Disclaimer: I don't own RvB.
Episode 57: PAINTBALL! The Second
Looking over the tense Troopers and irritated instructors, Marley had a brilliant idea. "OI!" she called, catching their attention quite nicely.
"WHAT!?" Dex bellowed back.
"I PROMISED YOU A PAINT MATCH ONCE THE ILLUSION WASN'T NECESSARY, RIGHT?" Marley reminded him.
"YEAH, BUT WE KINDA WENT AHEAD AND DID THAT WITHOUT YOU!" Rick yelled.
"WHAT!" Suffice to say, Marley wasn't all that pleased. "I DEMAND ANOTHER MATCH! THREE WAY! STRIKE TEAM VS RED TEAM VS BLUE TEAM!"
"Wait..." Eagle's voice drawled through the comms. "Who are the Strike Team?"
"Me, Lock, Clear, Hippie, Speedy, and Sis. Although, Speedy won't show up for a while so Niner will take her place. Doc can go where he'd like," Marley answered. "Steel is with Blue Team."
"Why is Sis on the Strike Team?" Dex asked.
"Because we're the kind to sow chaos behind enemy lines with hit and run tactics. Plus, I'm mentoring the girl. And it makes the teams more even," Marley drawled.
"I will accept that reasoning," Dex allowed.
"Eagle! You're in charge of making sure there's enough ammo for the teams. I ask that you make a single color for each team. Glitter is not allowed. I'm not sure how you do it, but any glitter you touch is ten times harder to get rid of than normal, pain-in-the-rear glitter," Marley said, addressing Eagle directly.
"Roger Roger~!" the sniper sang with evil glee.
"You have unleashed a monster, Marley," Al 'breathed.'
"I told him not to use glitter," Marley defended.
"Yeah... but he supplies Caboose and Dex with glitter rounds. Dex might leave the glitter in the crate but Caboose? I'm not so certain about him being so considerate," the A.I. pointed out. Marley sighed.
"Okay... but why tell me this now instead of earlier? Or later when I give him free reign?" Marley asked.
"You're going to give him free reign?!" everyone asked in horror.
"Chorus," Marley intoned and at once, the previous tension was made to look like two little kids fighting over the same toy. Marley swallowed uncomfortably at the suffocating feeling. "You guys don't even know what's really going on there!" she said.
"It made you serious. It could cost me a brother. You considered it bad enough to train us for it. You just told us you were going to give Eagle free reign in that conflict. Forgive us if we treat it like another Project Freelancer," Dex declared, Red Team nodding behind him. Marley smirked wryly.
"You've grown so much, Dex," she said with a quite, rueful chuckle. "Makes me wonder if I didn't force my vision onto you even as I tried to avoid it."
"Ah, enough philosophy," Dex huffed, waving a hand dismissively as he walked toward Red Base. "It's strategy time. AL! Same rules as last time! Keep Kai out of my path if you can 'cause I ain't holding back!"
"Roger that!" Al called back, guiding the rest of his team into Blue Base for their own planning session.
"Well, I guess we need to figure out who's going to be leading the Strike Team," Flowdie said.
"Who knows the 'enemy' tactics best?" Marley asked.
"You or Flowdie," Dave said instantly.
"Rock paper scissors?" Flowdie offered.
"Nah. You're the tactician. You lead," Marley pointed out. With good grace, Flowdie accepted.
/*/
Two hours later, the three team leaders and their seconds met in the center of the valley to retrieve their ammunition from Eagle. "And there's no glitter in these... right?" Flowdie asked, just to be sure.
"Cross my heart," Eagle answered, pushing the Strike crate toward the man. "Two clips per gun per member."
"Thank you. Half hour grace period to return to your teams," Flowdie said, Marley grinning as she took control of the crate.
"This... is gonna be good~!" she sang. Dex laughed.
"You and I have very different ideas when it comes to 'good,' Black," Al muttered mutinously, also taking his team's crate.
"See you through my scope~!" Dex called as he walked away, Eagle chuckling at his back.
"Let's get this back to base," Steel said, moving to help Al maneuver the crate, "I'm suddenly having second thoughts about our strategy."
"Why do you say that; Marley's cackles or Dex being in charge of Red Team?" the A.I. asked.
"Both," Steel responded evenly. "And Hippie being in charge of the Strike Team."
"Really? Hippie?" Steel gave Al a look then sighed, shaking his head.
"Hippie was the one who assembled you all in Blood Gulch, Al. The worst of the worst in the most unremarkable box canyon in UNSC space, a dead end pit designed to hide you. Who would look for the most advanced A.I. apart from CORTANA in a place like that?" he explained. Al was... not as surprised as he thought he'd be.
"Wow. The only new information there was that Hippie selected us," he said. Steel shrugged.
"Fact remains, you only found that out now," he said. "What does that say about Hippie's planning skills?" Al faltered and Steel knew he'd made his point.
/*/
Doc watched in shocked awe as the Teams took their positions. Hippie in a tree, Clear on a ledge, Lock in the bushes, and Niner edging along the canyon wall while Black faded out of view and Sis lurked in the cave opening. Al was on top of Blue Base, Caboose was on the ramp; almost hidden by the shadows, and Tucker followed a foot behind Steel as they moved toward the center of the canyon, no doubt searching for the other players. Over at Red Base, Burgundy was scaling the canyon wall, making good use of his Burgundy armor as he made his way to a perch, Red was staying back on the ramp, Lopez was moving out to meet Steel and Tucker head on, Maroon was setting up paint mines, and Dex had vanished. Exactly half an hour after the three teams got their ammo, Steel swung his gun to the left as something caught his eye. A split second later, a splotch of blue paint decorated the grass while Steel's helmet was engulfed in orange. "Oh skits!" Tucker wailed, throwing himself down and rolling behind a nearby bush as Dex de-cloaked.
"Run run run, you can't escape me, I'm the Orange Man~!" the Senior Agent sang spinning his gun and giving the cyan trainee a chance.
"Shoot him! Shoot him!" Hippie barked, shooting slightly ahead and behind the blur on his sensors. Dex cackled and avoided each shot as he returned fire. *FWOOMPH! * *THUD! * "Kill stealer!"
"Sniper~!" Eagle sang, already moving to a new vantage point.
"Ow," moaned Hippie, reaching a shaking hand toward his locked up knee.
"Shut up," Dex growled, shooting the Phantom in the head before stalking off, cloak re-engaging as he moved.
"He's gone!" Clear growled.
"I'm going for the flag," Black informed them.
"Heehahahah~!" Maroon laughed and the ground below Black exploded in maroon paint, taking her out of the match.
"Ho-man, they're really kicking our butts," Caboose muttered.
"Say good night~!" a soft voice purred in his ear before he felt his armor lock up. "Oops. Now you can't," the voice said before the Pilot Lady came into his view, heading inside. Hearing Niner had taken Caboose out, Hippie and Black both grinned viciously while Lock and Clear shivered.
"Remind me not to get on her bad side," they said as one.
"Girl power!" Sis cheered... before she was taken out by a burgundy round to the face.
"And then there were three," Burgundy broadcast on an open channel. Clear took a shot at the opposing sniper, then cursed when he saw nothing but painted rock. A second later a burgundy shot got him in the back as he tried to move to a new position. "Two."
"One," Dex declared over Tucker's moan.
"I count it a win that I lasted this long!" Lock declared. "Wait... what about Niner?"
"Her? As soon as she finished off Al she got a face of paint," Burgundy revealed.
"I'm coming for you, Lock~!" Dex sang.
"I'm worried."
"You should be~!"
/*/
"Something tells me this wasn't the way you saw this going," Doc remarked as the three Teams gathered to clean their armor.
"My boys~!" Marley sang, slinging her arms over Dex and Eagle. "I'm so proud of you~!"
"That was humiliating," Steel stated.
"Yeah, because you were the first taken out!" Dex crowed.
"We're having a second round," Marley declared, slipping down from where she'd hung between the weapons expert and the sniper of Red Team and striding confidently over to the Strike Team.
"Whatever you say, Agent Black~!" Dex sang, eyes sharp and smirk dangerous. The other two Teams shuddered, remembering that he'd taken most of them out himself. A fifteen minute grace period was issued and the snipers got back in position. This time, Lock was with Niner while Clear was with Sis. Caboose was sent to the cave and ambushed by Dex. Just like the first time the Reds and Blue had a paintball match, the weapons expert executed a quick, efficient, and brutal takedown.
"Geeze Orange, brutal much?" Black muttered, watching the Blue go down with paint on his shoulder, knee, and head.
"He's a Human Tank, Black," Orange answered, already moving in search of a new target.
/*/
Burgundy was scanning the canyon walls carefully, searching for the Strike Team's sniper or snipers. He spotted a sliver of cyan and quickly calculated where Hippie's head would be before swiftly placing a round in the likely area. The lovely, almost perfectly round, blob of burgundy and the aggravated yell were enough to tell Burgundy his math had been correct. "Ya moved, Hippie," he called, already sliding further back on his ridge to, hopefully, take him out of range of the remaining snipers.
"BLACK! YOU TRAINED THAT ONE TOO WELL!" Hippie roared.
"Ah. No. That one would be on Lock," Black answered. "And his own natural skill with the weapon. Honestly, I'm not too sure how he got sent to Blood Gulch when he had such potential as a sniper."
"I am of the opinion that you warp reality to fit your perception."
"Hippie... that made no sense."
"No no. It makes perfect sense," Al interjected. "She thinks things should be a certain way, and so they are."
"I think therefore you are?" Black asked. Burgundy shook his head and took out Al.
"HEY!"
"Distractions make for dead men," the sniper drawled, moving locations, ejecting the spent shell, catching it, and stowing it for later re-use.
/*/
Red and Maroon tag-teamed Steel; Maroon leading him right into Red's range; before moving on to Clear and Sis in the Cave. Red hollered and caught their attention while Maroon slipped in and swiftly 'slit' their throats with his twin paint knives. "Sis and Clear down. Three Strikers left," the tech called in.
"Roger. Cyan remains. Keep a weathered eye," Orange replied. Maroon grinned.
"Can I take him? Swordsman to swordsman?" he asked. Orange chuckled.
"Have at em, Maroon. I call Black," he answered. Everyone was startled when Maroon let out a wild yell before vanishing as completely as his armor would allow. "Valhalla rest Tucker's Blue soul," Orange stated in to the stunned silence.
"I hate you, Orange," Tucker moaned a moment before the sounds of combat filtered through the link.
/*/
From his vantage point Doc watched with a grimace as Maroon uncloaked right in front of Tucker, knife already headed for the Blue's neck. Tucker was fast enough to get his modified paint sword up to block it but the unfamiliar weight made his return strike sloppy and allowed Maroon to slide under it and score a hit on his thigh. Seeing the maroon paint on his cyan armor Tucker breathed out thanks that the titanium alloy was strong enough to protect him from a hit like that. Maroon took advantage of his distraction and drove his knife into the relatively unprotected back of Tucker's knee, locking up his leg. A moment later and maroon paint was dripping down Tucker's neck. "Blue Team neutralized," Maroon called in. "Striker status?"
"Stand by," Orange whispered.
"On the Hunt," Red declared. A soft rustling sound followed by the discharge of a sniper came from Burgundy's channel swiftly followed by an enraged bellow.
"ARE YOU FUDGING KIDDING ME RIGHT NOW?!"
"Niner down," Burgundy remarked rather unnecessarily. Maroon chuckled and began making his way toward the center of the canyon. Not even five minutes later Red and Orange met him, each looking quite satisfied.
"I trained you lot too well," Black groused. Orange laughed darkly.
"Sure you didn't just underestimate us?" he asked. Black growled and Orange just chuckled.
"Seriously, how did we beat both teams both times?!" Rick asked, looking at the Strike and Blue Teams in confusion, helmet under his arm.
"You got lucky," Niner groused.
"Blue Team I can see, but we wiped out both of you! The Strike Team didn't even get to Strike!" Rick continued.
"Alright, alright, no need to rub it in their faces Rick," Dex said calmly. Rick gave him a mutinous look.
"Kill joy."
"Kill-stealer. We're even," Dex stated dully. Eagle snickered at the pair.
"Well, I feel better about trusting the fate of a planet to these guys," Ed said.
"Agreed," Steel muttered, eyeing the Reds in consideration.
"I say we have a day of paintball every week or so. All in favor say 'aye,'" Marley said, painfully lifting an arm. All of Red Team and the snipers, except Al, gave affirmative 'ayes.' "Motion carried. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna have a bath," the First Phantom said, making her was stiffly down into the Caverns. Dex nodded and helped Kai to her feet before guiding her toward Blue Base. Slowly, the others disassembled back to their own areas and called it a day.
/?/
A/N: I... honestly hadn't noticed that I had Red Team taking everyone out until Rick mentioned it. Yikes! Guess I did train them a little too well. Also, I may be biased. Just a little. Let me know what you thought and give your suggestions for what the Reds and Blues will get to to next and/or who you think should have won those paintball matches.