Author's note: I love writing this story so much, and your reviews make it even better to do so. I am so sorry for slow updates. The deadline of my thesis is getting closer. Just a few more weeks before I can really put my energy into writing this story again. Please, stick with me. I know about slow updates and how they can ruin the reading experience. However, I love this story so much and have a lot of plans so I'll definitely continue and I'll try to update sooner this time.
Summary: force ma·jeure noun \ˌfȯrs-mä-ˈzhər, -mə-\ 1: superior or irresistible force. 2: an event or effect that cannot be reasonably anticipated or controlled. Alicia & Will, seven months after she left L/G: She doesn't know that I'm here. That I'm with her. Because I'm not. What was I supposed to say at the admin? It's complicated?
Thanks: My beta RomanticSoutherner for great tips and comments as always. It was her birthday this week :)

Force Majeure

Chapter 6 – Keep Breathing

All we can do is keep breathing now.
– Ingrid Michaelson (Keep Breathing)

Thursday, 7:23 PM

I wonder if she even knows I'm here. I haven't seen her since the ambulance drove off. I just stood there. Lost, in the middle of the parking garage unsure of what to do next.

It's been over an hour since I sat down in the waiting area. I haven't moved an inch. These plastic chairs are uncomfortable. I bury my face in my hands and rub my eyes.

She doesn't know that I'm here. That I'm with her. Because I'm not. I'm not her colleague, not her friend, not her partner. What was I supposed to say at the admin? It's complicated?

From where I'm sitting, I can see the door of the examination room she's in. First, the paramedics left. A doctor came in. A nurse. A police officer. Another doctor. And I'm worried sick.

"Weren't you that guy in the parking garage?"

I look up at the man walking up to me. It's one of the paramedics.

"Yeah… yeah, I was."

"Want some?" He points at the coffee machine. Coffee. I nod.

"You know, you could have gone with us in the ambulance."

I don't really respond.

He hands me a cup of coffee and sits down on the chair next to me.

"Can you tell me how she's doing?" I try to sound unaffected, but it comes out much more worried than I intended to.

"Conscious and alert during the ride…" He stirs his coffee. "But you never know in these situations."

"Right... Thank you."

"They didn't give you any updates?"

"Ah… She doesn't know I'm here," I explain reluctantly, not wanting to explain why things went down the way they did.

He frowns at me. Luckily, his beeper goes off. "Duty calling." He gets up from his chair.

Conscious and alert. That's good, right? That's good, Will. Stop worrying. She'll be fine.

But what if she isn't fine? What if it all goes wrong? I'd have to call her kids. Would I have to pick them up? I'd have to call Peter first. Or her mother. Or Owen. And then? I wouldn't know how to tell them. What should I say? Maybe I should have called them right away when it happened. Too often, I heard stories where people seem fine, but then suddenly just… stop breathing.

I can't. I can't let my mind go there. I can't prepare myself for that, and I don't want to, and I don't need to.

Stop it, Will. I'm all worked up, and I don't know how to calm down.

It's just that I'm completely powerless, and it frustrates me. I need to be in control. Of my life, my work, my feelings, all of it. Now, I'm not in control of anything. How am I supposed to sit here and wait?

But I could have been in control. I could have avoided this. If I hadn't waited for her to leave, if I would have just left the office when I wanted to, I could have prevented all of this. I would have heard her cry for help, and I would have been there.

I would have gotten her out of there.

Frustrated, I shoot up from my chair. I need fresh air to catch my breath and calm down.

Thursday, 7:50 PM

I found a way outside, and now I'm on the phone with Kalinda.

"David's client?"

"Yeah," I reply. "Dilaney, I think she said. I'm not sure."

"I'll check."

"Once they get this guy, let me know. Okay?"

"Sure. I will."

She's silent for a moment.

"How is she?" Her voice is not as persevering as usual. Hesitant almost, as if she's asking a forbidden question.

"There's a doctor with her now. I don't know."

"You're in the hospital with her?" She sounds confused.

"Yeah," I reply, rubbing my eyes again. "Long story."

"You're staying?"

"Not sure," I answer in all honesty. "Just let me know if they're going after the guy."

"I'll keep you posted."

Thursday, 08:12 PM

Back in the plastic chairs. I'm hungry, but I don't feel like eating.

I need to make up my mind. What am I going to do? Stay here? Call someone? I glance at the examination room, and at that very moment, a nurse walks out.

I get up and make my way to her. "Hi, I'm here for Alicia Florrick."

"Yes?"

"She knows me. I don't know if she wants me in there, so… could you ask?"

She raises her brows at me, observes me from head to toe. "Your name?"

"Will. Will Gardner."

She walks back in to the room. A few seconds later, she opens the door. "I guess, it's okay."

I guess? What is that supposed to mean? A little hesitant, I walk in.

"Hi," I start. My voice is hoarse. This is making me nervous. She's laying on her side, her back towards me.

I walk across the room and sit down on a chair in the corner. She looks up at me.

"I didn't know you came all the way here."

"Of course, I did," I respond. I rest my elbows on my knees and cup my face in my hands as I look at her. It comforts me, seeing her in a bed like this. Still in bad shape, but cleaned up a little and within the safe environment of a hospital.

"You should go home," she pleads. "Really, I'm fine."

"You're not fine."

"Well, I will be." She props herself up on her elbows, but moans as she does and sinks back down.

"Need help?"

She rolls her eyes at me. I probably shouldn't ask that again.

"Even if they do clear you, who's going to drive you home?"

"I'll call a cab."

"Alicia, I know you don't want me here. But then I need you to call someone else."

She turns on her back.

"Want me to call Owen? Your mom?"

"God, no," she replies.

"Anyone else?"

She doesn't respond and stares at the ceiling.

"What did the doctors say?" I decide to ask, changing the subject.

"I need a head CT," she sighs. "Check for internal bleeding, fracture… I don't know."

"Right."

"They gave me stitches," she motions at her head.

I nod. "Anything for pain?"

She shakes her head lightly. "Only Advil."

"Nothing stronger?" I ask stunned.

"They can't do that, nothing numbing."

She gives me a quick look, as if she's thinking what do to with my presence. She turns back on her side, towards me.

"Will, you don't want to be here," is what she finally says. I didn't expect anything else.

"Do you want me to go?" I ask in return.

She sighs. "I don't know." She breaks eye contact and stares back at the ceiling. "We're –"

She doesn't finish her sentence.

I look at her for a moment and decide to get up and move my chair closer to her bed. I sit down again.

"Look," I start. "I'm here now. I don't have any plans for tonight…"

She opens her mouth to interrupt me, but I cut her off.

"Let me just wait for the CT results. If they'll clear you, I'll get you home. If you have to stay the night, I'll leave."

Again, she turns her face to me. "We ignored each other in the hall way this afternoon, Will. Don't pretend."

"I'm not." I just reply, staring back at her. "I'm staying."

The look in her eyes softens. As if she just gave up fighting me, accepting that this is how it's going to be.

I wish you didn't fight me that hard. I can't help to think as I look at her. We wouldn't be this complicated. We wouldn't be such a tragedy.

Then, the nurse walks back into the room. "CT is ready for you."

Thank you for reading!

And, once more, your reviews have made me incredibly happy. Such kind words!

Preview for next chapter: The results of the CT are in. Will said he'd bring her home if they clear her, or leave if she needs to stay. Which one is it going to be?