Chapter 8: Realisations

"I had a sad and uneasy feeling that we were somehow being swept apart by a huge tidal wave over which we had no control; that from the distance a freezing shadow was approaching which would one day engulf us." – Jessica Mitford

"We need more powdered moonstone." Ava explained, smiling contentedly as the glistening liquid bubbled. Potions class was her sanctuary and the simple act of brewing seemed able to take her mind off all distractions. "Can you grab it from the store cupboard please?"

An arm wrapped firmly around her waist, a soft chuckle echoing in her ear as Evan's lips brushed against her cheek. "I'd much rather stay here with you." He replied smugly, his other hand drifting teasingly up her own.

Ava flushed prettily, shaking her head in mock condemnation as she turned around to face Evan. "I'd much rather our potion didn't explode." She told him jokingly, desperately trying to ignore the hunger glistening in his blue eyes.

Evan merely hummed in response, reluctantly releasing her from his grip before slinking over to the store cupboard. A quiet sigh escaped Ava's lips as she ran a hand through her dark curls.

A couple of weeks had passed since their kiss in the Common Room and the two seemed to have fallen into a comfortable routine with one another. When it was just the two of them by themselves, Ava found herself immensely enjoying his company.

Evan was witty and charming and the more time she spent with him, the more she could picture it working. Indeed, prefect duty was definitely more exciting with him by her side, even if they did end up abandoning their patrol in favour of a snogging session in an abandoned corridor.

"Happy now?"

Ava almost jumped in surprise as Evan's fingers gently grazed her hips. A smirk curled across his face as she tried to refocus on the simmering potion, delicately adding a sprinkle of powdered moonstone to the concoction.

"Don't I get a reward?"

Ava ducked her head, allowing her dark hair to fall across her face and form a barrier between her burning cheeks and Evan's inquisitive gaze. She heard him chuckle quietly in amusement before he gently swept her hair to one side, his lips brushing ever so lightly against her neck.

"How about later?"

Ava was spared her embarrassment at his suggestive tone by Wilkes' rude interruption.

"Oi Rosier, this is a lesson not a candlelit dinner date."

Loud laughter echoed across the classroom as the group of Slytherin's chuckled at his taunt. Evan merely sighed in exasperation, although a sly smile crept across his face as he turned his attention towards his friends.

Ava took the opportunity to have a slight reprieve from his affections, slipping out of his hold. Sure, things had been going well between them. But it didn't mean that she was comfortable with his gang's crude comments.

She glanced across the classroom, biting back a smile as she saw Slughorn beaming at Lily with pride, congratulating on her undoubtedly perfect potion. A part of Ava was secretly thrilled that the redhead had managed to beat the entirety of Slytherin House. Both of the girls being prefects had drawn them closer and after Lily's condemnation of James' Potter, Ava would even dare to say they were now friendly acquaintances.

Ava's eyes continued onto the next table, rolling her eyes at the gaggle of Gryffindors grouped together and the thick purple smoke billowing from their cauldron. Remus caught her gaze and offered her a friendly wave which she happily returned.

He had been another rather pleasant surprise. As prefect, he seemed to take his duties seriously and his diligent and respectful manner often seemed at odds with his friend's outlandish behaviour. Ava had rather enjoyed their patrol shifts together and his ability to always offer a thoughtful analysis on situations was something she had begun to value…especially when there seemed to be so few people, she was able to speak openly to in her own house.

Unfortunately their exchange didn't go unnoticed, causing James to elbow Remus in the stomach and shoot Ava a suspicious glare. Sirius, disturbed by the distraction, eventually noticed her attention and surprisingly flashed her a toothy grin, much to James' chagrin.

A smile flitted across Ava's face at the sight. At least it seemed like Gryffindor's quidditch defeat hadn't soured him entirely towards her. Although she tried to ignore the flutter of relief in her stomach at the thought.

"Need any help?"

Suddenly Ava was pulled from her thoughts, quickly pulling her gaze away from Sirius as she glanced at Evan in surprise. His blue eyes shone with curiosity as they landed on her flushed appearance, a grin playing on his lips as he leant forward to press a kiss on her cheek.

"You really might want to keep a closer eye on that potion Ava. It's bubbling over." He murmured, chucklingly softly as she let out a squeak of surprise.

Ava cursed under her breath as she attempted to amend the damage done to her carefully brewed potion, trying to ignore Evan's hand hovering over hers as she frantically stirred the concoction. However, she couldn't help but lift her gaze ever so slightly to get a glimpse of the table of Gryffindors in front.

Her breath caught in her throat as she saw grey eyes staring back at her, Sirius's expression strangely solemn. And, as Evan's fingers encased her hand to help her in her potion-fixing efforts, she could have sworn that his eyes narrowed even further.

What was he thinking? And, more importantly, why did she care?

Ava didn't have to wait long to find out Sirius's opinion on the matter.

Defence Against the Dark Arts had never been her favourite subject, but the one following potions class had to be one of the worst lessons she had ever endured. Since starting, Professor Prewett had been keen to encourage a 'practical' approach to learning and spell demonstrations often featured in his teaching methods.

Unfortunately for Ava that now meant being paired with a very irritable Sirius.

Apparently, in his eyes, she couldn't do anything right today and after he had snapped at her for the fifth time about getting the spell wrong, she decided to address his grumpiness head on.

"Is everything okay?" She asked, her voice filled with concern as her hazel eyes raked across his face for any sign that would betray his thoughts. Despite having an impulsive manner and a painfully inability to conceal his emotions, Sirius had never struck her as the type who would be good at actually expressing his feelings.

Her assumption was proven right as the Gryffindor student shrugged nonchalantly, leaning back in his chair and refusing to meet her eyes. "Why wouldn't it be?" He muttered darkly, determinedly avoiding her gaze as she frowned slightly in response.

"You just seem…different." She murmured softly, anxiously twisting her hands together as the icy tension crept further between them. It hadn't been this awkward since their first lesson sat together.

Sirius scoffed loudly, his head quickly whipping up as he fixed her with a disbelieving stare. "Different?" He repeated, a sickening tone of distain lacing his voice. It almost sounded foreign to her. "I'm acting different?" An unpleasant scowl appeared on his face as he leant forward. "I'm not the one making nice with death eaters." He hissed angrily.

Ava flinched at his choice of words, almost recoiling from his furious stare. Her mouth opened helplessly to respond, but he didn't even give her the time to process his words.

"You know what the really stupid thing is?" He said through gritted teeth, clenching his jaw as he glanced away from her shocked face. "I actually started to think you were different." He scoffed in distain, almost as if he were silently cursing himself. "But you're not! You're the same as the rest of them." He exclaimed, wildly gesturing at her in frustration. "Looking out for yourself, thinking that you're better than everyone else."

Ava pressed her lips together, fighting off the impulse to retreat from his hurtful words. "I don't understand-" She began quietly, but was swiftly interrupted by Sirius's disbelieving snort.

"Clearly…"

"Sirius, I-"

"Forget it Burke!" He replied, an unkind smile appearing on his lips. It was a far cry from the charming goofy one he had given her earlier in potions. "If I would have known you'd end up with that prick anyway, I wouldn't have bothered with the pleasantries." He sneered.

Ava felt her heart sink at the derisive tone in his voice. Pleasantries? It was evident that he thought much less of her now. "You don't see the side I see." She murmured quietly in a feeble effort to defend herself.

It was true. Sirius would never see the side of Evan that was capable of humour, intelligence, warmth and, at times, even kindness. In fact, come to think of it, Sirius didn't seem to recognise that any Slytherins were capable of being those things either. From the very start, he had always had an issue with her house and what he perceived them to stand for…and he had never let Ava forget it.

He would never understand.

Despite the weakness of her tone, her words seemed to trigger something with Sirius, his head snapping up as if she had cursed him. Fury blazed in his grey eyes as his face contorted into an angry snarl. "No, I just see the side that calls people mudbloods."

It was like a slap to the face. Ava flinched as if she had been physically hurt by his words, tearing her gaze away from him and forcing herself to stare ahead at Professor Prewett as he carefully observed the pair of students sat in front of them.

"Ah, yes! Very good Mr Buckley! Now if you just-"

Ava's heart thudded sickeningly against her chest as her eyes began to sting, the tears threatening to escape as she desperately willed them away. Her hands shook under the desk as she clenched them together, her gaze refusing to turn to the boy sat beside her.

It was going to be a long lesson…

Sirius groaned internally as Professor Prewett announced they would be working in pairs to discuss the next lesson's topic – the characteristics of a werewolf. Usually he would have chuckled loudly and shot James, Peter and, of course, Remus a knowing grin, but all he could think about was the girl sat next to him.

Ava had refused to speak to him for the rest of the lesson, perching herself as far away as possible from him and determinedly staring straight ahead. Even as Professor Prewett announced their teamworking task, she had simply buried her head in her parchment, her long dark hair forming a shield between them.

Sirius knew he deserved it. He shouldn't have spoken to her like that, but his anger had got the best of him earlier. He just couldn't understand why she, of all people, would entertain the pathetic antics of someone like Rosier. It was well-known that the gang of Slytherins he belonged to where destined for no good.

She knew that herself from their run-in at Hogsmeade. Had she forgotten so quickly?

Deep down, a part of him was hurt as he had truly believed she was different to the others…different to his family Perhaps it was his own pride that had been knocked. But he knew that the crushing disappointment in his chest meant more than that.

And, the painful ache of guilt was even worse.

"Ava, I-" Sirius began, a desperate attempt to make amends as Professor Prewett made to dismiss the class. He saw her stiffen slightly, the grip on her quill tightening as she still refused to meet his gaze.

"I didn't-"

Then he saw the tears glistening in her hazel eyes and, for the first time in his life, Sirius felt a deep remorse.

But before he could even begin to mutter out an apology, in the blink of an eye she had quickly stashed her things away and had flown from the classroom. He could only watch her retreating figure in despair as he silently cursed himself for being so careless.

"Werewolves next lesson, eh? Remus is in for a treat!" James's booming voice made Sirius flinch slightly as his best friend bounded up to him happily, although his smile faded as he noticed the worried expression on Sirius's face. "What's up mate?"

Sirius shook his head and forced a terse smile onto his face for his friend's benefit. But as he glanced across the classroom and caught a glimpse of a smirking Evan Rosier, he felt the strange urge to punch something.

I'm so sorry for the delay in updating and for the very short chapter. Life has been crazy recently! I know I promised a cute moment, but I've ended up splitting this chapter into two…so just a whole lot of angst for the moment. I promise it will change in Chapter 9 and will be worth the wait!

By the way, the quote from Jessica Mitford is from a book called Hons and Rebels that I would highly recommend. She's one of JK Rowling's heroines and grew up to be a left-wing rebel despite belonging to a family that had ties to the Nazi Party and British Union of Fascists. Seems pretty similar to the Black family, if you ask me…

Also, on the topic of politics, I think one of the reasons I've found it so difficult to write recently is because I've felt so disheartened by the state of the world – and specifically my country. At times it genuinely feels like the death eaters and Voldemort have won!

Anyhow, as always, thanks so much for your support! I'm off travelling again soon, but I'm hoping to get better at updating in a timely fashion. The next chapter will feature an intuitive Remus, Ava and Evan having a disagreement, a worried Sirius and a very sweet scene. Stay tuned!