tomoyo daidouji and meiling were dear, beloved friends. this friendship seemed quite unlikely, however they found that they had much more in common than they originally thought. neither of them had any magical abilities, they both came from noble, respected families, they both seemed to fall in love too easily. meiling didn't like thinking about that last bit, though. the two of them had been through a lot together- more than they can recount, it's unbelievable to anyone outside of their small circle. at first, meiling only thought of tomoyo as an accessory to sakura. she always had her video camera in hand when sakura was capturing the clow cards, her costumes were all made by her, and she seemed to be pretty much attached to sakura by the hip. while she didn't exactly mind tomoyo herself, sakura got on her last nerve. at first, it was painfully obvious to meiling what would end up happening. sakura would catch the attention of her dear syaoran, they would fall for each other, and syaoran would call off the engagement. as much as she didn't want this to happen, meiling knew it was inevitable, and she wasn't surprised at all when the engagement was called off. this didn't mean she wasn't hurt, though. she thought syaoran was the only possible one for her, she couldn't imagine herself by anyone else's side. without him, she didn't know what she was going to do with herself. after that night of bawling her eyes out on tomoyo's lap, meiling slowly recovered. she accepted the fact that syaoran had fallen for another girl- and the fact that he was never in love with her in the first place. she wasn't in love with him, either though. she realized with time that because she was only five, it was just a childish infatuation. nothing more, nothing less. she wanted desperately to tell herself that they were in love, they were the perfect couple at first, but she couldn't. it was dishonest, it was unfair to both syaoran and herself.
she experimented with different social circles, she often joined chat rooms to talk to people around her age from around the world. while they were kind people, and nice to talk to, none of them stuck as friends. she moved on to making an instagram profile, which she gained quite a following on. she had around 1,200 followers. she mostly just posted her outfits and scenery of places she went to on school breaks. she never put long captions under her posts or uploaded to her story, just took her pictures, posted them, and left. tomoyo had followed her as well as syaoran, akiho and syaoran's sisters. sakura wanted to use instagram, but she didn't know how at all, so she stuck to snapchat. she only really sent pictures of her cooking or kero eating the meals that came of those photos. she also decided to experiment with her wardrobe a bit, she figured that clothes were a big part of self-discovery. she didn't make any drastic changes really, she just added some brighter colors and discovered she really liked layering. despite that being quite simple, it helped boost her confidence a lot. when she looked in the mirror, she liked what she saw. she didn't see syaoran's fiancee anymore, she saw meiling li. in that engagement, she realized, she had lost herself. she was so used to being by someone else's side, so used to titles that she forgot to pay attention to herself. what she wanted, what she needed, what she thought. although breaking off that engagement was painful, perhaps, meiling thought, this was a blessing in disguise.
while it hadn't been long since meiling had visited japan to check up on syaoran and sakura, she missed it. she couldn't pinpoint exactly what she missed- as much as she loved tomoeda, it had no competition with hong kong. that was where she planned on staying, unlike syaoran. she picked up her phone and opened her contacts, scrolling down until she saw "tomoyo."
she started a video call, and she propped her phone up against a lamp on her desk. tomoyo answered quickly.
"hello meiling ! how are you ?" meiling put her elbows on the table and held her face with her hands.
"i'm okay, you ?" tomoyo gave a light smile and simply said, "i'm fine."
meiling sat in awkward silence for a second before tomoyo asked, "did you want to talk about anything ? or just chat ?" meiling just said,
"i just wanted to chat. you haven't talked to me in a while, so i got a little worried, y'know." meiling's eyes widened for a second.
shit. she didn't mean to say that. tomoyo gave a light giggle. "oh, i appreciate the concern, but you don't have to worry about me. i'll be fine. shouldn't i be the one worried about you, meiling ?" meiling gulped and felt her face begin to heat up a little, but not so much that it was noticeable, thank god. just like her reason for wanting to go back to japan, she couldn't pinpoint this feeling at all. it was foreign, almost. oh, right. tomoyo was talking to her. she shook her head a bit and replied in a matter-of-fact tone, "why, aren't you considerate ? well, i'm alright, school is the same as it always is. i joined the school's martial arts club, but they're all rookies compared to me, so maybe i could teach them a thing or two. feelings are confusing, social media is confusing, family is confusing. but it's whatever, i don't really mind." shit. again. she shouldn't have brought up feelings. tomoyo just gave her signature smile and said, "well, you know i'm always here for you. if you need anything, just message me, and i'll get back to you as soon as i can." god, of course tomoyo would say that. this was the only thing meiling didn't like about her. she was kind, too kind. too understanding. too considerate. too loving. too honest. meiling simply nodded in response. tomoyo spoke up,
"you know, i have a lot of confusing feelings too. i don't talk about them often, but that doesn't mean they aren't there, right ? so, meiling, please trust me when i say that i'm here for you and i understand."
meiling just nodded in response and let out a little, "o-okay."
tomoyo spoke up again, "i have to leave now i'm afraid, i have homework to do. but please remember what i said, okay ? my love and support are both with you. take care."
with this, she hung up the phone. meiling didn't get a chance to say goodbye, but she was glad she didn't since she was now a flustered mess at the mention of the word "love." it had to be platonic, especially coming from tomoyo, right ?
she glanced over at the clock and realized it was getting quite late. she decided to make herself a cup of chamomile tea to help calm her anxieties, and hop in the bath shortly afterwards.
when meiling climbed into bed, she stared at the ceiling for a short while. she gave some thought to her feelings about tomoyo, and realized shortly that this was what she was 'supposed' to feel towards syaoran. love. she buried her face in her pillow and rolled around a bit. she groaned quite loud to herself.
"god, why is loving so easy ?" she thought out loud. love was supposed to be something incredibly complicated and hard to identify. but apparently not for meiling. meiling hoped and prayed that the next morning she would wake up to a mind clear of any of these feelings towards her friend. she didn't.
when she woke up the next morning, tomoyo was the first thing she thought of. she took a sharp inhale and rolled over onto her side, reaching under her pillow to grab her phone. she saw that just a few minutes ago, she had gotten a message from tomoyo. it read,
'hello, meiling, i hope i didn't wake you up by messaging you this early. it's a weekend, so if you need to sleep, please do. i wanted to let you know that i'll be in a choir competition quite soon. next weekend. it's in tokyo, but unfortunately neither syaoran nor sakura can come. i know it's on short notice, but i'd really love for you to come. if you can't make it, please let me know, and i'll mail you a dvd once the competition is over.'
meiling felt a smirk tug at her lips. 'screw it.' she thought, 'i might as well try.' meiling decided that it was time to pay another visit to japan. she'd had perfect attendance at school that year aside from her previous visit to japan, so she figured it wouldn't hurt to visit once more. the visit was spontaneous, sure, but that was just the meiling way of doing things. she figured if she was going to be in love, she'd have to confess as soon as possible.
she wasn't a person to keep her thoughts or feelings to herself, not at all. meiling had always been an open book. she let tomoyo know that she was visiting, got the venue information, and arrived the following friday.
meiling checked in to her hotel and plopped down onto her bed. although it wasn't a long flight, meiling was still exhausted. she kept herself up for the past few nights thinking. about her feelings, about tomoyo, about the visit. what if she froze up and ended up not confessing ? what if she confessed, but tomoyo didn't accept her feelings, or even worse, she was in love with somebody else ? she shook her head quickly.
'snap out of it, meiling.' she grabbed her phone from the nightstand next to her and dialed syaoran's number.
"hello, this is syaoran speaking." meiling chuckled in response.
"i know who it is, silly. i dialed your number. i bet you can't guess where i am right now." syaoran hummed for a second as if he was in thought,
"france ?" meiling was caught by surprise by this.
"what ? no ! i'm in japan again, but in tokyo this time. i came to see tomoyo's choir competition." syaoran made an 'ahh' sound.
"why so sudden, though ? i'm sure tomoyo wouldn't mind sending you a dvd of the concert." meiling debated internally whether she should tell her cousin about her feelings for the girl. screw it.
"well, um... you found someone you loved, right ? well, i have too. it just so happened to be tomoyo." meiling waited anxiously for a response from the boy. he spoke up soon enough, though.
"well, i'm happy for you. i hadn't really thought of you two together before, but now that i think about it, it makes a lot of sense," he paused to clear his throat,
"i'm sure daidouji feels the same way about you. she talks about you a lot, and quite fondly. i'm wishing you the best." meiling smiled behind the phone. she was happy to have syaoran's approval, and hearing this from him made her feel less anxious.
"oh, and tell daidouji sakura and i said hi. we can't make it tomorrow because sakura has housework, and i wanted to help her." meiling nodded behind the phone, making a small 'hmm' noise as a 'sure.'
syaoran said his goodbyes and hung up the phone. she set her phone down, and the rest of that evening went by rather quickly. she had dinner, played some rhythm games on her phone for a bit, and went to sleep.
the next morning, meiling woke up to several alarms that she had set the previous night. she wanted to make sure there was absolutely zero chance of her sleeping in late.
meiling threw on a white blouse with a cherry pattern, and a red overall dress. she put on white knee-high socks and black mary jane shoes. she did her hair in its normal style, but opted for velvet ribbons around the buns this time. it was only a simple change, but she was sure that tomoyo would notice the change in material. she was a budding seamstress, after all.
she put on a white shimmery eyeshadow and a light pink lip gloss. she never wore makeup unless it was for a special occasion, and she figured that this could easily count as one. she never wore heavy makeup though, partially because she didn't see a point in it, and partially because she was only 13.
she grabbed her bag and phone, and headed out. the train ride to the venue was quite short, and she checked in her ticket at the box office. tomoyo insisted on getting meiling front row seats, and even though she refused at first, the singer wouldn't give up. so meiling said it was fine on one condition; she paid for the ticket. it cost her a pretty penny, but she didn't really mind.
she was just glad she wouldn't have to squint to see tomoyo. she sat down, listened to the short sound check, and it began. there were a number of entries before her. they were all okay, but nothing special compared to tomoyo's singing. she zoned out for a bit, until she heard tomoyo's name being announced. finally.
tomoyo came out on stage, and meiling swore she felt her heart skip a beat. she was wearing a maroon dress that fell just above her knees, a white lace trim at the bottom. the dress had a white blouse-like bit before the sash, and skirt. she had a black ribbon tied around her collar, drop-down pearl earrings, and a simple maroon beret. she looked absolutely stunning. as soon as tomoyo opened her mouth to begin singing, meiling found herself lost in the girl's voice. it was absolutely ethereal- she sounded heavenly. just for a second, she caught herself questioning if tomoyo was human. as she wrapped up her song, meiling was the first to stand up and start clapping. tomoyo made eye contact with her just for a second, and gave that ever so loving smile.
tomoyo, of course, won first place. meiling didn't expect any less from her. she cheered as loud as she could, but she figured she should save some of her voice for when she went to talk to tomoyo. she heard a ding from her phone, and picked it up. it was a message from tomoyo. meiling felt her face heat up as she read the message,
'could you come backstage for a moment ?'
meiling spotted the stairs on the side of the stage and grabbed her bag to take with her. it was a big stage, so she didn't notice the stairs at first. when she got backstage, she only saw tomoyo there. tomoyo ran to her and gave her an almost bone-crushing hug.
"oh, meiling, you came all the way out here just to see me ?" meiling shyly nodded.
tomoyo clapped her hands together, "oh, i'm so happy. i do hope you enjoyed the competition." she pulled away from the other girl.
"i did, but the other singers were amateur compared to you." tomoyo giggled to herself,
"oh, don't say that. they were all wonderful." just rolled her eyes and smiled. tomoyo looked at meiling head to toe for a moment, and said,
"meiling, you look wonderful. the velvet ribbons are just lovely !" she blushed a bit at this, muttering a small 'thank you.'
she figured this was her chance. she cleared her throat as she began to feel her heart beat much, much faster. she took a deep inhale and began,
"tomoyo, i-i don't know how to say this," she began twiddling her thumbs, "i'm in love with you. i'm not sure exactly when it started, but i know that i am in fact in love with you. it's nothing like what i felt for syaoran.. i just want to be close to you, hear your voice, be a more significant part of your life. i felt love for syaoran, but not this type. it was family love for him. for you, it's different. god, i'm rambling, but please, please accept my feelings."
tomoyo held eye contact with her, smiling the whole time. she took meiling's hands in hers, intertwining their fingers gently. she leaned in to press her lips against meiling's. it only lasted for a second, but meiling knew this was it. it felt right, it felt safe. she kissed tomoyo back, this one lasted a bit longer, but was still short and sweet. tomoyo said in a whisper tone,
"i love you, too, meiling. i've known for quite a while now. i'm so glad you return my feelings." meiling began stammering,
"b-but- we're in different countries ! what will the others think ? what will your family think ?" meiling put her finger on meiling's lip to say, 'hush.'
"it'll be okay. i can visit whenever i'm not busy, my mom doesn't mind. my mom won't care, in fact, i think she'll be quite supportive. the others have known about your feelings for a while, you know. you're not good at hiding them."
meiling's face got visibly red at this, and tomoyo just chuckled.
"why don't you stay at our house until you go back ? my mom would love to have you." meiling looked to the side,
"i already have a hotel, though... i'm only staying until wednesday."
tomoyo clasped one of her hands with both of hers,
"please, we'll take care of the remaining costs. i'd truly love to have you."
meiling used her free hand to put on top of tomoyo's.
"well, in that case, i'd love to."