Author's note #1: My last chapter got published just before the pandemic really took off and severely impacted my private situation. It took a while to adjust, and I apologize for not being able to entertain you with a new chapter during these last months. I must say that I'm really proud of what it turned out to be, and I'm already well on my way with the next ones. I can't believe all of you stayed with me for so long, it means the world.
Author's note #2: I'm not a law-professional by any means, so please forgive any errors or inconsistencies in that regard.
Summary: force ma·jeure noun \ˌfȯrs-mä-ˈzhər, -mə-\ 1: superior or irresistible force. 2: an event or effect that cannot be reasonably anticipated or controlled. Alicia & Will, seven months after she left L/G: "You know, I've never been polite about it," I say bluntly. "About what?" "That I loved your daughter."
Thanks: To all of you who come back to read, it's honestly insane to me how many of you are such loyal readers, leave a review and have been so incredibly patient. Every review means the world to me and has encouraged me to continue.
Force Majeure
Chapter 23 - We, The Jury
When things get difficult remember who you are.'
'Who am I?' asked the boy. 'You are loved' said the horse.
- Charlie Mackesy (The Boy, the Mole, the Fox and the Horse)
Wednesday, 16:19
I glance at my watch. I'm early. The court room is still empty, no one's here yet. I get up from the bench I was sitting on. I'm restless, tense even. I haven't been able to shake off the feeling all day. I didn't perform as I should have in negotiations this morning, then snapped at one of the junior associates and I was downright distracted during my last meeting. I couldn't pinpoint the reason earlier, but now that I'm here, I realize that I've been on edge because of this verdict all day. From a professional point of view I know she should, and will, win this. Still, I can't help but worry that she won't. It wouldn't be right if he gets away with it. And that's the uneasiness I'm feeling, because I'll be the first one to underline that practicing law isn't always about what's right and what's wrong. I know that. His lawyer knows that. Alicia knows that.
I sit back down.
Fortunately, Dilaney's lawyer isn't any good. The CCTV footage showing he'd been hanging around her car for a good ten minutes also defeats the angle that he was acting on emotional impulse. Let's not forget he's been abusing his wife for over ten years. And that lame argument that he didn't realize the damage that a massive concrete column could do is literally the craziest bullshit I've heard in my entire life. He left her there, bleeding and unconscious. It was reckless by every definition. She might as well have died on the spot. It's insane to me. This whole trial makes no sense at all. So it should, and will be, aggravated battery with a deadly weapon. The jury will have to see that.
Frustrated, I get up from the bench for the second time. And then I suddenly hear an all too familiar voice behind me. If that isn't Alicia's mother. I turn around to see Veronica walking up to me with Zach next to her.
"See, it is him," she tells Zach as she approaches me.
"It is me," I joke and shake her hand. "Good to see you again Ms. Loy."
"Veronica to you, you know that. You're not her lawyer, are you?"
"Oh no, just showing my support."
"Ahh," she gives me a meaningful look. "Very good. Well, Alicia is still talking to ah, what's his name?"
"ASA Brody," Zach calmly responds and gives me an apologetic smile. He's just like his mother, I think to myself. Calm and collected, not easily distracted.
"Hi Zach," I shake his hand. "Everything all right? How's college treating you?"
"All good, thanks," he politely responds.
Then Owen joins us, quickly followed by Alicia and Brody. She mouths a 'sorry' to me as she approaches. I smile at her.
"Good to see you," I tell her.
"Thank you for coming," she says and hugs me. It's a short and friendly hug. More than professional, but nothing like the last time we saw each other. She pulls back as quickly as she leaned forward, but her fingers brush my hand for a split second longer. No one notices, but I do. I notice her touch, the perfume she's wearing and everything immediately makes me think of how I would have kissed her if we'd been in different circumstances. But as always, reality catches up with me.
"Alicia, let's head in," Brody breaks in to the moment we're having and gestures her to the courtroom. Veronica and Zach follow, Owen and I are right behind them.
"How is she doing?" I ask Owen quietly as we enter the courtroom.
He sighs. "I can never really tell. She seems confident, but then she has this irrational fear of him getting away with it, you know?
"He won't," I reassure him. "The State's Attorney has a strong case. She'll win this."
Wednesday, 16:48
Alicia's sitting on the front row, together with Brody and his assistant. Veronica, Zach and Owen are in the bench behind her. I'm in the one after that. Alicia can't see me, but I'm sitting far enough to the right that I can see the side of her face.
She won't have to speak today. It's just the closing arguments and then it's up to the jury. It shouldn't take long because quite frankly, this whole trial has been a farce from the start.
I can't keep my eyes off her. I'm continuously checking if she's doing all right. I can't really tell. She looks calm and composed, but she always does. She looks like she's analyzing what's happening, probably trying to look at the whole thing as a lawyer rather than the victim.
She shouldn't have to do is. This whole thing has been dragging on for far too long. I wish I could be alone with her. I just want to see her smile and relax. And that unexpected kiss last week brought back feelings that have been more than distracting. But I'll have to be patient. She had Zach over during the weekend and her mom arrived this Monday.
We texted this Sunday. Normally, I prefer calling but since her family was swarming around her like bees, it seemed wiser not to. She proposed to see me this Friday. I thought about inviting her over to my place but proposed dinner instead. It seemed the more gentleman like thing to do. Plus, dinner was never an option before. We moved in and out of hotel rooms, every move cleverly planned ahead. Sitting in a restaurant and bumping in to who knows who was out of the question. It was exhausting, but I loved every second of it.
I have to admit that I had a hard time accepting that was never going to happen again. But the anger I've felt this past year had made it easy to shut her off. I was getting used to the idea that Alicia wouldn't be a part of my life anymore, that it was a chapter that had been closed and would stay closed. And then all of this happened, and we got catapulted right back to each other.
I look at Alicia again. I wish I could sit down next to her, hold her hand and tell her it will be all right. But I can't. I text her instead, even though I'm not sure if she has her phone on hand.
16:53 It's going to be okay. No matter what.
I put my phone down and almost immediately see her look at hers. Good.
She briefly turns around. For a split second we make eye contact. She gives me a weak, but grateful smile.
I smile back.
Wednesday, 18:20
The jury was in chambers for less than thirty minutes. Alicia and Owen went out to get a coffee, Veronica and Zach disappeared for a bit and I've been doing some e-mails in the meantime. I knew it wouldn't take longer than an hour. Alicia and I barely spoke, but she seemed to be doing okay.
We're back in court now.
"My understanding is that we have a verdict," judge Abernathy announces.
Everyone around me sits up straight. I find myself staring at Alicia as Abernathy goes through the motions as he's being handed the verdict. It's almost as if I'm in some sort of trance. The whole room disappears. I don't even hear every single word, I just need to hear 'the guilty' and the 'as charged', it's all I'm focussed on.
"…We, the jury…"
All I see is her. I can see her chest moving up and down, her head up, lips pursed into a straight line.
"…guilty of aggravated battery with a deadly weapon, as charged in the indictment…"
I see Alicia bow her head down in relief. Brody pats her back as to congratulate her.
"Thank God for that," Owen sighs in relief.
Wednesday, 18:26
After Dilaney has been escorted out of the court room, we all stand up and start talking to each other. Alicia is standing close to me, her hands clenching the bench in front of her. She looks pale. She hasn't said a word.
"Are you okay?" Owen asks her.
She shakes her head. "I can't breathe," she mutters.
Owen and I look at each other for a split second. I gesture at the exit.
"OK, let's get you some fresh air," Owen says and quickly leads her out of the courtroom.
"She will be fine," Veronica says as the two of them walk out. "And thank you," she turns to Brody.
"You're very welcome Ms. Loy," he replies. "It was the only sensible outcome."
I nod. "Excellent defense," I tell him and shakes his hand.
He raises his brow at me. "That's a first," he grins.
"We're on the same team this time."
"You do know she left your firm," he scoffs. I decide to ignore it. I don't care what he thinks, really.
He heads out to say goodbye to Alicia. Zach gets up to collect her and Owen's stuff from the bench.
"And now, we need a drink," Veronica announces. "Is there a bar anywhere close?"
"Sure," I answer. "Just around the corner. If you head out left and then go right immediately, you'll walk straight towards it."
"Oh no, but you're coming," she cuts me off.
Wednesday, 19:10
I've always seen Alicia's persuasiveness as being one of her strongest qualities as a lawyer, and I now realize she didn't get that from a stranger: I'm now in the wine bar that I just recommended to Veronica. At first, I thought it was a bit odd to join, but I also wanted to make sure Alicia was doing okay. And to be completely honest, any excuse to be around her for a bit longer would have done the trick. It does mean I'm now stuck with Owen and Veronica as well, who both have been throwing me looks that tell me they suspect something, and I don't know if, and if so what, Alicia told them about last Friday.
I'm standing at the bar, waiting for the bartender to pour us four glasses of wine as Owen suddenly shows up next to me.
"Need a hand?"
Speaking about the devil.
"Thanks," I hand him two glasses and take the other ones myself.
But Owen doesn't move away from the bar.
"I heard you and Alicia… talked…," he starts in a low voice.
Ah. So she definitely told Owen.
"Yes," I simply confirm. "We did."
"And… it was good talk."
I nod slowly. "Yes."
"Hm hm," he tilts his head and raises his brows. "But you didn't just talk, right?"
"Ahh," I shake my head. I don't know if we should be having this conversation, so I don't say anything. But of course saying nothing does confirm his question.
"That's what I thought! Good, good… You know, I've always been on your side. So yeah, good things. Finally. I mean Jesus Christ."
He makes me grin. "You've always made it very clear that you were on my team."
"Oh right. Yeah, maybe I should apologize for my… plea, that timein the elevator."
"It's all good. You meant well."
"So, you being here," he continues his cross-examination. "What does that mean exactly?"
"It means…I'm here," I just answer and raise the two glasses I've been holding for a couple minutes now.
"You don't want to talk about it with me," he concludes. "And you're right, sorry. I'm just… intrigued."
"No, I genuinely don't know what it means."
He looks at me. My honest response takes him by surprise, I can tell. "I think… it means that you two care about each other. And that you'll figure it out. Let's get back, you do know it's a massive faux-pas to make my family members wait for wine."
I nod. "Definitely."
Wednesday, 19:55
Alicia and I haven't had a moment to ourselves, but Owen left a couple minutes ago and Veronica just got up to take a call outside. Alicia's sitting in front of me, on the other side of the table.
"So, my mother put you up to this?" Alicia asks.
"Nope. It was my idea."
"It wasn't," she responds in disbelieve.
"No, it wasn't," I grin. "She has her ways."
"She does," she nods. "Don't feel obligated to stay."
"No, I actually think I'm gonna go. You should spend some time with your mom."
She sighs. "If she ever gets off the phone with her boyfriend."
"Her boyfriend?"
She rolls her eyes. "God, don't get me started."
I laugh and drink the last from my wine. There's a short silence.
"You holding up OK?" I ask.
"I'm fine," she nods.
"Relieved?"
"Yes," she sounds decisive.
"You did good. You're tough."
"I don't know about that."
"You are. You sat through it all, I know that's not easy."
"Well, barely."
"What happened, at the end?"
She shakes her head. "I don't know," she sighs deeply. "When I heard that verdict… It suddenly hit me that it was real, everything that happened. That it wasn't just a bad dream."
"It definitely wasn't."
"It got to me. He got to me. He didn't even speak, I know, but still…"
"This is not something you just forget," I tell her. "What he did was terrifying. But know he'll be the least of your worries the next couple of years."
"I wonder how many exactly."
"You'll find out in a month's time."
"I'm already dreading that sentencing hearing," she sighs.
"Don't. You know he'll get three at least, but if Abernathy takes his history of domestic abuse into account, it might as well be five, or seven even."
She looks up to me. "And what happens after that?" Her eyes look straight into mine.
It's a good question that isn't easy to answer.
"You… live your life," I reply. "It's all you can do, really."
"Yeah…" she sighs deeply. I can tell that today's hearing affected her. Even though she got the best possible outcome, it brought back a trauma she's clearly still processing.
Instinctively, I lean in and place my hand on her arm. I'm taken aback by my own move, especially with her mom coming back any second. So I want to pull back, but she prevents me from doing so as she places her hand on mine.
She smiles at me.
"Thank you, for being there," she says. Her voice is soft.
"I wanted to be there."
"No, I mean…" Her eyes search into mine, and I realize she's not talking about today's hearing. "…for all of it."
Wednesday, 20:04
"You're leaving already?" Veronica calls me out from the street as she sees me closing the door of the bar behind me.
"Heading back to work," I explain as I put on my coat. That's a lie, but I'm afraid that without it, I'll never get home. "But thank you, for the invite."
"Of course," she says. "You saved my daughters life after all."
"Ah, that's not true. She saved her own."
She smiles. She studies me for a second, head to toe. "You're a good man, Will Gardner," she then says, as if she's giving me a stamp of approval.
That makes me grin. "And you raised a strong woman."
"I did, didn't I?"
I nod. For a moment, I doubt whether or not I'll say it, but I do it anyways.
"You know, I've never been polite about it," I say bluntly.
"About what?" She asks, unsure of what I'm hitting at.
"That I loved your daughter."
"Well," she says and takes a step closer. "You have to admit, you were awfully diplomatic."
I shake my head. "No. I made myself clear. Many times. But she made a decision, and I respected that."
"So, do you still, love her?"
For a second, I think about how to respond to that.
"I'll tell her that answer," I decide to say. "Have a good evening, Veronica."
Thank you for reading. Can't wait to hear what you think.
(Preview for next chapter: two days later, Alicia and Will have their dinner date. But things don't go as planned).