Disclaimer: I don't own RvB. Or other references.
Episode 42: Plans and Phantoms
Marley was bored. B-O-R-E-D bored. And as anyone who knew her could attest, that meant Bad Things. Sure she was locked in a max security prison, but she wasn't about to let that deter her. Besides, she hadn't even gone to court yet. She frowned. Trial. She hadn't gotten a trial. Or, at least, one with a real judge. Her guard sighed and she realized she'd started to growl. "Hey, hey buddy! Yeah, you know how long I've been here? It can't be all that long, and yet the days are starting to run together," she said.
"You've been here three weeks," the man ground out. Marley sighed and threw herself against the wall, sliding down until she was sitting with her knees drawn in close.
"They didn't take my armor. Why didn't they take my armor? I wasn't given a trial, not a real one. Why? Do they not want to know what I know? Wash. Did Wash get a trial? I sure hope so. Hey, mister! You know if a grouchy guy in gray and yellow power armor is around here? He was arrested at the same time as me. Did he get a trail? Do you know? Huh? Huh? Do ya know do ya know do ya kn~uh~oh~?" The guard growled and slammed his gun into the steel door, causing a reverberating bang.
"Shut up! I'm just a guard, the Brass doesn't tell me anything," he snarled. Marley was silent for a moment, then slowly began to chuckle, then laugh. It was a hollow sound, empty of the usual emotions, and it echoed dully in the cell block.
"Oh, poor poor man, tasked to guard those he does not know, those whose crimes he has not been made aware of. Oh, the foolishness of humanity! Tell me, how to you protect against something... when you don't know what you're up against?" she asked, startling the guard when she breathed the last of her question straight into his ear. He jerked back and aimed his gun at her, eyes wide. She cackled, eyes wide, at the startled man, visor clear to show the mad expression. "Answer? You can't~! You can't~! The best you can do... is die fighting so the guy behind you has a clue! Because you will die, underestimating the problem. Isn't that what wiped out the Forerunners? The first cycle of life in the known, and part of the unknown as well, universe? Remember, Guard, Pride cometh before the Fall," the woman told him before slinking back into the shadowed depths of her cell, though her hollow laughter still echoed eerily in the corridor.
"OI OREGON! SHUT UP WOULD YOU, YA PHANTOM!?" another prisoner bellowed from further down the hall, black and gray gloves showing through the bars as the man gripped them in one hand and shook a fist with the other. In a blink, Marley was back at her own bars.
"WASHINGTON! HEY! DID YOU GET A TRIAL?!" she yelled. The prisoner, Washington, was silent a moment, but when he answered, it rang through the hall like Marley's laughter had before.
"Why hold a trial when the proof of guilt is plain to see?" She sighed, shaking her head.
"Again, Oh, the foolishness of man!" she lamented, sitting back down. Still, the whole thing hadn't been a total bust. She had managed to discover that Wash was, in fact, on the same hall, and had creeped out her guard. Maybe she'd creeped out others? Hum... cafeteria gossip did serve a purpose, she'd try to find out at breakfast.
/*/
It had been almost a month and Church was getting antsy. "Hey, guys? While all this training is nice and all, what about Tucker? He's stuck at the Sandtrap base and as I said back at Command, things are expounding over there, and I don't really like it when my friends are having fun with explosions without me," he said. Jack sighed, but nodded and called the Reds.
"Alright. We've trained, we've unwound, Rick has found his calling as a storyteller... it's time we got down to business. There are two items on our agenda; Jailbirds and Sandman. Now the way I see it, there are three options. One, we split the teams and one group goes after the Jailbirds while the other goes after Sandman. Two, we go after Sandman first, then the Jailbirds. Three, we go after the Jailbirds, then get Sandman," Jack laid out. "Sound about right to you lot?" Dex hummed.
"If we split up, how many would it take to deal with the Jailbirds?" he asked. Jack shrugged.
"I doubt it would have to be a lot. We're going to be doing this the legal way... that or we try, fail, and bust 'em out," he said. Dex nodded and turned to Flowdie.
"The Phantoms look after their own, right?" he asked.
"Of course," Flowdie answered firmly.
"Right. If we go with option one, the Phantoms go after the Jailbirds and the rest of us will help out Sandman."
"Uh, question?" Rick said, holding up his hand. Dex quirked an unseen eyebrow but nodded toward his teammate.
"Yes, Rick?"
"Why are we calling Tucker Sandman?" Dex shared a look with Jack and Flowdie before turning back to Rick.
"Uh... code... names?" he said, sounding rather unsure. Rick held his... gaze?... for a moment before he nodded.
"Okay. So, since you're already making plans around option one, let's get down to planning Operation: Sandman and Operation: Jailhouse Phantom," the tech said, using a randomly appearing pad to pull up a rough map of Sandtrap. "I hadn't got any data on where the Jailbirds are, but Sandtrap was a potential spot for a Sim. Base, meaning it was scouted by Freelancer. Since it was scouted by our dear Director's dogs, we have access to a map. It's not the most reliable, seeing as the whole thing is a desert, but it's better than nothing." Dex clapped a hand on Rick's shoulder and gave a squeeze, even if the slender man wouldn't feel it through his armor.
"Good work Rick," the weapons expert said. "Now, it looks like the approach is mined, so we'll either have to be very careful, or very fast. With a fast approach, they'll know we're coming..."
"With a slow, careful approach, they'll know we're coming," Rick cut in. Dex turned to him, clearly questioning him. "Motion trackers. The whole area is rigged." The orange helmet tilted a little, their version of a quirked eyebrow. "What? You didn't think a military operation in an easily identifiable location would be unguarded did you?"
"Especially when whatever they're doing involves a super weapon," Church added. Everyone turned to him. He looked around at them a little confused. "What? I didn't mention that?" he asked.
"No. No you didn't. That makes Operation: Sandman of slightly higher importance than Operation: Jailhouse Phantom. Looks like we're going with a mix of option one and option two. Flowdie, you have the lead on the second operation. Bring our Agents home," Dex said, turning to the gray and cyan soldier as he mentioned him. Flowdie nodded.
"Ed, Jack, you're with me," he said, waving them off.
"Oh wait! You guys have a ride?" Dex asked.
"I know a gal!" Flowdie called back. Dex chuckled and shook his head.
"Hey! Think she could drop us off first?!"
"Rather not~!" Dex snapped his fingers and Flowdie laughed as he and the other Phantoms entered the Blue Base.
"You do realize your sending three dead guys to bust out a dead woman and a rouge Freelancer, right?" Eagle asked.
"Of course. Why do you think they're called Phantoms?" Dex answered. "Now, back to Sandman and this super weapon. Church, think you could give us the highlights of your conversation with your man?"
"Don't say it like that," Church grumbled. Dex shifted toward him slightly in a glare. "But since you're willing to help my friend, I'll play the recording for you," he said and soon Tucker's voice was playing in their ears.
"Well, I was sent to this place called Sandtrap to be an ambassador, because of Junior, and then this crazy Freelancer guy moved in with these even crazier aliens. Junior wasn't on base when the take over happened, thank goodness, but now I'm locked down. The weapon these guys want is in the temple with me. I'm alone, pinned down, and stuck in a creepy aline temple with a weapon of mass destruction. I need help now man." Dex hummed.
"Yep. Okay... we go in fast, me Red and Caboose in front. Kai, Church, you hang back with Rick and Eagle, you take the rear. Once we're inside the base perimeter, we have three objectives. One, find Tucker. Two, secure the weapon. And finally three, take out the enemy combatants. Once all three have been completed, we get out of there, hopefully back here but let's not hold our breath. I'll call Flowdie when we've completed our main objectives and set up camp a safe distance from Sandtrap base. You follow so far?" he said.
"Yes sir!" the Reds barked. Church nodded, Kai huffed, and Caboose...
"I still don't know why you didn't tell me sand traps." Church sighed.
"We're good. Carry on," he said, waving the Sargent on. Dex nodded.
"So, with our strategy worked out, all that's left is to get there. We have Warthogs, a single Mongoose and... that's about it. So, are we going to drive, or go steal some Hornets or a Pelican?" he said.
"That is the question, isn't it?" Red agreed with a nod.
/*/
"So who's your side girl, Florida?" Ed asked with a smirk.
"Someone you're rather familiar with yourself, New York," Flowdie responded before the radio finally locked onto the signal he was looking for.
"Code in," a bored sounding woman said.
"Come out come out and play, Little Sparrow," Flowdie sang.
"Ah. Flowdie," the woman, 479er, deadpanned. Ed and Jack shared a look.
"Wait... 479er? Really? You... you're calling in 479er?! The crazy pilot who dropped a plane into an Insurgent base? And managed to fire the thrusters just in time not to smash us all to bits?!" Ed yelped, staring at his friend. Flowdie chuckled.
"Was... was that York?" 479er asked.
"Yeah, we're regular Phantoms, and we need a little help getting a not-so-regular Phantom along with our newest member out of the slammer. Think you could give us a lift?" Jack said.
"North?!"
"We're going after Oregon and Washington. We need a ship and a pilot to fly it," Flowdie piped up.
"I'm your woman. Coordinates?" 479er asked.
"Transmitting," Flowdie said, quite pleased with himself.
"Got it. I'll be there in a jiffy," 479er said before the connection was cut. Ed shook his head.
"I still say this is a bad idea," he said. Flowdie chuckled and headed further into the base, headed for storage.
"Too bad you're not the one in charge then, isn't it?" he asked, already ruffling through the boxes of ammo and weapons.
"I thought we were going to try this the legal way. Why are you..." began Jack when Flowdie turned to give him a rather dry look.
"You really think we can get them out legally? This is Agent Black we're talking about. They've been hunting her down for years and now that they have her, they know that she's their missing doctor turned Freelancer turned Merc which translates to killer which then further translates to murderer for them. And don't get me started on Wash. No. They aren't getting out of there easily," he told them. Ed and Jack shared a look, then shrugged and took their pick of the weapons. When they exited, the Reds and Blues were gone, along with both their Warthogs and Eagle's Mongoose.
"I guess they decided to drive," Jack said.
"Man, that's gonna be a long road trip," Ed remarked.
"Think we should have asked 479er to drop them off after all?" Flowdie asked. They shared a look, then said,
"Naw!" as one and sat down to plot while waiting for 479er.
/*/
Dex loved driving. In fact, he loved to race. This little fact, that Dex was something of a speed demon, had come out when Marley was teaching him how to drive a Mongoose. He'd nearly given her a heart attack when he'd slung the four-wheeler around a corner on two wheels going fifty miles per hour, sling-shoting himself back down the track. Marley had soundly berated him for his recklessness and put him in a tank. How she got a tank, Dex still didn't know(though he had a feeling after what they'd gone through to get the tanks for the Command mission. Those events still gave him nightmares.) but she had one, and she put him behind the wheel. It was torture for the man as the tank proved to be slow and unwieldy. Right now, Dex's speed obsession was worrying Church, amusing Kai, and causing his team to hold on not only to the vehicle, but also their lunches. "You're insane," Church muttered.
"Didn't we go over this on the way out of Command?" Kai asked.
"Maybe, but we're not trying to outrun an EMP blast that's gonna kill our cars," Church told her. Dex laughed.
"You do know that Kai's just as crazy as me when it comes to driving, right?" he asked. If he could, Church would have gone pale. He turned to Kai, who was driving the Warthog he was in.
"Be gentle with me, please," he said weakly.
"I feel I have to ask... Alpha Church, what are your intentions toward my baby sister?" Dex said seriously.
"Dude. I'm a robot with a minor obsession with the A.I. echo of Allison Church A.K.A. Tex. I'm not gonna make a move on your sister," Church replied, just as serious. Dex nodded.
"I know. Just wanted to make sure you knew."
"That makes no sense!"
"You make no sense, but we listen to you," Dex shot back.
"That's different!" Church insisted.
"If you two don't stop arguing over stupid little things, I'm gonna turn on some music. And I'm gonna blast it full volume. With my comm. on," Eagle threatened. Knowing Eagle's taste in music, Dex shut up. Church was just quite because he didn't want a headache. This silence lasted for an hour before Dex turned on the radio and an argument broke out over his music choice.
"I swear I'm going to kill you all if you don't just shut up and accept my choice," Dex growled, fingers gripping the wheel so hard it was beginning to creak. Eagle sped up slightly.
"Dudes, you're on your own!" he said, pulling ahead.
"Thanks a lot, Frank," Rick grumbled.
"What are little brother's for?" Eagle quipped.
"Touche."
/*/
479er was excited. A mission, a real mission. After what felt like decades she was flying a mission again. Oh it had taken some creative finagling and her famous temper, but she was out and flying again. "Valhalla huh? Fitting, for those old war dogs," she muttered as she came in for a landing.
"We're not old. We're experienced and thirty, thank you," Florida's voice piped up.
"Agent Florida you'd better thank your lucky stars I'm such a disciplined pilot or I would have just squashed you!" she berated the former Freelancer. He just laughed. "How did you hear me?" she asked, not caring for his attitude.
"Ah, when I noticed your ship, I hacked into the comm. system," Agent New York's voice said.
"So nice to be trusted," she remarked dryly.
"I understand your feeling, 479er," Delta said, his green hologram appearing before her just as she touched down.
"Delta too?! I thought Wash recovered you," she told the little hologram.
"He did too. Agent Black is most adept at creating convincing fakes," the A.I. told her.
"Is he?"
"Yes, she is," Flowdie said, trooping aboard. 479er blinked.
"Wait. Oh yeah! I think I read about Agent Black being a kick butt pilot. So... is that who we're busting out? I though we were..." she asked, a little confused.
"Black is Oregon, 9er," Ed said as he strapped in.
"Oh. Well, that makes more sense then," 479er said. "Everyone in?" she asked, half expecting another ghost to pop up.
"Yes," Jack said, closing the door.
"Then we're off!" the pilot said, setting a course for the judicial center. She just hoped they'd be able to get Oregon and Wash out of there legally. She had had enough of working for criminals.
/*/
Wash sighed, watching the guards pace. It was boring in jail. Then again, he thought back to the events that lead to his capture and snickered. At least he had some really fun memories to keep him company. "Wash~! You have any clue what happened to Agent California?" And the former Agent Oregon. Can't forget the former Agent Oregon. She wouldn't let you if you tried.
"No, Oregon, I don't," he said.
"Marley! My name is Marley!" she yelled at him.
"Right. Sorry. No, Marley, I don't," Wash reiterated, leaning back and closing his eyes.
"Wash~! Do you think Caboose could have been California?"
"No, Marley, I don't."
"Why?"
"He's Caboose," Wash deadpanned. If he didn't know she was far enough away that such a soft sound wouldn't reach him, Wash would have said she gave an 'h'mm' in response.
"You have a point," she allowed.
"Of course I do. I'm me," he said, the ghost of a smile tugging at his lips.
"That only works for geniuses, Washy-Boy. And you... are no genius." That put the ghost to rest.
"Neither are you," he shot back. There was silence for a while, though Wash thought the guards might have been biting back laughter. You never knew with those guys.
"Wash~! You think our guys will get us out legally?" Marley sang. Wash snorted.
"What makes you think they'll come for us at all?" he asked.
"Unlike Freelancer, my Projects are built on loyalty," Marley said levelly. "They will come." Wash couldn't hold back a mocking laugh.
"Your 'Projects' are made from rejects and dead men. How is that based on loyalty?" he asked.
"Because of where I found them," Marley said in her soft, ringing voice that carried eerily down the corridor. Considering this, Wash had to admit she had a point. They were the rejects and the lost of Project Freelancer.
"Still. Wait... why did you specify 'legally'?" he asked warily.
"Well... they are rejects and dead men," Marley answered.
"Ah. Yeah, that might make things a little... difficult," Wash allowed, nodding.
"Ya think?"
"Do you always have to have the last word?"
"You bet your cat posters I do."
"I don't have cat posters! Why dose everyone think I have cat posters? I don't even like cats!"
"Hum~! Me thinketh the man doth protest too much."
"You said it wrong."
"Grammar Nazi!"
"Madwoman."
"Admit it, the mad ones have more fun."
"Only because they no longer possess the clarity needed to see the darkness."
"I'm sorry, did you say something?" From there, it just devolved into an insult competition. Though, it did amuse the guards. 'Freelancer duty' was highly sought after by the guards, right after extra break. In their minds, if they had to be on duty, standing between 'Oregon' and 'Washington' was the next best thing to a Grifball game.
/*/
Meanwhile, in the desert. "Wow. We got here a lot faster than I thought we would," Red remarked.
"Yeah, that's because you slept for most of it," Church snarked, already on the sand and looking at the Warthog as if it had done him a great personal wrong.
"Ah don't be that way Church!" Kai said cheerily from the Blue jeep's driver's seat.
"My base code was patterned after an obsessive jerk. I'm doing the best I can here," the A.I. quipped. "Remember, it hasn't been that long since Marley sent me on a head trip."
"What was it like?" Eagle asked, only to be confused by the rather human looking full body shudder he got in return.
"Trust me, you don't want to know," he said, thinking of the Battlefield he'd arrived on.
"I really do, though!" Eagle persisted.
"Know that old Pixar film? The one with the little girl and the voices in her head?"
"Inside Out?"
"Yeah. Now, age her up to about thirty, segment her mind to give her emotions their own environments, personify her character traits, and add the trauma of war," Church said dully. Eagle swallowed heavily.
"You're right. I so did not want to know," he said, leaning heavily against his Mongoose.
"Something tells me he left a lot out," Dex said, regarding the A.I. carefully over his crossed arms, which he rested on the roll bar of his Warthog.
"You'd thank me if you only knew," Church remarked dryly before he turned away and started playing with his radio. "Tucker, Tucker! Come in Private Tucker!" A moment passed before Church barked out a laugh. "Good to hear from you too buddy. Sorry that we weren't here sooner, we got a bit... hung up." Dex scoffed.
"Hung up my old pink bootie," Eagle groused. The other Reds shuddered and Rick gave a reflexive cry of 'Doughnut!' The Blues choose to ignore their decidedly odd comrades.
"Right. Can you send me your exact coordinates?" Church asked. "Thanks. Sending them on to the rest of the team. Yes, I brought our team. And the Reds. No they won't try to kill you, Tucker what are you... ? I realize you haven't been around for a while but... Oh come on! They're better than you think! Yes they've had specialized military training since you've been gone! We all have! Now quite yer whining and let us help you because like it or not, we're all you've got soldier!" The rest of the Blood Gulch Crew was a bit surprised at the amount of force Church had put into those last two sentences, not to mention the authority. Even Red found himself come to attention at the A.I.'s tone.
"Aw geez Church, I didn't know you cared," Dex drawled, Gary having finally decided to patch him through to the Blue's channel.
"Who was that?" Tucker asked.
"The man in charge of Operation: Sandman," Dex replied. Rick snickered.
"Nice try, but I think he might have recognized your voice," he said.
"Who's there? How did you get this frequency?" Tucker demanded.
"Bossy much?" Eagle asked while Rick hung his head and muttered 'or not.'
"Didn't Church just tell you he brought the whole crew?" Kai added.
"Wait... Kai? Kai is that you?"
"Oh sure, recognize my baby sister and not anyone else," Dex groused.
"Uh... hey... Dex. You uh... you here to kill me, or help me?"
"Dude, I told you. I'm the man in charge of Operation: Sandman! Weren't you listening?" the weapons expert snapped.
"Operation sandman? Doesn't that just mean 'naptime'?" The rest of the BGC fell to the ground laughing while Dex ground his teeth and Tucker was genuinely curious. Caboose was Caboose and laughing without really knowing what was so funny.
"No. Operation: Sandman is the name we gave this rescue mission. You're a man, you're in the sand, you're Sandman. Now stop arguing already! We're wasting time. Church, those coordinates?" Dex ground out, turning to Church and crossing his arms. Tucker's location popped up as a waypoint on his HUD. "Thank you. Now, dose everyone see the waypoint?"
"Affirmative," chorused Project Red.
"Yep," Kai said, popping her 'p.'
"All I see is a glowing spot," Caboose declared.
"I set it," Church deadpanned.
"Excellent. Red, with me. Let's move out!" Dex barked, pulling his gun down and making for the waypoint.
"Today is a good day to die!" Red bellowed, following close to Dex.
/*/
They had arrived. Now all they had to do was convince key people to let Marley and Wash go free. "Think we could post bail?" Ed asked, eying the imposing structure in front of him.
"Oh, that it were that easy," Jack said, glaring at the door.
"And even if there was a possibility of bail... I'm not so sure we'd have the money for it," Flowdie said, already walking inside. His teammates shared a look, then slumped with a sigh.
"I hate it when he makes sense," Ed groused.
"Yeah. I hate it when he has a point," Jack agreed. Still, the two Phantoms followed their 'leader' into the judicial building. None of them entertained the illusion that they'd be getting their friends out anytime soon. Not legally anyway.
/?/
A/N: And~! CUT! Whoo, that was a doozy to write. Almost as bad as 'Journey of the Mind'! But also, almost as fun.
Also! The comparison to Inside Out came from RandomManGaming. Thank you for that one, by the way. I read your review and the only thing I could think was... 'Yep. That about sums it up.'
So, I think I'll end by asking some questions this time.
What! Was your favorite part?
Who! Was your favorite character?
Which! Line was your favorite?
Is there anything, in particular, you want to see?
Do you think the BGC is going to rout 'C.T.'s forces?
What's the first thing you think Tucker's going to say when the BGC busts in?
I have no further questions, you may proceed. Oh! But the one with the most interesting answers to questions 4-6 will have their submissions worked into the next Episode along with footnote credit. Runners up will get a shout out in the end A/N. Until next time,
Tchuss!