Disclaimer: I don't own RvB.
A/N: I recently re-vamped this story, so if you're a recurring reader, I recommend you go back and read through to catch all the little changes I made. Mostly concerning Wyoming. Anyway, onward!
Episode 37: The Phantom, the Meta, and the Rejects
Wash was in shock. Pure, unadulterated, shock. How could he not be? He was surrounded by ghosts! Granted they were in different armor, but the voices were the same! It was unnerving really, being around his old team... even if it was incomplete. He felt like the rookie again, which was a feeling he thought he'd shaken after the MoI had crashed. "Oi, Wash, you feeling alright man?" Marley asked as she came closer. Wash sighed, shaking his head.
"I'm in a ship with a bunch of ghosts, a couple A.I., and a team of idiots. So no, I'm not okay," he said. Marley chuckled.
"Relax Wash. You may be the rookie to the Phantoms, but Project Red and Blue Team... they'll look up to you. You're the mid-range specialist. And who knows, maybe a little Red and Blue logic is just what you need to pull yourself together. As it's been said, they may be idiots, but they're lucky idiots," she told him.
"My lucky idiots," Flowdie said, exiting the cockpit. "Why don't you..."
"NO!" Marley said, overriding him. He crossed his arms, almost as if he were pouting, and stared at her. "I need you on my team. Most of the new Phantoms are snipers, Flowdie. In fact, all of them are! We've already got Ed and Frank, and Dex isn't too bad with a sniper... do you really want to add Jack to that? You're a close in kinda guy, like Wash. We need you."
"Actually, Miss Marley, if Mr. Flowers were to join the Blues, the teams would be equal in manpower and skill," Delta decided to say, debunking her statement. Marley groaned.
"Not what I meant, Delta," she moaned.
"Hey, ya can't argue with the Logic A.I," Flowdie declared happily, putting his hands behind his head and leaning back against the wall of The Phantom. Marley set her visor to clear and gave the all too smug man a glare before turning to the other and putting on her best puppy eyed pout.
"Wash, back me up here," she pleaded.
"Jack! Come on, don't you want to be on a team with me again?" Flowdie entreated. The others held up their hands.
"Hey, leave me out of it," they said as one, causing the Reds to chuckle.
"Eagle~!" Marley sang, hands clasped in front of her.
"You've reached the life model decoy of Franklin Doughnut, please leave a message," the sniper said, mimicking an answering machine and causing the others to chuckle.
"Do you really want to lose Flowdie?" Marley asked anyway.
"Your message has been recorded. Expect a reply... um... never," Eagle intoned before he went to take Flowdie's place as the co-pilot. The ex-Freelancers were pretty sure Marley was sulking but honestly, they were too busy chuckling to care.
"I like Flowdie. He's a real sweet guy," Kai said, piping up for the first time in a while. Dex, who could hear perfectly well from the cockpit, sighed heavily.
"Marley... You and Flowdie are the only two Phantoms I know. Kai trusts Flowdie, I trust him, and besides, he's always been Blue. Please... just let him go," he said. Hearing this, Marley let out a defeated sighed.
"Fine. But he stays on my ship!" she said, latching onto his arm. Wash, Ed, and Jack looked at the pair in shock.
"Uh..." they confused. Marley sent them all a dirty look through her clear visor.
"Mine," she declared, holding the stunned, but very pleased, Butch Flowers tight.
"Finally," Rick declared, sprawling in his seat with a smirk.
"What?" asked the other three Phantoms, Wash having been unceremoniously induced into the group.
"Yeah, it's been brewing for a while now. I'm kinda glad Marley's decided to throw sanity and reason to the winds and just claim him. Watching her try to push him away was getting a little tiresome. Besides, they argue like an old married couple anyway," Eagle said with a chuckle. Wash shook his head.
"I've died and gone to crazy-ville," he muttered. Ed chuckled.
"That's what I said," he said. "They told me I'd always been in crazy-ville." Wash sighed, giving in. There really wasn't anything else he could do at the moment.
/*/
With the pointless bickering about the teams settled, a rather pleased Flowdie now on Blue Team, they touched down at the power-plant. A Mongoose was already there, along with a whole bunch of broken bodies. "Well... crud," Marley said, summing up everyone's thoughts on the matter rather well.
"Ya don't say?" Dex remarked, pulling out twin maulers. Marley did a double take.
"Where did you get those? And where did you keep them?" she asked. Dex shrugged.
"Found 'em on a mission, stashed 'em in my inventory. Pretty little nasties ain't they?" he asked, dark glee coloring his words as he raised his 'pretty little nasties'. His trainer shook her head.
"Inventory? What is that?" she asked. Dex gave her a look, though how it got translated through a helmet was a mystery, and asked,
"Did you seriously just ask that?"
"Okay okay! I know the definition, but how could you stash those in your inventory and then pull them out when we're no-where near an armory?" Marley clarified, waving away his aspirations on her intelligence.
"I... I don't know. It just... works?" Dex stammered. Marley shrugged.
"Eh, good enough for now. Let's go catch us a Meta!" she said, also readying her primary weapon.
"Um... it that... ?" Dex asked, nodding toward the weapon in Marley's hands.
"A self made syringe launcher? Why yes, yes it is," the woman said happily, caressing the machine. It looked like the mad love child of a rail gun and an old gangster style Tommy gun. Marley had attached a round cartage filled with syringes to the split barrel of a decommissioned rail gun. The re-purposed medical tools were filled with ominous liquid that had a slight green glow.
"I'm almost afraid to ask, but... what's in the syringes?" Ed asked, regarding the strange weapon with slight fear.
"Right now? A fast acting paralytic agent, meaning it'll stop the baddie from moving," Marley answered. Ed swallowed heavily. He did not want to know what else she loaded into those things. "Wash? This was your mission long before we came on. Orders?" Marley asked the steel and yellow soldier. He cleared his throat nervously as his old teammates turned to him with an air of curiosity.
"U-uh..." he trailed off, caught entirely off guard by their seeming willingness to go along with any plan he came up with. "We'll... flank him?"
"Good start, but now we need a middle and a finisher, Wash," Marley prompted.
"Uh... Blue team goes along that wall," Wash pointed to the left, "Red team takes that one," the right, "and I'll come from the front?"
"Meh, your delivery could be better and you need some back up, not to mention the fact that I count you as part of Blue Team, but decent enough, if we had standard weapons. We don't. Take that into consideration, as well as our specialties. Red's a close combat specialist, Dex is basically a tank, and the rest of us can hold our own in close quarters, excepting Eagle. I say we swap him for Jack and have Blue Team split up, you included, while Project Red goes in close. Blue team backs us up while we knock Meta down and out. What do you think, Wash?" Marley countered. Wash sagged slightly.
"Yeah, sure. Whatever you say," he muttered. Marley shook her head with a sigh.
"Perhaps putting the newest Phantoms on the Teams was a poor decision. It's really crippling your development Wash. You do know you're technically the second highest ranked soldier here, having held the rank of Corporal before being accepted into the Freelancer Program, right?"
"Have you seen these guys?" Wash asked, jerking a thumb back towards the Phantoms. Marley leaned around him to see Ed playfully waving at her while holding a magnum and Jack saluting with his rifle. She came back to her original position and shrugged.
"So?" Wash gave a loud grunt of frustration, throwing his hands in the air and turning away from the madwoman.
"Unbelievable. Simply unbelievable," he muttered.
"Hey, guys? Uh, not to be a pain but, shouldn't we be, oh, I don't know, taking this monster down?!" Dex asked, brandishing his maulers in irritation. Marley nodded.
"Quite right Dex my boy. Come on then, shape up!" she barked, the teams falling into place. She stopped Wash from following Blue Team. "You'll be fine, David. No matter what, you're not going to disappoint me. I'm half expecting Meta to get out of this, so don't worry. As long as we make it out alive, we're good," she said, then pushed him toward his team. Shaking his head, Wash went, though her words wouldn't quite leave him alone.
/*/
Dex was itching for a fight, but held himself back. They needed Blue Team in position before they launched the attack, otherwise the Meta could escape. Burgundy flicked the acknowledgment light, followed by a click from Ed. A syringe flew through the air, propelled by a railgun, and struck the Meta. Grinning, Dex rushed forward and swung his fist as hard and as fast as he could to the large man's head. With a loud crack his armored fist impacted with the EVA helmet. Meta wavered, but didn't fall. Undeterred, Dex dropped and preformed a swift leg sweep, finally knocking the large man to the ground. "Oohrah!" Marley shouted, stalking over to the stunned and paralyzed rouge Agent.
"This guy is a freakin' tank!" Dex remarked. Marley chuckled darkly.
"Maine was always the strongest, physically, of the Freelancers. Do you know why he growls and hisses rather than talks?" she remarked. The other Phantoms shivered.
"He was shot in the throat," Ed said.
"Was it four, or five times?" Jack asked, turning to the other man.
"I was a bit more focused on not hitting everyone else on the freeway. Or driving off of the freeway. Or dying. I really didn't feel like dying," Ed remarked drily.
"Right. Sorry," Jack said, holding up his hands and backing away.
"Wait wait wait... you're telling me... that Agent Maine, who is now Meta, was always the most physically imposing and powerful of the Freelancers, and was rendered mute by several gunshot wounds to the throat!?" Rick exclaimed. Marley nodded.
"Yep~!"
"And we managed to get him down?" Rick asked, understandably having trouble with the thought.
"Aren't you proud?" Marley quipped, kneeling beside Meta.
"This was way too easy," Wash remarked, not taking his sights off the Meta, even if he was downed. Dex chuckled.
"Would you rather he have fought back?" he asked, already restraining the large man. It didn't matter if he was stunned and drugged, Meta was still one scary dude. And that story about getting shot in the throat while traveling down a freeway hadn't helped
"No. It just... doesn't feel right," Wash quickly corrected. Marley chuckled, reaching out to remove Meta's helmet. It was easier to reach the A.I. chips imbedded in his neck that way.
"This was just the first half, Wash. Now, I need to see if there's anything of Maine left in that head or if the A.I. have completely taken over," she said, pulling the helmet off the paralyzed former Freelancer. Deep, dark eyes stared back at her and she felt a shiver of fear go through her. Those aren't the eyes she remembered. These eyes looked... dead. Shaking her head, she carefully set about removing the A.I.
"Still, I can't help but think... this was too easy," Wash muttered uneasily, watching the proceedings from the balcony, nervously gripping his gun. This could go really bad, and knowing his luck... it'd happen soon.
/*/
Rick watched with morbid curiosity as Marley extracted the A.I from Meta, but it was with terror as the behemoth rose, knocking Marley aside with a single wave of his arm. "Sometimes... I hate being right," Wash groaned, trying to get a clear shot of his former comrade. Growling, the large man picked up his Brute Shot and turned it on Wash. "Oh man," the steel and yellow soldier did not squeak as he ducked back below the concrete wall.
"Oh no you don't," Rick muttered, tossing three wire tied knives at the Meta before dashing in close, hoping to out speed him. The first three knives were quickly dodged and the wires snapped like spider silk as the Meta swung at the maroon agent. Rick ducked under the thick arm, skidding on his knees. Not one to be put out of a fight that quickly, Rick had already pulled out more knives and sent them into the not-so-armored portions of the Meta's arm. The large warrior didn't seem too bothered by the knives, however, and merely growled menacingly at the annoying little man who dared defy him. "Well, you're about the most terrifying thing I've ever seen," Rick quipped, pulling out more knives, "but I'm hoping you aren't one of the fastest, or most skilled." Meta hissed as the annoying tomato can dashed at him, spinning titanium alloy blades in his hands. Thousands of small kinks were made along the Meta's arms and legs, with a few on his torso, but they were a minor annoyance at worst.
"Seven!" Dex shouted, and Rick dropped to the ground as the slightly larger orange armored man leapt over him, slashing at Meta's neck with the blades on his Maulers. Rick pulled out his pistols, which he'd modified to basically be the human equivalent of the Mauler with a detachable blade, and began firing at the weak points in Meta's armor. A moment later, the man was sent sailing through the air.
"Son of a... !" he yelled, before his exclamation was cut off with a painful sounding 'CRACK! Thud.' Dex growled as he got up, using the abused trunk of the tree he'd hit to help himself up, but maintained distance. He didn't like taking unscheduled flights, thank you very much. Meanwhile, Marley was doing her best to put another paralytic syringe into the rouge Agent while not hitting Rick, who was ducking and weaving around the large man, trying to catch him with his knives. Red, having finally shaken off his shock, moved in close with his shotgun. Dex watched as Meta got in three solid hits, knocking the two close combat Agents down and away. His hands clenched tightly around the grips of his weapons, Dex began to stalk closer to the melee.
"No-one... messes with my team, Meta," he snarled, firing shot after shot at the large soldier as he continued to advance. Meta dodged most, and took others, advancing all the while, just the same as Dex. The Hawaiian growled. He was running out of ammo. "Dang! You're built like a tank, ya know that?" Dex remarked, firing yet another shot at the Meta's head. He only got a growl in return. "Too bad for you... I'm also a tank!" he yelled, dropping and spinning his legs around toward his opponents. Meta dodged the sweep, but caught the rising uppercut to the underside of his unarmored jaw. "Hey... Marley... why haven't... we just... headshot!" Dex called between dodges.
"Because I haven't gotten Sigma out of there yet!" Marley called, firing another syringe at Meta. Somehow, the large man managed to dodge, even with his equipment malfunctioning, multiple cuts, stabs, and bruises, and armor low on power. "Oh come on!" The Blue team woke up and started firing from the balconies, Eagle throwing a few grenades every now and again for good measure. Meta avoided it all.
"Okay, Maine was good, but this is just insane!" Ed remarked.
"Yeah, and who's the one going toe-to-toe with him?" Marley snarked back.
"We're not even slowing him down!" Dex yelled, mildly panicked. "Man, I wish I had a Gauss right about now! Or maybe a missile launcher. Or one of those big round things that shoot mini-missiles. Yeah. Man, I love those things. Though, that big knife/grenade launcher thing Meta has is awesome as well. Doubt it has a whole lot of ammo, but dang is it awesome!"
"STOP FAWNING OVER META'S WEAPON AND... wait. That's it! Not a lot of ammo! Blue team! Be distracting, annoying, bullet magnets! Make him waste his ammo!" Marley shouted, believing she'd hit upon a decent plan. Hearing this, Dex disengaged, dragging his teammates out and behind the most solid piece of cover he could find.
"Roger that!" Wash called. "Caboose, talk to him," he said, not even turning to look at the simple soldier as he continued to shoot at what was once his friend.
"OKAY!" Caboose said, in typical Caboose fashion. "HEY! BIG GUY THAT IS REALLY SCARY! HAVE YOU MET MY BEST FRIEND CHURCH?!" Meta growled, clearly more ticked off than before, then charged the stairs.
"Now, Sniper!" Marley barked. A rifle went off, the bullet bouncing around and distracting pretty much everyone before it finally hit Meta in the leg. Growling and hissing, somehow at the same time, Meta turned and ran away.
"I hit him? Oh yes! I am awesome!" Church shouted. There was a loud CLAG and a shout of 'ow!' before they all heard Wash laying into the cobalt soldier.
"It only counts if you call it!"
"Bat droppings dude! I call bat droppings!"
"You let him get away!"
"I hit him! The only one who could boast that is..."
"The entirety of Red Team, Church. You're not as great as you think you are."
"BOYS!" Marley bellowed, then held up the A.I. chips she'd recovered from Meta. "As fun as your gun measuring contest is, I'd like to remind you that part of our mission has been completed. We have most of the Meta's A.I. units. That combined with the secondary virus in his armor will weaken Meta significantly. I'm confident that the next time we meet him, he's going down. Now all we have to do is find him again." Everyone stared at her in confusion.
"But... don't you, like, know everything?" asked Eagle.
"Careful there Eagle, your pink is showing," Dex remarked, more or less offhandedly. Eagle shoved him 'playfully.'
"Play nice boys. And no, I don't know everything, I just happen to know a possible path the future could have taken had I not mucked things up. Now that they are mucked up, however, it's more or less an educated guess whenever I say things such as 'Meta's going to Sidewinder to use their generators to power himself up again' or 'he's going to have a massive headache and be madder than an alligator who's been poked with an electric rod,'" Marley said, waving a hand at them all.
"Ya know... I'm not sure if I should be worried, or amused," Dex said, cupping his chin.
"Yeah... that last sentence was really off the wall. Even for Marley," Rick agreed.
"Ugh. Guys, listen, I really can't know what's going to happen. Even if I had visions about all of this burned into my memory, my actions have totally mucked things up. Dex isn't a lazy slob, Rick isn't a sycophant, Eagle doesn't act like he's gay, Red can tolerate Dex, Ed, Jack, and Flowdie, and possibly Wyoming, are alive... and that's just the humans! I haven't started on the A.I.s and armor enhancements we have," Marley said. Dex raised his hand.
"Yeah, about that, I kinda vowed only to use the time distortion unit for emergencies," he said, completely unrepentant. Marley sighed.
"Of course you did. Because that's just how you roll, isn't it?" she remarked drily.
"Yep!" Dex replied, far too chipper for Wash's liking. He growled at the annoying man, but the orange-armored soldier was unfazed. Meta would do that to you.
/*/
It was crazy. Completely and utterly insane. There was just no way around it. "Uh... guys? We still need to figure out where we're going," Church pointed out. Wash growled. It was really saying something when the jerk who tried to shoot one of his own soldiers, and failed miserably, was the voice of reason.
"Church is right. Where do we go from here?" Dex asked from where he was relaxing against the wall, visor trained on his sister.
"Memory is the key," Delta randomly piped up. Marley quickly turned around to regard the green A.I.
"Why would you say that? Here? Now? What?" she asked. Ed shrugged.
"He's been saying things like that lately. Did you host him?" he asked. Marley groaned and slammed her head into a near by wall.
"Yes. Yes, I did. Oh joy," she moaned, hitting her head again. Rick swiftly crossed over to her and put himself between her and the concrete. Putting his helmet up to her visor so she could see his eyes, the techie gave Marley his fiercest glare.
"Stop," he growled, holding her shoulders. Huffing, the woman pulled back and sank to the ground to sit cross-legged on the ground. Nodding firmly, Rick leaned against the portion of the wall closest to Marley, ready to intervene if she started slamming her head against it again.
"Okay, would someone please explain just what the heck is going on?! Why is Delta referring us to memories, what does you hosting him have to do with anything, and what is it everyone else seems to know that I don't?!" Wash screamed, filing the interaction between the two away for future reference.
"Easy, Wash," Marley said, trying to placate him. However, the mentally abused Freelancer would have none of it.
"No. I want to know what's going on. What aren't you telling me?" Wash pressed. Marley sighed, rubbing her neck.
"It's... not really..." she sighed, shaking her head. "There's a lot you don't know. There's a lot I don't know. You're just going to have to trust us... trust me. Okay?" she tried. Wash stared at her, uncompromising. "Right. Man this would be easier with an A.I. facilitating the transfer of information but what with your... experience... that isn't really a good idea..."
"How do you know about that?" Wash asked sharply. Marley huffed.
"Please David, give me a little credit here. I've always been good at gathering information," she said, crossing her arms. Rick startled.
"Wait... Agent Washington's real name is David?" he asked, shooting the Freelancer a look. What kind of look was up for debate, but it was a look none the less.
"That's what my parents called me, yes," Wash responded, eying the maroon soldier warily.
"Is it true you were the prime target for pranks when the Project was still functional?" Rick asked. Wash sighed while the Blues snickered and the Phantoms exchanged looks.
"Of course they'd tell you that. Poor, innocent, gullible, little Agent Washington, always the butt of somebody's joke," the steel and yellow soldier grumbled. Marley shook her head.
"No Wash, it's not just somebody. It's the universe. But don't worry, it'll get better soon, Wash. The Universe will soon stop laughing at you and watch in awe as you preform acts of bad-ass heroism and pull off daring escapes that leave everyone, even a good number of those who were there, wondering just how you managed to do it," she said. He stared at her.
"Really?"
"Yeah! Just give it a year or so, and don't mind the stupidity poisoning. We've all been exposed to that and I'm fairly sure there are no adverse effects," Marley said, waving her hand as though she could wave away his worries and his troubles. She couldn't, but Wash decided he'd go ahead and call it a 'valiant effort.'
"I still want to know," the Freelancer maintained. Marley sighed, shaking her head at the man.
"Stubborn as always, aren't you Wash?" she said. "Did you know Wash's Freelancer Quirk was holding grudges? He may have been the 'butt of everyone's jokes,' but when he was pranked, he'd always return the favor. In spades. Fun fact, easily half the pranks played on him were pinned on someone else because Wash's revenge pranks were notorious. And he could last weeks, sometimes months, before he unleashed his master prank," the ex-Freelancer told her pupils.
"Wait... so at least half the revenge pranks I pulled were on the wrong people?" Wash said, looking sharply at Ed, and to a lesser extent Jack.
"As far as I can tell, yeah. At least, from a certain point of view," Marley said.
"Hey, can we get back to that whole 'memory is the key' cryptic mumbo jumbo? I'm still confused about that," Church said.
"Memory may be the key, but be wary. Some things are best left untouched," Marley remarked darkly. "Some things are best forgotten."
"You know something. Something you say is best forgotten. What?" Wash pressed. Marley gave him a rather dour look through her clear visor.
"Like a dog with a bone, you just don't give up, do you?" she remarked dryly. Wash didn't move. The others were watching the pair, sometimes trio, like a tennis match. Only their comrades were much more interesting than a pair of athletes bashing a ball around. Finally, Marley sighed. "Alright. I know about the Alpha. What was done to it, who it was based off of, where it was moved, who was sent to guard it, the lies set up to hide it forever, the wacky circumstances that caused that web of lies to collapse, the whole life of the Alpha, and Epsilon. It's all been burned into my brain. Not like it was for you, but still. It's all up here," Marley said, tapping the side of her head, "spurning me on. Why do you think I made myself disappear? Why do you think none of the MIA Agents were ever found? Why do you think Flowdie is alive? It's because I knew, Wash. I knew! I knew what would happen, how it would happen... I just didn't always know where or when and that... that's what cost our friends so dearly. If I could have, I would have spared you Epsilon. I would have saved York's eye. I would have stopped Connie. I would have explained things to Carolina. I would have done a lot of things but ya know what? You're not the only one the universe loves to laugh at, Wash. Everyone else is just better at hiding it." This caused Wash to flinch slightly, but something apparently overrode his guilt.
"Wait... what does Alpha have to do with the MIA Agents and Florida?" he asked.
"Everything, Wash. Epsilon isn't dead. Alpha isn't dead. And Agent Florida... was the one tasked with building the web of lies that was meant to keep the Alpha hidden," Marley said, sounding a little hysterical.
"Church," Wash said, swinging around to look at the robot. Marley palmed her helmet.
"How on earth did you figure that out?" she asked.
"Well, Caboose was sent to Blood Gulch after Church was," Wash said with a shrug.
"TUCKER!" Marley yelled, throwing up her arms, "Private Lavernius Tucker was also posted at Blood Gulch Outpost Alpha! And how do you know it wasn't Red Team that held Alpha?!"
"'Blood Gulch Outpost Alpha,' Marley. 'Alpha.' Pretty clear if you ask me. Also, there are no previous records of Private Church's 'military' career," Wash said. Marley threw her hands up.
"Unbelievable!" she shouted. "Flowdie nearly dies on that assignment, trying to keep the Alpha hidden, and Washington, freaking Washington, figures it out in less than a week!"
"Well, Wash was always far more observant than anyone gave him credit for. Why else do you think he was slated for Internals? Or Recovery for that matter?" Jack pointed out.
"Guys guys guys! I'm not an A.I!" Church rebutted. Everyone turned to him and he got the feeling they were quirking their eyebrows at him.
"Dude... you really think ghosts exist?" Eagle asked.
"THEY DO TOO! You would not believe the amount of ghost stories my Nana told me and Kai when we were little. And they were scary! Like, so scary, just thinking about them gives me shivers. Some of them were worse than fighting a ticked off Agent Black!" Dex retorted, turning to his teammate.
"You got issues man."
/*/
After a two hour long debate of whether or not ghosts were real, which soldier had the most issues, who'd had or witnessed the most gruesome/funny/humiliating death/defeat, and which was scarier; ghosts or A.I.; the topic of discussion finally rolled back around to what they were going to do now and how they were going to deal with the Meta. "I'd say there was only one person who remembered everything the Director has done, but in light of Marley's confession, I guess we don't need to wake up Church's A.I. side. We don't need the Alpha when we have Black," Wash said.
"Ah. Problem," Flowdie piped up, sauntering toward the Recovery Agent, "she's been classified as MIA for over three years, which translates into KIA in most people's minds. Acting as a Phantom gives her more leeway and opportunity to get her missions done in a timely and effective manner. Haul her up before the court justice, and you take away that unanimity. It would be better if we could transfer the Director's files directly to the UNSC, but that's going to be difficult at best. So, what your left with, is the impossible, and the impossibly stupid. Pick your poison."
"Then we go to Command, unlock the Alpha, and turn him in to the authorities," Wash said. Marley sighed.
"And here we have a perfect example of Wash's ability to hold a grudge," she said. "Why don't you, instead of going in expecting to blow stuff up and tick people off, go in there and make it one of your famous revenge pranks. I could think of more than a few fun things we could do instead of whatever your currently planning," she said with a slight smirk. Wash seemed to be fighting an internal battle... that was decided for him as just about everyone began to cackle.
"Oil and saran wrap," Jack mused.
"Peanut butter, strawberry jello, peppermint gum, hair dye, and dried meal worms," Ed considered.
"A handful of take-out ketchup packets and a can of glow in the dark spray paint," contributed Flowdie.
"Viral videos and pop songs," Rick intoned evilly.
"Armory raid," Dex muttered, rubbing his hands together in wicked glee.
"Super glue and red clay," Red chuckled.
"Glitter rounds." Everyone stopped and turned to Eagle. Looking around at all the stunned helmets the young man shrugged. "What? If they exist, why not use 'em, right?"
"There is no such thing as a glitter round," Rick informed the man.
"But if you somehow have some, I'll take it!" Dex said, eagerly putting his hand in the air. Eagle chuckled.
"I'll see if I can't whip up some for a Magnum. I'm assuming all of you would like a few?" he said. Marley chuckled and turned to Wash.
"See?" she asked. He didn't respond, watching, transfixed, as Eagle sat down and began to craft glitter rounds for everyone.
"I'll take a clip of rainbow if I may," he finally said, giving into the lure of a pranking spree in Freelancer command.
"Hey, don't leave me out!" Kai and Church called at the same time, coming over. That was when Marley's face took on a considering look.
"Ya know what Wash... maybe we should wake up Church's A.I. side. He could cause even more technological mayhem that way than Rick, leaving our dear Maroon to wreck havoc in other forms," she said. Wash froze, then turned to her, slowly.
"Then we'd have four A.I.s running around Freelancer Command," he said. Marley cackled, rubbing her hands together.
"Aye, that we would. And with Church, Theta, and Gary using the base computers as their play ground, think of all the secondary pranks we could set up while D swipes their files and sends them to the proper authorities, thus bringing Freelancer and the Director down?" she said. Wash hummed, then nodded.
"Wait... don't I get a say in this?" Church asked.
"No," Marley and Wash said at once.
"He is the Alpha?" the other A.I asked, popping up beside their agents.
"Yes, and he's trying to pull himself back together but with you guys having split off, he's a bit... empty," Marley explained. If he could have, Church would have frowned at her.
"I'm not empty," he said, a little insulted. Marley chuckled.
"I said 'a bit,' ya big baby. Because of what has happened to you, you've regained a bit of... personality I suppose would be the best way to describe it. But I ask you, do you really feel emotion, or is it a bit more... hollow? A reflex almost, like trying to move a limb that has been amputated?" she asked. Church flinched. "I see. Now comes the hard part. Convincing you that you really are an A.I. unit and then further convincing you to allow me to host you."
"How about I just possess you?" Church asked. Marley blinked.
"Oh yeah. I almost forgot you had worked out how to jump from suit to suit. Well, that makes this a little easier. Please enter my armor, but take care. My head is not the friendliest of places for the unwary," she said. Church shrugged, and then a pale hologram exited him and entered Marley.
"Whelp, this is going to take a while. Anyone up for a game of cards?" Dex asked, collapsing to the ground and pulling a pack of playing cards out of... somewhere. Honestly, Wash had no clue. He wasn't so sure he wanted one either.
"Hey... I don't mean to rain on your parade or anything but... where are we going to get all this stuff? And how are you making glitter rounds Eagle?" Rick asked. Dex tutted.
"You have no imagination," he said regretfully.
"The power of the mind is astonishing," Eagle said seriously, nodding imperiously as he poured neon pink glitter into a plastic capsule, absentmindedly screwing it into a shell casing.
"You are a true flower child of indifference, ya know that?"
"Ah ah, Rick, that would be Hippie," Dex countered, waving his paint brush. Why he'd switched his cards for a paint brush, no-one knew. And he wasn't about to tell.
"Where did you get that?" asked Ed, eying said paintbrush warily.
"I have no clue... and I'm not so sure I actually want one," Wash told the man, pulling out a notepad and a pencil to begin his dastardly plots for Freelancer Command. Hey, if you can't beat them, join them, right? Marley chuckled and joined their preparations, trusting that her subconscious would guide Church through what she had in mind for him.
/?/
A/N: This... was not my best. But I'm not sure if I can make it suck less. I just can't win! *girly whimper* Okay, I'm better now. Maybe.
I feel like Wash. Meta just doesn't like me. Neither do fight scenes.
.
.
.
The Tex scene is going to be horrible. *Another girly whimper. Because I'm a girl.*
Regenengel3
Also... I have no excuse for the end of this chapter. Just... go along with the insanity. If it bothers you... well. Majority vote, and the author counts for three. Until the nays outweigh the yays, it stays as is.