(AN: I made this story many moons ago, I'm just now putting it up. The following review of reviews is an addition to the original document).
Boss Teal, on the singing: Thanks!
Bloopydoo, on self-esteem: Hugs ARE good, and Nick needs a lot of them.
Ninjalinda, on the massive OC roster: Thanks! The large number of OC's is partly to reflect reality; according to one of the supplemental books of the Railway Series, there were eighty engines on the NWR, most of which we never saw.
Guest, on the deaths: Boomer will be getting his karma, but half the fandom disagrees with your first statement.
Guest, on the future: No, Gordon keeps his express (mostly). Nick's finally falling for Lady; will it continue? Let's find out, shall we?
Guest, on the hilarious title: Which makes the ending that much more of a plot twist!
JwwProd, on Domissida: Another plot twist!
Chaoslord678, on the title song: Thanks! That song is primarily based off The Hymn of Acxiom.
"Hey Salty, you know that inspection we got scheduled for?" Cranky asked.
"That I do, matey! What be it that's ticklin' yer mind?" the Class 07 asked.
"Because I think the inspectors are here, and they appear to be coming by boat."
Salty revved up and his jaw dropped when he saw what Cranky was looking at. "That there be the biggest ship I ever did see."
"Yeah, I know," Porter agreed, awed.
P. T. Boomer's ship docked at the spot where the rails met the edge. Six massive locomotives rolled off: a GG1, an EF-4 "Little Joe", an ex-Rock Island Line EMD E8, an ex-Conrail EMD SW900, a Milwaukee Road Class S3 4-8-4, and a Milwaukee Road Class F6 4-6-4. None of them were Lifers; they were Luggs, lifeless locomotives.
Boomer himself hopped off the front of the F6. "Where is Fatt Hatt?" he growled at Porter.
"Uh, I d-don't know, probably in his office at Knapford?" Porter shivered nervously.
Boomer scowled but nodded at his compatriots. "Lock up the boat! No one but us are getting in that thing. Once that's done, follow me!" He got back on the F6, which roared to life and puffed away.
"Good thing we already fortified yon branchlines after Gordon's little misadventure," Salty said to himself.
The F6 rumbled down the line. It was one of the biggest locomotives many of the NWR had seen, and it wasn't anywhere close to the biggest size an American locomotive could get.
"Whoa!" Gordon gasped as the engine shot past him.
"Oi! Mind your speed!" Tabitha shouted.
"Tabs, that was a Lugg," Nadia replied.
"It was?" Tabitha shivered. "I know most vehicles never come alive, but it's still so unnerving to see one of us who isn't."
"Agreed," Gordon said crossly.
The F6 pulled into Knapford. Boomer hopped off it and knocked on the door of Sir Topham Hatt's office rudely. "Open up!"
"No need to get in a fuss!" Topham opened the door. Lady Hatt was also there. "Oh, Mr. Boomer. Strange, you were supposed to have arrived an hour from now."
"Things...took a little less time to clean up than we'd expected," Boomer replied coolly, still remembering the thrill of slaughtering that live bus that morning. "Why are you here, and not among your engines?"
"I have to be here so I can manage what everyone's doing. Running a railway takes a lot of time and effort," Topham replied.
"And cream buns!" Percy added cheekily as he passed with a goods train.
"Yes, and–" Topham did a double take before realizing what Percy had said and facepalming. Jane giggled.
"Aren't you going to discipline him, Hatt?" Boomer asked.
"No, that was just harmless banter. A little bit is good to keep their minds sharp."
"Leave it to the steamie to pull such an old gag," Diesel grumbled as he passed with some milk tankers.
"But racist remarks don't count. Knock it off, Diesel, or I'll put you back in Tidmouth Harbor's shunting yard!"
"Okay, FINE."
After Diesel was gone, Boomer was most confused. "You don't threaten them with scrapping?"
The Hatts looked horrified. "What? No! That's much too drastic and disproportionate! The worst we go is locking them up in their sheds until they behave!" Topham spluttered.
"And that...works?"
"Very well, actually," Jane replied. "Through many studies and our own experiences with them, Lifers are psychologically dependent on doing work. Denying that is therefore an incredibly effective method of moderating their behavior. It was first really demonstrated with my husband's father, Charles Topham Hatt, who got Henry, Gordon, and James to stop objecting to getting their own coaches via a strike. Threatening to put them on tedious jobs is also highly effective."
"I'll believe it when I see it." Boomer left on the F6.
"Jane? If that's how all Americans treat Lifers..."
"It isn't, Lady sees her driver like a father. Good people exist regardless of their homeland."
"Unfortunately," Edward said cynically as he entered the station, "they're not the ones in power."
"Hm...those coaches look...familiar..." Lady said to herself as she approached the teal-and-white cars.
"And so do you!" Connor puffed in. "Hi Lady! Long time no see, huh?"
"Connor!" Lady gasped. "I'll say, it's been twenty-five years! How're you and Caitlin?"
"Pretty good!" Caitlin said, suddenly appearing. "Our old managers sold us off to cover a gambling debt. That, and there were still people back home who wanted me scrapped. We're so happy that the Earl bought us."
"He's a great man, Lady," Connor added. "Robert Norramby loves Lifers almost as much as the Hatt dynasty does!"
"Then I suppose I'll be seeing more of him." Lady shunted Connor's coaches to him. "Okay Caitlin, you're next!"
"No she isn't! There's an inspection!" came an unfamiliar voice. A woman hopped out of the GG1 and marched over to the Baldwin 101 1/2.
"That's today?" Connor asked Caitlin, who shrugged.
The woman got in front of Lady. "Miss, this is highly unprofessional," Burnett commented.
"Shaddap." The woman forcibly put her hand on Lady's face, opening her right eyelids as far as they would go.
"Ow! Mind the scars!" Lady winced. The woman payed no heed and did the same for her other eye. Then she shoved her fingers up the tank engine's nose, before proceeding to stick her hands into her mouth.
"Geg yur rucka rands gow gov guy rucka roh," Lady, visibly angry, said through the woman's hands.
"Excuse me?" the woman snapped, taking her hands out.
"Never mind."
The woman went back to the GG1. Before she left, she was heard saying "Boomer WILL be pleased."
"For an engine named Lady you certainly aren't very ladylike," a blue truck commented.
"Stuff it, Rickety."
"Boomer?" Burnett asked, suddenly worried.
"What about his name?" Caitlin asked while Lady went to get her coaches.
"I know a Boomer. I met him at a bar in '91 back at Muffle Mountain. He called me a lunatic for wanting to drive a Lifer." He sighed. "After my girlfriend passed, though, I didn't have much to live for. But Lady, you gave me that new something."
"I know, and you're welcome. So the Boomer guy is trouble?"
"I believe he is. We'll have to keep an eye on him." Lady nodded thoughtfully and went back to work.
This chapter's a little short, but they'll gradually get longer!
The inspection has thus begun. But is it really an inspection? Or is something more sinister in store for Sodor? What will the controllers say?
All this and more in the next chapter – The Engines Have Had Enough!