They continue like this for two weeks. Rachel brings Quinn to school, physical therapy, and doctor appointments. She helps her with her homework and brings her up to speed on the classes she has been neglecting. They make small talk and get to know each other. The topics that led to this are never brought up, nor is the topic of the singer's sexuality. Quinn's progress is amazing and she is strong enough to stay home by herself after the two weeks. It's Saturday and it has been a full week of her staying alone at home. Rachel still does everything as before except she brings the blond to her own house instead to the brunets. For some reason the cheerleader's body is really sore and she knows she needs a hot bath to ease it but there is no way she can get in the tub alone. She calls the only person that will come no questions asked and help. In less that fifteen minutes Rachel is at the door letting herself in.
Going to the spare room she knows the cheerleader is using till she can get up the stairs, "Quinn. What do you need help with?" As she looks in the room she does not see her but notices the bathroom light is on. "Quinn, are you decent?" With no reply she takes a hesitant look inside. Her blood runs cold as she sees the blond on the floor propped against the tub with closed eyes. "Oh my god! Quinn!", she yells as she runs into the bathroom.
Hazel eyes open slowly, "I'm fine. Just slipped and hit my head. Give me a minute.", comes out hushed.
"What in the world were you trying to do that you slipped?", is asked as hands roam over the blond head feeling for bumps and eyes scanning for blood.
"My body has been really sore lately and I wanted to take a hot bath to ease the pain. I called you but I got impatient and tried myself. I failed miserably." She says as a smile forms.
"You know you are not supposed to use the tub alone. How were you planning to get out when you can't step up that high to get out? You scared the shit out of me! I thought. It doesn't matter what I thought. Let's get you in the stupid bath." The singer scolds as she lifts the very naked beauty from the floor and places her in the tub. Against her will a tear slips down her face. Turning to leave she wipes the tear from her face.
"Please don't go. Can you just? I don't know, sit in her while I soak?"
"I don't want to make you uncomfortable."
"You could never make me uncomfortable." With that the singer sat down on the floor and leaned her back against the tub. After a minute of silence and wondering to herself Quinn had to ask, "Rachel, what is it that you thought when you saw me in here?"
Sighing, "I thought you finally tried to kill yourself." Tears beginning to fall freely again.
"What do you mean by finally?"
Trying to find the right words and failing, the brunet just decided it would come out how ever it came out. "The day I brought you to the auditorium to talk. I saw it. I could see the end in your eyes. The hopelessness. I didn't want you to go through that. I was walking by when I saw it. You had been avoiding all the glee club for weeks so that was the first time I really got a look at you. I don't know when you decided it or how, but I remember that look." Taking a deep breath she swallows the fear and says, "I remember it looking back at me from the mirror of the bathroom. That's what I mean by finally."
Silence.
That is all there is till the water starts to go cold and Rachel gets up to get the shower chair from the shower. Laying a towel across it, she then takes off her shirt. Quinn only looks on and says nothing. It becomes apparent why when the brunet reached into the tub and pulls the blond out. Water covering her whole front and soaking her bra, running down to be absorbed by her waistband of her jeans. The cheerleader is placed softly on the towel covered chair and handed another towel. Turning around the singer begins to towel herself dry.
"Why won't you look at me?"
"Quinn, you are naked and wet. I was giving you privacy." She replies as she reaches for her shirt. Undoing her wet bra, she removes is and puts the dry shirt on before turning around. "Do you want help getting ready for bed?"
"Will you stay here tonight?"
"If that's what you want."
"Then please get me some night cloths from the top drawer of the dresser and you can get you something from there too."
Walking out Rachel takes a deep breath, What did I just agree to? Looking around she does not see any underwear for Quinn but finds some really short shorts and camisoles in the drawer she was told to look in. "Quinn. Where is your underwear?" the brunet calls as she looks through the other drawers.
"I don't wear any at the moment. They just get in the way while trying to go to the bathroom."
A blush creeps over Rachels face. Shit. I guess I can't barrow any then. Mine are soaked from getting her out of the tub. "Okay. I'm coming." Walking into the bathroom she finds the blond where she left her, just towel drying her hair. "Here we go." She says as she hands the cloths to her.
"Can you help get my shorts on? It's easier with help."
"Sure. What do you need me to do?"
This time the cheerleader blushes and the brunet can't help but like it. "Just, umm, I'll pull them most of the way up, but I'll need to use your shoulders to stand and stay up. If you finish pulling them the rest of the way up?"
Rachels mouth goes dry, "Yeah, I can do that."
Once both girls are dressed and laying in the bed with the tv on, Quinn decides to ask what she has been holding in for the past half hour. "So that's why the skillet song is on your playlist. Will you tell me what happened?"
03/06/2009
Walking down the hall, Rachel holds her binder to her chest and just tried to stay out of everyone's way. It's been rough the last week. She has been trying to make to summer. The last few months are here and then she can go the theater camp and be with Stacy. Stacy has been her best friend for years and it sucks that they live in different states but they call at least twice a week to check on each other. At least they did till last week. Stacy's mom called to say that she was in the hospital. Stacy had been in an accident and has not woken up from a coma. This week with out her to vent to has been hell. Her dads keep checking on her but due to Stacy's prognosis looking bad, Rachel has been depressed. The next thing you know Rachel is being slammed into the lockers. Waking her from her thoughts.
"Watch where you're going man hands!" screams Santana.
I slide down the locker and start to cry as Santana high fives Quinn and walks away. FUCK! Why is this happening? She took a turn for the worst last night while I was talking to her mom. She was the only one that loved me. We shared our first kiss together. We dated all last summer. How can this be happening? She is supposed to be here. We are supposed to store the stage together. I know we decided to be friend because long distance relationships are hard but FUCK! I can't do this. I can't be here. I stand and walk to the bathroom. Just before I go in, I am hit with cold to the side of the face and all I see is red. I close my eyes and push open the door. As I walk in I hear Quinn's voice, "God, she is a freak." And Santana adds, "Yeah she should just kill herself."
At the sink I look in the mirror see bright red sliding down my face and staining my cloths. Why am I here? She is not going to be here much longer and I can't do this anymore. I lift my shirt and look at the bruise that is already on the ribs from hitting the lockers the last three days. There is a new red mark forming and I know it will bruise. Everyone hates me and the only person that wants me here is about to die. I lower my shirt as the last bell of the day rings.
When I get home I see that I'm alone. My dads are at work. Walking to my closet I find the nicest dress I have and put it on. I fix my hair and do my makeup. I don't want my dads to have to do anymore than necessary. I open the medicine cabinet in my bathroom and find what I'm looking for. Opening the bottle of oxycodone from when I hade broken my arm a few years ago, I look in the mirror and watch myself swallow the ten pills left in the bottle. I walk over to my desk and start working on the note. It needs to be done before I fall asleep. I know I won't wake up once I do.
Dear Dad and Daddy,
I'm sorry you have to find me like this. I'm sorry I will cause you pain. I just can't keep doing this. Every one hates me and the only person that made everything ok will not be here soon. Stacy is losing her battle and I know you know this. I just can't take it anymore. The lockers are hard but the words are spit in my direction are worse. There is nothing left for me here.
Love always,
Rachel
My tears slide down onto the paper and I lose my battle with consciousness.