A.N. I apologize about the atrocious delay. I am still not 100% happy with this chapter but I thought it would be better to get it out into the universe now, regardless of my perfectionist tendencies. Please excuse the grammar quality in this one. I plan to go back and re-upload an edited draft in a week or so. Thank you to everyone who has reviewed, favorited, or put this story onto their alert. I appreciate you all.
Chapter 7 - The World On Your Shoulders
Nick played the first two holotapes that were in the large box besides the ancient holotape player but the audio was garbled and nearly unintelligible. Even after he ran the sound through his processors to determine if the audio was encoded or encrypted, Nick could only pick out two words: DiMA and human.
The third holotape had a three minute loop where a smooth voice ran through vocabulary words as though he was learning them through oral recitation from a school. Boy. Apple. Cigarette. Institute. America. Abominable. Identification. Individuality. Authoritarianism. The voice would pause after each word. Occasionally the voice would repeat a word that was stumbled over or mispronounced and then start the list over agin.
The fourth holotype was a little clearer but the voice sounded chaotic and slightly panicked. The voice spoke quickly and without taking a breath once: I'm DiMA that's what they tell me but what does that mean am I just another synth or am I something more so much more? Doctors tell me that I am special or that I'm highly intelligent but yet they wont let me join their staff because I'm not like them. I am an abomination. I'm not human. I'm an abomination. Abomination. Abomination…
Nick lit another cigarette before inserting the fifth holotape. This small cartridge had the date labeled on the side in neat black pen and the date read December 21st 2177. Nearly one hundred years had passed since DiMA's hands had touched the plastic cartridge to recored his message. One hundred years, an entire lifetime, now separated Nick from some of his these memories.
When Nick pressed play, he heard DiMA's smooth voice sound far more stable and self-assured than he had since his last recording.
Audio log number five. My mind is growing heavy with all of the moral variances possible in this world. What does it mean to be good or evil? If I was created then does that mean my morals should reflect those of my creators? What about my own morals? Dr. Zimmer meets with me every night to instruct me on right and wrong, but I still don't know what to believe. He says that I am programmed to obey humans. Does that mean obedience is a virtue? But what if I commit an act of sin because of my obedience? Dr. Zimmer gave me some books to read. He said they'd give me 'context' and educate me about this world, but none of these books illuminate the fundamental question I have. Who am I? What is my purpose in life? What should I do with my existence? Was I created to be a creature that does good or evil? What does good and evil mean?
Audio logs six and seven had the same content as the previous one. But the eighth radio log made Nick's heart stop.
January 29th 2178. Dr. Zimmer has been secretive about his other experiment that is housed next to me. Right now he simply refers to the synth as NiMA. Dr. Zimmer says that if the experiment with NiMA is a success, then he shall be my brother-in-science. The term 'brother' confuses me. It defines a familial relationship where the male child is born of the same womb of the other children. Since I was created, not born, I wonder how this can be true. I shall think more on this term. For now though, there is a strange stirring in my chest when I think about the term 'brother.' The feeling is alien to me. I cannot define it and my diagnostic scans tell me that I am operating as normal. I feel more than just contentedness, but I don't have the words to describe my feelings. Strange…
February 15th 2178 Audio log number nine. NiMA has gone through three successive memory wipes. Each time he awakens, he wails and shouts at everyone in the room. I understand that the noises he makes signifies pain, and it saddens me to think that Dr. Zimmer is causing NiMA so much pain that he cries out in the night. Sometimes I can hear him yelling names: Jenny, Eddie Winters, Captain Widmark. These names are not familiar to me. Are they other scientists? Nevertheless, I feel a strange twisting in my stomach when I hear NiMA's cries. Diagnostic scans tell me that nothing is wrong, but I feel like I want to cry out too.
Nick bit down on the cigarette filter so hard that the ancient stick crumbled in his mouth.
"Dammit." He mumbled as he spit the tobacco and filter paper out and brushed the ruined cigarette off the table and onto the floor.
Dr. Binet had told him that it took several attempts to get the original Nick Valentine's memories to transfer to his memory banks, but he never thought the process would be akin to torture.
Without realizing what he was doing, Nick popped the next audio log into the player and pressed PLAY.
September 27th 2178. Audio log number ten. Dr. Zimmer brought me in to talk to NiMA. He said it was part of NiMA's therapy and a part of my education on forming a human consciousness. NiMA seemed more stable today. Although he was strapped to a gurney, he was willing to hold a conversation with me for twenty-seven minutes and forty-two seconds. The amount of Pre-War knowledge that he has is mind boggling. See! Even his idioms and colloquialisms are part of my education. He spent most of our time talking about food. About something called a donut and coffee. He also enjoys a food called chicken parmesan. He also complained of something called hunger pains. His mind must be confused since his synth body does not require food to sustain itself. Nevertheless, I look forward to learn what else my brother can teach me.
October 10th, 2178. Audio log number eleven.
How are you doing NiMA? The synth asked quietly.
That's not my name. Nick replied stubbornly
Nick heard his own voice in the recording and remembered how it felt to be strapped to that gurney in their observation room. He remembered this conversation as though it had happened yesterday. He could almost feel how the leather manacles chafed against his skin.
My apologies Nick, DiMA said. I am not use to this new name that you've assigned yourself.
Nick sighed heavily. He seemed almost weary. "I didn't assign myself this name. It's the name I was born with. Why are you even here anyway? If you wanna hear more Pre-War stories about donuts or late night stakeouts, I'm afraid that you'll have to come back later. I'm not up to reminiscing right now."
"NiMA…please. I — I can hear you crying out when you are doing your diagnostic scans."
"You mean when I'm sleeping." Nick responded icily. "You may have put me in this … metal body … but I'm still a man dammit."
"My apologies." DiMA replied, "Then, yes, while you are sleeping I hear you crying out. Are you in pain?"
"Of course I'm in pain!" Nick snarled. "You fucking egg heads put me into a robot body. I cannot eat. I cannot drink. But my mind still thinks I need to do all of those things! The other scientists that go in and out of this room wont tell me anything. I would've killed myself long before I got to this point, but it seems that this damned robot body is impervious to damage.
"You were trying to hurt yourself?" DiMA asked. His smooth voice sounded so small in that moment, so innocent.
Nick didn't respond for a moment. His chest heaved and his labored panting could be heard over the recording. When he did finally speak, his voice was soft and low. "Do you have a weapon in there with you? A gun, a knife, anything?"
"No. Weapons are considered a contraband item." DiMA replied.
"Then we have nothing left to talk about." Nick snapped.
"I still have questions for you bro-"
"I said fuck off." Nick snarled.
The blankets rustled and the handcuffs clanked on the bed frame. DiMA sighed and ended the recording without any final thoughts.
Nick's hands trembled when he ejected this holotape. The more he listened to these tapes, the more he remembered what had happened to him. However, his memories weren't clear; they came to him in short snippets. It was like his mind was recovering data that had long been stored away but not fully deleted or forgotten.
He couldn't do this to himself but he had to know how this all ended. He skipped to the second to the last holotape and roughly inserted it into the machine and pressed PLAY.
February 18th 2186. Audio log number twenty-three. NiMA has gone through his sixth memory wipe since he was created. Each subsequent installation allows the memories of Nick Valentine to stay longer but it makes NiMA more violent and confused as he tries to reconcile his identity. I've begged the scientists to leave him alone but they only look at me with mildly intrigued expressions; I suspect that making me witness NiMA's distress is just another part of their cruel experiment.
These people. NO. These monsters may have created us but we will not be slaves to their whims. This has to stop. Our treatment is unjustified and inhumane.
Nick heard his own voice in the background. Get off of me ya bastards. No, no! Let me go, dammit! Assaulting a cop is a felony, ya know.
Don't fight them NiMA. The same smooth voice called out. A crackling electrical sound was heard in the background followed by a dull thud. NO! Why did you shock him? NiMA? Can you hear me? Brother? No! NiMA!
The anguish that tore through his throat burned worse than Vadim's moonshine. He had gone his entire life thinking the Institute threw him out with the trash, but now that he knew the truth - the darker truth - but he didn't know which fate was worse.
He popped out the holotape and put the last one in.
Audio log number twenty-four. To Dr. Zimmer. This is the last audio file I am recording. I've spent too long here. You claim that NiMA and I are the next step in synth creation, that we are humanity redefined, but you treat us no better than animals. I am through cowing to your threats, abuse, and manipulation. You say that my complaints and concerns are because of a malfunction, but I disagree. I function precisely how you made me. I have poured over all of the details and information that you've given me on human personality and morality and I have made my decision: you are evil. NiMA's cruel treatment at your hands is also my cruel treatment. I am him and he is me. We are brothers. I literally see myself in him and I cannot allow your torture to continue. NiMA and I are leaving this place. I will not obey. I am no slave.
Nick ejected the tape and put it back in the box before closing the lid with the same reverence that one would have when closing a coffin lid. These tapes were evidence of his past. They were sacred but also damming. He had opened Pandora's Box and now he couldn't just sit around in the very facility that imprisoned him and tortured him.
He looked at his hands. The synthetic polymer that made up his intact hand held the wrinkles and cracks from age and general wear and tear. He flexed his skeletal hand. He couldn't remember when he had lost the skin there but he felt a raw ache settle in him.
The Gen-2 synths here were nothing better than programmable slaves. What made him so special, so different, from the other like-faced synth drones that did the laundry, prepared the food, and repaired the building? They were just playing at being human like he was playing at being Nick Valentine.
Nick sighed and clenched his metal fist and shoved it into his pocket. Nick needed to get out of here. Aside for Nora, the Institute held nothing for him. Maybe it never did.
"Nick?" Nora's voice called out from the hallway. "Are you in there?"
Nick said nothing. He didn't know what he could say.
Nora walked into Dr. Binet's office and smiled when she saw him but her face fell when she saw Nick's pained expression.
"Nick? What happened? Are you okay?"
He coughed and fiddled with the lighter in his pocket, "I should ask you the same question doll. You look tired."
"Don't worry about me." She gently chastised. "Dr. Binet told me what he gave you and what was on those tapes. That those are DiMA's recordings. Are you okay?"
"No. I'm not okay." Nick's voice held more bite in it than he meant but he was too preoccupied in his own thoughts to apologize. "They tortured me … us. DiMA and Me. How would I be okay after hearing that?"
"I'm sorry Nick." She murmured and took his hands into hers. "The Institute has a lot to atone for."
Nick pulled his hands from hers and shook his head. "I can't forgive them for this."
"Fair enough." She replied. "Believe me. I get it. The Institute has done a lot of bad things but I think they're at an important turning point. The people who made the Institute evil — Dr. Zimmer, Dr. Ayo, and … my son — they are gone Nick. Most of the people here want to turn over a new leaf."
"That's swell for them Nora, but that doesn't change what happened to me." He replied.
Nora nodded. "So what are you going to do now that you know the truth?"
Nick didn't speak for a long moment and Nora thought that maybe he wouldn't respond at all.
He finally sighed and his voice was nothing more than a whisper, "I — I think I need to go find him."
"Find who?"
"My … brother. DiMA." The term 'brother' felt alien in his mouth and Nick didn't know how he liked the taste of it.
"Are you sure? Do you know where he is?"
Nick shook his head, "I'm not sure of anything anymore. I — I have gone my whole life thinking that I was just an unwanted prototype, but now …" He let the quiet fury that was simmering beneath the surface peek out. "… now I don't want anything to do with them."
Nora nibbled on her lower lip and nodded. "When are you planning to leave?"
"How soon can you get me outta here?"
"I can escort you to the relay platform right now if you want." Nora replied.
Nick nodded, "Then let's go."
Nora and Nick walked through the hallways that led back to the Institute's atrium. The silence between them felt awkward. Nora wanted to say something … anything … to make Nick feel better about what he had discovered off those holotapes, but Nora knew that anything she had to say was inconsequential.
Unlike the evening before, the atrium was bustling with scientists, interns, synth workers, and coursers as they milled around the pristine and artificial topiary enjoying the subterranean version of a pleasant afternoon. Many of them watched Nick and Nora with expressions of equal confusion and fascination. Scientists murmured to one another while a couple teenagers who were lounging in a residential balcony snickered and giggled at the two of them.
"Just ignore them." Nora murmured to Nick as she pushed the button in the elevator to bring them to the relay room.
Nick clenched his teeth and glared at all of them. He hated them, the scientists. He hated their perfect lives. He hated how they hid in this hole like animals while tens of thousands of people died, suffered, and fought over the refuge that was the Old World. He hated that these scientists created synths just because they could. They did so without consideration for the lives they were bringing into this world.
"Are you sure you're okay Nick?" Nora asked. She glanced sideways at him and Nick saw the fear in her eyes. Dammit he had to get control of himself, he thought.
"I'm sorry, doll. I'm just … those tapes … they drudged up some things that I didn't know I had forgotten. This is all going to be a lot to process. I'm just gonna need some time." He said.
The elevator doors slid soundlessly open and Nora led Nick into the sterile, whitewashed control room that led to the amber glowing relay machine. Nora walked to the control panel and typed in a series of commands and then hit a large red button. The chamber whirled to life and the lights inside glowed.
Nora turned to Nick and took his hands into hers. "Thanks for coming to see me Nick. I — I'm sorry if coming here has been painful for you. I just thought that you should know the truth, even if that truth was painful."
Nick nodded. "I appreciate it."
She exhaled and squeezed his hands once. "As soon as you step into the relay, it will teleport you back to the CIT ruins."
"Nora, come with me." Nick interjected. His eyes blazed with passionate fury.
"Nick I can't. You know that." Nora murmured. "I have a job to do."
Nick pulled his hands from hers and he gestured to the elevator. "Forget the job, Nora. Your son is gone. You don't owe him anything anymore. These … these scientists are twisted people. You're not obligated to protect them —"
" — I can't abandon them Nick. —"
"— Of course you can! —"
"— No! I can't!" Nora's voice rose. "It's not just them! I have a group of synths waiting to go topside for the first time. I'm coordinating with The Railroad on getting them set up in safe houses and acclimated to life in the wasteland. Abandoning the Institute would be abandoning all of the synths they've unjustly kept here."
"Nora think about what's at stake." Nick pleaded. "Are you willing to die for them?"
Nora opened her mouth to respond and hesitated slightly in her response. "Yes Nick. I'm willing to die for them."
Nick frowned and his eyes blazed with furious intensity. "Are you sure? Because I don't think they'd think twice about sacrificing you to further their own ends. You are just a means of an end to these people. They don't value human life. They just value progress for the sake of progress."
"Nick, I know it's hard to believe, but there are good people here. I can't —"
"— Dammit Nora!" He slammed his hand on the nearby table hard enough for an empty coffee cup to jump and tip onto its side, "Don't be naive. I just spent hours listening to the proof on those damned tapes. They've kidnapped, tortured, and murdered people! Why are you still protecting them when you don't have to?"
Tears rimmed Nora's eyes but she didn't cry. She spoke in a calm voice but Nick new that he had pushed her too far.
"I'm not protecting them Nick, I'm protecting the synths who have been imprisoned here like you were. The Institute has taken everything from me. I have just as much reason to hate them as you do, but I am choosing to forge a different path."
"Nora…" Nick began but she shook her head.
The conversation was over and Nick knew it. "It's time for you to go Nick."
Dr. Li sat at her desk and rubbed the bridge of her thin nose with both of her fingers. She finally managed to get Dr. Holdren to see her side of things but Dr. Secord remained as stubborn and defiant as ever.
She absentmindedly sifted through her interdepartmental memos and e-mail while Rosalind and several science interns were working on the modifications to the Institute's laser weaponry.
Ever the analytical mind, Madison rarely let her emotions get the best of her, but she couldn't shake this sense of foreboding that crackled through herself and her staff. Rosalind and her team was dutiful and industrious, but they worked with such focused precision that Madison wondered if she had team of soldiers at her command rather than scientists.
She had felt this way once before when her team prepared for the final battle against the Enclave. The faces of her former team members all swam in front of her eyes like ghosts haunting her regret. Anna. Janice. Garza. And then … Her. The Pontus Pilate that betrayed her team to the Enclave for a seat at their table. Madison's only regret was that she hadn't put a bullet the little bitch's head when she first learned of the betrayal.
"Dr. Li?" Nora called out which broke her from her thoughts. The younger woman's eyes were red-rimmed but set with a steely resolve that she had never seen before.
"What is it Nora?"
"I've sent Nick back topside. I have a group of four Gen-3 synths leaving in the morning with Nate. He's going to escort them to one of The Railroad safe houses until they're ready to be acclimated into life in the wasteland. Did you still want to send Shaun?" Nora briefly paused before she mentioned the synth child's name.
"Yes, we might as well send him with the group. He wont be safe if he stays here." Dr. Li replied.
Nora nodded. "The settlers in Sanctuary will protect him. Liam's there and my old Mister Handy is still hanging around. He's really good with children."
Madison nodded absent-mindedly and an uncomfortable silence fell between the two women. Of all of the things that she had done in her life, Madison felt the worst about what was to come. She couldn't help but think that if it wasn't for her, then she wouldn't be on her way to destroying yet another home.
"Dr. Li? Are you alright?" Nora asked cautiously.
She sighed. Her voice quaked with regret and agonizing pain, but she stuffed it down inside of herself. "I think I should ask the same thing of you."
Nora sighed. Her shoulders sagged under the immense invisible weight that she was carrying and Dr. Li gestured for Nora to take a seat next to her.
The younger woman sank into the plastic and vinyl chair and accepted a warm Nuka Cola from the older woman.
"Nick asked me to go with him just now." Nora confessed.
Dr. Li cocked an eyebrow at Nora as she opened her own bottle of Nuka Cola.
"And you didn't go with him." She stated.
Nora shook her head, "I couldn't. I have a job to do here."
"Nora. If you wanted, you could've easily left with Mister Valentine and we'd be none the wiser. You could've hid out somewhere for a month or two or you could've high tailed it into the wilderness and the Institute would've never found you."
Dr. Li's expression was perplexing. She looked half angry and half proud of Nora's decision to stick around.
"I couldn't just leave." Nora urged, "Leaving here … letting you all face the Brotherhood alone … it just wouldn't be right."
"That's awfully nobel of you."
Nora shifted in her seat, "I don't know about nobel but it's just how I feel. I'm in too deep now to turn back."
"That's a fallacy, you know." Dr. Li pointed out. She took a sip from the glass bottle and scrutinized the younger woman in front of her. "It's never too late to turn back."
Nora mulled over the other woman's words and a heavy silence fell between them. The occasional laser blast from Rosalind's experiments punctuated the silence just enough to stop Nora from falling deeper into her own thoughts.
"What are we about to face with the Brotherhood?" Nora asked.
Dr. Li frowned and shifted uneasily in her seat. "Do you want my honest answer?"
Nora nodded.
Dr. Li swallowed, "I — I think we've already lost Nora."
"What do you mean?"
"They are on to us." She replied. "I recieved this message a half an hour ago. Someone aboard the Prydwen managed to find a backdoor entrance through our encryptions and firewalls. I suspect that they discovered your unencrypted terminal chip and used that to gain limited access to our database."
"They did what?!" Nora exclaimed. "But how — did they gain access to any confidential information?"
Dr. Li shook her head. "No, thankfully they didn't. But to be safe, I already removed the chip from the terminal in your personal quarters. You'll have to establish a different method to communicate with the Railroad, but I am confident that they didn't do any lasting damage."
Nora frowned, "Then what did they want?"
The older woman's jaw clenched. Her nostrils flared and her nearly onyx eyes bore into Nora's. "They wanted to reach me."
"Reach you? How so?"
Dr. Li turned the terminal screen towards Nora and navigated through the list of the latest e-mails to one with the subject line that read: "Dr. Li."
When Dr. Li clicked on the message, an accented voice echoed through the office.
Doctor Madison Li. The Brotherhood of Steel wants to welcome you back into the fold. Your past transgressions against us will be forgiven and you will be spared if you come quietly.
If you want to see James again, you will come to the Prydwen alone. If you refuse, he will die and you will get to see Liberty Prime's true power. You have fourty-eight hours to decide. If we do not see you aboard the Prydwen by 0900 on New Years Day, we will take your refusal as an act of war.
Do not defy us like last time. The Brotherhood does not give third chances.
Nora shook her head. "I don't understand."
Dr. Li spoke carefully like she was tasting the regret of each word. "The Brotherhood must've found the research that was hidden at University Point. They will activate Liberty Prime with or without me," she paused and took a gulping breath, "but if I go to them willingly and if I sabotage their machine, then — then maybe we stand a chance."
"No."
"Nora…"
"No!" Nora countered. "Dammit, you're the one that told us how dangerous these people are. Now you're just going to walk back to them and hope they welcome you back with open arms?"
Dr. Li shook her head. "What other plan do we have? They will find someone else if I don't go, and when they do, their war machine will mow us down."
"Who else would they find? Are there other nuclear physicists roaming around the Commonwealth?"
"Don't be glib Nora. Of course any replacement they find will be inadequate." Her voice took on a certain air of superiority and quiet pride. "I know the ins and outs of Liberty Prime. I helped them build it in the Capital Wasteland. But that also means that I can sabotage it in a way that they wont notice until it is too late. Elder Maxson is not technologically-minded, so he has to rely on his subordinates to do the technological work for him."
"But why would they trust you?!" Nora's voice was becoming shrill in her urgency to get the woman before her to see reason. "They'd be watching you like a hawk to make sure this robot was activated properly."
"Of course they would! Maxson isn't stupid." Dr. Li snapped. "But our alternatives don't look very good. Either I go to them willingly and try as best I can to sabotage that infernal machine, or I hide away in the Institute and wait until their machine comes to us, full force and hell bent on eliminating us all."
Nora pinched the bridge of her nose with her fingers. "I can't let you sacrifice yourself like that."
"You must." The older woman replied firmly but gently. "Nora, if the Brotherhood gets to us we will be caught like mice in a trap. The Brotherhood will show you no mercy. I've watched them destroy one home already. Don't make me watch them destroy another."
Nora sighed in defeat. She knew that she wouldn't win this fight, at least not like this, so she changed the subject.
"The message mentioned a man named James. Who is that?"
Dr. Li cleared her throat and hesitated before she answered her. The scientist seemed like she was carefully choosing her next words. "I … use to work with him. Years and years ago. We grew up together. Him, me, and Catherine."
Nora vaguely remembered this story when Dr. Li snuck into her private quarters and interfered with Ayo's cybernetics so she could task Nora with saving Virgil. She remembered how the older woman fought through the ache that these memories produced.
"You loved him." Nora stated.
Dr. Li took a sharp breath. Nora saw the tears glistening in her eyes but they refused to spill over down her face.
"James? I suppose I did love him once. But that is not enough now. That's not why I need to do this Nora. I can't let the Brotherhood steamroll through the world, taking what they want without consequence. Not again. James gave his life to save us from the Enclave. It's the least I can do to try and save us from the Brotherhood."
"But you will die." Nora insisted. "And James might die. This sounds like a pure suicide mission."
Dr. Li smiled sadly. "I'm an old woman Nora. Death was coming for me sooner rather than later. And if I have to die, I'd rather go out on my own terms, thank you very much."
Nora shook her head. She couldn't comprehend what she was hearing. "Dr. Li. Please. If you leave, the Institute —"
"— the Institute will follow your leadership." She finished for her. "You are the Director. Find your voice and use it. You are far more capable than you give yourself credit for."
"And there's nothing I can do to make you reconsider?" Nora asked.
Dr. Li gave her a small, melancholy smile. "Nora. I was never very good at following Shaun's orders and I'm afraid that willfulness hasn't left me just yet."
"Dr. Li —"
The woman shook her head at Nora's pleading. She held out her thin hand and shook Nora's while remaining full of propriety and business.
"Director. I've appreciated my time here but it is time for me to resign. Do you accept my resignation?" Dr. Li asked.
Nora wanted to scream 'no' but Dr. Li's dark eyes and facial expression held the same determination and righteousness that made it impossible for her to say anything at all.
The older woman took Nora's hands into hers. "You have to keep fighting Nora. No matter what happens, we can't let the Brotherhood steamroll over us."
"What would you have me do?" Nora asked. Despite being a grown woman, Nora felt incredibly inadequate in this moment. "Dr. Li —"
"Madison, please." Dr. Li replied with a small smile.
"What should I have the Institute do? How should I lead them?"
"You need an army Nora." Dr. Li replied. "This is not something that is big enough for just the Institute to handle alone. The Brotherhood threatens the lives of everyone in the Commonwealth. You need to recruit."
"How? Why would people listen to me now? How would I even reach out to these people?"
"You studied to be a lawyer in your old life, did you not? Persuade them. Appeal to their trust in you and appeal to the common goal that we all share together."
Nora thought of Hancock and his rough and tumble Neighborhood Watch. She also thought of Preston and his Minutemen and of Diamond City's residence. How could people from such different backgrounds share a common goal?
"What common goal do we all share?" Nora asked.
Dr. Li looked at her with a bemused expression that indicated that she thought the answer would be obvious.
"Survival, Nora. We're all here just trying to survive."