Anakin stood on the balcony of the visitor suite he and Obi-Wan had been given to stay in, looking out over the farmland and distant hills. The sun was beginning to go down, bathing everything in a warm but quickly fading orange light. They had returned from dinner not long ago and Obi-Wan had gone to take a shower, so Anakin had had a little time to himself.
Their rooms were spacious and bright, with large, open windows without any panes - Anakin made a mental note to ask how they kept out the bugs. There was little furniture in the living room, only several large cushions to sit on and a low table in the old style. Several tapestries adorned the walls, showing flowering trees and large beasts with fearsome tusks.
Dinner had been pleasant. They had sat with the AgriCorps members in the dining hall about half the size of the one at the Jedi Temple, everyone sitting together at two long wooden tables. There were twenty-one Jedi at Safe Haven, as well as a few visiting from other settlements for training and education. Anakin had visited with about five of them, though when he asked how'd they'd come to be sent to the AgriCorps, Obi-Wan had given him a look, so he hadn't found out much. Only Coral had volunteered her story happily, telling Anakin that as a youngling she had actually asked to stay at this farm while on an excursion from the Temple at the age of ten. The Council of Reassignment had granted her wish soon after. She'd never even attempted to build her lightsaber. Anakin had been amazed to hear this. Whoever heard of a Jedi asking to join the AgriCorps?
Behind him in the sitting room he could hear Obi-Wan moving about now, arranging some of the cushions more to his liking. Anakin glanced back nervously. They hadn't yet had a chance to talk about his scuffle with Eraan, and he had a feeling it was about to come up. Obi-Wan didn't often forget about things like that.
"Come here please, Padawan."
Resigned to his fate, Anakin left the balcony, coming to sit on the brightly patterned cushion across from Obi-Wan that his master had moved to the middle of the room. Obi-Wan looked serious, and Anakin had a feeling the laps he'd been made to run earlier were not enough to appease his master.
It had been a long time since he'd been in trouble for fighting; in fact, he hadn't been in a real fight with another kid since the first days of his training as a Jedi. In Mos Espa, boys like him got accustomed early in life to proving themselves with their fists. You learned that it was either fight when you had to, or get beaten down yourself. He'd quickly discovered that it was not so in the Temple. All things considered, Obi-Wan had been patient and kind with him, explaining to Anakin that this was his way of processing his grief and homesickness. He'd said he would learn in time to handle his emotions so he wouldn't lash out.
But now, nearly four years into his Jedi training, Anakin knew more was expected of him. He didn't know how patient and kind Obi-Wan would be this time.
He did feel a bit bad about the fight. He felt bad about how good it had felt to shove Eraan to the ground, and how easy it had been. It had felt good to be challenged, and to win. It had felt good to press the other boy's face into the dirt, both of them knowing Anakin was the far stronger one. Obi-Wan could not know about any of this. These were things that needed to be hidden.
Apologizing right off the bat seemed like a good start. "I'm very sorry for fighting, Master."
"Let me speak first, Anakin."
"Yes, Master," said Anakin. It would surely be the first of many "yes, Masters" he would have to utter before they were through.
"Tell me how the fight started. I'm very interested to hear how you managed to get into a brawl with someone you just met within hours of landing on a new planet."
Anakin looked at his master, unsure if Obi-Wan were trying to be funny. It was hard to tell, sometimes. "Well, we were carrying the stuff to storage, and I was trying to make conversation. And he got touchy and he shoved me."
"And what exactly set him off?" Obi-Wan asked. "Or do you mean to tell me he just started shoving you?"
Anakin hesitated for a moment before deciding to own it. "I said he was touchy and no wonder he couldn't make it as a padawan. But that's no reason to shove a person."
Obi-Wan leveled a disapproving frown at him - the exact reaction Anakin had expected. "No, but I still expect better from you. You are representing the Temple as well as every Jedi padawan and I don't want you strutting about, antagonizing the Jedi here, or letting them antagonize you."
Anakin thought this was unfair. "I wasn't strutting about. And I wasn't antagonizing anyone."
Obi-Wan made an impatient gesture. "Regardless of what you were or weren't doing, I would like you to think more about how your conduct influences others," he said.
Anakin knew his line, but couldn't bring himself to say it. He didn't want to. Why couldn't Obi-Wan even try to see his side, for once. Perfect Obi-Wan, who hadn't even been there to see what happened for himself.
"I am trying to help you, you know," Obi-Wan continued, more gently now.
"Yeah, sure," Anakin said bitterly. "'Correction is compassion.'" This was seemingly a favorite Jedi phrase of his Obi-Wan, one he'd heard a lot during discussions like these over the years. But Anakin had often wondered how much his master had loved the phrase when he was a padawan himself.
"You ought to watch that attitude, or this conversation is going to head to a place I'm sure neither of us want," Obi-Wan said quietly.
Anakin looked down at his hands. "Yes, Master." The frustration within him started to bubble up at last, and he took a deep breath but couldn't seem to force it back down. A few hot tears spilled out of his eyes and down his cheeks, much to his dismay. He hated crying in front of anyone, especially Obi-Wan.
Obi-Wan sighed and reached his hand to Anakin's cheek to brush away a tear. "Now, there's no need for that."
"Yes, Master," said Anakin automatically.
"You're tired and this discussion is going nowhere. Go to bed now and we'll do our meditations together in the morning. All right?"
Anakin nodded, trying to swallow away the lump forming his throat. Without another look at Obi-Wan, he got up and went to his room, only letting his tears fall freely when the door closed behind him.
Obi-Wan had been correct. Anakin had been very tired and sleep had come easy that night. He awoke before sunrise, when only a very faint, grey light had begun to fill his room. He found Obi-Wan in the sitting room in the same place Anakin had left him the night before, but now he was meditating.
Anakin sat down across from him again and began his usual series of structured meditations on tranquility and restraint, the routine Obi-Wan had given him some months ago to help him focus and remain calm. It worked a bit - it was better than nothing. He preferred it to the unstructured meditation of letting his mind simply meld into the Force, the results of which could be unpredictable and frightening, with strange and powerful visions and feelings, none of which he could make sense of. He'd shattered a window once by accident by meditating in that way, and Obi-Wan had forbidden him from attempting such meditation without supervision.
After meditation, he expected Obi-Wan to talk to him again about the fight, but his master said nothing of it, which was fine with Anakin. He still felt embarrassed about his emotions the other night and didn't want to revisit those feelings. Maybe Obi-Wan felt the same way.
They went to breakfast and afterward to the library in the old school building, where Obi-Wan outlined Anakin's schedule of study for the time they'd be on Helia. Anakin was to study and train in the mornings, and then after a break assist with work on the farm til dinner, then have free time.
After getting Anakin settled, Obi-Wan left him sitting in the wide archives alone with his texts. The silence of the place disturbed him a little. Even in the Archives on the Temple, there was a bustle, murmurs of quiet conversation and hushed giggling of younglings. Here there was no sound but the faint birdsong coming from the gardens outside. Anakin did his best to study, but found his mind kept wandering. It was not yet time for his break, but it was getting close, so he decided to call it a day and left his books sitting where they were on the long archive table. He grabbed his bag and jumped out of the library window, that being the fastest way to get outside.
The air felt warm but not yet stifling, and after looking around a little, Anakin found a nice clear place by one of the garden fountains and pulled a remote droid out of his bag. He used it for blocking drills with his lightsaber, having modified it to be faster and more powerful than the standard ones at the Temple. Obi-Wan hadn't scheduled any real physical training for the day, but Anakin did not think he could go more than a day without practicing at least a bit with his lightsaber.
He turned the droid on and let it fly, keeping his eyes closed as he blocked the lasers it fired at him in quick succession, buzzing around his head first and then dipping down low. He moved quickly and fluidly, savoring the moment, feeling instead of thinking. After a minute or two, however, a feeling made his fingers hit the button on the remote hanging from his belt and the droid went still in the air.
Anakin turned around, opening his eyes and searching for the person whose eyes he'd felt watching him. It didn't take him long to see Eraan sitting up in a tree nearby, bare feet dangling, staring down at him.
Weirdo, thought Anakin.
"Can I help you?" He asked the boy tersely.
Eraan shrugged and hopped down out of the tree, approaching him. "Think I could have a turn with that?"
Anakin stared at him.
"Look," Eraan said. "I'm sorry about yesterday. It's just that the last padawan to visit here gave me a lot of trouble. I guess I took it out on you. Declan and I talked about it. It wasn't right."
"Who was it?" Anakin asked curiously. "Who gave you trouble?"
"His name was Vasti something. Vasti Sarathy. At first he would barely talk to me, then he wouldn't leave me alone. He seemed to like reminding me what a supposed failure I am."
Anakin rolled his eyes. "Oh him. Well, I can't say I blame you. He's like that to everyone, I think. That guy's a piece of work." He held out his hand. "Truce, then"
Eraan grabbed Anakin's hand, but looked past him at the droid still hovering in mid air. "So can I try?"
"Oh, sure," Anakin said. "If you think you can handle it. I really juiced this thing up."
Eraan pulled the lightsaber off his belt and ignited the green blade. Anakin wisely took a few steps back before activating the droid again, and watched as Eraan swung gleefully at it, blocking the shots with gusto. He wasn't terrible really, but then, he didn't have his eyes closed. His form was pretty sloppy too, as if he hadn't practiced in a long time. Anakin had to dodge a few stray lasers that Eraan had missed. He laughed, watching the other boy duck and jump around, waving his blade in wide arcs.
"What's all this about?"
Anakin turned to see Obi-Wan approaching. He smiled but didn't answer, instead turning back to watch Eraan.
Obi-Wan took the scene in for a couple moments before placing his hand on Anakin's shoulder. "Turn that thing off. This is ridiculous to watch."
Anakin did so, snickering as Eraan kept hopping around for a moment after the blasts had stopped firing.
"All right," Obi-Wan said, approaching the other boy. "Let's tighten it up a bit, shall we? Show me a proper opening stance."
Eraan complied enthusiastically, assuming the basic Shii-Cho stance that even the tiny younglings knew. Obi-Wan adjusted his hands slightly on his hilt and moved it a bit lower. He took a step back, apparently satisfied, and ignited his own blade.
"Now, show me how you block."
Anakin watched them go through basic blocking drills, kneeling down on the ground as if he were at a lightsaber class at the Temple. Watching them made him think about how not so long ago he'd been going through the same exercises for the first time with Obi-Wan. He remembered how his master hadn't even let him touch a training 'saber until he could do all the basic movements perfectly with a wooden training stick. How proud he'd been when he'd gotten his first practice lightsaber, and how far he'd come even since then.
Obi-Wan continued Eraan's lesson and Anakin started to feel impatient. When would it be his turn? He wanted Eraan to see how good he was, and he wanted to show Obi-Wan as well. It felt like a long time since they'd sparred just for fun. Obi-Wan always seemed to be too busy these days.
Anakin gripped his hilt tightly, watching the two of them go through the same boring, basic movements over and over. But his chance never came. Obi-Wan turned off his lightsaber and clipped it back to his belt.
"That's enough for today, I think. Declan told me you boys are needed in the northeast quadrant getting some readings on the vaporators there."
"But I didn't get a turn!" Anakin protested, springing to his feet.
"Calm down, Anakin," Obi-Wan said. "You'll have plenty of time to train."
"Yes, Master," Anakin forced himself to say. He knew Obi-Wan was right, but he didn't have to like it.