Disclaimer: I don't own RvB. I'm just playing in Rooster Teeth's sandbox and messing up their timeline. Ya know, the usual FanFiction fare.
Episode 30: A Family Matter
Kai was excited. She was headed to her first post! And then, she was there. Looking out the window, Kai saw two guys staring at her ship. Walking toward the big bay door, she began knocking on the wall, though she didn't get an answering knock. Instead, the door opened to reveal the two guys she'd seen out the window, framed in the door. "Hey!" she called happily. Maybe they were her new comrades! One seemed to freeze for a moment. He said something she couldn't quite make out before he said,
"Kai?" Was that her brother's voice? It sounded kinda like him, but there was something off about it, something she couldn't place.
"That'd be my name!" she said, perkily. He didn't look much like her brother, she didn't remember him being that tall, but if it was her brother, all the better. She'd missed him.
"What are you doing here, Kai?! The army is no place for you!" the guy declared, the other turning to him ever-so-slightly. Kai bristled. No-one told her what she could and couldn't do!
"Yeah?! Well you can't stop me! You're not my dad!" Kai shouted back, irritated. She was starting to seriously consider the possibility of this soldier actually being her brother, as unlikely as it was. What were the odds of her getting the same post as Dexter?
"And thank heavens for that!" the guy, who sounded a lot like her brother when he actually got mad enough to shout, yelled. "I may have been named after him, but I will never be my father!" Kai gasped. So she hadn't been wrong. It was her brother's typical response, but... she had to be sure.
"Dex?" she asked. The other guy shook his head.
"Please don't tell me she's your sister," he moaned.
"Sorry~! But she is," Dex answered with a sigh.
"Well... snap. I suppose we'll just need to take her back to Red Base," the still unnamed Other Guy said.
"Red? I was sent here by the Blue guys!" Kai exclaimed. This time, both stilled, like their armor locked up.
"Rick... can you hack into Command's database and take her off the Blue roster? Transfer her to Red Team?" Dex asked. The other guy, Rick, shook his head. "Right," Dex said with a nod, then pointed to her. "You're going back and quitting. That, or I'm taking your armor and destroying it before sending you back home," he declared. Kai gaped at him.
"You can't do that!" she protested. Dex laughed.
"Oh yes I can!" he denied. "This is a dangerous place, Kai. I just want what's best for you, little sis." Kai sighed.
"Dex..." she began, but they were interrupted by Church, even if Kai didn't know that was who it was.
/*/
While Rick and Dex checked out the ship, Red stayed outside and on the look out for Blues. Undoubtedly they had been alerted of the ship's arrival by the tremendous crash. Sure enough, three minutes later, Church ran up. "What the fudge are you guys doing out here, breaking the canyon?" he asked.
"Fudge off Blue. This here ship crashed on one of our guys. Rick and Dex are interrogatin' the pilot," Red told him, arms crossed in a clear signal for the other man to back off.
"Where'd it come from?" Church asked, eying the spacecraft and completely ignoring Red's threatening posture.
"It's a spaceship. It came from space," drawled Dex, striding down the open door and sounding rather irritated with the world in general. "Oh and, I already called both dibs and shotgun. This is my ship. No take backs," he declared, crossing his arms and leaning against the wall of the ship.
"What?" asked Church, mentally bemoaning his loss. Come on, it was a pelican class drop ship! Wouldn't you like to say you had one of those parked behind your house?
"Yeah. And we're still trying to figure things out with the pilot. So... why don't you go check on your little Alien victim?" Dex added. Church grumbled, but left... along with Shelia.
"Now what was with the yell'n and laghin'?" Red asked Dex, turning to confront the weapons expert.
"Well, ya see..." Dex trailed off. Red barely managed to refrain from helmet palming. Yeah... this was going to be interesting.
/*/
Doc was staring at Tucker's 'baby', lost in thought, when Church ran up to him. "Hey Doc, we've got problems man. I need to call Command," he said. Doc barely heard him, still staring at the baby. He was wondering... what traits had the child inherited from his human parent? Did all of his race procreate this way? Would the child be able to learn human speech, or would it only speak in blargs, honks, and harghs? "Hello? Earth to Doc. I mean, this place, to Doc," Church tried again. Doc shook himself from his thoughts and turned to Church.
"Don't you want to say hello to our new friend?" he asked, looking back down toward the child.
"What?" Church asked, following Doc's gaze. A very small, teal alien looked back up at him and 'honk'ed curiously. "I don't... I c-I can't, I can't I don't, this is..." the de-facto leader of Blue Team stammered, looking at the little creature.
"Take your time. This is a big moment," Doc said bracingly.
"Blarg," said the little... Tucker? Tucker was the cyan soldier's family name, right? So this would be a Tucker as well. Hum... Tucker Jr.? Eh, it'd have to work until Tucker Sr. could come up with a better name.
"I can't deal with this right now," Church said. 'Oh. He regained control of his speech,' Doc noted.
"Hnnnk!" Tucker Jr... noised... in... was it reproach? Eh, it was hard to tell.
"Shut up, you're disgusting," Church told the innocent child before looking at Doc. "Doc, what is Vic's number?"
"What for?" Doc asked.
"For reinforcements. Wait, unless, you've had like, specialized combat training in the last ten minutes," Church responded in his usual tone, which was equally sarcastic, rude, and irritated.
"Uh, nope," Doc said, being immune to said tone. Perhaps O'Malley had done something for him after all, desensitizing him to this kind of thing.
"Then yeah, reinforcements," Church said decisively.
"Well, I did just change a dirty diaper..." Doc remarked, mentally shivering at the memory. It wasn't combat, but perhaps it could be considered mental training?
"That doesn't count," Church told him firmly.
"I don't know," Doc said with a chuckle that to him sounded mildly bitter. "It was a real doozey. Number two."
"Doc, focus! Vic's number, what is it?" Church said.
"Come on Church, everybody remembers Vic's number! Didn't he ever teach you the song?" Church groaned. Ah, so he remembered.
"Oh right. Vic's jingle," he muttered. Doc grinned and sang the song from memory.
"If you want to talk, don't email. And don't you click, clickclickclick, just call me up at five five five V-I-C-K."
"You know, it probably would have been more memorable if it rhymed. Or if his name actually ended in a K," Church remarked drily, turning away slightly and dialing Vic.
"Oh, music is a great way to learn things. That's how I studied for the MCAT," Doc said. Church turned to him sharply, clearly disbelieving.
"You passed the MCAT?" he asked. Doc laughed.
"Not even close," he said, and wasn't that a great personal failure? "But you should really hear my rendition of the Kelly Clarkson song "Miss Independence." It teaches you all about the lymphatic system," he said, then began to sing, though Church told him to shut up before he got past the first line. Tucker Jr. honked loudly in... was it agreement? Yeesh, not even a full day old and the kid's making fun of him. Why couldn't he catch a break?
"And do me a favor, kill that freaky thing would ya?" Church added. Doc sighed. Such a violent person. "Vic! Hey, it's Church," Church said, apparently having connected. "Hey Vic, this is Church. I need ta..." Doc frowned. Hadn't Church already identified himself? Why was he repeating himself? Church sighed. "Okay, okay, come on." Doc quirked an eyebrow. What was going on? Oh, how he wished he could hear the other side of the conversation! "I know how to leave a goshdarn message!" Church snarled. Doc looked down at Tucker Jr., wondering if he should try covering the kid's ears. "Really, hang up, no schist. I was just gonna keep talkin' until he decided to check his voice mail." Okay, Doc had to admit, that was a prime example of sarcasm. "Just give me the darn beep!" Wow. Church was really getting fed up. "Come on!" A beat passed and then... "I will freaking stab you computer phone lady." Hum. Doc had a feeling the 'I'm-gritting-my-teeth' voice was angrier than his loud shouts. "There is no eleven you fudging witch!"
"Ooh, language," Doc admonished.
"I hate you!" Church yelled into his radio. Finally, it seemed Church had gotten to the voice mailbox. "Vic, it's Church, I need y..." he said, then cut off before making a highly aggravated sound and muttering, "I'm gonna kill myself. I'm gonna kill myself."
"Uh... what was that about?" Doc asked. Church turned to the medic.
"Doc. We're royally messed up. Half our team is down and I think th..." he said, but Doc, seeing Caboose emerging from Blue Base, felt the need to correct him.
"No it's not, look! Caboose is already back in action," he said.
"I'm okay! I'm okay!" Caboose said... before collapsing again, this time in the sun. "I'm not okay!"
"He's fine," Doc said, though that was partly to convince himself. His darker side, the part of him woken up when O'Malley possessed him, was calling himself seven kinds of idiot for freezing the moment Tucker Jr. had latched onto Caboose's arm. If he had reacted sooner, perhaps Caboose would have only lost a pint of blood.
"Like I was saying, half the team is down, and the half that's left, sucks. So, all the Reds need to do is attack us, and we're dead," Church said.
"Hnnk!" Tucker Jr. noised.
"Oh right, and I have to kill this fudging thing," Church said, like killing children was an afterthought.
"Also, I see a big ship. Now I know I'm hallucinating!" Caboose yelled. This seemed to rile Church up more, because he started honest to goodness ranting.
"Oh, I forgot that part! The Reds also have an enormous ship that was sent by their Command. Probably has a huge fudging weapon on it. Like a nuke. Or a biological weapon that's gonna melt our skin. Or a genetic weapon that's gonna make everyone in Blue armor sterile... awesome."
"Hmmm. Maybe this isn't the best time to remind you that technically I'm neutral in this conflict," Doc mused. Sadly, he mused aloud. Where Church could hear him. And, of course, this set him off again.
"Doc, I don't think the situation could get much worse. I mean, the ship is bad enough, but goodness knows what kind of reinforcements they have in that thing. Could be a whole new squad! Or a Freelancer! Or..." And on he went. Doc sighed and tuned him out, going back to his previous musings.
/*/
"Wait a minute. She's yer sister?" Red asked, looking at the yellow soldier that had exited the ship with Rick.
"Yep," Dex said, popping his 'p'. Red shook his head at how sardonic his subordinate sounded at the moment. Oh sure he was used to disrespect and sarcasm, Dex had that down to an art form, but the 'the world hates me so much right now' attitude coupled with that special 'I'm gonna make you wish you were dead' tone was a new one.
"Isn't that cool?!" Kai asked, apparently over Dex having told her to leave... despite the tone he was using.
"Ya know, I always knew there was a genetic possibility that Grif would have blood relatives. But I always held onto the hope that he was the horrible by-product of an experiment..." Red said, only to get cut off by Dex picking up Eagle's dropped cudgel and whacking his CO in the head with it. "Insubordination!" Red called weakly from the ground, though he realized he kinda asked for it. Dex huffed, swinging the heavy metal club up to rest on his shoulder.
"If that's what it takes to stop you insulting me, so be it," he said, then turned to Kai. "But seriously. Go home," he said, his words holding as much weight and authority as they did when he was in the field.
"What?" Kai asked, having hoped he'd forget about the idea.
"Go home, right now. Get in your ship, uncrash it, and fly it home," Dex said firmly, tapping the cudgel against his shoulder, a faint clang ringing out each time the weapon met his armor.
"Whatever. Make me," Kai challenged. Dex growled.
"Don't tempt me. I will not hesitated to beat you senseless and drop you in that ship myself," he snarled.
"I... I thought you'd be happy to see me," Kai said, staggering back at the venom in her brother's voice.
"How are you even here anyway?!" Dex asked, trying to deflect the question in her statement.
"Well, she was the only one in the ship," Rick drawled. Dex growled at him.
"Not helping," he sniped.
"Hey. Who's the nerd?" Kai asked in a loud whisper, which made her sound stoned, or drunk. Honestly, it was kinda hard to tell.
"Excuse me, I'm not a nerd. I'm an IT expert. And the book-smart one," Rick defended.
"Alright Missy, there's just one thing I don't get. How'd you join the Army?" Red asked.
"What do you mean? I just... signed up," Kai said. Dex coughed, though it sounded remarkably like 'tex'. Rick snickered, then coughed as well. This time, it sounded a lot like 'marley'. Red grumbled, but stopped that line of questioning. His soldier's had a point after all.
"You'll have to excuse Sarge. He's... a bit of a traditionalist," Rick said.
"Thanks. Actually, they told me I was too young. So, I grabbed an extra suit of armor, and boosted a shuttle," Kai said. Dex sighed.
"And here I was hoping you wouldn't pick that up from me," he said, causing his teammates to turn to him in slight shock.
"Nohoho, I'm just kidding. I always wanted to do something like that," Kai said, far too cheerfully for Dex's liking.
"But why join the Army? That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard!" he protested.
"Well, you always looked after me when Mom ran away to join the circus," Kai began.
"W-wait second, hold on. Your Mom is in the circus? Hyou know, at first, I didn't like you, but you've already made my insults forty-five percent more efficient by just saying one sentence," Rick remarked, devious grin evident in his voice. Dex groaned while Red asked what their mom did in the circus.
"You know how circuses have a bearded lady and a fat lady? Well, my Mom plays both, 'cause she's, like, super-talented," Kai said. Rick started to cackle.
"Oh. my. Godiva. Is it okay if I record everything you say?" he asked, fingers already twitching toward the 'record' button on his helmet.
"Sure! Anyway, Dex always looked out for me, but after he went away, I didn't want to be alone," Kai answered.
"Okay, let me get this straight. You felt scared being alone, so you decided to join a war," Rick asked.
"She's a Grif alright," Red remarked. Dex sighed, shoulder's drooping slightly. Kai walked up to him, buoyant mood brought low by the reminder of why she joined the army.
"Dex... you left. Why did you leave?" she asked.
"Kai..." Dex tried, but the words died on his tongue. So he took off his helmet to let his eyes do the talking for him.
/*/
Kai was curious about how her brother had changed over the last three years, how could she not be? But when her brother took off his helmet, to say she was surprised would be a bit of an understatement. Her brother's face had been soft the last time she saw him, his eyes gentle, if a little annoyed. Those weren't the eyes she saw now. They were shadowed, colder, but also filled with worry, confusion, pain, and love. But she couldn't get past how intense they had become. Finally, she tore her eyes away from his, and took in his face. What fat he'd had before had been striped away, leaving a harsh visage behind. A pale scar drew her attention perilously close to her brother's eyes, a thin line just above his right eye. Kai felt her jaw tightening reflexively at the sight. Whatever had happened to him, her big brother was a changed man. "What happened here?" she asked softly, fingers ghosting along the slightly raised scar tissue.
"I got that in training," Dex said, taking her by the wrist. "Rick's amazing with knives," he said, nodding toward the nerd. She looked over at him, eyebrows raised.
"He doesn't look that tough," she said, causing Dex to chuckle.
"Don't be fooled," he told her, "he's amazingly deadly in close combat."
"Really? That's kinda..." Kai began, but Dex's armored glove cuffed her sharply on the back of the head, cutting her off.
"Don't finish that sentence," he growled at her, eyes flashing. Rick quickly held up his hands.
"Hey man! Chill! I know your sister's off limits! I like my life, thanks," he said. Dex hummed, like he was thinking something over, then...
"Ya know... maybe I was wrong. Maybe the army is the best place for her. As long as Marley agrees to train her," he said. Kai couldn't help staring at her overprotective older brother in shock.
"Uh... Dex? Kai's staring at you like you've grown a second head," Rick said. "To be honest, even I'm wondering what's going on in that crazy head of yours. And I know you the best out of everyone!" Dex chuckled and clicked his helmet back into place.
"You watch her, I'm going to lay down some ground rules around here," he said, walking off toward Blue Base. Rick sighed, shaking his head.
"I kinda feel sorry for Blue Team," he remarked.
"Why? I know Dex is kind of over protective, but he's..." Kai began, only to be cut off by Rick.
"Our weapons expert and unregistered medic," he told her seriously. "Trust me, Blue Team is going to be walking on eggshells when you finally get over there." Kai felt a shiver go down her spine. Just what kind of beast had the Army turned her gruff, lazy, overprotective big brother into?
/*/
While the Reds were talking to Kai, and the Blues were trying to figure out what was going on with the ship that crashed, Doc was on a hill with a noticeably larger Tucker Jr., attempting to teach him English color names. "See, my suit is purple. Can you say purple? Pur?"
"Honk?"
"Pull."
"Hnnk."
"Great! Once we learn all the colors, we'll learn why you shouldn't judge people by them," Doc told the alien child. If only others could be taught that principle when they were young and impressionable.
/*/
"Oi! Blue Idiots! Listen up, got a few things ya need to know about!" Dex shouted at the Base when he arrived. Caboose, Church, and Tucker all peeked over the edge.
"What do you want?!" Church called. Dex sighed.
"Well, ya see, turns out, my sister joined Blue Army," he said. This caused a bit of a stir, though Caboose didn't know why his two teammates were now anxious. "Yeah. At first I wanted her home. That didn't work, and honestly, Dad's worse than Tucker any day of the week. So then I wanted to get her transferred to Red Army, but that won't work either. So! I've been forced to concede that perhaps, what Kai needs, is exactly what she's been signed up for. Blood Gulch Outpost Alpha. Now! Before I allow my wild child of a little sister over here, there are a few ground rules!" he explained. Church sighed.
"Ya know, this might go a little easier, if we came down," he offered. Dex took a few steps back, and the Blues came out of the base.
"Right. Rule one. No hitting on my sister. She's far to likely to willingly let you take advantage of her. I find out you did..." Dex said, allowing the unspoken threat to hang in the air. Tucker gulped, but nodded.
"Right. Kai Grif is off limits. Got it," he squeaked. Dex nodded.
"Rule two. Kai is not, under any circumstances allowed to drink alcohol. The consequences will result in not only my wrath, but massive property damage well before I even get started."
"No drinks for Kai. Understood," Church whimpered, imagining the horror of a drunk Kai.
"Rule three. Hurt her, and no-one will ever find your bodies," Dex growled. The Blues nodded. "Rule four. Don't let her out of your sight for more than an hour. She's worse than me when it comes to finding trouble." He could hear the Blues swallowing heavily. "That said, I'd like you to help her develop some sort of discipline and responsibility. Church, Marley's going to be training her so as long as you know when she get's picked up, don't worry too much about rule four." Church nodded. "Okay. Now that we understand each other, I'll go send Kai over. Do not make me regret this."
"Wouldn't dream of it," Church said. Nodding, Dex left to contact Marley, though he had a feeling the woman had already heard him. Crazy spying ex-Freelancer chick.
/*/
Marley was ready and waiting when Dex called. "Yes, I'll train your sister. And I'll let Church know he was the one promoted to replace Captain Flowers," she said as soon as Dex called.
"Ya know, I really shouldn't be surprised... but I am," Dex said. Marley chuckled.
"I've been essentially grounded while patching York up, and making sure he stays that way. Is it really any wonder that I'd go to ground near my team?" she asked. Dex chuckled, shaking his head.
"How is he anyway?" he asked, thinking about York and how near he came to death.
"Still out, though he did wake for a little bit not too long ago. I'd say, he's on the fringe of the woods now, and that he's in a natural sleep. I give it another day or so before he wakes fully," Marley said. Dex nodded, unsure of whether or not she could see him.
"Understood. So... you really will train Kai?" Marley smiled at the raw love and concern in Dex's voice.
"Yeah. As if she were my own. You have my word," she told him. He let out a heavy sigh, a great weight having lifted from his shoulders.
"Thank you, Marley. And... and you'll," he floundered, causing Marley to frown.
"I'll... what?" she prompted. Dex swallowed heavily.
"You'll explain. Why I left her. Why she never heard from me," he said, near pleading. Marley sighed, though there was a soft, sad smile on her face. Say what you will about him, but Dexter Grif was a loving big brother through and through.
"I will, Dex. I'll explain everything. Including my involvement in your recent past," she said.
"Marley... I don't want her to hate me." This took the doctor by surprise. Not so much the words, but how he said them. There was a quiver there, fear and uncertainty laid bare to the woman. It spoke of how much Dex trusted her... and how worried he was about how his beloved sister would react to what he had done as a soldier.
"Oh Dex. She won't hate you. And I'll do my best to make sure she doesn't fear you either. If she starts, I'll introduce her to York, let him tell her how he'd be dead without you. And I'm fairly sure Delta could help her if she has any problems. That A.I. is as good as a therapist in my books," Marley told her student. Dex sighed.
"Thanks. Again. I just... I can't lose her, Marley. She's the only member of my family that I actually care about."
"I know. I get it, Dex. It's time you return to your team and escort your sister to Blue Base. If I could, I'd allow you guys to use paint rounds, to avoid accidents, but..."
"Don't. I get it. And maybe the danger... maybe it's what Kai needs. Just... keep an eye on her around Tucker, would you?" Marley laughed.
"I think you took care of that concern already, Dex! You seem to keep forgetting just how scary you really are, when you put in the effort to be," she told him. He huffed and hung up, leaving a cackling Marley and smirking Flowdie to their merriment.
"Ya know, you really did turn him into a beast," Flowdie told his comrade. Marley shrugged, grinning unrepentantly at him.
"Meh, all I did was give him some motivation. He did the rest to himself!" she said. Flowdie shook his head, staring down at the Sim. Troopers.
"How much true potential is down there, being wasted in this box canyon?" he mused. Marley shrugged.
"Not too sure, but I can tell you this. Freelancer and The Meta aren't gonna know what hit 'em!" she said, grin turning a bit feral. Flowdie shivered, remembering how she got the title that she did. The Surgeon of Death.
/*/
Kai watched as her brother sauntered down the hill toward her. "Ah, the conquering hero. Did the Blues whimper when you went Daddy Bear on them?" Rick asked. Dex chuckled darkly.
"Not exactly. Tucker isn't going to be a problem though. And Church is gonna be looking out for her," he answered. Rick shook his head.
"Still weird to think you have a sister. And that said sister is here," he said.
"Do we have to give her up?" Sarge asked, sounding rather hopeful, and just a little whiny. Dex sighed, slumping slightly. Kai was a little surprised. While it looked more like his usual stance, it also looked... wrong. 'This was what he needed,' she realized. 'This army built him back up. Gave him a purpose outside of the family.' She wondered if she'd find that.
"Yes. We do," Dex said, then took his helmet back off and turned to his sister. "Kai, before I take you to your base, there are a few things I have to tell you." She nodded, the look on his face killing any protests she might have made, likely the reason he removed his helmet, and Dex passed her a piece of paper. "If you get into any scrapes, call one of these guys. They'll help you out. Oh! But Black is a woman. I'll make sure no-one on my team actually hits you, but we will be shooting at you. Be careful, don't go near any Reds who aren't from this canyon, and whatever you do, don't embarrass the family. Think of mom."
"Didn't do me any favors, witch," Kai growled. Dex nodded, a slight smile creasing his face and causing Kai's breath to catch slightly. Dang her brother was fine!
"Kai?" he asked, smile slipping and brows furrowing in concern. She shook herself.
"It's nothing. You're just... hot," she said before pushing past him toward her new base. She heard him running after her a moment later, clicking his helmet back into place. Soon, far too soon in Kai's opinion, they reached Blue Base.
"Hello the Base! I've brought your new recruit! Now the teams are even!" Dex bellowed. Kai winced at the volume. Sheesh, Dex had a pair of lungs on him all right.
"Oh. Back already?" a cranky gray guy shouted. Seriously, it was at times like these that Kai hated being color blind. She couldn't tell anyone apart!
"Yeah. Church, Tucker, Caboose... this... is Kai. Hurt her, in any way, and I... I won't be held responsible for what I do to you," Dex shouted back. Kai shivered at his threat.
"What did they do to you," she whispered. His helmet turned to her... then he sighed and hung his head.
"Ya know... this is why I didn't want you here, Kai," he said softly, but his voice carried and Kai could see the guy on the base flinch. "I'm not the Dex you remember, Kai. I... Soldiers do things, in war. Terrible, scarring things. Things... things they never imagined they would ever do. And it changes them. Even if they never see active combat, they see things, hear things, and they never return the same as when they left. Maybe, if things had been different, I wouldn't..." he cut himself off and shook his head before he shoved her toward the base.
"Dex?" Kai asked, worried for her brother. She may be a ditz, but when it came to her family, she tried to pay better attention.
"I'm not your brother now, Blue," Dex said, and his voice was cold and hard, sending a shiver down her back. "I'll look out for you, like I always have, but from here on out..." Kai leapt backwards as, in a single motion, Dex swung his BR off his shoulder and fired at the ground by her feet. "From here on out it's tough love, sista," Dex said before he did an abrupt about face and stalked off. Church couldn't even ask what else was on the ship. Tucker couldn't ask about snacks. Caboose couldn't ask about cookies. All Blue Team could only watch as the orange soldier sauntered out of view.
"Hey... you wanna come in and... have some juice?" one of the guys called down to her. She couldn't move. She couldn't think. Her brother... was abandoning her? "Kai?" Why was he doing this?! "Oi! Kai Grif! I asked you a question!"
"Huh? What?" Kai asked, jerking around. A gray helmet. Again, she cursed being born color blind.
"You wanna come have some juice?" the guy asked. She nodded numbly and allowed herself to be lead into the base.
"So. I just got off the radio with... Command. She's here because of Captain Flowers. I'm getting promoted, and she's here to fill my spot. Like Grif said, now the teams are even," the first voice said, a gray armored figure coming into view.
"I really need to get you guys name tags," Kai muttered, but, of course, they heard her. Not for the first time, the Grif luck was cursed.
"Huh?" both guys asked.
"Oh yeah! Kai's color blind, so you might what to add identifying marks to your armor!" Dex bellowed from outside. Kai's eyes went wide, and the one to the right took off his helmet.
"Until we can fallow his suggestion, this should do. I'm Church, team leader," the one of the left said. "I... kinda can't take my helmet off, so... yeah." She turned to the one who had taken his helmet off. He had a round face, pert nose, and short, curly hair. Oh, and a rakish grin, even if it looked a little wary.
"I'm Tucker," he said, holding out a hand. Kai smiled a little and took the offered hand.
"Kaikaina Grif," she said, shaking Tucker's hand, "but you can call me Kai."
"Nice to meet you," Tucker said with a grin.
"Well uh, welcome to Blue Team. I guess we should probably give you uh, some kind of orientation or somethin' like that. So, this is, uh, this is the base here," Church said, putting a hand on her back and lightly pushing her toward the door. "This is the outside of the base. You saw the inside... inside the base there, through the door." Kai followed his arm as he mindlessly gestured to the door. She had a feeling this guy didn't know what he was doing, but she went along with it. "Um, there's a ramp over her, there's another one on the other side. It's kinda smaller, does the same thing though. Uh, it's got a basement... nuhm, there's a middle part 'n' there's a top part... got some, you know, blue flags here, on the outside. 'S come in handy when you're, you know, trying to identify the color of the base. It's blue. Anyway, that uh, pretty much covers the base so... anyway, yeah. That's it."
"Cool," Kai said, nodding along.
"As I've said, I'm Church. I'm the leader. Everybody looks up to me. Pretty much the only rule for rookies on the Blue Team is: don't kill the leader. That's me," Church said. Kai blinked.
"That's it?" she asked. Just what the heck happened on Blue Team that that was the rule that got stressed as 'pretty much the only rule'?
"That's it," Church confirmed, nodding once again.
"Sounds easy," Kai challenged.
"Yeah well, we're... we're still waiting for someone to follow that rule," Church said, halfway between irritated and bemused. "So anyway, uh, tell me about yourself. What's your training?"
"Training?" Kai asked. Okay, now... now she was questioning her decision to join the army.
"Yeah. What've you been told so far?" Church said. Oh. Well. She could handle that!
"Oh right. That's the base, and you're the leader, and I shouldn't kill you. Ever... Did I pass?" Church seemed to falter.
"N-no. I mean, like, what kind of military training do you have? Weapons?" he asked.
"Uh... those sound violent," Kai answered.
"Yeah... okay. What about... operations?" Church tried, a little desperate now.
"I don't even know how that works," Kai informed him, far too cheery.
"Communications?"
"Say what?" Kai was totally confused. This guy was saying words... but she didn't know what he was saying!
"Huhhh, intelligence?" Church attempted.
"Uhhh, huh?" Kai replied.
"Hhh, great," Church huffed, turning toward the base.
"Yeah, sorry. Doesn't sound like I have any of the skill you need. Unless you wanna see my ping pong ball trick," Kai said.
"Yeah... wait, what?" Church said as he spun back to face her. Before she could respond, he held up a hand, shaking his head. "Don't worry about it, Kai. Your brother already set up training for you. At first, I had assumed that he meant additional training, but now I see why he chose who he did," he said.
"Who?" Kai asked, following Church back inside.
"You'll see," he replied cryptically. Kai was seriously beginning to question her actions.
/*/
Tucker greeted the pair when they got back from the tour. "So, Church give you the low down?" he asked.
"Yeah... didn't cover your job yet though," Church said. Tucker shrugged.
"I'm just chillin'. That's the only rule on Blue Team Rookie: be cool," he said. Kai tilted her head.
"I thought the only rule was 'don't kill the leader'," she said, sounding puzzled. Tucker grinned with a soft chuckle.
"Yeah, but we break that rule all the time. That's what makes us so cool," he said.
"Awesome. On Red Team, we make that rule..." began Kai, but Junior cut her off.
"Rawr, rawr, rawr!" he noised.
"Oh cool, you have a dog?" Kai asked.
"Uh, that's not a dog. That's my kid," Tucker said, feeling a little insulted on Junior's behalf.
"Oh cool. You have a kid that looks like a dog?" she tried. Tucker felt the corner of his mouth twitch involuntarily. For a Grif, she was pretty hard to hate.
"Nice save," Church remarked lightly, then caught sight of the only Blue she hadn't actually met.
"Hey, ya know what? I think I have the perfect tour guide for you. Hey Caboose! Come here!" he called.
"I thought about having a kid once," Kai told Tucker. This, of course, got him interested.
"Oh really? It's a lot of work," he told her.
"Yeah. It seem like it would be hard. But I thought, you know, who wants to be known as the girl who's had seven abortions?" Kai said. Tucker nodded.
"Heh, yeheah... wait, what?" he said, her words finally catching up to him. Suddenly, Dex's warning made a whole lot more sense.
"Alright, this is Caboose. He can tell you everything you'd possible need to know about Blue Base," Church said, Caboose coming to a stop beside him.
"Is she a mean girl, or a regular girl?" Caboose asked. Tucker nearly snorted. Kai was neither.
"Caboose, what did I tell you?" Church prompted.
"That there are no regular girls," Caboose dutifully repeated, sounding vaguely disappointed... as well as having rehearsed the line several times. He likely had.
"Exactly. Alright, so just stick with him, ask him any questions you have, aaand just don't bother me. Or Tucker," Church said dismissively. Tucker suddenly had the urge to whack his comrade with his gun.
"What do I tell her?" Caboose asked, sounding as close to concerned as Tucker had ever heard him.
"Well, I already know the the rule," Kai supplied.
"I hate that stupid rule," Caboose remarked tightly. How one could speak tightly, Tucker didn't know, but Caboose managed it.
"Go show her Doc and Sheila," Tucker suggested. Caboose turned on his heel and directed Kai's attention to where the two were hanging out.
"The purple one is Doc, and the big one is Shelia," the simple soldier told her.
"Huh. Ya know, I was hoping that would take longer. And farther away," Church remarked. Kai and Caboose turned back to the other two.
"And who's the black one?" Kai asked.
"The black one?" Church asked. Tucker shot him a look. Was he nervous?
"Yeah, the one in the black armor? The one standing right behind you guys?" Kai repeated.
"The black one, yeah... Wait... what?" Caboose asked.
/?/
A/N: Yeah... Kai everybody! And Dex is Brother Bear. Fear the Brother Bear, he has Maulers.
Edited for continuity and spelling. 8/22/16