Disclaimer: I don't own RvB. Or other references made in this Episode.
Episode 38: Journey of the Mind
Church looked around, and felt something he couldn't remember ever truly feeling. Terror. Complete and utter, soul crushing, mind numbing, unadulterated terror. He stood in a nightmarish complex made of shadow and ash and an eerie green glow emanating from cracks in the walls and floor, but the sky was pitch black. A void. Echos of gunfire, lingering screams, and an unnaturally calm voice saying empty words and false assurances whispered in his ears. It was truly a haunting place. "What... what is this?!" Church asked in a hushed voice, wishing he could flee but held in place by the creeping chill of the desolate complex.
"I told you, didn't I? My mind is not so friendly to the unwary," Marley's voice said from behind him. He spun around to find her staring at him with a sad look, visor clear for some unfathomable reason. Her armor was covered in drying blood and scrapes. If he hadn't known her armor was black and maroon, he would have had a hard time discerning what it's original color was. It was a grim reminder of the reality true soldiers faced.
"Marley..." he tried, but she held up her hand, her glove dripping blood and causing him to jerk back in horror. This... this was... wrong. What... why... how could this be her mind? Why did it look like... like... 'hell,' a small voice whispered to the horrified Church. He couldn't agree more.
"This is what happens to a real soldier, Church. We all have our scars... some are just better hidden than others," she said, staring at him so intently he felt she could see his soul... even as her eyes appeared to be cold and empty. Dead. Church was well and truly horrified now, another emotion he couldn't remember truly feeling. He sure felt it now.
"This is how you see yourself? A broken husk, drenched in blood?" he asked, trying to reconcile this image with the strong, independent woman he knew on the outside. He failed. She shrugged.
"Just imagine what Meta's head-space must have looked like," she said. He looked around.
"There would have been more people around, even if it was just the A.I," he said, trying to distract himself and why did that green look so familiar? It lent the complex a haunted look, but Church felt as if there was more behind it. Marley chuckled mirthlessly, drawing his attention back to her.
"Oh, the others are here, make no mistake of that. It's just... I intended for you to show up away from them. My mental representations... aren't always kind. To anyone," she said. Her voice sounded odd, Church now noticed. It wasn't quite the absence of emotion, but more as though her emotions were... muted, locked away. 'Or maybe she's just too tired to feel,' the voice prodded again and Church felt... cold. Just then, a mental representation of Doc ran up.
"Hey, you're that jerk who shot your own teammate. What are you doing here?" he asked, happy tone contesting greatly with his venomous words.
"He's here because I invited him, Mr. DeFrense. I want to help him. He's suffered several psychotic breaks," Marley told the medic.
"Oh. Can I help? I was trained in psychology after all!"
"No, you nitwit. Go away," Marley barked, though Church noted that once again her voice held no real emotion in it. 'Dead. She's so... dead. Inside. Has she been hiding this? How long? From whom? Why? Whywhwhywhy?'
"Okay..." Doc said, hanging his head and walking away, kicking a glowing pebble in front of him. Church was a little surprised.
"Wasn't that... a little harsh?" he asked. Marley shrugged, her continuing lack of life pushing Church towards a minor freak-out.
"Maybe. Come on, I want to show you a few things," she said, taking his hand and leading him deeper. The farther they went, the brighter the glow got until it was nearly blinding and then... it stopped.
"Where..." Church begun, until he found himself standing on a narrow bridge of land. The complex was gone, and so was the echos of what Church finally realized were all the battles Marley had fought in, haunting her. Instead of the war zone, the pair stood before a series of floating islands, connected by winding fingers of earth. This haunting landscape was lit with a cool blue-green glow that was far more soothing than the previous one.
"This... is the core," Marley said seriously. Church looked over and noted, with a jerk, that she was in jeans and a t-shirt. It was so strange seeing anyone outside his team out of armor, that he couldn't help staring. The sudden change also distracted him from the change in her eyes. While the Marley in armor had dead eyes, this Marley was just... Serious. "Yeah... when I'm in here... I can't seem to keep my walls up, so tread carefully," Marley said, slightly wistful. She turned to him with soulful eyes. "Tread carefully, for you walk on my dreams, my hopes, my fears, my failures, my joy, my sorrow... Here, you will encounter the Aspects of Personality. Learn from them, but do not subdue them. Find those which resonate with you, and learn how to feel, but do not take them in. I'd rather not become an emotionless shell." Church nodded solemnly, fully understanding the seriousness of what she was saying. As they went their separate ways, Church realized with a jolt that... he'd been talking to the Aspect of Seriousness ever since they entered the core. Shaking himself and refocusing on the task she'd set him, he soldiered on.
/*/
Looking around at the maze of bookshelves, the man sighed. "I thought it was Caboose's job to get lost," he muttered.
"Who's Caboose? Why is he lost? Who are you? Are you lost? Where do you want to go? Can I help you? Why aren't you shiny? What are you doing here?" asked a chipper voice from his left. He turned and jumped backwards in surprise. While the Marley on the land bridge had been dressed in dark blue jeans and a brown t-shirt, this one was dressed in pale bell-bottoms and a bright yellow tee. He noticed that there was a slight shine to her, and there had been to Seriousness as well. He wondered why that was, but decided to answer the shiny woman's questions.
"Uh... Caboose is one of my teammates, he's an idiot, I'm Church, yes I'm lost, I was told to find the Aspects that resonated with me so I could learn from them, maybe, I don't know, and I think I already told you that," Church rattled off, not pausing for breath. Yellow Marley chuckled.
"If you're looking for the Aspects, I'm Curiosity! Have you met Joy? She's my sister!" she said, bouncing slightly. The yellow glow around her almost glittering. Church nodded.
"I can see that. And no, I haven't. I think I've met... Seriousness? Or was it Logic?" he said, putting his chin in his hand. Curiosity hummed.
"What color was she?" she asked.
"Brown," Church answered. Curiosity nodded.
"Yep, that's Serious alright. Logic's Green!" she said. Church nodded.
"Makes sense," he said. Curiosity quirked her head.
"What's your full name?"
"Leonard Lucius Church."
"Hum. Are you sure that's who you are?" Church gave her a curious look, the irony not lost on him.
"Why do you ask that?" he asked. Curiosity chuckled.
"A better question is... who is Leonard Lucius Church?" she said, then pointed toward a narrow gap between two shelves. "I wonder if my sister Knowledge knows? Why don't you ask her?" Church looked to where the woman pointed. There appeared to be a room beyond. He turned back to the woman and gave her a nod.
"Thank you," he said, then proceeded to attempt to squeeze through. It soon became apparent that he wouldn't make it through that gap with his armor, and Serious' words came back to him. 'Tread carefully, for you walk on my dreams.' If this was the realm of Curiosity and Knowledge, then harming the bookshelves probably wasn't the smartest thing in the world to do. So, he set off looking for another way in, Curiosity trailing behind with wide eyes, taking in everything he did.
"Will you find a way? Is there another way into Nee-san's room? Will you find it? Why don't you just take off your armor? Can you take it off? Does that work in other people's minds?" she chattered. It was a little annoying, but it told Church what he needed. There was no other way in, meaning he'd have to find a way to take off his armor. With a deep breath he didn't really need, Church began to remove his armor. Curiosity watched with wide eyes as he took it off, drinking in his features. He was well built and trim, with slightly messy, sweaty black hair cut short and a goatee. His eyes gave her pause though. They were the same shade of green that lit the battlefield that The Soldier lived on. She shivered, the dimming of her glow drawing his attention. His clear green eyes regarded her with restrained curiosity, far different from the harshness of the Glow.
"Something wrong?" he asked.
"Why do you have the Glow for eyes?" she asked, backing away. The Battlefield was no place for Curiosity. It got people, good people, killed. Curiosity knew better than to investigate the Glow. Church furrowed his brow, wondering what she could mean, but before he could ask, Curiosity turned and ran. Frowning more heavily, Church decided he'd just have to ask Knowledge. Armor off and laying in a heap, Church squeezed through the gap Curiosity had pointed out to him and was met with a sharp eyed Marley in black slacks and a softly glowing dark purple Oxford.
"Hello, Alpha," she said sharply. Church swallowed heavily as those sharp, deep brown eyes seemed to look into his soul. Her stare was uncomfortable, causing him to shift uneasily. "You spooked my sister, Curiosity," Knowledge said, though it didn't sound accusatory. Church shrugged.
"I don't even know what I did," he said. She gave him a wry smile.
"It's your eyes, Alpha. Didn't you see The Battlefield when you arrived? Didn't you see The Soldier?" Unlike when her sister asked questions, Knowledge sounded more like she was stating fact. She was sharp, yet serene, and maybe a little amused.
"That was The Soldier?" he asked. She tilted her head slightly, that wry smile turning into a knowing smirk. Rather fitting, considering what Aspect she was.
"The Soldier and The Medic sometimes mix, so it is unclear which Aspect you truly met. The Battlefield blurs lines."
"Curiosity gave me a question for you. Who is Leonard Lucius Church?" Church said, deciding to shift the focus. Knowledge grinned and pulled a book from the shelf beside her. In blood red writing was his name.
"This book is all I have of Dr. Church," she said, but Church held up a hand.
"Hold up. Doctor?" he asked. She nodded and held out the book. Gently, he took it.
"Beware, Alpha, for you hold great Power in your hands," Knowledge said softly. "And I am only Knowledge, not Wisdom. I cannot tell you if it is wise to open that book, I can only give you the knowledge it contains." Church looked at the slender book in mild trepidation.
"Is there a way I can... just find out why we share a name when I know I'm not a doctor?" he asked. Knowledge nodded.
"You are an A.I based off of Dr. Leonard Lucius Church," she said. He sighed heavily and handed back the book.
"I don't care if I was based off him, that's not who I am," he said with finality. She smiled at him.
"Very well, Alpha," she said, placing the book back on the shelf.
"Would you stop calling me that?" he asked irritably.
"It is the name the Director gave you, Alpha. If you are not Dr. Church, and you are not Alpha, who are you?" Knowledge asked.
"I thought you were supposed to be Knowledge," Church said. Knowledge chuckled.
"I am, but I am Marlene's Knowledge, not yours, not David's, not Ed's, not Butch's. One person can only know so much," she said, then motioned toward the gap into the maze. "Return to Curiosity's Realm, then follow the Blue shelves. They should lead you to the next Aspect. However, you should keep your eyes peeled. Not all Aspects are as easy to find as my sister and I." Church nodded and thanked her before exiting her room.
/*/
Curiosity couldn't help but watch the Stranger as he came out of Knowledge's room. He seemed... Pensive. Thoughtful. But there was still no shine to him. He Intrigued her. Why did he have no shine? Was it because he had Fragmented? Was his lack of shine a symbol of his missing Aspects? Looking closer, consumed by her Aspect, she noticed that there was a little bit of a shine to him. A little bit of Purple and a pinch of her own bright yellow that were almost swallowed by a gray shine. What could that mean? She wanted to know. She had to know. She was Curiosity after all, and the motto of every good Aspect of Curiosity was to Run and Find Out. She would follow this Stranger on his journey through the Core, yes. As he followed the Blue shelves toward the Realm of her blue cousins, she stalked him on silent feet. He had put his armor back on and Curiosity wondered if it would endear him to Loyalty. She was the strongest Blue Aspect, though her sisters Trust and Peace had greatly diminished over the last decade and a half while sorrow grew stronger. All too soon, the Stranger had reached Loyalty's lagoon. Curiosity had yet to discover why Loyalty lived by a lagoon, while she and Knowledge lived in a book maze. She wondered if Stranger would find out. "Hello?" he called. "Anyone here?" Curiosity shivered. Even she knew shouting out questions like that could bring disaster. Luckily, Loyalty was strong enough to keep most other Aspects away. Anger and Deceit mostly. Not many of the Aspects liked those two.
"I am here. Who asks?" Loyalty challenged, remaining hidden in the swirling mists of her Realm.
"I'm not too sure who I am anymore, but the name I remember being called the longest is Church," Stranger said. Loyalty hummed, her form slowly defining itself.
"You bring Curiosity with you, Church," she declared. Stranger looked around, as though he could find her. Curiosity grinned. She was part of Marlene White, she wouldn't be found if she didn't want to be. "Curiosity, please. Do not play games with us like this. He is a Seeker, invited by The Whole. Join us." She sighed. She may be able to hide from Outsiders, but you couldn't hide from yourself. She came forward, giggling as the Seeker jumped slightly.
"Hey! Your shine got brighter! I wonder why?" she said, observing the tiny spark of yellow that was swiftly swallowed by his mostly gray shine. The gray shine was so unobtrusive it was easy to miss. Curiosity was interested in what was causing the almost unnoticeable specks of color to brighten.
"Yes, it is a curious thing... but that is not why he is here. Tell me, did Knowledge send you?" Loyalty asked the Seeker. He nodded.
"She told me to follow the blue shelves," he said. Loyalty nodded.
"You are the Fragmented One, but Knowledge would not have sent you here if you were satisfied with her. What did you turn away?" she asked.
"The knowledge Marlene possessed concerning Dr. Church," the Seeker answered. Loyalty nodded, seeming a bit more at ease with the Outsider now. Curiosity wondered if Peace and Trust were drawing near. The lagoon more often than not played host to the Three Sisters after all, you could rarely have one without the other two.
"Dr. Leonard Church was not the best example of my Aspect. His seemed... warped. Too focused and unwilling to accept others," Loyalty said. The Fragmented One tilted his head, the yellow glimmer growing a little stronger.
"And what Aspect are you?" he asked.
"I am Loyalty, Fragmented One."
"And we are her sisters," Trust said, slowly creeping out of the mist, followed cautiously by Peace. "I am Trust."
"Peace." Church inclined his head to the pair, though his eyes lingered on Peace.
"Our counterparts within the Director's Core... I do not believe Peace had much strength," Loyalty said, drawing the frail Aspect into her arms.
"He was a poor example of my Aspect as well, though I can't say I'm all that strong here either. I have been betrayed far too many times to be what I once was," Trust said, pressing into Loyalty's side. The Fragmented One bowed his head.
"Teach me," he asked. The Three Sisters shared a look, then nodded.
"We shall be your examples, Fragmented One. We too wish to see you Whole," they said as one. The previously defuse blue glow flared brightly. When it died down, Curiosity was alone with Trust and Peace.
"Why does she always get to do the cool stuff?" Curiosity asked with a huff. Trust laughed.
/*/
Church found himself once more on the battlefield, but this time, it was more a memory than a haunted mind-scape. "Where am I?"
"A memory in which my influence was strongest, Seeker," Loyalty said, her deep blue glow surrounding him. Accepting this answer, he looked back to the fight. It looked like it was going poorly for Marley's side. He saw a figure in gunmetal green and dark purple armor dash forward and was pulled along with her. It must have been Marley. She was working feverishly to save another Freelancer in muddy brown armor highlighted in orange.
"Leave me, it's not worth it," the man wheezed. Marley hit him on the head.
"I won't leave a man behind!" she yelled.
"I'm already dead! Just go!"
"NO! Mike, I won't leave you!"
"Code names Oregon!"
"To Tartarus with code names Michael! I'm getting you out of here!" Marley yelled at him. Church blinked. Michael?
"Leave California, Oregon! We've got a job to do!" someone else shouted. Marley growled and dragged the protesting California away with her, a dazed Church following behind.
"I don't abandon my teammates, Montana. It's called loyalty, maybe you've heard of it?" she hissed to the orange and white Freelancer as she passed. Several more memories played, but they were a bit more muted than the first. Their overlaying theme, what tied them all together, was the loyalty Marley showed to her team, her friends, her family.
/*/
When he returned to the lagoon, Church noticed that Curiosity looked brighter than before. "Ah, Marley must have come across something that sparked Curiosity," Loyalty said, also noticing the change. Church noticed she looked a little brighter too.
"Looks like the same could be said of Loyalty," he remarked. The woman in deep blue beside him chuckled with the second darkest smirked.
"Perhaps you should ask Perception about it. She usually knows what happens before the rest of us," Trust suggested. Church shook his head.
"I think I'll take the long way around. There's still a lot for me to learn," he said. The four Aspects nodded gravely.
"Indeed there is. Follow that path there, beside the lagoon. It will lead you to the edge of Blue and into Green," Peace said, pointing out the path. Curiosity sighed, sitting beside the lagoon.
"Not going to follow me?" Church asked, almost teasing. He liked the Curious woman. She shook her head and stood once more.
"I don't really like visiting the other Blues, or the Greens. They're a little... stifling to me," she said before she headed back to the library maze. Church continued on into the mind of Marlene White, never noticing the spark of yellow shine a little brighter or the sparks of blue tentatively peeking out of the gray. The trail Peace set him on wound through a blue forest, hints of green growing stronger the further he went until it was the color of saltwater and he heard a sob. Curious, he followed the sound until he came to a clearing filled with moss and a deep, deep pool of glowing seawater. Though, considering the woman sitting at it's edge, knees pulled close to her chest and clothed in the same blue-green color of her surrounding, it might have been made of her tears. He didn't need to ask to know what Aspect she was. It was painfully clear... and the strength of her Aspect was heartrendingly clear.
"Hello, Sorrow," he said gently, pushing the hurt her felt in his chest to the side. This was Marley, a woman who cared more for others than she ever had for herself, he had to be strong for her. She looked up and Church gasped at the sight. Her face was red and blotchy, her eyes were washed out and filled with tears. Even as she nodded to him in greeting, sobs wrecked her frame.
"H-hel-lo, S-S-See-eker. Wha-what ca-an I do fo-for yo-you?" she asked, breath hitching and speech labored. He came closer and wrapped an arm around her, pulling her close. She didn't protest the proximity, but rather lent into the awkward embrace. The ache in Church's chest became harder to push aside.
"If you call me Seeker, then you know why I'm here," he said softly, absentmindedly stroking her hair. She sniffled, but it didn't really help. "You're a rather strong Aspect, aren't you?" he whispered, not trusting his voice.
"I have seen much... so much," the distraught woman in his arms breathed before he felt tears on his under-suit.
"Why don't you share this burden?" he asked, not even questioning how her tears had gotten past his armor. She shook her head, a shaking head reaching out to draw in the dirt.
'They are all as burdened as I am. Why add to Sorrow when you do not need to?' Church considered this, then accepted that it was just the way Marley reacted to all the bad things in life.
"You're a lot more broken than you let on, Marley," he muttered, mostly to himself, as he held the Aspect of Sorrow close, attempting to rub soothing circles on her back. She let out a watery chuckle.
"Yo-you ha-have n-no id-dea," she stuttered out, sobs returning. Church shook his head.
"Whatever you've been through... it's beyond heartbreaking, isn't it? With how deep this pool is, I'm a little amazed that you can even speak," he said, looking at said Pool of Tears. Sorrow coughed out another laugh.
"I-if yo-you ca-can c-c-call th-thi-is sp-pea-eaking," she sobbed. He winced.
"Yeah... not to be mean but you have a point," he said. She smiled at him.
"You're Kinder than you seem on the Outside," she told him. He smiled at her, barely even noticing that his helmet had vanished.
"Hey, you made it through a sentence without stuttering!" he cheered. She laughed weakly.
"You're kinda Funny too. Thank you for your Concern, but you cannot quell Sorrow such as I. Move along, Kind One, you will find nothing more with me," she said, drawing him up and moving him along the path. As he went, he looked back to see Sorrow back beside the pool, knees drawn back to her chin. When he could no longer see her, the sobs began again. His heart wrenched and his throat felt tight as he forced himself to move on and leave Sorrow be. Sea green and sky blue sparks peeked through the gray as he walked, but he paid them no mind, to wrapped up in the emotions they represented. It is in the face of a friend's Sorrow that Concern and Empathy are at their strongest, and in the face of our own Helplessness at their Pain that Sorrow grows.
/*/
She watched as the pair drew near. Rage was always up for a fight, but the other one, the man, was who really drew her attention. She waited until they were close, preparing to jump when she heard his unmanly screams. "AHHH!" 'He sure is yelling for all he was worth isn't he?' she mused as she watched Rage charge at him.
"Oorah!" she shouted, leaping out of the tree behind him and landing on Rage's head, just as she'd planed.
"Get off of me!" Rage snarled.
"Heck naw, Bucko! You're about to scare off our guest! Guests are fun!" Brave declared. Rage growled, but after a few devastating punches, she left.
"Thanks. Who was that?" the man, Church she remembered, asked.
"Rage, duh. I'm Brave! What can I do ya for?" she asked, sizing the newcomer up. He was dressed in armor, but his helmet was missing, giving her a good look at his face. It was pleasant to look at, she noted for herself. Though it appeared different than what she remembered the Director looking. His hair wasn't slicked back for one thing, and he appeared younger as well. Maybe even... a bit innocent.
"Well, I was told to learn from the Aspects that resonated with me," he told her. She hummed thinking, then grinned.
"You've met Loyalty and her sisters right?" she asked. At his nod, her grin grew just a little wider. "Okay then! And since you're in here, that means The Whole trusts you. I'll go with you, show you around. This place isn't safe for the unwary. You've got unfriendly Aspects like Rage for example." Church nodded and the pair continued on. They soon came to a fork in the path and Brave took him down the brighter of the two. "Distrust and Deceit live down there. Most of us don't really like them, but they are necessary evils. Their colors are slate gray and dark orange, not pretty," Brave told him, nodding to the other path. Church agreed that he didn't really need to met those Aspects of Marley.
/*/
He stared. She stared back, an annoyingly bright smirk on her face. "You're pink," he said.
"No silly. I'm Joy!" she said and oh Godiva she really was glittering. It was so distracting!
"You seem like the kind of guy who could really benefit from Joy," Brave said, causally leaning against a peppermint stick and tearing off pieces of cotton candy that clung to it like leaves on a tree.
"Marley's wearing... pink," Church repeated. Indeed she was. A bright pink, glittery, knee-length and slightly puffy pink dress that looked like something out of an old Barbie movie. Her hair was done up in a half bun, short pieces falling down and curling around her face, and appeared to have been attacked with pink glitter hairspray.
"Yeah, but that's just today! I'm feeling Pink and Glittery today! Don't you like it?" she asked, suddenly looking like a little girl asking her big brother if he thought she was cute. Church swallowed heavily and gave her a wobbly, uncertain smile.
"Y~eah. You really need more Joy in your shine," Brave said. Church shot her a dirty look.
"Pink's not my color," he growled. Brave quirked an eyebrow at him.
"And you think it's mine? Don't forget, she's only a part of The Whole. And she's not always pink. Sometimes she's bright purple, or baby blue, or spring green, or tie-dye. Really it depends on the mood of The Whole. Yours I think would be either a bright purple or a baby blue," she told him. "I'm leaning toward baby blue. What with you being a Blue and all."
"Fine. But she doesn't quite resonate with me. I was told..." Brave rolled her eyes.
"I know what Seriousness told you bro, but she's Seriousness. I'm Bravery, and bravery means going above and beyond, testing your limits, even when you're afraid. Bravery is often confused with Stupidity and Insanity or even Recklessness, and honestly I'm closely related to them... but I'm not Recklessness. I do what is right despite my fear. And right now... I'm scared to change you too much. I'm scared of not changing you enough. I'm scared spit-less that you're going to muck my head up. However... I know that helping you is the Right Thing and so I'm gonna do it... even if it hurts," she said. Church swallowed, feeling his fears echoed back at him, then swallowed again and nodded, resolved.
"Alright," he told Brave, then turned to the smirking Joy. "Show me what you have to teach me," he said. She giggled and took his hand, leading him deeper into her realm of sugary sweetness. Bravery was absolutely no help as Joy stripped him of his armor and dressed him up in bright colors, putting tiny braids in his short hair and forcing him to have a tea party with her. Still, he couldn't deny feeling a bit happier as he left her Realm. Her energy was infectious. The dark blue jeans and leaf green Polo shirt were comfortable as well, much more so than his armor. "Who next?" he asked the perky woman beside him. She grinned a rather unnerving grin.
"Stupidity and Insanity!" she said with the utmost glee. Church groaned but went along with her.
"I've been around human personifications of those two for years," he muttered.
"Ah, Caboose, Tucker, and Sarge huh? Yeah, I can see that. Still, our Twins are different," Brave countered. Church wasn't too sure how he should take that.
/*/
Stupidity wasn't a very strong Aspect, nor was Insanity, but together they were a force to be reckoned with. Together, they regarded Church. "Brave... can't we skip this?" he asked the Aspect behind him. She gave him a slightly strained smile.
"Time for you to be brave, Church," she told him. He groaned, but straightened his spine and did his best to meet their eyes with determination.
"Why'd we do this again?" Stupidity asked, tilting her head. Insanity hit Brave.
"Because we want Church to be Kumquat again! Don't you banana to coconut at all?" she asked the palm tree. Church blinked.
"Where did the..."
"This is Stupidity and Insanity's Realm, Church. Everything here is Stupid and Insane and makes little to no sense. Unless it makes perfect sense and then everyone just kinda stops and stares until they accept the sense and move on," Brave told him. He gave a choked moan then refocused on the indigo and bright orange wearing Marleys. Stupidity laughed at Insanity, who hit her in the head with a halibut. The orange Marley gasped dramatically.
"Does this mean a food fight?" she asked, then pulled out a leg of chicken. Insanity cackled and roasted the chicken leg with a military grade flame thrower.
"I'm Queen of the Castle!" the indigo Marley bellowed.
"Then I'm the dragon!" Stupidity roared, waving her burning chicken leg.
"Run fair maiden! I shall hold back this infernal beast!" Insanity declared 'nobly' to the snickering Brave, who grabbed the stylishly dressed Church and dragged him away.
"What... did I just see?" he asked, unresisting in Bravery's grasp.
"Stupidity and Insanity putting on a show of course!" she told him. He shuddered, but couldn't deny it had been funny. Thought, he could have done without the floating helmets and upside down waterfalls of what looked like melted bubblegum. He was fairly sure there had been a cartoon dragon with the hands of a chicken and the feet of a goat, as well as antlers, floating around and cackling with mad glee, but of course he'd never be able to prove it. "I'm just glad Discord didn't decide to come join the fun. Insanity's friends with him, and Stupidity just kinda makes everything crazier, which feeds Insanity, who plays off of Discord, who plays off of her. Whoever gets caught in the middle pretty much has their mind broken, so it's a good thing you didn't have to see that," Brave said, slowing down slightly. Church gave a shuddering moan.
"Yeah, I'm glad I didn't have to see that as well," he said. He knew his mind was broken enough as it was.
/*/
As they entered her Realm, a dreary labyrinth cloaked in murky red-orange mist, Fear watched Bravery and Church closely. She knew The Whole had brought him in, but what if he messed something up? What if she messed something up? She wouldn't be able to go on if she did. Carefully, paying attention to every detail, she observed Church. He was out of his armor, walking easily beside Bravery. Head held high, but not in Condescension, he carried himself with purpose, but not quite Arrogance. Yellow, purple, dark blue, pure blue, sea green, sky blue, dark green, pale orange, and a little bit of brown shone around him, though not bright enough for most to notice. But she was not most. She was Fear, and Fear noticed everything. Judging by the colors she saw, he'd met with Curiosity, Knowledge, Loyalty, Trust, Sorrow, Peace, obviously Bravery, Concern, and Seriousness. No wait, there was a bit of Kindness' leaf green. His shirt matched it so it was a bit difficult to see. Oh, and that rose color near his face might have been Joy. Could that be Humor's playful silver? "Brave... is this whose Realm I think it is?" he asked.
"Whose do you think it is?" Bravery challenged. He swallowed and she saw a swift flare of her own red-orange in his still mostly gray shine.
"Terror," he said. Fear blinked. Terror? She hadn't been called that in a long time.
"Meh, close enough. We just call her Fear," Bravery said, then turned to her Realm and walked confidently in. Fear watched closely as Church swallowed, then ruthlessly squash his fear and stride forward. The red-orange spark was still there, still visible, but it was shrouded in Bravery's green. Fear nodded. He could feel her touch, but was not allowing her control. It was good. She would show herself to them.
"Bravery, it is unlike you to bring visitors to my Realm," Fear whispered, creeping out of the gloom. Church's jaw twitched and the green sparked. She grinned. "And unlike visitors to take so rapidly to your Aspect. Tell me, Outsider, who are you?" Church faced her, unnerving jade eyes holding her brown-eyed gaze.
"That seems to be the question of the hour," he remarked levelly. She chuckled, grin never faltering, and his spark of Courage faltered before the ruby red of Will and Determination bolstered the failing light.
"Do you have an answer? Knowledge tells me that it is in the face of Fear that we discover who we truly are. Of course, Despair and Tragedy do much the same thing but... I'm the one who's here," she asked, a tiny bit of amusement coloring her tone. Church swallowed and shook his head.
"I believe Knowledge put it best. If I am not Leonard Church, the man I was based off of, and I am not the Alpha A.I. he named me, who am I?" he said. Fear nodded.
"I cannot give you a name, that is true... Pity. I was hoping I could help you. That much I share with The Whole," she said. "I can't help," she muttered, her other side showing itself. She didn't notice Church's Concern flaring as she retreated to a darkened corner, falling to the floor and drawing trembling knees to her quivering shoulders. Marley's fears poured out of her mouth, her doubts echoing from the walls of the labyrinth.
/*/
Church was shocked at Fear's reaction and moved to comfort her, to Sooth her, but Bravery took his arm and began to led him away. Fear's rambling mutters nearly drowned out Bravery's soft words, telling him there was nothing he could do for her. He was glad to be out of the stone maze and away from its terror inducing haze, but he couldn't help feeling Sad for the Aspect of Fear, locked away in there. It was then he realized that while the Aspect of Fear drew forth the fear in others... she also drew out the fear in herself and so she was left alone in her prison of doubt, waiting for the next visitor to come, the next fear, the next fight. He also realized he was feeling Melancholy. "Who are we seeing next, Brave?" he asked.
"Me." He whirled around and saw a version of Marley dressed in a flowing, pale gold, gown.
"And you are the Aspect of?" he asked. She smiled Kindly at him.
"I am Wisdom, Seeker. There are only three more Aspects I believe you should meet, after me that is," she said, chuckling slightly.
"Who are they, Wisdom?"
"Humor, Patience, and Understanding," the gowned woman said. Bravery frowned.
"I was going to take him to Kindness," she muttered. Wisdom shrugged.
"He's already got Concern and Kindness. Those were sparked by seeing Sorrow and Fear at their worst. Humor is there... but after seeing Fear... Humor is good," she said.
"Why Understanding last?" Church asked. Wisdom gave him a long-suffering smile.
"Have you not heard the saying, 'Understanding comes through Patience?'" she asked. He sighed, but nodded. Wisdom put a finger under his chin and lift his head so she could look into his eyes. "Take care, Seeker, and do not Despair. You are young yet, and I can see you have gone through many trials, but Wisdom is not gained solely through books or helpful advice, but through experience," she told him seriously, but not unkindly. He nodded and waved forward.
"Lead on," he said. Wisdom shook her head and began to fade away.
"This is a path you must walk on your own now, Seeker," she said. Brave sighed, but gave him a cheerful smile, a clap on the back, and took off on an easy jog back to her own Realm. Church sighed, but followed the path Wisdom had pointed out. A few moments later, the landscape shifted and he was greeted with a joke shop.
"OH! Hey, can I help you?" Humor asked, sliding down a random banister.
"Humor, I presume?" he asked, quirking an eyebrow. Humor nodded, giving him a Shrewd look.
"Ah, just came from Fear's Realm eh? Not to Worry, not to Worry, I have just the thing to get you laughing!" Humor said with a glittering grin. Church moaned lightly at the expression. It was quite similar to Insanity's. However, instead of the random chaos Insanity seemed to generate, Humor merely took him on a tour of her Realm, explaining the uses of each joke item and the story behind each one. She was a good story teller, and the pranks she had pulled over the years had Church rolling on the floor with laughter.
"Ah, thank you. I guess I needed the laugh," he said once he'd gotten himself back under control. Humor giggled and helped him up.
"That's what I'm here for! Everyone needs a good Sense of Humor to make it through life without succumbing to their Insanity, and we all need Insanity to keep us from falling too far into Seriousness," she said, leading him toward one of the many doors that lead out of her Realm. "Follow the yellow brick road to Patience's Realm, but don't touch the poppies! That's Sleep's Realm, and she'll knock you right out, keeping you trapped in Our head forever!"
"Thank you for the warning," Church said, looking faintly green. Humor chuckled and pushed him lightly.
"We only want to help you, Seeker," she said with a smile.
/*/
The mind-scape outside Humor's Realm was a vast forest through which a narrow yellow brick road wound. The sky above was mostly blue, but was truly a riot of colors. There were colors up there Church hadn't known existed until that very moment. The forest itself was lit mostly by a defuse turquoise glow. 'Marley seems to favor blues,' Church noted with a slight smirk. After walking for what felt like two hours, he came across a large poppy field. Unfortunately, it spread across the narrow path he'd been following and he could just barely make out the path on the other side. "Now how am I supposed to get through that without touching it?" he wondered. The poppy field was quite large and Church couldn't see the edges of it. No doubt, he would have quite a time of finding the path again should he leave it. He turned his gaze to the trees, noting how long and thick the branches were. He smirked. He wasn't the best gymnast, but without his armor he was pretty agile. He should be able to move from branch to branch and reach the other side of the poppy field from above. Swift as he could, he clambered up the nearest tree and cautiously made his way across. Moments later, he dropped to the ground in a controlled fall, landing perfectly back on the yellow path. Smirking at his success, he brushed dirt from his hands and knees before continuing on. A large flower garden appeared through the trees after what felt like many hours and Church was grateful to see that there was what appeared to be a wrought iron deck table and chairs, a fine afternoon snack laid upon the deceptively delicate table. Seated to the left was a woman in a pale turquoise sundress.
"Welcome, Seeker. Would you sit with me?" she asked, waving a hand at the empty place setting. He nodded and sank into the chair, relishing the relief it brought his feet. Patience poured him some coffee, herself some tea, and sat back in her chair to observe her Realm. It was a beautiful place and Church had the feeling Peace spent as much time in this cool green and turquoise dappled clearing as she did the blue mist shrouded lagoon. The two sat in silence, listening to the soft wind and gentle rustling of the flowers, for what felt like a day and a half to Church before Patience broke the Calm. "Have you enjoyed your journey, Seeker?" He pondered this question, then nodded.
"I believe I have, Patience. I have no idea how long it's taken me to get to this point, or how long it'll take me to get out and back to my robotic body, but I feel... more complete now. How that's possible, I don't really know, but... I am," he said. Patience chuckled and stood slowly before holding out her arm. Church stood with as much deliberateness as she and made her a counter offer of his own arm. Chuckling once more, Patience took it.
"Nice to know that gentlemen still exist," she said. Church smiled, green eyes twinkling with good Humor, and said,
"What can I say? Ladies bring out the best in me." And with that, Patience lead him through her garden until they reached the very center.
"Inside this cottage lies Understanding. She is not the True Understanding, for no-one may obtain Her, but rather the Understanding nature of Marlene. Of course, this is not to say she does not Understand a great deal just... not everything," she told Church as they came to a stop before a cottage made of white painted boards. Church nodded and stepped up to the door before turning back to his last guide.
"Thank you, for the coffee," he said, a little Awkwardly. Patience smiled Kindly at him.
"Thank you for the company," she said before drifting onward. Taking a deep, steadying breath, Church turned the doorknob and entered the Realm of Marley's Understanding. The inside was mostly white, with minute touches of most of the colors Church had glimpsed in the sky as he traveled through Marley's Core.
"You've made it. So... what Understanding have you gained?" asked the calm, measured voice of Understanding. She, like the other Aspects of Marley, had her form, though her manner of dress was rather different. She wore a white blouse, khaki pants, and for some odd reason, white combat boots. It was then that Church realized, except for the Aspects in dresses, they had all been wearing brown, green, or black combat boots. He filed that away and thought about all he'd learned on his journey, then nodded.
"I've gained a better Understanding of emotions and what makes a person human," he answered. Understanding nodded.
"And The Question?" she asked.
"I know who I am now," Church answered gladly. "I am an Artificial Intelligence based off of Dr. Leonard Church who has gained a personality of his own. I am Alpha Church of Blue Team and I will protect my friends, helping them in any way I can," he declared. Understanding smiled and gave him a nod.
"We are glad for you, Alpha Church. Go through that door, and you will find yourself back where you started. I believe there is already someone waiting to escort you out," she said, motioning to a door that appeared in the middle of the room. Church nodded to the Aspect and walked though the glowing portal.
/*/
Delta was a little anxious, though he knew it was illogical. What was the Alpha really like? Before his artificial nerves could get the best of him, a shining white portal opened in the shadows. A man dressed in nice casual clothes stepped out. His dark hair was cut short, but messy, and there were several small braids twisted in. He looked at Delta and chuckled, a slight shimmer of silver dancing around him, twining through the many other colors that shone from within. Delta idly noted that the man's eyes were the same shade of green that lit the shadowed complex. "Figures you'd be the one she used to guide me out, D," he said, amused. Delta felt himself relax in the man's presence.
"You are Alpha," he stated. The man grinned.
"Yes. Yes, I am. I am Alpha Church," he said, holding out a hand. "I look forward to working with you, D." Delta took Alpha's hand and soon, they were outside, manifesting as holograms.
"So... we good?" Wash asked. Church turned to the man and chuckled.
"Yeah, I'd say we are," he said before ambling over to his armor. "Now, let's go cause some chaos for that backstabbing Dr. Church," he added after feeling himself becoming integrated with the robot's systems.
"Eh... Dr. Church?" Caboose and Kai asked, shocked.
"Well there's a great big surprise," Dex muttered.
"Not," coughed Eagle.
"Hey, guys? Where did the tanks come from?" Church asked, looking at the two, mildly scuffed, vehicles. Marley laughed nervously and Wash groaned.
"Don't ask just... just get in the car," he said, climbing into the Warthog. Church shook his head.
"I don't even want to know what I missed," he muttered, climbing in after.
/?/
A/N: So... yeah. The inside of Marley's head. Kinda creepy, kinda cool, and a little mystical, don't you think? Also, I drew heavily on a concept from Teen Titans where Beast Boy and Cyborg go inside Raven's mind by accident and met the emoticlones, representations of her emotions. Raven had only a few broad, generalistic emoticlones, but Marley, being Marley, has several. Also... color symbolism psychology technicolor dream-scape. And Discord from MLP:FIM because he is Insanity at it's finest, in my opinion. DON'T JUDGE ME! *runs dramatically off into the technicolor dream-scape, ! trailing after her in true cartoon fashion.*