A/N: There we are, the final chapter of a story that I started back in 2013. This story has been in the making for seven (!) years. I'm sorry for making all of you loyal readers wait so long. I hope that I've managed to deliver a story that did justice to these wonderful characters/actors and the brilliant show in which all of this was created. I've always tried to stay close to character and to not go too overboard with 'unrealistic' scenes and scenarios, even though I know that some of you are hoping to see exactly that in a fanfic. Either way, from the bottom of my heart: thank you for your loyalty, your kind words and patience. You have encouraged me to continue writing. I have started a multi-chapter story that starts at 5x15, where Will does get shot but doesn't die, and I'm hoping to publish the first part soon. There are also some one-shots that I'd still like to publish. If you wish to remain updated on those, please follow me (hannahwrites89), so that new story updates will arrive in your inbox. Please note that I'll start double-posting my work on archiveofourown (hannahwrites89), to reach a broader audience.
Summary: force ma·jeure noun \ˌfȯrs-mä-ˈzhər, -mə-\ 1: superior or irresistible force. 2: an event or effect that cannot be reasonably anticipated or controlled. Alicia & Will, seven months after she left L/G: What we have no longer takes place in a separate universe. That doesn't mean I now know what our future holds, but we have options. That thought alone brings a certain peace and calm between us that was never there before.
Thanks: To Aleisha and Jen (RomanticSoutherner) who were so incredibly kind back in 2013-2014 to advice me on this story and to beta most of the chapters.
Force Majeure
Chapter 26 - Together
Force Majeure: A superior or irresistible force. An event or effect that cannot be reasonably anticipated or controlled.
- Merriam-Webster
Four weeks later
Tuesday, 10:08
I've experienced many different sentiments watching Alicia over the years. Admiration, hate, pure lust, frustration, love and pain. So much pain. But right now, I'm leaning back in my chair and I'm simply enjoying myself, as I watch Alicia fighting her way through a discussion with David.
They're standing at our reception. Alicia mentioned she would pass by the firm this week for a case. And here she is. She's standing with her back towards me, meaning I get to watch her but she doesn't see me.
My gaze wanders off to Diane's office. I grin at the thought that Alicia and I had sex right where Diane is now talking on her phone. I must admit I do somewhat regret doing that there. I have great respect for Diane and I certainly wouldn't want her doing the same in my office. But right in that moment, it was too good not to do it.
I took Alicia home that night. Back in my apartment, I walked over to the bathroom and turned on the shower. I didn't call her to join me, because I knew that she would. I took off my clothes, stepped under the hot water and just a few minutes later, without saying a word, she joined me. She embraced me, her face against my chest. The hot water hitting our bodies and drowning her dark hair. My fingers traced her bare shoulders, breast and thighs. We didn't talk to each other, but she looked up to me, her make-up slightly smudged, and it made me realize how we finally saw each other pure and naked again. I vividly remember that moment. We were under that shower for only a couple go minutes, but it felt like an eternity in the best possible way. Back in my bedroom, I sat down on the edge of the bed and she lowered herself on to my lap. The sex we had was slow and sensual. I remember holding her breasts and watching her face the whole time, seeing her relax and fully be herself. Masks off.
That night didn't last forever. Work catapulted us both back into our daily lives, as it always has. But what's different this time around is that what we've been doing together these past weeks has slowly become part of that very same daily life. What we have no longer takes place in a separate universe. That doesn't mean I now know what our future holds, but we have options. That thought alone brings a certain peace and calm between us that was never there before. It's uncharted territory that I'm happily exploring.
Tuesday, 15:17
It's raining. I pull over in the street of Florrick/Agos and look in my rear view mirror, spotting Alicia hurrying her way over to my car. In less than an hour, the sentencing hearings starts. I know she's been dreading it for weeks, but we've barely talked about it. We only agreed that I would pick her up this afternoon, and that we'd go there together.
"Hi," she says with a smile and quickly steps in the car. She leans in and kisses my lips.
"Hi," I respond, amused at how natural these kisses have become over the past weeks.
"And?" She asks curiously. I told her I would speak to Diane about us. "How did she react?"
"Asked to please close the curtains next time," I say in all seriousness.
She lets out a sharp laugh. "Oh my God."
I grin at her laugh. "No, I simply told her we're seeing each other and… she respected it. She was hardly surprised."
She gives me a hesitant smile.
"Alicia, we're handling it. We're okay."
She nods in response and leans against my shoulder for a moment. "You smell good," she whispers and sighs. "Feels like I haven't seen you in ages."
"I got to see you this morning."
"Where?" She looks up at me.
"At the reception. Saw you arguing with David."
"And you didn't come say hi?"
"Nope. I was enjoying it too much."
She chuckles and sits back in her seat.
"How did it go?" I ask.
"Terrible," she sighs. "I'm not on top of my game today. David caught onto that."
"Did he know why?"
"Don't think so."
"Maybe you should have said something."
"I don't need his sympathy."
"But did he ever apologize to you?"
"David? No. He didn't do anything."
"Exactly," I scoff.
"Will, it wouldn't have made a difference."
I shake my head in frustration. It would have. He should have called security and that man would have been escorted out of the building immediately.
"Didn't he threaten you during negotiations?"
"I don't remember exactly. He was just… worked up, aggressive." She swallows hard. "I don't know what-…-" She stops her sentence and averts her gaze.
"We don't have to talk about this," I interrupt her. I immediately regret starting this conversation.
She shakes her head. "No, I want to. It's just… I never understood what made him snap like that."
I turn in my chair so I can look her in the eyes. "Alicia, this man is dangerous," I tell her. "You're not going to find a rational explanation for what he did. You know that."
She avoids my eyes and looks down to the floor. "No, maybe I did provoke him."
"Hey, of course you didn't," I grasp her hand in mine to make sure I get through to her. "He assaulted you. I know what it looked like, I was there. You need to get out of your head that you had control over any of that. There's nothing you could have done differently and you're not responsible for any of it."
She doesn't say anything in return. She just bites her bottom lip and looks at me in a way that makes me see that she's never been able to fully come to terms with what happened. Seemingly unconvinced, she turns away from me and stares out of the window.
"And what happens when he gets out?" She asks in a whisper.
The vulnerability in her voice catches me off guard. We've talked about the attack here and there, but she never allowed herself to show much emotion about it. I know this question has been bothering her for months. It's not the first time she's brought it up. I realize that knowing the final sentencing in a few hours does not only mean that she'll be able to close the chapter for now. It also means that she'll know how long it will take before the chapter will be reopened in the future.
"I don't know," I reply in all honesty. "But yes, he'll get out eventually. I know that's frightening, but you'll be okay."
She gives me a weak nod in return. "Will," she mutters, followed by a shaky breath. I see her lips quiver. "I can't go through that again." Her voice cracks as she says that, and I see her eyes well up with tears. There's so much sorrow in the way she looks at me. It breaks my heart.
I lean in, wrap my arms around her and pull her close. She holds me tight, her head against my chest and we just sit there.
"I know," I just whisper. "I know…"
As we sit there, holding each other tight, it hits me that this is the first time I see her break down like this. The walls we had built so carefully between the two of us are finally breaking down. Because it's not only Alicia who has always been the rational and distant one. I also never allowed myself to have this conversation with her. I never asked her how she felt. For a long time, I thought that it was not up to me to talk to her about it. But I now see that it was up to me. After all, I was the one to find her. I'm the only one who, to some degree, really understands what she went through. I should have never denied her, or us, that conversation.
I plant a kiss in her hair and all I can think is that I love her so much it hurts.
She takes a deep breath and pulls away from me. Next, she takes my hand in hers, looks up to me and breathes out a very unexpected "I love you."
Three words I never dared to dream she would ever say to me. But they sound so natural and so uncomplicated. As if it's always been this way.
"I know," I smile and kiss her forehead. Because I do know. It's the only reason why I was able to make peace with the fact that she would never say those words to me. I knew, deep down, that that's how we felt about each other. "I love you, too," I whisper in her hair.
She squeezes my hand even tighter. "Well, good," she laughs weakly and looks up to me. She clears her throat, wipes away her tears and sits back up. "OK, let's go. Let's get this over with."
Thursday, 15:49
As we make our way to the courthouse, my mind flashes back to the first time I joined her hearing, months ago. I showed up announced, unsure whether I should, or even wanted to, be there. But I quietly slipped through the door and sat down in the back of the room. Shortly after, we finally had a much needed frank and candid conversation that made us reach a new level of understanding, convincingly sealed by her kissing me that same evening. But that day of the verdict, I was still forced to distance myself from her, being nothing more but a friend showing up for support, not knowing what we were to each other.
And honestly, at the time I thought to myself that it was all right not to know. Whatever was happening between us didn't have to turn into anything. Burying the hatchet was enough. But it did turn into something. What exactly this is, I don't know. But we don't need a label. And perhaps Alicia would even agree with me that, this time around, we don't need a plan, either.
We'll take it from here and we'll see what life brings. It's the only thing you can do. You'll have to keep adjusting. You can decide on certain principles, on boundaries, on what to do or not to do. But you'll need to let go of them at some point, whether you like to or not. You have to, your life will demand that of you. So, you evolve, you grow and you learn from your behaviour and previous mistakes. And you'll learn to forgive, too.
We walk up the steps to the entrance. I look at Alicia as she walks next to me. She radiates calm and confidence, even though I know that she's struggling with the thought of having to face her attacker once more. You are fantastic, I think to myself. And we head in, together.
- The End -
Again, a massive thank you to each and every one of you for reading and reviewing over the years. Especially those of you who are reading this story now, years after the show has ended. I truly hope I did justice to the characters. Do let me know what you think, I love seeing your reviews. As I mentioned in the author's note, I'm working on a couple new ideas. Please follow me (hannahwrites89) either here or on archiveofourown, to not miss any new work. I'm so excited to see other authors publishing new TGW stories as well! Again, thanks for your kindness and everlasting patience. Hope all is well on your end of the world, and hope to see you back at one of my new stories.
Love, Hannah.