Disclaimer: I don't own RvB.
A/N: I am so sorry. I posted the wrong chapter last time, so here's the real Episode 35. Ugh. Yeah, my only excuse is... my mind was fried from my missions trip to Alaska still and I didn't notice which doc I was uploading. And I had a head cold. Yeah... ONWARD!
Episode 35: Enter Wash, Stage Left
Roughly fourteen months later, Eagle made a shot that had Ed staring in disbelief. There was nothing else he could do. "How... ?" Well, maybe there was something he could attempt, but it wasn't working to well. Eagle popped the spent shell out of his customized rifle.
"I'm just that awesome," the burgundy sniper remarked, staring coolly down at the unconscious Agents Dakota. "Black, you'd best work your magic fast. No telling how long it'll take for The Meta to actually arrive," he added, radioing in the hit while Ed shook his head. After this long, he really shouldn't have been so surprised the man beside him could hit two running Freelancers in the neck with a tranquilizer round from nearly 2,500 yards away.
"Right-o! Deploying Dummies for Dummy!" the former Agent Oregon piped cheerfully as she neatly swapped the unconscious North for a Dummy North with a Dummy Theta in his Dummy Armor. Her chipper voice pulled Ed from his contemplations of wind sheer, angle deflections, and temperature variables as he attempted to calculate the odds for the shot Burgundy had just pulled off.
"... I've died and gone to Crazy-ville," Ed remarked, shaking his head. Marley cackled, piloting The Phantom to pick the two up.
"Nah, you've always been in Crazy-ville, population Project Freelancer!" she remarked as the two trooped in.
"Among others," Eagle remarked, returning Betty to his back as he walked past the ex-Freelancer.
"I meant... oh never mind," the other sniper muttered, shaking his head. North groaned and Eagle dropped to crouch in front of the slowly awakening man.
"Well well, look who's up."
"Who are you?" North asked, a slight slur distorting his words as he tried to lift his aching head. He was met with limited success.
"The guy who knocked you out. You're welcome," Eagle said, then stood up, effectively vanishing from the still groaning Freelancer's vision as his neck muscles decided that holding up his armored head was far too much work and gave out.
"Why?" North moaned, not feeling particularly grateful for being knocked out. Pain and confusion usually do that to a person when what feels like only a moment ago they knew more or less where they were and weren't in any pain.
"Because~... it very likely just saved your life. As well as Theta. Becoming whole isn't necessarily a bad idea... but the way Sigma was going about it with the agent formerly known as Maine... isn't the way to do it," Marley said, taking Eagle's place and really only serving to confuse poor North even more.
"It wasn't the same circumstances, but they saved me and D too, North," Ed piped up, moving to where his comrade could see him.
"York?" North asked, managing to lift his head a bit higher. Ed took off his helmet, gray with a tan stripe, and grinned at his comrade.
"I'm going by Ed these days, but yeah man. It's me," he told him. North shook his head and, finally, removed his helmet as well. He had a time convincing his arms and fingers that moving was a good idea, but once the helmet was off he was able to actually look around so he considered it quite worth it.
"I heard you'd died man. What's up with..." North began, staring at the very much alive York, only to be distracted by a loud boom. "What was that?" Marley looked out the window and chuckled.
"That'd be Recovery One blowing up the Dummies I'd left behind in your place, North. Congratulations, you're legally dead," she said. "Oh and, Meta won't be hunting you. I left a Dummy of Theta behind too. Should mess with his systems a bit. Same as if he tried to scavenge Tex's cloak... if their ship crashed that is. Or maybe Flowdie dumped the body? I... I really don't know." North stared at the woman, clearly wondering how he knew her.
"North, meet Project Red. Project Red, North," Ed said, complete with hand motions.
"Hi North. I'm Agent Burgundy. That's Agent Black, this is Agent Lock. Feel free to plow a field with their faces the next time you get the chance, because they won't hesitate to do it to you," Eagle said from the corner, motioning to the other two Agents on the ship and sounding rather irritated with them.
"Aw come on Eagle Eye! I was just trying to make sure that you could handle yourself if the enemy gets inside the range of your rifle!" Marley protested. North had a feeling she was pouting under her helmet.
"Ah. Sniper with crummy hand to hand skills. Gotcha," North said with a nod. Eagle growled, not moving an inch. North winced. Even if the guy was bad without a weapon, Eagle managed to be intimidating.
"Hey, I'm a marksman and I can fight just fine without a weapon," Ed said, adding his two cents.
"I'm not that bad. Besides, as long as I have grenades, I'm good," Eagle defended, sounding only mildly like a pouting child. North blinked at that, staring at the burgundy sniper.
"What?" he asked.
"I've got a good arm, good aim, and have worked out how to carry well over twenty grenades at a time. As long as I have them and my Betty," Eagle stroked the stock of the sniper rifle slung across his back, "I'm good." North shrugged.
"I dual wielded sniper rifles to fight my sister who was using a mini-missile launcher. It's not outside the realms of possibility," he said. Eagle blinked behind his helmet, then a devious smile spread across his hidden face.
"Oh, I think we'll get along wonderfully, North. Now you just need to pick a name that won't make Freelancer suspicious when they hear it," he said.
"I'm thinking... Jack," North said.
"Welcome to the Phantoms, Jack," Marley said holding out a hand. Jack eagerly took it, sealing the deal, not knowing that it was Wash that had dealt with his body... and South.
/*/
Red and Kai were having a friendly competition when Red suddenly jerked back and clapped a hand to his radio. "What? What?! Another one?! Marley! Why do you keep bringing in Freelancers!?" the man exclaimed. Kai blinked, totally lost, while the man paced and growled, clearly not happy with the conversation he was having. "Fine fine. But I'm not too sure about this Wash fella," Red finally said before clicking off his radio. "We got a new Freelancer comin' ta town. Marley wants you to cooperate with him," he told Kai.
"Alright," Kai said with an accepting shrug. Red gave her a look, then walked away, shaking his head.
"Let's hear you say that when the Freelancer gets here," he said, stalking off to prepare a decent welcome for said Freelancer. Sure Marley hadn't given them a time-table, but Red had a feeling it was best to get started on that welcome all the same.
/*/
When he touched down, it was with a sigh. This was going to be a dead end, he just knew it! Still, orders were orders, and he was a soldier. Perhaps not the best, but he was a soldier nonetheless. He decided to start with Blue Base, seeing as it was the closest. When he reached the foot of the ramp, a figure in yellow armor came bouncing out toward him. "Hiya! You the Freelancer I was told was gonna be dropping by?" she asked. His mind went blank for a moment, before his orders reasserted themselves.
"Hi. I'm Agent Washington. This is Blue Base, correct?" he asked, refusing to lower his guard more than it already was. This woman... she was unsettling.
"It was," she said, sounding for all the world like she was pouting. He decided to ignore the tone, and address the problem her statement posed.
"Was?" She nodded with a heavy sigh.
"Everybody's gone. Transferred. Something about this base being obsolete now, or, whatever," she said vaguely, and a little sadly, waving her hand to indicate the base behind her. He looked at it, noting that it was, in fact, one of the older styles of bases used by the Simulation Troopers of Project Freelancer.
"Right," he said with a small nod. "Where did they go?" he asked, not about to lose a potential lead, even if it came from someone as odd as the young woman in front of him.
"I don't know! All different places. Nobody told me anything," the woman snapped, waving her arms angrily. He fought down feelings of sympathy. Now wasn't the time. He needed to find... It.
"Well, I'm trying to locate some people who have experience with the Freelancer program," he told her, hoping she'd be able to at least point him in the right direction. She tilted her head, then shook it.
"I wasn't here for most of the action, and then, when I was here, I was sent to the caves by my idiot leader, and then got tracked down and yelled at by my overprotective big brother. Red might know something though. Follow me," she said rapidly before jogging off toward the other end of the canyon. "Ya coming or what, Wash?" she called from the top of a nearby raise, looking back over her shoulder. He shook his head. This wasn't what he was expecting at all. Still, it was better than a flat out dead end, and at the moment... he'd take all the luck he could get. Heaven knew he had had far too little of it in his life.
/*/
Red saw Kai come bounding into view, rifle on her back, and grinned before setting up his cardboard decoys. He'd once heard Marley telling Flowdie about it, chuckling all the while, and had decided it was too good to pass up. So, when Washington was in position, Red triggered the first cut-out. "Halt, in the name of the Re... *ahem * 'light-ish red' army. This base is operating at full capacity. And if you come in here, you're gonna get in to a big... uh-um... slap-fight!" he called, trying his best to mimic Doughnut, before he got the name Eagle Eye. He was met with limited success.
"Heuhhh... I'm gonna have to call you back," he heard the new Freelancer say before he advanced a bit further. Red noticed Kai a little ways behind the Freelancer, shaking with repressed laughter. He grinned. Up next was his Simmons cut-out. But first...
"Don't come any further, ooh la la!" Did Washington just flinch? Red didn't have time to ponder that reaction before he triggered the Simmons cut-out. "This is your last warning, stay out! I love math!" he yelled, doing a slightly better impersonation of his former Yes Man.
"What in the..." Washington quietly wondered, staring at the cardboard figure. Red grinned, but continued with his script.
"Your only hope of survival is to suck up to my commander!" Washington paid the cut-out no more mind as he stalked closer to the base, causing Red to trigger the Grif cut-out, which he'd used as stress relief recently and hadn't had the time to replace, so it was rather singed and riddled with holes. "And this is another warning. I know the other warning was supposed to be the last one, but I never really listen to orders, 'cause I'm too cool for the army! And lazy. Did I mention lazy?"
"This is gonna be a waste of time, I can tell already," Washington said with a resigned sigh, even as he continued closer to Red Base. Red popped up himself, right in Washington's path.
"Ye~ah! Freeze intruder! Stop yer intrudin' right there!" he yelled, aiming his favorite shotgun at the relatively-soon-to-be-ex-Freelancer.
"Who made these things?" Washington asked, clearly thinking he was talking to himself.
"I did," Red remarked, allowing the cut-out hologram to terminate, showing that he was, in fact, the real Red. Washington jumped slightly. If Red hadn't been watching closely, he wouldn't even have noticed, but since he had...
"Wait, you're real?" Washington asked, bringing his gun up.
"Of course I am. You fell for a classic misdirection. I still got it. Heh heh," Red chuckled, lifting his shotgun to the sky and resting it against his shoulder in the least threatening posture he'd take around Washington before Marley gave him the all clear.
"Everything okay out there?" Lopez asked, somehow back in the canyon and speaking English rather than the Spanish he'd been stuck speaking for the past year or so.
"We're fine Lopez! Just greeting the new Freelancer!" Red called back, never taking his eyes off said Agent.
"New Freelancer? Eso es todo, me voy. Hasta luego, idiotas," the robot said. A moment later, they heard the Warthog start up and drive off. Washington decided to ignore the suddenly Spanish robot and focus on the soldier in front of him.
"Well. It seems you've had some experience with the Freelancer Program. Perhaps you can answer my questions then," he said, hoping it was true but attempting to keep his hopes from getting too high.
"Oh sure! Tex came and kicked my team's collective butt until Eagle nailed her with a sticky grenade and blew her and Blue Team's tank up. Heh heh, classic," Red said, slowly drifting off into good memories.
"Well. This had been really... informative. But I need to find someone who has experience with artificial intelligence," Washington sighed, believing Red would be no help at all.
"Alright. You want to find Caboose then. He got infected for a while I think," Red said, playing by the script Marley had given him, though she had instructed him to call her once Washington left. Apparently, she had a bit of a soft spot for the young Freelancer.
"Great. Caboose! Do you know where he is?" Washington asked. Oh, how naively gullible. Poor guy had no clue what he'd gotten himself into by coming here, nor what he was asking. It was so tragic it was funny, and so funny it was tragic.
"Sure do. But I have to warn you, Caboose is... special. And don't ever ask him to help you, he'll end up shooting you. Ask him to help the other guy, and get him shot by the walking disaster," Red said. Yeah, that's right, he wasn't a total heartless bastard. Just don't tell Grif.
"Um..." Washington said, suddenly not all that keen to find this Caboose person. 'Good for him,' Red thought, thinking about the walking disaster.
"Rat's Nest. You'll find Caboose at the Rat's Nest Blue base. And take Kai with you. Ever since her brother got shipped out she's been despondent. An adventure is just what she needs to feel better!" Washington took the information and left without a word, though Kai went after him, chattering on about her brother. When they were both out of sight, Red called Marley. "Washington just left. And he took Kai with him."
"Excellent. And your sure Wash is going to let her stay with him?" Marley asked. Red frowned slightly. It was hard to tell from the distortion, but it sounded like her voice was strained. He shook it off. Eagle and Ed were with her, they should be able to handle whatever it was. He had his orders.
"Yes. I sure hope you have a plan, Marley, because otherwise... training Dex is gonna blow up in your face. Big time," Red said, imagining how Dex was going to react to hearing Kai had left with Washington. Marley chuckled.
"Oh, I have a plan, but I need the Reds and Blues all together, along with Wash, to make it all work. If it does work we'll be killing two birds with one stone. If not... well. I never did like Maine. Stupid ox man with a Harvard degree." Red blinked.
"What?"
"None of your concern, Red. Just go pick up Dex and Rick, then head to the abandoned power-plant. Let me worry about Kai," Marley said sharply before the line went dead.
/*/
Kai was excited. She was finally getting out of Blood Gulch! There was a chance she'd meet back up with her brother! Though... she could have gone without the grump. He was really cramping her style with all his 'rules' and 'protocols' and 'orders'. Still, they were going to pick up Caboose. She may have only known him for a few weeks, but she saw a kindred spirit in the young man. Finally, after what felt like forever, they reached Rat's Nest. Wash fairly fled the ship to get away from Kai, who had succeed in driving him crazy in the confined space. But then a really grumpy guy cut them off with an, "Oh no, hell no! Excuse me Sir, but no gosh darn way!"
"You must be Lieutenant Miller," Wash said calmly, turning to the angry man.
"I got Reds comin' out my backside here boss. Then you show up and take away one of my men? For a-what did you say this was for?" Miller ranted on, turning slightly to direct his last words to the Privates lining the balcony.
"Secret mission, Sir," one of them called back. Miller reacted with shocked dismay.
"Aw, you gotta be- oh what?!" Looking around, Wash scoffed lightly.
"I think you have bigger problems on your hands than troop assignments, soldier. How about getting some of these vehicles back in working order?" he asked. Kai was beginning to wonder where this seemingly unshakable calm was coming from. She had him squawking like a school girl on the way over.
"What the hell do ya think I'm talkin' about? This is your fault! You sent us the new guy. He said he was good with vehicles. All he does is talk to 'em. Talk to em'! What the hell is that all about? And now look at the darn things!" Miller ranted. Looking over, Kai had to agree with the two grumps. Those were some pretty messed up vehicles all right. She decided to leave them to their grumpy old man talk and walked over.
"Hum... first off, let's put that fire out," she mussed, then wandered off for a fire extinguisher. When she got back, it was to a rather happier Lt. Miller.
"Problem? Heh heh, hell no. It must be Christmas morning and no-one told me. You stay right there, and I'll get him for ya. Private Jo-Annis. Jo-Annis! Jo-Annis, where the heck are you?" Kai heard one of the men sigh and say,
"Sir, for the millionth time, my name is pronounced Jones. Jones!" However, Lt. Miller didn't seem to hear. Or care.
"Jo-Annis, I need you to go down to the brig, untie Caboose, and get him up here," he told the Private.
"Me? Alone?" Jones asked, sounding rather afraid. Kai sighed and put down her tools.
"I'll get him Sir. I served with Caboose for a while, I know how to handle him," she said, walking forward. Miller turned toward her sharply.
"You do?" he asked, shocked. She shrugged.
"Sure I do, but I wouldn't mind an escort down there. I don't know my way around after all," she said.
"I'll take you ma'am," Jones said. She met him in the door way and off they went, down into the bowels of the base. "So... how long did you serve with Caboose?" Jones asked. Kai shrugged.
"Couple weeks. Everyone but me got transferred not too long after I got sent out to Blood Gulch, something about the base being obsolete. If Wash hadn't come, I'd still be stuck in that box canyon," she said, sliding around a Blue going the opposite way. Jones hummed, pulling out a key card.
"That's not very long," he remarked.
"Eh, when you're kindred spirits, you just click," Kai countered, then blinked in surprise as Jones swiftly moved to the other side of the corridor. "Uh... why'd ya do that?" she asked.
"You're a kindred spirit to the Walking Disaster. No offense, but I suddenly don't feel too safe around you," Jones said, aiming his gun at her. She rolled her eyes.
"He has confirmed brain damage, I don't. You're safe," she said dryly, unconsciously channeling her brother. Jones let out a breath of relief and moved back to his previous position just in time to open the cell with Caboose in it. "Hey-ya Caboose! Ready to get out of here and go on an adventure?" Kai said when she saw Caboose, who was, in fact, tied up.
"Ah! Kai! I did not know you would be coming! I would have made muffins!" Caboose said happily. Kai laughed and pulled out her knife.
"I know you would have, Caboose. Now hold still while I cut this rope," she said, then put actions to words and cut him loose. "And no helping the man behind me. He's cool."
"Okay! Why are you here?" Caboose responded, climbing to his feet, hand staying clear of his magnum.
"Like I said. Adventure! Come on, there's a new grumpy guy I want to introduce you to," Kai answered, looping her arm with his and leading him out. Jones trailed behind, quite confused by this strange turn of events. "Oh, and this guy called Miller wanted to see you," Kai added. Caboose nodded and soon they were exiting the corridor into the motor pool.
"You wanted to see me, Principal Miller?" Caboose asked, running up to the newest grumpy guy.
"Yes. Caboose, this here is Special Agent Washington from Blue Command. He has something fan-tastic he needs to talk to you about," Miller said, then turned to Kai. "How'd you... ?"
"Just need to know how to talk to 'em, that's all," Kai said with a shrug before heading back over to the wrecked vehicles, which Miller noted weren't smoking anymore.
"Command? Oh no. They never have good news. Did somebody die? Was it my Mom? Is she dead? Or my Dad, did my Dad die again? Oh no," Caboose rambled in mild terror. Washington stared at Caboose in what could only have been confusion. Kai quietly snickered. Oh, if only she could see his face in that moment!
"What is this? I-I don't..." he stuttered. Kai cackled and decided, this was far more entertaining than fixing the vehicles so she set down the tools and leaned against the wrecked tank to watch the unfolding drama.
"Heh heh, you see? He's yours now, heh heh heh, no take backs," Miller chuckled, standing back with his arms crossed.
"Is it my brother? Was my brother killed? That's it, isn't it? My brother is dead!" Caboose wailed.
"What? No, nothing like that," Washington said, turning back to Caboose, still completely bamboozled.
"Oh good. Because I don't even have a brother. How sad would it be to not have a brother and to lose a brother all in the same day?" Caboose asked, finally calming down.
"No-one died!" Wash yelled. Kai was fairly sure he was refraining from tossing his arms up in frustration. "Private Caboose, you were stationed at Blood Gulch, correct?"
"Yeah. That was fun," Caboose said, clearly thinking about all the craziness that went down in that canyon.
"And our records indicate you were infected by an aggressive artificial intelligence program at one point. The Omega A.I.? Is that..."
"No way! Omega was an A.I.?" Kai shouted.
"Yeah. That wasn't as much fun," Caboose said. Kai's eyes went wide as something Marley had said came back to her. 'Alpha, Beta, and Omega were all here for a time... but then Alpha and Beta had the bright idea to try and kill Omega. That... just made Blue Team's problems worse.' She'd said that a few moments before she confirmed that Caboose had brain damage.
"They shot up his head," she breathed, horror gripping her heart as the realization settled in. Wash glanced her way, but refocused on Caboose quickly.
"Okay, well, I need you to come with me. I'm investigating a critical issue and... you seem to be the only person with the knowledge and experience necessary to help me," the Freelancer told the Blue soldier, then paused and sighed. "And I just realized how ridiculous that sounded once I said it out loud. Nonetheless, I need you to come with us."
"Can I have a word with him first Sir?" requested Lt. Miller. Kai shrugged and turned back to the vehicles. She really had to thank Dex for all those after school lessons on mechanics someday. By the time the old grumpy guys were done talking and Wash was leading Caboose back toward the ship, Kai had finished one Warthog.
"Man, the Reds at this base are rough on vehicles! It took me this whole time to fix even one!" she remarked, looking back toward the two men.
/*/
"I don't see why we need another grump," Kai complained, arms crossed from her position behind Wash on his Mongoose.
"He's the only other person Caboose knows who has experience with the A.I. and Project Freelancer. And he's intelligent. I need him, if only to keep me sane," Wash said. Kai chuckled.
"Oh, sure, Church'll keep you sane," she said, clearly finding quite a bit of amusement in the thought. Wash shook his head and was quite glad to find that they had reached the co-ordinates for Church's re-location.
"And you're sure this is where we can find this guy?" Wash asked, looking at the dilapidated base.
"I think so. We all found out our new orders at the same time; he tried to hide his from me so I would not know where he was," Caboose answered. Kai snickered.
"Yeah, and then you stole them from him when he was distracted," she said.
"Yeah. He wasn't too happy about that," Caboose said, almost mournfully.
"And he knows about Freelancer as well," Wash said, not quite asking. Caboose nodded, still walking toward the ill-maintained wall.
"Oh, yeah, he knows the most. He knows uh, all about your A.I. game. He dated Tex!" the simple soldier replied happily. Wash froze, then turned to look at the regulation Blue soldier.
"Agent Texas? Um, how could a person..." he began, clearly confused, before a sniper shot cut him off, impacting the ground between him and Caboose. Kai had hung back. "Fudge! Sniper! Get down!" Wash yelled, diving and rolling to come up in a crouch behind a large-ish rock. Caboose was confused. Why were there bullets?
"Okay, that was your one warning shot! The next one's goin' right between your eyes!" a voice called out, along with the faint sound of a shell casing being ejected from a rifle.
"Private Caboose! Get down!" Wash barked. Kai shook her head and ambled up to the freaked out Agent.
"Has no-one told you about Private Leonard Church?" she asked.
"Uh..." Wash blanked, a little shocked by her calm amusement.
"His aim? It's almost non-existent. Caboose is fine. You're actually safest when Church is trying to hit you," Kai informed the flummoxed Freelancer. "It's when he's aiming for the guy beside you that you need to worry." This did not fill the Freelancer with confidence. Meanwhile, Caboose had recognized the voice of the sniper.
"I know that voice! Church! Church! It's me! Your all time best friend!" he yelled.
"Caboose? Caboose is that you?" Church yelled back, though he sounded faintly distressed.
"Yes! It is me!" Caboose answered. Church open fired, but none of his shots connected, though they were usually in the general vicinity of Caboose. "I have missed you so much! It has been so long! Did you miss me?!"
"Fudge! I missed him!" the unlucky sniper lamented, having to reload his gun.
"You were serious about his aim then, weren't you," Wash remarked, shocked and amazed. Kai giggled.
"Yep~! He's notorious for it~!" she sang.
"How are you people still alive?" Wash asked, mostly to himself.
"The other side is just as bad... that or they feel that letting us live is more fun than killing us," Kai answered with a shrug. "Plus Dex is on the other team. We have a policy about killing family."
"I knew you did!" Caboose yelled at the dilapidated base, ignoring Kai and Wash's conversation about aim and death. Church was far more interesting than any of that stuff.
"Go away!" Church bellowed back.
"This is your friend?" Wash asked slowly.
"Yeah," Caboose confirmed. Kai hummed.
"More like our leader," she countered as Church started shooting again.
"And he's shooting at you," Wash said, completely confused by the conflicting signals he was getting from the Blues.
"Well, at me and stuff around me. Yeah, it is kind of like our thing. So he acts like he doesn't like me, but he really does. And and he might bring up something about me killing him, but that's only the truth. Uh it's a joke. You could play along if you want!" Caboose said, making his last sentence sound like a great honor. Or game. Whichever works better for you.
"Wait, that doesn't make sense. You did what? You... you killed him?" Wash asked.
"Hey, scram, seriously! Get the fudge outta here," Church yelled at them.
"Hey Church! This is Agent Washington! He needs to speak to you," Caboose told his 'all time best friend.'
"Agent Wa..." Church began, running to the edge of the watch tower and seeing it was, in fact, a Freelancer hiding behind a rock in his front yard. "You brought a Freelancer here? What's wrong with you?!" he asked, shocked. Kai shrugged, stepping out of her cover.
"Oh, you know, brain damage from a gun fight in his head, possible oxygen deprivation and gasoline poisoning," she said. "Nothing big."
"Kai? What are you doing here?" Church asked, taking a half step back and looking around nervously. Where Kai was, Dex was sure to follow. It was only a matter of time.
"Uh... getting out of Blood Gulch and going on an adventure with an Agent. Duh. Now open the gate so we're not screaming at each other," Kai yelled back.
"Uh, no can do Sis. See, this is a secure facility: nobody in, nobody out. Sorry, I guess you'll have to come back... never," Church tried, but he was to be denied.
"Oh no, then I guess we'll have to just walk through the huge hole in your secure wall," Wash said, looking pointedly at the gaping hole in said wall. Church followed his line of sight, then sighed.
"Fine, I'll open the fudging gate," he relented, disappearing back into the base.
"You're not too bad... for a cop," Kai said as they waited for the gate to open. Wash shot her a look.
"I'm not a cop," he said. She chuckled.
"What was your job before this one?" she asked. He sighed, head dipping a little.
"Internal Affairs," he admitted. Kai chuckled again, clapping a hand on his shoulder as the gate opened.
"See? Yer a cop," she said before sauntering inside. Wash shook his head.
"Not a cop," he muttered, following the two Sim. Troopers into the base.
/*/
Red swallowed heavily as he called Dex. Telling an overprotective big brother who happened to be a weapons expert that his kid sister had run off with a Freelancer wasn't the safest thing in the world to be doing. Especially when you had been the one to tell said Freelancer to take said kid sister with him... and you were going to be meeting up with said overprotective big brother. The radio connected and Dex's voice came through the device. "Hello, you're reached Red Base, Sargent Grif speaking, how can I help you?"
"Can the sarcasm, mustard head. A new Freelancer came through Blood Gulch. He was looking for people familiar with the Program and A.I. He took Kai with 'em when he left," Red barked, though he scuffed his feet a little. Hopefully Dex wouldn't hear him.
"What... did you just say?" Red winced. Oh yeah, Dex was ticked.
"Agent Washington came through Blood Gulch looking for..."
"After that, numbskull," Dex said, cutting him off with a snarl.
"He took Kai with him," Red repeated with dread.
"Any idea where he's headed?" Dex asked. Red hunched a little. Even when he was on another planet, a mad Dex was still terrifying, and said weapons expert was seething.
"Yeah. I'll..."
"Tell me the co-ordinates and meet me there."
"Fine. Remember that old, abandoned, power station? Chances are good Agent Washington will be headed there, sooner or later," Red said through gritted teeth.
"I'll grab Rick and meet you there. Come as soon as you can," Dex said before he cut the transmission. Red grimaced as he headed back inside to pack his things. That had gone about as well as expected.
/*/
Inside the Base, Kai was a little surprised Church had allowed it to remain so messy. He was the cleanest member of Blue Team... though perhaps that wasn't really saying much. "Okay, well... sorry the place is so messy. I would have cleaned up if I'd known you guys were coming. But hey, no-one called ahead," Church remarked, clearly not too pleased with their arrival. Kai winced. She knew angry sniping when she heard it. Long years of practice.
"How long have you been here?" Wash asked, looking around.
"How long? Um... What day is it?" Church asked.
"Today is Tuesday," Wash answered.
"I've been here fourteen months," Church reported. Wash jerked slightly, as though Church had reclaimed his attention from the desolate surroundings.
"What? Over a year? By yourself? Alone?" he asked.
"Uh, that's what 'by yourself' means. Cop," Kai snarked. Church looked over toward her and gave her a small nod.
"I can see the family resemblance," he remarked. Kai smirked, though she felt her face grow hot being compared to her amazing big brother. The army had been good for him, even if he didn't think so. "Anyway, yeah, it's been um... it's been great. I mean just, just... it's been great. Really great," Church confirmed, though he sounded more like he was trying to convince himself that his words were the truth. Wash shook his head slightly.
"No idiots disturbing your peace, no random explosions, no crazy chicks in black armor showing up with supposed to be dead soldiers. Yeah, I can see how that'd be great," Kai said, nodding. Caboose was just kinda... there.
"You really are an odd group of people. Hold on," Wash said and turned away from the Blues, having a radio conversation. "This is Agent Washington. I found some Blue Team members that have extensive experience with Omega."
"Did he just say Omega?" Church asked, visor focused on the Freelancer.
"Yeah. And some other words too," Caboose said with a nod.
"Roger that," Washington said, giving a sharp nod that was seemingly reflexive.
"Roger what?" Kai asked, trying to put her head up to Wash's radio, though the Freelancer was doing a good job of avoiding her.
"Recovery One out," Wash said, then turned to the Blues. "Come on, let's move out."
"Move out? Hey, at what point in this conversation did you think that we were buddies or something? I'm not goin' with you," Church resisted.
"Yes! You are not in our buddy club!" Caboose said.
"Shut up Caboose, and what did I tell you about that armor, when we had to pick new suits?" Church barked.
"You told me to upgrade!" Caboose answered happily.
"That's not an upgrade! This is Mark VI armor, that's Mark V. This is an upgrade," Church said, drawing attention to the fact that, yes, Caboose was wearing out dated armor.
"In a Top Ten List, five is better than six," Caboose declared.
"We're not a top ten list!" Church screamed in frustration.
"How do you ever get anything done if you're always arguing?" Washington asked in a tone of wonder.
"We don't! That's part of our charm. Quit messing it up!" Church squawked. Kai rolled her eyes at her team leader's melodramatics.
"Seriously, we never did anything in Blood Gulch. It was so boring! That's why I jumped at the chance to leave with you!" Kai said in that far-too-happy way she knew drove Church up the wall. He was almost as much fun to rile up as Dex had been. With Church's aim, it was actually more fun because the more he tried to shut her up, the more she could tease him for not being able to hit her. It was a win-win... for her anyway.
"And that's another thing. I'm not going if Kai is too. Dex would kill me if she got into anything dangerous!" the cobalt soldier fretted. "And Red no doubt told Dex that you took Kai, so he's going to be hunting you down and I do not want to be close to you when he catches up," Church added with a shudder.
"Yes. He is scary," Caboose concurred. Kai rolled her eyes at them.
"Oh please. Dex is a big teddy bear!" she said. Church gave her a flat look.
"You haven't seen him fight before, have you?" he asked drily.
"Sure I have! Marley showed me their training videos!" Kai responded.
"And you still think he's a 'teddy bear'?" Church asked incredulously. Caboose and Wash were watching the two like a tennis match.
"He's my big brother, Church. Of course I think he's a teddy bear," Kai responded matter-of-factually, arms crossed to show defiance. At this point, Wash decided that the banter had gone on long enough.
"Look, I know you guys are all wrapped up in your little 'red vs blue' battles..." he began, only for Caboose to cut him off.
"Blue vs red battles. No-one says red vs blue. It sounds stupid when you say it backwards," the poor, brain damaged, soldier said.
"But this is important," Wash carried on, acting as though Caboose hadn't spoken at all, "actual military operations. Not your fake simulation stuff. Something is hunting our top agents, and I need all the help I can get to stop it."
"Stop it? If it's killing Freelancers, I want to start a fan club for it. Build it a website," Church said. Kai shook her head.
"Marley was a Freelancer. And what about Ed? Dex risked his life to save him! And if Tex hadn't been there to keep Wyoming busy, Ed would have died. Would you build a fan club for Wyoming if he'd managed to kill Ed?" she asked.
"Wait... whose Marley and Ed?" Wash asked.
"Marley's this crazy chick who goes by Agent Black. Ed is... I'm not too sure. Who is Ed?" Church answered, turning to Kai.
"I don't know who he was before, but I heard them arguing about giving him any kind of tan armor. Something about it being a dead giveaway," she said with a shrug. "Sounded like they gave it to him anyway."3rw
"Tan?" Wash asked faintly.
"Yeah! Tan. Anyway, I want to help him," Kai said, turning back to Church. "It's what Dex would do, I'm sure of it."
"Fine. But I never saw you," Church said, looking away.
"Uh... o... kay. This thing is hunting Freelancers, and now that the ship from your canyon is crashed, we think it's more powerful than ever. It gains new abilities..." Wash said, trying to get things back on track. Church had other ideas.
"Wait wait wait, whoa. You found Tex's ship?" he asked, abruptly turning back around.
"We believe so," Wash confirmed with a nod.
"Where?" Church questioned the agent, taking a half step closer. Kai knew she wasn't a master at reading body language, but if she didn't know better... she'd say Church was desperate for any news of Tex.
"Come with me, and I'll show you," the Freelancer as good as challenged.
"Okay. I'm in," Church said, hefting his sniper rifle.
"Yes, this will be the greatest road trip ever!" Caboose cheered.
"If you say anything positive, I will fudging kill all three of us right now," Church declared darkly.
"Uh... there's four of us," Kai piped up.
"Oh I wasn't counting you. That would have driven Dex insane, and I wouldn't wish an insane Dex on anyone," Church said.
"Who is this Dex you all seem so scared of?" Wash asked, curiosity getting the better of him.
"Well, does the name Agent Black ring any bells?" Church asked. Wash nodded. "Dex is Agent Orange, hand picked and trained by Agent Black."
"Wait... she's Agent Orange's little sister?" Wash asked, pointing at Kai. Church nodded. "Okay. Suddenly feeling nervous." Kai rolled her eyes.
"Don't we have an adventure to be going on?" she asked. The Freelancer shook himself and led them to their transport, though he was having second thoughts about taking Kai with them. Project Freelancer didn't know a lot about the Color Agents, but they knew enough to be cautious.
/?/
A/N: So... yeah. Kai's along for the ride. How's that gonna affect things? And Dex isn't gonna be waiting for Red at his base knowing what he knows. This is gonna be interesting. Also, it's gonna be a while before there are any more new chapters in this one. Still working out the end of the arc and how I'm gonna play it with the A.I. I'm hoping to save them but... it's gonna take some doing.