Here is chapter 4. Sorry I didn't get it posted till now... hope you will all enjoy it. I did use a quote in it from BtVS. The episode called Passion is always one that makes me cry...I thought it fit well so I was like wtf...

I also want to say think you to everyone who had reviewed and added me to their alerts or favs. I am so glad you are enjoying this fic and it is fun for me to write it. I know I missed replying to a few reviews and for that I am sorry...keep reviewing please! I will try to not miss any from here on...

No beta and I own nothing as always. Let me know what ya think!

Stop Being a Coward

Chapter 4

As Dimitri stepped back into the bedroom, he noticed Lissa sitting on the couch with a sad smile on her face. "Sorry, I heard yelling and wanted to make sure you were okay."

"Me?" Dimitri asked wonder why Lissa would be checking on him instead of Rose.

"Rose…"she trailed off. "Rose thinks that I am blocking her, not letting her feel the crazy. She thinks that I am shielding her from my thoughts and feelings. But I'm not."

"You aren't?" Dimitri looked confused and went to sit in the chair across from where the Princess sat.

Lissa shook her head, "Nope, quite the opposite actually. I have been trying to project my thoughts and feelings into her so that she will feel something but she's been numb to it all. I'm not sure if she completely let the dark engulfed her and take away her fight or if she actually willed it away subconsciously. I was so worried about her and the first few days after…" she looked to Dimitri, sure he would know what she was referring to. "Well I was worried and all that worry and anxiety I was feeling was going straight through to her. She was in a rage. She attached anyone that got close and was yelling at me to leave her alone."

Dimitri was surprised at Rose yelling at Lissa but he nodded for her to continue. "Everyone came and checked on her, Christian, Eddie, Adrian, even Ambrose. But she refused to see any of them. She barely wanted me in here. Actually, I don't think she wanted me in here but refused to use force to remove me so I knew she still had a little control. Then Adrian came back one day after she had yelled at everyone to leave her doorway.

Adrian, being the type of guy who doesn't take no for an answer when it comes to Rose, thought he could be her knight in shining armor. He thought he could snap her out of this. She broke both his hand and his nose when he tried to get near her."

A hint of a smile kissed Dimitri's lips at the thought of Rose breaking pretty boy's nose.

"So the next day Adrian tried again. This time she went crazy and started beating him up. She broke his arm in two places. Christian was there fortunately and tried to get her off of him before she killed him but the only way he could was by using fire. It burned Rose's hands pretty badly. She then turned around and punched Christian in the face telling him to get out or she would kill him. I managed to get Christian and Adrian out and told them to not come back for right then. I left with them for a few minutes to heal Adrian's arm and Christian's black eye but when I got back she was like a zombie. She just stared across the room at nothing. I couldn't get her to snap out of it."

Lissa's face turned to a grimace, "even when I healed her hands she didn't protest or act like she felt it. She had no idea what was going on. She has been in that crazy haze ever since. She is either crying or staring off into space. It's like she just gave up."

Lissa could tell that Dimitri was in pain hearing about what had happened but she knew he needed to hear it. "I'm sorry Princess, this is all my fault. I just couldn't see her; I couldn't look at her. I still don't know if I can be there completely yet. I don't know that I'm helping."

"Are you serious? You have helped her so much just by being here. I checked on you earlier and saw the two of you asleep. Rose has been having nightmares or something. She won't talk about them. She just cries and shakes whenever she's sleeping. She isn't much better awake but while she was asleep in your arms, she was peaceful. She actually had a hint of a smile on her face and that smile is the first one I have seen in weeks. She also reacted to you, she yelled."

"But that's not helping her…." Dimitri began but Lissa cut him off.

"It's helping her more than you know. She was so devoid of emotions, like I said, she had let the darkness consume her or something. But when she got mad at you, she felt something. She felt anger and sadness flare up inside of her. Even if it was for just a moment, she felt something. I know that we can get her back now. We just need time. The old Rose has to come back to us."

Dimitri looked down in thought about what Lissa had told him. Could he really be helping her? He noticed the glowing letters of an alarm clock across the room and the time surprised him. "Is it really 7:00 PM?"

"Yeah, you and Rose slept for nearly 14 hours straight."

"Crap, I am supposed to be on a plane back to St. Petersburg in 3 hours." He ran a hand over his face, knowing he needed more time.

"Do you have to leave? You just got here and I know Rose needs you." Lissa said, not wanting to force him into staying if he did not want to be here but knowing that he was Rose's best hope at getting better.

"I will push my flight back a few days. Give us some time to figure things out here. But I still have to go Princess. I have to get my thoughts together and I don't know if I can do that so close to Rose. I need time too."

Lissa nodded in understanding. "Can you go get Rose some food? I don't know if she will eat it but maybe. She needs something. You can use the phone in the lobby to change your flight."

Dimitri nodded and stood to walk towards the door. Just as his hand reached for the door knob, Lissa called back to him, "She really loves you ya know? It's like nothing I have seen before. I thought I was part of Rose, and I am to some extent, but somehow you are more. You should have seen just how much she had changed by just knowing you. I have known Rose my entire life and I have never seen the fire and compassion in her that I did while she was with you. It took me a while to figure out what was going on between the two of you. I thought you were just her mentor but when you were taken away from her," Lissa didn't want to remember that day because she felt her own guilt rise up in her for how she had treated Rose, "she had never been so hurt. She was hysterical. She chose you over me and that had to rip her heart it. That's how I know just how serious she is about you, how much she loves you. It was physically painful to be away from her but she did it for you. Breaking a bond like isn't easy and doesn't happen for just anyone."

"I know. I am grateful to you and her for what you did. I know she has sacrificed so much for me and I love her that much more for it. I just hope that I can be worthy of that love." Dimitri looked over his shoulder where Lissa was still sitting on the couch.

"You are Dimitri. Even as a Strigoi, you protected her. She told me about what happened. I even think that the evil in you couldn't conqueror your love for her, even thought it couldn't perceive that it was in fact love. The evil had such strong emotions and since evil can't perceive something as pure and wonderful as love, it went with the only emotion that could be that strong, hatred. They say there is a thin line between love and hate. You as a Strigoi walked that line every day. Sometimes you would tip more one way and sometimes the other. But you are definitely worthy of her."

"Thank you Princess." Dimitri finally left then, walking towards the lobby area on the first floor of guest housing. He would get Rose something to eat. He was pretty hungry himself and he hoped that she would eat with him.

He was left alone with his thoughts as he walked down the deserted hallway. Something about what Lissa had told him kept reminding him of something he seen on TV a long time ago. It was talking about how passion ruled each of us.

Passion is the source of our finest moments; the joy of love, the clarity of hatred, and the ecstasy of grief.

He had definitely gone though each of those when it came to Rose. He had never been in love before and his passion for her showed him the true joy of loving someone. The way he had made love to her in the cabin had been a magical experience for him and he knew that he would never feel anything so emotionally touching or wonderful again.

When he was turned Strigoi, his passion had given him a clarity of his feelings for her. The hatred that filled him was born out of his passion for her and the life inside of her. He had wanted, no needed to take it from her, to feel her life consuming him. Maybe he had thought that if he took her life she would always be a part of her.

The ecstasy of grief was something he was facing right now. The grief of his actions towards her, the grief of what he had made her become, the grief of losing her, and most of all the grief of breaking both of their hearts in the process. He could go thought out each day pretending that he didn't have a broken heart to mend but Rose's was painfully on display and he needed to help her fix that.

Part of him hoped that while helping to mend Rose's heart, he would save his own as well. Somehow he knew the two were linked and if she was never happy again then he couldn't be either. But he refused to dwell on his own feelings at the moment as he walked towards the reception area in the corner of the first floor lobby to use the phone.

Three days, he would give himself three days to help Rose and then he would have to leave. He had to help himself before he could allow himself to be happy with her. IF he could be happy with her.

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