Chapter 4 — I Am Not Your Enemy

Nick paced across the metal floor in the agency. His ever-present cigarette was clenched between his teeth as he brooded about Nora's brief response.

Nick, I've learned some information about your creation at the Institute that I think you should know about. This isn't something I could even begin to explain through a message. I'm sending Nate to relay you to us. Your safety is guaranteed but your visit will need to be brief.

Nora left no salutation and her response seemed clipped, almost emotionless. He did consider if Nora had written the message at all. Maybe someone had discovered that her terminal could communicate to the outside world, and the Institute was laying a trap for him. Maybe Nora was back under their control like she had been when they implanted that cybernetic into her skull. Maybe —

"Nick, I can hear you thinking from over here." Ellie groused. "Everything is going to be fine. This is something you've wanted for a while, right? To find out about where you really come from?"

Nick scowled beneath his fedora and extinguished his half smoked cigarette into a clean ashtray. "But why now, Ellie? What is the Institute planning by drudging up information from a century ago? I'm a failed prototype, remember? I'm yesterday's news. Why would they want me back?"

"They didn't write you that message, Nora did." Ellie replied. "I wouldn't be surprised if your arrival went completely unnoticed."

Nick grunted. He knew Ellie was just telling him what he wanted to hear to placate him. He appreciated the gesture but it didn't help. He sat at his desk but wasn't worth a lick of work at the moment; still he needed to do something rather than brood about all of these unknowns. Of course, he'd be over the moon to see Nora again, but he also wasn't naive enough to assume that he'd be able to walk into the bowels of Hell itself without getting singed a little first.

However, he didn't have enough time to open the nearest case file before a breathless Danny stormed into the agency.

"Detective! There's an issue." His freckled face was flushed from exertion.

His arm was in a sling from catching a powerful elbow strike to the arm after trying to apprehend Mayor McDonough before the synth could put a bullet in his own head. To be honest, the kid was lucky that the distraught and mad former mayor didn't pitch him off the balcony to his death, but Nick was sure the kid knew that.

"What's wrong?" He asked Danny.

"Th-there's a guy who came in through the gate. He wouldn't give us any identifying information but he matched the description of that synth you asked us to keep an eye out for." Danny spilled this out in one full run-on sentence, and then took a breath before continuing, "When he wouldn't identify himself, we tried to put him under arrest, but he fought back. It took nearly four of our biggest men to wrestle him into a cell for now."

Nick shook his head. His first and only encounter this synthetic copy of Nora's husband went poorly, and that was in a situation where they were trying to not escalate the violence. He couldn't imagine how a synth, with the memories of an military man, would handle being told what to do from people he perceived as insubordinates.

"I'll be right behind you." He told Danny.

Nick tipped his hat to Ellie who took in this scene with wry amusement. "It seems like my ride is here, doll."

Ellie rolled her eyes, "You take care of yourself Nick Valentine. And give Nora a hug for me."

Synth Nate sat on a metal bench in a jail cell. His jaw was bruised and his leg was aching from being carried none-to-gently to this cell by three monstrous men and one amazonian woman.

After relaying out of the Institute and to the CIT ruins, Nate went straight to Diamond City as Nora had ordered. But unlike his covert infiltration last time in which he snuck past the young red-haired guard under the cover of a Stealth Boy, now Nate was forced to go about things the proper way.

Nora's instructions strictly forbade him from relaying into Diamond City. She told him that the citizens were already wary of Institute, especially after Mayor McDonough's reveal that he was a synth, and were natural to distrust anyone who looked suspicious or out of place. What Nora failed to tell him was that the Diamond City guards were still looking for a man matching his description thanks to wanted flyers describing him as an ex-military man who is armed, dangerous, and "an Institute pawn."

Of course, opening fire on a collection of security guards who were armed with nothing more than old baseball bats wouldn't have done the Institute any favors. No, Nora warned him about how the world topside would perceive him, so taking a couple of knocks on the chin instead of proving them right about Institute synths was something he'd happily do.

The other part of Nora's favor, on the other hand, would be a lot more difficult to accomplish.

She had given him a copy of the Project Genesis files to hand to Nick Valentine. Although courier work was a little boring, Nate knew that would be the easy part of the job. The other part, however, was nigh impossible. Nora wanted Nate to talk to her boyfriend about being a synth.

"Nate, please!" She had urged him. "Talking to him will be good for you. You both are going through similar things. Maybe he can offer you some closure or some comfort that you wouldn't be able to find here from me."

Nate clenched his teeth together. He would've rather walked through the entire Glowing Sea in his underwear than talk to Nora's replacement for him. But here he was, like a criminal awaiting his court-appointed defense attorney. His quest for freedom was in the hands of a defective synth who liked to play detective. My luck couldn't be any better, Nate thought bitterly.

He could've easily relayed out of the prison cell, but leaving without his quarry wasn't an option. A command from the Institute Director was a command that he was programmed to obey. Programmed. The word alone made him want to spit its foul taste from his mouth.

"Here he is." A gruff voice said to someone as a group of heavy-footed guards clomped down the hallway.

Nate rose from the metal bench and crossed his arms as the guards led the synth detective to Nate's cell. The detective looked no different than he last saw him. He wore the same old tan, rumpled trench coat with fedora and dark dress pants. Hell, he wondered if the synth detective even owned a change of clothes. He assumed not.

When Nick approached his cell, both men stared at each other for an agonizing minute. Nick looked suspicious and worried, but Nate tried to school his pained expression into tired indifference.

When Nick spoke first, the tension between them broke like someone had cut it with scissors.

"So, Nora's told me that you're here to escort me to the Institute. I'm surprised she'd send you, to be honest. You didn't seem all that keen on me when we last spoke."

"I'm still not." Nate bit out.

"Look, I'm not your enemy, kid." Nick replied. "Why don't we start over and forget that whole blowup outside the Vault never happened."

"Blowup. Vault. You certainly have a way with choosing all the wrong words." Nate shot back. He knew he was being immature, but he couldn't stop himself.

"Yeah? Well, at least I'm talking to you. I could easily just let the guards decide what the hell to do with you. They all know you're a synth, and that's not gonna sit well with a group of people who just realized their Mayor was a synth in disguise. So why don't we cut the bull and just get to the point? Why are you here?"

"I'm here to bring you to the Institute." Nate replied.

"I already know that. If you were only here to ferry me into that Hell, you would've teleported into my agency and out without Ellie being none the wiser. You have some other reason for being here."

"I'm here to deliver something." Nate replied stiffly.

"What would the Institute want to give me?" Nick asked. "Or is it from Nora?"

Nate shrugged and unlatched the faded canvas straps from a faded grey Institute bag. "All she said was for me to give you this. I'm suppose to give you this and then we're suppose to talk."

"Talk about what?" Nick asked.

"About me and about you. About how we're the same or something." Nate replied without bothering to keep the petulance from his voice. "Nora thinks that talking to you will help me come to terms with the fact that you've been fucking my wife. Or…at least, the person I think is my wife."

Spite, bitterness, and confusion darkened Nate's features as he handed the detective a stack of paper-clipped and bound papers through the food slot in the metal jail cell. The synth detective took the papers but continued to watch Nate. The poor shmuck looked miserable; he looked like a beaten dog that kept going back to its master for more.

Nick sighed, "It wont take me very long to read through this, but to show you that I'm not the home wrecking bastard that you think, why don't you and I grab some food from the noodle stand here. I don't eat, but I know you do. If you eat while I read, we both can get to the question and answer session quicker."

Nate considered his proposal. He was hungry and thirsty. Nora had given him a small tin full of caps just in case he'd be delayed in Diamond City for longer than he anticipated, but sitting down with the Gen-2 synth as an equal meant that he'd be swallowing his pride as well.

"Kenny, open up this damn cell." Nick barked to a Diamond City security guard who was lounging up against some lockers. "This guy isn't a security risk anymore. In fact, we can take down Piper's wanted posters now. They've served their purpose."

"A-are you sure?" The guard asked. "With what happened with Mayor McDonough —"

"— You clearly know he's a synth." Nick interrupted. "And he's gonna be with me the entire time. I don't sleep. I don't take bathroom breaks. He will be under constant watch, so you don't have to worry that he'll slip away."

Kenny sighed and grabbed the ring of keys off the table and opened the cell. Nate could feel the heat of his gaze on his neck as he walked down the hallway towards the jail's exit door.

"So where's this noodle stand?" Nate asked.

"Oh it's the only place that has a Japanese robot manning the joint. He only serves one type of noodles, but according to most people, they're the best damn noodles you'll get around here." Nick replied and held the door open for the other man.

Nate felt uneasy as they walked back to the marketplace. His life was full of structure, rules, and commands. He was there to do a job, not lounge at some restaurant. But then again, maybe taking a break would help him figure out how he was going to have a conversation with Nora's lover about why he felt inadequate to her husband's memory.

"Do they sell alcohol at this noodle stand?" He grumbled, his request half-serious.

Nick shook his head. "Sorry but no. And I don't think you're ready for Vadim's moonshine. But once you eat and once I read, we'll continue this little question and answer session at my agency, okay?"

Nate shrugged, trying to seem nonchalant, but his growling stomach and parched throat took precedence over his pride.

"Alright, lead the way."

Nora paced back and forth across the length of the relay room. Her hands were in her pockets and her eyes counted each sparkling linoleum tile as she adjusted her steps so her feet fell squarely within each tile square. Walking this way made her pace awkward and unnatural, but the familiar ritual also made her feel strangely comforted.

Nate had been gone for almost a full six hours now. Assuming that everything went fine, he was expected to be back with Nick by now. Her stomach ached painfully, partly because she was starving and partly because the stress of seeing Nick again was making her stomach do somersaults.

How would Nick react to the truth about his creation? She knew he'd want answers, but she also wondered how the truth of his escape would affect his memories. Would he remember the event now that he had proof that it had happened? Would he try to find information about the synth named DiMA? Would he feel the same anger and betrayal that Nora felt on his behalf, and would he confront the scientists that he thought were responsible?

Nora stopped pacing and hugged her stomach. No matter what Nick did, there was no question that she'd be overjoyed to see him. She needed to fixate on their reunion rather than on things that haven't happened yet.

Just then, the automatic door behind her opened and Dr. Li walked towards her carrying a large tray full of food.

Nora saw that in addition to the Institute's gelatinous food product, there was a plate full of salisbury steak and canned cream corn; two cans of purified water sat unopened next to the metal silverware and cloth napkins.

"Dr. Li what's —"

The severe woman shook her head and put the tray of food down on a card table near the large console that controlled the relay. "Since you've insisted on standing guard here while you wait for Nate to bring the synth prototype back, I've taken the liberty of bringing you dinner."

"A bag of food product and salisbury steak? Are you trying to fatten me up?" Nora asked wryly.

"The food product is mine." Dr. Li replied, "The steak is yours. Nate told me that you have a fondness for Pre War food, and this was the only Pre War food I could find. You need to eat to keep your strength up. I figured that if you refuse to eat the Institute's food, then maybe Pre-War frozen junk would be better than starving yourself to death."

"Thank you." Nora replied with sheepish gratitude. Her stomach made another louder growl and she took a seat at the card table. "I'm not trying to purposely starve myself, you know. I don't know what it is, but I can't stomach the Institute's food anymore. I know it's nutritious, but the consistency and the taste is off putting. I just can't see how you and the rest of the scientists can stomach that stuff."

Dr. Li shrugged and took a seat across from Nora. She didn't seem to mind the bagged space food. She tore the foil bag slightly and squeezed the sides of the solid brick so it would begin to react with the air and heat up. "I didn't really get a choice. Starvation is a pretty stiff motivator to eat things that taste a little … unique. I mean, this is a lot better than eating more poached mirelurk meat."

Nora frowned, "What's a mirelurk?"

The other woman smirked at Nora's naiveté. "A mirelurk is a mutated ocean creature. I've heard they descended from horseshoe crabs, but I've also heard the name is more of a catch-all term for mutated crustaceans. No matter what they look like though, their meat is abhorrent, and when I lived in Rivet City, they were the only meat we could get."

Nora wrinkled her nose and took a bite from the microwaved stake. The meat was rubbery and salty, but anything tasted better than the Institute's bioengineer food.

"So…" Dr. Li began. "I want to apologize about yesterday. I hope you don't think that Alan and I were deliberately concealing synth Shaun's existence from you. The situation was tenuous and Father originally planned for you to meet the kid before you met him so he could test the child's response to stressful stimuli. Thankfully, Z2-47's inappropriately brutal treatment of you necessitated that the experiment be cancelled."

"So Shaun was just another one of Father's science experiments?" Nora asked.

"Nora, I care about that child so don't mistake my regret for disgust, but Shaun's creation was a bastardization of our synth program. He should've never been created. Neither should've Nate, to be blunt."

Nora heard Dr. Li's words and heard the ones she once said to her son in anger. You should've never been born. Even when looking at Nate, Nora could never imagine saying these things to either of them.

"Like it or not, this child does exist and we shouldn't punish him for something that was done to him. Nobody asks to be born or created." Nora insisted.

"I agree." Dr. Li replied. "But I wonder where the best place would be for him now. Our Gen-1 and Gen-2 synth patrols have communicated to us that the Brotherhood of Steel is sending out raiding and scouting units with more and more regularity, especially around the Concord and Lexington areas. If they do eventually discover the Institute's location, it will not take them much to create a cluster of problems for us."

"Would they really hurt him?" Nora asked.

Dr. Li nodded, her face grave and troubled. "The Brotherhood are ruthless when it comes to acquiring advanced technology, and there's nothing more advanced than a fully sentient synth. I know that they wouldn't hesitate to execute any of our synths, no matter the generation, if they were caught."

Nora let out a heavy sigh. This was just another thing to add to her ever mounting list of problems to solve.

Dr. Li interjected, "I don't mean to worry you Nora, but I believe that being forewarned is also being forearmed. I care about what happens to Shaun; I've watched over him for the past two years. He's a bright child, naturally. But that could easily get him into unintended trouble."

"Why did Father create a child clone of himself?" Nora asked. "He always seemed to look down on synths as things or objects that were programmed to serve us instead of be our equals. If that's how he truly felt, then I don't understand why he'd go through so much trouble to create an inferior version of himself."

Dr. Li considered Nora's question for a moment before speaking. "Father has always been a bundle of contradictions. His temperament was very hot and cold. He could be very supportive and gracious one day while being excessively harsh and demeaning the next day. I imagine his moral compass fluctuated just as wildly as his emotions did."

"So, do you think Nate's and Shaun's creations happened when Father was feeling unusually nostalgic or something?" Nora asked.

"I would say manic is the more accurate word." Dr. Li replied, "There were moments when his intelligence and his ambition was seemingly uncontrollable, and this was one of those times. I was asked to help Dr. Binet work on both Shaun and Nate and I objected to both of their creations. I've always looked at the Institute as a place to further scientific findings that can eventually help humanity. But Shaun and Nate were both created to further a personal agenda rather than a scientific one."

Nora cleared her throat but the emotion in her voice was still thick and heavy, "I—I don't feel anything when I look at Shaun."

"Of course you wouldn't. He's not your son."

"But he's suppose to look like my son. Aside for his eyes, which are green like mine, he looks like I always imagined he'd look. But I don't feel any parental attachment. I look at him like he's anyone else's kid."

"Father mistakenly thought that if he gave his child clone one trait that his mother had, namely your eye color, then maybe you'd be more inclined to take him under your wing. I imagine that looking into the eyes of a person who has brought you so much pain would be a difficult hurdle to overcome."

Nora shook her head in disbelief. Even in creating a clone, her son was manipulative to the end.

"Well it didn't work." Nora spat. "He overestimated my maternal instinct I guess."

"I don't think he did." Dr. Li replied. "You cannot be expected to love someone just because someone tells you to. Relationships don't work like that. If there's ever a time when you'd like to talk with Shaun and get to know him as an individual, know that my door is always open. But you will never be expected to be his mother unless you want to."

"Thank you." Nora replied.

Silence settled over both of the women as they finished the remainder of their meals. Nora would've probably licked the aluminum tray clean if Dr. Li wasn't there. She hadn't had food this good since Preston's stew back at Sanctuary Hills. Then an idea struck her …

"I know where Shaun can go if he needs to disappear." Nora said suddenly. "I helped a group of people set up a settlement in my old neighborhood. It's not a fortress or anything, but he'd be around a group of people who could care for him. My old Mister Handy is still there and he'd be overjoyed to keep an eye on Shaun, even if he's a synth clone and not the real thing, and there's a couple there who had a son around his age who unexpectedly died. I'm not saying he could be a replacement son — they probably have their hands busy with a newborn — but these people have been good to me, and they are low-key enough to not attract Brotherhood attention unlike Diamond City or Goodneighbor."

"Sanctuary Hills, you say?" Dr. Li replied thoughtfully. "I'll send an envoy to them to see if they are willing to harbor him."

"Why not send Nate since he'll already be topside. I can give him a note to give to their leader to verify that this request is legitimate. Besides, Liam Binet can vouch for him if necessary." Nora said.

"Liam's there?" Dr. Li asked.

"Yeah. I'm surprised that Dr. Binet didn't tell you." Nora replied.

Dr. Li's lips pursed as though the idea of even asking Dr. Binet about his son was crossing some line, "I don't maintain close personal relationships with my co-workers anymore. After Liam's exile, I felt that broaching the subject would be rather gauche and tactless."

"Oh. Well he's doing fine in Sanctuary Hills." Nora replied, "And I think Shaun would appreciate being in a place with a person that he knows."

"I agree. Once Nate arrives with your synth detective friend, we'll see what he thinks of this plan." Dr. Li said.

The doctor took both of their trays. She bid Nora a farewell and let the vault dweller resume her vigil near the relay room.

The butterflies returned to her stomach with a vengeance as she resumed her steady, methodical pacing.

As she walked, she mused over what Dr. Li had said about not feeling obligated to be a mother to Shaun. Hell, she could barely handle being a mother to her infant son let alone adopt a cloned version of him.

No, Nora wasn't the maternal type. Or at least that's what she told herself. No, Shaun was much better without her. After all, she already fucked up her son. What sort of damage would she do to his clone?

Nick removed his fedora and ran his good hand along the synthetic paneling of his skull as though he could feel the blow that he took to the head when this other synth, DiMA, helped him escape from the Institute. Reading about these alleged events was surreal to say the least. It was like he was reading a book that depicted a crucial part of his life, but he had no memories of the events. Now he knew how Hancock felt as the ghoul struggled to place his memories of Nora amid the countless other details that amnesia had robbed from him.

True to his detective sense, the follow-up questions that Nick wanted to ask now clogged his mind like an obsessive thought. After he got out a few of his "How dare you?" and "What gives you the right?" variations, Nick was obsessed to finally close the book on the mystery behind his creation.

It was a good thing that Ellie took off at his behest with only minor curious glances at Nate's arrival. Nick was sure that Ellie would've loved to be a fly on the wall, but this was one case that he didn't need his trusty secretary's help to crack.

"Did you find the information you needed?" Nate asked.

"More or less." Nick replied. He'd play his cards close to his chest for now. Aside for Nora, he didn't know who else might've discovered the truth about his jailbreak out of the Institute, and he didn't want to prematurely put his trust into others.

Nate didn't seem to mind the other man's dodgy answer. He was slurping the last dregs of broth from a Styrofoam bowl like he was a man dying of thirst.

A fourth bowl of noodles sat on Nick's desk awaiting consumption. Bits of meat bobbed next to some tatos and carrots. Nick had to admit that the aroma did smell pleasant, but he had no desire to eat food. He had no instinct or biological need to do it. Hell, his smoking and drinking habit was more out of actual habit than need. Nick wondered what it felt like to be truly hungry and unsatisfied. He knew from seeing the sallow and sunken faces of addicts and starving wastelanders that it wasn't a walk in the park.

"You can really put those away." Nick commented.

"The Institute has shit food." He replied in-between greedy swallows. "I'm kind of glad that I'm not going back there … once I deliver you that is."

"What d'you mean you aren't going back?" Nick asked.

Nate stopped eating and washed down the noodles with a warm Nuka Cola. The carbonation was long gone, but its cloying sweetness brought him a small bit of nostalgia…or memories of Nate Pendleton's nostalgia.

"After I relay you in, I'm returning to the Commonwealth to assist the Institute with their activities topside."

"What activities are you assisting in?"

"That's classified information." Nate replied tersely.

Nick sighed and drew on the filter of his smoldering cigarette to light the ember once again. Apparently two could play the withholding game. He'd let the man keep his secrets, after all, when he wasn't working a case he didn't like to nose into other people's business. Besides, he was sure that Nora would tell him later. Speaking of which…

Nick cleared his throat, "So now that you've made your delivery, I suppose we should probably talk."

"Go ahead." Nate replied as he dug into the bowl. "There's nothing you could tell me about being a synth that I don't already know. Nora wanted us to talk, but she never specified that the conversation had to be equitable."

"Were you always this much of a jackass, or is this a new synth feature?" Nick shot back. "If Nora wanted us to talk, then she had a good reason for it. Believe me, I'm not entirely thrilled about pouring my heart out to an echo of Nora's late husband but I will because I respect Nora and I think that seeing our commonalities will help you."

"Commonalities?" Nate repeated sardonically.

"Yeah, like the fact that we both care about Nora. And I know that you are probably a good man deep down. Sophomoric attitude aside, I think that you and I could bury the hatchet and at least see that you and I are not enemies."

Nick puffed on his cigarette and leveled his gaze at the other man. He had said his peace and now he'd leave the ball in his court. This would give him time to observe and put his detective senses to work.

Something about Nick's frank response seemed to strike a chord because Nate set down the half-eaten bowl and crossed his arms across his chest. His chin jutted out and the muscles in his strong jaw clenched; he was grinding his molars as he mulled over the detective's words.

"The first thing I remember when I woke up in the Institute was 'I can't believe I survived. I survived getting shot. Nora is going to be so relieved.' Then when I finally saw her with that burned man and I saw that she was happy — no not happy, she was glowing — I wondered if she had moved on."

Nate spoke in a low, quiet voice. His eyes were fixated on an invisible object on the edge of his desk and Nick didn't dare interrupt him.

"I tailed her to the Starlight Drive In and I knew she'd come to investigate that small concession stand if I let her catch a glimpse of me. I also knew that she knew she was being followed, but I was so scared of what her reaction would be once she saw me. Still, I had to see her. Father's orders were specific. I was suppose to bring her back to the Institute by force if she wouldn't come willingly, and I was instructed to kill both of you if you interfered. I figured that if she thought that her husband was still alive, then maybe she'd go back to the Institute willingly. But when she finally saw me, I saw the pain and confusion in her eyes, but I also saw the hope. The slim hope that her husband was indeed alive; it was a hope that made me feel like a fraud."

Nick remembered the night that Nora had lied to him about meeting Nate. Her deceit didn't anger him as much as it worried him. Nora was a woman who would've jumped at anything to live in the past again. The prospect was enticing for sure, but living in the past could be just as harmful as not learning from it. It was something that Nick was still struggling with, especially when it came to matters that revolved around the old Eddie Winters case.

Nate continued to talk as Nate brooded on his words. "And then when I went to Vault 111 to wait for her, I saw Sanctuary Hills from the overlook and I saw you kissing her and I — I kind of lost it. Losing Nora to one man is bad enough but I was confident I could win her back, but seeing her with you … I just felt like the universe had punched me in the nuts."

"What do you mean by that?" Nick asked.

"Whenever I saw Nora and the burned man together, they'd be groping at each other like horny teenagers. It was like I was watching her fuck around with the quarterback of the football team. I know that their relationship couldn't be based on anything other than a physical connection, but then I saw you and her together and I realized that she actually loves you."

Nick swallowed thickly. He knew Nora loved him. Sometimes he questioned the dame's judgement, but he knew that she cared for him. Still, hearing someone else confirm that made his heart flutter in his chest."

"I'll take that as a compliment, I guess." Nick replied. "But I'll warn you. That burned man, as you put it, is formidable. He'd fight just as fiercely for Nora as I would."

Nate's sullen face looked absolutely spiteful after hearing that. "Yeah, well I don't know what she sees in either of you. Have the choices of men in his God-forsaken world fallen so far that she had to settle on a wrinkled zombie man and a robot detective?"

"Once again, the term is 'synth detective' jackass, and I'm not going to tell you a third time." Nick shot back. "Nora isn't here to mediate but that doesn't mean I wont retaliate if you disrespect me again."

Nate deflated a little; not enough to become fully passive but he seemed to reassess what he was about to say. "Fine. For Nora's sake, I'll try to hold my tongue."

Nick sighed. He could understand Nate's anger. He would've felt exactly the same righteous fury if Jenny had somehow survived and had shacked up with someone else. Even though Nick suggested that she do just that out of concern for her protection, the idea of seeing a woman he loved wrapped up in another man was enough to burn him even now.

"I appreciate that." Nick said. "And now let's make this exchange a little more equitable. You told me your story so now here's mine. Believe it or not, I do know how you feel."

Nate scoffed but picked up the neglected noodle bowl and began eating again. He figured that if he was stuffing his mouth with food then he'd be less likely to say something that he'd later regret.

"When you look at Nora, I'm sure that you feel that no time has passed. In your mind, you are Nate Pendleton, husband to Nora Pendleton, survivor of Vault 111, and an honorably discharged military veteran who saw more than enough action in Anchorage. Its a truth that is so engraved in your mind that simply acknowledging the truth — that those are implanted memories — is enough to through anyone into a spiral. But there comes a point that you gotta face the music."

"I don't want to face the music." Nate spat.

Nick nodded. "Neither did I. Hell, neither do I. You think this detective getup is just a lark? If I was playing pretend, I would've probably chosen a lot more glamorous alter ego to latch on to. This —" he gestured at his trench coat and fedora with his metal hand — "is who Nick Valentine was. The man whose memories I have was a Pre-War cop. I can't change that and I don't think I'd want to. His instincts and know-how have saved my ass more times than I can count, but it doesn't make facing the truth any easier."

"Facing what truth?" Nate asked.

"Facing the fact that you and I are living in the shadows of dead men." Nick stated bluntly.

"I'm not living in his shadow." Nate seethed.

"See, you can't even say his name can you?" Nick replied. "Because saying his name will make is past real. It will mean that there are two different identities. Nate, Nora's late husband, and you."

"This is all bullshit! I am Nate!"

"If you are then why hasn't Nora jumped back into the marriage that was cruelly stolen from her?"

"How do you know she hasn't?" Nate replied.

"Because she sent you here to talk to me." Nick countered. "If she wants me to help you open your eyes to the harsh truth, then that means she has made a distinction in her mind that you haven't."

"I love her!" He replied.

Nick nodded, "Of course you do. She's an easy woman to love. And you have her husband's memories. You see her in the same way that her husband saw her. I'd question your sanity if you didn't love her. I still feel the same way about Jenny. But in a dark twist of fate and good luck, Jenny died way before I awoke to think of her in this body."

"So what the hell am I suppose to do? Seeing her pine after you is worse than any gunshot wound." Nate exclaimed.

Nick let the backhanded insult roll off his shoulders. The man was hurting pretty badly. It made sense that he'd lash out, and Nick knew he was a pretty easy target.

"I think what you're doing next is a good first step." Nick replied. "You need to make your own way in this world. The more you step out from behind Nate's shadow, the more satisfied you'll feel. You will never be able to measure up to him, but maybe your deeds — not his — will help you create your own identity."

"Is that what you did?"

"Yes."

"Funny. A detective doesn't seem that much of a stretch from a Pre-War cop." Nate sarcasm was thick.

"Yeah well I'm sure you'll find your own niche in this new world. We may not need soldiers at the moment, but we all could use a fiercely protective and loyal gun watching our back."

Nate fell silent. Out of everything in the world, he knew that

"So now that you shared your story and I shared mine, I hope that we can at least consider this a truce." Nick said.

"Fine. It's a truce." Nate agreed.

"Good. Now how do you want to do this whole teleportation thing?" Nick asked. "I'll admit that although I'm Institute-made, I've never been too keen about finding my way back down that rabbit hole. What d'you want me to do? Klick my heels together three times?"

Nate stood up and stacked his empty soup bowl on top of the others. "You don't have to do anything. Just stand next to me and stay quiet. Once I grab ahold of you, I will initiate the relay."

Nick frowned as he stood. His stomach churned despite being perpetually empty save for the occasional drink. If he was a man, the sheer anxiety he felt about going back to the Institute would've had him reaching for the nearest trash can.

Nate walked around Nick's desk and grabbed ahold of Nick's intact hand. The other man's grasp wasn't overly domineering as some men's handshakes can be but it was firm enough to keep him from easily pulling away.

"This is N1-08. I am ready to relay the synth detective back with me." He spoke into his communicator with stoic calmness.

"See you both soon." Nora's voice came out over the communicator.

Nick's heart clenched in his chest. Simply hearing her voice instead of reading clipped messages off a terminal was enough to make him shudder in anticipation.

Blue light swirled around them and Nick could feel the static electricity produced by the electromagnetic field crackle across his skin and down his spine. When he felt a moment of disorienting weightlessness, he wanted to cry out but gritted his teeth against it. Nate had told him to stay quiet and that's what he was going to do. Once his feet touched the ground, the blue light crackled away leaving a minutely visible layer of burning ozone behind.

The room they appeared in was circular and had only one exit. Nate let go of Nick's hand and adjusted the messenger bag on his shoulder.

"Let's go."