Day 23
I am standing in the hallway, staring at the sign that reads 'Division Commander' over the closed door beside me. Been there for the last two hours or so, waiting, trying to hear something, getting curious glances from everyone who passes by. Lieutenant Hughes, General Lancaster and Colonel Wise are still inside, talking to General Bradford, and all I can hope for is that they put in a good word for me. Otherwise I will be looking forward to quite a few years at Fort Leavenworth, for disobeying direct orders and more or less going AWOL.
I have had a lot of time to think, and the "what if" question keeps coming back. What if—I had left when I was ordered to do so? What if—I had turned my back on the whole situation up on that mountain? What if—? There is just no "what if" to it, because I would do things over the same way if I had to—well, except without those almost fatal mistakes I had made. Both Jimmy and Cut are okay, but I feel like there were several things I could have done to avoid getting them hurt in the first place. Cut and I had a long argument about it on the way back to Fort Lewis, and he got more than upset, assuring me that neither one of them held me in any way responsible for what happened. Still...
"Sergeant Riggin!" My thoughts are interrupted when Lieutenant Hughes opens the door and hollers for me.
"Right here, Lieutenant!" I push off the wall, giving him a hard look in the desperate attempt to guess from his expression how the situation stands. But there is just nothing to read in his face. Shit! I don't like this. Doesn't look good at all.
LT holds the door, then closes it behind the both of us, taking his seat in front of General Bradford's desk.
I deliberately avoid eye-contact with anyone except him now. "Sergeant Chase Riggin reporting, Sir!" I salute sharply, then stand at attention.
"At ease, Sergeant!" Bradford says hard, never getting up or returning my salute.
Oh, boy! Am I in trouble! I flinch, taking on a somewhat tense 'at ease' position.
There is so much silence in this room, you could cut it with a knife, and it seems to be dragging on forever. Bradford is looking down, flipping through some papers in front of him, his expression completely unreadable. I do not dare to even as much as glance over at the others, but it sure feels like all three of them are staring holes through my back. Oh, just come on out and say what you gotta say, man. This is killin' me!
"Sergeant Riggin!"
I almost startle when Bradford finally addresses me again. "Yes, Sir?"
"Is there anything you wish to say on your behalf?"
"Sir...I..." Shit! I thought about exactly what to say for the last three hours, and now I can't remember a word of it.
"Yes, Sergeant?" Bradford looks up at me, and there seems to be something like a smirk in his face. But I figure it could only be a hallucination on my part.
"Sir," I try again, "all I would like to say is, that if I had to do things over, I would do them just the same way." Oh, no! That's the last thing I wanted to say. Now I fucked it up completely. Well, so much for that, Chase. There goes the next ten years of your life.
"Oh, you would?" Now Bradford is really grinning, and I probably don't have a very bright look on my face, especially when LT gives a suppressed snicker behind my back.
"Sergeant," Bradford quickly sounds serious again, "you understand, of course, that your actions will have extreme consequences, not only for yourself, but for the two men who accompanied you on this mission..."
"General!" I interrupt him. Doesn't matter, I got nothin' left to lose. "If I may, Sir, I accept full responsibility for my actions, but my friends should in no way be affected by this."
"They were with you," he throws in with a stern look.
"Yes, Sir, but they acted solely according to my orders..."
"Now wait a minute, Sergeant," he cuts me off, "let me get this straight. You ordered these men to stay up there with you, despite being instructed to abandon the mission?"
I don't answer and Bradford continues. "You further ordered them to entrap, restrain and shoot at several agents of the United States Government?"
I still do not respond, just think, what the hell did they tell this guy anyways?
"And you further ordered these men to risk their own lives, to save yours and that of General Lancaster?"
I am still thinking, and it takes me a second or two to realize that Bradford's tone of voice has suddenly changed dramatically. "Excuse me?" I squint.
"You heard me, Sergeant," the General gives back. "Did you, or did you not order these men to lay their lives on the line for the success of this mission?"
"No, Sir! I did not!" I finally answer low.
"That's what I thought. Therefore, any charges against you will also affect those two men."
"But General..." I am completely confused now.
"Oh, just let me finish, Sergeant," Bradford is grinning again. "If you would listen a minute, I would tell you that, after careful consideration of the circumstances, I would like to express my deepest appreciation to you and your men."
"Sir?"
"I will also recommend you for immediate promotion to E-7. I will further recommend you for a Silver Star, and both of your friends for the Distinguished Civilian Service Award. Now get out of here, Sergeant. I heard, you have a party waiting for you," Bradford grins, getting up from his chair and saluting.
"Yes, Sir! Thank you, Sir!" I salute back, slightly numb at the moment. But then I am out the door and out of the building, faster than you can 'shake-a-stick-at'. Just in case! He might change his mind.