Disclaimer: I don't own RvB.
Episode 28: The Revenge of Blood Gulch
Rick easily found Red and Eagle, and brought them to the jeep. "Now! What's all this about?" Red asked, seeing just how tense his men were.
"Distress call. Heavy fire," Rick said tersely, hopping onto the gunner platform. Eagle sighed.
"And we were all just starting to get along," he said mournfully, joining Rick on the now crowded gunner platform.
"Yeah, I'm so going to be losing sleep over this," Dex drawled, sarcasm dripping from his words. "You said you locked the coordinates into the nav computer?" he checked.
"Yes. Drive," Rick snapped back. Dex shook his head and gave Red as pointed a look as he could from behind his visor.
"Aw fine. But only because you're the best driver and Eagle's worthless at close range," Red said, hopping into the passenger seat.
"Wait," Dex said, turning to look at Red, "what does any of that have to do with anything?" he asked in a dangerous tone.
"I would have had you distract the Blues," Red replied. Dex growled, and put the petal to the metal without warning... aside from the growl. Red had a special way of making him... displeased shall we say.
"I told you!" they heard Tucker yell as they sped away. No-one paid it any mind, there were more important things to worry about at the moment.
"So, what was the distress signal?" Red asked, holding tight to the roll-bar of the speeding Warthog.
"Didn't say much beyond 'distress' and 'help,'" Dex ground out, still speeding away. "Didn't say who or where."
"It was on the Red Army open channel! That means it's a Red! Rick, did you tra..." Red said, only to cut himself off with a yell as Dex swung around a tree at breakneck .
"Don't know how far, but we have a direction. Now shut up and let me drive idiot!" the driver snarled. Red wisely decided to shut up. Generally, he could get a read on how ticked off Dex was by how he drove. Judging by the speed and hair-pin turns, Dex was royally ticked and not to be trifled with. Red rather valued his continued well being.
/*/
Marley was waiting for the Reds, out of sight in the cloaked Phantom, when they came out of the cave system high on the cliff wall. "Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!" Marley chuckled.
"They're ba~ck!" she sang in evil glee, watching Dex beat his head against the dashboard of Red Team's stolen Warthog. Flowdie shook his head at her.
"You're really a mad, mad, woman, ya know that?" He just got laughed at. "Yeah. That's... kinda what I was expecting," Flowdie said with a sigh. He sat there, watching the Reds, for ten minutes. The only thing that happened... Dex screamed 'no.' "Yeah... forget this," Flowdie said, and dropped to the canyon floor. It was time for target practice.
/*/
half an hour after arriving back at Blood Gulch, Eagle asked "Hey... is he ever gonna stop screaming? He's been up there for almost an hour." Red growled and turned to Rick.
"See if you can shut him up. I don't care if he stays there, but he's screaming is getting on my nerves!" he ordered Red Team's resident geek. Rick nodded and headed out to where Dex was refusing to move.
"Hey Dex! Shut up and get down here! Help me check Blue Base!" he yelled, not really trying too hard to get the weapons expert to calm down.
"No! No! Noooooooooooooooooooooohoooooooooooohohohoooooooooooo!" Dex yelled back. Rick sighed.
"Yeah, he's not listening," he reported tonelessly, about ready to go start inventory on his own, just for something to do.
"Nooooo actually that time I was answering your question nooooooooooooo!" Dex yelled. The others all sighed while Dex continued to yell.
"Go up and get him, would ya?" Red asked Rick, rather irritated by the continuous yelling.
"Hope he doesn't pass out and fall off the cliff," Eagle commented. Red nearly canceled the order... then noticed Rick hadn't moved. "Hey, I have an idea," Eagle said, pulling out Betty. Red chuckled and Flowdie took a shot.
"What the?" they all asked, Flowdie popping out the spent shell.
"I was getting tired of all the yelling," he said, then fired again. A splatter of cyan paint appeared on the rock just shy of Dex. "Here," he said, tossing the other two sniper rifles and passing out paint rounds. "Target practice on me."
"Awesome," Rick said, lining up a shot and taking it, making Dex move out of the way with a yelp and a 'noooooo!' Three more shots, three more near dodges, and still more 'nooo!'s.
"Close," Red grunted, a little impressed with Rick's improvement with a sniper rifle.
"Thanks," Rick said, popping the empty shell out of his rifle and taking aim once more, "I've been practicing."
"NOOOOOO!" yelled... eh, you know. Another shot then...
"Hey guys, how's it going?" Marley asked, walking up.
"Pretty good. We're playing the best game since Grifball," Red said. "Grab a sniper and join in!"
"I'm not coming down!" Dex yelled. Eagle sent another paint round flying at him, and he dodged it just like all the others. "Hey Grif! Move back and forth like those ducks at the carnival!" Red yelled, taking another shot. Dex ducked making the shot go over his head. "No! Don't duck! Act like a duck!" Red yelled as Marley took a shot. A shot that grazed his shoulder.
"Alright fine! I'm comin' down!" he yelled at them. Sarge fired and hit him in the back. "FOUL! I said I'm coming down!"
"Hyaha! Buzzer beater! Take that you stupid duck!" Red yelled, then got cuffed by Marley. "What..."
"Dex called foul, I concurred, and you got penalized. Welcome to the game," she told him flatly, Flowdie snickering behind her.
"Wait... if you two are here... and there was a distress sig..." Rick began, but Marley held up a hand and stopped him.
"Church actually did go to the past. He tried to save his captain..."
"So that's what happened! I wondered," Flowdie said, rubbing his arm. Marley patted him in a consoling manner, then turned back to her rapt audience.
"He tried to save himself, but ended up making sure he got blown up by turning the friendly fire protocol off on the tank. Next, he tried to save Tex, but he's such a crap shot, he missed every time."
"Wait, hold up, did you just curse?" Dex asked, waving his hands in front of him. Marley shrugged.
"It was really the only way to describe Church's negative skill with a sniper rifle. Or, any gun for that matter," she said.
"Oh. Then, please, continue," Dex said, now motioning her on. She nodded and continued.
"So... that went on. And on. And on. And then he went to Sidewinder and... did basically the same thing, failing and getting sent back to the 'start point' over and over again. It was pretty crazy and I honestly don't have all the details. I still don't know just how that one copy got yellow armor!" The Reds shared a look before giving her their attention again. "So anyway, after you went to Sidewinder with Tex and Tucker, Eagle, Church came out and talked to Sheila, telling her to wait, give it something like a thousand years, then send a distress signal. Obviously, she didn't wait a thousand years, as a thousand years haven't passed. She waited a year then got bored and started transmitting, using a recording from Battle Creek. Hence the high pitch of the voice," Marley finished.
"So... there's really no reason for us to be here?" Rick asked, quivering. Marley grinned under her helmet.
"Oh, I wouldn't say that," she remarked, cracking her knuckles. Dex sighed, shaking his head.
"I hate my life," he moaned... right before he got sent flying three feet into the air and kicked twenty feet across the canyon.
"Sucks to be you!" Flowdie yelled, firing on the other Reds with wild abandon... and Freelancer Lock Down paint. Oh yes, it was a good day to be a Phantom in Blood Gulch.
/*/
The beating lasted for the rest of the day before they were allowed to rest. Marley was happily whistling as she cleaned her gear and Flowdie was practicing his first aid on the moaning Reds. "You're a brutal daughter of evil," Eagle said, wincing as even talking pulled at tender muscles.
"Look, we've got at best two weeks before Church arrives back here. I'm gonna milk those two week for all I can. Which means teaching you," here Marley nudged Eagle with the toe of her boot, making him groan, "some close combat skills, even if I have to literally beat them into you. Which means, the toughest warm-ups ever in the morning followed by three one on five close combat no-holds-bared rounds, followed by Flowdie taking the others aside for their usual training and me staying behind, one on one, with you. You will hate me, with a fiery passion. You will hurt, no matter what you do. You will, however, improve. I'm not sure by how much, but you will improve." Eagle moaned once more as Marley concluded her speech.
"Just kill me now and spare me the agony!" he whimpered. The two Ex-Freelancers shared a look, then burst out laughing. Once they could breath without gasping, Marley and Flowdie hauled themselves to their feet, then turned to Eagle. "What?" he squeaked.
"Training starts now, Sniper Boy," Flowdie said, beginning to circle the youngest soldier in the canyon.
"FYI, this also doubles as team training for the rest of you lot. I'll be in charge today, then Red, then Rick, then Dex, then Flowdie, and repeat," Marley explained. "Flank right and engage!" Eagle yelled and ran away as fast as he could. Unfortunately for him, he was too weak and was caught by Flowdie, who tackled him to the ground, knocking the breath out of him and ending the round. "Aw come on! At least try Frank!" Flowdie shook his head, giving Eagle more space. Hey, he had to give the kid some kind of a handicap. That round ended much the same as the first, but the third round came with a surprise. Dex defected and singled out Red. The resulting fight was too much of a spectacle to pass up and the others all stopped fighting to watch. Dex had abandoned weapons for laying into the older soldier with his fists. Red was good, which meant the fight lasted a while, but by the end, the veteran was on the ground with Dex standing over him, breathing heavily. "That's for the past three years, Sarge," he informed the older man before he trudged off to find some water. Marley shook her head.
"Well that was a long time coming," she remarked dryly.
/*/
By the end of the day, Eagle was knocked out and the other Reds were walking bruises. "So, I heard you'd made a deal with Church. Everything he knows on Freelancer for information on you guys," Marley mentioned to Dex. He sighed.
"It was the only way to get him to stop asking questions and focus on the matter at hand. Namely, O'Malley," he told her.
"Yeah, speaking of... Rick, what did you do?" Marley asked, turning toward the IT guy.
"Um... I... may have... stabbed him with an A.I. capture unit?" Rick responded nervously. Marley sighed, cradling her head in her palm.
"And how well did that work?" she asked.
"Well, it captured O'Malley, but he broke free while I wasn't looking, stole Doc, and Lopez's head, and ran away from Tex," Rick answered. Marley sighed.
"I was afraid of that. Oh well, at least we know the tactic has merit. I'd have preferred you not hurt Doc, but I understand why you did. There was no other option," she said. Rick sighed.
"Still... the scream he gave... " he said, looking away. Marley sighed, laying a hand on his shoulder.
"Forcefully extracting an A.I. like Omega is... taxing on the host. I'm not surprised he screamed bloody murder," she told him.
"Yeah, for some reason, that doesn't make me feel any better," Rick said before turning in for the night. Marley sighed again.
"I know, Rick. It never helps," she said to the still corridor before she too went to bed.
/*/
True to her word, Marley ran her men ragged. And Eagle did improve over the next week. He now lasted twenty seconds fighting against all five of them as opposed to one second of running away. "You're right. I hate you," Eagle whispered as he lay, spread eagle, on the floor of Red Base. Marley shook her head.
"I'm sorry, truly I am, but you needed to learn, Eagle. And you are improving. It's just... slow going," she said. Eagle passed out.
"Heh, nice going. Ya finally killed him," Dex remarked. He too had improved, though it wasn't as easy to see.
"Nah, he's fine. Just worn out," Marley said, covering the young man with a blanket. "Tomorrow's off boys. I suggest you take this opportunity to rest." This suggestion was greeted with great enthusiasm from the whole group. "Though, I want you to go Agent and helmetless tomorrow," Marley added.
"Why? I thought you said to fly under the radar?" Dex said. Marley chuckled.
"This base is just a few steps away from being decommissioned and declared obsolete. Freelancer isn't watching this canyon very closely at all," she said. "That's why I've been training you here. And now... I need you all to realize, fully, who your comrades are. That Red Team and Project Red are one and the same. Some of you," here Marley looked at Red, "seem to have a bit of trouble with that. So! This is my solution. Tell Eagle when he wakes up would you? Thanks." And with that, Marley vanished into the gloom.
/*/
Eagle stared. It was Orange... but he didn't have his helmet on. "Wow," he said, shaking his head, helmet still on. "I knew you were Grif, but still," he said. Dex chuckled, holding out a hand.
"Marley told us that as long as we wore our Agent armor, minus the helmet, we had today off," he said. Eagle allowed himself to be hauled up, then swiftly changed to his burgundy armor and took off his helmet. Dex blinked at Eagle's face, then chuckled. "I see what you mean. That is a bit odd." Eagle smirked.
"Eh, I think we'll get used to it," he said, making his way to his room to stow his helmet. When he arrived at the kitchen a few minutes later, he paused in the door way for a moment and took in the sight of Red and Maroon unmasked.
"Hey! Sleeping Beauty!" Rick called, smirking at the younger man. Eagle smiled back and went to get some breakfast.
"Don't call me that," the sniper said, then threw his fork to the table, bouncing handle first off Rick's forehead to land perfectly in Eagle's spot. "Ever," the young man said as he sat down and began to eat his eggs. Rick shared a look with Red.
"Right. Still a little tough to get used to that," the techie told his official CO.
"Like I told Dex when he got me up, I think we'll get used to it," Eagle said with a smirk, sipping his orange juice.
"Yeah. I totally know what you guys mean," Dex said, walking in with an open can of soda. He sat down, leaning back with a smirk.
"Alright, we're all here. Now what?" Red asked. Eagle rolled his eyes and gathered the two other plates from the table.
"Well, we could play a game. This is our one day off, I say we make the most of it," he said.
"Pit," Dex said, pulling a deck of cards out of his pocket. Rick smirked and matched him. Red sighed, but said,
"Deal me in."
/*/
Flowdie shook his head at Marley, who was watching the training videos of the past week. "You're going to strain your eyes, my love." She snorted.
"Please. I'm a doctor, I think I know what might happen. And how to treat it," she said, replaying a scene from the day before. Flowdie sighed, a soft, fond smile on his face as he leaned over her shoulder so he could reach the controls.
"Not the point, Love," he said, shutting off the monitor.
"HEY!" Marley yelled, gaping at the black screen, currently unable to understand why Flowdie would do that to her.
"The guys are playing Pit over at Red Base. Wanna join in?" Flowdie asked. Marley glared at him.
"No. I don't. I need to learn..." she said, but Flowdie put a finger over her lips. If he hadn't still been wearing his gauntlets, she would have bit him. As it was, she didn't fancy biting titanium plates. He smiled at her, glare and all.
"You'll learn nothing from these videos that you didn't learn in the fight. Not the way you're going about it," he said, nodding toward the black monitor. "Now, how about we take an hour or so to relax, and hang out with our boys when there isn't a major catastrophe waiting to happen or rigorous training under way." Marley sighed, but stood and walked toward the door.
"Fine. You've convinced me. Let's go. Oh wait!" She spun around and stalked into the kitchen. A moment later she walked out with a bottle of soda and three bags of chips.
"Hey! You're gonna give them our entire stock?!" Flowdie squeaked, following after her. She laughed.
"If we're going to relax and hang out, we're going to need snacks!" she said, dancing out of his way as she made her way to Red Base.
/*/
O'Malley, meanwhile, was having quite a time staying ahead of Tex. But finally, finally, he lost her. Something about a quest and treasure, and he was fairly sure Wyoming was there too... eh. No matter. It wasn't his problem. What was his problem, was the voice in his head. Doc. He was worse than ever after his brief moment of freedom. If O'Malley didn't know better, he'd say Doc's mind had been strengthened by the forceful separation rather than weakened, as was the norm. 'So. You're on the run. Like you've always been. Is this what you want to do with your life, O'Malley? Running and hiding and hating? Don't you want to be more? It's possible. I know it is. You just have to believe!'
"Shut up," O'Malley growled. Doc's mental chuckle reverberated in his head, mocking him.
'Ah~! Classic denial. You can't handle the truth. The truth that I'm what you're missing. The fact that I'm right, and you're holding on to past mistakes.'
"Go to sleep!" O'Malley barked, and tried to force Doc even further into the shadows of his own mind. But the medic did not go quietly.
'I am Human, O'Malley. I cannot be ordered 'off line' or into storage. You're in my head, not the other way around.' O'Malley growled at the words, but relaxed slightly as he felt Doc backing down. It was an odd relationship they shared, but as dysfunctional as it was, it somehow worked. Lopez sighed, or rather, his version of a sigh. Things had been rather odd with O'Malley for a while, like, weirder than usual. There were times he wished that crazy old man hadn't built him.
/*/
Marley's plan worked and after their day of rest, Project Red was closer than ever. Though, Red still had a bit of trouble being fully civil to Dex. Still, team relations were quite improved. Over the next week, Eagle improved a bit more. However, he had merely reached the level that Dex had been before Marley got a hold of him. And Marley was cackling. This Doth not Bode Well. And yes, the capital letters were warranted... and needed. Have you ever seen a cackling SPARTAN? From a secret shady experimental project outside the SPARTAN program? Who has a variety of chemicals, drugs, and other liquids and the needed tools and knowledge to inject said liquids into you bloodstream? Yeah, it's about as scary as a Hunter. Run! "Hey Rick, how would you like to mess with the rest of your team?" she asked. He quirked an eyebrow. Okay... things were getting interesting.
"What did you have in mind?" he asked.
"Well... in the visions, you guys spent the whole two weeks mucking about, doing nothings as per usual. And some of the time was taken up by Sarge declaring you insane for seeing Sheila, the tank, and you got banished on the grounds of dementia. Angry, you went to Blue Base, painted yourself blue, and started fighting the Reds. About was well as you had the Blues before I showed up."
"Wait wait wait. You mean to tell me, in all that time, I hadn't gotten even a little bit better?" Rick asked.
"Well, if you had, the others improved right along side you and made it so I couldn't really see the improvement. Plus, it... wasn't exactly life-like. For one thing, you all looked the same height. And for another... I was unprepared for how out of shape Dex was when we started," Marley said, looking away.
"Okay. I can live with that. So, what were you planning? For me to randomly run away and pretend to be a Blue?"
"Hum... you're right. Ah well, looks like Church is just going to have to miss out on being a Troll to all of Red Team. And he had some good lines to! And Sheila! Your dialog with her, trying to convince her the Blues were fighting Space Pirates instead of the Reds was awesome! 'My logical data analysis sector indicates that would be highly unlikely. And my bullshit meter agrees.' HA! Priceless! Even with the swear word!" Mary cackled. Rick sighed, shaking his head.
"Oh, to live in your world. It must be so fun there," he muttered. "So! Was the only reason you wanted me to run away and paint myself blue the entertainment value you'd get out of it? Because that's cheap. Real cheap. Ma'am." Marley sighed and nodded.
"Right. Okay. Well... yeah. Wouldn't work all that well anyway. Right! Time to prepare to at least partially brief Church. Can't let him know about Blood Gulch being part of Freelancer. Or him being Alpha. He'd flip by the way. So... time to get together and figure out what to tell him about Project Red," she said. Agreeing, everyone sat down together in Red Base's 'living room' and hashed out their story. If Marley was right, Church would be arriving in the next day or so.
"What do you say to him arriving to a Project Red style training session?" Eagle asked, though he looked a little apprehensive. The others couldn't blame him. The main focus as of late had been his close combat skills.
"A fine idea! But... we don't want to scare him off, so a free-for-all spar is out. So... tomorrow will be target practice," Marley decided. Eagle let out a breath he'd been unconsciously holding and relaxed back in his seat.
/*/
And so it was that the next day, Church arrived to see all of Red Team firing at two figures that looked a lot like Freelancers. Only, they were wearing... Were those... two human targets strapped together to make a sandwich sign? "Need to anticipate where the enemy is going to be, Eagle! Bullet Lob! Come on!" the maroon one – Simmons? – told the... burgundy one?
"What the... ?" Church quietly questioned. He'd seen some weird stuff, but this was ridiculous! One of the Freelancers must have had super hearing, because it turned to him. Holding up a closed fist, this Freelancer stopped all firing. It then unfolded two fingers, and pointed right at him! "Holy... !" Church began as he threw himself into the brush.
"Hey now, Church. I believe you were ready to uphold your end of our deal?" a vaguely familiar voice said.
"Wait... Dex?" Church asked, poking his head out of the foliage. The orange helmet with that odd gray visor nodded, and the man it belonged to easily lifted the crouching robot out of the bush.
"This, is Agent Black," Dex said, motioning to the Freelancer who had stopped the... training op? Church did his best to straighten himself out, and nodded to the Agent. "She's my... our... training officer, as well as the one we recognize as our direct superior. Tread lightly dude, she's one of the better Freelancers." If he could have, Church would have paled so fast and so much, it would worry just about anyone.
"Agent Black," he said, holding out a hand. Black chuckled and took his hand, giving it a firm shake.
"I understand Orange worked out a mutual disclosure deal with you?" she said and oh man she sounded like Tex!
"R-right. I... I don't know much. Just that all Freelancers were codenamed after an American state back on Earth. And they conducted experiments with A.I. and cybernetics. They're guns for hire with a lot of fancy tech, the best training, few morals, and will do just about anything if ordered... or paid," Church said. Black nodded.
"Yep. That's... basically it. In a nutshell at least. Our over arching mission was so secret, I don't think anyone but the Director knew what it really was. Ah, allow me to properly introduce myself. I am Agent Black of Project Red, formerly Agent Oregon of Project Freelancer. You may call me Marley," she said, voice now a bit more mellow, and a little higher. Church, even though he was a robot, felt himself relax as he shook her hand again.
"Church. Private Leonard L. Church," he said.
"I'm Agent Hippie of Project Red, formerly Agent Florida of Freelancer. Call me Flowdie," the other Freelancer said. Church felt like blinking.
"I didn't know..."
"I was given a... special... assignment. Officially, I died on that assignment. From an Aspirin overdose, of all things," Flowdie said, a hint of bitterness creeping into his voice. Church yelped, letting go of his hand and leaping away.
"Captain Flowers?!" Church yelled. Flowdie chuckled.
"Yeah. Marley... she's a special one. She warned me about you. Told me... how did you word it Marley? Did you mention needles or... ?" he said, turning a puzzled look toward Marley.
"I believe my exact words were, 'don't take any needles from Church, he doesn't know what he's doing,'" the woman replied, and Church could have sworn there was a hint of smugness in her voice. Crazy Freelancer chicks.
"Ah. Yes. Truly, it was an odd conversation. Still, it did save me from death so, yay! Now, Church, I don't want you to get too worked up. If you start feeling uncomfortable, let us know and we'll stop. As you know..." Flowdie began, only to stop as a titanium booted foot impacted on the relatively unarmored back of his knee and then another impacted the top of his helmet. "Ow," he said from the ground. Marley snorted at him.
"And that... is why your codename is Hippie!" she said.
"Yes! It's not a pistol whip or a bullet to the shoulder, but it still counts!" Dex cheered. Church stared at him. "What? Just because I'm an Agent, doesn't mean I'm immune to the crazy that coats this canyon. Or the crazy I was born with and then grew up surrounded by," the orange Agent defended with a shrug. Church shrugged.
"Eh, I guess you have a point," he said, then looked to Marley. "So... you guys gonna tell me about you now?" Marley nodded.
"Project is a bit of a strong word for our group. Team might be better, seeing as the entirety of Project Red is standing in front of you," she said.
"Wait. What about all your buddies in space?" Rick asked.
"Those are the Phantoms. Ex-Freelancers like me. They're the ones who went MIA before the MOI crash landed after Tex tried to steal the tortured Alpha A.I. out of Freelancer hands. Or rather, away from the Director, off of whom Alpha had been based," Marley answered. "Though, Flowdie has called Mich and Louie, formerly Michigan and Louisiana, to assist us on a... difficult... mission."
"Wait wait... how many Free..." Church began, but he was cut off in much the same manner as Flowdie.
"They are Freelancers no more. Much like Flowdie, they are officially dead. And if all goes well, I'll be adding another Phantom to my collection. A guy by the code name New York. Rick, Dex, I'm hoping you'll be able to save his life when Tex calls in her favor," Marley said. The aforementioned Agents nodded. "Now... where was I? Oh yes. Well, I decided to... appropriate... Freelancer assets and eventually use them against the Project. I did not anticipate... getting attached. Or... how well the Blood Gulch Reds would take to my training, how much they would be changed. Heck, Dex would be the lazy fat guy if I hadn't stepped in! That right there should tell you how big of an impression I've made on them," she went on, motioning to the impressive figure of Agent Orange.
"Wait wait wait... The one who scares me the most, outside of Tex and before you showed up, would have been the least threatening if you hadn't come around?" Church asked. Marley nodded.
"Physically, and if you never actually had to seriously fight him... or make him mad... then yeah. You just didn't see him like he was before because... well. He was a lazy bum and didn't want to leave the relative safety of the Base all that much. And I arrived a month after he did," she said.
"Wait! I think I remember that day," Rick said. "Wasn't that the day Sarge decided we'd blow up Blue Base, and Grif went off to look for C-4, and we totally failed because he couldn't find any explosives?"
"Wow. Your memory is almost as good as mine. Kudos," Marley said, confirming Rick's observation. "So... yeah. I took this Red Team, member by member, and started training them, taking them on missions, and preparing them to help me take down Freelancer. But now..." she shook her head. "I think of them as my family now."
"Aw~! We love you too, you sadistic mad woman!" Dex remarked, acting like he was getting all choked up. Marley turned to him, stared for a moment, then swept him legs out from under him, slammed his head into the ground, twisted his left arm up behind him, and then hauled him up and out of the ground by said arm. "OW!" Dex yelled, rubbing his shoulder.
"You asked for it," Flowdie said with a shrug. This caused Church to have a double take and Marley to laugh.
"Hehey! You're finally starting to sound more like a guy and less like a motivational poster! Good for you Flowdie!" Marley said, a grin evident in her voice.
"Wait... you did that to Captain Flowers?" Church asked, head whipping around so fast, it would have given a human whiplash.
"Church~. How many times have I told you? Call me Cappy, or Flowers. I don't want..." Flowdie began, only to have Marley slam an obviously broken and abused training rifle into his head, swinging like a baseball player. "Marley~! That hurt!" the ex-Freelancer whined from the ground. Marley huffed, swinging the largely abused rifle onto her shoulder.
"Should'a thougt'a that before you started on the whole 'authority smority' speech of yours. You know how it irritates me when you talk like that!" she said. Church fell to his knees before her.
"Teach me your ways, O Great One!" he called, reaching up plaintively. Marley hummed, tapping the chin of her helmet in a contemplative manner.
"Okay. I'll train you too, since you asked. Burgundy! Got a student for ya!" she barked, turning toward the burgundy Agent.
"Sweet," Eagle said, then turned to Church. "You shall refer to me as 'Sir' or 'Agent.' We are not friends, we are not equals, you are now my punching bag. You will come to hate me... but you will learn." Church did a robot swallow. What had he gotten himself into?
/*/
While training the other Reds with a game of three-on-two paintball, Marley chuckled as Church's scream echoed in the canyon. "OH COME ON! OWWW!"
"Wow. I never knew Eagle could be such a slave driver," Dex remarked, dodging a shot from Flowdie.
"Yeah, I have a feeling there's a lot you guys don't know about each other, even after all this time," Marley said. Red shrugged, trying and failing to shoot her.
"Eh, we get along alright."
"Ha! You've tried to kill me practically every other day! I'm honestly surprised I've managed to live this long," Dex shot back, clipping Flowdie on the leg. The older man responded by shooting him in the face, taking him out of the training session. Wiping the paint from his visor with the special compound Marley had developed for just such a thing, Dex made his way over to where Eagle was training Church. He leaned against a pillar of rock, out of sight, to watch. Eagle was brisk, succinct, and very strict.
"No," he said, whacking Church's hand with a length of metal from a busted Warthog, "your hand goes here." Church repositioned himself and Eagle gave a short nod. "Remember, this weapon is your life. Lose it, you're dead. Miss, you're dead. Hit in the wrong spot, you're dead. Hit in the right spot, you live. Now. Hit dead center, or I hit you." Church nodded and fired.
"OWW!"
"Warned you. Again!" Eagle said simply, crossing his arms and tapping his shoulder with his cudgel. Church grumbled, but took aim and fired, missed, and got whacked again. "Are you even using your scope?" Eagle asked, incredulous.
"I don't know how!"
"Well. There's easily half your problem," Eagle said, then plopped down, crossing his legs, and pulled his own rifle, Betty, off his back to lay across his knees. "These, are the scope controls," he said, pointing to a myriad of buttons on the side of the weapon. He then proceeded to outline what each and every button did, as well as a basic guideline on when and how to use said functions. "Now. Break your rifle down, reassemble it, load a round, and fire. Take your time, but remember, if you're spotted before you can take the shot, you and your team are dead," Eagle said, standing and replacing his rifle, taking up his Whacking Stick as he did so. Church made a sound like swallowing, and did as he was instructed, though he got Whacked halfway through.
"OW! WHAT?!" he protested.
"You're doing it wrong. This part goes there not there," Eagle said, correcting the Blue. "Start over."
"Aw man!" Church whined, but did as he was told. Ghost with a robot body or not, Eagle's hits hurt! Eagle Whacked him again. "What was that for?!"
"Make sound, you're spotted. You're spotted, you're dead. You're dead, your team has no cover. Your team has no cover, they're dead," Eagle said, impassive. Church groaned, quietly, and set to work. Dex smirked and contacted Eagle over Project Red's channel.
"Slave driver," he said cheekily. "You're enjoying this aren't you?"
"Oh ho, yeah. Big time," Eagle said, and Dex could hear the grin in his comrade's voice. He chuckled.
"Think he can ever learn?"
"With time... maybe. If I can at least get him hitting the target, he'll be doing alright," Eagle replied. Dex chuckled again.
"I'm actually kind of surprised he's reacting to your hits. You remember what Marley told us of him, right?"
"Yeah. It is indeed odd but... eh. I'm not complaining. Now I understand why Marley has so much fun training us," Eagle responded, then Whacked Church for another mistake, though it was a relatively small one.
"A little hard on him, don't you think?"
"A small mistake can lead to bigger problems. I want him to know his weapon. Ya know?" Dex hummed, nodding. He did indeed know. He wasn't called a weapons expert for nothing after all.
"Carry on. I need to get back to Marley's training," he told his comrade and got an acknowledgment light in response. Nodding, Dex was to put action to words and joined the free-for-all, gunning for Sarge.
/*/
That night, Eagle came back to Red Base whistling. "Someone's in a good mood," Dex remarked, amused. Eagle chuckled and pulled a root beer from the fridge.
"I got to spend the day whacking Church in the head with part of a busted Warthog. Who wouldn't be in a good mood from that?" he asked rhetorically. Dex chuckled as well and glanced over at the moaning form of Red.
"I can relate," he said with evil glee. Following his teammate's line of sight, Eagle winced.
"Man, I'm sure glad I'm not Red right now," he said, popping open his drink. "You're a beast, ya know that?" Dex shrugged, still smirking.
"So I've been told," he said easily. Eagle and Rick shared a look before turning to their dinner. The next three days were much the same until Tucker and Caboose returned to the canyon. Eagle noticed them coming and quickly vanished into the rocks, returning to Red Base and convincing his teammates to go Standard. Not long after, Dex got a call. He sighed, but accepted. "Agent Orange," he said.
"I'm calling in that favor. You willing to work with an extra Freelancer?" Tex said. Dex sighed again.
"Specialization?" he asked, hoping he wasn't going to be redundant.
"Infiltration and long range support, though he's handy in just about any fight," Tex responded. And was it his imagination, or did she sound... hopeful?
"Personality?" the Red probed, quirking an unseen eyebrow.
"Fairly laid back. May hold a grudge over a training accident that damaged one of his eyes." Dex nodded.
"Just you, me, and this lock guy?" he asked.
"York. And... yeah. I'm pretty sure the three of us can handle Wyoming," Tex responded. Dex quirked an eyebrow.
"Wyoming? Okay, now I'm seriously considering this," he said.
"You can't turn it down. That's not how a favor works," Tex shot back and did she sound... worried? Dex chuckled, smirking.
"No need to get so worked up, Agent Texas. But really, you should have lead with 'I found Wyoming.' I would have said yes without even considering who else I'd be working with," he said. Tex let out a long breath. Then sent over the coordinates and ended the call. "So. Me, Tex, and York against Wyoming, huh?"
"Sounds like it," Marley confirmed.
"I request medical back up."
"Good, because I would have tagged along regardless." Dex chuckled and headed off to gather his gear. A few minutes later Flowdie was hiding in the caves while Marley and Dex were en-route to the coordinates Tex had sent to The Ghost.
/?/
A/N: Yes. I condensed most of Season 4 into one chapter. I did it cause I can! And because I wanted to focus on Red Team and what they were doing, rather than Tucker and Caboose's pointless quest with Crunchbite. Up next, Out of Mind! Saving York! Beating Wyoming senseless! Interrogation! Inducting York into the Project? Eh, maybe later, like after the other two Blues come back to Blood Gulch.
A/N 2: Most of the edits for this one were spelling and when they arrived back at Blood Gulch. As well as when Dex left for the Wyoming mission. 8/25/16