I told you I would update today and stayed up until I did. Go me! This chapter is a little bit of a change of scenery...don't worry, Dimitri will be back soon. Thanks for all of your reviews...glad you like that last chapter. I hoped it wasn't too repetitive of the book. I will update more soon...maybe tomorrow...lots of homework so we will see.

I own nothing and it's unbeta'd as always... I honestly didn't even re-read it so if you see a lot of mistakes, let me know. Thanks!

Stop Being a Coward!

Chapter 17

It had been hours since Rose had woken up from another terrible nightmare. This one had to do with the cave and Nathan biting Dimitri and then coming after her. She shivered as she thought about it but continued to run around the track that was just outside of the gym.

She had just finished a rather extensive work out of lifting weights and stretching before she had decided a nice long jog was in order. She had gotten out of bed almost immediately upon waking up and quickly dressed in work out clothing to come to the gym and keep her mind off of her dreams. It had worked okay so far as she had kept her thoughts on training and getting back in shape. She had seriously been neglecting her physical activity in the past few months and she longed for the days back at the academy when her world was full of training or combat classes with her Russian god.

This had changed though. Things were better now and thing would get better from here on out if Dimitri would just get back. He hadn't really been gone that long, not even a week in all with the travel time to Russia included and he had hardly been in Russia for a couple days so she really couldn't expect him back so soon but she missed him. She felt silly and ridiculous for having that much dependence on someone and knew that she had to become her own self again, the strong and independent Rose who grew up as a ward of the academy, the girl who spoke her mind about anything and thought about what she had said afterwards.

Not that Dimitri had changed her, but she had changed since being with Dimitri. Many of the changes were for the better. She had better control of her temper, was a much better fighter and in better physical shape so she could protect Lissa, and she was more mature and subdued than she had ever been in her life. But this clingieness was something she had never felt before, something that didn't feel as though it was exactly her. She needed to get back to herself. She knew she would always need Dimitri and want him but this pain from being separated and the nightmares were driving her closer to the edge of insanity.

She knew she would figure it out though as she thought about what she had learned from Anna and Vladimir. Somehow, she felt this was a side effect of the spirit within her caused by the darkness that she took from Lissa. When she was numb to the world, the darkness had been at bay. She hadn't felt any of it. Or maybe it had been that she had absorbed so much of the darkness that she was drowning in it and didn't even realize it until Dimitri had brought some semblance of light back into her life. Maybe that was why she needed him so much, maybe her body was telling her that she needed that light or the darkness would consume her and this time she wouldn't come back.

Thinking again about the nights events, she looked towards the setting sun. Everyone would be up soon and she could be around her friends. That somehow seemed to help as she found some light in them. It wasn't the same feeling she got with Dimitri of absolute ease and promise but it was something and right now, she would take all she could get.

She decided to go back to her room in guest housing to shower before finding her friends. The long workout had left her muscles sore and she had a thick coating of sweat that kept running down her temple and into her eyes, stinging if she didn't wipe it all away before it reached them.

As Rose entered her room, she thought about the fact that her and Lissa, along with Christian were still staying in guest housing. How long would the Court let them be 'guests' before they had to find a more permanent residence. Adrian of course already had permanent housing there as he had lived there for quite a while off and on with his parents between school and his time at the academy.

Rose had never has a permanent house to live in. Since she was small, her home had been the academy's walls and when she left them, she was kind of without residence. She knew she wanted a house. There were some around within the walls of Court but she didn't think she wanted to live here forever. Maybe she would talk to Lissa about it. She knew that Lissa had only been staying in guest housing in an attempt to be close to her as she would have found some place else to stay quicker if Rose hadn't been in her 'depression' for lack of a better term.

Maybe that would give her something to do until Dimitri returned. Lissa and her could find a place for Lissa to live. Rose wanted to wait to find something for herself as she wanted to talk to Dimitri about what his plans were when he returned but she knew that Lissa had wanted an apartment with Christian as she had felt it in the bond from time to time. Lissa had often thought about what life would be like after school and had always pictured herself getting an apartment and going to college. Once Christian entered the picture, Lissa had added him to her perfect after school picture. Rose knew that Lissa wouldn't mind her staying with her and Christian but there was no way Rose could live with Sparky so that left her up to her own devices to find a place to stay.

That was what she wanted to do today though: talk to Lissa about permanent housing for her and Christian. That could be fun and it would keep her mind off of more troubling matters. That being resolved, Rose got dressed for the day and headed off in search of her best friend. She was actually really excited about concentrating on something that was more lighthearted then the despaired they had all faced lately.

She had found Christian, Lissa, and Adrian in a small café down the street from the wing in guest housing that they had been staying at. Noticing the bakery rack of fresh donuts, éclairs, muffins, and croissants, Rose realized she hadn't had anything to eat yet and her stomach was growling at her, demanding it be filled. She selected two chocolate glazed donuts with a bottle of chocolate milk to wash it down. She had earned a little bit of chocolate after the workout she had done this morning or rather last night.

"Um….that is too much chocolate Rose. If you weren't dhampir I would worry about you getting fat." Christian put his two cents in after Rose joined their table and for once Rose ignored him.

"So Lissa, I was thinking that maybe we could start looking for some place more permanent to live, for you and Christian at least. Remember when we used to imagine our apartment after we left school? I think we should start making our dreams realities." Rose said the words before she thought them through and once she realized what she had said, she shivered.

"Not all dreams are going to turn into realities Little Dhampir." Adrian looked at her pointedly, remembering her confession of nightmares. He had obviously seen her reaction to the statement and known what it was about.

Lissa looked confused for a moment but answered Rose, "yeah. That would be great Rose. But why are we just looking for me and Christian? What about you?"

"I want to wait for a while before deciding where to stay long term and there is no way I want to be anywhere near you and Christian actually living together, it's bad enough getting sucked into your 'alone time' and your dreams." Rose said giving an ugly look towards Christian.

Lissa blushed but Christian laughed. He didn't like when Rose was a part of his alone time with Lissa but was happy that he made her uncomfortable from time to time without even trying. "I would really like to get out of guest housing." Christian replied, looking at Lissa again, "give us our own space to do with what we want."

Lissa's thoughts began to run wild in her head as she blushed once again and Rose made a mental note to stay away from the coffee table once they were moved in. "Okay, so let's find a house. I saw an ad for a realtor in the paper earlier. Maybe she could help us?" Lissa picked the newspaper up that she had been reading and began leaving through it again. "Here it is. Her name is Abby Badica. Let's call and see if she can meet us today."

At the mention of the name "Abbey Badica," Adrian choked on the coffee he had just been sipping. The other three at the table turned and gave him a weird look.

"Are you alright Adrian?" Rose asked, concerned at just how much the already with moroi seemed to pale at the sound of the name.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I just remembered that my mother needed me to do something for her today. I have got to go. Sorry guys." Adrian coughed and wiped the liquid up from where it had spat it on the table. Fortunately, the hot fluid missed his companions. He then abruptly got up from the table, pushed in his chair, and left without another word or glance at the audience behind him.

Did you like it or did it suck? What's up with Adrian? Please review! Thanks in advance...you guys are awesome!