Love Struck Delusion
Chapter 24 – I Alone Am It's Descendant.
Marx's POV, Rebellion Ops Center.
It's been several hours since we've heard anything from Archer or Raptor. I assume Archer is putting Hunter through some major tests if he's been out this long with her. But Raptor I don't know.
"Relax Marx. Raptor will be back." Stated Wreak as I nodded from my table across the room.
"I know that Wreak. I'm more concerned for his mental well being. These mood swings aren't good for him right now. Hell he may be out cold from pain out there. I was suppose to give him another shot about an hour ago."
"Will he die?" Wondered Wreak as I shook my head.
"No."
"Then don't worry about him. This war is going to be long and hard on him. Let him get some time to think. He's so overwhelmed right now with his family I'm not blaming him for his actions at the moment. In time he'll find his medium. We just need to stay by his side. Asshole or not to any of us. We couldn't even begin to understand him."
Nodding I replied.
"I guess so. I just don't want him going crazy like Shadow did."
"It won't happen Marx. Raptor is tough. He knows what he's in for." Stated Wreak as I continued to nod.
"I hope so."
Raptor's POV, Outside Iraq Border.
I left my car a few miles back. Now I was just concerned with finding a place to rest.
Parking myself up on a dun, I sat down to look into the blazing hot sun above my head.
As sweat and pain covered me in more ways then one, I asked myself how did it possibly come to this?
"At one point in my life I was head of special forces. Leader to the Pakistan rebellion twice. I protected Shadow Robotnik and I lived to see the end of the war. I even had a chance for freedom and I had a family. Now look at me."
With the sun beating down on top of me, I shut my eyes to the heat.
"I'm alone. Fighting a war with no more then a few men. Most aren't even trained. I'm putting my kids and my bitch of a wife in danger for a war effort that's not likely to see even the first wave of haters."
Gently laying down in the sand, I continued to say to myself in my head.
"I'm lost as not only a soldier, but as a father. And I don't even remember what it was that drove me back then when Shadow was alive. Maybe it was because I had nothing to live for. Maybe every day was fresh start to my life. I had no consciences. Or at least short term ones anyway."
"Maybe I'm already dead and my soul is just waiting to move on. It would explain a lot."
"Over the past hour or so my wounds were beginning to come back and hurt me. It felt like I had a knife in my chest and I couldn't do anything to pull it out. In time I knew I was going to pass out. Maybe that's why I walked all the way here. Maybe I just want to pass out and hopefully die alone in a peaceful spot of my choosing."
With my chest thumping I asked myself.
"What makes me important? I can see why Shadow was. He was smart, determined, confident, and aggressive. And what am I? Hah, I'm no more then a washed up patriot with a hard on for seeing myself and my family suffer. I think I am suppose to die. Maybe that's my enviable goal to reach at the end of all this. Maybe death would come back. Maybe it would claim me now unlike all those years ago after losing my daughter."
As I felt my body numbing to the heat, I said to myself.
"If death was a person...I would ask him why I'm still alive. I want to know why I'm truly alive right now. And then I would punch him in the face for not sparing me sooner."
Gently beginning to chuckle to myself, I said out loud.
"Yeah...hehe...I'd show him what for. Heh...he."
Gulping one last time in a sudden sleepy state, I just continued to accept my situation and pass out. Hopefully I wouldn't wake up this time.
Raptor's POV, Unknown.
It was so dark. I could only see myself and the dark all around. Nothing in sight. Not a sound being made other then my confused breathing.
"Where am I?" I asked myself out loud as I suddenly felt my head thumping.
As my brain began to bump around, I recalled a feeling. I was here before at some point. I just couldn't remember when or why. But I knew I was here somehow.
As I continued to look around, I was stopped by a bright light from all around. It lasted maybe five seconds when all the sudden I found myself back in the capital in Pakistan. I was in one of the main halls with people I knew all around.
I stood there in utter shock and confusion as Frost came walking by to say.
"Morning Raptor. Hey good job yesterday man, we sure taught G.U.N a lesson."
Watching in loss as he kept on his path, I was caught completely off guard as Ghost came from my blind spot to touch my shoulder.
"My bad boss. Didn't mean to bump ya."
Ghost's face was cold, his eyes were completely still as he didn't even look at me. It was like he was dead.
As he soon vanished from sight, I looked forward to see a familiar black and red hedgehog heading straight for me. My mind was at a loss for words as he soon stopped no more then two feet away to look directly into my eyes.
Not a word was said. He just stared at me with a smile. My right arm was shaking as he looked down towards it.
Still smiling, Shadow reached for his holster to pull out his gun.
Watching in confusion as he turned the butt to me, I widened my eyes as he placed it in my hand.
With my arm still shaking, I looked towards his hand as he placed my fingers in position. Only after setting my trigger finger in the guard did he look back to my eyes to begin to try and pull up my arm.
Suddenly sensing something was wrong, I tried to resist. Little to my capability, I wasn't able to do anything other then follow his lead.
With the gun in my hand, I watched with wide eyes and a panicked body as he placed the gun to his head.
Slowly placing his finger on top of mine, Shadow pushed down.
"BANG!"
The gun went off, but no sound was heard. Blood splashed out the other side of his skull as the bullet went through his brain. Yet his body still stood there...smiling at me.
With a few seconds going on with nothing happening, I asked.
"What are you doing!? Stop!"
I don't think he could hear me.
With my heart racing faster then ever, I began to feel him taking back control over my arm.
Looking down to the gun, I began to shake all I could as I saw it was being raised to my head.
Unable to do anything other then move my head, I soon felt my body going still. As the gun reached my skull, my head came to a complete stop and I was forced to stare into Shadow's eyes. As I felt him pulling the trigger; I saw his mouth open to say.
"Bang."
Raptor's POV, Outside Iraq Border.
My eyes shot open in utter panic as I felt something against my skull.
Unaware of the feeling, I glanced over slowly to find the M1911 in my hand, with it's barrel resting on my head.
"Agh!" Immediately I threw the gun away and into the sand.
Somehow my body was raised back up and somehow I was more awake then ever. Both scared and confused, I began to look around my body.
My hands were cold and my head was thumping.
"That couldn't have been just a dream. I would never do that to myself. Not that way. I said in my head as my eyes went back to the sand covered gun a few feet away."
Slowly reaching for it, I pulled it in by the barrel and rested it on my lap.
As my eyes wondered it's surface I swear I saw the blood from Shadow imprinted on it's chrome.
Unable to know if what I was seeing was real or not, I began to take my dirty shirt to it and begin to rub.
With heavy breaths leaving me by the second as I pushed down on it's frame, I remained rubbing as the blood didn't seem to move.
Using everything I had, I shut my eyes and let out a burst of anger; to only find when I reopened that the blood was gone.
Looking to my shirt, I widened my eyes as I had ripped clean through it's fibers and into my own fingers.
Gently I began to bleed. My body began to shake as drops of blood began to drip to the sand in between my legs.
"I need to get out of here." I told myself as I attempted retake my legs.
Struggling to stand, I placed the gun back behind my pants and stuffed my bleeding fingers under my armpit.
I knew all that I was seeing was from the lack of water and energy. Nothing was real. Not the blood, the vision, the place I thought I was in. I know better then to fall for those tricks. Death won't claim me just yet. Not now. And not with tactics like that.
It would be a long and hard walk, but as my car came back into sight, I was able to push what I had left forward and back into the driver's seat.
With my fingers no longer bleeding, I rested my hands on the wheel and turned on the engine. Carefully refocusing what power I had left, I drove back into the city.
With my mind wondering hard, I tried my best to figure out what to do. I needed to get right. My body was down and my mind was gone. Going back to the HQ would be a mistake right now. I can't think.
No matter how much I hated the thought, I knew my only option was to go back home. Hopefully I was still welcomed.
Taking the drive in vein, I soon approached the house. Coming to a stop in the driveway, I reached for my cup holder that had my cell phone in it. Gently using my good hand to turn it on, I dialed my wife who I knew was home by the sight of her car next to me.
It took a few rings when she decided to finally answer.
"Hello?"
"Hey...it's me. I need your help." I replied as she let out a slight cough.
"What's wrong?"
"Are the kids home?" I asked as she calmly replied.
"Yeah, there in the living room. Why?"
"I need to come inside for a little bit." I stated as she then urged.
"Then come in."
"I can't. Not this way."
"What way?" She asked in confusion as I urged carefully not to make her mad.
"Can you just come out here and bring a blanket or something? I don't want them to see me like this?"
"Like what?" She asked again as I urged.
"Baby please. I don't want to talk about this over the phone. Just...please."
"Okay. Just hold on a second. I'll be out in a minute."
"Okay." I replied as she hung up.
Placing my phone in my pocket, I rested my head on the steering wheel. Letting out some exhausted coughs and gags, I took notice as the sound to the front door was opened and my wife was approaching with a blanket.
Turning off the car, I carefully opened my door and did my best to get out unaided.
Immediately as I was exposed, Alicia saw the problem I was having and did her best to cover me up.
"Jesus Christ hun! What happened to you!?" She asked in a slight panic as I ordered.
"Help me to the bathroom upstairs. I'll tell you then. Just don't let the kids get close. I don't want them to see this."
Nodding as I tried to walk forward, Alicia kept the blanket wrapped tight and aided me through the front door.
The second we entered, Midnight and Ghost, who were in the living room on the couch took notice.
"Daddy!" Shouted Midnight as Alicia shouted.
"Stay there baby! Daddy is really tired. I'm taking him upstairs. Stay down here and watch TV with your brother."
With my children watching me in awe, I was doing my best not to show pain and walk up to the second floor of my house. As soon as we got up there, Alicia helped me into the bathroom where I took off the blanket and clung myself to the nearby sink. After shutting the door behind us, Alicia said calmly.
"Now can you tell me what's going on? What happened to you? Why aren't you out there with Archer? Why bring this home to our kids?"
I was in no where near a mood to argue with her. It wouldn't help my cause.
"Right now is not the time to start an argument with me. So please, don't." I begged of her as she ran her hand along my arm.
"I don't want to fight with you Raptor. I just want to understand what's going on. You run off, you come back. You run off again, then come back again. I don't know how to feel. You're not making this easy on me or the kids." She stated as I asked.
"And you're not making it easy for me?"
"What did I ever do to you Raptor? Why am I the bad guy here?"
"You're the bad guy cause I don't know how you feel. I went to Dr. Clamer and he gave me a new outlook to all this."
"And what's that?" She wondered as I looked over into her eyes.
"I know that you know, that what I'm doing out there with Archer is the right thing to do. I know you really want to help me fight, but I understand now why you can't. The kids."
Alicia began to nod as I went on.
"I understand you can't just leave them like I can. One of us has to be the good parent. And we both know it was always going to be you and that this was always going to happen. This is a problem we saw coming but we didn't know how to handle it. I'm out there fighting. Taking this kind of punishment." I stated as I showed her my wounds.
With her eyes widened I went on.
"Yet through all this pain there is one that is worse then them all put together. That's me not knowing if you accept this. I'm freaking out by myself not knowing if your behind me. I don't know if tomorrow your just going to take the kids and go because I wasn't being a good enough dad and husband. I don't understand how you feel. But I want to Alicia. Please...for the love of god tell me right now how you fucking feel. Because I don't think I go much longer in the dark. I need you." I stated as I was breaking down before her.
In silence, Alicia watched as I turned my body to sit down on the toilet.
"Raptor...I...?"
Pulling out Shadow's gun, I tossed it aside and ordered.
"Just say what you feel. I'm not going to argue or fight. I just want to hear it from you."
Ghost's POV.
Mom and dad were upstairs for a good time now and I couldn't just sit here and wait. I needed to know what was going on.
Jumping off the couch, I made my way for the stairs.
"Where you going?" Asked Midnight as I replied.
"To see what their doing."
"But mom said to stay down here."
Ignoring my sister, I proceeded upstairs to see the bathroom door shut.
Approaching in a quiet pace, I stopped outside the door to hear from mom.
"For years I wanted what we have now. You know Ghost and Midnight mean everything in the world to me. And I know they mean everything to you too. But you're right. I don't know what to do now that this has come back to us. I wanted freedom for not only us, but them. Maybe it's because I'm not used to being alone, but without you here I feel lost again. And I don't know how to handle that Raptor."
I could hear mom beginning to cry.
"It's so hard knowing that you could be killed tomorrow and I would be left alone with Midnight and Ghost. I can't do everything. Hell Raptor they think your out there because you need time alone. How would they feel if they found out you were out there killing people? How would you feel if your kids got hurt because of that?"
With my eyes widened I said to myself.
"Killing people?"
"Like it or not Raptor you're a monster. But I understand what your out there doing, and for your information, yes I approve of it. I know your only doing what your doing because you want Ghost and Midnight to be free one day. If they were older I'm sure they would even be able to understand that. But that doesn't eliminate the fact that you're still getting yourself and us into danger. Can you sit there and tell me what to do when G.U.N finds out you're the rebellion leader? Can you tell me what to do when they come to get us? Can you? Without all that bullshit you somehow muster up?"
Silence went on for a good ten seconds when my mom said.
"You never had an answer for that Raptor. You were always a good bullshitter."
"This has to be done Alicia. If not me then who?"
"I don't know Raptor. That's what makes this hard on both of us. We both have good intentions. But we can't both have everything we want. We need to have some common ground here. Or at least give me an idea of what to do."
With silence once again spreading, I kept focused as my dad came to suggest.
"You take the kids to Afghanistan. Stay at the capital with Mason. The rebellion is still strong there. He'll keep you safe."
My mom had no argument to battle back with as I was filled with confusion.
Raptor's POV.
Alicia was now settled. And as she nodded slowly, I looked to the door to see a pair of feet blocking parts of the light outside.
"Hey." I said to Alicia as she looked back into my eyes.
Pointing under the door, Alicia took notice and went for the knob. Quickly opening the door to find Ghost behind it in confusion, we locked eyes and I asked.
"Did you hear everything you wanted to?"
His eyes quickly jolted to Alicia as she said.
"Baby...?"
Immediately to the word, Ghost ran for his room.
Gently letting out a breath, Alicia looked to me to ask.
"What now?"
"Tomorrow we tell them what's going on. Midnight and Ghost. They may not like it or agree with it, but it has to happen."
Nodding Alicia replied.
"Okay...okay."
Lowering our eyes as parents, the decision was made. For once we agreed. And in the end she was on my side. Maybe now I can focus. Maybe now...my mind can stop wondering.
Let me know what you think. I'll have another chapter up later.
mT Shadow.