning under their helmets.
"You got a deal! Meet us at the center of the canyon at 0600 and we'll make the exchange!" Sarge yelled, not seeing the silent conversation, such as it was, behind his back.
"Deal!" 'Eagle' shouted back.
/*/
The foreign presence left Eagle, making him let out some rather amusing sounds. As full awareness came back to him, he decided to act as though he had no knowledge of what had just happened. "Whoa. Where am I? What happened?" he asked.
"We were just talking to your friends," Caboose said, "but you are going to stay with us now for a while."
"Oh are we going to have a sleep over? Because that would be sweet!" Eagle asked, playing up the 'stupid and niave' angle. It worked with the pink armor. Tough and gritty would be reserved for his burgundy armor. It worked better there.
"You're a nice lady," Caboose said after a moment of silence as he processed what Eagle had said. For his part, the sniper blinked while mentally screaming that he was a man and when he was given the go ahead, he was going to gun for Caboose first for all these slights to his manhood.
"Oh Blue Team!" Sarge sang out, causing Eagle to turn toward the base, mental snarling still going full steam ahead. "Before ya go, maybe we should talk about optional equipment on your new robots." Eagle smirked. There it was. Sarge's 'grand plan to defeat the Blues.' He knew Sarge wouldn't just give Blue Team perfectly good robots.
"What optional equipment?" Tucker, being the only Blue currently within earshot with two brain cells to rub together, called back.
"All you said was you wanted a body. We didn't talk about features~!"
"Like what?"
"Ya know, like undercoating. Extended warranty. Features man, come on! Like, do you want them to be able to use both arms at once?"
"Of course!"
"Asynchronous arm movement is~... optional!" Sarge called. Eagle chuckled quietly.
'He's really having fun with this, isn't he?' the sniper pondered, leaning against the tree in the middle of the canyon.
"What?! Ah man, I told Church they would try to mess us up! What about the feet?"
"Do you want feet?"
"Yeah we want the feet!"
"Sorry! Feet are optional!" Eagle was really fighting not to laugh. Sarge was really having fun with this, he could tell.
"What's on the bottom of it's legs?!"
"Legs are optional."
"Aw man what a rip off."
"Options are optional!" Eagle thought he saw Dex lean against the 'walls' on top of the base. He was fairly sure that, if he was, it was to keep himself from falling over from repressed laughter. Dex had one heck of a 'funny bone.'
"What isn't optional?!"
"You look like a nice guy, don't worry, we'll work something out. Have you thought about financing? How's your credit? I can offer you a free high quality pair of mudflaps! And a luuuuuuube job! Ya won't be disappointed! I've been told my luube jobs are fantastic!""
"I thought it was Eagle's job to make those kinds of jokes?" Dex's voice said over the helmet mics. Eagle grinned.
"Aw, let him have his fun. I'm rather enjoying this," he said.
"Ah! So, back in the saddle huh?"
"Yeah. Tell ya all about it later, okay?"
"Deal. Don't forget," Dex said, before he cut the connection.
"No thank you! I just want two full robots, with all their limbs and armor and weapons, but without the artificial intelligence!" Tucker called back. Eagle snickered quietly to himself and slid up to the already retreating Tucker.
"You may want to get that in writing man. Sarge is slippery ya know. Comes from all those luuube jobs," he said. He drew immense pleasure in the jump he got in return. A few more low chuckles escaped before he sped up a little to draw abreast with Caboose.
"You enjoyed that, didn't you?" Marley asked him.
"Hello Ghost lady!" Eagle said cheerily, giggling when he saw Tucker edge away from him slightly. "Yes, I am enjoying myself immensely!"
"Well, I'll be watching out for you, but it wouldn't be wise for us to keep the radios open for long. O'Malley the aggressive A.I. is on the loose."
"Oh yeah! Thanks for reminding me. I think it's with Doc."
"Doc? The medic who can't do diddly?"
"Yep."
"I see. Nothing we can do about it right now. Just be cautious okay? No telling what will happen on that front."
"You'll let the others know?"
"Yeah. Ghost out."
/?/
A/N: And Season 2 draws to a close. Hope there's enough originality in here to be interesting for long term fans.
A/N 2: Ah Eagle. He's a little hared to write than the others, but he's just so fun! As always, spelling and continuity have been checked and edited. 8/18/16